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Kee Smith ne sait plus qui il est. Il sait ce qu’il était avant : le fils gay mis de côté qui s'était dirigé vers une carrière d’ouvrier pour prendre tout le monde au dépourvu, le soumis qui aimait se faire prendre par des sportifs musclés et masculins qui le remettaient à sa place, le minet élégant habillé dernier cri qui faisait la fête toute la nuit. Mais après que son ex-petit ami l’eut frappé et insulté, Kee s'était retiré de la scène publique.
De retour après une année de pause, Kee ne sait toujours pas où est sa place. Ses amis disent qu’il est un minet au passé : un minet qui a pris du muscle et est devenu beau gosse, mais Kee continue son introspection. Au lieu d’aller vers son style habituel, Kee sort avec le minet Tate Stevens, un professionnel de l’industrie de la mode qui prend soin de son image. Cela s'avère être la meilleure décision qu’il ait pu prendre, sans compter qu’il commence à retrouver sa confiance en lui d’un point de vue sexuel.
Avec Tate, Kee peut parler sans honte de ses peurs et de sa confusion à cœur ouvert. Tate a ses propres peurs : grossir et vieillir. Faire fonctionner cette relation entre deux opposés ne sera pas de tout repos mais ils commencent à réaliser que les compromis en vaudront la peine s'ils en sont capables.
251 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 26, 2016




“Can I bring a date?” I asked my father.
“A gay date?” Dad queried.
I rolled my eyes where he couldn’t see. I’d been out to him for nearly six years, and he still asked if my preferred partner was another guy.
“Yeah.”
He paused, which told me he still wasn’t comfortable with the idea that his son took it up the arse. But in the end, he said the politically correct thing. “Of course you can bring whoever you like. Your mother and I will be happy to meet whoever you have in your life.”
But I was under no illusions where my mother was concerned.
“Perhaps it can be a surprise for Mum?” I suggested. “Don’t tell her beforehand.”
If Mum knew I was bringing a gay date to her birthday celebration, she would be on the phone for days before, making a huge drama of it. All of her friends would sympathize and gossip about how terrible it was that she had to have a son who was gay. Oh, how terrible. Oh, what trials Barbara had to go through in her life.
“I saw that nice man who’s gay and his two kids in a magazine yesterday. What’s his name? The one who played Doogie Howser? Oh yes. Neil Patrick Harris. Isn’t he handsome? Oh, I loved him as Doogie. And he has this beautiful house and these two children who are perfectly adorable.”
Right there and then, she showed Jeanette how wrong she was, showed support for her gay son, and did it all without hurling a single insult.
“Cops?”
“They leave us alone out here. They have more important things to do.”
“Snakes?” I checked the next thing off the list.
“Asleep,” he assured me.
“Spiders?”
“Asleep too.”
“Are you lying?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “But come on? Can’t you brave a couple of spiders for my birthday wish?” he pleaded with me, and my barriers started to crumble.
… I couldn’t see what I was doing and had to go by feel. My wet dick was swinging in the slight breeze, and I tried not to think of spiders and ants.
The things we do for our boyfriends.









I loved him and knew, in that moment, that any other love I thought I had for anyone else was just me fooling myself. Our love was a hundred times bigger. It was elemental, it came without conscious thought, and it was more than purely physical. It would not wane and die. I wanted Tate for eternity.


