The Beauty of a Darker Soul: Overcoming Trauma Through the Power of Human Connection

by Joshua Mantz

This is a journey of finding beauty within darkness. Former Army Major Josh Mantz reaches into the deepest corners of the human soul to expose the most difficult emotions associated with traumatic experiences. Mantz was shot and killed by a sniper on the streets of Baghdad and flatlined for fifteen minutes. He leverages his profoundly vivid near-death experience to help others overcome life’s most difficult moments. This deeply inspirational work empowers us to find meaning within suffering and demonstrates the vital role we all have in creating hope for others.

Genres: Nonfiction

278 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 26, 2017

Reviews

[Sophie Plouffe · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very important read. I have a learnt a lot from it. Although it wasn’t what I had expected. I wasn’t expecting the military side to it when I read the title. But I was pleasantly surprised to learn about the military and Josh’s experience in Baghdad. It was captivating to be inside of the author’s mind during patrols and his overall journey in Iraq. I was just dissapointed in Josh’s decision to bypass physician’s recommendation not to return to Iraq, to skip the running test, saying he was good when he was clearly not, not continuing therapy, when it would have been very beneficial for him to do so. I can see how a bit of his trauma and physical health could have been prevented, and I would’ve liked him to prevent it, but it’s
done. I am still very impressed with his accomplishments and his path to healing. Truely inspiring :)

[Scott Huesing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Praise for The Beauty of a Darker Soul | by Joshua Mantz
Recommended by Scott A. Huesing | Author of Echo in Ramadi (Regnery)

I’m honored to share my thoughts on The Beauty of a Darker Soul for many reasons, not the least of which is because Josh’s work is something that is inevitably going to be a cornerstone in understanding trauma and healing for our nations veterans and first responders for decades to come.

To say I know Josh is to say we share a lot of the same values and experiences as warriors—we’ve only known each other over a year or so as members of a combat speaking consortium and through emails, phone calls, and instant messaging—what most would refer to as pen-pals.

However, I don’t subscribe to the notion that I have “electronic friends” through the polarity of social media, texting, or emails. They’re people I know, real people and friends in one way, shape, or form. The evolving medium of social media has ultimately brought more people into my life—and clearly, I’m not referring to those who flood my inbox with meaningless spam, memes, or divisive political rhetoric. I'm referring to those who connect me in meaningful ways, like the way I have gotten to know people like Josh Mantz—real people, with a real connection. I may not hang out with them at barbecues or festivals, but they’re still what I consider friends—people willing to connect and give a small part of themselves to help others.

Maybe there is a connection that goes far beyond “liking” or “following” on Facebook. I’ve always known that throughout my life, especially after spending 24 years in the U.S. Marine Corps that there are unexplainable connecting points that people share—especially professional warriors. I found another one as I read The Beauty of a Darker Soul. Ten years before meeting Josh or picking up his book we were both immersed in the chasm of war together in 2006 and 2007. Sharing, sacrificing, and leading our nation’s finest men and women in battle—yet still complete strangers.

I couldn’t have been more wrong with what I thought I was going to read when I picked up The Beauty of a Darker Soul. I have to admit; I thought it was going to be some spiritual, tree-hugging, self-help book about a friend of mine that had a “death” experience because throughout my time in the Marines I’ve known many who’ve had similar. I joke with Josh by calling it that because when you’ve flat-lined for 15 minutes and then come back to life, that’s not what I call “near death,” that’s death. Josh was brought back to the world of the living for a purpose. A purpose he lives up to every day—with challenges along the way, like most.

Josh serves numerous purposes in his life—writing and speaking about his astonishing story—most evident is his ability to understand the power of human connection. Personal and meaningful human connection he learned not only as a child, at West Point, and in the bloody streets of Baghdad—but a holistic understanding that is acquired starkly by those who have seen the worst of what humans can create—war.

As I continued to read The Beauty of a Darker Soul, my convictions about the type of character our nations’ military brings together were reaffirmed page after page. Like most who serve their country as professional warriors or first responders, they are cut from a different bolt of cloth— fabric that is designed to shield the weak from harm and blanket the afraid under safety. Some go their entire lives never fully realizing the calling that is in them. They may never consciously choose to serve in the military. They dream of being doctors, or cops, or veterinarians, or farmers. But despite it all, they have this innate calling to help others that can’t help themselves—and luckily for those who will never have that in them, many ultimately join the military to serve a higher purpose as their protectors.

Josh’s story is undeniably unique—a story that needs to be broadcast loudly within our veteran community and to those who are willing to understand the true spirit of the love that leaders like Josh shared with the men he led and which ultimately returned to him in countless ways. I found many similarities in the way Josh and I have both led, loved, and written about the warriors we were privileged to command in a world of uncertainty. His unrelenting spirit of hope, sacrifice, and the degree of humility and vulnerability in which he shares the bonds of war in a way that every person can understand are unforgettable.


Major Scott A. Huesing is a retired Marine Corps infantry officer with over 24 years of honorable service. His career spanned 10 deployments in over 60 countries worldwide, including Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Horn of Africa, and he has conducted hundreds of combat missions under some of the most austere conditions.

Scott’s upcoming book, Echo in Ramadi (Regnery, February 20, 2018) is the firsthand story of the U.S. Marines fight in the deadliest city of Iraq during the second battle of Ramadi.

Scott and Josh are both members of Bravo 748, a combat military speaking consortium founded by Jamie Burton, a Gold Star mother. Josh’s book, The Beauty of a Darker Soul, is available now on Amazon.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why this book:I met Josh Mantz several years ago when he was a guest speaker at an event I was organizing. He came, he spoke, he impressed all of us. Josh and I connected, became friends and have stayed in touch. He had given me a copy of his book, and I finally got around to reading it.

Summary in 3 Sentences: This is Josh Mantz’s story, beginning with a few brief chapters about his childhood and upbringing, describing his path through school to West Point to becoming an Army infantry officer, and ultimately to leading a platoon in a very violent part of Iraq in 2007. While there, an enemy sniper fired a high caliber round that went through and killed his platoon sergeant, before hitting Josh and severing his femoral artery. Bleeding badly, his platoon mates rapidly got him to the nearest medical aide station where he flat lined for 15 minutes while doctors and medics struggled to save him, finally detecting a pulse and bringing him back to life. The second half of the book is about his recovery, and his efforts to continue to serve while still struggling with PTSD and other physiological and psychological challenges from his time in combat.

My Impressions: A short, captivating and very powerful read. I’m so glad I finally picked it up and read it. I found his entire story captivating and inspiring. As an infantry officer, he studied counter-insurgency theory and as a leader of a combat unit in Iraq, he recognized that it applied to the work he was doing in and around Sadr City in Baghdad, the most violent and dangerous section of the city during the worst part of the war. He and his team were making significant progress building ties to the local police and Iraqis when a sniper’s bullet interrupted their operations, and his life.

Josh’s life story had been one of succeeding by working harder and with greater focus and dedication than most others, and it usually worked for him – until it didn’t. His life seemed to be one well-earned success after another, until he was shot in Iraq. Josh applied his proven methods of focus and hard work to his physical recovery and amazed doctors and his team by returning to join them in Iraq just months after being shot, dying and being brought back to life. But trauma and PTSD don’t succumb to simple hard work – they are much more complex than that. Josh learned that perseverance, hope, faith, patience, mentorship and support from others are essential to the healing process. Josh’s story is about all these things, built upon an amazing combat story, and his efforts to help others who have struggled with trauma – from battle or other sources.

Josh’s story of dying – his Near Death Experience is alone powerful enough to justify reading this book. If you wonder what it might be like to know that you’re about to die, and then accept it and let go, here is one of the few who have had that experience and survived to be able to share it. After letting himself go, and essentially saying goodbye to the world, when he woke up two days later, he remembered clearly everything that had happened to him before “literally everything faded to black.” He describes a powerful and peaceful experience – “the most peaceful experience of my life.”

Josh shares how the convergence of good fortune and good people doing amazing work together led to the miracle of his survival. He shares how his platoon and family reacted, and his months of recovery, and how he eventually, by hard work and a bit of bureaucratic conniving, made his way back to his men in Iraq in just a few months, and continued to serve. But he was a changed man.

After his tour in Iraq was up and upon return to duty in the States, Josh continued to excel as he had before, with more focus, dedication, and hard work than almost anyone else. It was what had worked for him before, but again, he was a different man after his injury. He initially stayed on track for advancement within his career, becoming aide de camp to a General officer and being given command of a Warrior Transition Unit, and eventually being sent to a graduate program to help his continued service and advancement. Success and accolades kept coming. But eventually he realized that working 16 hours a day was a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with the psychological residue and other issues relating to his trauma.

Josh became a nationally recognized speaker and spokesman for the needs of soldiers to recover from trauma, speaking publicly in highly visible events and forums, impressing all who met him with his candor, humility, and willingness to share. One of his primary goals was to take the stigma away from the struggles so many soldiers were having upon their return from combat.

He described what he and others refer to as moral injuries – feelings of shame, powerlessness, betrayal and guilt, to include survivor’s guilt, from decisions made and other experiences under the stress of combat. Maintaining a grueling schedule on his speaking tour, he was still avoiding recognizing and dealing with the moral injuries he was experiencing himself. Eventually he recognized his own pain and had to pull back. While he was providing clear guidance to other soldiers and their loved ones about dealing with Post Traumatic Stress, and appeared to have it all together, he had difficulty following his own advice – until he found himself in a moment of severe personal crisis. Then he knew what he had to do – and reached out for help.

This is a powerful book, full of insights about life and death, success and struggle, and one man, connecting with and serving others who are similarly struggling, to find happiness and meaning after a severe traumatic event. Josh has endured Post-Traumatic Stress and found Post Traumatic Growth. He found not only pain, but also beauty, wisdom and insight in the struggle, and in this book, he celebrates the Beauty of a Darker Soul.

Josh Mantz: “Giving someone the feeling that they’re not alone any more is one of the most selfless and courageous acts you can perform in this lifetime.”

On Youtube, you can find a TED talk Josh gave in 2015. In it, Josh tells a brief and powerful version of his story. There are other youtube presentations of Josh on Youtube, for those who have the time.

[Eric · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at page 93.

As someone living with PTS, I really wanted to read, and like, this book. But I couldn’t get past Mantz’s voice. It grated on me. I’m sure Mantz is a good person with a good heart, but…

I couldn’t put my finger on it at first. Some over-the-top projecting in an effort to hide deep-rooted insecurity. A voice where the ego bleeds from the page and the writer’s favorite word is “I” (where all of the “victories” can be attributed to him and him alone).

That’s the thing: it’s all unnecessary. Mantz survived a harrowing, incredibly tragic experience and has managed to come out the other side, after a lot of hard introspective work, in a better place. (This is why it’s two stars and not one, though the insecurity lying just beneath the words makes me wonder if that is, in fact, the full picture here.) In other words, I was already impressed by his story and experience, his resilience and fight to overcome; there was no need to “convince” me of that further in the writing.

Then I remembered he’s a West Pointer. And like every West Pointer I’ve ever met and served with, there’s no lack of belief in their own exceptionalism, and it’s something they can’t hide. It’s like that joke about the CrossFitter, vegan, and atheist. You know, this one: “A CrossFitter, vegan, and atheist walk into a bar. How do you know? Because they won’t stop talking about it.”

There’s also something about the tone that is related to, but slightly distinct from, the above critique. It’s “relentlessly positive,” or perhaps “toxically positive,” in a way that my gut says isn’t realistic, feels fake. It suggests to me, quite strongly, that there’s a lack of candor and vulnerability in the writing, a sugar-coated veneer of happiness—a death sentence for any memoir (or memoir-esque story).

Beyond this, I found the editing, structure, and attention to craft below par. There’s a lot of exposition about his background—childhood, West Point, initial service—that could have been cutdown or eliminated entirely. There are odd section headings when they’re unnecessary (for example, a story about an Iraqi family around pages 71-72 is interrupted by a section heading where there’s no change in the topic or time period). There is a lot of duplicative material even in the first 93 pages (see comment above about trimming/eliminating). There are contradictions, such as Mantz recounting his stepfather’s frustration with hardened criminals getting off on “minor technicalities” (setting aside the fact that nothing about constitutional rights can be described as “minor”) only to, on the next page, talk about “influencing” (his words) a court-martial panel’s members (there’s the ego again) to acquit the accused because of “huge holes” (are these different than “minor technicalities”?) and that same stepfather, the one who was frustrated by hardened criminals “getting off” telling Mantz “it’s better that ten guilty men walk free than one innocent man go to jail,” which seems to belie the previous statement.

The book feels like it’s written by a politician. That feeling of someone telling you just enough of the truth, but not all of the reality, and in a way that ensures you know he/she is a “standup guy” or “standup gal.”

I walked into the book assuming that Mantz was a standup guy (and I’m sure he is). But I wanted his flaws, not his highlight reels. I found this lacking and just couldn’t force myself to finish. Too many books to read, not enough time.

[Sharon Grimm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written. Veryvinsightful. My husband had a very severe brain injury in World War II. On Okinawa. He had PTSD all his life but of course in those days it was never treated. Most G I dealt with it by drinking alcohol in excess. It also caused early deaths especially by the wives of those who suffered on the fringes silently. It affected Children of the same marriage in various ways and certainly affected the GI's in the work force.

I think everyone should read this who is a citizen of the US. The toll PTSD takes on families of veterans is unimaginable.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in a few days time. It gave me great insight into the unique mindset of combat-related PTSD. Josh Mantz was able to simplify the complexity of trauma mindset and how the traumatic event isn't always THE trauma. I'm so so glad I read this book. That being said, I want to touch on some important oversights that actually lead to the continual stigmatization of behavioral health treatment in the military population, specifically for officers.

1. The author talked about when he had a four-hour session with a top rate clinician and how pivotal this was for him. He then states, " After my meeting with Vic, I didn't subscribe to continuous therapy, despite her very strong recommendation that I do so." He also says, "Yet I couldn't shake the guilt that so many others didn't have access to this level of care." This is, arguably, the exact reason why this top-rate clinician "strongly recommended" a continuous course of therapy. The fact that he later takes command of a WTU and meets one-on-one with soldiers to essentially convince them to engage in a continuous course of therapy speaks to the epidemic of officer hubris, which isn't solely the fault of the officers. It's a culture where eloquent hubris is rewarded with desirable commands, status, and climbing of ranks. Reputation is absolutely everything in leadership. So my goodness, what an impact that would have been had he engaged in a course of mental health treatment! What a way to actually break down the walls and begin a conversation amongst the officer ranks and mental health stigma. I'm skeptical that he was actually "following his intuition" and was instead trying to rise above the need for treatment.

2. How effective can people actually be when they are focusing on other people's problems simply for the sake of not focusing on their own? This is also an epidemic amongst officers. The mentality seems to be this: if I just focus on my soldiers enough, if I do enough, then I can prove that I AM enough and I don't actually need help. It sounds like he was effective as an WTU commander, but I can't help but wonder what I would have witnessed had I been a clinician working for that unit. This idea of avoiding one's own problems in the guise of sacrifice is indeed everywhere, but it is especially prevalent in the military, and within that population, especially amongst officers. The justification of avoiding one's own problems is usually something like "when I'm done with command" or "when I'm done with the military" or "when I get to staff shop" or whatever the fill-in-the-blank is for a specific rank. Unfortunately, it is terribly common for an officer's career to be at best sidetracked (and at worst destroyed) due to any display of adverse mental health symptoms... even a bad day. This is in spite of being placed in countless situations that have the potential for moral injury and trauma. No wonder hubris is rampant... here, fix this sh*tshow, but you are also not allowed to have so much as even a bad day.

All this to say, the system is incredibly broken. While I admire the author for trying to fix it, I think he's only able to scratch the surface on the deep-seated issues of officers and soldiers receiving appropriate care. During his time of active duty, I think this stigmatization still struck him, as it's nearly impossible to have a career plus any sort of BH diagnosis. If enough people of influence had worked with him to actually break down the stigma barriers for him to do treatment at that time (instead of him trusting his intuition to NOT do a full course of treatment) how different would this story be? Where would we be now with mental health and the military, and for our officers? As he says, trauma does not discriminate, and that includes rank. Was it intuition, or was it training to stay below the radar?

I hope someone of influence reads this. We need to do better for our military... both enlisted and officers. Sure, it's better than what it was, but that's like saying "my basement only has a foot of water instead of six feet of water, this is so much better!" Technically, yes, but we've still got work to do. Let's do better.

[Brad Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that will shock you, Because it hits your soul,

Got this book to see how his life changed when he died. What was the revelation.

Found out the deeper meaning of this book is life. Not death how do we get through life. Find tools to help us get through that scar tissue we have.

Josh has written an amazing book about an amazing life he has lived. So glad he has shared

Now let’s build the community and help each other with support.

[Christopher Pokorny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Josh speaks about the impact that sacred trust and empathetic connection can be a means of healing trauma. His story about trauma and his road to restoration is a unique one and is empowering to those who are open to exploring the depths and philosophical underpinnings of the meaning of life. He isn’t solely an advocate for behavioral healthcare, rather an advocate for holistic care and being mindful of the social, mental, spiritual and physical components of the road to recovery.

[Michael Cushing · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm currently going through the process of recovering from PTSD, so I was able to relate quite a bit to Josh's story. There were huge sections of this Book where it really clicked as to how accurate of a diagnosis this finally was for me. After being misdiagnosed for most of my life. Josh's story also holds hope for me because he wound up in a great mind space and living a great life after suffering for so long. I can definitely relate to Josh in his darker moments. I hope I can come out the other side and achieve the same health and growth that Josh eventually experienced himself.

[Shane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trials and trauma to our lives is universal. I enjoyed this book for the mistakes and also the lessons learned. Injuries- mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual all need to be addressed. Injury takes time and effort. Let other people join with you in the process. Thank you

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The healing process is a progressive, ever-changing effort that ebbs and flows with life itself- never a fixed point in time. Allow yourself to appreciate the journey."

[melissa carl · Rating 5 out of 5]

My uncle wrote this book. This is written on my mother's account. My mother is his little sister. We are all happy for him! Wonderful book and a totally true story!

[Thomas Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was very well written and a great look not only at how trauma affects us, but how to recognize the need to ask for help.

[Tari Randall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one that ALL need to read. I’m not an emotional person but was brought to tears. It’s humbling, captivating and taught me so much. One I will read again!