Heal And Forgive: Forgiveness In The Face Of Abuse

by Nancy Richards, Marie M. Fortune

Heal and Forgive presents a first-hand description of child abuse and navigates the reader through the distinctive stumbling blocks encountered by adult survivors of abuse who are attempting to forgive. This thought-provoking illustration offers new hope to those who have given up at the prospect of forgiving. Many survivors of abuse long to forgive their abusers; however, many common approaches to forgiveness are not appropriate for situations involving abuse. This work demonstrates to the survivor the additional steps necessary to achieve forgiveness in the face of abuse. Surprisingly, it is often the very process of not forgiving, of acknowledging the pain, and taking the steps to heal that frees the abused to forgive. This book clearly points to the need to validate their story with a sympathetic listener, express their anger in appropriate ways, mourn for their losses, and protect themselves and others from re-injury. Further, this work explains to the individual that forgiveness does not mean excusing. No one needs to forgive the acts perpetrated against them in order to let go of resentment and forgive the being who harmed them. Forgiveness is not an event of immediacy. It's not a bolt of lightning that brightens the soul and burns the pain to ashes. Forgiveness is a process that is transformational. When all is said and done, the final process is an act of love.

127 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2005

Reviews

[Liaken · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nancy Richards shows remarkable courage in telling her story and her journey to heal first, forgive second. The premise of her argument is that rather than trying to force some kind of forgiveness, instead the focus ought to be on healing, and then the forgiveness will come on its own, and at the right and true time.

By the end of this book, she has pretty much been cut off from her entire family, but she is finally finding peace. It's a hard place to leave her. Happily, there is a second book: Heal and Forgive II, which continues her journey to heal.

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short read and I totally relate to what she is talking about. I had different circumstances but was abused physically from the time I was 3 until I left home at 17. It is not so easy to get over and her ideas validate a lot of the things I have learned in my own process.

[Hettel Rana · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING!