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黄河青山：黄仁宇回忆录
《黄河青山》是规模宏大的回忆录，从作者早年的从军经历到壮年时期在美国打工、求学、无所不包；本书又是一部眼光非凡的“大历史”，检讨中国近代革命，统摄几千年的中国历史进程；黄仁宇传递给我们他脱胎于悠久文化的壮阔史观，即使他对此文化不无批评之处。他的文字浅显明白，就算毫无背景的人也读得懂。也许正因为这样，美国大文豪厄卜代克才形容他的文笔仿佛具备卡夫卡的梦幻特质。
黄仁宇的回忆录共有36万字篇幅，自述生平经历与学术研究经验，并具小说叙述的技巧。全书定名为《黄河青山》（Yellow River and Blue Mountains）；分为两大部分：“自己的浴室”、“我所付出的代价”；书前并有多幅珍贵的个人及历史照片。
黄仁宇的回忆录共有36万字篇幅，自述生平经历与学术研究经验，并具小说叙述的技巧。全书定名为《黄河青山》（Yellow River and Blue Mountains）；分为两大部分：“自己的浴室”、“我所付出的代价”；书前并有多幅珍贵的个人及历史照片。
583 pages, Paperback
First published January 5, 2001
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August 31, 2022
非常好的文笔。把个人经历和学术观点结合起来，写作笔法也非常讲究。
June 1, 2018
Ch1.1 Mainland (Day 1, 05.25.2018)
* From Huang’s teen-age, he was an intelligent, meek and driven young man. The abruption of war interrupted his undergraduate education. He made up his mind to join army, from one party to another party. In his observation, one party focused on your determination and loyalty inside, and did not pay attention to outside; while the other party was rigid on the uniformity of the appearance, and did not care about your inner thought.
* In the military school, he discovered the absurd aspect of the training routine, and the army executive structure. The trainings include 立正，转弯，敬礼，with the purpose of making students good at mindful concentration, instead of physical strengthen. Huang called it “颇有禅宗的味道” (Zen-dude). Huang’s analysis of this situation is that from the ancient time in China, it was very difficult for the superior emperor to do lean administration with accurate statistic data, while the practical and efficient way to control the considerable domain was to create a pattern and ordered the subordinate to copy and paste it from the high to the low. Which makes everyone has the same subject and individual object.
* During that time, he also touched journalism, and befriended with several people who later became important figures in the Chinese press.
Ch1.2 Myanmar & India (Day 2, 05.26.2018)
1.2.1Huang@Myanmar
Due to personal habit and the tradition in Chinese military, the Gemo entitled Stilwell while transferring no power to him. Due to the Peter Principle, the officer who has achieved his supreme level will be incapable in someway, while it is necessary for him to delegate works and decentralize power. Chiang disobeyed this law. The split between military power and political power, the distrust between Chinese army and American high-level officers, mixed with diplomat concerns distract the strengthen of this troop. It failed in Myanmar.
1.2.2 Huang@India
Among the lower level army, there were distrust and contempt. Among the higher lever officers, the distrust developed into personal hatred.
As a newbie in India, Huang found it different to distinguish the British from Americans.As a newbie in India, Huang found it different to distinguish the British from Americans. He found it was naive to consider American offering food and materials to Chinese as friendly and generous behavior. He was disguised by their means (offering help), without checking out their ends (take benefit from Chinese military power).
1.2.3 Huang as a military reporter.
He pretty much enjoyed his battlefield journey, as a military reporter in the front line. They tried to be hired as an intelligence officer, but failed in being regard as incapability. They also tried to get a unique set of encrypted code, in which they were told “any codes are the product of compromise, depending on how long and how often it will be used, it will eventually be broken by the opponent.” (which remains me of 麦家的那几本）
Huang kept an organized routine in the war time, when he was setting to the front, and ran chores to help the local officers won him gratefulness and respect.
The fear intimidated him and excited him. He blatantly confessed his not-so-brave character, which will showed physically shut down when near the enemy’s weapon, he still felt intrigued to get close to the front. He concluded: in normal time, people tend to play stay; in danger, people prefer running risk.
1.2.4 Huang touched journalism
He did part-time job in a journalism, on which he written about trivia and daily situations in the paper. In the real battlefield, death was not a too heavy topic. People joke about it, talked about it light. His comrade warned him of bomb in a playful tone. Soldiers were not passionate for play the hero role, did not take injury seriously. All of these daily pieces educated him about war, death and normal life.
He got very close to death and dead body.
The other result he got from war was that: it made him rich, from the salary and the sold-out of personal items.
1.3. Shanghai
Huang’s life in Shanghai was “Chill out”. Dating with cuties, learning to dance, getting benefit from the currency trade, in his early thirties, wondering between entering school or just working in journalism, not having up his mind, Huang was like a bird in Shanghai.
To my surprise, it was his girl opened the door to the multi-culture world to him. Ann, who was way mature and bright than Huang, guided him to strive in his English learning, giving him books to read, watching no-subtitle foreign movies with him.
Huang was very weak at making decision for himself. When it comes to romance, his pattern was hit-and-hide. He constantly jiggled between two girls, and then convinced himself that “I don’t whether it is this girl I fell in love with, or the culture she represents, or even both are identical”
He also tried to decode the history movement from the point of culture. He thought the wartime brought western culture to the Mainland in such a short period, which is absolutely a pulse making the situation chaos. When it pushed too hard, the time comes to hold it back. Back and forth, here comes the history.
Ch2 Princeton, New Jersey
这是讲述黄美国生活的第一部分，好看，好玩。(♥∀♥)
黄仁宇应该和Robert Caro谈一谈，都是搞报告文学的好材料。
In this chapter, Huang really had became my very dear friend.
The first challenge he got is very American: Public speaking.
Truly, the obstacle is the way. No one can ever imagine the origin of The Marco History is from the rigid rule that Huang had to teach through thousands of years Chinese history in 45 minutes. He brainstormed original thoughts and than did the linking. Meanwhile, his mental work had developed into Macro History.
He was hired in the golden time of that small college, with a dictator as the president, who made interesting rigid rules: “Every student cannot fail to touch un-western culture. Studying Asian or African culture is a requirement for graduation.” Which was rare at that time in the rural campus.
What easy comes, easy goes away. He was resigned from his tenure position, which he regarded as his life-long shame and disgrace, a token of his incapability, a scar that hurt his wife and kid. It was also a stop sign to his struggle to publish <1587>. Due to his nearsighted of other opportunity, remoteness from elite groups and his senior citizen physical condition, he successfully marginalized himself from the power in the university and from a decent job. 1979 is a year we hear him suffer and moan at the age of 61.
There are some other obstacles that stops <1587> published: the book itself is a walking paradox. As an academic working, it should be shaped into certain patterns, respect “form over substance”; while as a commercial publication, his book should be more eye-hooking, detailed in anecdotes.
At the end of the day, universally, the breakthrough of every great man’s career is along with the sacrifice of their lady, in the sacrifice of their privacy.
Ch2.2 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor (1952-1964) (Day 3, 05.28.2018)
Huang recorded his experiences of selling labor in every conceivable jobs to earn a living and support higher education. It was really inspiring and eye-opening. He pretty much respect labor job: doing 3-4 hours physical labor working and earning the living for the day made him regain self-worthy and stay secured.
In UM, he studies pervasive American history and Japanese history. He divided his historian apprentice phases into three phrases: craftsman, technician and thinker. He got the necessary training for the first two phases in UM.
Ch2.3 More about UM (12 years)
* Huang mentioned Tian Han, a play writer, in this chapter. And Tian’s character, which is carefree, spontaneous, and sometimes emotional, built his connection with high level military officers in the party. Huang was inspired by Tian a lot and recognized the power of literature and art in propaganda and politics.
* The personality of Commander and General matters a lot in the war. Humorous, even naughty, helped them carry on and take risk in the hard time. Under the attack of Japanese bomb, they still get drunk hard.
* Huang analyzed their failure of journalism in Changsha at that War time. He concluded: It is the Economy that determined our fate. He also discovered the discrepancy in the nature of journalism as a career: the creative writing weighs little in this business, due to its miserable commercial value.
* Huang’s view of moral and destiny in the core of this chapter. Moral to him is of two standards, which is difficult to judge and choose. While the determination of destiny detached himself from his daily worry and inspired his academic work.
Ch2.4 - The Wandering Mind and Reflection of an Historian (Day 4, 05.29.2018)
* Huang was grateful his experience, and not under the pressure of collectivization, he developed his ability of independent thinking.
* His dialectical thinking contantly teaches me how difficult it is to judge.
* 他的奇思妙想真是有够有趣。”劳力密集“型革命，哈哈哈。
* In his view, the two parties were real co-workers not opponents at the War time.
* 我是一个看任何书都有可能笑出声来的人。 看这章，差点笑坏了肚子。
Ch 2.5 - Cambridge, Massachusetts
This Chapter is anything but his self-talk and memory inventory.
* It was lovely and wonderful, that Huang spent 2.5 years on reading 明实录, the reading journey was long enough for his baby boy in cradle to grow from a toddler to ride a bicycle .
* I enjoyed reading how he got comments on his writing, even his English. And I couldn’t agree more on “大历史一定要架构于小历史之上”。 Yup! First, break down, then chunk up.
* 看到他字里行间的决心与恒心，看他回味之前的困难于挣扎，与我心有戚戚焉。要剖析自己，肚脐展览在所不惜。Navel-gazing is not bad in meaning-searching and self-analysis. His memoir helps me do my own reflection, morally and spiritually.
* This is so relatable. Rent apartment, hit the due, procrastinate. The obstacle is the way. He got inspired by the taking criticism and built judgment on that. 不破不立，一破一立。He put the criticism away first. Done is better than perfect. He had made up his mind to finish the first draft first. He also mentioned he used index card to do research, so did Robert Greene, Ryan Holiday and Vladimir Nabokov. “她完全没有办法使用餐桌，因为已经变成我的工作台，放置打字机、索引卡、成堆的书和纸张。”
* 类似于王小波是文坛外天才，黄仁宇似乎是一个野生的学术者。Both of them as outsiders brought something new to the table.
* Commercial value of <十六世纪明代中国之财政与税收> at that time (1974-2000): $55 * 850 = 46,750. Budget for research = 10K. You do the math.
Ch 2.6. War and traveling (Day 5, 05.30.2018)
Only read on to this chapter, I started to realize that how important War is to a man. How important traveling is to a family.
学术界的魔幻主义- 炫丽华艳の李约瑟
Far from boring, 李约瑟博士’s academic work seems a magic whip to Huang. Blow other western mind.
黄和李约瑟相处愉快，心里信里，那叫一个 甜甜甜。I almost read this part as a love story. Huang cannot take eyes out of Needham. They enjoyed the company of each other, academically and mentally.
It is astonishing how professional husband consume their wife. And he also had affairs with 鲁桂珍博士, which his wife endured for years until her own death.
Ch 2.8 Victim of ignorance (Day 6, 05.31.2018)
恶意の亚瑟·莱特？Arthur Wright 's love and poison
* As a historian, Huang may be familiar with Chinese history and government system. However, in this chapter he did not decline to expose his naive and innocent view toward the western hierarchy. It is a proof of his ignorance towards western world that he used the term “不带人治色彩的数百年管理经验” to describe western wisdom in management. Meanwhile, his personal failure can be taken as another proof that how big heads, key figures or even personality (人治) are defining the fate of his career in stealth mode.
* In searching the meaning of his failure, he tried his sincerely best to discover it from several perspectives. The biggest puzzle he cannot solve is that why the nice-and-kind Arthur Wright declined him in such a way. He tried to figure it out, personally and academically. Personally: He found Wright was very much fond of him and welcomed him every time. Academically: He and Wright gradually shared the same attitude towards Chinese issue, not hide the dark side, but to reveal it objectively. They are friends on both sides.
* The only reason may be that Wright ran a business, and if Huang would like to benefit from it, he need to be part of it. Wright was an old-fashion gentleman and philanthropist, who handled academic work in a business way. He did not take everything personally as Huang did. Though Wright was more than friendly to Huang, W was exceedingly opinioned , as a famous scholar. Wright planned to shape Huang’s work in his way, gave him specific criticism , and maneuvered him in a gentle way. This business/game was ended by Wright’s sudden unexpected death.
在美国研究中国的顶尖学者中，亚瑟·弗雷德烈克·莱特以善于筹募推动研究款项而闻名。费正清、史景迁、崔瑞德教授在《亚洲研究期刊》登出的讣闻中形容他是“古典学家兼企业家”。对反商的中国传统派人士来说，这样的说法谈不上是赞美。必须先概略知道我们这一行，才能更了解这句话。
* Huang just could not figure it out.
* Huang finally used this period of experience as a confess of his identity issue: How he identify himself, Chinese, American, American Chinese, or Chinese American? He thought his identification had influence on his academic attitude, which in turn results in the failure of his publication.
* What he wants to tell his son is what he said to himself, regarding immigrants and identity issue.:
有一天他或许可以理解，美国是殖民的国家。我们这些外来的子民不只是一个友善国家的客人，还要以归化公民的身份成为积极的参与者，我们形形色色的背景和经验必须丰富美国的生活。对华裔美国人来说，抱怨不幸的中国佬被别人欺负的时代已经过去。身为少数族裔的我们，有更多的道德负担，必须展示我们的性格和优点。殖民村的设��也让我更确定，自由是超越的因素，没有固定的经济价值。美洲早期的移民必须长时期过着公社般的生活，彼此紧密联系，等到后代子孙才可能冒险进入空旷的原野，满足自己的选择自由、幻想和个人主义。
* Huang’s reading list:
《美国与中国》（The United States and China） by 费正清
《翻身》 by 威廉·辛顿 Willam Hinton （韩丁）
* From Huang’s teen-age, he was an intelligent, meek and driven young man. The abruption of war interrupted his undergraduate education. He made up his mind to join army, from one party to another party. In his observation, one party focused on your determination and loyalty inside, and did not pay attention to outside; while the other party was rigid on the uniformity of the appearance, and did not care about your inner thought.
* In the military school, he discovered the absurd aspect of the training routine, and the army executive structure. The trainings include 立正，转弯，敬礼，with the purpose of making students good at mindful concentration, instead of physical strengthen. Huang called it “颇有禅宗的味道” (Zen-dude). Huang’s analysis of this situation is that from the ancient time in China, it was very difficult for the superior emperor to do lean administration with accurate statistic data, while the practical and efficient way to control the considerable domain was to create a pattern and ordered the subordinate to copy and paste it from the high to the low. Which makes everyone has the same subject and individual object.
* During that time, he also touched journalism, and befriended with several people who later became important figures in the Chinese press.
Ch1.2 Myanmar & India (Day 2, 05.26.2018)
1.2.1Huang@Myanmar
Due to personal habit and the tradition in Chinese military, the Gemo entitled Stilwell while transferring no power to him. Due to the Peter Principle, the officer who has achieved his supreme level will be incapable in someway, while it is necessary for him to delegate works and decentralize power. Chiang disobeyed this law. The split between military power and political power, the distrust between Chinese army and American high-level officers, mixed with diplomat concerns distract the strengthen of this troop. It failed in Myanmar.
1.2.2 Huang@India
Among the lower level army, there were distrust and contempt. Among the higher lever officers, the distrust developed into personal hatred.
As a newbie in India, Huang found it different to distinguish the British from Americans.As a newbie in India, Huang found it different to distinguish the British from Americans. He found it was naive to consider American offering food and materials to Chinese as friendly and generous behavior. He was disguised by their means (offering help), without checking out their ends (take benefit from Chinese military power).
1.2.3 Huang as a military reporter.
He pretty much enjoyed his battlefield journey, as a military reporter in the front line. They tried to be hired as an intelligence officer, but failed in being regard as incapability. They also tried to get a unique set of encrypted code, in which they were told “any codes are the product of compromise, depending on how long and how often it will be used, it will eventually be broken by the opponent.” (which remains me of 麦家的那几本）
Huang kept an organized routine in the war time, when he was setting to the front, and ran chores to help the local officers won him gratefulness and respect.
The fear intimidated him and excited him. He blatantly confessed his not-so-brave character, which will showed physically shut down when near the enemy’s weapon, he still felt intrigued to get close to the front. He concluded: in normal time, people tend to play stay; in danger, people prefer running risk.
1.2.4 Huang touched journalism
He did part-time job in a journalism, on which he written about trivia and daily situations in the paper. In the real battlefield, death was not a too heavy topic. People joke about it, talked about it light. His comrade warned him of bomb in a playful tone. Soldiers were not passionate for play the hero role, did not take injury seriously. All of these daily pieces educated him about war, death and normal life.
He got very close to death and dead body.
The other result he got from war was that: it made him rich, from the salary and the sold-out of personal items.
1.3. Shanghai
Huang’s life in Shanghai was “Chill out”. Dating with cuties, learning to dance, getting benefit from the currency trade, in his early thirties, wondering between entering school or just working in journalism, not having up his mind, Huang was like a bird in Shanghai.
To my surprise, it was his girl opened the door to the multi-culture world to him. Ann, who was way mature and bright than Huang, guided him to strive in his English learning, giving him books to read, watching no-subtitle foreign movies with him.
Huang was very weak at making decision for himself. When it comes to romance, his pattern was hit-and-hide. He constantly jiggled between two girls, and then convinced himself that “I don’t whether it is this girl I fell in love with, or the culture she represents, or even both are identical”
He also tried to decode the history movement from the point of culture. He thought the wartime brought western culture to the Mainland in such a short period, which is absolutely a pulse making the situation chaos. When it pushed too hard, the time comes to hold it back. Back and forth, here comes the history.
Ch2 Princeton, New Jersey
这是讲述黄美国生活的第一部分，好看，好玩。(♥∀♥)
黄仁宇应该和Robert Caro谈一谈，都是搞报告文学的好材料。
In this chapter, Huang really had became my very dear friend.
The first challenge he got is very American: Public speaking.
Truly, the obstacle is the way. No one can ever imagine the origin of The Marco History is from the rigid rule that Huang had to teach through thousands of years Chinese history in 45 minutes. He brainstormed original thoughts and than did the linking. Meanwhile, his mental work had developed into Macro History.
He was hired in the golden time of that small college, with a dictator as the president, who made interesting rigid rules: “Every student cannot fail to touch un-western culture. Studying Asian or African culture is a requirement for graduation.” Which was rare at that time in the rural campus.
What easy comes, easy goes away. He was resigned from his tenure position, which he regarded as his life-long shame and disgrace, a token of his incapability, a scar that hurt his wife and kid. It was also a stop sign to his struggle to publish <1587>. Due to his nearsighted of other opportunity, remoteness from elite groups and his senior citizen physical condition, he successfully marginalized himself from the power in the university and from a decent job. 1979 is a year we hear him suffer and moan at the age of 61.
There are some other obstacles that stops <1587> published: the book itself is a walking paradox. As an academic working, it should be shaped into certain patterns, respect “form over substance”; while as a commercial publication, his book should be more eye-hooking, detailed in anecdotes.
At the end of the day, universally, the breakthrough of every great man’s career is along with the sacrifice of their lady, in the sacrifice of their privacy.
Ch2.2 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor (1952-1964) (Day 3, 05.28.2018)
Huang recorded his experiences of selling labor in every conceivable jobs to earn a living and support higher education. It was really inspiring and eye-opening. He pretty much respect labor job: doing 3-4 hours physical labor working and earning the living for the day made him regain self-worthy and stay secured.
In UM, he studies pervasive American history and Japanese history. He divided his historian apprentice phases into three phrases: craftsman, technician and thinker. He got the necessary training for the first two phases in UM.
Ch2.3 More about UM (12 years)
* Huang mentioned Tian Han, a play writer, in this chapter. And Tian’s character, which is carefree, spontaneous, and sometimes emotional, built his connection with high level military officers in the party. Huang was inspired by Tian a lot and recognized the power of literature and art in propaganda and politics.
* The personality of Commander and General matters a lot in the war. Humorous, even naughty, helped them carry on and take risk in the hard time. Under the attack of Japanese bomb, they still get drunk hard.
* Huang analyzed their failure of journalism in Changsha at that War time. He concluded: It is the Economy that determined our fate. He also discovered the discrepancy in the nature of journalism as a career: the creative writing weighs little in this business, due to its miserable commercial value.
* Huang’s view of moral and destiny in the core of this chapter. Moral to him is of two standards, which is difficult to judge and choose. While the determination of destiny detached himself from his daily worry and inspired his academic work.
Ch2.4 - The Wandering Mind and Reflection of an Historian (Day 4, 05.29.2018)
* Huang was grateful his experience, and not under the pressure of collectivization, he developed his ability of independent thinking.
* His dialectical thinking contantly teaches me how difficult it is to judge.
* 他的奇思妙想真是有够有趣。”劳力密集“型革命，哈哈哈。
* In his view, the two parties were real co-workers not opponents at the War time.
* 我是一个看任何书都有可能笑出声来的人。 看这章，差点笑坏了肚子。
Ch 2.5 - Cambridge, Massachusetts
This Chapter is anything but his self-talk and memory inventory.
* It was lovely and wonderful, that Huang spent 2.5 years on reading 明实录, the reading journey was long enough for his baby boy in cradle to grow from a toddler to ride a bicycle .
* I enjoyed reading how he got comments on his writing, even his English. And I couldn’t agree more on “大历史一定要架构于小历史之上”。 Yup! First, break down, then chunk up.
* 看到他字里行间的决心与恒心，看他回味之前的困难于挣扎，与我心有戚戚焉。要剖析自己，肚脐展览在所不惜。Navel-gazing is not bad in meaning-searching and self-analysis. His memoir helps me do my own reflection, morally and spiritually.
* This is so relatable. Rent apartment, hit the due, procrastinate. The obstacle is the way. He got inspired by the taking criticism and built judgment on that. 不破不立，一破一立。He put the criticism away first. Done is better than perfect. He had made up his mind to finish the first draft first. He also mentioned he used index card to do research, so did Robert Greene, Ryan Holiday and Vladimir Nabokov. “她完全没有办法使用餐桌，因为已经变成我的工作台，放置打字机、索引卡、成堆的书和纸张。”
* 类似于王小波是文坛外天才，黄仁宇似乎是一个野生的学术者。Both of them as outsiders brought something new to the table.
* Commercial value of <十六世纪明代中国之财政与税收> at that time (1974-2000): $55 * 850 = 46,750. Budget for research = 10K. You do the math.
Ch 2.6. War and traveling (Day 5, 05.30.2018)
Only read on to this chapter, I started to realize that how important War is to a man. How important traveling is to a family.
学术界的魔幻主义- 炫丽华艳の李约瑟
Far from boring, 李约瑟博士’s academic work seems a magic whip to Huang. Blow other western mind.
黄和李约瑟相处愉快，心里信里，那叫一个 甜甜甜。I almost read this part as a love story. Huang cannot take eyes out of Needham. They enjoyed the company of each other, academically and mentally.
It is astonishing how professional husband consume their wife. And he also had affairs with 鲁桂珍博士, which his wife endured for years until her own death.
Ch 2.8 Victim of ignorance (Day 6, 05.31.2018)
恶意の亚瑟·莱特？Arthur Wright 's love and poison
* As a historian, Huang may be familiar with Chinese history and government system. However, in this chapter he did not decline to expose his naive and innocent view toward the western hierarchy. It is a proof of his ignorance towards western world that he used the term “不带人治色彩的数百年管理经验” to describe western wisdom in management. Meanwhile, his personal failure can be taken as another proof that how big heads, key figures or even personality (人治) are defining the fate of his career in stealth mode.
* In searching the meaning of his failure, he tried his sincerely best to discover it from several perspectives. The biggest puzzle he cannot solve is that why the nice-and-kind Arthur Wright declined him in such a way. He tried to figure it out, personally and academically. Personally: He found Wright was very much fond of him and welcomed him every time. Academically: He and Wright gradually shared the same attitude towards Chinese issue, not hide the dark side, but to reveal it objectively. They are friends on both sides.
* The only reason may be that Wright ran a business, and if Huang would like to benefit from it, he need to be part of it. Wright was an old-fashion gentleman and philanthropist, who handled academic work in a business way. He did not take everything personally as Huang did. Though Wright was more than friendly to Huang, W was exceedingly opinioned , as a famous scholar. Wright planned to shape Huang’s work in his way, gave him specific criticism , and maneuvered him in a gentle way. This business/game was ended by Wright’s sudden unexpected death.
在美国研究中国的顶尖学者中，亚瑟·弗雷德烈克·莱特以善于筹募推动研究款项而闻名。费正清、史景迁、崔瑞德教授在《亚洲研究期刊》登出的讣闻中形容他是“古典学家兼企业家”。对反商的中国传统派人士来说，这样的说法谈不上是赞美。必须先概略知道我们这一行，才能更了解这句话。
* Huang just could not figure it out.
* Huang finally used this period of experience as a confess of his identity issue: How he identify himself, Chinese, American, American Chinese, or Chinese American? He thought his identification had influence on his academic attitude, which in turn results in the failure of his publication.
* What he wants to tell his son is what he said to himself, regarding immigrants and identity issue.:
有一天他或许可以理解，美国是殖民的国家。我们这些外来的子民不只是一个友善国家的客人，还要以归化公民的身份成为积极的参与者，我们形形色色的背景和经验必须丰富美国的生活。对华裔美国人来说，抱怨不幸的中国佬被别人欺负的时代已经过去。身为少数族裔的我们，有更多的道德负担，必须展示我们的性格和优点。殖民村的设��也让我更确定，自由是超越的因素，没有固定的经济价值。美洲早期的移民必须长时期过着公社般的生活，彼此紧密联系，等到后代子孙才可能冒险进入空旷的原野，满足自己的选择自由、幻想和个人主义。
* Huang’s reading list:
《美国与中国》（The United States and China） by 费正清
《翻身》 by 威廉·辛顿 Willam Hinton （韩丁）
September 9, 2020
历史与历史学家——黄仁宇与他的《万历十五年》
浴室
1945年于中国而言，是抗战胜利之年。历史学家伊恩·布鲁玛为这一年写了一本书，讲述战争的结束，与历史的重新开始。他在书中称这一年为「零年」。而此时的黄仁宇，则陷入了一场「一开始就注定挫败」的恋爱之中，他对他称之为「安」的女孩子一见倾心。安的父亲曾显赫于中国的外交领域，「她家在前法国租界的西区，房子是西式风格，每一层楼都有浴室」。但他此时却「阮囊羞涩，当兵这个职业的地位，在对日抗战后达到巅峰——也许还是数百年来的最高点——已逐渐掉回原先的低点，甚至更低。……身为上尉的我……我的母亲、弟弟及妹妹仍然住在重庆的山间破屋中，甚至没有自来水可用，更不要说每一层都有浴室了。」1945年八月，日军投降，黄仁宇跟随郑洞国将军乘坐飞机来到上海，奉命接收上海及国都南京，他就是在这一时期认识了安。此时战争对于中国来说尚未结束，国共两党的冲突正在零星的发生，对于抗战胜利的狂热喜悦已经开始逐渐褪去。黄在回忆录中这样解释他这段感情终结的必然： 「军队充当安全网，让我不必去思考个人的前途、婚姻、经济独立或职业。……现在战争结束了，我第一次有机会面对横在眼前的问题。」也是由此，「浴室」对于黄仁宇来说，有着别样的含义。
后来成为了台湾一代文学大师的王鼎钧，回忆起他在1946年来到上海的时候，「我爱自来水，在家乡，饮水多么难，挑水多么苦，我干过挑水的活儿，曾经掉进井里。……大上海神通大，你只消伸出三个指头，轻轻转动龙头的旋钮清水就哗啦哗啦流出来，……听那哗哗的水声真有些心疼，几乎流下眼泪。」王鼎钧在此前的一年还是个初中刚毕业的流亡学生，受到一位前来招兵的宪兵连长的「欺骗」，接受新兵训练后成为了一名宪兵。并在1946年从上海出发，前往东北。也是这一年的2月，黄仁宇跟随郑洞国将军的幕僚群前往东北。幸而在这年6月他作为军官踏上了去美国留学的轮船。而对于王鼎钧来说，在东北被共产党军队俘虏，一路南下逃亡。两年零十一个月后，又由从上海出发，仓皇逃往台湾。水，就这样作为一种印记，刻在了大时代中小人物的无常命运里。
1937年抗战爆发，当时在南开大学读书的黄仁宇决定参军，他希望能成为拿破仑一样的人物。他遵从了父亲建议，考进了成都的中央军校，经过两年的军事训练，进入国民党军第十四师，驻守紧邻已被日军占领的越南的云南边境，成为了一名战地军官。越野行军中物资匮乏，运输十分困难，不得不去向村民「征用」驴子，但驴子也数量有限。战斗人员也难以补充，「丢了一名士兵，从此就永远少一名」。军官们还不得不包围他们最重要的步枪，「山头上的土匪开出每枝枪七千元的条件，而且保障携枪逃亡者的安全。我们的兵士每月薪饷十二元，身为上尉的我，月薪也不过四十元。」更令人丧气的是军队组织本身，营里的副官在黄企图改造一名滥竽充数的士兵失败后，对他说：「你们这些军校来的人老是自以为是！想把这种人改造成军人？门都没有！」并向他解释，战斗中要依靠受过射击训练的人，由师里组织训练队进行专门训练，而黄所在的这一连，只有四人受过训练。抱着想成为拿破仑的想法放弃学业转而参军的黄仁宇感到失望：「我曾经幻想当拿破仑，但是眼见这样的局势，如果拿破仑大军从莫斯科撤退时，我能置身后卫，就很荣幸了。」
在珍珠港事变的前一周，黄仁宇的父亲过世。黄仁宇由此离开了第十四师，在安顿好家中事务之后，他来到了首都卫戍司令部从事文书工作。在1943年2月，黄仁宇被派驻到印度蓝伽营地，加入驻印远征军。黄仁宇由此可以近距离观察到，当时国民党军队高层的运行状况，以及当时驻印美军的指挥系统。由于第一次缅甸战役中，虽然出于外交考量，史迪威虽然被授予总指挥的职务，但出于中国军队的传统和个人习惯，蒋介石从未放弃直接指挥下属的权力，这引起了史迪威极大的怨恨。对此，黄仁宇是如此解释当时国民党军队自身的困境，「国民党的所有问题在于，它打算动员过时的农业社会，打一场现代的战争。中国的军队需要现代工业的支持，但事实上在我们背后的，只有村落单位的庞大集结。我们的上层组织，无论是民间或军方，有许多漏洞和罅隙，必须以私人关系及非常手段去填补。」也正因为如此，黄所在的新一军总部完全被美军指挥部所架空，只能负责维持中国部队的军纪。经过了数次抗议之后，美国仍然坚定在指挥权上不退让，「美国人有一套联络官和口译人员的联络网，遍布中国军队中，可下达营这一级。我们都是透过下层单位，间接知道指挥部的指令。」在驻印度和缅甸的岁月里，与美军接触的经历对他之后「大历史观」的形成，产生了重要的影响。
1947年夏，黄仁宇留学归来。1949年年初，人民解放军准备渡过长江，而此时的黄仁宇加入了中华民国驻日本代表团。并成为了驻日代表团团长朱世明的副官。1950年1月26日，黄仁宇代表蒋介石送给麦克阿瑟将军圣诞礼物——一株象征长寿的盆栽。「对国民党驻外人员来说，1949年是艰困的一年。」他这样回忆在日本的那段时光，中华人民共和国政府在北京成立，而台湾的流亡政府因而显得十分尴尬。除了苏联及其集团的国家外，印度、芬兰、瑞典等国相继承认新中国。而在此时，驻巴黎的使馆人员宣布效忠新中国，因而在台湾政府内部引起渲染大波。朱世明最终也被怀疑「亲共」，而作为他副官的黄仁宇，也受到了牵连。 「我随着朱世明将军到台北时，更加肯定我原先的想法：蒋介石必须包容身边的各种元素和人物。如果蒋介石比实际上能做主，他可以逮捕朱将军，或是让他继续当国民党的外交官。」 他回忆道：「为历史学家的我最后终于看到，对于国民党运动和其领导人蒋介石来说，命运赋予他们的行动范围相当有限。」最终朱世明仅被解职，而黄仁宇此时回到政治高压的台湾已非一个好选项，最终黄仁宇来到了美国，准备继续学业。
一开始黄仁宇在密西根大学主修新闻学，但「不会说道地的美语，无法有一枝快笔符合截稿期限的要求，要找新闻界的工作非常难。」在此期间，黄对历史学的兴趣被激活，于是决定获得一个历史学博士学位，并以此谋取一份教职。
这样的一个决定看似偶然，对黄仁宇来说似乎又带着一些必然性，他说：「命运同时让我重述内战的前奏与后续。在有所领悟之前，我已经得天独厚，能成为观察者，而不是实行者，我应该心存感激。」黄仁宇是内战的亲历者，而他所谓的「前奏」，则是来源于他父亲对他的教导。他的父亲来自一个家道中落的地主家庭，在年近三十岁时加入了同盟会，并加入省立军校。军校毕业后成为许崇智将军的参谋长。辛亥革命成功后，袁世凯由宣布复辟，于是又有「二次革命」诞生。最终黄仁宇的父亲厌倦了革命，回到了湖南老家娶妻生子。黄仁宇说，「父亲和我相隔的这四十岁，代表整个家庭跳过了一代，也让我直接接触中国追求现代化过程的延长奋斗，这场奋斗在他之前就已展开，在我这一生恐怕还不会结束。」
台湾史学家陈正国后来如此评价黄仁宇：「黄仁宇是八○年代少数史家仍激切记得中国之苦难与落后的史家。他自诩为启蒙者；希望将他在穴洞外看到的光告诉读者。那个光就是现代化。」
至于浴室，在黄仁宇回忆录的第一部分末尾，他说道：「我几乎拥有自己的浴室。淋浴设备及马桶就在卧房旁，只不过近来水管有些问题。房子屋顶很高，因此正值青少年的儿子虽然已超过六英尺高，但可以自由自在行走奔跑，头也不会撞到门楣。不过，最近内人说，我们的暖气费用高得离谱，也许应该考虑搬家。」
旅人
「公元1587年，在中国为万历十五年，论干支则为丁亥，属猪……在历史上，万历十五年实为平平淡淡的一年。」黄仁宇就这样写就了他眼中的无关紧要的一年。「1587年，在西欧历史上为西班牙舰队全部出动征英的前一年。当年，在我国的朝廷上发生了若干为历史学家所易于忽视的事件。这些事件，表面看来虽似末端小节，但实质上确实以前发生大事的整症结，也是将在以后掀起波澜的机缘。」但这样的叙述显然不足以诠释这「无关紧要」之年的意涵。
这本名为《无关紧要的1587年：明王朝的衰落(1587，A Year of No Significance: The Ming Dynasty in Decline)》的书的初稿于1976年夏写就，但我们却能从之后的字里行间中看出作者当时的黯然心情，「在『四人帮』执政时代，当然不能盼望在中国出版。即使是英文版，也经历无数挫折。」直至1976年8月，「文革」终于结束，这本书终于有了一丝丝在大陆出版的希望。而这一年恰是美国建国的二百周年。
邓小平访美之后，《万历十五年》的书稿由友人郁哈维带给了国内的出版社，1979年3月，哈维给黄仁宇打去电话，表示中华书局原则上同意出这本书。黄仁宇回忆起那天的场景，「他无法理解，为何我接电话时一点也不热衷。原来他打电话这一天，……也就是考夫曼博士办公室来电的当天，邀请我次日和校长谈『大学最近删减预算对教职员的影响』。由传话的遣辞和秘书的口气，再加上当时纷纷谣传纽普兹将裁掉十五到二十位教师，我毫无疑问将被解聘。那时任何消息都不可能使我高兴。」
他在这一年被纽约州立大学纽帕兹分校解聘了，他说，「直到今天，只要想到1979年3月27日那一天，我的儿子如何接受这个令人不快的消息，我就觉得很难过。儿子知道他的父亲已被解聘，而许多同学的父母却在大学里有杰出表现。」这同时也令他担心起自己书稿的出版会因为随着自己被解聘而被腰斩。
然而，他所受到的挫折不止于此，他在回忆录中写道：「三年前我开始动手写这本书（指他的回忆录）的时候，只想着要一吐怨气。」而这怨气又从何而来呢？他说，「我最大的野心就是建立中国历史的类似综述，从我在纽帕兹教书以来，这念头就挥之不去，我也为此赌上了一切。」然而，「美国之研究汉学……注重分析，不注重综合。各大学执教的，都是专家，因为他们分工详尽，所以培养了无数青年学者，都戴上了显微镜的目光，对望远镜的观点，倒很少人注意；而且对学术的名目及型式，非常尊重」。因而，黄仁宇想法遭到了同行的冷遇。正如葛兆光所说：「至今那边学者还是不习惯这边学者的『宏大叙事』，更不喜欢这边学者以『本土经验』来解释历史，因为他们觉得如此庞大和复杂的历史，竟然可以采用这样的总体叙述，这是不可能的，也是不科学的。更何况，这种历史的叙述，居然还羼杂了对当下中国的感情和忧患，那更是不可接受。」
然而，黄仁宇对于历史学的研究，本身就带有着人文关怀的色彩。他说，「我所以成为历史学家，是因为自己颠沛流离，一切源于中国的动荡不安。」他需要追寻一个答案，那个致使中国落后于西方，致使自己与亲友拥有惨痛经历的原因。而在他的军旅生涯之中，他能够近距离观察国民党高层的运作。因而，他以为蒋介石的权力实际并不大，而通过私人关系运作的军队并不能仅仅以「腐败」概括了事。他在思考过程中，找到了方向，「我自己在国民党军队的经验让我上了一课：当代中国的背景必须回溯自帝制时期的过去。这些思绪让我转而研究明朝。如果东西双方的对立持续了一个半世纪之久，将背景往上延伸数百年并非不合理。无论如何，清代的政治历史受到外族统治的太多扭曲，后期又在与西方冲突阴影的笼罩之下。明朝是最后一个汉族统治的朝代，在体制上应该更能代表中国的特色。」
于是他的《万历十五年》结束于一个文人的死亡。所向读者展示的，是「经历了希腊悲剧经验，眼睁睁看着命运吞噬掉明君、佐国良臣与英雄」。是「历史上一部失败的总记录」。而吞噬这些英雄的则是传统的社会组织。作为一个幅员辽阔的帝国，各地的状况从来都不尽相同，完全的一致是绝无可能的。因而采取文化道德导向的治国之策，「在这样的情况下，掌握情势的唯一方法就是从智识的建构开始：宇宙是个单一的整体，公正贯穿其间。一切都处于平衡状态，一切都在天子的掌握中。有了智识上的共识，就可以设定通行全国的税制标准，……中国统治者过去宣布各式各样的财政法规，将土地划成正方形，以完整的耕地面积进行分配，村落中的户数刚好为一百户，全都如出一辙。政府根据事先拟定的区域配额来制定法律，如果情况允许就可以执行，法规无法执行时，就准许例外或法外施恩。整套方法可以说是『趋近观念』。」
正如黄仁宇在《明实录》中所发现的那样，「明代的政府财政非常奇怪，虽然缺乏整体的系统，但低层的地方会计用各种方式动手脚，让整体看起来很有秩序」。但这种秩序却像是经过篡改的结果，「明代开国时，政府从大草原和外国收集了一些马匹。……约四万匹种马转包给一般民家饲养，养马的人家可以不用缴税，但必须养好马匹……不久后的15世纪初期，官方『统计数字』显示，这一类别下的马匹数量已达数百万之谱。……显示原始的资料并不是来自于一匹一匹地清点，而是从每年固定的繁殖率累进而来。……到了一百五十年后的16世纪末期，政府决定把这些种马的价值换算成现金，结果发现马匹数量大概在十万匹左右，根本不是数百万。」
《万历十五年》所指出的，是道德并非万能，且道德不能代替技术。在技术改良前就诉诸于道德争辩，则难有妥协的余地。而吞噬着书中的英雄们的正是将技术问题尽量解释成道德问题的官僚组织，使用道德代替计算，而又通过道德的一致性来维护帝国的一致性，从而维系一个低效但稳定的基于小农社会的帝国。而就因为如此，黄仁宇也强调对于历史人物的评价也应脱离道德的评判，而是从技术主义视角去看看待历史人物当时的处境。他自认为自己能够这样做。他说，「我没有国家，这种无所归依的状态有时让人觉得非常寂寞，然而超然的态度却让我多少能客观检视自己的生命，希望这种客观将来能让我有资格成为当代中国的史学家。」
他在纽普兹教书时就常因这种观点不受同事和学生的欢迎，对美国人而言，国民党腐败的形象根深蒂固，而毛泽东的正面形象和故事常常又令年轻人振奋鼓舞。 「在美国人那里，中国必须被视为白雪公主或老巫婆」。黄仁宇却几乎是固执地坚持解释历史人物背后的技术原因，而摒弃善恶的评判。他也希望同行们对于中国的现状与历史报以同情之理解。然而，这将令他更加孤独。作为一个归化的美国人，这是痛苦与纠结的。他说：「有时我会觉得，自己就像横越国界却没有护照的旅人，本身就是识别证明。没有现存的权威可以引述，甚至没有足够的词汇来帮我解决彼此的差异。」
幸而，他在回忆录的最后一章写道：「我曾走过中国和美国历史的夹缝，自觉有幸能以同样的坦率来对双方发言。《万历十五年》去年于北京出版，实现了我部分的卑微努力。」黄仁宇的回忆录是他的一生的写照，其中书写着矛盾、冲突、愤懑、怨怼……最终这些都被他的愿望所消解。那个愿望，那个他想要述说的历史观，那个他想要寻求的答案。
参考文献
黄仁宇. 万历十五年[M]. 中华书局,2006.
黄仁宇. 黄河青山[M]. 北京:生活·读书·新知三联书店,2015.
黄仁宇. 资本主义与二十一世纪[M]. 北京:生活·读书·新知三联书店,1997.
陈正国. 黄仁宇的现代化论述与西方历史[J]. 新史学, 2001, 12(4): 155-192.
葛兆光. 黄河依旧绕青山[J]. 读书, 2003(12):77-86.
「梦魂不曾归故土，黄河依旧绕青山。」
浴室
1945年于中国而言，是抗战胜利之年。历史学家伊恩·布鲁玛为这一年写了一本书，讲述战争的结束，与历史的重新开始。他在书中称这一年为「零年」。而此时的黄仁宇，则陷入了一场「一开始就注定挫败」的恋爱之中，他对他称之为「安」的女孩子一见倾心。安的父亲曾显赫于中国的外交领域，「她家在前法国租界的西区，房子是西式风格，每一层楼都有浴室」。但他此时却「阮囊羞涩，当兵这个职业的地位，在对日抗战后达到巅峰——也许还是数百年来的最高点——已逐渐掉回原先的低点，甚至更低。……身为上尉的我……我的母亲、弟弟及妹妹仍然住在重庆的山间破屋中，甚至没有自来水可用，更不要说每一层都有浴室了。」1945年八月，日军投降，黄仁宇跟随郑洞国将军乘坐飞机来到上海，奉命接收上海及国都南京，他就是在这一时期认识了安。此时战争对于中国来说尚未结束，国共两党的冲突正在零星的发生，对于抗战胜利的狂热喜悦已经开始逐渐褪去。黄在回忆录中这样解释他这段感情终结的必然： 「军队充当安全网，让我不必去思考个人的前途、婚姻、经济独立或职业。……现在战争结束了，我第一次有机会面对横在眼前的问题。」也是由此，「浴室」对于黄仁宇来说，有着别样的含义。
后来成为了台湾一代文学大师的王鼎钧，回忆起他在1946年来到上海的时候，「我爱自来水，在家乡，饮水多么难，挑水多么苦，我干过挑水的活儿，曾经掉进井里。……大上海神通大，你只消伸出三个指头，轻轻转动龙头的旋钮清水就哗啦哗啦流出来，……听那哗哗的水声真有些心疼，几乎流下眼泪。」王鼎钧在此前的一年还是个初中刚毕业的流亡学生，受到一位前来招兵的宪兵连长的「欺骗」，接受新兵训练后成为了一名宪兵。并在1946年从上海出发，前往东北。也是这一年的2月，黄仁宇跟随郑洞国将军的幕僚群前往东北。幸而在这年6月他作为军官踏上了去美国留学的轮船。而对于王鼎钧来说，在东北被共产党军队俘虏，一路南下逃亡。两年零十一个月后，又由从上海出发，仓皇逃往台湾。水，就这样作为一种印记，刻在了大时代中小人物的无常命运里。
1937年抗战爆发，当时在南开大学读书的黄仁宇决定参军，他希望能成为拿破仑一样的人物。他遵从了父亲建议，考进了成都的中央军校，经过两年的军事训练，进入国民党军第十四师，驻守紧邻已被日军占领的越南的云南边境，成为了一名战地军官。越野行军中物资匮乏，运输十分困难，不得不去向村民「征用」驴子，但驴子也数量有限。战斗人员也难以补充，「丢了一名士兵，从此就永远少一名」。军官们还不得不包围他们最重要的步枪，「山头上的土匪开出每枝枪七千元的条件，而且保障携枪逃亡者的安全。我们的兵士每月薪饷十二元，身为上尉的我，月薪也不过四十元。」更令人丧气的是军队组织本身，营里的副官在黄企图改造一名滥竽充数的士兵失败后，对他说：「你们这些军校来的人老是自以为是！想把这种人改造成军人？门都没有！」并向他解释，战斗中要依靠受过射击训练的人，由师里组织训练队进行专门训练，而黄所在的这一连，只有四人受过训练。抱着想成为拿破仑的想法放弃学业转而参军的黄仁宇感到失望：「我曾经幻想当拿破仑，但是眼见这样的局势，如果拿破仑大军从莫斯科撤退时，我能置身后卫，就很荣幸了。」
在珍珠港事变的前一周，黄仁宇的父亲过世。黄仁宇由此离开了第十四师，在安顿好家中事务之后，他来到了首都卫戍司令部从事文书工作。在1943年2月，黄仁宇被派驻到印度蓝伽营地，加入驻印远征军。黄仁宇由此可以近距离观察到，当时国民党军队高层的运行状况，以及当时驻印美军的指挥系统。由于第一次缅甸战役中，虽然出于外交考量，史迪威虽然被授予总指挥的职务，但出于中国军队的传统和个人习惯，蒋介石从未放弃直接指挥下属的权力，这引起了史迪威极大的怨恨。对此，黄仁宇是如此解释当时国民党军队自身的困境，「国民党的所有问题在于，它打算动员过时的农业社会，打一场现代的战争。中国的军队需要现代工业的支持，但事实上在我们背后的，只有村落单位的庞大集结。我们的上层组织，无论是民间或军方，有许多漏洞和罅隙，必须以私人关系及非常手段去填补。」也正因为如此，黄所在的新一军总部完全被美军指挥部所架空，只能负责维持中国部队的军纪。经过了数次抗议之后，美国仍然坚定在指挥权上不退让，「美国人有一套联络官和口译人员的联络网，遍布中国军队中，可下达营这一级。我们都是透过下层单位，间接知道指挥部的指令。」在驻印度和缅甸的岁月里，与美军接触的经历对他之后「大历史观」的形成，产生了重要的影响。
1947年夏，黄仁宇留学归来。1949年年初，人民解放军准备渡过长江，而此时的黄仁宇加入了中华民国驻日本代表团。并成为了驻日代表团团长朱世明的副官。1950年1月26日，黄仁宇代表蒋介石送给麦克阿瑟将军圣诞礼物——一株象征长寿的盆栽。「对国民党驻外人员来说，1949年是艰困的一年。」他这样回忆在日本的那段时光，中华人民共和国政府在北京成立，而台湾的流亡政府因而显得十分尴尬。除了苏联及其集团的国家外，印度、芬兰、瑞典等国相继承认新中国。而在此时，驻巴黎的使馆人员宣布效忠新中国，因而在台湾政府内部引起渲染大波。朱世明最终也被怀疑「亲共」，而作为他副官的黄仁宇，也受到了牵连。 「我随着朱世明将军到台北时，更加肯定我原先的想法：蒋介石必须包容身边的各种元素和人物。如果蒋介石比实际上能做主，他可以逮捕朱将军，或是让他继续当国民党的外交官。」 他回忆道：「为历史学家的我最后终于看到，对于国民党运动和其领导人蒋介石来说，命运赋予他们的行动范围相当有限。」最终朱世明仅被解职，而黄仁宇此时回到政治高压的台湾已非一个好选项，最终黄仁宇来到了美国，准备继续学业。
一开始黄仁宇在密西根大学主修新闻学，但「不会说道地的美语，无法有一枝快笔符合截稿期限的要求，要找新闻界的工作非常难。」在此期间，黄对历史学的兴趣被激活，于是决定获得一个历史学博士学位，并以此谋取一份教职。
这样的一个决定看似偶然，对黄仁宇来说似乎又带着一些必然性，他说：「命运同时让我重述内战的前奏与后续。在有所领悟之前，我已经得天独厚，能成为观察者，而不是实行者，我应该心存感激。」黄仁宇是内战的亲历者，而他所谓的「前奏」，则是来源于他父亲对他的教导。他的父亲来自一个家道中落的地主家庭，在年近三十岁时加入了同盟会，并加入省立军校。军校毕业后成为许崇智将军的参谋长。辛亥革命成功后，袁世凯由宣布复辟，于是又有「二次革命」诞生。最终黄仁宇的父亲厌倦了革命，回到了湖南老家娶妻生子。黄仁宇说，「父亲和我相隔的这四十岁，代表整个家庭跳过了一代，也让我直接接触中国追求现代化过程的延长奋斗，这场奋斗在他之前就已展开，在我这一生恐怕还不会结束。」
台湾史学家陈正国后来如此评价黄仁宇：「黄仁宇是八○年代少数史家仍激切记得中国之苦难与落后的史家。他自诩为启蒙者；希望将他在穴洞外看到的光告诉读者。那个光就是现代化。」
至于浴室，在黄仁宇回忆录的第一部分末尾，他说道：「我几乎拥有自己的浴室。淋浴设备及马桶就在卧房旁，只不过近来水管有些问题。房子屋顶很高，因此正值青少年的儿子虽然已超过六英尺高，但可以自由自在行走奔跑，头也不会撞到门楣。不过，最近内人说，我们的暖气费用高得离谱，也许应该考虑搬家。」
旅人
「公元1587年，在中国为万历十五年，论干支则为丁亥，属猪……在历史上，万历十五年实为平平淡淡的一年。」黄仁宇就这样写就了他眼中的无关紧要的一年。「1587年，在西欧历史上为西班牙舰队全部出动征英的前一年。当年，在我国的朝廷上发生了若干为历史学家所易于忽视的事件。这些事件，表面看来虽似末端小节，但实质上确实以前发生大事的整症结，也是将在以后掀起波澜的机缘。」但这样的叙述显然不足以诠释这「无关紧要」之年的意涵。
这本名为《无关紧要的1587年：明王朝的衰落(1587，A Year of No Significance: The Ming Dynasty in Decline)》的书的初稿于1976年夏写就，但我们却能从之后的字里行间中看出作者当时的黯然心情，「在『四人帮』执政时代，当然不能盼望在中国出版。即使是英文版，也经历无数挫折。」直至1976年8月，「文革」终于结束，这本书终于有了一丝丝在大陆出版的希望。而这一年恰是美国建国的二百周年。
邓小平访美之后，《万历十五年》的书稿由友人郁哈维带给了国内的出版社，1979年3月，哈维给黄仁宇打去电话，表示中华书局原则上同意出这本书。黄仁宇回忆起那天的场景，「他无法理解，为何我接电话时一点也不热衷。原来他打电话这一天，……也就是考夫曼博士办公室来电的当天，邀请我次日和校长谈『大学最近删减预算对教职员的影响』。由传话的遣辞和秘书的口气，再加上当时纷纷谣传纽普兹将裁掉十五到二十位教师，我毫无疑问将被解聘。那时任何消息都不可能使我高兴。」
他在这一年被纽约州立大学纽帕兹分校解聘了，他说，「直到今天，只要想到1979年3月27日那一天，我的儿子如何接受这个令人不快的消息，我就觉得很难过。儿子知道他的父亲已被解聘，而许多同学的父母却在大学里有杰出表现。」这同时也令他担心起自己书稿的出版会因为随着自己被解聘而被腰斩。
然而，他所受到的挫折不止于此，他在回忆录中写道：「三年前我开始动手写这本书（指他的回忆录）的时候，只想着要一吐怨气。」而这怨气又从何而来呢？他说，「我最大的野心就是建立中国历史的类似综述，从我在纽帕兹教书以来，这念头就挥之不去，我也为此赌上了一切。」然而，「美国之研究汉学……注重分析，不注重综合。各大学执教的，都是专家，因为他们分工详尽，所以培养了无数青年学者，都戴上了显微镜的目光，对望远镜的观点，倒很少人注意；而且对学术的名目及型式，非常尊重」。因而，黄仁宇想法遭到了同行的冷遇。正如葛兆光所说：「至今那边学者还是不习惯这边学者的『宏大叙事』，更不喜欢这边学者以『本土经验』来解释历史，因为他们觉得如此庞大和复杂的历史，竟然可以采用这样的总体叙述，这是不可能的，也是不科学的。更何况，这种历史的叙述，居然还羼杂了对当下中国的感情和忧患，那更是不可接受。」
然而，黄仁宇对于历史学的研究，本身就带有着人文关怀的色彩。他说，「我所以成为历史学家，是因为自己颠沛流离，一切源于中国的动荡不安。」他需要追寻一个答案，那个致使中国落后于西方，致使自己与亲友拥有惨痛经历的原因。而在他的军旅生涯之中，他能够近距离观察国民党高层的运作。因而，他以为蒋介石的权力实际并不大，而通过私人关系运作的军队并不能仅仅以「腐败」概括了事。他在思考过程中，找到了方向，「我自己在国民党军队的经验让我上了一课：当代中国的背景必须回溯自帝制时期的过去。这些思绪让我转而研究明朝。如果东西双方的对立持续了一个半世纪之久，将背景往上延伸数百年并非不合理。无论如何，清代的政治历史受到外族统治的太多扭曲，后期又在与西方冲突阴影的笼罩之下。明朝是最后一个汉族统治的朝代，在体制上应该更能代表中国的特色。」
于是他的《万历十五年》结束于一个文人的死亡。所向读者展示的，是「经历了希腊悲剧经验，眼睁睁看着命运吞噬掉明君、佐国良臣与英雄」。是「历史上一部失败的总记录」。而吞噬这些英雄的则是传统的社会组织。作为一个幅员辽阔的帝国，各地的状况从来都不尽相同，完全的一致是绝无可能的。因而采取文化道德导向的治国之策，「在这样的情况下，掌握情势的唯一方法就是从智识的建构开始：宇宙是个单一的整体，公正贯穿其间。一切都处于平衡状态，一切都在天子的掌握中。有了智识上的共识，就可以设定通行全国的税制标准，……中国统治者过去宣布各式各样的财政法规，将土地划成正方形，以完整的耕地面积进行分配，村落中的户数刚好为一百户，全都如出一辙。政府根据事先拟定的区域配额来制定法律，如果情况允许就可以执行，法规无法执行时，就准许例外或法外施恩。整套方法可以说是『趋近观念』。」
正如黄仁宇在《明实录》中所发现的那样，「明代的政府财政非常奇怪，虽然缺乏整体的系统，但低层的地方会计用各种方式动手脚，让整体看起来很有秩序」。但这种秩序却像是经过篡改的结果，「明代开国时，政府从大草原和外国收集了一些马匹。……约四万匹种马转包给一般民家饲养，养马的人家可以不用缴税，但必须养好马匹……不久后的15世纪初期，官方『统计数字』显示，这一类别下的马匹数量已达数百万之谱。……显示原始的资料并不是来自于一匹一匹地清点，而是从每年固定的繁殖率累进而来。……到了一百五十年后的16世纪末期，政府决定把这些种马的价值换算成现金，结果发现马匹数量大概在十万匹左右，根本不是数百万。」
《万历十五年》所指出的，是道德并非万能，且道德不能代替技术。在技术改良前就诉诸于道德争辩，则难有妥协的余地。而吞噬着书中的英雄们的正是将技术问题尽量解释成道德问题的官僚组织，使用道德代替计算，而又通过道德的一致性来维护帝国的一致性，从而维系一个低效但稳定的基于小农社会的帝国。而就因为如此，黄仁宇也强调对于历史人物的评价也应脱离道德的评判，而是从技术主义视角去看看待历史人物当时的处境。他自认为自己能够这样做。他说，「我没有国家，这种无所归依的状态有时让人觉得非常寂寞，然而超然的态度却让我多少能客观检视自己的生命，希望这种客观将来能让我有资格成为当代中国的史学家。」
他在纽普兹教书时就常因这种观点不受同事和学生的欢迎，对美国人而言，国民党腐败的形象根深蒂固，而毛泽东的正面形象和故事常常又令年轻人振奋鼓舞。 「在美国人那里，中国必须被视为白雪公主或老巫婆」。黄仁宇却几乎是固执地坚持解释历史人物背后的技术原因，而摒弃善恶的评判。他也希望同行们对于中国的现状与历史报以同情之理解。然而，这将令他更加孤独。作为一个归化的美国人，这是痛苦与纠结的。他说：「有时我会觉得，自己就像横越国界却没有护照的旅人，本身就是识别证明。没有现存的权威可以引述，甚至没有足够的词汇来帮我解决彼此的差异。」
幸而，他在回忆录的最后一章写道：「我曾走过中国和美国历史的夹缝，自觉有幸能以同样的坦率来对双方发言。《万历十五年》去年于北京出版，实现了我部分的卑微努力。」黄仁宇的回忆录是他的一生的写照，其中书写着矛盾、冲突、愤懑、怨怼……最终这些都被他的愿望所消解。那个愿望，那个他想要述说的历史观，那个他想要寻求的答案。
参考文献
黄仁宇. 万历十五年[M]. 中华书局,2006.
黄仁宇. 黄河青山[M]. 北京:生活·读书·新知三联书店,2015.
黄仁宇. 资本主义与二十一世纪[M]. 北京:生活·读书·新知三联书店,1997.
陈正国. 黄仁宇的现代化论述与西方历史[J]. 新史学, 2001, 12(4): 155-192.
葛兆光. 黄河依旧绕青山[J]. 读书, 2003(12):77-86.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 5, 2020
好厚哈哈哈。有些感慨，黄仁宇在南开读大学，恰逢抗战爆发，于是听了父亲的建议，进入军官学校学习。再后来编入中国远征军在印缅作战。抗战胜利后随郑洞国接受上海南京，又转到东北，再到日本成为驻日武官。又因为政治原因退伍，流落到了美国，成为历史学教授。然而在《万历十五年》出版前夕又被大学解聘。其一生可谓波折不断。说到底，从他在上海，羡慕他的情人安在法租界的别墅中一层又一间浴室，到他在美国已经成家立业终于有了自己的浴室。人生的变化无常，尽在此处。
March 20, 2022
真实而更波折的《斯通纳》。认为kmd 败于上下结构的不匹配（农村与土地革命）。碎片地诉说了以命运预定说为底色的大历史观（近代史是由文化主导的政治体缓慢地转换为现代国家），这也是越来越多关注此地的学者在追溯的路。可以说是物质的限制（中间阶层，组织技术），路径依赖，但我仍觉得“政治该是可能性的艺术”，多一些想象力，不只翻历史的“工具箱”，或许也是我这站着说话不腰疼之人的天真。幸存的人有该做、能做的事。
June 30, 2019
做研究真不容易。雖然不完全贊同黃仁宇對毛澤東的看法，但理解他堅持自己的看法。
July 12, 2020
黄仁宇在本回忆录中的观点我大部分赞同。虽然有很多琐碎无关的细节，但他把我拉到一个更宏观的视角
Want to read
June 4, 2021手癢癢想湊齊全套黃仁宇
但繁中都沒電子書，只有簡體
有幾本螃蟹應該會吃很多，實在不想買啊
先買本自傳止渴吧...
我也不曉得為啥以前沒有買這本
大概窮學生圖書館有就不買了吧~
但資本主義與廿一世紀還不就買下去了XD
但繁中都沒電子書，只有簡體
有幾本螃蟹應該會吃很多，實在不想買啊
先買本自傳止渴吧...
我也不曉得為啥以前沒有買這本
大概窮學生圖書館有就不買了吧~
但資本主義與廿一世紀還不就買下去了XD
March 17, 2025
既没有黄河，也没有青山。黄仁宇的文章以漫不经心的散乱为特点，万历十五年是这样，但每段都很精彩。这本书，就很无聊了。
April 1, 2024
蒋建立了现代政府的外观，无法创造让政府运作的下层结构。而毛建立根据地，有效地改造了松散的乡村。以诗人和哲学家为代表的东方，与以逻辑学家和数学家为代表的西方，两者之间的争议可能没完没了。
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