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Making Love: Sexual Love the Divine Way
Making Sexual Love the Divine Way is a book about the mistakes we've all made in confusing love with sex. (Also available as an Audio Book.) It contains Barry Long's essential tantric teaching on how to rediscover the true union of man and woman. Barry Long attacks male sexuality as a corruption of love on this planet and claims that most unhappiness arises because we have forgotten how to make love rightly. He restores the place of romance and gives couples very practical advice on how to change their sexual behaviours so that they can realign their love for each other with the love of God. Widely recognised as a ground-breaking work, the book is frequently quoted as a source of inspiration by other teachers and therapists in this field. It has been translated into nine languages and when well- placed in the bookstore becomes a best-seller - because the title says it all.
109 pages, Paperback
First published April 15, 1996
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 10, 2022
It’s supposed to be guide for conscious sex, which i am wanting to learn more about. His “how to” parts were somewhat helpful, but I was not a fan of his explanation of why we should practice it and commentary on the topic. He came across a dogmatic, arrogant and judgmental, and was really hard on men, talking about them in a way I didn’t find constructive. The author also made a lot of claims without providing details or explanations to back them up or at least make his point clearer.
A few of his points felt dangerous, and his narrative didn’t leave room for my experience as an asexual.
Claims I took issue with: masturbation is selfish, clitoral stimulation is inferior to vaginal bc its one way men have tricked women into buying into their overstimulation game, the religious celibates of old were selfish by not practicing making love to help evolve the world(confused and misguided certainly to shame sex, but selfish?!) if a woman says she will make love and time had been set aside to do so she should keep her commitment even if she is not feeling it.
It was certainly a perspective on sex hadn’t considered before, but not one that sits well with me. I may have to try another take on conscious sex as I think the concept has merit, but the packaging was problematic with this one.
A few of his points felt dangerous, and his narrative didn’t leave room for my experience as an asexual.
Claims I took issue with: masturbation is selfish, clitoral stimulation is inferior to vaginal bc its one way men have tricked women into buying into their overstimulation game, the religious celibates of old were selfish by not practicing making love to help evolve the world(confused and misguided certainly to shame sex, but selfish?!) if a woman says she will make love and time had been set aside to do so she should keep her commitment even if she is not feeling it.
It was certainly a perspective on sex hadn’t considered before, but not one that sits well with me. I may have to try another take on conscious sex as I think the concept has merit, but the packaging was problematic with this one.
May 4, 2021
I don't know how to rate this book - so much of it is beyond ridiculous but... .there are some underlying concepts that I think are pertinent....... and the comedic value it has afforded me has to count for something, right?! Barry would probably say that my indecisiveness is due to some blockage in my vagina or too many emotional penises that have infected me with their excitable energies...... LOL LOL LOL
December 5, 2016
After finishing Making Movies, I’ve decided that I like titles that begin with Making, so now we’re reading Making Love (it’s only logical, you see). Do not ask me how I found this book. My skill at finding books is better than yours will ever be.
That being said, it seems like Barry Long is Orin Incandenza in the flesh, as far as make-believe people are concerned; Fernando Pessoa is more like his brother Hal. See? I’m doing comparative literature! Right? What do you mean B-, that’s an outrage, I’m going to see the dean immediately.
For those of you who don’t know, Orin Incandenza is a character in the novel Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace who punts pigskins and fucks women. Lots of women. With Orin Wallace plays a classic author trick called character development; the boy begins infatuated with lust, but as he gets older, transforms into an erotic aesthete, becoming increasingly indifferent to his own pleasure and increasingly obsessed with maximizing the pleasure of his partners through ancient techniques like those of Hindu Tantra.
What’s that? Spoiler tags? Stop screaming, if anything I’ve just convinced you to read Infinite Jest, which, that’s right, you damn well should.
As far as this book is concerned… to euphemize, it’s not my cup of tea (read using RP accent). Par for the self-described “spiritual guru” course, with not a single sentence backed by empirical evidence and littered with dogma, this should be taken with, to not euphemize, an ocean’s worth of salt.
If you’ve ever tried eating spoonful after spoonful of sodium chloride, well, you know it’s not a pleasant experience. Maybe you were a kid (didn’t know better), or you did it on a dare (preserve reputation), or tried to go viral on YouTube (acquire fame) or something. Nevertheless, consider that in this case you would prefer continuing to shove salt in your mouth to eating what’s buried underneath. How’s that for a thought experiment?
Since you’re curious, and because I know how it feels to possess the curiosity known as unsatisfied curiosity, I will give you a small sample of what’s buried underneath. A brief preface is in order: remember that a small contingent of the population somehow enjoys hákarl, surströmming, mayonnaise, and other such “foods.” Bastards, the lot of them. Albeit this doesn’t approach coprophagia, cannibalism, or, god forbid, necrophagia (in which case you might prefer an ocean’s worth of Marmite), brace yourselves regardless.
I could go on with these line-by-line rebukes and we’d all have a jolly good time, but I’ve become bored and want something else to read. That second star, by the way, is neither decorative nor a salve for my reticence. Barry Long did have significant, um, experience in this domain, for what it’s worth, and yes, dear reader, I do have the prescience to recognize it’s not my place to judge hákarl-mongers. Perhaps if your relationship is falling apart, a good dose of reality-suspension is exactly what you need to spice it right back up to the top!
That being said, it seems like Barry Long is Orin Incandenza in the flesh, as far as make-believe people are concerned; Fernando Pessoa is more like his brother Hal. See? I’m doing comparative literature! Right? What do you mean B-, that’s an outrage, I’m going to see the dean immediately.
For those of you who don’t know, Orin Incandenza is a character in the novel Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace who punts pigskins and fucks women. Lots of women. With Orin Wallace plays a classic author trick called character development; the boy begins infatuated with lust, but as he gets older, transforms into an erotic aesthete, becoming increasingly indifferent to his own pleasure and increasingly obsessed with maximizing the pleasure of his partners through ancient techniques like those of Hindu Tantra.
What’s that? Spoiler tags? Stop screaming, if anything I’ve just convinced you to read Infinite Jest, which, that’s right, you damn well should.
As far as this book is concerned… to euphemize, it’s not my cup of tea (read using RP accent). Par for the self-described “spiritual guru” course, with not a single sentence backed by empirical evidence and littered with dogma, this should be taken with, to not euphemize, an ocean’s worth of salt.
If you’ve ever tried eating spoonful after spoonful of sodium chloride, well, you know it’s not a pleasant experience. Maybe you were a kid (didn’t know better), or you did it on a dare (preserve reputation), or tried to go viral on YouTube (acquire fame) or something. Nevertheless, consider that in this case you would prefer continuing to shove salt in your mouth to eating what’s buried underneath. How’s that for a thought experiment?
Since you’re curious, and because I know how it feels to possess the curiosity known as unsatisfied curiosity, I will give you a small sample of what’s buried underneath. A brief preface is in order: remember that a small contingent of the population somehow enjoys hákarl, surströmming, mayonnaise, and other such “foods.” Bastards, the lot of them. Albeit this doesn’t approach coprophagia, cannibalism, or, god forbid, necrophagia (in which case you might prefer an ocean’s worth of Marmite), brace yourselves regardless.
“Woman has learned to make love through man who does not know how to make love. Since time began she has been manipulated and encouraged to feel that the finest expression of her love is to please men sexually. The truth is the other way round. The finest expression of love is to have man delight her sexually.”Orin would agree with this, and many Real Humans might prefer for this to be the case, but contemporary opponents of gender normativity – if they have an ounce of ethics – will realize upon reading the last two lines that Long is merely playing the other side of a false dialectic; agree with them at your peril.
“The cause of most of the unhappiness on earth is that man and woman have actually forgotten how to make physical love. This is the greatest tragedy of all time.”What about the Holocaust? Nanking massacre? Manifest destiny? The goddamn CRUSADES? Ask yourself: does this person actually believe the words he’s written? Because, if he does, you know he’s off his rocker. You don’t want to be taking advice from someone who’s off his rocker now, do you? Didn’t your folks ever teach you not to talk to strangers?
“To make love in this new way both you and your partner must be committed to take the necessary steps. Both of you should read this book, and preferably read it out loud together, at least in the beginning. Don’t think that reading it once or twice is enough.”By reading this until it plays like a broken record in your head, or even better, until you can recite it word-for-word even though you don’t have an eidetic memory, your brain will be thoroughly, as it were, washed, and as a result your sex life will explode into new dimensions! Mind you, a cult of people trying to sex better is infinitely better than a cult of people who kill themselves by drinking cyanide-laced Kool-Aid (where did you think that phrase came from?), but as a proponent of free thinking, I can’t endorse the idea of cults; consequentialism is bad, the ends do not justify the means; et cetera, et cetera~
I could go on with these line-by-line rebukes and we’d all have a jolly good time, but I’ve become bored and want something else to read. That second star, by the way, is neither decorative nor a salve for my reticence. Barry Long did have significant, um, experience in this domain, for what it’s worth, and yes, dear reader, I do have the prescience to recognize it’s not my place to judge hákarl-mongers. Perhaps if your relationship is falling apart, a good dose of reality-suspension is exactly what you need to spice it right back up to the top!
July 20, 2020
Mike up when reading this book and I heard her clearly "Fuck you Barry Long" it should be this and that, and full of judgements.
January 31, 2023
I've been through the audiobook for this 2-3 times, and my reaction to this remains mixed. I'll deliver the good, bad and ugly. On the good side, the overall message of being more mindful and present while engaging in sex with a partner is great. The pointing out that distractions, imagination and uncontrolled fantasies generally denigrate one's experience of 'making love' seem to be in the right direction. The advice to remain in one's body and actually feel the sensations happening during the act is also very helpful and on track with his overall teachings on mindfulness and love (being the unconditional type that happens between two people). Being open in communication and setting aside time to "make love" is also a helpful idea and practice. On the bad side, those without a partner (or that have an intention to have a permanent partner) are left in the dark, and left needy because of BL's idea that 'making love' in a monogamous relationship is the end-all and be-all of love (at least in this book/audio). Masturbation is given a bad rap, especially for females, and males get a slight concession provided it's kept on a certain level and using certain types of material. There's also a large amount of 'faith' needed in BL's words here regarding the reasons for 'making love' and how it evolved historically.. all myth of course, but may be useful for some. The ugly- everyone not in a hetero-monogamous relationship is going to feel either left out or damaged goods here. There's so no room for positive, or creative type imagination, as he classes everything with thought as 'bad'. Males keep getting demonised because of their uncontrolled 'energies' that according to Baz end up wreaking havoc on the world and infecting the brains of females. The section at the end about oral sex is pure weirdness, and likely from Barry's own imaginative brain. Monastics are given a bad rap for being selfish, and there's no concession given for those who have no interest in the sexual act- and yes, some of the human race just have no interest in it and are certainly not deficient or selfish in any way. There's some overall weirdness in the material that I can't quite put my finger on, and BL doesn't acknowledge any of his sources (which is usual for his work). There's no discussion about the use of sexuality in tantra and esoteric traditions etc., which go far beyond some of the quaint ideas in this work. Overally, there's some really good bits here n there, but it's one of Barry's more mixed up pieces of work, and may not be useful for everyone (unlike some of his other audios/books that deal more with self-knowledge, and can be applied by anyone).
January 9, 2021
Svårt att bara sätta ett betyg på denna bok, så det blir ett medeltal...
Sexuell kärlek som meditation, vägen till medvetenhet i nuet, berättas mytiskt som kroppsligt sensoriskt, vilket går att ta till sig på. Men detta har helt och fullt ett andligt mål i sikte.
Men med alltför kategoriska påståenden, som naturligtvis stämmer med Berry Longs livssyn, men som inte kan tillämpas på oss alla. Alltifrån könstillhörighet och annat som ger en patriarkalt stel bild. Men man måste minnas att första upplagan utgavs 1984, även om texten reviderades 1995. Och sedan dess har världen utvecklats snabbare och snabbare.
Min synvinkel idag är att vi är energivarelser, vi har själ. Vi kommer inte till jorden för att bli andliga. Vi föds för att uppleva livet fysiskt. Glädjas och njuta. Och även om Barry Long antagligen menar att hans övningar får oss att förankra gudomlig kärlek via kroppen - så är ordet kärlek oerhört missförstått.
Kärlek är livsenergin, som håller hela universum samman. Vi behöver inte en terapi där vi underordnar oss någon annan. Kärlek är att älska sig själv, och det är svårt nog. Missförstå inte att Barry Long trycker på att allt handlar om att älska utan själviskhet. Att älska sig själv är inte detsamma som själviskhet.
Men lyckas vi älska oss själva, utan själviskhet - dvs utan krav på andra, utan bara genom att ge oss själva det vi mest behöver, utan att anpassa oss till andra - då blir världen så mycket bättre.
Sexuell kärlek som meditation, vägen till medvetenhet i nuet, berättas mytiskt som kroppsligt sensoriskt, vilket går att ta till sig på. Men detta har helt och fullt ett andligt mål i sikte.
Men med alltför kategoriska påståenden, som naturligtvis stämmer med Berry Longs livssyn, men som inte kan tillämpas på oss alla. Alltifrån könstillhörighet och annat som ger en patriarkalt stel bild. Men man måste minnas att första upplagan utgavs 1984, även om texten reviderades 1995. Och sedan dess har världen utvecklats snabbare och snabbare.
Min synvinkel idag är att vi är energivarelser, vi har själ. Vi kommer inte till jorden för att bli andliga. Vi föds för att uppleva livet fysiskt. Glädjas och njuta. Och även om Barry Long antagligen menar att hans övningar får oss att förankra gudomlig kärlek via kroppen - så är ordet kärlek oerhört missförstått.
Kärlek är livsenergin, som håller hela universum samman. Vi behöver inte en terapi där vi underordnar oss någon annan. Kärlek är att älska sig själv, och det är svårt nog. Missförstå inte att Barry Long trycker på att allt handlar om att älska utan själviskhet. Att älska sig själv är inte detsamma som själviskhet.
Men lyckas vi älska oss själva, utan själviskhet - dvs utan krav på andra, utan bara genom att ge oss själva det vi mest behöver, utan att anpassa oss till andra - då blir världen så mycket bättre.
January 16, 2022
Main message of this book is to see and experience sex, which is sacred, with your full attention and consciousness. Sex is not a trade but a loving act.
Having consciously sex with each other, by being present, respectful and admiration.
Having consciously sex with each other, by being present, respectful and admiration.
February 10, 2023
The book is rather strange - it speaks about something common-place - sex and love-making but does it in a somewhat spiritual way.
It has a lot of food for thought and enough practical steps to take on a path toward a more spiritually satisfactory sex life.
It has a lot of food for thought and enough practical steps to take on a path toward a more spiritually satisfactory sex life.
June 21, 2024
Helped during a devastating time
January 26, 2019
A new way of looking at lovemaking. #sexgoals
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews