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304 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 8, 2018
I also can't stand this assumption that I must've hated myself back then. Like, I must be sooo relieved not to be that persona anymore. Yes, sure, I hated the way people treated me when I was bigger, but I didn't hate my body. I don't understand how people like Petra think fat-shaming my pervious self - the person I lived as for about twenty-six years - will make me feel good. It just makes me feel humiliated and sad to hear how much they didn't like my previous body. How much more they prefer this version of me. It makes me look at my life before in a different way, like I was wrong and broken. And now that I've 'rectified' myself, I will be finally be allowed out into mixed society.
And I hate knowing that I'll carry this knowledge with me if I put the weight back on. Which is, y'know, statistically pretty likely.