PHYS666: Quantum Computing Democritus’ Willybits With Q-Bits.
Miskatonic University, Fall 2006 Tuesdays and Thursdays, as the moon shines on the luminiferous ether.
Fhtagn! Building, 2nd floor seminar room (ECCF2125)
Instructor: Jen “Keep it in the circus” Kumiko.
Office hours: via astral projection (Original NFT Diploma of Dr. Herbert West MD required)
Description: When I force your incredulous, novitiate asses into the Stygian depths of your arcane edification, your physiology, by the primal edicts of lizard logic, will move in a kind of autonomic atavism of death ballet, characterized by arms moving rapidly up and down and legs going to and fro, which experienced Lifeguards have come to call “climbing the ladder”. This knowledge will do little to keep you from hyperventilating as your grimacing mug is aggressively cropped by the tenebrous fuck-podge of disparate concepts which comprise the heavy, unstable nucleus of this course, until your screaming image dissolves to a white dot in the center of an undeflected electron beam exciting the phosphors in the front tube of a cathode ray television as the voltage drops. A high concentration of mathematical and philosophical problems that predate quantum computing (i.e. the measurement problem, P versus NP, the existence of secure cryptography, the Humean problem of induction, or the possibility of closed time-like curves) combined with the strong hand which rises from the grave to grip the wheel (i.e. my giant man-handibles) palming your face like a parasitic life form freshly emerged from a Xenomorph egg, triggers the need to take a deep breath of semi-reliable communal sense-making. In the first breath, copious amounts of axiomatic prestidigitation are inhaled, you see this future lesson:
Obscenely tall Asian woman futilely attempting to hotbox an e-cigarette in poorly ventilated faculty bathroom. Concerned student ejects pontifical detritus from face-hole about the risks of vaping which are transmitted via telepathy to agitated percipient who flings mango flavored pen into the toilet and storms off toward the offending concern-troll, crepuscular vestments fluttering. Irate witch bursts through door in the manner of Cosmo Kramer, issues a: “Hello class.” Followed by a violent physical gesture alloyed with the following incantation: “Hot Spacho!” An eldritch death curse first uttered by Samuel Jackson in infamous Capital One Fondue TV Spot. Reducing student to a toxic puddle of anaerobic bacteria excrement.
“You’ll wanna be extremely careful about breathing that in. Anywhoo! Enough pussydicking around. Let's see some axioms for set theory. I'll state the axioms in Muggle; converting them to first-order logic is left as an exercise for you daft coonts”
Empty Set: There exists an empty set.
Extensionality: If two sets have the same members then they're equal.
Pairing: For all sets x,y there exists a set {x,y}.
Union: For all sets x, there exists a set equal to the union of all sets in x.
Existence of Infinite Sets: There exists a set x that contains the empty set and that contains y∪{y} for every y∈x.
Power Set: For all sets x there exists a set consisting of the subsets of x.
Replacement (for every function A): For all sets x, there exists a set {A(y) | y∈x}.
Foundation: All nonempty sets x have a member y such that for all z, either z∉x or z∉y.
(This is a technical axiom, whose point is to rule out sets like {{{{...}}}}.)
“These axioms -- called the Zermelo-Fraenkel axioms -- are the foundation for basically all of math. So I thought you should see them at least once in your life.”
As these concepts perpetrate inexpressible acts of Corpus Callosium Paizuri betwixt the moist hemispheres of your brain, the larynx usually closes, preventing Propositional Tautologies, Modus Ponens, Equality Rules, Change of Variables, Quantifier Elimination, Quantifier Addition, and Quantifier Rules from reaching the lungs. However, you will soon lose consciousness and, as your neural funhouse is inundated with spirit molecules, you will lurch forward in time once more to apprehend a punitive lesson doled out many months hence:
Giant Hāfu Scandinasian Death Eater eye-bones motley assemblage of feckless undergrads, impatiently tapping out the beat of - Garbage: Only Happy When It Rains - with her wand and foot. “Well?” She says. To which a timid ginger replies: “That was my mother. She says that gran has passed away…” Eliciting a swish of robes and a shrieking, verbal catalyst, “Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!” Resulting in effulgent luminosity and commensurate seismic upheaval, with the freckled, crestfallen student at the epicenter. She is never seen again.
“So what's the real result? It's that there's a basic problem, called the halting problem, that no program can ever solve. The halting problem is this: we're given a program, and we want to decide if it ever halts. Of course we can run the program for a while, but what if the program hasn't halted after a million years? At what point should we give up?”
“One piece of evidence that this problem might be hard is that, if we could solve it, then we could also solve many famous unsolved math problems. For example, Goldbach's Conjecture says that every even number 4 or greater can be written as a sum of two primes. Now, we can easily write a program that tests 4, 6, 8, and so on, halting only if it finds a number that can't be written as a sum of two primes. Then deciding whether that program ever halts is equivalent to deciding the truth of Goldbach's Conjecture.”
“But can we prove there's no program to solve the halting problem? This is what Turing does. His key idea is not even to try to analyze the internal dynamics of such a program, supposing it existed. Instead he simply says, suppose by way of contradiction that such a program P exists. Then we can modify P to produce a new program P' that does the following.”
“Given another program Q as input, P' runs forever if Q halts given its own code as input, or halts if Q runs forever given its own code as input. Now we just feed P' its own code as input. By the conditions above, P' will run forever if it halts, or halt if it runs forever. Therefore P' -- and by implication P -- can't have existed in the first place.”
“Homework Assignment: Let BB(n), or the "nth Busy Beaver number," be the maximum number of steps that an n-state Turing machine can make on an initially blank tape before halting. (Here the maximum is over all n-state Turing machines that eventually halt.) Prove that BB(n) grows faster than any computable function.”
“Let S = 1/BB(1) + 1/BB(2) + 1/BB(3) + ... Is S a computable real number? In other words, is there an algorithm that, given as input a positive integer k, outputs a rational number S' such that |S-S'|<1/k?”
The spasm relaxes, allowing the following epochs to enter the lungs and disrupt the surfactant: Late Turingzoic, Dawn of the Asymptotic Age, The Cook-Levin Asteroid; extinction of the Diagonalosaurs, The Karpian Explosion, Early Cryptozoic, Randomaceous Era, Eruption of Mt. Razborudich; extinction of the Combinataurs, Invasion of the Quantodactyls, Derandomaceous Era, causing the alveoli to collapse and prevent life-giving oxygen from being diffused into tissues and inducing one final vision:
“But why would Schrödinger be interested in this dialogue? Well, Schrödinger was interested in a lot of things. He was not an intellectual monogamist (or really any kind of monogamist). But one reason he might've been interested is a certain equation he was involved with, which you've probably heard about.”
i dψ/dt = Hψ
“Actually, let me write it in a more correct form.”
|ψt+1⟩ = U |ψt⟩
“What is this equation? Well, maybe you have to add a few details to it -- like the physics -- but once you do, it describes the evolution of a quantum pure state. For any isolated region of the universe that you want to consider, this equation describes the evolution in time of the state of that region, which we represent as a normalized linear combination - a superposition - of all the possible configurations of elementary particles in that region. So you can think of this equation as the sophisticated, modern version of Democritus's "atoms and the void." And as we all know, it does pretty well at the atoms and the void part.”
“The part where it maybe doesn't do so well is the "from us you take your evidence" part. Where's the "us"? Remember, the equation describes a superposition over all possible configurations of particles. So, I don't know -- are you in superposition? I don't feel like I am!”
“Incidentally, one thing I'm not going to do in this class is try to sell you on some favorite interpretation of quantum mechanics. You're free to believe any interpretation your conscience dictates. (What's my own view? Well, I agree with every interpretation to the extent it says there's a problem, and disagree with every interpretation to the extent it claims to have solved the problem!)”
“Anyway, just like we can classify religions as monotheistic and polytheistic, we can classify interpretations of quantum mechanics by where they come down on the "putting-yourself-in-coherent-superposition" issue. On the one side, we've got the interpretations that enthusiastically sweep the issue under the rug: Copenhagen and its Bayesian and epistemic grandchildren. In these interpretations, you've got your quantum system, you've got your measuring device, and there's a line between them. Sure, the line can shift from one experiment to the next, but for any given experiment, it's gotta be somewhere. In principle, you can even imagine putting other people on the quantum side, but you yourself are always on the classical side. Why? Because a quantum state is just a representation of your knowledge -- and you, by definition, are a classical being.”
“But what if you want to apply quantum mechanics to the whole universe, including yourself? The answer, in the epistemic-type interpretations, is simply that you don't ask that sort of question! Incidentally, that was Bohr's all-time favorite philosophical move, his WWF piledrive: "You're not allowed to ask such a question!"
“On the other side we've got the interpretations that do try in different ways to make sense of putting yourself in superposition: many-worlds, Bohmian mechanics, etc.”
“Now, to hardheaded problem-solvers like ourselves, this might seem like a big dispute over words -- why bother? I actually agree with that: if it were just a dispute over words, then we shouldn't bother! But as David Deutsch pointed out in the late 1970's, we can conceive of experiments that would differentiate the first type of interpretation from the second type. The simplest experiment would just be to put yourself in coherent superposition and see what happens! Or if that's too dangerous, put someone else in coherent superposition. The point being that, if human beings were regularly being put into superposition, then the whole business of drawing a line between "classical observers" and the rest of the universe would become untenable.”
“But alright -- human brains are wet, goopy, sloppy things, and maybe we won't be able to maintain them in coherent superposition for 500 million years. So what's the next best thing? Well, we could try to put a computer in superposition. The more sophisticated the computer was -- the more it resembled something like a brain, like ourselves -- the further up we would have pushed the 'line' between quantum and classical. You can see how it's only a minuscule step from here to quantum computing.”
While breathing has ceased, the heart usually continues to beat, but at an accelerated rate. Before stopping, it may progress to a stage of fibrillation. Once breathing and the heart stops, you will emerge from this experience a newly born factotum. There will be no concept orthogonal enough that you cannot correlate them with your big dick (and vulva, respectively) interdisciplinary energies.
Prerequisites: Mathematical maturity, some previous exposure to quantum computing, the will to master unforgivable curses.
Responsibilities: Crush your enemies.
Suggested Readings:
Democritus (from Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
David Deutsch, Quantum theory as a universal physical theory (unfortunately, can only be accessed from within the university). Pages 32-37 describe the notorious thought experiment. See also Chapter 1 of Minds, Machines, and the Multiverse by Julian Brown.
Alan Turing, On Computable Numbers
Alan Turing, Computing Machinery and Intelligence
Roger Penrose, The Emperor's New Mind
Sanjeev Arora and Boaz Barak, Complexity Theory: A Modern Approach (free draft available on the web)
Lucien Hardy, Quantum theory from five simple axioms