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Trust #4
Broken Silence
Chase Hamilton, the owner of the private BDSM club Darkfall, is known for being cool and reserved. For years he’s run from his past, from the deep emotions that can destroy his hold on that self-contained persona. His last relationship ends badly, and he’s in a downward spiral, nothing like the natural Dom he used to be. His friends are worried, and unhappy with the way he’s behaving and Chase knows he can no longer ignore his pain. Walking the floor of his club one night, he sees something that turns his stomach. He won’t stand for it, and his actions that night change his life.
After months in captivity, being raped and tortured by the Osiris Circle, one night will change his life forever. Mason Brooks is a wraith, a broken shell of the man and the sub he once was. When Chase rescues him neither of them knows the key role the other will play in their recoveries. Months later, Mason’s body is healing, but his mind still struggles with opening up about all that’s happened to him. Can he ever handle a “normal” relationship, much less the submissive one? Chase is everything Mason dreamed of, everything he craves in a man and a Dom, but how can a man as perfect as Chase ever want him, especially after…
Unknowingly, they both have the same thought.
“I don’t want to disappoint him. What if I am too broken ever to have a relationship again?”
After months in captivity, being raped and tortured by the Osiris Circle, one night will change his life forever. Mason Brooks is a wraith, a broken shell of the man and the sub he once was. When Chase rescues him neither of them knows the key role the other will play in their recoveries. Months later, Mason’s body is healing, but his mind still struggles with opening up about all that’s happened to him. Can he ever handle a “normal” relationship, much less the submissive one? Chase is everything Mason dreamed of, everything he craves in a man and a Dom, but how can a man as perfect as Chase ever want him, especially after…
Unknowingly, they both have the same thought.
“I don’t want to disappoint him. What if I am too broken ever to have a relationship again?”
- GenresBDSMM M Romance
342 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 18, 2018
19 people are currently reading
23 people want to read
About the author
Amanda Marie Raulerson
7 books37 followersAbout the Author
I’ll try to keep this short, but I probably won’t be able to. Sitting here thinking about what it is I want to tell you about me, I realize I’m overthinking again. I do that a lot because I’m a worrier, a nitpicker, an obsessive-compulsive weirdo with a tendency to overshare… Bigtime. I have been many people in my life, both good and bad, like most humans on earth. I have a “family” I will probably never see again, unless someone remembers me when planning a funeral… maybe. I was adopted before my parents knew how strange I was, and was never really accepted me into their family. They kept me (too afraid of their friend’s judgment if they’d tried to return me because I was defective) but never understood or accepted me. I was “different,” odd and not normal, but what the hell is normal? I spent a lot of time alone, became my own person because that is all I could do, and even though I wanted their acceptance… I knew I would never get it.
I was extremely confused my whole life, about who and what I was, what was “wrong” with me. Finally, in my late thirties, I came to accept something I’d known for a long time but was afraid of. Accepting the fact that I am a transgender gay man made me feel more alone than ever, but I knew the truth deep down in my soul. Living as a woman felt so wrong, but no matter how I felt I was too afraid to be anything else. Scared and lonely, I hide behind the mask I’d worn my whole life. (Better the devil you know, right?) I knew I would lose everything, that I would have to start a completely new life if I ever wanted to be me, and the thought terrified me. So deep into my depression, I thought I would have to hide who I was for the rest of my life, that no one would ever accept or love me for who I really am. I knew my “family” never would, I’d heard them make comments about people like me without ever knowing they were degrading me with every word. Every slur, innuendo or derogatory tirade a painful blow to my already broken soul.
When I was at my lowest, voices reached out and told me that I deserved to be happy, and I felt truly loved and valued for the first time in my life. They accepted the real me; quirks, annoying habits, idiosyncrasies, my tendency spout random gibberish and all. I thought friendship was an emotional circus full of mind games and double talk, passive-aggressive “jokes” that I would have to wade through to find out what they actually meant. I’d had “friends” before, and I didn’t want to go through that again. It just wasn’t worth it… or so I
thought. These voices turned out to be brilliant, exceptional, generous and devoted women who turned my entire life around with their love and support. These women, their belief in me, pulled me out of hell and helped me to grow stronger every day. They didn’t make me feel bad for being different, they celebrated my uniqueness and gently pushed me to reach for my dreams. My overactive imagination was always coming up with stories and ideas, characters and scenes that needed to be written, but I never thought I would be able to publish a book people would want to read. I’d only ever heard I was too stupid to write anything other than grocery lists, that my notebooks full of stories were just rediculous scribbling that no one would want to read. They helped me silence the degrading voices in my head, and they helped me prove those voices wrong.
I have lived and I have wanted to die. I have fought with everything in me, and both won and lost. I have picked myself up after an atom bomb has destroyed my life, and I have soldiered on. I am not better and I am not worse than the next person. I’m human just like you!
I’ll try to keep this short, but I probably won’t be able to. Sitting here thinking about what it is I want to tell you about me, I realize I’m overthinking again. I do that a lot because I’m a worrier, a nitpicker, an obsessive-compulsive weirdo with a tendency to overshare… Bigtime. I have been many people in my life, both good and bad, like most humans on earth. I have a “family” I will probably never see again, unless someone remembers me when planning a funeral… maybe. I was adopted before my parents knew how strange I was, and was never really accepted me into their family. They kept me (too afraid of their friend’s judgment if they’d tried to return me because I was defective) but never understood or accepted me. I was “different,” odd and not normal, but what the hell is normal? I spent a lot of time alone, became my own person because that is all I could do, and even though I wanted their acceptance… I knew I would never get it.
I was extremely confused my whole life, about who and what I was, what was “wrong” with me. Finally, in my late thirties, I came to accept something I’d known for a long time but was afraid of. Accepting the fact that I am a transgender gay man made me feel more alone than ever, but I knew the truth deep down in my soul. Living as a woman felt so wrong, but no matter how I felt I was too afraid to be anything else. Scared and lonely, I hide behind the mask I’d worn my whole life. (Better the devil you know, right?) I knew I would lose everything, that I would have to start a completely new life if I ever wanted to be me, and the thought terrified me. So deep into my depression, I thought I would have to hide who I was for the rest of my life, that no one would ever accept or love me for who I really am. I knew my “family” never would, I’d heard them make comments about people like me without ever knowing they were degrading me with every word. Every slur, innuendo or derogatory tirade a painful blow to my already broken soul.
When I was at my lowest, voices reached out and told me that I deserved to be happy, and I felt truly loved and valued for the first time in my life. They accepted the real me; quirks, annoying habits, idiosyncrasies, my tendency spout random gibberish and all. I thought friendship was an emotional circus full of mind games and double talk, passive-aggressive “jokes” that I would have to wade through to find out what they actually meant. I’d had “friends” before, and I didn’t want to go through that again. It just wasn’t worth it… or so I
thought. These voices turned out to be brilliant, exceptional, generous and devoted women who turned my entire life around with their love and support. These women, their belief in me, pulled me out of hell and helped me to grow stronger every day. They didn’t make me feel bad for being different, they celebrated my uniqueness and gently pushed me to reach for my dreams. My overactive imagination was always coming up with stories and ideas, characters and scenes that needed to be written, but I never thought I would be able to publish a book people would want to read. I’d only ever heard I was too stupid to write anything other than grocery lists, that my notebooks full of stories were just rediculous scribbling that no one would want to read. They helped me silence the degrading voices in my head, and they helped me prove those voices wrong.
I have lived and I have wanted to die. I have fought with everything in me, and both won and lost. I have picked myself up after an atom bomb has destroyed my life, and I have soldiered on. I am not better and I am not worse than the next person. I’m human just like you!
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
December 22, 2017
I just love D/s stories as in this Trust series.
Chase gives me shivers of joy...when he says words like 'Baby' or 'Daol' it's just.... everything
The reflection of horse <-> man was wonderful done. I could feel the corresponding... what had happened to both... it made my cry.. I could feel it in the deepest parts of my heart.
"no matter how far down your bottom is… Use that bottom to create a platform to frame your life."
All the interaction are emotional, with so much love... just overwhelming.
The reflections are so wonderful put down, it hurt and brought comfort.
Chase and Mason both have a devastating, traumatized past... bruised and broken in the most heartbreaking way...
I loved all the comforting, the considerations toward Mason from all who approach him.
It all speaks of so much love, respect and trust toward each other. Even forgiveness.... If the whole world could be like that, goshhhh.... that's how it's suppose to be!
There are always the words 'open up'. Both Mason and Chase had to do it.... and good god when they did.. every small step was breathtaking...
Mason's head was constant in overdrive and to submit he had to give himself space in there.
A natural submissive he is but also a lot to learn....they have all the time of the world.
Together they are intense, sensual, warm and beautiful. The bubble when they are together is just a wonderful place. I drank the lines eagerly.
Again a wonderful captivating story of the Trust series.
There are heavy subjects but there is also a sort of hop in it... a joy, a bright light and a totally contentment. These beautiful flawed men in the center, lighting up each others worlds.
There radiates so much hope from these men, hope and determination for their future.
Written in a devoted sincere mode, real and convincing. Amazing personalities put down with all the love of the world....
A Trust series... a Winner series !
Kindly received an ARC from the author
Chase gives me shivers of joy...when he says words like 'Baby' or 'Daol' it's just.... everything
The reflection of horse <-> man was wonderful done. I could feel the corresponding... what had happened to both... it made my cry.. I could feel it in the deepest parts of my heart.
"no matter how far down your bottom is… Use that bottom to create a platform to frame your life."
All the interaction are emotional, with so much love... just overwhelming.
The reflections are so wonderful put down, it hurt and brought comfort.
Chase and Mason both have a devastating, traumatized past... bruised and broken in the most heartbreaking way...
I loved all the comforting, the considerations toward Mason from all who approach him.
It all speaks of so much love, respect and trust toward each other. Even forgiveness.... If the whole world could be like that, goshhhh.... that's how it's suppose to be!
There are always the words 'open up'. Both Mason and Chase had to do it.... and good god when they did.. every small step was breathtaking...
Mason's head was constant in overdrive and to submit he had to give himself space in there.
A natural submissive he is but also a lot to learn....they have all the time of the world.
Together they are intense, sensual, warm and beautiful. The bubble when they are together is just a wonderful place. I drank the lines eagerly.
Again a wonderful captivating story of the Trust series.
There are heavy subjects but there is also a sort of hop in it... a joy, a bright light and a totally contentment. These beautiful flawed men in the center, lighting up each others worlds.
There radiates so much hope from these men, hope and determination for their future.
Written in a devoted sincere mode, real and convincing. Amazing personalities put down with all the love of the world....
A Trust series... a Winner series !
Kindly received an ARC from the author
December 21, 2017
Broken Silence by A M Raulerson is by far my favorite book in the series. I loved getting to see Mason recover from his ordeal with the being a slave to Andrew Duggins and the Osiris Circle and how Chase is there to make sure that he goes to all of his appointments and takes care of himself. I also loved how both Chase and Mason are damaged individuals who help each other to heal, emotionally and physically. They complement each other beautifully. I do recommend that you read the other books in the series to get some background into what happened with the Osiris Circle and the other supporting characters. The story is well written with complex characters and some pretty hot and intense scenes. I enjoyed the puppy play scene, and the collaring ceremony was beautiful. I can't wait to see whom the next book in the series is going to be about. I voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book.
December 22, 2017
WOW! This book is amazing! Engaging story, amazing MC's and the care and precision that went into development of each character development is astounding. Chase and Mason really hit every mark for me. The pain in their past really broke my heart and then their fight to love gave me back my belief in the healing power of love.
Beautiful but broken men who find their way to love and a healthy relationship with the help of therapy, friends and personal struggles. The journey to happiness includes some wonderful intimacy and some terrific personal encounters. Book is steamy, a little kinky and a has a lot of heart.
This is a stand alone book, however as soon as i completed this book, i went back and pulled book one off my kindle and started reading. Each book is an amazing story of love, strength and hope. I highly recommend this book, in fact this whole series if fabulous!
Beautiful but broken men who find their way to love and a healthy relationship with the help of therapy, friends and personal struggles. The journey to happiness includes some wonderful intimacy and some terrific personal encounters. Book is steamy, a little kinky and a has a lot of heart.
This is a stand alone book, however as soon as i completed this book, i went back and pulled book one off my kindle and started reading. Each book is an amazing story of love, strength and hope. I highly recommend this book, in fact this whole series if fabulous!
September 24, 2018
This one is hard for me to rate. I feel like there is a really good story in here, but there is a lot that could have been cut out to make it a better, smoother read. The dialogue is just too much, with characters often going on multi page rants, as if the writer felt the need to really hammer home her point but not able to do so in a concise manner. In addition, a lot of it just didn't feel genuine. It didn't feel like things people would actually say to each other, especially not at such length. I enjoyed the plot, and enjoyed the characters when they weren't being over the top mushy or philosophical, but as a whole it just didn't quite work for me. With more condensed, natural dialogue and better editing (because I did catch multiple typos) this could be a 4 star read. As it is now, I can't give it more than 2.5 stars.
December 24, 2017
Ah, this story broke my heart in tiny little pieces, then started to glue the pieces back together.
Both Chase and Mason have been through so much!
Mason is like a butterfly, discovering himself little by little after what happened to him, becoming a wonderful new him, with help from Chase and new friends.
We get to read a little about characters from the previous books in the series (yay!!!) and we (or at least I) get to wonder who the next book will be about.
Broken Silence is an amazing read, a wonderful story about rediscovering and building yourself back from hitting rock bottom. Add someone from the past and someone from the present trying to disturb Chase and Mason's future, you get an insta-crush on this book!
Both Chase and Mason have been through so much!
Mason is like a butterfly, discovering himself little by little after what happened to him, becoming a wonderful new him, with help from Chase and new friends.
We get to read a little about characters from the previous books in the series (yay!!!) and we (or at least I) get to wonder who the next book will be about.
Broken Silence is an amazing read, a wonderful story about rediscovering and building yourself back from hitting rock bottom. Add someone from the past and someone from the present trying to disturb Chase and Mason's future, you get an insta-crush on this book!
December 27, 2017
3. 5 Stars.🌟 An okay story but i prefer the authors previous writting style. This story i found repeative at the start and furthur in. Scenes with Mason where fantastic even though a little drawn out. I loved the animals being involved in caring. A small glitch in format with sentence lines pops up now and again.
Mason hated Doctor's appointments and therapy sessions were the worst. PTSD was the result I'd gone through. Aaron was trying to help Mason to open up along with the others as support network. Chase has been his guardian angel since leaving the hospital helping in anyway he can.
Chase is the owner of Darkfall a BDSM Club and was there when he rescues Mason from Andrew. Chase has issues as well to go through and talk about instead of hiding it.
Mason hated Doctor's appointments and therapy sessions were the worst. PTSD was the result I'd gone through. Aaron was trying to help Mason to open up along with the others as support network. Chase has been his guardian angel since leaving the hospital helping in anyway he can.
Chase is the owner of Darkfall a BDSM Club and was there when he rescues Mason from Andrew. Chase has issues as well to go through and talk about instead of hiding it.
January 17, 2018
I loved it. This book is the last one in the Trust series. A series that tops my marathon read list. The emotional journey that Chase and Mason has to make to reach their HEA will have you on an emotional roller coaster. Like all the other guys in the series, they had to learn to trust themselves as well as each other. All of the books in this series are emotional reads. That is the strongest most important aspect of these stories. The BDSM lifestyle they live is second to that. But then, Trust is key in the lifestyle. I highly recommend this series and reading it in order to truly understand all the characters. They have become like family to me though I am partial to Aaron and Betts, I love them all.
August 8, 2020
The final book of the trilogy
Anyway I think it is a trilogy as I have now read three books all connected by particular events. Each book was about a special couple or three some in the BDSM lifestyle and by a true crime being perpetrated in that lifestyle. There is heavy duty rescue both physical and psychological in each book with men in therapy helping each other. This third story follows Mason who was kidnapped and tortured for months before being rescued by Chase, the downfall of the criminal group of men who kidnapped many young men who abused and then killed them, and the love that they found in each other. All three books are emotional while we see the psychological therapy progressing to health, happiness and love. I highly recommend this author to you.
Anyway I think it is a trilogy as I have now read three books all connected by particular events. Each book was about a special couple or three some in the BDSM lifestyle and by a true crime being perpetrated in that lifestyle. There is heavy duty rescue both physical and psychological in each book with men in therapy helping each other. This third story follows Mason who was kidnapped and tortured for months before being rescued by Chase, the downfall of the criminal group of men who kidnapped many young men who abused and then killed them, and the love that they found in each other. All three books are emotional while we see the psychological therapy progressing to health, happiness and love. I highly recommend this author to you.
December 27, 2017
4.5 Stars
Chase and Mason were wonderful together in this story of healing and love. Both men had tragic events they were struggling to get over, and they each wanted to help theother. Their attraction was only overshadowed by the concern and growing love they felt. I loved the animal rescue scenes, and I appreciated the supportive group of friends that the couple had. The BDSM elements were wonderful. I absolutely loved Chase in Dom mode. The only reason I didn't give this book 5 stars was because many of the conversations seemed stilted, but I really loved the story and characters. I haven't read the other books in this series, but I will now, thanks to this one.
Chase and Mason were wonderful together in this story of healing and love. Both men had tragic events they were struggling to get over, and they each wanted to help theother. Their attraction was only overshadowed by the concern and growing love they felt. I loved the animal rescue scenes, and I appreciated the supportive group of friends that the couple had. The BDSM elements were wonderful. I absolutely loved Chase in Dom mode. The only reason I didn't give this book 5 stars was because many of the conversations seemed stilted, but I really loved the story and characters. I haven't read the other books in this series, but I will now, thanks to this one.
January 2, 2018
Great 4th book in this series! I enjoyed learning more about Chase, his backstory and how he and Mason found comfort in each other....subsequently falling in love. The MCs had a very special connection, so strong and built on mutual trust. Chase and Mason didn't have the typical "D/s" relationship that I've read in numerous books. IMO Their relationship was more of a "D/S" relationship (except in the bedroom of course) This story was very emotional at times. Mason's backstory left me very emotional and sad. Some chapters seemed very repetitive, but that could be due to the turns in POV taken throughout the story.
January 1, 2018
I was so excited to see this book come out but I felt that the story was rushed in some parts and dragged out in others. I was bored and found myself skimming the story to get to the good parts. Unfortunately, it was repetitive and the psychobabble was over the top. Aaron, Chase, Simon oh my all of them had some sage advice but it felt insincere. I know that was not the intention and it could just be me but I was disappointed.
I'll still pick up the next book and hope that the writing returns to the previous style.
I'll still pick up the next book and hope that the writing returns to the previous style.
December 21, 2017
Wow, what an amazing book that broke my heart and then put it back together little by little. An amazing storyline that is an emotional roller coaster that I could not put down. Mason and Chase both have so much from their past that they need to work through. They are perfect and beautiful together. Chase may have originally saved Mason, but I think they both saved each other. Love this series and can't wait for more.
I voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book.
I voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book.
April 9, 2018
Wow!!!
I thought Aaron/Simon/Sam was awesome! They have nothing on Chase & Mason! I loved seeing the two of them heal and grow together. This author just keeps getting better and better with each story!! I'm still hoping for a story with Sam's brother!! *smile* haha!!!
I thought Aaron/Simon/Sam was awesome! They have nothing on Chase & Mason! I loved seeing the two of them heal and grow together. This author just keeps getting better and better with each story!! I'm still hoping for a story with Sam's brother!! *smile* haha!!!
March 25, 2018
This was a great series by Ms. Amanda Raulerson, I've read all the previous books in the Trust series, and enjoy them all. I'm looking forward to reading more books in this series, keep them coming.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews