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What do you see when you look to the stars? The thing about the universe is that nothing is ever the same. It grows exponentially, it disappears into the dark abyss, it creates entire galaxies out of nothing and just as quick, it can destroy it all. It’s beautiful, and it’s always changing. The thing about high school senior Ricky Schenk’s life is…well, absolutely nothing is changing. He has been stuck in the same boring routine. Wake up, excel at school, lead extracurricular clubs, get unbelievably blackout drunk, go to bed. The usual. It used to be easy to ignore – the black hole in his chest that is – but the voices are getting too loud. And they won’t wait any longer. Meet Hana, the complete opposite of Ricky. She keeps her head down in class with her nervous fingers pulling at the ends of the sweater. After Ricky snoops in her academic file, she quickly becomes the object of his fascination. For lack of non-cliché terms, she’s different. It’s a long shot, but if Hana could help him out of his rut, maybe he could make it through the rest of the school year.Maybe she can even help him reach the stars.
- GenresMental Health
289 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 31, 2017
5 people are currently reading
562 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
October 28, 2023
NO NO NO NO NO RICKY NOO
(mild spoilers)
“It was time. I stepped forward. Exhale. There was screaming, but only for the shortest of milliseconds.”
This book absolutely destroyed me but I also relate to so many parts of it. Ricky and Blake’s friendship was my favorite thing about this book and my heart just hurts so bad for Blake at the end of this book. My heart hurts for everyone at the end of this book. They all witnessed Ricky kill himself and after the conversation Blake and Ricky had earlier on when Blake said he couldn’t live without Ricky and then Ricky dies right in front of him, it breaks my heart. And Hana’s last interaction with Ricky was when they had the argument🥺
Ricky probably wouldn’t be described as a very likable character but I do feel for him and I think a lot of people can relate to him in many ways and I really wish this story would’ve ended differently, I wanted to see him recover and live that happy life that he deserved☹️
(mild spoilers)
“It was time. I stepped forward. Exhale. There was screaming, but only for the shortest of milliseconds.”
This book absolutely destroyed me but I also relate to so many parts of it. Ricky and Blake’s friendship was my favorite thing about this book and my heart just hurts so bad for Blake at the end of this book. My heart hurts for everyone at the end of this book. They all witnessed Ricky kill himself and after the conversation Blake and Ricky had earlier on when Blake said he couldn’t live without Ricky and then Ricky dies right in front of him, it breaks my heart. And Hana’s last interaction with Ricky was when they had the argument🥺
Ricky probably wouldn’t be described as a very likable character but I do feel for him and I think a lot of people can relate to him in many ways and I really wish this story would’ve ended differently, I wanted to see him recover and live that happy life that he deserved☹️
January 21, 2018
Ricky is many things, class president, smart, determined, a partygoer, generally popular and also takes dangerous risks and is curious by nature.
This draws his attention to Hana, a girl in his class who has a secret, one of which she is afraid to tell anyone but when she does it also changes how Ricky acts.
This book was brilliant in a simple summary. I didn’t know what I would expect but I can definitely say I really enjoyed this book and it’s characters.
The characters of Ricky and Hana are brilliantly written, Ricky’s character especially gave me chills, but I have to say my favourite character I found was Blake, and if you read this book you’ll know why!
But also if you’re struggling in any ways mentally please take caution when reading.
This draws his attention to Hana, a girl in his class who has a secret, one of which she is afraid to tell anyone but when she does it also changes how Ricky acts.
This book was brilliant in a simple summary. I didn’t know what I would expect but I can definitely say I really enjoyed this book and it’s characters.
The characters of Ricky and Hana are brilliantly written, Ricky’s character especially gave me chills, but I have to say my favourite character I found was Blake, and if you read this book you’ll know why!
But also if you’re struggling in any ways mentally please take caution when reading.
January 22, 2018
Definitely note the trigger warning in the title (TW)
That said. It is an incredible story. Beautifully written, breathtaking plot, and the best character development in any novel I have ever read.
The main character Ricky is not....a typical good guy main character. In fact, he almost borders the bad guy line, but at the same time he is very relatable. I think my favorite character is Hana and, surprisingly, Samantha - the character unfortunate enough to fall for Ricky.
At first read, the story of Ricky’s mental health struggle is simply told (but very well done!). However, the plot and craft is more complicated. With a closer eye, the story actually shows various levels of mental health throughout all the characters, and how they in turn cope and deal with their own demons. Blake, Ricky’s mother, Jensen...And it shows that there is not ONE form of depression or even one method for living with it.
In any case. Tragically heartbreaking novel - and from a new author at that. Excited to read more of Kingsman’s work.
That said. It is an incredible story. Beautifully written, breathtaking plot, and the best character development in any novel I have ever read.
The main character Ricky is not....a typical good guy main character. In fact, he almost borders the bad guy line, but at the same time he is very relatable. I think my favorite character is Hana and, surprisingly, Samantha - the character unfortunate enough to fall for Ricky.
At first read, the story of Ricky’s mental health struggle is simply told (but very well done!). However, the plot and craft is more complicated. With a closer eye, the story actually shows various levels of mental health throughout all the characters, and how they in turn cope and deal with their own demons. Blake, Ricky’s mother, Jensen...And it shows that there is not ONE form of depression or even one method for living with it.
In any case. Tragically heartbreaking novel - and from a new author at that. Excited to read more of Kingsman’s work.
December 16, 2020
I have a lot to say about this book. The idea? So amazing. I was so invested in the main character and I understood how he felt and i couldn't help but relate to him. However, the side characters personalities & relations were messy. Some situations should have had more impact than they did. Nothing really had permanence.
The writing was also just... messy. There was a chapter at the beginning that didn't belong there, which was not a great introduction. There was a part where "Hana" was named in Ricky's head when the whole conversation was about him NOT knowing her name. Another part, when he tried to say Andrea was an "angel", it repeatedly said "angel" which was just... painful to read and kinda killed the moment.
Nonetheless, I still really liked it. It felt like this was the first draft (or first few drafts) of something that could have been amazing. Honestly, if there is ever a rewrite (which I wholeheartedly encourage if you have ever thought of doing so) I will definitely give it another chance.
3/5 Stars - A really good concept, but the writing REALLY needs improvement.
The writing was also just... messy. There was a chapter at the beginning that didn't belong there, which was not a great introduction. There was a part where "Hana" was named in Ricky's head when the whole conversation was about him NOT knowing her name. Another part, when he tried to say Andrea was an "angel", it repeatedly said "angel" which was just... painful to read and kinda killed the moment.
Nonetheless, I still really liked it. It felt like this was the first draft (or first few drafts) of something that could have been amazing. Honestly, if there is ever a rewrite (which I wholeheartedly encourage if you have ever thought of doing so) I will definitely give it another chance.
3/5 Stars - A really good concept, but the writing REALLY needs improvement.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 4, 2019
A beautiful exploration of inner conflict of the mind. The characters are fleshed out, intricately explored and I appreciated the nuanced references to existential exploration via the stars and universe. Ricky is our hero turned anti-hero by mental illness, a trope I think needs more exploration in modern fiction. Kingsman tackles the stigmatized subject of mental illness so skillfully that it becomes familiar and understandable. From page one, the reader is gripped into the page-turning story and despite all ambitions to save the main character from himself, we cannot help but empathetically ride passenger on his journey to inevitable self sabotage.
The story left me thinking and feeling long after I finished it.
The story left me thinking and feeling long after I finished it.
July 19, 2021
This is journey into the mind of a very depressed, highly intelligent person.
The character of Ricky was extemely well developed. Even though this book deals with dark subjects, many of Ricky's observant desprictions of things ( or people) made me laugh.
I loved Ricky's character and Blake. I also loved the mom parts which i found darkly amusing.
I found Hana annoying and boring, but i think that was the point.
I liked how the book moved along, with some flashbacks.
The character of Ricky was extemely well developed. Even though this book deals with dark subjects, many of Ricky's observant desprictions of things ( or people) made me laugh.
I loved Ricky's character and Blake. I also loved the mom parts which i found darkly amusing.
I found Hana annoying and boring, but i think that was the point.
I liked how the book moved along, with some flashbacks.
January 6, 2018
It took my breath away. And that’s totally not a pun or anything. But seriously. Amazing. The characters. The craftwork. The intricate details. I loved every single moment and it was even BETTER the second time.
January 28, 2019
K. Kingsman has written an intriguing novel that keeps you reading until you have to stop. I just kept wanting to know what he was thinking, why he was thinking it, what was going to happen. Highly recommend it!
July 11, 2021
I did not finish this book. The "hero" was an immature party animal who did drugs and practiced self-harm all for the adrenaline rush it gave him. I do not mind those elements when they are presented as a problem, but this author portrayed them as attractive.
February 2, 2026
The tw warning is real.
But i felt this book so hard.
Don’t think i will ever forget this one,
Take care, reach out and stay safe x
But i felt this book so hard.
Don’t think i will ever forget this one,
Take care, reach out and stay safe x
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews