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The Rants
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here
The New York Times called Dennis Miller's The Rants "a pleasing mix of profanity and wit...that will make fans of his irreverent liberal angst laugh out loud." Readers across the nation clearly agreed, because the book stayed on the Times hardcover bestseller list for months, with more than 130,000 copies in print. Now, an even broader audience can discover Miller's stinging wit in paperback.
Dennis Miller respects no boundaries. Whether the subject is dope-addled baseball players who can no longer swing their bats, do-nothing politicians who devote their careers to creating meaningful sound bites, or the nation's resigned acceptance of violence as a way of American life, these thematically arranged monologues are funny and angry. More significantly, they shatter the conventions of comedy by simultaneously making us laugh, think, and seethe.
When Miller takes the stage, the audience demands, "the rants, the rants, the rants." Here is the collection of his invigorating and thought-provoking monologues that showcase his singular point of view.
The New York Times called Dennis Miller's The Rants "a pleasing mix of profanity and wit...that will make fans of his irreverent liberal angst laugh out loud." Readers across the nation clearly agreed, because the book stayed on the Times hardcover bestseller list for months, with more than 130,000 copies in print. Now, an even broader audience can discover Miller's stinging wit in paperback.
Dennis Miller respects no boundaries. Whether the subject is dope-addled baseball players who can no longer swing their bats, do-nothing politicians who devote their careers to creating meaningful sound bites, or the nation's resigned acceptance of violence as a way of American life, these thematically arranged monologues are funny and angry. More significantly, they shatter the conventions of comedy by simultaneously making us laugh, think, and seethe.
When Miller takes the stage, the audience demands, "the rants, the rants, the rants." Here is the collection of his invigorating and thought-provoking monologues that showcase his singular point of view.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1996
23 people are currently reading
492 people want to read
About the author
Dennis Miller
116 books41 followersDennis Miller is an American stand-up comedian, political commentator and sports commentator, and television/radio personality. He rose to fame as a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the late 1980s, and subsequently hosted a string of his own talk shows on HBO, CNBC and in syndication. He currently hosts a daily, three-hour, self-titled talk radio program, nationally syndicated by Westwood One.
In recent years, Miller has become known for his conservative political opinions, emphasizing a hawkish stance on U.S. military action and campaigning for Republican presidential candidates. He is a regular political commentator on Fox News Channel's The O'Reilly Factor in a segment called "Miller Time," and on the network's Hannity & Colmes in a segment called "Real Free Speech."
In recent years, Miller has become known for his conservative political opinions, emphasizing a hawkish stance on U.S. military action and campaigning for Republican presidential candidates. He is a regular political commentator on Fox News Channel's The O'Reilly Factor in a segment called "Miller Time," and on the network's Hannity & Colmes in a segment called "Real Free Speech."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
February 28, 2018
Taking a deep breath to write this review, deep breath...
I actually used to love Dennis Miller. In his own small way, he was the genesis of my political awakening circa the 1992 presidential election, which was roughly the time I started to 'care about things.' Though he was never (scripted to be) all that liberal, I foundhis writers him to be genuinely funny, pragmatic and good natured about all things progressive, and tough as hell on the truly insane behaviors of the far right during the '90s prequel to the Bush Administration's criminality.
I remain quite bitter about his abrupt, ignorant 'turnaround' to neoconservatism after 9/11, which I'm now convinced was just his true colors shining through at last, ugly as they were. It makes it hard to look at The Rants with any kind of nostalgic appreciation. In the sense that these are even 'liberal,' 'witty,' or 'insightful,' (age has shown me they're more like shallow, Devil's Advocate drive-bys on real problems) they're just not as great as I thought they were. Jon Stewart, on his worst night ever, is a thousand times better in his show openers than The Rants will ever be. (Ironically, my first real awareness of Jon Stewart was through a '96 appearance he did on Dennis Miller Live about his decision to quit smoking.)
