Ask Dr. Mueller: The Writings of Cookie Mueller

by Cookie Mueller, Amy Scholder (Editor)

Ask Dr. Mueller captures the glamour and grittiness of Cookie Mueller?s life and times. Here are previously unpublished stories - wacky as they are enlightening - along with favorites from Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black and other publications. Also the best of Cookie?s art columns from Details magazine, and the funniest of her advice columns from the East Village Eye, on everything from homeopathic medicine to how to cut your cocaine with a healthy substance. This collection is as much an autobiography as it is a map of downtown New York in the early ?80s - that moment before Bright Lights, Big City, before the art world exploded, before New York changed into a yuppie metropolis, while it still had a glimmer of bohemian life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Essays, Queer, Short Stories, Humor, New York

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

"Cookie Mueller was a writer, a mother, an outlaw, an actress, a fashion designer, a go-go dancer, a witch-doctor, an art-hag, and above all, a goddess. Boy, do I miss that girl." -John Waters

Reviews

[izzy strazzabosco · Rating 5 out of 5]

my favorite writer! so sad its not available in print, i had to go to the NYU special archives and fill out a ton of paperwork to read a copy in-library. BUT IT WAS WORTH IT. cookie is smart, funny, weird, and most of all an amazing writer. hopefully someday i'll own my own copy...

[Vicky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cookie said her stories are novels for people with short attention spans. I suppose. I was super engaged with everything she wrote. I would keep reading if it were never-ending. I love her playing Robin Hood at the men's fashion store where she worked at 18, collecting debts from people and feeling awful for it and hating her slimy boss. Stealing a big spruce tree from the neighbor's front yard in the night for Christmas and replanting a baby spruce the next night with friends <3. The trilogy of trying to recover from a broken heart and finding it in the part of Italy where no tourists want to go.

"Another Boring Day" was so not boring of course, the way Cookie begins her day in line at the bank, nearly stepping into poop that was dropped by the old lady in front of her, thinking of that the rest of the day (aging, losing control of your bowels), running into a friend on the train who she hadn't seen in a long time who looks spiffy except for the garbage bag he forgot to throw out and accidentally brought with him on the train (aging, losing track of your mind), running late in a cab to a magazine office to collect her check, later getting locked in a Chinese restaurant LOL, going home in a cab and sitting on this fat wallet secretly thinking of all the ways she'd spend the money (this long cab ride dream) and finding out it's an address/date book :(

I know one should read Cookie's health advice column with some distance (like some of them are very—), but still, they are great; she's authoritative and sincere and hilarious. I want to respond to questions like this. I was glad there were clippings about regulating periods, collagen, and removing assholes, haha.

Feeling protective of this book.

[Daniel Levesque · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cookie, Cookie Cookie. Oh, girl, we miss you. But you are here, in this book, for everyone to fall in love with.

[Phil Overeem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marvelous. If you know who she is, it is a must, but good luck finding even a paperback cheap. A truly sharp and hilarious and humane writer.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am currently this book - it was recommended to me by a friend. I had no idea who Cookie Mueller is but I do now! And I really love her. I wish she was still here because I can read her stories and advice columns and art reivews all day. She is a force to be reckon with.

[Julie Stout]

There is a cute story about how far you have to go in the name of art or insanity to be in a John Waters film. This chick is pretty funny.

[jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

collected essays, journal entries, letters, personal papers, interviews, john waters, cookie mueller, dreamlanders, freaks, baltimore, drug use, sex workers, 1960s, 1970s, drugs, storytelling

[Dave Naz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. Cookie was an amazing person and an underrated writer.

[Geoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good work and writing, I prefer her stories to her journalism work. Surprisingly, I also prefer her (mostly) non-fiction work to the brief fiction enclosed from Frank Letters. I had no idea that one wasn't also a collection of true stories as well. I'm not on board with a lot of her health recommendations or psuedo-medical care, especially encouraging people (AIDs victims) not to go to a doctor. It was a different time though, and I just hope that people did/do what actually works for them and heals them, whatever that may entail. Natural remedies aren't always phony.

[Navah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of book you kiss when you finish. I felt like I made a new friend reading this book. Cookie’s life is bound to excite even the least excitable, and her charm and wit are front and center. She is also just an incredible writer; if you (like me) are thinking about reading this as a John Waters fan, you will read the first story and turn into a bigger Cookie Mueller fan. I’ll miss this book.

[gnarlyhiker · Rating 5 out of 5]

laughed till it hurt

[Rich Engel · Rating 4 out of 5]

really fun, funny and well written, semi-autobiographical essays and memoir.

[Sal · Rating 5 out of 5]

lovely! Much was included already in mueller's "Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black" but the back is filled with newspaper columns from Dr.Mueller. Silly girl!

[julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

8/10

[libby · Rating 5 out of 5]

an inspiration

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first two-thirds of the book were an easy read/airport novel (or whatever you call it); a real page turner! I like that the chapters were really small too, it made it easy to put down, but also easy to keep going because I didn't get bogged down knowing I had a lot to read. Once the book got up to the columns I basically lost interest. I think it would have been better to disperse the columns throughout the book. They were funny, but not so great to read in one sitting. It dragged on and I ended up skipping quite a few. Everything after that felt hard to absorb.

At the beginning, it was just like meeting some really interesting person and listening to all their interesting stories and advice. I don't know that she's the sort of person who is iconic enough to be a role model or be particularly inspired by, but it was good to read about someone who was just living life to have fun and didn't necessarily have particular ambitions or pretences.

If you need a book to read on a train, or on the beach, or on lunch breaks I'd highly recommend this.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cookie is the coolest girl you've never met. Her gun shot essays make you want to wear high heels and go to Italy while at the same time visit friends in hospitals and raise children. Pure AND accessible glamor. You will feel better about everything you've ever done. Cookie was invincible and, in reading her, you'll start to wonder if maybe you are too. The truest and most genuine of writers, even in hyperbole.

[Caty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE COOKIE! What else can I say? I'm using the word bohemian a lot today, so I'll use it again--1 of the last bohemians. I mean, she was the kind of girl who was one of Nan Goldin's photo subjects--more like *that* than the *other* photo subjects. Read it. Read it, read it, read it. W/intro by a faintly disapproving straightedge yet totally adoring John Waters.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

You don't have to be a John Waters fan to appreciate this delightful book of essays, but it helps. Cookie was a colorful character, and that comes through loud and clear in her gifted writing. Some of her stories are too outrageous to be believed, but you'll be laughing so hard you won't care. Find this book by any means necessary and read it.

[Sean Feeney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hysterical and insightful. I dutifully returned my library copy and later learned it's worth over $100. Fortunately, all the content plus additional material has been recently published as Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black. I got my copy, I'd say if you're reading this you'll want yours too.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

so great. loved all the hilarious and tender stories about life. and of course, highlights from her 1980s health advice column! i wonder, can salt water really bring someone back from a heroin overdose?

[Alia Bruce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crazy stories from a very uninhibited lady. She starred in John Waters films, had a run in with the Manson Family on Haight St. in the 60's, was at a party hosted by Basquiat in New York, and the list goes on. I was thoroughly entertained.

[Lesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

i had a blast reading this. there are so many crazy different things that she did in her life, how could she not have some crazy amazing stories to go with? her column writing giving various advices was sort of dry and obviously perhaps not always the best advices, but overall i was sucked in.

[Freya Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cookie Mueller is my hero. I love this book and wish I still had a copy.

[Jeremy]

I love Cookie. Tons of crazy, well written short stories.

[lola · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extended canon.

[Barb Elliott · Rating 4 out of 5]

She's like the friend that exasperates you but you secretly envy for her full on approach to life. I miss her and I never even knew her.

[Nicole]

Love it so far!

[Laurel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fix it with brewer's yeast.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Cookie Mueller so much. Her writing and stories make me feel like I've lost a dear friend. But first they make me laugh. Cookie brought a lot of sparkle into the world.