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Graciousness: Tempering Truth with Love

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Sometimes we have important things to say to other Christians, but if we deliver our message ungraciously, they won't benefit from it. Author John Crotts points out that God cares about how we say what we "It is not enough always to say the truth; you must also say the truth in love." In Graciousness , the author addresses Christians who are zealous for God's truth yet struggle to communicate it graciously- in a loving way. Filled with practical instruction and wise insights, this book includes a biblical description of graciousness, with a look at positive examples and commands from the Bible and methods for cultivating graciousness in various areas of the Christian life. Be equipped to speak the truth in love! Table of
1. Why This Issue Is Important for You
2. The Graciousness You Need
3. Learning from the Gracious Example of Jesus Christ
4. Learning from Paul
5. The Truth about an Ungracious Church
6. Cultivating Graciousness in Your Heart
7. Cultivating a Gracious Mind-Set toward Others
8. Cultivating Graciousness through Your Actions
9. Cultivating Graciousness in Community
10. The Gospel and Graciousness

137 pages, Paperback

First published January 15, 2018

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About the author

John Crotts

24 books17 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
Profile Image for Mark Jr..
Author 7 books456 followers
December 13, 2022
Short and sweet and biblical, not necessarily in that order of priorities. =) Used with a friend seeking the qualities named in the book.
Profile Image for NinaB.
478 reviews38 followers
March 26, 2020
Graciousness is a book that has a simple message, but one that everyone needs to be reminded of regularly - be gracious! The Bible is replete with exhortations, encouragements and commands to be gracious. As Christ followers, we know it is a virtue we need to practice and do better every day.

This book touches not only the biblical teaching of graciousness, but offers practical applications on how to be better at it. Jesus Himself exemplified this. “The very act of choosing to come to our fallen world was most gracious.”

Our social media saturated culture has given all of us a platform to opine on just about every topic we can think of. Often this leads to unnecessary arguments where tempers flare and graciousness is tossed out the door for the sake of “truth.”

The Bible cannot emphasize enough the importance of truth, but Ephesians 4:17 tells us to speak truth in love. Often we forget the “in love” part when dealing with others whose opinion we dislike. We fail to realize that our message is not heard when not paired with gentleness in speech and kindness.

The book offers practical applications of the Bible’s commands to love in everyday life. The author provides ample and specific (e.g., book suggestions for group study where you can practice graciousness) examples that inspire the readers to develop a better gracious spirit.

I highly recommend everyone to read this book. Be encouraged by it and start practicing the virtue of graciousness. I also recommend that it is read with Greg Koukl’s book, Tactics, which talks about the different methods to engage the world with the gospel. Graciousness would be a good follow up book on how accomplish that in love.
Profile Image for Lauren DuPrez.
218 reviews6 followers
February 16, 2018
The premise of Graciousness: Tempering Truth With Love, the latest book by Pastor John Crotts, is Ephesians 4:15 which states, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”

Pastor John begins the book with an analogy that I found to be very convicting and simultaneously, very helpful. He asks readers to consider an area in which they might need help (he includes examples such as finances and golf). Readers are then asked to consider what it might be like if the expert in that area happened to approach them and offer to come to their home and extend help in that area. Naturally most people would jump at such an opportunity but Crotts adds to the scenario that the expert, while speaking truth that is necessary and helpful, has terrible breath to the point where it’s unbearable to even listen to what they are saying. This, he explains, is what it’s like for Christians to speak the truth without love.

He states that Christians, especially those who hold to reformed doctrine, tend to speak truth in this manner often. Those who identify as Calvinists are even known for going through the cage stage, a time in which they become so zealous for truth but lacking in love that they are akin to cage fighters. Crotts argues throughout the book that this type of speech is actually contrary to God’s design for how believers ought to speak to one another.

While zealousness for truth is important, it doesn’t accomplish much without love. Having gone through my own cage stage a few years ago, I could readily identify with the scenario Crotts described and I’m thankful for the hope he offers readers to grow in graciousness through Christ alone.

I really appreciate that Graciousness: Tempering Truth With Love is full of Scripture and draws many examples from the Bible as to how Christians ought to speak. One of my favorite points that Pastor John makes is that gracious speech is a way to demonstrate trust in God as we hope for others to realize certain truths or even come to salvation. I’ve experienced instances as a Christian in which people were so worried about others needing to know the truth that they left love out of the equation. I was sad and discouraged by this and to see it mentioned in this book made me realize it probably happens more often amongst believers than we realize and it welcomes the opportunity to speak the truth in love as we remind others that God alone is the one who truly changes hearts.

Another point of the book that I enjoyed is the brief commentary Pastor John offers on Ephesians 4:29, “The Bible’s standard for speech is incredibly high. Every word that comes across a Christian’s lips must be infused with grace in order to build up the people who hear. There are no vacations or even coffee breaks permitted to unleash harsh, critical, unkind or harmful speech – a believer’s mouth must always be on duty, speaking good words in good ways at the right time,” (pg. 16).

This statement greatly encouraged my heart and made me want to shout a hearty, “Yes!” in agreement.

In addition to being encouraging, Graciousness: Tempering Truth With Love is also very practical. A helpful aspect of this book, that Pastor Crotts includes examples of how we as Christians can approach certain conversations in such a manner that glorifies God and shows love toward those we are sharing truth with. He even takes up the difficult task of reminding believers that, “Theological controversies often breed quarrels,” (pg. 20) – a statement that deserves much emphasis in a day and age where it is all too easy to bash people with truth via social media, which, unfortunately, occurs often even amongst Christians.

I can only imagine that writing a book for Christians about how to balance speaking both truth and love must have been incredibly difficult but I’m thankful that Pastor John Crotts was willing to take on the task and do it well.

As Christians, the heart behind our speech ought to be peacemaking as we consider the peace Christ made with God on our behalf at the cross. Our hope and deepest desire ought to be for others to come to this knowledge or to grow deeper in it and one of the best ways we can further this Gospel goal is by speaking the truth in love.

My heart was greatly encouraged by Graciousness: Tempering Truth With Love. This quick read is a necessary addition to every believer’s library and it receives my highest recommendation.

I received Graciousness: Tempering Truth With Love compliments of Cross Focused Reviews in exchange for my honest review.
Profile Image for Rebecca Ray.
972 reviews20 followers
January 30, 2018
Do you ever have trouble controlling your tongue? Or is that just me? I want to be honest, and I want to be helpful, but sometimes the way I say things just comes out hurtful. Because I really need some help in this area, I was really thrilled to get the opportunity to review Graciousness: Tempering Truth with Love.

In graciousness, John Crotts is addressing Christians who are zealous for God’s truth, but who struggle to communicate is in a loving way. Crotts gives us a biblical description of graciousness, examples and commands from the Bible and methods for cultivating graciousness in our hearts and in our lives.

One of the first questions Crotts tackles is, “Why do we need graciousness?” According to Crotts, “people with great zeal to take in and understand God’s truth who do not then work out that truth out in their character and within loving relationships will develop a stagnation of spiritually toxic pride and ultimately spiritual death.”

God forbid.

Crotts also examines the Ephesian church at length, and concludes, “Jesus is saying it would be better to have no church in the massive, thriving city of Ephesus than to have an unloving church, even if it preaches the truth and opposes people who oppose the truth.”

I’ve been in churches like that before, and I couldn’t agree more. You can feel that something is wrong and it is a turn-off to both Christians and non-Christians. Jesus tells us quite plainly in John 13:35, when he says, By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. I want to be known by my love. I want to be theologically correct, but that’s not what I want people to know me for. I want them to know me as someone who loves my brothers and sisters in Christ.

The theory and Biblical examinations in the first part of the book are excellently done and interesting. However, the meat of the book is truly in the application that Crotts has for us. He takes four chapters to examine how to cultivate graciousness in your heart, in your mind, in your actions, and in your community.

In these chapters, he is full of both practical and biblical advice for seeing graciousness in your own life. I think so many of these are good tips, but as he says, the big thing to remember that your graciousness (or lack thereof) is an outpouring of what is in your heart. You must see your own sin before you can repent of it, and I think if you read this book, you might be surprised by the about of sin that you find in your own heart. I know I was, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to repent and to grow in my process of sanctification through such an excellent book.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Cross Focused Reviews in exchange for an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, but I did so because I really love this book!
4 reviews
February 5, 2019
Excellent book on Christian graciousness

This book has been a wonderful inspiration in my life, quite convicting at times and very good in inspiring my thinking. I am a mother of small kids and I find keeping a gracious spirit is especially difficult in my home. This book has helped me to see how to live out graciousness- I will need to read this in the future for the reminders.
Profile Image for Bryce Beale.
127 reviews6 followers
April 28, 2021
Like me, Dr. Crotts has connections with John MacArthur (his M.Div. is from Master's Seminary), and like me he has connections with Southern Seminary (his D.Min. is from Southern). What is more, we both pastor at a Faith Bible Church, even if in separate states. So perhaps I should have expected to find a kindred spirit in his book. That is what I did find--I very much appreciated and resonated with the attitude of Graciousness.

All of the caveats I needed were in this book. Graciousness is not limp-wristedness. If our view of graciousness cannot make sense of Jesus flipping tables in anger, it is not a biblical view. Or again, if it excludes the possibility of some of Paul's strong words, it is not biblical. But many times (in my circles at least) we use the rare examples of sharp words from Jesus or Paul to defend our own less-than-noble anger.

Presenting the truth to others is inherently loving, yet we can present truth in a manner that is not loving. We must love our neighbors not half of the way but wholly, presenting truth in a loving manner. In other words, we must speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15).
Profile Image for Piper.
175 reviews
April 21, 2025
I'll probably be reading this one again. It's full of practical suggestions for cultivating a gracious heart, gracious tongue, and gracious actions. I needed this.

Read again in 2019. Worth the time.
Profile Image for Kris Lundgaard.
Author 4 books29 followers
September 12, 2018
The content isn't surprising, except in how clear, thorough, and helpful it is.
Profile Image for Jonathan Roberts.
2,211 reviews51 followers
February 10, 2018
If you were to ask a person what is the greatest problem with the world right now it could probably be summed up by the fact that no one loves their neighbor as he/she would like to be loved. Or put another way no one is gracious with anyone else. 

This book is a much needed wake-up call for believers who need to be reminded that Christ's imperatives (what we are called to do) are the only result of the indicatives (what He has done for us) affecting our lives. 

This book is easily accessible for all readers, but I think it will find a nice niche in the Christian Living section, where people no matter whether they have had a seminary education or have had a Sunday School education, all will find this book immensely helpful and fruitful. 

The book has two sections the first lays out the Biblical mandate for graciousness in all walks of life. No matter what the person has done or not done to you, no matter where that person is or is from, no matter whether they love or hate you, all are worthy of our graciousness. This idea graciousness is intrinsically attached to our being all being made in God's image and His call for us to love our neighbors as ourselves.  The second section deals with practical ways to live this concept out. I found this section to be one part encouraging, one part enlightening and one part convicting, making a well rounded approach to the living out of the commands to be gracious. 

In conclusion, I give this book five stars, it is an easy read in that it is accessible, but it is a difficult read because it will not allow you to skate on by and keep the same level of ungraciousness (yup I made that word up) that is so common in our world today. Highest recommendation. 
Profile Image for Ashley.
107 reviews4 followers
March 3, 2019
Extremely practical and absolutely vital to the Christian life. There is no greater test of our genuine faith in Christ than true, self-sacrificial love for one another, and graciousness is the expression and posture of love towards others. This message is more important than chivalry, it gets right at the heart of what it means to be a Christian. Don’t believe me, then start with this little book!! You won’t regret it!
Profile Image for Jimmy.
1,254 reviews49 followers
February 20, 2018
Do you speak the truth graciously with others? This is a helpful book for Christian on speaking the truth in love. The author John Crotts is a pastor in Georgia and has written for us a helpful resource for Christian holy living and for biblical counseling. I also think this book is useful for those who might not be thinking they are in need of counseling; Christian pastors and those involved with ministry would benefit it from it if they read this work and apply it and thus become more effective in how they minister and speak truth to others.


The book consists of ten chapters. I felt the first two chapters were foundational: Chapter one is titled “Why This Issue is Important for You” and the second chapter goes over why graciousness is needed. The second chapter of the book also defined biblically what the author means by graciousness. Then chapters three through five looks at examples beginning first with the greatest example of graciousness: Jesus Christ. Then chapter four looks at the example of Paul and chapter five looking at a negative example with the church at Ephesus. The meat of the book felt like it was with chapters six to nine which covered cultivating graciousness with different aspect such as in one’s heart, mind-set toward others, through actions and in community. Finally the book ends with the chapter on the Gospel and

It did feel the book started out slow but it got good as one continued reading. I personally felt it started getting good beginning with chapter three with the discussion about the example of Jesus in being gracious towards others. Truly Jesus is the greatest example. I also appreciated this exposition for while the author does not state it 2 Corinthians 3:18 makes it clear that as we behold the glory of Christ we are transformed. Studying Jesus and His graciousness leads one to appreciate Jesus more and we are transformed as a result of it. I appreciated the author’s nuance in chapter four of how Paul was not perfect and fall short of graciousness but nevertheless his positive example are quite encouraging for us to emulate.

There are a lot of helpful suggestions and counsel on how to cultivate graciousness. Don’t let the last chapter’s title fool you that the Gospel is only discussed in the end of the book: throughout the book the author show how the Gospel has implication in how we cultivate graciousness. I appreciated the author discussing about putting off the sin of harshness is required before one can put on graciousness. Crott also had a good analogy here of putting one a new sports coat can only happen if one first remove the coat one is presently wearing (58). Crott’s discussion here about seeing rooting out harshness is applicable for the Christian life not only for the issue of harshness but also repentance and confession and change for other areas of life and issues too. I appreciated the fact that the book addressed the issue of the heart lest one’s “change” to gracious speech is not true heart transformative change but mere external behavioral modification.
A helpful work with the brevity and vocabulary being accessible for the general Christian adult reading audience. The thing I appreciate the most about this book is that the author’s worldview is thoroughly biblical and he doesn’t import unbiblical secular suggestions to motivate Christian obedience of being gracious. I recommend this work. Also its paperback size and simple but nice cover also makes this appealing enough as as a gift to be purchased for others.

NOTE: I received this book for free from the publisher Reformation Heritage Books through Cross Focused Reviews in exchange for my honest opinion. The thoughts and words are my own and I was under no obligation to provide a favorable review.
Profile Image for Chrys Jones.
202 reviews8 followers
February 12, 2018
Graciousness (Review)
Graciousness: Tempering Truth With Love by John Crotts is like a cool wind on a scorching hot day. Social media’s effects on truth reach far beyond the fake news and opinions of misguided, self-assured Average Joe. To combat the rampant falsehood and arrogance of social media know-it-alls, plenty of people wear a badge of honor as they drop the truth like the nuclear bomb that destroyed Hiroshima. Rather than being gentle like a surgeon doing open heart surgery, they resemble a demolition team seeking to destroy a house all the way to its foundation, so they can rebuild from the ground up. Crotts shows us that this is an age-old issue and that scripture has a lot to teach on the vital need to speak the truth in love.
The first half of the book is devoted to showing the importance of graciousness in our lives as well biblical examples of graciousness. Crotts, quoting F.F. Bruce, reminds us that “the confession of Christian truth can be cold and unattractive if unaccompanied by the spirit of Christian love.” (p.19). To prove this, he gives a coffee shop conversation with three guys—two of the guys disagree with the others. He shows how the reception of God’s truth can be impacted through the way people speak that truth. Crotts shows how both Jesus and Paul were devoted to proclaiming the truth while preaching it with graciousness.
The second half of the book deals with graciousness in the church and how it should be cultivated. I found it very wise to place the importance of graciousness and its roots in the scripture before giving a list of ways that graciousness ought to be cultivated. The unfolding of how to cultivate graciousness starts with the heart, moves to the mind, extends to action, and is ultimately lived out in community. The final chapter displays the beauty of how the gospel can bring graciousness to the heart as we look at the story of John Newton. Though short, the final chapter really packs a punch! Graciousness ends on such a powerful, practical, and encouraging note!
Reading Graciousness left me feeling convicted and yet encouraged. As I read this book, I was challenged to check myself and see whether graciousness was a part of my life. As I searched myself, I realized that I often speak without graciousness, though I think I’m a gracious person. I’ve realized that I’m often defensive, and instead of speaking about my feelings and my own struggles with the person, I use truth to try to win the battle. I found myself repenting of my lack of graciousness and seeking to cultivate it in everyday conversations. For me, a great book is one that draws readers and listeners to repentance in their everyday lives. Graciousness was that sort of book for me.

I highly recommend this book to any believer, whether they consider themselves gracious or not. Crotts’ small book is a great reminder for even the most gracious of saints. In these days, the importance of tempering the truth with love can’t be overstated. We could all use this teaching in an age where much of our interaction with others happens behind a screen.
I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Cindy Navarro.
190 reviews6 followers
February 13, 2018
Anger and criticism have become the standard response today, especially in a world where one of the major sources of communication is the internet. I often find myself hoping that people who comment on articles and posts would not actually be that abrasive and unforgiving in a face-to-face discussion. I try to temper my responses and believe I am gracious when I comment, but it's not always easy to judge a person's tone and temperament in the written word...especially on hot topic issues. I love to look at all sides of an issue to understand the perspective of others, but, if I hope to remain gracious, I need to back away a bit from overfilling my mind. It did seem perfect timing to receive a chance to review "Graciousness: Tempering Truth With Love" by John Crotts.

The author says that LISTENING with love is one of the first steps in the right direction. I know that I have been guilty of forming my response rather than really listening to what another says. He makes a valid point that we are to THINK before we speak also. While there are certain topics that have an absolute truth, some are more a matter of opinion. Is your need to feel right more important than the chance to have a meaningful conversation? Crotts fills this book with Scripture and practical wisdom to help with the spiritual growth that all of us need. The Body of Christ is built on relationship and community. If we can't treat each other with kindness how can we reach people wandering in spiritual darkness?

The book is small and compact but is well worth the read. And, it shows that we are all flawed at times, but we need to learn how to be gracious after we have been less than gracious in the past. Sometimes there is a need for righteous anger, but we have an example in the Bible about getting angry without sinning. Crotts covers a wide range as he teaches the true meaning of graciousness.

I received a copy of this book via Cross Focused Reviews (A Service of Cross Focused Media, LLC).

"What will it profit a man if he gains his cause and silences his adversary if at the same time, if at the same time he oses that humble, tender frame of spirit in which the Lord delights, and to which the promise of His presence is made?" ~ John Newton
481 reviews12 followers
February 21, 2018
Lots of truth and wisdom in this small book. At only 137 pages
it is an easy and fairly fast read.
Some of the chapters are longer than others. But it is a good and
easy read.
The topics subjects of the chapters are filled with practical application.
Sometimes hard to tell the truth with graciousness. Or speak to others in a gracious manner.
John Crotts has given the reader scripture backing up up stories and examples of how to be more gracious and speak in more of a loving manner when we speak and deal with others.
This was a great book to share with others.
A good book for a church library.

I received a complimentary copy from Cross Focused Reviews
Profile Image for Jerome Bushnell.
99 reviews4 followers
September 4, 2018
Full of biblical wisdom and insight. Offers practical advice on how to be more gracious in our speech.
Profile Image for Blake.
457 reviews21 followers
July 30, 2020
First a Confession: A number of years ago, I was officiating a high school basketball game. It was my third game of the evening. I was tired. The intensity of the game, coupled with my tiredness provided a great atmosphere for me to be exposed to my stinkin, rotten, sinful flesh. Late in the game, one head coach began to comment, yell, nit pick, and verbally poke at whichever official happened to be within ear shot. At one point, he was standing next to me and asked a question that I've been asked hundreds, perhaps thousands of times over the years of officiating. My response was direct. It demonstrated that I had a firm grasp on the rules of the game and why a particular call was made. But what was lacking in my response was graciousness. My response was blunt, oozing with anger, making it clear to the coach that I'd had enough of his antics and frankly, that I didn't want to interact with him. He got the message and headed towards the bench. I may have won the battle, but Christ was not honored in that one short moment of interaction with the coach. You see, being Gracious is an area that I have a long ways to grow in. I try hard. At times, by the grace of God, I succeed. At other times, I'm confronted with the reality of how far I have yet to grow in this area. Perhaps that is why I found John Crotts excellent little book to be a great source of both, encouragement and exhortation. I think it would greatlu encourage you as well to grow in this incredible virtue.

In this book, Crotts develops the idea of graciousness, helping the reader to first understand the desperate need we all have for this one quality. He helps the reader understand why the issue of graciousness is so important. We know we live in a world that is anything but gracious. Yet, for we as people who know Christ, being gracious should characterize how we speak to one another, how we communicate in written form to one another, and how we respond to one another. The honest person will realize quickly how far he/she has to go in becoming characterized by this beautiful characteristic. Crotts points to the perfect example of graciousness, the Lord Jesus Christ, Himself. He is our model. When compared to him, we have a long ways to go. Crotts wisely moves on to providing an example of a person who was a sinner, yet was very gracious. He demonstrates how gracious the Apostle Paul was. It is rare that one points out the graciousness of this hero of the Christian faith, yet over and over in Paul's writings, one can see him extending grace to others.

After highlighting the examples of graciousness, the author turns to address the Ungracious Church. This is where perhaps the reader may find himself being confronted. We are people of extremes. We tend to be either solid in doctrine but void of graciousness, or, we are weak in doctrine yet loaded with graciousness. Oh to have a perfect balance in this some day.

The last part of the book, making up five chapters, Crotts gets very practice giving counsel into how one can cultivate graciousness into his/her life and how the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the key for the believer in being able to develop this absolutely essential characterisitic. These chapters are basic but provide great insight to things that can assist the reader in developing a life of graciousness.

As a whole, I think this short book can be very helpful to one who realizes that he/she needs to grow in being gracious to others. I highly recommend this read.
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
307 reviews
February 10, 2018
"Peacemakers are people who breathe grace to others in the midst of conflict. Since we cannot breathe out what we have not breathed in, this process hinges on our moment-to-moment relationship with God" (Ken Sande as quoted by John Crotts, pg. 68).


Zealous for truth. That's me. Expressing the truth with more zeal than love. Sadly, that is also me at times. This side of heaven, I imagine I will always be able to benefit from some practical methods for cultivating graciousness. That's why I was excited to read John Crotts' latest book, Graciousness: Tempering Truth with Love.

Crotts spends the first half of his book laying a biblical foundation by examining the Bible's commands for Christians to be gracious, setting forth the Lord Jesus and the apostle Paul as positive examples and the church at Ephesus as a cautionary tale of sorts. The second half of the book aims at highlighting practical ways to cultivate graciousness by considering our hearts, the value of others, and our actions, as well as specific suggestions for cultivating graciousness in community.

Graciousness is well written and offers wise counsel. For example, Crotts advises his readers not to merely read books about graciousness but to read biographies about those who exemplify it and adds this beautiful explanation:

"Theoretical kindness provides instruction, but lived kindness adds authenticity and tangibility to principles" (pg. 127).

To that end, Crotts makes excellent reading recommendations. The influence of outstanding works such as Ken Sande's Peacemaker, Paul Tripp's War of Words, David Powlison's Speaking the Truth in Love, and Donald Whitney's Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life (among other titles) can be clearly seen within the pages of Graciousness.

All-in-all, if you are looking for a book that will remind you afresh of the truths of God's Word and the Gospel which will help you to infuse your conversations with graciousness, you will find this to be a worthwhile companion. It is a short, easy read in which Crotts handles Scripture faithfully and is a good, general primer on the subject. Crotts writes: "Raw conviction without gospel hope produces despair" (pg. 130). Readers are likely to find both within the pages of Graciousness.

*Many thanks to Cross Focused Reviews and Reformation Heritage Books for sending me a complimentary copy of Graciousness in exchange for my honest opinion!

Here are some additional excellent books that have helped me cultivate graciousness in specific areas:

o General - Practicing Affirmation by Sam Crabtree (This book does a really great job of practically demonstrating ways that we can affirm others when we are particularly tempted to be critical, especially when it comes to unbelievers with whom we have very little in common and even often find ourselves in disagreement. It has been a number of years since I have read this book, but I can still helpfully recall examples from this book. The illustration that I probably mentally re-visit most frequently is one in which he strikes up a positive conversation with a pro-choice protester while on a pro-life march. It's quite the conversation and wonderfully instructive! For more of my thoughts on this book, you can read my review.)
o Marriage - When Sinners Say, "I Do" by Dave Harvey
o Parenting - Everyday Talk by Jay Younts
Profile Image for Nitoy Gonzales.
447 reviews18 followers
January 30, 2018
Truth be told, Christians has a bad reputation when speaking in truth. We have a tendency to run over everyone whether believers or unbelievers, that crosses our firmly held beliefs. The results are so ugly to look at.

John Crotts latest book takes you upfront that speaking for the truth requires more than zeal but love. “Graciousness” unravels the importance of doing so that is pleasing to everyone and to God. It’s a short book but lots of important aspects of being gracious are discussed. In a 100+ pages of “Graciousness”, the author balances the book for having the first half as setting up the case and the second as cultivating grace in the life of a Christian. For readers it important to have that balance because we want the takeaway part (and that’s why in the first place you pick up this book.)

I have been following Jeff Durbin’s video and I’m really floored on how he is gracious in talking to with unbelievers. Most of us may have spoke to JW or a Mormon and it might be more of an episode WWE than having a friendly conversation. For us being friendly or gracious is a sign of compromise. “Graciousness” begs to differ as it draws examples on how Jesus and the Apostle Paul’s encounters with people and encourage us to do the same.

“Graciousness” is an essential read for people who have been engaging in theological debate to friends who have conflicting views of the Scripture over a cup of coffee. It should be in every apologetics reading list and be read after a long apologetics book. You’ll find refuge here. It’s a much needed stop over before we engage in a theological conversation. An over flowing graciousness is what every believer as you tell the truth that is edifying to everyone and glorifying to God.
My verdict:
5 out of 5
Profile Image for Audra Watts.
85 reviews5 followers
January 27, 2018
https://audrasbookblabbing.wordpress....

Cleanliness: Very Clean (Topics to consider: religion.)

4 stars

“Gentleness doesn’t mean compromising the truth. Rather, it means keeping the truth from being compromised by harshness and insensitivity.”

How many people need to take that quote to heart? This book discusses such an important topic for Christians and non-Christians alike. That quote basically summarizes the entire book. Graciousness in my own words is “The way you say things is almost as important as what you say.”

The whole world would be a better place if everyone would take a moment to think before they speak. It’s a simple concept, but something not many people practice. Think of all the violence that has been spread because of speeches and lectures and tweets and posters and ads and so on where the speaker presented things in a hateful way!

John Crotts’ writing style was fairly easy to read, but (yes, I know the entire book was about graciousness) I got tired of the word gracious. It was in practically every paragraph and annoyed me after a few chapters.

This is my personal opinion, but I also really hate footnotes. There were quite a few throughout. I always prefer a bibliography-type page in the back instead.

I think this was a very thought-provoking read. I definitely didn’t agree with everything he said, but if you like informational, Christian books, this is a good one.



~I recieved a free copy of this book from Reformation Heritage Books for an honest review~
266 reviews8 followers
February 3, 2018
Sometimes my words can get me into trouble. But communicating graciously involves more than just our words. It also involves our tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language.

In his book, Graciousness Tempering Truth With Love, John Crotts addresses the importance and need to effectively communicate in a loving and gracious manner. He asks the question: Why do we need graciousness? Perhaps the simple answer is - to be more like Jesus in His example.

The book is a short read but one to be read slowly to absorb all that should be applied to our lives. He gently and wisely guides us toward cultivating graciousness in our own hearts, in our mind-set towards other, in our actions, and in our communities.

In a time when graciousness is much needed and in short supply, this book is a practical guide and help for us all in our daily conversations with those around us.

** I received this book in exchange for my review from Reformation Heritage Books via Cross Focused Reviews. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Profile Image for MaryAnn Bell.
321 reviews
March 21, 2018
There are times when we have important things to say to other Christians and unbelievers but if we present our message ungraciously, they won’t benefit and our audience may not listen. Author John Crotts shows us that God cares about how we say things and what we say.

So many times we hear that we should treat others as we would want to be treated, this applies to sharing our Christians views and when we share God's word.

This book is full of great instruction and some good It includes a Biblical look at graciousness, with a look at positive examples and commands from not only the Bible but some good hypothetical examples that you may find yourself situated. The author also gives methods for cultivating graciousness in various areas of the Christian life.

The methods taught in this book can be used at any time we have conversations with others, it is full of good wisdom.

The author was easy to follow, full of scripture and the book didn't take long to read.

I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
52 reviews
February 7, 2018
A self-righteous, angry person who is argumentative and lacking graciousness in dealing with others needs this book, but probably won’t be willing read it. Such a person would not think the book relevant. But rip the book in half and hand him chapters 6-10 and the book might just serve him as Nathan the prophet did David when Nathan said: “You are the man!” These last chapters get practical and specific about what graciousness looks like and what behaviors need to change to make one gracious.

I found chapters 1-5 hard to wade through, as I am already convinced that graciousness is required of us. But I absolutely loved the clear, practical, detailed instructions given in chapters 6-10.

This book will well equip you to counsel or confront an ungracious person with tools that will really help. It will encourage you that change is not only required but possible.

I was given a review copy by Cross Focused Reviews in exchange for a fair review.
Profile Image for Bob Morton.
Author 6 books4 followers
March 16, 2018
I was not sure How much I would like this book. I liked the topic but then I read it was by a gentleman from the reformed branch of Christianity. Most of the people who identify themselves as reformed tend to be rigid in their thinking, I was seriously questioning if I could agree with this man at all.

I was pleasantly surprised to find he felt a lot like I did. We may be in the right, but our actions make us in the wrong when it comes to christian actions. The author does not tell us to abandon our beliefs. He tells us to act in love to each other. While this is important to do to all, it is important to the unbeliever as well.

While the author and I will most likely' agree on theology, we can agree that the love walk is important.

I would recommend this book to all Christians as a wake up Call to the way we look to the world when we fight and bicker.

I received an advanced copy of this book. This is an honest review.
Profile Image for Bledar.
Author 1 book8 followers
February 6, 2018
This is a great book about Christian Communication. It teaches how to communicate in a way that is truly Christian and how to develop that time of communication. Graciousness is about communicating with grace.

First, the book defines what "graciousness" is. Then, it exemplifies it with Jesus and Paul. After that, the book warns using the example of the Ephesian Church. Having done the above, finally the book goes on to show how to cultivate graciousness in your heart, in mindset toward others, through your actions and it community as full expression of the gospel.

John Crotts has done a great job with it.
146 reviews2 followers
April 13, 2024
Crotts' Graciousness: Tempering Truth with Love makes the perfect book to be read in a church discussion group or for a husband and wife in the home. My wife and I found this little book to be very helpful in continuing to work on our own communications with each other (even after 58 years of marriage). With over sixty years of church ministry we both have observed that graciousness solves many church problems just as a lack of graciousness creates most church problems. Do yourself, your family, your friends, and your church a favor — read this book and actively pursue graciousness in word and behavior.
Profile Image for John Morgan.
74 reviews3 followers
January 5, 2026
Would recommend reading this book to everyone. Author uses a biblical an understanding of how people change to organize book content and determine chapter content. Provides practical steps for being more gracious. I wish author would have used more examples, varied his examples more, and provided better descriptions in his examples.
18 reviews
January 19, 2023
I decided to read this wonderful little book because I am not gracious, although I have long aspired to be. This book does not pull punches. Painful, but worthwhile. Really, I'm better off for having read it and I am hopeful that those around me will agree.
Author 2 books
April 11, 2020
Very helpful book. Related to the image that young reformed believers go through the 'cage phase'.
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