And even as a rabid, sixteen year old fan, I could see this book was poorly constructed. The Rants themselves are sloppily transcribed, word for word, directly from the version Miller recited on HBO, right down to his arrogant Thank Yous and dramatic pauses for audience applause. I can just see some harried intern typing these up in between classes in night school so the publisher could pay him his $300 and shuffle this thing off to the printer. Come to think of it, that's the pefect way to conceptualize what Dennis Miller is--a cheap, commercial, pseudointellectual facsimile of meaningful discourse. Someone I'm sort of ashamed to have ever liked.
I actually used to love Dennis Miller. In his own small way, he was the genesis of my political awakening circa the 1992 presidential election, which was roughly the time I started to 'care about things.' Though he was never (scripted to be) all that liberal, I found
I remain quite bitter about his abrupt, ignorant 'turnaround' to neoconservatism after 9/11, which I'm now convinced was just his true colors shining through at last, ugly as they were. It makes it hard to look at The Rants with any kind of nostalgic appreciation. In the sense that these are even 'liberal,' 'witty,' or 'insightful,' (age has shown me they're more like shallow, Devil's Advocate drive-bys on real problems) they're just not as great as I thought they were. Jon Stewart, on his worst night ever, is a thousand times better in his show openers than The Rants will ever be. (Ironically, my first real awareness of Jon Stewart was through a '96 appearance he did on Dennis Miller Live about his decision to quit smoking.)
And even as a rabid, sixteen year old fan, I could see this book was poorly constructed. The Rants themselves are sloppily transcribed, word for word, directly from the version Miller recited on HBO, right down to his arrogant Thank Yous and dramatic pauses for audience applause. I can just see some harried intern typing these up in between classes in night school so the publisher could pay him his $300 and shuffle this thing off to the printer. Come to think of it, that's the pefect way to conceptualize what Dennis Miller is--a cheap, commercial, pseudointellectual facsimile of meaningful discourse. Someone I'm sort of ashamed to have ever liked.
June 5, 2015
Review title: Archeological visit to a pre-tweet era
I remember 1996. It wasn't that long ago, but a lot has changed in the 15 years since this collection of Dennis Miller monologues from his HBO TV show.
What has changed most that leaves this printed collection of rants is the immediacy of Facebook and Twitter. Nowadays, as soon as something happens we cram our response into 140 characters and broadcast it out on our social networks without apology or hesitation as to who might read it and how it might sounds. In comparison , Miller's rants are to today's tweets as an illuminated vellum manuscript is to Miller's paperback.
For starters, despite the characters on paper, it is clear these are transcripts of spoken performance in front of an audience. If you read closely, for repeated phrases and sly grins evident in the text, you can tell where the laugh lines were, when Miller waited for a beat, reinforced his joke, and followed (or lead) the audience to a deeper appreciate of his meaning. It’s a subtle thing, but entirely missing from the Facebook/Twitter forms of communication which are purely one way and curiously isolated from an audience despite how quickly they find a response. Facebook/Twitter are rapid-fire monologue, not dialogue of any kind.
Also distinctively archaic is Miller's trademark opening "Now I don't mean to get off on a rant here", while in today's FB/Twitter a rant is exactly what we intend, perhaps because we are not facing an audience, and his equally-expected closing "Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong." Today we know longer apologize or try to disarm the criticisms that might follow from the rant we just posted. We meant it, we said it, offense or none, and besides, 140 characters doesn't leave enough room for apologies. Deal with it.
Miller comes off, against today's social milieu, as well-thought, deep, and almost mannered and gentle, and that is an accomplishment and a measure of just how far (down?) we have come in our social communications in just 15 years. Not that Miller is inoffensive, but rather he is an equal-opportunity offender, who despite his disclaimer, doesn't think he's wrong and usually isn't. At times he's down right prescient. My favorite is his definition of the idea TV reality show participant (before Big Brother, American Idol, The Bachelor, and any of the Kardashian/Osbourne/Anna Nicole/Playboy series):
And while most of us are content to rubberneck the carnage on the berm of the road, too many people are desperately striving to actually be the car wreck, and I'm not sure we should feel compelled to recognize them. (p. 115)
Those were simpler times, then.
I remember 1996. It wasn't that long ago, but a lot has changed in the 15 years since this collection of Dennis Miller monologues from his HBO TV show.
What has changed most that leaves this printed collection of rants is the immediacy of Facebook and Twitter. Nowadays, as soon as something happens we cram our response into 140 characters and broadcast it out on our social networks without apology or hesitation as to who might read it and how it might sounds. In comparison , Miller's rants are to today's tweets as an illuminated vellum manuscript is to Miller's paperback.
For starters, despite the characters on paper, it is clear these are transcripts of spoken performance in front of an audience. If you read closely, for repeated phrases and sly grins evident in the text, you can tell where the laugh lines were, when Miller waited for a beat, reinforced his joke, and followed (or lead) the audience to a deeper appreciate of his meaning. It’s a subtle thing, but entirely missing from the Facebook/Twitter forms of communication which are purely one way and curiously isolated from an audience despite how quickly they find a response. Facebook/Twitter are rapid-fire monologue, not dialogue of any kind.
Also distinctively archaic is Miller's trademark opening "Now I don't mean to get off on a rant here", while in today's FB/Twitter a rant is exactly what we intend, perhaps because we are not facing an audience, and his equally-expected closing "Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong." Today we know longer apologize or try to disarm the criticisms that might follow from the rant we just posted. We meant it, we said it, offense or none, and besides, 140 characters doesn't leave enough room for apologies. Deal with it.
Miller comes off, against today's social milieu, as well-thought, deep, and almost mannered and gentle, and that is an accomplishment and a measure of just how far (down?) we have come in our social communications in just 15 years. Not that Miller is inoffensive, but rather he is an equal-opportunity offender, who despite his disclaimer, doesn't think he's wrong and usually isn't. At times he's down right prescient. My favorite is his definition of the idea TV reality show participant (before Big Brother, American Idol, The Bachelor, and any of the Kardashian/Osbourne/Anna Nicole/Playboy series):
And while most of us are content to rubberneck the carnage on the berm of the road, too many people are desperately striving to actually be the car wreck, and I'm not sure we should feel compelled to recognize them. (p. 115)
Those were simpler times, then.
May 29, 2015
Now I may be wrong
Having seen some of Dennis Miller's performances on cable I knew what I was in for in this book. Well I was right about that. Miller in his rants is fairly hitting the mark. He doesn't blame anyone person for what is wrong in his rants(for lack of a better word) he is just expressing his opinion on the subject. Some may see it that he is an opinionated asshole ( his favorite turn of phrase) while may see him as the speaker of absolute truth. I don't agree with him on everything in this book but I did laugh at his take on things. If you can come away from this book with some food for thought then you have gotten the point he is making everybody has an opinion. I enjoyed this book a great deal simply because it was not a complete I have all the answers book. If you want to get a different point of view on some interesting topics then give this one a look you just might be surprised. Now I may be wrong but who knows.
Having seen some of Dennis Miller's performances on cable I knew what I was in for in this book. Well I was right about that. Miller in his rants is fairly hitting the mark. He doesn't blame anyone person for what is wrong in his rants(for lack of a better word) he is just expressing his opinion on the subject. Some may see it that he is an opinionated asshole ( his favorite turn of phrase) while may see him as the speaker of absolute truth. I don't agree with him on everything in this book but I did laugh at his take on things. If you can come away from this book with some food for thought then you have gotten the point he is making everybody has an opinion. I enjoyed this book a great deal simply because it was not a complete I have all the answers book. If you want to get a different point of view on some interesting topics then give this one a look you just might be surprised. Now I may be wrong but who knows.
July 4, 2008
book was good; however due to his career changes since writing the book and increase in general pussy behavior I am taking away a star... sorry Dennis you're moving down to a "2"
April 15, 2014
Dennis Miller is a funny guy, grating and pompous to be sure, but lobbing his brand of irreverent humor around to keep his fans amused. After reading his book, “The Rants,” I tend to think he’s funnier in person than as a writer. Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
The problem I have with his book is the tendency to throw out names that draw a blank with me. I don’t know who some of his foils are. I get the comedic reference when I recognize the name, and the humor is there, but if I don’t know who he’s talking about, the joke falls as flat as Barney Fife’s abs. (That was a Millerism.)
Miller rants on a wide variety of subjects. Forty three topics are listed in the Contents section, almost anything that could be considered controversial. Fortunately the chapters are short or the book would be longer than the Robertson’s beards (another Millerism). But it is an easy read if you don’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out who he’s talking about a lot of the time. And funny: It really is.
I particularly enjoy his lists; what women want from men, suggestions for moving into the twenty-first century (the book was copyrighted in 1996), recommendations to save the planet, and what men want from women. Some of the topics are rather dated but others will be debated forever. If someone was to sit down and list the things that tick them off, Miller has probably hit on it.
Although Miller can be irreverent in some of his comments, he is surprisingly pragmatic about things like abortion, sexual harassment, gay rights, racial relations, and other topics seemingly made for snide rejoinders. So he obviously puts some thought into his views before he applies the skewer. I enjoyed the book very much.
The problem I have with his book is the tendency to throw out names that draw a blank with me. I don’t know who some of his foils are. I get the comedic reference when I recognize the name, and the humor is there, but if I don’t know who he’s talking about, the joke falls as flat as Barney Fife’s abs. (That was a Millerism.)
Miller rants on a wide variety of subjects. Forty three topics are listed in the Contents section, almost anything that could be considered controversial. Fortunately the chapters are short or the book would be longer than the Robertson’s beards (another Millerism). But it is an easy read if you don’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out who he’s talking about a lot of the time. And funny: It really is.
I particularly enjoy his lists; what women want from men, suggestions for moving into the twenty-first century (the book was copyrighted in 1996), recommendations to save the planet, and what men want from women. Some of the topics are rather dated but others will be debated forever. If someone was to sit down and list the things that tick them off, Miller has probably hit on it.
Although Miller can be irreverent in some of his comments, he is surprisingly pragmatic about things like abortion, sexual harassment, gay rights, racial relations, and other topics seemingly made for snide rejoinders. So he obviously puts some thought into his views before he applies the skewer. I enjoyed the book very much.
March 5, 2013
Books by comedians are always a guessing game. Are they going to be funny? Insightful? Inspiring? For probably 95% of the books by a stand-up comedian that are published, they are usually just funny (for the most part) and are a working script for their stand-up acts with some filler. In Dennis Miller’s The Rants we get a lot of his stand-up material and most of that from his HBO days. The book is broken up into 43 specific rants dealing with topics that range from “Women in Hollywood” to “Informercials” and “Contemporary Sports” all lasting around 4 to 6 pages and within those pages are separate paragraphs full of Miller’s signature smart wit and high-brow wisdom. The book’s only downside is that it dates itself with references to the OJ trial (still going on at the time) and Bill Clinton’s first term as president but for those of us that are old enough to remember a smidgeon of details about that mid-1990’s era, the jokes do work somewhat but they tend make one smile more than laugh out loud. While his time on Monday Night Football goes unappreciated by most, Miller’s humor is full of somewhat obscure references but usually grounded in some sort of popular culture context that most can appreciate and having it in print form does seem to allow one a bit more time to absorb his smart ass rants. Highly recommended for those looking to see what smart comedy is really like though I believe that Miller has gotten better with age and would love to see something new from him now.
June 23, 2024
Keep in mind that the Dennis Miller of the 1990s was a much different comic than he is today. Too bad he didn't take his own advice. My review for the audiobook on cassettes (remember cassettes?) originally appeared on Amazon.com back in 1997:
Should be required listening for all potential teachers, parents, right-wing Christians and politicians. Heck, it should be required listening for existing teachers, parents, right-wing Christians and politicians anyway, so let's just strap them down and pump up the volume! Makes you really revel in the fantasy of making Pat Buchanan's brain explode like one of those androids that kidnapped Mudd in Star Trek because he couldn't handle the intake of actual human logic. I would also love to see a college course or town hall meeting on the topics discussed in The Rants--although humor comes first here, there is an underlying plea for sanity and hope that Americans will get off their collective rumps and think for themselves instead of paying someone else to do it. Definitely invest in the tapes rather than the book because Miller's tone of voice will not only clue you in to what he means but no one can quite say the f-word like him and STILL sound like Plato's stepchild accepting a Nobel Prize.
Should be required listening for all potential teachers, parents, right-wing Christians and politicians. Heck, it should be required listening for existing teachers, parents, right-wing Christians and politicians anyway, so let's just strap them down and pump up the volume! Makes you really revel in the fantasy of making Pat Buchanan's brain explode like one of those androids that kidnapped Mudd in Star Trek because he couldn't handle the intake of actual human logic. I would also love to see a college course or town hall meeting on the topics discussed in The Rants--although humor comes first here, there is an underlying plea for sanity and hope that Americans will get off their collective rumps and think for themselves instead of paying someone else to do it. Definitely invest in the tapes rather than the book because Miller's tone of voice will not only clue you in to what he means but no one can quite say the f-word like him and STILL sound like Plato's stepchild accepting a Nobel Prize.
September 16, 2013
The wonderful accordion player comes bouncing out to tumultuous applause and the room erupts to yet a higher peak of sound and fury. The wonderful accordion player dances and capers madly about the whole room, playing and singing familiar standards, pausing only to wipe the sweat from behind his steaming glasses.
The wonderful accordion player's face is aglow with happiness and the crowd enthusiastically accompanies every song; singing, clapping, dancing, and just plain yelling! There is a brilliant display of interpretive dance and the announcement of The Rants' birthday brings a fresh explosion into the room. All around, there is ceaseless laughter, and the constant roar of shouted conversations. People are at the tables, on the tables, and under the tables!
Even the wonderful accordion player noted that it was a wonderful party!
The wonderful accordion player's face is aglow with happiness and the crowd enthusiastically accompanies every song; singing, clapping, dancing, and just plain yelling! There is a brilliant display of interpretive dance and the announcement of The Rants' birthday brings a fresh explosion into the room. All around, there is ceaseless laughter, and the constant roar of shouted conversations. People are at the tables, on the tables, and under the tables!
Even the wonderful accordion player noted that it was a wonderful party!
November 16, 2008
I like Dennis Miller. I think that he is very funny in a smart kind of way. The tirades that he goes on are near genius, and I agree alot with what he says. My issues with this particular book was how he said it. I listened to the audio version of this book, and found myself distinctly uncomfortable with his liberal use of the "f" word. When reading a book with a sprinkling of this word can be somewhat overlooked, but hearing it spoken loudly and frequently I just couldn't overlook it. I felt that I was being repeatedly slapped in the face. I did not finish the book, and will not read the others in this series. I didn't mean to get off on a rant, and "this is just my opinion, I could be wrong!"
May 2, 2015
Despite his constant potty mouth, I've always found Dennis Miller funny, and this book was no exception. Also, despite his potty mouth, he has a stellar vocabulary. I love having to look up words! This book is 20 years old, so it's a relic in many ways (jokes about the Menendez brothers, O. J. Simpson, Loreena Bobbitt, etc.). It was pre-9/11, and pre-Columbine... We were so much more innocent then. The most depressing thing about this book is that so many of the problems Dennis Miller gripes about and warns about, are not fixed. In fact, they're so much worse. I laughed, but I was sad too. Haven't we learned anything in 20 years???
December 8, 2015
I really want to give this book a 2.5 star rating but since I can't do that, 3 it is. I like Dennis Miller. I think he's hilarious. However, I'm much more of a fan of his post 90s humor. The book unfortunately feels very dated. It's not because the references are old, Miller always uses obscure references. The book feels dated partly because of some of the topics (see Airport Security), and also because Miller's politics have changed over the years, and this feels like a very young, and slightly unaware Miller. However, he was spot on with some topics, and even the ones he's changed his opinion on garnered some laughter occasionally.
March 28, 2012
Dennis Miller's humor relies heavily on references to current events and pop culture. This book is 15 years old, so it's no surprise that some of the material is outdated and a few of the names he drops have faded into obscurity, meaning you have no hope of getting the joke now. The vast majority of the rants remain spot on though. Apparently, the more things change, the more they stay the same. We are still dealing with some of these stupid, crazy issues all these years later and that's a bit frustrating... it almost makes me want to go on a rant!
December 27, 2010
In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm a huge Dennis Miller fan. The transcripts from his famous "rants" contained in this book require that you have both a thesaurus at-hand and a healthy knowledge of pop culture or Dennis' snarkiness will make a whooshing noise as it travels over your head at the speed of light and splatters on the wall behind you. I could do with the f-bomb leitmotif but that is what my filter is for.
June 1, 2012
I loved Dennis Miller. He was one of my favorite comedians. Then he became an all but paid for spokesman for the GOP and he was more sad than funny. I'm not bashing the Republicans, as I can't stand far left comedians any more than the far right. I think when anyone starts pushing their political agenda over bringing the funny they are just not that funny. Still, I miss the old Dennis Miller. I want him back.
March 8, 2014
once upon a time Dennis Miller was pretty funny, insightful, acerbic, and if not liberal then at least sane. this is a collection of those 'rants' from his HBO show from the 90s, and back then I was a fan of his stuff as a teenager (the Iraq war changed him for the worse and its been ten years since I've heard any of his stuff, let alone this book). looking back some of it was snide but there was a lot of good stuff so it gets this rating.
June 15, 2010
Just happened to pick this up the other day, and even though it was published in 1996 - dating MANY of the jokes - the points Miller makes are still quite valid. In fact, he accurately predicted a number of trends in the pop political culture, making me wonder if we shouldn't have listened to him a bit more seriously.
January 8, 2016
At the time, I found this witty and insightful. Looking back, it's hard to remember why. Maybe it's that Miller has become so annoyingly conservative and so Glen Beck-ish in his certainty that he is right while everyone else is wrong. Maybe it's that I was 19 or 20 at the time and knew far less than I know now.
January 26, 2011
I'll confess that I was probably the only fan of Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football. I got all his obscure references and it made me feel really smart. Much of this book is now dated and 90-ish, but he still makes some very good points about discrimination, gay rights, parenting, common sense and the like.
June 27, 2013
A fun gem I found at the Book Nook. These are from the HBO series Dennis did in 1994, so the material is dated, but I can still remember 1994. It makes a great book for the bathroom as each piece follows the important editorial rule for bathroom reading material. He just tickles my brain. I often wish I had an electronic device with me so I can Google some of the obscure references.
April 30, 2007
I love Miller's rants. These are collected from his HBO show Dennis Miller Live. And they're funny--IF you like Dennis and his "referencia obscura" schtick. If not, then this book is probably not for you.
October 17, 2007
Funny book. I first heard this book in a college English class. It was funny and seemed like something that would be a good read. It makes you think about your own views on politics and the world we live in.
December 16, 2008
i used to like dennis miller a lot. now though, i think he's just a crank. the thing is, i think that he's probably always just been a crank....you watch an old snl and tell me different.....plus, he's waaaaaaay too smug with himself...
January 4, 2009
I liked Miller when he was on SNL and when he had his own HBO show... not so much now that he's a commercial-filming conservative sellout. I haven't gone back and read these in a few years, so I'm not sure if I still like them or not. But I found them funny at the time.
April 8, 2010
I friend of mine gave this to me when we were in college and I about pissed myself laughing. Yes, the rants that are in this book, at the time were what was going on.. and were spot on from what I remember.
August 10, 2012
I was always a big fan of Dennis Miller's show and looked forward to the rant every week. I still laughed reading through all of these but was a bit disappointed to find that they were all rants he had done on the show - nothing new.
September 2, 2015
Definitely dated, though it becomes more evergreen after a few topical opening chapters. What surprised me the most was to learn what one American was complaining about twenty years ago, as the source and direction of those complaints doggedly persists in today's social and political landscape.
December 26, 2016
Dennis Miller has his own particular style of ranting with his own particular humor. It's one of the few books by a humorist where he/she comes just as funny off the written page as they do on stage. The book was too short!
June 3, 2007
shut up, dennis miller.
August 14, 2007
funny funny funny
July 29, 2016
Re-read January 2002.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews