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256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1992
I, for one, do not wear bikinis. I do not think anyone should, really, especially if they are past thirty. But, in all honesty, my mom looked pretty good – for an over-thirty mother. Maybe I will wear a bikini one day, but only after I actually have a chest. . . . At the rate I’m growing, though, I probably won’t have a chest until I’m, like, twenty-eight, and then there’ll just be a measly two-year window of time in which to find and wear a bikini.