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The Long Half-Lives of Love and Trauma
The Long Half-Lives of Love and Trauma follows on the heels of #MeToo in describing the long-term effects of sexual assault and healing them. It is the third in a trilogy on non-fiction books that began with Children of the Holocaust.
- GenresMemoir
250 pages, Paperback
First published December 28, 2017
About the author
Helen Epstein
53 books45 followersBorn in Prague.
Grew up in New York City.
Graduated Hebrew University in Jerusalem
Graduated Columbia Journalism School
Taught at NYU Journalism
Now live outside Boston, MA
Grew up in New York City.
Graduated Hebrew University in Jerusalem
Graduated Columbia Journalism School
Taught at NYU Journalism
Now live outside Boston, MA
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
November 4, 2020
Intriguing Memoir
The older I get, the more I love reading memoirs. I especially like those by people whose lives have intersected mine in ways that shed light on the past for me. Epstein was briefly my colleague in the school of Journalism at NYU. A light went off in my mind when she describes the misogynistic male dominated environment in which we taught in the late 70s. It is easy to forget what it was like when women were still rare in academic ranks, even in journalism. I remember being an early reader of her book about children of Holocaust Survivors and her helping me in my drafts of Black Macho and the Myth of the Superwoman. Our common ground was a fascination with how the traumas of our parents and grandparents became the subtext of our own lives, all the more so for what they chose and chose not to share with us about the tragedies of history. That it took her 15 ears to write it is reflected in the depth of her probing unfinished business from her childhood. It’s a very brave book, and deeply satisfying to read.
The older I get, the more I love reading memoirs. I especially like those by people whose lives have intersected mine in ways that shed light on the past for me. Epstein was briefly my colleague in the school of Journalism at NYU. A light went off in my mind when she describes the misogynistic male dominated environment in which we taught in the late 70s. It is easy to forget what it was like when women were still rare in academic ranks, even in journalism. I remember being an early reader of her book about children of Holocaust Survivors and her helping me in my drafts of Black Macho and the Myth of the Superwoman. Our common ground was a fascination with how the traumas of our parents and grandparents became the subtext of our own lives, all the more so for what they chose and chose not to share with us about the tragedies of history. That it took her 15 ears to write it is reflected in the depth of her probing unfinished business from her childhood. It’s a very brave book, and deeply satisfying to read.
October 13, 2018
After Children of the Holocaust (an eye-opener) and Epstein's marvelous book on her mother's background, I wanted to read more. This book is a moving as well as an intellectually rewarding experience. It traces the difficulties of acknowledging and then making peace with sexual abuse in a way that makes Epstein a greater human being. Sincere and thoughtful in a way that can truly help women. I coulldn't put it down!
February 11, 2019
Epstein's memoir is akin to how her trauma, that of her family and of sexual abuse emerged while trying to excavate her own past. It is a fascinating look at how we understand ourselves and how that can change over time.
"How do I know fact from fantasy when I'm the sole source?...There's also the question of boundaries: all lives involve other people and my story involves yours. Do I have a right to tell it? What's private? What's public? Who decides?" 75
"By the time we crossed from Massachusetts into Vermont, my eyes were wet again and I realized that I was in altered state of mind. Words and images were coming at me like bats at night, colliding and making my chest tighten. My consciousness seemed to have broken away from its usual tracks." 83
"Whatever I gleaned or remembered remained in vivid but disconnected chunks."
"Trauma, I thought, had an even longer half-life than love." 181
"As long as I could remember, my mother had conflated or camouflaged her psychological issues with physical ones..." 187
"How do I know fact from fantasy when I'm the sole source?...There's also the question of boundaries: all lives involve other people and my story involves yours. Do I have a right to tell it? What's private? What's public? Who decides?" 75
"By the time we crossed from Massachusetts into Vermont, my eyes were wet again and I realized that I was in altered state of mind. Words and images were coming at me like bats at night, colliding and making my chest tighten. My consciousness seemed to have broken away from its usual tracks." 83
"Whatever I gleaned or remembered remained in vivid but disconnected chunks."
"Trauma, I thought, had an even longer half-life than love." 181
"As long as I could remember, my mother had conflated or camouflaged her psychological issues with physical ones..." 187
February 3, 2021
This book is a really honest and sometimes heart wrenching or confusing account of the author’s journey to discovering a history of abuse as a child. She very openly takes us on the journey with her and we pretty much know what she’s thinking and feeling at each step. She’s never able to confirm her memories of the abuse because the people primarily involved have passed away. It’s also an interesting introduction to psychoanalysis as a therapy tool. The story makes me want to learn more about that avenue of therapy. This book could definitely trigger some reactions in those who have been abused as well, but I think it’s worth recommending to anyone who maybe wants to explore their unconfirmed memories or part of their past through psychoanalysis.
January 10, 2023
I find Helen Epstein a compelling writer. I was intrigued by the nature of her storytelling, focusing on romantic and sexual desires dating back to early adolescence and how these impulses continued to be woven through her personal and professional life. She includes frank discussions with her analyst to weave this story of enduring friendship and the structure of relationships in the shadow of repressed memories.
February 19, 2018
Well done and certainly unusual. The author’s approach makes this a uniquely presented memoir. Disturbing topics examined by the author as she wades through her childhood memories with the assistance of a therapist.
February 21, 2025
introspective and brave and all the things.
October 8, 2018
A fascinating read. An intimately revealing, yet sparing account about the author's journey to recover awareness of a lost part of her experience involving childhood sexual trauma. A stunning account by the author who brought us "Children of the Holocaust" in the 80's. For me, the combination of journalistic composure and the honest telling sizzles.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews