GURL Please: A reformed people pleasers guide to finding your voice

by Katie Hulbert

People-pleasing is a lifestyle. It’s a lifestyle many of us live, but did not deliberately choose. You see, we people pleasers try to make everyone happy. We do and say what we think others want to hear; we meet everyone elses needs before our own, and we definatley dont make waves!
I for one, am tired of that lifestyle; it's exhausting, frustrating and unsatisfying in every way. In this book, I explore all the pieces that make up the PP lifestyle, and the ways you can peel back the layers of the person you are trying to be and learn to live as the person you were meant to be. It’s time to let your true self shine, it’s time for you to give yourself a voice. Its time for you to live the life that you've imagined.

Genres: Self Help

58 pages, Paperback

Published December 12, 2017

About the author

As a cult and abuse survivor, Katie Hulbert is a no nonsense, straight talking, expert on overcoming fear and shame. As a former college professor, church pastor, game show host and restaurant manager she brings an eclectic and well rounded experience and perspective on life. She has fought and clawed her way to a life of freedom and joy, now determined to help others do the same. She currently resides in Durango, co with her 3 legged pup Sebastian (a spokesdog of ZUKES dog treats:) soaking up the mountain lifestyle. When she's not traveling or speaking, she can usually be found binge watching 'the office', eating tacos and drinking a margarita:)

Reviews

[Rach · Rating 1 out of 5]

I remembered why I usually don't read self-published works. This had a positive message that was lost in poor writing. Tons of typos, run on sentences, and unnecessary cursing.

[GrnEyed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being kind to people, making them happy, and putting them first is a terrible thing. It might sound ridiculous. How can being kind and doing for others be bad for anyone? The answer is simple, as the author clearly expresses. When you are a people pleaser you are ensuring everyone around you is doing well and you…you’re miserable.
As a self-proclaimed people pleaser, who is in recovery, I understand all too well everything the author discusses. I greatly appreciated the different exercises she suggested the reader do. It might seem a tad corny to read this but sometimes doing exercises, such as writing down how the world sees you and then writing how you see yourself, can prove rather, educational. They are also eye-opening.
I choose to do what I can to help others and make people happy, so in one respect I’m still a people pleaser. The only difference is I do what I need to put myself first. It’s very true that we must be our best self if we want to be good to anyone else.
If you find yourself to be a people pleaser, pick up this book and give it a read. Do the exercises, they might help you as much as they helped me.

[Dennise Pendergrass · Rating 3 out of 5]

Once upon a time I was a true people pleaser. To the point that I was always so stressed and unhappy I would get stress migraines 2-3 times a week. I just wanted to be loved and accepted. This lasted from childhood until I was about 21. When I sat myself down, and realized just how unhealthy it all was. If these people that said they loved me, my family and friends really loved me, they would accept me even if I said no sometimes.

Almost 10 years later, and I am much healthier mentally. I only have a few migraines a year. I'm all around happier. My marriage is better. I no longer feel like a doormat.

This short self-help book probably would have benefited a young me. It took much too long for me to figure these things out by myself. All young people need to be told these things. Boys, and girls. I have a young son that is struggling with wanting everyone around him to be happy at cost to himself. We're working on finding boundaries, and knowing it's okay to be selfish sometimes. We can't always do what other people want. I really liked some of the analogies, and they were great descriptive tools.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is only 58 pages! It has some good advice in it, though.

[Shani · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I read the blurb for this book, I thought to myself, “Yup, that’s me!” Because in reality I’ve always done everything I can to not only keep the peace but to keep everyone happy. Too many times we let what everyone else wants or needs come before our own. I have a deep appreciation for how the author shared her wisdom in a way that was relatable if not humorous at times. She really gets down to what is at the heart of it, and some of that is insecurity in ourselves. Our life examples, experiences and just reality shape that for us. It forms what we do in order to make everyone happy. But as she reiterates, it’s time to say enough. Do what you can to make YOU happy first. Because in the end that's what matters. I loved this as a reminder to pick myself up and go on. Doing so without the constant worry though is something I will have to work towards. I take faith in the author's words as she’s very much a survivor of several things. Again, it makes her words more raw and like she really does understand what it takes to function. This is a wonderfully quick read to get you started on the right path. Even as a re-read for reminders of your plan.