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The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth
Sex education materials meant to explain important basics to kids are too-often not written with an empathic understanding of what those basics are. This is particularly obvious regarding books that include LGBTQ identities. Even when they do hit the mark, many have a limited scope and don't take into account the practical realities of developing sexuality. The Pride Guide is written explicitly for the almost ten percent of teenagers who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or any of the unique identities that are not heterosexual/ cisgendered. It explores sex, dating, relationships, puberty, and both physical and online safety in one resource. The issue, today, is not whether or not queer youth will get sex education. The issue is how and where they will gather information and whether or not the information they gather with be applicable, unreliable, or exploitative. Equipping teens and their families with knowledge and self-confidence, this work provides the best protection against the unfortunate consequences that sometimes accompany growing up with an alternative gender or identity. With real-world information presented in a factual and humorous way, responsible adults can teach queer youth to (and how to) protect themselves, to find resources, to explore who they are, and to interact with the world around them while being true to themselves and respectful of others. Written with these issues in mind, The Pride Guide covers universal topics that apply to everyone, such as values clarification, digital citizenship, responsibility, information regarding abstinence as well as indulgence, and an understanding of the consequences and results of both action and inaction. For LGBTQ youth, this is a resource containing information on the unique issues queer youth face regarding what puberty looks like (particularly for trans youth), dating skills and violence, activism, personal safety, and above all, pride. Parents and other supportive adults who are motivated to educate themselves and who are interested in gaining some tools and skills around making these necessary conversations less uncomfortable and more effective will benefit from this book. The go-to resource for making informed decisions, The Pride Guide is indispensable for teens, parents, educators, and others hoping to support the safe journey of LGBTQ teens on their journey of discovery.
363 pages, Hardcover
Published June 1, 2018
28 people are currently reading
448 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
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March 24, 2019informative
September 18, 2018
An queer inclusive sex ed book that's good for teens and their families. It covers the queer spectrum, dating, intimate violence, transition, being inclusive, minority stress, coming out, being supportive, dealing with unsupportive friends and family, religion, online safety, and so much more. I've never read a book so complete with all the shit I needed as a teenager/co-ed.
I can't speak to every chapter, but the chapters on asexuality and minority stress were spot on. I've read a review that pointed to a number of medical inaccuracies re: transition surgery and OBGYN procedures in appointments in the book.
I can't speak to every chapter, but the chapters on asexuality and minority stress were spot on. I've read a review that pointed to a number of medical inaccuracies re: transition surgery and OBGYN procedures in appointments in the book.
December 13, 2018
The book is supposed to be for adults and teens. However, especially with teenagers being one group of readers, it could be that the book sometimes lacks a more affirmative approach, making it clear that being queer is something positive. So, I guess I wanted to see (far) more of the ‘you are ok’ messages, and sometimes a less clinical sounding kind of language. Due to the at times rather dry language I imagine that some teens might put the book away after a short while, which they shouldn’t, because for the most part the book is rather good and helpful. 4 out of 5 stars
June 8, 2023
Informative read for LGBTQ youth and their families! Good “primer” for those who want to learn more about gender identity or have someone in their lives who are part of the community. Loved how direct and honest the writing is.
November 6, 2023
Our library system received this book. While this is an adult book, it is written as if young adults (around 14 or older) could pick this up incidentally and learn. Hundred percent recommend this book for parents, along with any public or school library system that needs to update their LGBTQ+ dating materials for teens.
June 12, 2021
Actual rating: 4.5 stars
This book is a great resource for LGBTQ+ youth and their parents. It’s well-researched, full of interesting background information, and written in a way that’s both professional and entertaining / engaging. It’s not only about sex but also about relationships, and it contains a few parent-specific chapters to help the entire family. What I like about this book is that the author tries very hard to use inclusive language (e.g. “someone’s menstrual cycle” rather than “women’s menstrual cycle”). It’s nuanced and encouraging, it addresses the reality of LGBTQ+ kids’ struggles in an honest, constructive, and encouraging way, and it explains current terminology in an easy-to-understand way while also explaining why certain terms are considered outdated.
Some things in the book, however, should be taken with a grain of salt:
- There are some small inaccuracies (e.g. in the description of gynecological exams).
- some information is mildly to moderately outdated (trans people get a lot of attention,as do bi people, but non-binary people and pan people do not. When the author talks about people using they/them pronouns, he seems to focus on intersex people).
- although almost all of the book is phrased very carefully, two things really bothered me: at one point, the parents of trans children are advised to respect their kid’s “choice” — as if the kid could simply unchoose to be trans. In the section on sexual abuse, the author writes that any sexualized behavior between children and adults is sexual abuse, which is true, but which also disregards the experience of prepubescent children victimized by young people who have already hit puberty. Why was it so important to specify “adults” here? It makes no sense, and it’s potentially harmful because it might make child sexual abuse survivors abused by teenagers feel like their experience wasn’t “really” abuse because the perpetrator was a young person.
- some of it is clearly written by a cis dude, e.g. when lgbtq+ kids are told to “smile” at school. Given the fact that the rest of the book contains amazingly nuanced and well-thought-out advice, I don’t think this is a big deal. But as a woman whose smile is constantly commented on, it irked me. I don’t owe anyone any particular facial expression. Period.
- some of the advice is subjective (e.g. the author endorsing Dan Savage’s stance that a child’s adults get one year to basically be ignorant before they’re held accountable for the harm their behavior is doing). Thankfully, this recommendation of a “grace period” is coupled with very reasonable and healthy advice to help parents be supportive and to process their complicated feelings OUTSIDE the home, in counseling, rather than with their children. Nevertheless, I don’t think it’s fair to ask kids to grin and bear ignorance and bigotry for an entire year. A year is a really long time for a kid/teenager, and while I fully understand that parents might need time to process their child’s coming out, I don’t think sustained displays of unsupportive behavior should be legitimized in any way, particularly since studies have shown that one of the key factors in lgbtq+ suicide prevention is a supportive home.
Nevertheless, I’d recommend this book to lgbtq+ youth and their families, simply because it’s one of the most supportive and comprehensive I’ve ever come across. It also has the advantage of discussing issues related to life as a lgbtq+ person in general, not just the sexual or even kinky aspects of that.
This book is a great resource for LGBTQ+ youth and their parents. It’s well-researched, full of interesting background information, and written in a way that’s both professional and entertaining / engaging. It’s not only about sex but also about relationships, and it contains a few parent-specific chapters to help the entire family. What I like about this book is that the author tries very hard to use inclusive language (e.g. “someone’s menstrual cycle” rather than “women’s menstrual cycle”). It’s nuanced and encouraging, it addresses the reality of LGBTQ+ kids’ struggles in an honest, constructive, and encouraging way, and it explains current terminology in an easy-to-understand way while also explaining why certain terms are considered outdated.
Some things in the book, however, should be taken with a grain of salt:
- There are some small inaccuracies (e.g. in the description of gynecological exams).
- some information is mildly to moderately outdated (trans people get a lot of attention,as do bi people, but non-binary people and pan people do not. When the author talks about people using they/them pronouns, he seems to focus on intersex people).
- although almost all of the book is phrased very carefully, two things really bothered me: at one point, the parents of trans children are advised to respect their kid’s “choice” — as if the kid could simply unchoose to be trans. In the section on sexual abuse, the author writes that any sexualized behavior between children and adults is sexual abuse, which is true, but which also disregards the experience of prepubescent children victimized by young people who have already hit puberty. Why was it so important to specify “adults” here? It makes no sense, and it’s potentially harmful because it might make child sexual abuse survivors abused by teenagers feel like their experience wasn’t “really” abuse because the perpetrator was a young person.
- some of it is clearly written by a cis dude, e.g. when lgbtq+ kids are told to “smile” at school. Given the fact that the rest of the book contains amazingly nuanced and well-thought-out advice, I don’t think this is a big deal. But as a woman whose smile is constantly commented on, it irked me. I don’t owe anyone any particular facial expression. Period.
- some of the advice is subjective (e.g. the author endorsing Dan Savage’s stance that a child’s adults get one year to basically be ignorant before they’re held accountable for the harm their behavior is doing). Thankfully, this recommendation of a “grace period” is coupled with very reasonable and healthy advice to help parents be supportive and to process their complicated feelings OUTSIDE the home, in counseling, rather than with their children. Nevertheless, I don’t think it’s fair to ask kids to grin and bear ignorance and bigotry for an entire year. A year is a really long time for a kid/teenager, and while I fully understand that parents might need time to process their child’s coming out, I don’t think sustained displays of unsupportive behavior should be legitimized in any way, particularly since studies have shown that one of the key factors in lgbtq+ suicide prevention is a supportive home.
Nevertheless, I’d recommend this book to lgbtq+ youth and their families, simply because it’s one of the most supportive and comprehensive I’ve ever come across. It also has the advantage of discussing issues related to life as a lgbtq+ person in general, not just the sexual or even kinky aspects of that.
May 21, 2022
The Pride Guide was and still is a useful guide for those looking to learn more about the lgbtq+ community, as hinted in the name. It gives information ranging from puberty to how to support yourself or others who are going through changes or coping methods. Personally, I wouldn’t feel the need to use this book unless I get introduced to a terminology I didn’t know about beforehand, but I believe it’s a good reference point for those who don’t know anything about the lgbtq+ community. The author still cracks a few jokes here and there, like when they debunked myths about periods in chapter 3 and listed ideal preparations for safe sex in chapter 22 – “wear the condom that fits your privates, not your ego.” Even if someone interested in the book doesn’t need help learning about the community, the glossary is still plenty useful for finding certain definitions. Overall, it may not be perfect, but it’s a very well-rounded book that covers just about anything that could be on the mind of mature youths.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 4, 2023
Jo Langford writes a thorough and important book to support health education for LGBTQIA+ young people and their families. Specific resources for LGBTQIA+ people, like this book, are incredibly important to communicate essential health information that may be missed in contexts that are primarily informed by a cis/heteronormative framework.
Most of the information in this book is accurate, useful, and accessibly communicate, especially given an intended audience of young adults. As a social worker myself, I did find several instances throughout the book lacking in strengths-based language, which I would expect careful attention to from an author who is also a mental health professional.
Overall, a good resource and I hope to see many more books like this, including updated versions, to communicate to and meet the needs of LGBTQIA+ young people and their families.
Most of the information in this book is accurate, useful, and accessibly communicate, especially given an intended audience of young adults. As a social worker myself, I did find several instances throughout the book lacking in strengths-based language, which I would expect careful attention to from an author who is also a mental health professional.
Overall, a good resource and I hope to see many more books like this, including updated versions, to communicate to and meet the needs of LGBTQIA+ young people and their families.
November 6, 2018
I like how straightforward it is but I do disagree with some things.
He lectures about Poz shaming but then grudgingly admits that it's perfectly reasonable to not want to have sex with someone who is HIV positive because you know, reasons.
He's got a weird hangup about not dating anyone two years younger/older than you, which is silly.
He's also very out of touch with social media. I twitch anytime I get the lecture that you don't want to "offend" anyone, especially a potential employer or college admissions officer. My argument is if they're spying on you do you REALLY want to be part of such a backwards organization?
He lectures about Poz shaming but then grudgingly admits that it's perfectly reasonable to not want to have sex with someone who is HIV positive because you know, reasons.
He's got a weird hangup about not dating anyone two years younger/older than you, which is silly.
He's also very out of touch with social media. I twitch anytime I get the lecture that you don't want to "offend" anyone, especially a potential employer or college admissions officer. My argument is if they're spying on you do you REALLY want to be part of such a backwards organization?
June 20, 2024
It’s one of the more inclusive such guides out there, but I hope a second edition comes out, and that it’s edited by non-binary/Black/disabled folks. There is a lot of binary language in here that’s frankly just awful editing (things like “having worked with both boys and girls” and “jack/jill off” despite the introduction about the book being inclusive of all genders) and the identity terminology as well as the puberty timelines are not race-inclusive. It probably should have a lot more information focused on neurodiversity and disability as well, given the huge percentage of queer youth who are neurodivergent.
November 26, 2018
Although it does contain some good information, it promotes some bad ideas like the concept of bisexual privilege.
And telling kids/teens that missionary sex is boring will always be a bad take. You can talk about other sexual positions/activities without teaching young people that they will be teased for doing/enjoying these "less advanced" sex acts.
I would still recommend this book to young people wanting to learn about safer sex and LGBT sexual health because it is a good starting point on many topics, but take it with a grain of salt and consult other sources as well.
And telling kids/teens that missionary sex is boring will always be a bad take. You can talk about other sexual positions/activities without teaching young people that they will be teased for doing/enjoying these "less advanced" sex acts.
I would still recommend this book to young people wanting to learn about safer sex and LGBT sexual health because it is a good starting point on many topics, but take it with a grain of salt and consult other sources as well.
November 24, 2018
This book should hopefully be in every middle and high school library, as well as public libraries. The language is a bit trendy and will probably seem dated quickly, but the resources and information are excellent.
Much food for thought, and lots of resources to help people digest it. A young person could read this book and have many questions answered, especially if they don't have anyone to turn to for good advice. An adult/parent also would find answers and advice.
Much food for thought, and lots of resources to help people digest it. A young person could read this book and have many questions answered, especially if they don't have anyone to turn to for good advice. An adult/parent also would find answers and advice.
October 26, 2018
10/10 much needed resource on sexual health for queer teens. Needs pictures but those would likely age the material after a few years. Nicely organized with a broad range of topics -- even a section for parents! The titles, headers, and bolded terms make for easy browsing.
August 21, 2020
Ok so *technically* I didn’t finish the book but I just didn’t read the last section because it was for parents and I was tired of the book. It’s a good source of information, but I think the author spent way too much time on sex in it.
August 15, 2018
A very helpful and informative guide for children, young adults and their families.
July 7, 2020
Clear facts about all kinds of sexuality, great for teens just learning about everything, and for adults that are unclear on what everything means.
July 26, 2020
As School House Rock taught me, knowledge is power. The more I understand the better support I hope to be for my students. This guide made me think, laugh and learn.
October 28, 2020
A nice sexual health intro for all teens & parents of teens!
March 10, 2021
i mean, yeah good job Mr.Langford.
October 26, 2022
Great for young people!
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November 18, 2022No rating because I read this book because there was a request to remove it from my library.
November 27, 2022
Great guide for both LGBTQIA+ youth and those who want to be educated as well.
August 23, 2023
This is a good book, but there are better guides to lgbtq people :)
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews