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192 pages, Hardcover
First published August 1, 2014
The young boy, who is perhaps a girl, but does not yet know it. The young boy, who is perhaps a girl, but will never touch a man, never strip naked with a man and rub skin against his skin, never ever, no matter how titillatingly repellant the notion might be.
And the day passes, as the day always passes, the mother goes out to her horse (somewhat later than usual), the little brothers play, argue, fight, the four youngsters laze about
He can’t be bothered, he stays up by the house, all that exertion, first you have to get there, then get back.
Then he’s never loved me? Yes, said the mother, of course he has, and that’s why he won’t see you. I don’t understand, said the girl. No, said the mother, people are like that. Then I don’t want to be like people! said the girl.
he yet again feels that inexpressible relief when something, the ultimate, the most sublime, has for a moment been possible, when all you have to do is reach out but you didn’t, and now it is definitively too late, and everything will again just be the same life, which never begins