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Help Me Find My Car Keys And We Can Drive Out!
Absurdist writer Jon Konrath is back with thirty pieces of flash, micro-fiction, and other post-apocalyptic weirdness. Bigger than a zine, more concentrated and complex than a novel, this new collection of bite-sized pieces is the perfect stop-gap measure between Konrath’s larger works. It’s also a perfect introduction to his eccentric style of random and absurd fiction.
In the same tradition as the wildly popular and now out of print zine Mandatory Laxative, Help Me Find My Car Keys And We Can Drive Out! is a collection of bite-sized, gonzo, Neo-dada fiction. The author of the Wonderland Award-nominated Atmospheres and cult classic Rumored to Exist weaves a chaotic nonlinear tapestry of pop culture, heavy metal, and offensive absurdity.
In addition to the titular piece, this also includes Any Religion That Promises Slaves In The Afterlife Most Likely Does Not Have Good Refreshments, Never Trust A Colon Cancer Self-Test Purchased At A Drug Store That Is 85% Minions Merchandise, Konrath Writes Too Many Stories Involving Lawn Equipment Because He Is An Idiot, and Untitled.
This is an unorthodox and unconventional collection practically designed to confuse and offend. Like the rest of Konrath’s work, it is a wild ride through the surreal and unconventional.
In the same tradition as the wildly popular and now out of print zine Mandatory Laxative, Help Me Find My Car Keys And We Can Drive Out! is a collection of bite-sized, gonzo, Neo-dada fiction. The author of the Wonderland Award-nominated Atmospheres and cult classic Rumored to Exist weaves a chaotic nonlinear tapestry of pop culture, heavy metal, and offensive absurdity.
In addition to the titular piece, this also includes Any Religion That Promises Slaves In The Afterlife Most Likely Does Not Have Good Refreshments, Never Trust A Colon Cancer Self-Test Purchased At A Drug Store That Is 85% Minions Merchandise, Konrath Writes Too Many Stories Involving Lawn Equipment Because He Is An Idiot, and Untitled.
This is an unorthodox and unconventional collection practically designed to confuse and offend. Like the rest of Konrath’s work, it is a wild ride through the surreal and unconventional.
106 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2017
2 people are currently reading
23 people want to read
About the author
Jon Konrath
37 books88 followersJon Konrath is an American author born in 1971. He grew up in Indiana and studied computer science and English at Indiana University. After college, he worked as a software developer and technical writer, but eventually turned his attention to writing fiction.
Konrath is the author of several books, including "Rumored to Exist," "Thunderbird," and "The Earworm Inception." His writing is known for its unique blend of humor, absurdism, and surrealism, often blurring the lines between reality and fantasy.
In addition to writing, Konrath is also an accomplished photographer. He currently resides in California.
Konrath is the author of several books, including "Rumored to Exist," "Thunderbird," and "The Earworm Inception." His writing is known for its unique blend of humor, absurdism, and surrealism, often blurring the lines between reality and fantasy.
In addition to writing, Konrath is also an accomplished photographer. He currently resides in California.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
January 6, 2018
I tried reading this book on my Kindle while I was getting my right arm tattooed but it kept flipping off of my left knee, so I had to wait until I got home. After I washed off the blood and applied Aquafor, Jon Konrath gave me the yips. I am going to read all his books and put them in a time capsule because the future needs this.
January 8, 2018
I don't know what I just read, but I'm pretty sure anything that makes me whisper "what the fuck?" to myself that many times deserves five stars.
Konrath has this seemingly limitless propensity for thinking of the weirdest, most random shit ever. Many years ago I decided that this would be my life's work if I ended up living in my home town.
But had that happened, Konrath would have filled me with a deep sense of inadequacy, and I likely would have hid him from my friends while doing my best to bring his thoughts to life. Like maybe I'd smoke PCP from a Chatty Kathy doll while pulling her voice-activating strings and try to take credit for it like it was my idea all along.
My life is a lie, but my true life's work would be a lie too because of Jon Konrath. All the fucked up got disproportionately distributed to him.
In all seriousness, there is some small intersection between insanity and genius, and every time I have a run in with someone who lives in that space, I realize it isn't as small as I thought. Every mind in that liminal space is so unique.
Konrath defends his own corner at that intersection, and always makes the space between madness and brilliance feel a bit more like home to me. For that reason I love his work. It might not be for everyone, but it is for me.
Konrath has this seemingly limitless propensity for thinking of the weirdest, most random shit ever. Many years ago I decided that this would be my life's work if I ended up living in my home town.
But had that happened, Konrath would have filled me with a deep sense of inadequacy, and I likely would have hid him from my friends while doing my best to bring his thoughts to life. Like maybe I'd smoke PCP from a Chatty Kathy doll while pulling her voice-activating strings and try to take credit for it like it was my idea all along.
My life is a lie, but my true life's work would be a lie too because of Jon Konrath. All the fucked up got disproportionately distributed to him.
In all seriousness, there is some small intersection between insanity and genius, and every time I have a run in with someone who lives in that space, I realize it isn't as small as I thought. Every mind in that liminal space is so unique.
Konrath defends his own corner at that intersection, and always makes the space between madness and brilliance feel a bit more like home to me. For that reason I love his work. It might not be for everyone, but it is for me.
January 10, 2018
KLASSIC KONRATH
January 7, 2018
This short collection of Jon Konrath’s flash fiction plays out like a schizophrenic techno-consumerist nightmare. While being satirical and hilarious, it is also kinda absurd and disturbing. While these pieces aren’t exactly plot-driven (that’s not the point of them) they are a different kind of roller coaster insomuch as you never know where you’re going or where you’ll end up. Fans of Mark Leyner, you need a book like this.
January 8, 2018
Legit LOL Funny
Few writers are consistently laugh out loud funny. Konrath is one of them. I literally laughed out loud over two and a half dozen times whilst reading this. But I'm giving it 4 instead of 5 because it's too short and the cover is embarrassing. But 4 is still stupid good, so you should buy it.
Few writers are consistently laugh out loud funny. Konrath is one of them. I literally laughed out loud over two and a half dozen times whilst reading this. But I'm giving it 4 instead of 5 because it's too short and the cover is embarrassing. But 4 is still stupid good, so you should buy it.
January 13, 2018
As funny, absurd, and brilliant as everything else Konrath has written. He is the only author on the planet who can make a story in all caps into something I want to read. There is a story titled "Never Trust a Colon Cancer Self-Test Purchased at a Drug Store that Is 85% Minions Merchandise." These are the reasons why I'm card-carrying member of the Konrath cult.
May 27, 2018
One time I worked on a book written by a very famous person, beloved by boomers who dream of retirement in tropical but American locales. We designed the interior and the cover, and his editor presented it to him. “Looks ok, but the cover and the chapter openers need to be comic sans.” The editor relayed this info to us, and naturally we were apoplectic. “We’re one of the top five publishers! We can’t use comic sans!” We were overruled. People cried. We revised the design and it was submitted to the author. He said, “Now it’s funny. “
February 7, 2018
Jon Konrath writes stories for morbidly obese Nyquil addicts who like to pleasure themselves with Minions "massagers" while eating Lunchables. i am one of those people, so I liked it a lot.
December 15, 2018
Jon Konrath's HELP ME FIND MY CAR KEYS AND WE CAN DRIVE OUT is a collection of weird, absurd, satirical and flat out goofball flash fiction. That's not a style that I normally enjoy but Konrath makes it accessible for me. I think it was due to the reference os so much tail
There may be as much tail in this book as in a Jeff O'Brien book so you know I'm not over exaggerating the sheer volume of referenced booty on this thing.
So, give it a read. There's really nothing to lose except for your car keys.
There may be as much tail in this book as in a Jeff O'Brien book so you know I'm not over exaggerating the sheer volume of referenced booty on this thing.
So, give it a read. There's really nothing to lose except for your car keys.
June 27, 2018
I’ve heard the authors name thrown around quite a bit, particularly on Facebook where he seems to have a predilection for amusing Photoshops (such as the cover of this book). When I saw this book was available on Kindle Unlimited I snatched it up and was in no way disappointed. Great stuff, very absurd and amusing. The author claims to have thirteen books out, so I won’t be without for a while.
May 8, 2019
Kon Jonrath
This book is a depressed man streaking through the rain just trying to feel something, anything. The cover is a perfect depiction of the content—non sequitur and curious sadness. Recommended to anyone who likes eating an entire carton of ice cream in one sitting while watching old Behind the Music documentaries about 98 Degrees and *NSYNC.
This book is a depressed man streaking through the rain just trying to feel something, anything. The cover is a perfect depiction of the content—non sequitur and curious sadness. Recommended to anyone who likes eating an entire carton of ice cream in one sitting while watching old Behind the Music documentaries about 98 Degrees and *NSYNC.
February 11, 2018
This book is fun from start to finish. This is exactly the kind of thing I keep buying Konrath books for, and why I grab each one that comes out. I always enjoy reading and it never bores. Great stuff all the way.
February 11, 2018
What the hell is this and how do I wash it off?
Holy crap. This is exactly the kind of thing you want to read when you’re in the Applebee’s restroom, neck-deep in a knockoff RealDoll you bought in the parking lot off a John Stamos impersonator in a confederate flag sombrero. I’ve never read Konrath before. I never would have heard of him without GoodReads. I gotta get some more before the horse tranquilizers wear off. What the hell is this and how do I wash it off?
Holy crap. This is exactly the kind of thing you want to read when you’re in the Applebee’s restroom, neck-deep in a knockoff RealDoll you bought in the parking lot off a John Stamos impersonator in a confederate flag sombrero. I’ve never read Konrath before. I never would have heard of him without GoodReads. I gotta get some more before the horse tranquilizers wear off. What the hell is this and how do I wash it off?
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews