Dissonance!
I don’t often write a single-star review, so when I do, I try to explain to readers what prompted such a bad rating. The sloppiness with which this book appears to have been written merits such an explanation.
I received this book free from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review. Written by D. K. Hood, and published by Bookouture, an imprint of StoryFire Ltd., London, U.K. in 2017, the book appears to have a definite British/Australian flavor. After reading only a few pages, I developed the distinct opinion that this novel was not very well written. The choices of words by the author is often grating, the dialogue generally is stilted and not believable, and many of the assertions are just plain wrong. I believe that the author failed to adequately research this story, which is set in Montana in the present day. I found the entire story to be unrealistic. I thought, perhaps, it was meant to be YA or juvenile fiction, but at least one scene in the book was sufficiently explicit to dissuade me of that notion.
The story is about two former federal agents who are in some sort of witness protection program, having both gone through plastic surgery and a complete identity change. The first of these is Jenna Alton, who has become the sheriff of Black Rock Falls, Montana, where she has served for two years. The second is David Kane, who arrives in Black Rock Falls as the story begins. He is to serve as Sheriff Alton’s Chief Deputy. At least two people have gone missing, and the sheriff is run off the road by a mysterious dark Ford pickup truck in a hit-and-run incident. Deputy Kane sees the Ford, and hears the collision. He is first on the scene to render aid to the sheriff, who is still buckled into her upside down police car. This sets the stage for the intrigue, crime, and murders that ensue.
Logical inconsistencies abound. On Deputy Kane’s very first day on the job, he already has business cards, and he is handing them out to everybody he meets. Perhaps the sheriff had them pre-printed, but this is never explained to us. On the science fiction side, in Chapter Four the author would like us to believe that Deputy Kane can convert a diamond stud earring (which is largely transparent because diamonds refract light) into a hidden panic alarm system capable of calling him on his cell phone. That’s just fantasy, IMO. Does anybody really believe that a battery with enough power to dial and initiate a cell phone call, and small enough to be hidden in a diamond stud earring, has ever been developed — or even could be? (Assuming that the required electronic circuitry could be sufficiently miniaturized to fit into a diamond stud earring, which it might not.)
At the end of Chapter Five, Hood tells us that Kane carries a “Zig nine-one-one backup pistol.” There is no such thing. Zig, a Turkish firearms manufacturer, makes a semi-automatic pistol called the “Zig 1911 Pistol,” but it appears to be more suitable for use as a primary weapon, rather than a backup, because it has a five inch barrel and comes chambered in .45 ACP caliber ammunition. We have been told that Kane’s primary weapon is a Glock 22, which is a .40 caliber weapon with a 4½ inch barrel, so why would the backup weapon be even bigger, and more powerful, than the primary weapon? It makes no sense. Another gun inconsistency in the book is the assertion that Deputy Kane is creeping through the snow “straining to listen for another gunshot. He would have a millisecond to react . . .” Umm . . . Nope! Rifle bullets travel faster than the speed of sound. If he was shot, he would never hear the gunshot before the bullet struck him. Another gun inconsistency is that Kane “slid a bullet into the chamber” of his Glock before putting it back into his holster. Why wouldn’t there already have been a cartridge in the chamber? If not, why carry a Glock? Cops have to rack the slides of their handguns before using them only in poorly made TV shows and movies, and in poorly managed law enforcement agencies. The notion is very unrealistic, in my view.
Early in Chapter Six, the author implies that Montana might be in the “Upper Midwest.” Most Americans would probably tell you that Montana is a part of the West, and not the Midwest. A little research could have told the author this.
At location 2509 in the Kindle format version of the novel, we learn that a body was found “In the root cellar behind the bunk beds.” But earlier (at location 2331) we had been told that the root cellar was in the barn, and not in the bunk house. Later, we learn that the deputies have put “cartons of milk and cream packed in snow on the kitchen windowsill.” We know it is outside of the window because Kane has to lift the window to access it. Never mind that, if it is as cold in Black Rock Falls, Montana as the author would like us to believe it is, then milk and cream would freeze rather quickly if left outside on a window sill.
Continuing, at location 2747 Deputy Kane inspects a bunk house at a long-abandoned ranch and has “no doubt someone had used the shower.” Never mind that there was no electricity to pump the water, no heat to prevent the water pipes from freezing, and no heat to prevent the person taking the shower from being frostbitten, or worse, by very cold water. No emergency backup generator was used by the perps, and the power was definitely disconnected, as we learn at location 3381 where we are told that the ranch has water (in the ground?), “and it only needs reconnection to the [electrical] grid.” And at location 2720, we are told that the bunkhouse “was built to store preserves and protect from twisters . . .” However, it is pretty clear that the story is set in the mountainous area of Western Montana, where the likelihood of seeing a twister (tornado) is practically zero. Perhaps some Montanans would build tornado shelters, but that would more likely be in the flatter Eastern part of Montana. Also, we are told that “bugs and seeds” are found on a dead body in mid-Winter Montana. Most insects are dormant in the winter, and would not be active on a dead body.
About half-way through the book, we are told that Kane visits Miller’s Garage, where he is greeted by a “blast of heat” as he comes in from the cold. But then, in spite of the heat, he “pulled on his glove.” Why would he don his gloves while drinking coffee in a warm garage, and do so before he even begins his interview with potential witnesses?
Sheriff Alton asserts that the cameras in small town ATMs are “useless” because the photographs they take are “grainy.” Never mind that there are a limited number of manufacturers of such machines, and all of the cameras are pretty much the same. She assumes that, because they are located in smaller towns, the machines are somehow different. Actually the machines are available for purchase by any financial institution or business. Most of them take pretty good photos.
At another point in the story, we are told that a suspect tells Deputy Kane that “I own a Chrysler pickup.” Never mind that Chrysler never made a pickup truck. Dodge (now RAM) made (and still makes) pickup trucks. Plymouth made pickup trucks from 1937 to 1941, and from 1974 to 1983, but not Chrysler. In fact, Dodge Ram pickup trucks have been popular in the US for many years, and are still made today under the name “Ram.” I think most Americans would probably be aware of this. If the book was written for British and Australian readers, then it is misleading.
Throughout the story, we are told about how members of a local ice hockey team called the “Larks” might be suspects. (What self-respecting hockey team would name itself after a lark? A Penguin, a Thrasher, or a Mighty Duck, maybe, but not a Lark. ☺ ) Anyway, one suspect tells the deputy that [he] “went to the Larks ground and dumped my stuff in the bin.” Ground? Ice hockey is not played on a “ground.” Perhaps she meant to say “rink.”
The book is rife with British/Australian terminology. Hood constantly refers to Sheriff Alton and Deputy Kane’s former superiors as “commanders.” This might be proper terminology in the U.K. or Australia, but not in the United States. She also exclusively uses the British word “enquiries,” instead of the American word “inquiries.” She mixes the words “vacation” and “holiday.” Americans do not refer to their vacations as holidays, which are something different in the US. What Americans would refer to as “cubicles” in an office are regularly referred to by the author as “booths.” Not in the US, they aren’t. The characters in the book constantly drop “notes” on the table to pay for their food in restaurants. Most Americans would probably say “bills,” as in one-dollar bill, five-dollar bill, twenty dollar bill, etc. We tend not to call them “bank notes” in the US. The author also refers to what an American might call Scotch tape, duct tape or packing tape as “sticky tape.” It is not clear what kind of tape she is referring to, or why it might be found in the office of a motel.
We know that both the sheriff and her new deputy have blue eyes. The knowledge is constantly reinforced by the words “blue gaze,” like: “Her blue gaze moved over him.” Talk about inappropriate adjectives . . . At location 1449, we are told that the sheriff is sipping her coffee and sighing in “contentment.” This, while she is on her way to the scene of a gory murder. “Contentment” appears to be an ill-fitting word choice. And at location 3010, we are told that “Kane rubbed the back of his neck and his gaze raked her face.” Raked? Couldn’t she find a better word? The cognitive dissonance generated by this novel is more than I have experienced in years. In some places it is positively jarring.
Sheriff Alton is not a very appealing character. For one thing, she is incredibly stupid. There’s nothing like a stupid law enforcement protagonist to stir the affections of crime readers, eh? After bemoaning the fact that her deputies treat her as a woman first, and as the sheriff second, she blabs about her secret earring panic button to the other deputies in her office. So naturally the bad guys find out about it and are able to take it away from her. Duh! Even her new deputy, Kane, is “Dumbfounded.” She also fails to follow up on a telephone number scrawled on a bill in a victim’s possession. This turned out to be a very important clue that was completely overlooked by our sheriff. Finally, Sheriff Alton tells us: “I feel like an incompetent fool.” Well, duh! Do you think? She makes one stupid decision after another that would cost most sheriffs in most American towns their jobs. Yet, the author seems to believe that this is an attractive trait.
It is glaringly obvious to me, as it should be to most readers, that writing a good novel takes a tremendous amount of work, meticulous research, numerous re-writes, and careful editing. Good authors are highly skilled professionals. I saw little evidence of such efforts in this book. Besides, the whole notion that two former federal agents, both hiding under the auspices of some sort of witness protection program, should be placed by the authorities into the same small sheriff’s department in the same small town in Montana is ludicrous. It wouldn’t happen. The author should abandon this story line and try to find a different one. How about a crime thriller set in Australia? Maybe Americans, Brits and Aussies might all like something like that. Feel free to skip this book. I wish I had.