The Commandment We Forgot

Cruciform Quick

by Tim Challies

We are all children, we ought to pursue God’s blessings, and we need to give prominence to God’s prominent command. For these reasons, we can no longer ignore the forgotten fifth Honor your father and your mother.

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This commandment is not just for children. Rather, it pertains to the whole of life and to every person of every age. In the home, the church, and the workplace, it provides a stable foundation for all of society. Yet, we often neglect it and fail to appreciate its relevance to our lives. It is the commandment we forgot.

This booklet is a brief exploration of the fifth Honor your father and your mother. It answers important questions relevant to every Does this commandment expire when we move out of our parents’ home and gain our independence? Does it cease being relevant once we are married? Is obedience synonymous with honor? Do we need to be prepared to provide for them financially? What if our parents are especially difficult or unworthy of respect?

My hope is that this book will restore the centrality of the fifth commandment, even and especially to adults. Let’s look together to the Bible and, ultimately, to Jesus Christ as the perfect fulfillment of the commandment we forgot.

–Tim Challies

Genres: Christian Living

58 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2017

About the author

Tim Challies is a leading evangelical blogger. A self-employed web designer, Tim lives in the outskirts of Toronto, Ontario with his wife and children.

Reviews

[Naná Castillo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Um livro curto, prático, certeiro e corajoso. Todos deveriam let!

[Hayley Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

An eye opener on the true meaning of biblical honor and obedience for all ages!

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a young parent, I have given much thought to the fifth commandment: Honor your father and mother. What will this look like in our home? What should I expect of my kids?

And maybe more importantly: How do I make sure I am obeying this command as I relate to my own parents? In The Commandment We Forgot, Tim Challies explains how we can all seek to obey this commandment and honor our parents.

Honor Versus Obey

At just around 50 pages, Challies takes 7 chapters to help us think through this issue. He first reminds us that the Bible tells us to honor our parents, not necessarily to obey them. We look at Jesus who was able to do both so well, and he is our example and our Savior for when we fall short.

What I appreciated most about Challies’ writing is his ability to speak about how different cultures honor their parents. He highlights a culture of autonomy versus a culture of authority, and he makes it clear that we must think through these issues carefully and Biblically.

Practical for Parents

This book is practical, and the tips he gives us for honoring our parents are to forgive them, speak well of them, esteem them publicly and privately, seek their wisdom, support them, and provide for them. He goes into detail, especially in how they relate to matters of money.

I appreciate how Challies acknowledges the different family dynamics that play a role in what obeying this command may look like. As our first son was adopted, this book helped me gain a helpful perspective on the different positions and relationships at play. The book ends with a call to parents to be worthy of honor. I am challenged as a young parent to pursue it with all of my might.

I received a media copy of The Commandment We Forgot and this is my honest review.

[David Sanford · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you for your well-written booklet, "The Commandment We Forget." Your statement, "There is no exception for bad governments or bad parents" (page 43), however, appears to overlook the following biblical points.

The Bible itself shows that 3 of the Ten Commandments (commandments that prohibit the unjust abuse of others) can and should be broken in cases of great un-repented sins by specific people(s).

We see this in Numbers 21 and 31 and repeatedly in Joshua, where “Do Not Kill” and “Do Not Steal” are superseded by the Lord’s commands to destroy terribly wicked peoples (who had centuries to repent but didn’t) and, in most cases, take their wealth for the Lord and the Lord’s people.

We also see this repeatedly in 2 Kings and 2 Chronicles where the son of terribly wicked parents (a) repudiates their sins, (b) destroys their idols, and (c) leads a massive revival (often with the help of godly priests).

In the former cases, the Lord commanded what happened. In the latter cases, the godly son knew what needed to be done in order to honor the Lord and call His people back to the Lord.

Would you please be sure to address these two sets of exceptions in an updated edition of your booklet?

If so, it would more fully represent Scripture's clear-cut record, don't you think? (Written as the executive editor of two major study Bibles.)

[Justin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Brief crash course on the fifth commandment with helpful additional Scripture references to pay closest attention to. Unabashedly reads like a series of shallow blog posts -- book recommendations, lip-service to the existence of "local churches" and "elders" to "navigate" "complex" circumstances and especially "the hard things" (no answers, just acknowledging they exist) -- offered up for sale in print.

While everything in the book is doctrinally correct, if one's intent is to "navigate" the fifth commandment at a deeper level than in one sitting, then it would be best to look elsewhere. The bibliography makes reference to Dennis Rainey's The Forgotten Commandment (go figure), so I bought that one as soon as I put this one down.

[Lynette Moon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A need to read.

I tried once to explain my need to be honored as a mum. I was asked "so you want me to put you on a pedestal and bow down before you?" Being loved and respected is being honored was my answer.
Would be great if this wonderful, anointed book was read by those who believe that honouring one's mum means the same. My parents were far from perfect but they were honored. A must read, truly a must read for those who want to be Blessed by obeying this 5th Commandment in a way that pleases their parent but mostly their Awesome Heavenly Father who indeed knows best.
Thank you Tim Challies for this simple to understand explanation of the Commandment that has indeed been forgotten. I pray it be read to enable it be remembered once more.

[Rodrigo Santos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Se você deseja aprofundar um pouco mais sobre o quinto mandamento, recomendo esse livreto. O autor aborda o mandamento “honra teu pai e tua mãe” e como ele se desenvolve na vida prática dos filhos, além de tratar também com os pais. Excelente leitura, muito edificante. Recomendo.

[Paul Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Book on the 5th commandment. I appreciate these Cruciform shorts. Small books but so applicable and helpful in shedding light on areas we may struggle with walking in.

This particular one on honoring your parents was very helpful and I commend it to anyone.

[Jasanna Czellar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having gone through a lot regarding this topic, this was a helpful and informative read. It's a perfect bit-size for an evening. Filled with Scripture to back up Tim's perspective. I would agree with him. Some of the challenges he gives from the Bible, however, are a little frightening, such as financially providing for parents as they age. There were a few pieces in here that I hadn't thought of before, but I really appreciated the straight-forwardness of the book, as well as the gentleness.

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good reminder of why the law is still important today

[Nick Roark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful