7 Secrets of the Newborn: Secrets and (Happy) Surprises of the First Year

by Robert C. Hamilton

From the pediatrician who became an Internet sensation with the “Hamilton Hold” in a YouTube
video about how to calm a crying baby, comes a one-of-a-kind resource to guide you through the earliest moments of your child’s life―and help you to parent with common sense and confidence.

Robert C. Hamilton, M.D., has spent more than three decades caring for newborns. In his practice, Dr. Bob has seen it all―what works, what doesn’t. How can you get your baby to nurse, sleep, and maybe even cease crying? What strategies can help you connect and communicate with your infant? What important decisions will you make during the first year for your child, yourself, and your partner? Here, Dr. Bob shares his clear, sensible, warm advice―as well as all the latest scientific data and research―on how

• Offer comfort to a crying newborn using the “Hold”
• Gently teach your baby how to sleep (and get some sleep yourself)
• Establish healthy patterns
• Breastfeed, formula-feed, or bottle-feed using either
• Play!
• Manage screen time in your home
• And more to help you navigate the unforgettable first year of your child’s life.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Medicine, Adult, Audiobook, Childrens

336 pages, Hardcover

Published September 4, 2018

About the author

Dr. Robert C. Hamilton is a pediatrician is the owner and founder of Pacific Ocean Pediatrics, established in 1996 in Santa Monica, California. Dr. Hamilton is also the creator of the "Hamilton Hold," a method for soothing crying babies seen by over 27 million people in his instructional video on YouTube. In addition, Dr. Bob runs the LA Marathon annually to support his medical mission organization, which has been making annual trips to Africa and Central America for the past 25 years. He's also the proud father of 6 children and is grandpa to 7 more little ones. He lives in Santa Monica with his highschool sweetheart, Leslie, to whom he has been married 45 years.

Reviews

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

First off: major props to Dr. Hamilton for the Hamilton hold. Very useful, I highly recommend watching a video online to learn it. As far as this books go, I recommend to pass on it in favor of other pregnancy/birth books. I do appreciate that Hamilton is very into people having babies, and he does a great job of helping you get excited about it, but compared to What to Expect, Expecting Better, and Happiest Baby (my go-to pregnancy/birth/baby triad) it didn't really do much for me.

I had just finished patting myself on the back for deciding to take 12 weeks of paternity leave to take care of and bond with my new baby, until I read this book, and he recommends a full year at home with your baby! And then we get to the portion on putting your baby in daycare, which already has me on level 11 anxiety, and he spouts off some research detailing how detrimental it is to have your baby in under-stimulating daycare for over 20 hours a week. I would have liked more advice on what to do if your financial/career circumstances necessitate daycare and how to ameliorate the effects.

This book will make you excited for your new baby, but a bit unrealistic for many people, and might send your anxiety over the edge. Also, religious talk and heteronormativity are not my bag.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished this one in two sleepless nights in the month before birth. I appreciated the compact timeline and basic advice for the first year of life. I'd recommend this for parents who only have time to read one starter book before kiddo arrives.

There were some judgments that annoyed me, for example "a hospital birth is the only safe birth." It's also clear that author is religious, but I found his biblical analogies and quotes well-meaning and fairly inclusive.

[Daniella Martelli · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t normally write book reviews and it feels a little strange to give an educational book a one star rating but I really took issue with the tone of this book, as it is unlike any others I have read during my pregnancy.

I did appreciate when the author spoke about his personal experience working with first time parents and their babies as a paediatrician and that is what I was expecting for the entirety of the book.
However, I was surprised with how heavily he touched on subjects such as ‘the important role that faith and religion play in raising a child’ and ‘the importance of the baby being raised by a mom and dad’ and ‘our role as members of society to procreate’.

In my opinion, when looking at the book there were no indications that these undertones would be present in the writing and I was expecting more information about developmental milestones and how to navigate those first months post birth from a medical professional’s standpoint.

I believe other readers would be surprised and potentially offended by the themes in this book as well. This is why I felt compelled to write a review so that if unlike myself, they check the reviews first, they will know it may not be the right choice for them.

[Alana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had never heard of Dr. Hamilton, but my husband's workplace was doing a video interview with him just after our son was born and they needed a very young infant to demonstrate the "Hamilton hold" in the video. They were offering free lunch, and as brand new parents to a two-week old, we figured, why not? My thoughts before the video: Yeah, right; there is no "magic hold" to quiet a squalling child, because if there was, some mom or midwife would have discovered it millennia ago, not some man in the 21st century. There was a delay in the filming, so I ended up having to feed my son right beforehand, instead of him being a little squirmy for better demonstration, so he was full and content and not probably the best example of the upset infant that Dr. Hamilton needed for his demonstration, but we did the filming, Dr. Hamilton gave us a copy of his book (I didn't even know he'd written one, we just knew to show up for the taping), and we enjoyed a nice quiet lunch with him and a producer. He turned out to be a very nice man who we enjoyed talking to, and I was intrigued enough to crack open the book when I got home (hey, any information and new parents can get is welcome!) Oh, and the jury is somewhat out on the "hold;" it is helpful, but not foolproof. But he talks about that in the book so better to let him explain all that.

Anyway, on to the book itself: Dr. Hamilton's goal is to take some of the scary out of the whole parenting process, as many people are waiting until later in life to start families, or are choosing not to start them at all. He discusses everything from the financial concerns to the "takes a village" and what basic needs a baby really has. He has a very balanced approach of some very holistic thoughts, with also a good working knowledge and use of modern medical understanding and techniques, both for pregnancy and birth, as well as for the months and years afterwards. He gave scientific examples in layman's terms, but without dumbing it down in a condescending way. Then he ties it in with the practical, day-to-day that parents really care about.

It was an unexpectedly pleasant, informative read that I found helpful as a new parent. Currently working on getting my husband to read it and get his thoughts, now that we're finally coming out of some of the initial fog of newborn-land, since our son is approaching seven weeks old.

[elyse · Rating 2 out of 5]

I normally don't write reviews, but I feel like it's important to share some of my reflections on this book because there weren't any "red flags" when I decided to buy it.

I'll just get right to the point-- this book has the same basic information that any other parenting book out there contains, but it also makes a lot of very strong presumptions that you are straight, cisgender, financially comfortable, are in a healthy relationship, have a healthy relationship with your own family, and have a job with parental leave.

Hamilton makes frequent cases for:
1) Why everyone should have a baby even if they don't want one
2) "Why babies need a mom and a dad" (there's an entire chapter devoted to this; nowhere is it ever qualified that "mom and dad" could be substituted with other roles or acknowledged that single motherhood could be a preferable option or even the only option)
3) Mothers should try to take "at least" 6 months of maternity leave

More minor issues: the book also quotes Jordan Peterson (twice) and frequently explains reproductive biology by saying "God designed it this way." (I personally don't have a problem with anyone's voicing of benign religious beliefs, but I do find it jarring to go from a discussion of hormone signaling pathways to "because God said so" within the space of a few paragraphs.)

To Hamilton's credit, I think he makes a relatable and non-threatening case for vaccinating your children that doesn't veer into the "if you don't understand science you're stupid" argument that, to me, just feels alienating and mean.

If nothing I wrote above bothers you, my review is not for you. Go ahead and read this book-- it's fine. My review is for fellow parents-to-be who are uncomfortable taking advice from someone who clearly believes that a family with a mom and a dad who have middle class jobs is the only family worth discussing.

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had started reading this before my child was born almost a year ago and then a couple days ago picked it up off the shelf to read the final couple chapters so I can say I finished it and turn it back into the library.

This book contains advice I’d already seen many times before (such as sleep when the baby sleeps) but some of his advice comes across as tone deaf. Take a year off when the baby is born because they need their mama sooo badly? Yeah, someone help me emigrate to a country that cares about working mothers or pay my bills for me and I’ll get right on that. And thanks for reminding me that I didn’t get that privilege. More young people need to have children because the economy? Yeah, because stagnant wages, obscenely expensive childcare, the awful housing market, lack of affordable healthcare, etc. are not any kind of deterrents for people.

[Elisabeth Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m going to say 3.5 stars? It was just fine, nothing too groundbreaking. I really appreciated Hamilton’s emphasis that having babies is a good and wonderful thing—there is so much cultural fear and negativity surrounding parenthood that his insistence that babies are delightful was refreshing. He had some good common-sense advice, coming from a Christian worldview perspective.

I wish that he would have included foot- or endnotes; while he used a number of quotations and referenced different studies, they weren’t actually cited, which disappoints me.

Overall, a fine read that did help quiet some of the crazy nerves I have about parenting a newborn.

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a very go-with-the-flow attitude which I appreciated. It wasn’t just an overwhelming and impossible list of things you should do for your newborn. There were some things I didn’t love: it is VERY heteronormative and had some religious aspects. There were some suggestions that just seem insane in the current world we live in, like taking your baby on business travel with you, taking a whole year off from work, or moving back to your hometown so parents can help you with childcare. But I’m happy to ignore these suggestions and just pick and choose what I advice makes sense for me and my family. Overall I found it a comforting read going into a scary and unknown situation.

[Raman K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute book! Learned a few things

[Nhu]

About halfway through it and if you can tolerate the heteronormative, Christian, and pro-breastfeeding undertones, it’s not so bad.

I wish I read this before baby arrived because there’s some info about the first month that would have been helpful going into it. (I started reading this about 4 weeks after baby was born.)

[Kristin Yee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Overall not recommended. The author is quite “old fashioned”, which in itself is not really a problem, but he goes so far to recommend that moms take off an entire year of work to stay at home without really addressing the reality that this is impossible for the majority of people. He is also aggressively against screen time (while waxing poetically about the”good ole days” of Andy Griffith, and how tv nowadays is “vapid and violent”), quotes bible verses throughout, and blames young people for the decline of fertility in the US without addressing the huge societal issues that have led to people postponing child rearing.

2 stars because at least his sleep training method seems solid (page 167).

[Abby · Rating 2 out of 5]

While there was some useful information in here, the book overall was too saccharine and folksy for me. His vision of families is a very traditional, non-inclusive one and some of his recommendations (like the mother should try to take a year off from work, the couple should consider moving back to their hometown upon having a baby, etc.) are not at all helpful for modern people raising children in the 21st century. Clunky writing in many places (why didn't an editor smooth out the sentences??) and just not enough positive to overcome how regressive it felt.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my fav, author was kinda authoritarian on his knowledge as a doctor which I didn't love. There were parts I did enjoy, like his marvel at life and encouragement of it, but the tone was presumptive and bossy for me. He is a dad and grandpa which I think gives him more credibility, and I did finish it but just didn't really like or agree. Read from a friend's loan. Would not recommend.

[Tanisha · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was an easy read. I didn’t find anything super new in it- all quite common sense and lacking in sources/citations. It was also quite Jesus-y at points, wish that would’ve been communicated in the description.

[Cleo Joyce · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had some interested chapters, but overall not a lot of new information.

[Alexa Hamilton · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was recommended on a podcast and there are some gems, although nothing completely revelatory. There is also some outdated stuff in here, which the podcast host acknowledged—definitely ignore the part about what to do in the hospital and what your partner should do during birth. There’s also just a little bit of old school gender roles in here, not in the early days but in the later assumption of care. And also in women’s ability to just negotiate for more leave. The nearly religious bits also got me, but if those kings don’t turn you off, Dr Hamilton recommends some good ways to soother you’re newborn and to relax and love your newborn without making yourself crazy in the early days.

[Magdalena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refreshing point of view from an M.D. who is not ashamed to include FAITH as one of the pillars in parenting. This book includes some stellar references, i.e.: Leonard Sax, Harvey Karp, Jordan Peterson.

Some aspects from other cultures included, which is another great yet unusual thing for a Western M.D. to include in a book. Then again, this M.D. has travelled to many parts of the world, so he is not afraid to share his observations.

This author is not afraid to state what works and what doesn't amid today's parenting trends.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad I took the time to read this book. I feel like it filled some holes for me as we await the birth of our first baby. I love how Robert C. Hamilton encourages disconnecting for the first few weeks after your baby is born. I think all to often we rush into being busy when we should be resting. This advise really mirrors what was said in our birthing classes and the post-partum books I've read. Dr. Hamilton might sound a bit old and too traditional for some people, but I think his years of experience working with families makes him worth listening to.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some nice practical advice but I feel like it could be whittled down to a much shorter book.
Some science in here which is good - but A LOT of recommendations that are not actually science based, feel very moralizing, and very gender normative. (I hate being called a mommy by other adults. Just saying). Also, I am a Christian so appreciate some of the faith-based anecdote but it definitely comes in strong and feels strange in a book I picked up more for the science aspect of things (from a doctor).
Yea, sorry, the feminist and scientist in me just could not get on board much here.

[Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit overtly religious for my taste and (possibly related?) not even remotely inclusive of same sex parents. That said, I enjoyed the joyful approach to parenting and thought he had some good, practical advice. Nothing ground breaking, but I think that's kind of the point. I bookmarked the sleep and eating sections to refer to when I need those since I liked his common sense approach - no promises of magical schedules that work in just a few days or anything extreme like some books out there.

[Megan Close Zavala · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author, Dr. Hamilton, was the doctor that took care of my son at the hospital, so I was excited to read this book. He is clearly an experienced, knowledgeable doctor who loves his job. With that being said, the book paints almost too rosey of a picture. To him, every moment of parenting is a delight and everything just works its way out. Also, many of the pieces of advice just aren’t realistic for during a pandemic.

[Khanaja Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it... I disagreed with a lot of it. I hate being talked at and dismissed, which if you don't get enough of that from your regular doctor, there's plenty of it here! Hamilton thinks there's only one way to do things - his way - and he doesn't have any compassion for differing dynamics in terms of spousal relations or parental habits. I did still enjoy the information provided, it was very useful as a jumping off point to find more books in this area.

[Zoey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun read for me who is getting ready to be a parent myself. It has lots of great tips and think to think about. I don’t think there is a parenting book that will tell you everything about how to be a parent, but they are all very helpful with reflecting on yourself and how you want to parent. Thank you mom for getting me this book :)

[Matt Parker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but standard advice wrapped up in a real joy in parenting (which I appreciated) and the gentlest Christian patriarchy (which I did not). You can get all the useful stuff from any decent book - but if you're becoming a parent in southern California in 1980, this is the one for you!

[Juls · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Dr. Bob’s viewpoint on parenthood and practical advice for raising a baby. While some might think he is old fashioned, I found his wisdom to be timeless and refreshing. Wish he was my child’s pediatrician!

[Maria Parvulescu · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book! I can see how non-Christians might find parts of it a bit off-putting, but I personally (and I am Christian) found it all enjoyable. Lots of no-nonsense, common sense advice on parenting.

[Maureen Disque · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contained some seriously useful information! However, it is a book full of the authors opinions (though he is a pediatrician), so I did not agree with everything he said. I may not recommend to someone who isn’t religious, as the author included his faith as a strong backbone to the book.

[Bianca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Robert Hamilton has been a paediatrician for 30 years, has raised six children and countless grandchildren. In this book he provides practical advice on becoming a new parent, what to expect, how to survive it and not to forget to enjoy your baby :)

[Nele Hillewaere · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goed informatief boek!! Ik zou het zeker aanraden aan jonge ouders die in de eerste maanden na de geboorte van hun baby de tijd vinden om te lezen. Ik heb er heel wat tips en weetjes uit kunnen halen.

[Heather Forensky · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was given this book because I am going through a first time pregnancy. I think I broke a couple of rules and recommendations that he mentions, but the others seem solid enough that my husband also agrees with a few pieces of his advice.