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A Melon for Ecstasy
This extraordinarily original novel by the two subsequently famous humorists (John Fortune is celebrated for his performances on the Rory Bremner show - Bremner, Bird and Fortune) was written in 1971. Its hero is one Humphrey Mackevoy who takes a love of nature rather too far. He is passionate about trees. In particular one leafy laburnum called Labby. Risking nasty splinters as the joys of virgin wood engulf him, he risks the wrath of local busybodies as they determine to save their trees from the mysterious drill holes that keep appearing overnight. Humphrey struggles to protect his dark secret and overcome his passion for the soft contours of the young sapling, but will he ever escape the clutches of Mummy, a darkly comic creation drawn to give us all nightmares? Eventually his beloved tree is chopped down and Humphrey's dark secret is revealed and he is sent to prison. Poor Humphrey...A comic masterpiece - a walk in the park will never seem the same again.
176 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1971
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
December 22, 2008
Quite simply the funniest book I have ever read in my life. Written as a series of letters; as the correspondence mounts, the overall message becomes hilariously clear. Never get between a man and his trees.
Starring Humphrey Mackevoy, a man who loves trees, maybe a little too much. The sudden epidemic of holes bored into local trees, all 33 inches from the ground at an angle of 15 degrees to the horizontal, has everyone in town buzzing. The authorities are outraged at such wanton vandalism, the police are on high alert, the ornithological society is ecstatic, believing that the fabulously rare crested woodpecker has returned to the British Isles. Humphrey is more concerned with occupational hazards like splinter wounds and the toxic effects of the new pesticide being sprayed on the trees.
What with the prison chaplain dedicated to making the Gospel more relevant by rewriting it as a Western (Posse from Galilee), assorted power-crazed local councillors, a sex-crazed sixteen-year-old girl desperate to get laid, and the ever-present Humphrey's Mummy, there is never a dull moment.
Given the spicy gumbo that the authors have concocted, rich with every hilarious village archetype you've ever come across, the tree-porn sections are lagniappe. A certain bewitching laburnum stirs Humphrey to flights of soft-porn eloquence:
"Lasciviously I turned my face, brushing the cold bark with my lips, and began to explore its texture with my tongue. And you couldn't stop me, my laburnum, you with your branches pinioned in the air, leaving your trunk so bare, so bare, so unprotected, so vulnerable..."
I would be happy to loan you my copy, if I hadn't sent it to a certain goodreads member MANY MONTHS AGO (she knows who she is).
Possibly the finest epistolary novel ever written.
Starring Humphrey Mackevoy, a man who loves trees, maybe a little too much. The sudden epidemic of holes bored into local trees, all 33 inches from the ground at an angle of 15 degrees to the horizontal, has everyone in town buzzing. The authorities are outraged at such wanton vandalism, the police are on high alert, the ornithological society is ecstatic, believing that the fabulously rare crested woodpecker has returned to the British Isles. Humphrey is more concerned with occupational hazards like splinter wounds and the toxic effects of the new pesticide being sprayed on the trees.
What with the prison chaplain dedicated to making the Gospel more relevant by rewriting it as a Western (Posse from Galilee), assorted power-crazed local councillors, a sex-crazed sixteen-year-old girl desperate to get laid, and the ever-present Humphrey's Mummy, there is never a dull moment.
Given the spicy gumbo that the authors have concocted, rich with every hilarious village archetype you've ever come across, the tree-porn sections are lagniappe. A certain bewitching laburnum stirs Humphrey to flights of soft-porn eloquence:
"Lasciviously I turned my face, brushing the cold bark with my lips, and began to explore its texture with my tongue. And you couldn't stop me, my laburnum, you with your branches pinioned in the air, leaving your trunk so bare, so bare, so unprotected, so vulnerable..."
I would be happy to loan you my copy, if I hadn't sent it to a certain goodreads member MANY MONTHS AGO (she knows who she is).
Possibly the finest epistolary novel ever written.
September 2, 2023
Without a shadow of a doubt- this is the best book I have ever read about a guy who has intercourse with trees. Of course, it is the only one I have read, but it’s still the best one, so a five star review seems only appropriate.
Honestly though- this was a very fun read and I hope all of the people who want to borrow it from me enjoy it as well. Humphrey’s descriptions of sensual trees are like nothing you’ve ever seen before, and the mentions of his often injured genitals really make you want to shrivel up into yourself. I will forever live with the knowledge that he canonically visited the area I live in to have his wicked way with some trees.
I did actually start to feel a bit bad for Humphrey at some points- is it really his fault he desires trees so intensely? He definitely seems to suffer because of it.
Overall, I reckon I could write an surprisingly serious ecocritical essay about this book, and I actually might for a bit of fun. Look out for my name in the literary journals.
Honestly though- this was a very fun read and I hope all of the people who want to borrow it from me enjoy it as well. Humphrey’s descriptions of sensual trees are like nothing you’ve ever seen before, and the mentions of his often injured genitals really make you want to shrivel up into yourself. I will forever live with the knowledge that he canonically visited the area I live in to have his wicked way with some trees.
I did actually start to feel a bit bad for Humphrey at some points- is it really his fault he desires trees so intensely? He definitely seems to suffer because of it.
Overall, I reckon I could write an surprisingly serious ecocritical essay about this book, and I actually might for a bit of fun. Look out for my name in the literary journals.
January 8, 2013
This is the funniest book about a man who fucks trees that's (probably) ever been written. Told in a series of letters, diary entries and newspaper clippings, the book documents the chaos caused by the aforementioned gentleman and his predilection for drilling holes in trees. Also involved are a pair of councilmen who's feud takes a scatological turn and a sex obsessed 16 year old girl. It's certainly not for the faint of heart or the queasy of stomach, but for everyone else it's a unique, comic read.
It seems to be out of print now, which is a pity, because there's simply nothing like it out there.
It seems to be out of print now, which is a pity, because there's simply nothing like it out there.
April 2, 2009
This is undoubtedly the greatest epistolary novel ever written about a man who has sex with trees. Brilliant and hilarious.
February 24, 2018
People in a village in southern England are up in arms – someone or something is drilling lots of holes in local trees, and they're forced to look into it. Not too closely, mind, for their sakes - as the culprit is a bloke drilling a hole for him to shag. Yes, he's taking tree-hugging to a new level, letting wood meet wood, providing wood for his pecker… Yes, they're all possible with this bizarre scenario. Speaking of woodpeckers, some villagers think they're guilty, while someone else thinks it is a rare orang outang that eats woodpeckers that's behind it all. When you add in a Mafia-styled face-off amongst councillors, a policeman trying to get his crack on with an elderly lady, a hormonal schoolgirl, and the pros and cons of English wine, and you really do have a surreal read. The benefit of it all is that it is so bizarre, and really quite edgy, that it's getting close to 50 and doesn't feel dated one bit. Possibly not the easiest read to track down, it's quite assuredly worth it. Only my inept muddling of all the minor characters in lapses of clarity prevented highest marks.
October 29, 2020
Is it supposed to be provocative? Funny? Status quo challenging? It misses the mark on all of them and comes across as a book written by someone with the mind of an adolescent who thought it would be, for some reason, compelling to hear about a man sticking his genitals in trees. At one point the character describes something as "onanistic." I can think of no better way to describe the impression that is left of the writers who thought they had struck upon something original (and maybe they did) but, pardon the expression, got down in the weeds of their vision (or lack thereof) and wrote what amounts to the doodlings of a not-very-inspired 13 year old on a junior high urinal stall.
January 6, 2021
Quite strange but still fairly amusing, this story of a man who gets his pleasure from erotic encounters with trees was written in 1971. It’s the subplots involving his grotesque mother and, particularly, two warring councillors, which entertain more than his own journal both before and during his time in prison when discovered performing his nefarious deeds. There wasn’t a great deal to it but the authors clearly enjoyed themselves describing the sexual attraction of Ailanthus alttssinia and other arboreal exotica
September 11, 2017
Read this book many years ago during the 1970s. Thoroughly enjoyed it - the dry humour did it for me. If early works by Tom Sharpe have a place in your affections "A Melon for Ecstasy" will have you in stitches - it's very English. I won't give anything away but the expression "an oak for a poke" will take me back to my discovery of the novel.
June 3, 2024
5.5/10
Got tough to read and lots of characters/nicknames.
Plot got a bit boring but some bits made me occasionally pensive.
Bit weird but I don’t mind weird. Did laugh at bits but became a drag eventually.
Got tough to read and lots of characters/nicknames.
Plot got a bit boring but some bits made me occasionally pensive.
Bit weird but I don’t mind weird. Did laugh at bits but became a drag eventually.
October 13, 2019
This guy lived down the road from my school.
A worthy book to be arrested for!
A worthy book to be arrested for!
October 19, 2019
The reader is left reaching for their own hand tool kit at the end of this one.
You will have to read it to know what I am referring to.
(It's not what you think), -it may be what you do
You will have to read it to know what I am referring to.
(It's not what you think), -it may be what you do
Read
July 18, 2016It is regarded by many to be one of the great works of humorous fiction. Similar to works from the comedic genius of P.G. Wodehouse, the quality of writing is exceptional and the story is populated with batty, eccentric, very-English characters. The humour is certainly there – some eye-watering, but I also found a certain degree of pathos in the tale and in the characters. Whether this was intended or not by the authors, I’m not sure.
Both Fortune and Wells made significant contributions to English comedy and satire in both print and film during their careers. For those of us old enough to remember the very-funny last scene of the James Bond film "For Your Eyes Only" where Maggie Thatcher is in her kitchen on the phone complimenting Bond on saving the world again, but she is actually talking to a flirtatious parrot, that is John Wells in the apron playing the henpecked Denis Thatcher. I suspect the whole scene was devised by Wells, as it has the same comedic stamp as much of this book.
Subjectively, this book is satire on the edge of acceptability, and like the magazine Private Eye that John Wells was an early contributor to may not be to everyone’s taste.
Both Fortune and Wells made significant contributions to English comedy and satire in both print and film during their careers. For those of us old enough to remember the very-funny last scene of the James Bond film "For Your Eyes Only" where Maggie Thatcher is in her kitchen on the phone complimenting Bond on saving the world again, but she is actually talking to a flirtatious parrot, that is John Wells in the apron playing the henpecked Denis Thatcher. I suspect the whole scene was devised by Wells, as it has the same comedic stamp as much of this book.
Subjectively, this book is satire on the edge of acceptability, and like the magazine Private Eye that John Wells was an early contributor to may not be to everyone’s taste.
August 9, 2011
You need to know right up front that this novel is about a man who has a sexual fetish involving trees. Excited? Then you will really like this book. The story, written in the form of journal entries, letters and newspaper articles, follows Humphrey Mackevoy and his nocturnal arboreal passions – often described in rather explicit detail. I shan’t say any more except that after reading this comic gem you will never look at a shady grove the same way again.
Sentus Libri 100 word reviews of overlooked books.
Sentus Libri 100 word reviews of overlooked books.
February 11, 2008
A Melon for Ecstasy by John Fortune and John Wells is an epistletory novel concerning a man with a rather peculiar tree fetish.
The two British satirists involved in the books creation are adept in both understated humor and bawdy (see book for details and defecation).
Not for everyone, and very hard to find, A Melon for Ecstasy is a delightfully preposterous read.
The two British satirists involved in the books creation are adept in both understated humor and bawdy (see book for details and defecation).
Not for everyone, and very hard to find, A Melon for Ecstasy is a delightfully preposterous read.
Want to read
December 7, 2008Read about this in the recent Savage Love column - seems like an odd, fun read.
October 28, 2012
Wanted to give three and a half really. You won't read many books like this for sure but it has a certain charm about it. Quite unique and amusing.
February 7, 2013
You'll never read another book like this. Brilliantly told story of the ultimate tree hugger
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews