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Breaking Free: A Way Out for Adult Children of Narcissists
Is there such a thing as “fuck-you!” lit?
If there isn’t, then Lisette SQ has created a brand new genre with her book Breaking Free: A Way Out for Adult Children of Narcissists. Abusers beware! The author grew-up surrounded by narcissists and endured an adult life of the same. She’s mad as hell and she’s not going to take it anymore and she’s bringing other survivors along for the ride. Under Lisette’s tutelage, adult children of narcissists (ACONs) learn to detect and avoid destructive human predators.
In the pages of Breaking Free, the author explores the malignant narcissist’s shadowy underbelly and digs deep into their twisted mindset. Have you ever heard of a Skinsuit malignant narcissist? Let me fill you in. As Lisette describes it, a Skinsuit MN is a hybrid of that crazy copycat chick form the movie “Single White Female,” the deranged bunny boiler from the film “Fatal Attraction” and that lotion toting dude from “Silence of the Lambs.” Beware the MN who wants to get under your skin! Robot mode is another Lisette original and a great strategy to throw the narcissist in your life off their game. Never let a narcissists into your head is her motto and the key to successful mental warfare with this dangerous interspecies.
Some of the vignettes in Breaking Free will leave you horrified; others will leave you in hysterics. Comedy, tragedy, anger, fury, despair and disgust come together to create one hell of an interesting and therapeutic read. Hold on tight because this book is intense and chances are it will stop you dead in your tracks, force you to think and leave you touched on some deep level. It even includes the voices of many survivors who have been willing to come forward and shout out the truth precisely because the author is able to reach them.
Lisette does not explain sadistic narcissism in clinical jargon; she unmasks these insidious human predators in visceral terms. Through shrewd observation and one illuminating example after the other, she fleshes-out the nuances of covert psychological abuse; how the personality disordered triangulate and scapegoat, recruit proxy threats, gaslight and use mind-control techniques, fabricate outrageous lies, cheat, steal, provoke and hurl false accusations in order to feign victimhood and exploit pity. Awareness is vital when a master manipulator has you tangled in their web of deceit and will use any means necessary to destroy your credibility and your life.
The book reads like a thriller and pulls you into the grip of every level of narcissistic debauchery: from the sniveling victim acts and bottomless greed, to the attention-whoring and parasitic lifestyles, to the obscenely entitled and ridiculously haughty, to the sneaky, treacherous and sinister.
The author has been tackling the subject of malignant narcissism since 2011 and her blog House of Mirrors was the place to be on the net where victims could go to claim their voice and vent their rage at the personality disordered among us. Lisette produced numerous articles that went viral, the blog garnered hits in the millions and the narcissistic abuse recovery process began for survivors around the world.
Breaking Free is a compilation of 40 of the grittiest blog essays and includes a stream of fury generated by the comments after each post. It unites victims of narcissistic abuse in collective outrage, and claws back a piece of justice for those who have been universally abandoned.
Raw and provocatively written, the book explores the ways in which people are left in the aftermath of emotional trauma and how embracing our outrage at cruel and unjust treatment can reconnect us with our self and help us break free from an abusive past.
If there isn’t, then Lisette SQ has created a brand new genre with her book Breaking Free: A Way Out for Adult Children of Narcissists. Abusers beware! The author grew-up surrounded by narcissists and endured an adult life of the same. She’s mad as hell and she’s not going to take it anymore and she’s bringing other survivors along for the ride. Under Lisette’s tutelage, adult children of narcissists (ACONs) learn to detect and avoid destructive human predators.
In the pages of Breaking Free, the author explores the malignant narcissist’s shadowy underbelly and digs deep into their twisted mindset. Have you ever heard of a Skinsuit malignant narcissist? Let me fill you in. As Lisette describes it, a Skinsuit MN is a hybrid of that crazy copycat chick form the movie “Single White Female,” the deranged bunny boiler from the film “Fatal Attraction” and that lotion toting dude from “Silence of the Lambs.” Beware the MN who wants to get under your skin! Robot mode is another Lisette original and a great strategy to throw the narcissist in your life off their game. Never let a narcissists into your head is her motto and the key to successful mental warfare with this dangerous interspecies.
Some of the vignettes in Breaking Free will leave you horrified; others will leave you in hysterics. Comedy, tragedy, anger, fury, despair and disgust come together to create one hell of an interesting and therapeutic read. Hold on tight because this book is intense and chances are it will stop you dead in your tracks, force you to think and leave you touched on some deep level. It even includes the voices of many survivors who have been willing to come forward and shout out the truth precisely because the author is able to reach them.
Lisette does not explain sadistic narcissism in clinical jargon; she unmasks these insidious human predators in visceral terms. Through shrewd observation and one illuminating example after the other, she fleshes-out the nuances of covert psychological abuse; how the personality disordered triangulate and scapegoat, recruit proxy threats, gaslight and use mind-control techniques, fabricate outrageous lies, cheat, steal, provoke and hurl false accusations in order to feign victimhood and exploit pity. Awareness is vital when a master manipulator has you tangled in their web of deceit and will use any means necessary to destroy your credibility and your life.
The book reads like a thriller and pulls you into the grip of every level of narcissistic debauchery: from the sniveling victim acts and bottomless greed, to the attention-whoring and parasitic lifestyles, to the obscenely entitled and ridiculously haughty, to the sneaky, treacherous and sinister.
The author has been tackling the subject of malignant narcissism since 2011 and her blog House of Mirrors was the place to be on the net where victims could go to claim their voice and vent their rage at the personality disordered among us. Lisette produced numerous articles that went viral, the blog garnered hits in the millions and the narcissistic abuse recovery process began for survivors around the world.
Breaking Free is a compilation of 40 of the grittiest blog essays and includes a stream of fury generated by the comments after each post. It unites victims of narcissistic abuse in collective outrage, and claws back a piece of justice for those who have been universally abandoned.
Raw and provocatively written, the book explores the ways in which people are left in the aftermath of emotional trauma and how embracing our outrage at cruel and unjust treatment can reconnect us with our self and help us break free from an abusive past.
348 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2016
83 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
May 13, 2019
Another solid book. The "chapters" are essentially blog posts from the authors blog, so it's a little more free in its writing style but still informative & helpful. It brings a lot of clarity in regards to the author's experience with narcissists as well as those of others.
A word of caution, the last three entries, I believe are extremely dangerous & are very much out of place in the book as well as general literature about narcissists & how to deal with them. They are essentially about playing the narcissists game & trying to beat them at it. No, you shouldn't accept abuse. Yes, you have a right to stand up for yourself, express & maintain clear & he thy boundaries. Most professional advice about dealing with narcs, especially those of the malignant sort, is to go no contact. The reason being they never stop, they don't get enough & they will go to lengths unfathomable even to victims. The rest of us do not think like them & thus are likely not willing to go as far as a narcissist, malignant or not, will go. They get off on & thrive on the mindfucks, most people do not. Even if done on the defensive, the reality is when dealing with a bully/aggressor etc, although society likes to act like someone who retaliates in self-defense are on the same level. They aren't. Someone defending themselves will eventually let go once they feel the threat has subsided, barring some kind of intense emotional flashback, aggressors are on the offensive, with very specific intentions to antagonize & in the case of narcs that is their base, their starting point. For the victims to stay aggressive, they will likely have to work at maintaining their defensive posture & will likely drain themselves in the process because it is not who they are at base. Doing so will only leave you vulnerable to attack because your defensiveness isn't sustainable. After the many helpful & thoughtful entries in the book, I am baffled as to how the author & those who overlooked her work, allowed those entries into the book. It's irresponsible & essentially leading lambs to slaughter. When dealing with narcissists, especially the malignant sort, unless you're willing to murder, its probably unwise to challenge them directly. We're talking about people with no scruples, the will, desire & ability to ignore a conscience or anything resembling it, who thrive on breaking people & those last entries talk challenging them at their own game, one which the average person cannot hope to come close to even thinking like an opponent seemingly built for willful malice. Most advice from therapists say no contact is best because for the most part, they can't get into your head or fuck with you, malignant narcs being the exception because they will stop at nothing. You can follow the advice of those last entries if you want to, just don't kid yourself about what you're up against. I would have rated the book much higher if not for that bullshit.
A word of caution, the last three entries, I believe are extremely dangerous & are very much out of place in the book as well as general literature about narcissists & how to deal with them. They are essentially about playing the narcissists game & trying to beat them at it. No, you shouldn't accept abuse. Yes, you have a right to stand up for yourself, express & maintain clear & he thy boundaries. Most professional advice about dealing with narcs, especially those of the malignant sort, is to go no contact. The reason being they never stop, they don't get enough & they will go to lengths unfathomable even to victims. The rest of us do not think like them & thus are likely not willing to go as far as a narcissist, malignant or not, will go. They get off on & thrive on the mindfucks, most people do not. Even if done on the defensive, the reality is when dealing with a bully/aggressor etc, although society likes to act like someone who retaliates in self-defense are on the same level. They aren't. Someone defending themselves will eventually let go once they feel the threat has subsided, barring some kind of intense emotional flashback, aggressors are on the offensive, with very specific intentions to antagonize & in the case of narcs that is their base, their starting point. For the victims to stay aggressive, they will likely have to work at maintaining their defensive posture & will likely drain themselves in the process because it is not who they are at base. Doing so will only leave you vulnerable to attack because your defensiveness isn't sustainable. After the many helpful & thoughtful entries in the book, I am baffled as to how the author & those who overlooked her work, allowed those entries into the book. It's irresponsible & essentially leading lambs to slaughter. When dealing with narcissists, especially the malignant sort, unless you're willing to murder, its probably unwise to challenge them directly. We're talking about people with no scruples, the will, desire & ability to ignore a conscience or anything resembling it, who thrive on breaking people & those last entries talk challenging them at their own game, one which the average person cannot hope to come close to even thinking like an opponent seemingly built for willful malice. Most advice from therapists say no contact is best because for the most part, they can't get into your head or fuck with you, malignant narcs being the exception because they will stop at nothing. You can follow the advice of those last entries if you want to, just don't kid yourself about what you're up against. I would have rated the book much higher if not for that bullshit.
December 4, 2020
Though I can understand how people might resonate with the style of the book and get some validation for their own situation, it wasn't for me.
The main point is, that it felt just like an endless rant, without focussing on really "Breaking Free".
It felt like the author was still too furious, too affected, that it was a little bit like a demonstration of the Barbara Streisand effect:
Through her venting and emotional writing (including insults, rants and Caps Lock) she still gives her Narc family so much power over her & she still invests so much emotional energy and precious life time in those long, angy rants.
According to her own estimation of Narcs, this fact must give her family a lot of pleasure to feed off on.
It never felt like she really "broke free" in her mind from them. Nor did she show any interest in doing so.
One chapter of the book demonstrates this very well: a mail from one of her blog readers, who advises to, while staying in NC to the family, let go of the anger in her head and live on happily without allowing them to affect her life any further.
This letter gets smashed by her and another blog commenter (even using harsh language) and it felt like the author was not willing to give up this indirect control that her family still holds over her and her mind / thoughts.
I doubt that this is a very healthy way to live life.
The extra star is for giving people in similar situations the validation, that mental abuse in families is a real thing and giving them a confirmation that it is ok to acknowledge their own boundaries by going into NC.
And while, in my personal opinion, it is ok to vent and rant for a reasonable amount of time, at some point the focus needs to shift away, to don't give the resentment and grudge any more space, and aim for the good and happy life that victims of Narc families deserve.
Otherwise, all this ranting and obsessing will probably eat you and your relationships up alive.
The main point is, that it felt just like an endless rant, without focussing on really "Breaking Free".
It felt like the author was still too furious, too affected, that it was a little bit like a demonstration of the Barbara Streisand effect:
Through her venting and emotional writing (including insults, rants and Caps Lock) she still gives her Narc family so much power over her & she still invests so much emotional energy and precious life time in those long, angy rants.
According to her own estimation of Narcs, this fact must give her family a lot of pleasure to feed off on.
It never felt like she really "broke free" in her mind from them. Nor did she show any interest in doing so.
One chapter of the book demonstrates this very well: a mail from one of her blog readers, who advises to, while staying in NC to the family, let go of the anger in her head and live on happily without allowing them to affect her life any further.
This letter gets smashed by her and another blog commenter (even using harsh language) and it felt like the author was not willing to give up this indirect control that her family still holds over her and her mind / thoughts.
I doubt that this is a very healthy way to live life.
The extra star is for giving people in similar situations the validation, that mental abuse in families is a real thing and giving them a confirmation that it is ok to acknowledge their own boundaries by going into NC.
And while, in my personal opinion, it is ok to vent and rant for a reasonable amount of time, at some point the focus needs to shift away, to don't give the resentment and grudge any more space, and aim for the good and happy life that victims of Narc families deserve.
Otherwise, all this ranting and obsessing will probably eat you and your relationships up alive.
April 27, 2018
This is a really important book and it deserves a wide audience. It’s not just for adult children of narcissists; it’s for anyone who has had to deal with the peculiar and devastating behavior of the personality disordered among us. In the pages of Breaking Free you will learn to recognize narcissists and be given practical tips on how to arm yourself from those who use lies, manipulation, cheating and stealing to wreak a path of destruction through innocent lives. This book is unlike any other on the subject because it’s a real page turner. Lisette SQ has created an interesting, stylized, self-defense manual that is sharply written and moves at a brisk pace. It reads like a visceral thriller and brings you into the grips of every level of narcissist from the obscenely selfish and haughty to the truly dangerous and sinister. The author demonstrates an urgent need to warn others about human predators and help them break free from harmful relationships. Anyone who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist and wants to avoid them in the future will find this book a valuable resource.
February 15, 2020
The book takes readers on a wild ride through the frightening twists and turns of the malignant narcissist mind, where the reader can develop clarity, relate and feel. They might feel pretty uncomfortable at times, laugh unexpectedly and cry tears they didn’t know they were suppressing, and that’s what makes this book unique. It’s full of reactions of real people who’ve been willing to come forward and write about their narcissistic family dynamics precisely because the author is able to reach them. Breaking Free offers practical tips on how to recognize even the most subtle narcissistic behaviour and arm yourself from those who use lies, manipulation, cheating and stealing to wreak a path of destruction through innocent lives. Lisette SQ writes like someone who really understands the enemy and she skillfully condenses the deep resentment of being forced into a fight as a target of these malicious beings. The design of the print book is really cool and creative with comments from other survivors after each chapter. It’s kinda rough around the edges and has a very “indie” style but that’s what makes it so real.
September 20, 2020
Wow! This book is a lot different from other books I’ve read about narcissistic abuse. It’s also a wee bit strange. It’s not filled with platitudes about how to heal yourself, it cuts to the core of these psychos who set out to destroy other people’s lives, and encourages the reader to embrace their anger because sometimes that’s all we have left, and sometimes it’s our outrage and anger that keeps us alive after enduring a lifetime of abuse. The book seems to be a product of a popular blog named HOUSE OF MIRRORS where survivors spoke freely and without judgement about malignant narcissists. Unfortunately the blog is no longer online. Don’t know why. I guess I missed the height of the blog, would have liked to have participated. The book fills the void for me from all other books I found lacking on the subject. It’s weirdly ironic and sarcastic and very funny if you have a dark sense of humour. The visual style of the book is interesting and the images for each article push the boundaries. It’s as if the author is alluding to narcissists being the lizard people. Just my take. I think it will end up a classic.
March 2, 2020
This is one of the most important books I've read. For people who have suffered malevolent abuse in the hands of a malignant narcissist--especially those scapegoats trapped with MN parents and/or siblings for much of their lives--this book will feel like a uncut diamond in your hand. The vision, strength, and resilience expressed therein is about the best antidote I have ever seen to the toxic gaslighting of the MN.
Be forewarned, however, the book as published is a bit rough around the edges. It would benefit from a professional edit. That said, the lack of polish does little to reduce the book's overall fiery intensity.
Lisette SQ has saved many psyches--and quite a few lives--by getting this raw treatise into the public domain. And the sooner, the better. It will make the typical MN victim angry as hell, but it will also help the healing begin. For some, anger and sadness are the only things they have left after the spiritual ravages of extended exposure to the MN.
Be forewarned, however, the book as published is a bit rough around the edges. It would benefit from a professional edit. That said, the lack of polish does little to reduce the book's overall fiery intensity.
Lisette SQ has saved many psyches--and quite a few lives--by getting this raw treatise into the public domain. And the sooner, the better. It will make the typical MN victim angry as hell, but it will also help the healing begin. For some, anger and sadness are the only things they have left after the spiritual ravages of extended exposure to the MN.
January 5, 2019
Cathartic! This book pushes back at bullies like narcissists who feel entitled to abuse others with impunity. It also flips the middle finger at tone deaf, tone police and blame the victim types who oppress, silence, and condemn survivors while willfully ignoring the conduct of the guilty.
It's about time a book came along that elevates and empowers victims and shames and ridicules bullies and judgemental hypocrites.
The best thing about Breaking Free: A Way Out For Adult Children of Narcissists is that bad people won't like it. It takes away their power and that makes for a good read!
It's about time a book came along that elevates and empowers victims and shames and ridicules bullies and judgemental hypocrites.
The best thing about Breaking Free: A Way Out For Adult Children of Narcissists is that bad people won't like it. It takes away their power and that makes for a good read!
January 11, 2021
Powerful book, lots of rage here but extraordinarily, uncannily on-point with descriptions of what a narcissistic parent is like. Good for knowing you aren't alone.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews