Okay so wow.
This Audiobook was life changing to say the least. My Psychologist recommended to me: "Greater than the Sum of Our Parts" which was written/voiced by Richard C Shwartz, a PhD psych who invented the form of therapy in the book called Internal Family Systems or IFS, and in this school of thought he teaches that human minds are not... made up of just one mind like we think they are, he says society teaches us to think that everyone has a "monomind" and it kinda harms both ourselves and society.
He states that he's used this form of psychotherapy to heal/rehabilitate the worst humankind has to offer, so called "sociopaths" who've committed atrocities and made them feel empathy for what they've done, these people are often victims of trauma themselves according to him (over 38K case studies or some shit) as well as just survivors themselves who haven't committed atrocities but have hurt people in other ways, and/or just themselves.
(stay with me here this next part is gonna sound crazy but just... keep an open mind and give it a go)
So I've been listening to this book and following along with the meditation exercises, and even though it's therapy I've felt like a lunatic talking to myself, because these parts of mine speak back to me as if they have minds of their own (no joke am not kidding) and even though the guy in the book told me to expect this it was still a reality altering surreal experience.
I've even given it to two of my friends and they've been following along and had the same experience, but I mean it's a certified and tested therapy used by professional Psychs so...
I guess I find it ironic that talking to yourself somehow fixes your mental health issues, like okay I thought that's what made you crazy but according to this no, everyone who thinks their mind is just one thing is actually the "crazy" one (kinda), likely to act out on behalf of a part they don't realise is it's own entity and is hurt and hijacks the whole system performing some stunt (hence the "I'm back on my bullshit" phenomenon/meme)
One of my friends asked me when I tried to explain this, he said "you make it sound like everyone has DID?" (Multiple Personality Disorder)
And I'm like no, not everyone has that disorder but everyone has these parts. It's actually normal.
So an example of the mind being in multiple parts would be like, you know someone or you are someone who's addicted to something; smoking, alcohol, drugs, prescription medication, sex, eating, gambling whatever man, and they or you want to or even declare that they're/you are going to give it up, that they/you don't want to engage in this behaviour anymore, but then they or you go ahead and do it again anyway, why is that?
Or when someone gets angry easily, constantly blows up all of the time and every time without fail afterwards they are super regretful of their actions, they might even get really upset about it whether they let people see it or not.
These are different parts within the mind at war with each other, because not every part agrees with your centre self or the other parts, they literally have minds of their own and this therapy teaches you how to go into your mind and ask them why the fuck they do this stupid bullshit that they do, hurt others or yourself. By listening to and understanding your parts, and what forced them into the role they were forced into you can help them come out of it. We've all experienced this, conflicted feelings, debates within ourselves about what to do or how to act. This just brings that to your attention better.
You might also find it weird that some adults have hobbies or interests which seem childlike, this is because it's actually very likely that trauma happened to them at an age that was very young and so those parts of them are stuck at that age.
It's insanely effective therapy. So effective that I've been realizing what a dickhead I've been and I've come to regret it deeply. Things parts of me has said or done, embarrassed myself in insane attempts of self sabotage. Oh you're doing well in one part of your life suddenly? Can't let people get close to you, gotta drive em away by being dickhead.
One part of me desperately wants to succeed at life and change and others are deeply terrified of people, whilst another loathes their very existence, and another yearns for intimacy and human connection. Confusing? You fucking betchya.
I only recently started getting empathy for everyone and it's because of this therapy. I have a part of me that fucking hates people, loathes them, it thinks some fucked up shit about people and how they are and how they should be treated. Demented fucking shit.
"Normies" were filth below me/him and weren't to be respected, only people who'd shared my/his pain were worthy of respect. The rest could go fuck themselves. I actually have a knack for spotting people who are... damaged? I've almost always been right about it, even if they don't tell me straight out what happened to them they will usually confirm something fucked up happened to them either as kids or adults. And I'm good with those people I really am, always have been most of the time but I can't just care for people who are "like me" anymore.
But now I'm suddenly hit with heightened empathy for everyone, not just the down trodden, with realization of my actions and it's fucking crippled me emotionally.
So that was fun I guess, but I mean what are my other options? Just like go on doing the stupid shit forever? Change is better the quicker it happens.
And as much as it pains certain parts of me to admit, I am deeply fucking sorry about my behaviour. It's also my hope that this helps some others out there who may be interested in this therapy. I feel like this book has not only drastically changed the way I see people and the world, but my characters and how I will write them.