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Monjas lesbianas/ Lesbian Nuns: Se Rompe El Silencio/Lesbian Nuns : Breaking Silence

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Seix Barral. Barcelona. 1985. 20 cm. 398 p. il. Encuadernación en tapa blanda de editorial ilustrada. Traducción del inglés por Jorge Binaghi. Religiosas. Lesbianismo. Manahan, Nancy .. Este libro es de segunda mano y tiene o puede tener marcas y señales de su anterior propietario. ISBN: 84-322-4563-1

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First published January 1, 1985

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Rosemary Curb

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
Profile Image for Sue Donovan.
2 reviews4 followers
May 1, 2014
I read this book years ago when it was first released. Of course, I had better reason to read it than some. I was newly out squared; I'd exited the convent a few years before, and exited the closet a few years after leaving the convent. Thus, I could relate very closely to the stories in this book.
It was a different time. Roe v. Wade was relatively recent. The women's movement was going strong. The Bakke decision tells us right wing backlash was well funded even prior to Reagan's election . Conservatives were very effective in presenting feminism as lesbianism... Meaning the movement lost Republican women, housewives, and soccer moms afraid of what their husbands and family would think.

Many of us were deeply closeted. It was not uncommon to be fired, even evicted, for being gay. If you grew up Catholic and female there were three options: marriage + babies unlimited, the religious life, OR single life, which was like watching black and white tv: never by choice and only in the absence of any other options.

Reading Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence was a watershed event! Up to that point, I thought I was alone in the world. An ex-nun and lesbian? How much more of a freak could I be?? But many in the small (but vibrant) women's community were talking about this book. I quickly discovered I was not alone or even unusual. That made perfect sense. While my childhood friends were fantasizing about marrying their college sweetheart and what the babies would look like, I was fantasizing moving far, far away from home and family so I could figure out who the heck I was. In the convent I lived in close proximity with other women without any pressure to explore a sexual relationship. Today that might seem suspiciously naive, but for girls growing up Catholic back then it made a lot of sense. I wasn't given sex education. The little sex I knew I learned from my friends. And that sure didn't include the topic of lesbianism.

In the convent, we were warned about "particular friendships" - a code term for lesbianism. The nuns thought that by spending too much time with one another we would fall in love. Even that made no sense to me since I was only 15. I had no idea what they were referring to until much later in my life. Religious life SEEMED like a good idea at the time. The fact that I wasn't terribly religious didn't seem like a big problem. The elephant in the middle of the room was my latent sexuality. From this book, I learned I was not alone in this, either.

Lesbian Nuns is NOT erotic. It is NOT about lesbians getting hot & heavy in the convent. This book is about self discovery. It is a compendium of many "coming out" stories. Some of them are funny, some are quite serious. All are touching in their own way. Not all will speak to you personally - we cannot possibly relate to everyone's experiences. If you are a person of faith - or were at one time - this book will speak to you in a way that other LGBT coming out stories will not. If you are curious about lesbian history in the mid 20th century - this is a good book for you.
Profile Image for Cal.
32 reviews4 followers
March 16, 2012
This is NOT lesbian erotic pulp fiction. It is non-fiction-- the stories of 50 lesbians who were nuns, some were still nuns too.

I found it really interesting to hear about how there was a word used to describe, and chastise women for developing close, intimate relationships inside the convent, "particular friendships."

The descriptions of life within the convents was fascinating as well. Although some of the women engaged in physical relationships with other nuns on the inside, most abstained while trying to come out to themselves as lesbians. It was difficult to read about some of these women's experiences upon leaving the convent. While some women seemed undeterred by leaving the convent, others struggled with depression, joblessness, family issues and finding their place in a society that is hostile toward women, especially queer women.

Overall, I found the book informative.
Profile Image for Mo.
330 reviews64 followers
August 11, 2007
I read this the second I got out of Catholic school and suddenly everything that had happened in the previous 13 years made perfect sense to me. I still love this book and I give major props to anyone who is willing to speak their own truth and speak out no matter what.
Profile Image for Geraldine.
29 reviews2 followers
July 22, 2015
I have read Lesbian Nuns at least 3 times. I was one. Don't expect erotica. Expect innocence and honesty. And remember...We had no words. We had no language. These women were born in the 40s and 50s and 60s
Profile Image for Liralen.
3,342 reviews276 followers
July 20, 2015
For most of my convent life my emotional and sexual needs were either repressed or redirected into prayer, work, or other acceptable activities. (Jessie, 75)

Fascinating collection of stories of women who identify as lesbian (the book capitalised it—Lesbian—which tickled me pink) and who were, or are, nuns. It's so interesting both for their stories of coming out to themselves (many of which were quite similar) but also for the diversity of convent teachings and for the glimpses of what happened after—after they realised their sexuality, after they acted upon it, after they left the convent (or didn't).

The book is almost thirty years old by now, and many of the women represented in the book were nuns (and left their convents) in the fifties and sixties, or right around Vatican II. Loved seeing how, for some of them, Vatican II was a change that came too late; for others, it was something unwanted, enough of a disruption to be a catalyst for leaving.

As always with a collection by people who are by and large non-writers, some pieces are stronger than others—but generally speaking, they have enough distance to speak of their time as nuns with humour and insight. At first, when I was young and dedicated, my conscience would get the better of me, and I would go to the chapel, fall on my knees, cry, and promise that I would never stray again. it was all very dramatic. But my resolutions did not last long. (Charlotte A. Doclar, 177)

But it runs the gamut of experience. Some women had relatively liberal orders: For the first time in my life sexuality is acknowledged by adults. My religious superiors say, "Yes, you are a sexual person, Helen. You may have certain feelings. Choose not to encourage them." (Helen Horigan, 263) Along the 'liberal orders' end of things, some of the book's writers who were still nuns at the time of writing describe religious communities that were aware, explicitly or not, of their sexuality and/or relationships.

On the other end of things, you have this: There were not any physical Lesbian relationships in my convent because we had complete separation of bodies. Each one of us had a cell, and each cell was locked from the outside before retirement by the Mother Superior. (Maria Cristina, 214) You have women sent home because of their crushes, or scorned for being too 'masculine'; you have story after story of one person being disciplined or sent to another location to break up a 'particular friendship'. (The woman I quote here is actually an anomaly in the book, as she knew she was a lesbian when she went into the convent, and she explicitly viewed being a nun as something temporary, a time for self-examination and asking hard questions. I don't begrudge her the use of a pseudonym, but I wish I could look her up, because that's a whole nother kind of journey, and I'd like to read more!)

Soon after, we took our first vows. As part of the ceremony we were to prostrate under the long black pal, professing celibacy, poverty, and obedience. I promised God never to feel again, never to be visible, to continue my path toward greatness that everyone told me I was destined for. (Jane E. McLarson, 120)

By and large, the women writing here have chosen lives that have taken them far from that invisibility: a lot of activists; a lot of self-identified radicals and the like. I'm not sure how representative that is of lesbian ex-nuns as a whole (or ex-nuns as a whole—I can only think of one I know myself, and she's very much of the radical-activist bent), but, well, it's lovely to see them pushing the boundaries of what one thinks when one thinks nun.
Profile Image for marta.
207 reviews26 followers
May 3, 2025
chcialabym zeby powstala druga czesc jeszcze bardziej wspolczesna … jestem ciekawa czy cokolwiek sie w kwestii lesbijek wybierajacych droge duchowa zmienilo
Profile Image for Lis.
225 reviews
Want to read
December 28, 2007
I happen to know a lesbian nun or two.
Profile Image for julia.
200 reviews3 followers
February 1, 2025
muy triste q algunas reseñan clarifiquen q este no es un libro porno. signo d lo sexualizadas q están todavía las lesbianas por ser simplemente ellas mismas, lesbianas. Muy triste tb la cantidad d mujeres q se vieron casi obligadas a meterse a monjas porq vivían en un mundo dd coartar tus libertades y necesidades ingresando en una institución ciertamente terrorífica era más normal y natural q vivir amando a una mujer sin vergüenza alguna y con la felicidad q produce. Tb muy triste q con seis años ya t estén diciendo q t pega ser monja simplemente porq eres una niña "buena"
en uno d los testimonios donna le pregunta a la ex monja kevyn si cree q "tendría q haber un programa de contra reclutamiento en la comunidad de mujeres para jóvenes q consideran la idea d ingresar al convento". Kevyn contesta inmediatamente: "¡sí, definitivamente!"
Profile Image for Grace Mechler.
21 reviews
February 3, 2024
Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence provides a rich, incredibly well-written account of the complexities of life inside the convent. Discussions center not only around religious life but around the feminist movement of the 60s, resistance against the government, and the intersectionality of class and race in the 60s and 70s.

For these women, the choice to enter the convent wasn’t always an impassioned religious experience. Rather, it was access to a guaranteed higher education, a reliable source of food and shelter, and most of all, a life lived in a community outside the bounds of a male-centered society.

Since breaking free from the convent, many of these women are known as professors, authors, researchers, and business owners in career, and radical feminists, anarchists, witches and dedicated environmental activists in passion.
Profile Image for Maya.
138 reviews1 follower
February 25, 2025
A revelatory read on both a historical, social, and personal level.

“If our culture defines normality in terms of male experience and values only women who relate to men, both nuns and Lesbians tend to be ridiculed or dismissed as irrelevant to the strides of history.”

"both nuns and lesbians are emotionally inaccessible to male coercion. Time and energy which heterosexual women devote to catering to men can be focused on private or communal projects. Despite similarities, a male-defined culture which moralizes about "sins of the flesh" and the pollution and evil of women's carnal desires sees both nuns and lesbians as "unnatural" but at opposite poles on a scale of female virtue”

"I didn't know I was in love with her. I only knew that the chapel vibrated when she walked in"
Profile Image for Nic.
330 reviews6 followers
July 16, 2015
This eye opening book is a compilation of 50 lesbian nuns personal accounts of their years in the convent. I'm not rating this book on the writing since each nun writes so differently, but on the main points put forward. Some of the essays are poorly written, and it's somewhat hard to understand the gist. A few were written with a fun sense of humor and got a good laugh out of me. Well, I'm minding my own business being a good camp counselor when Sister Beth comes on to me like a diesel dyke in a honkytonk bar.171 Their combined message, though, is an important one, and their honesty and frank style won me over as they shared very personal, and often painful, details of their experiences.

Important realities emphasized:

Cloistering young women together, fresh out of high school, when hormones are running rampant, will most likely lead to some acting out on powerful, natural urges. Adding a young, lonely, confused butch lesbian to this charged atmosphere, will also light some fires. Attempts to suppress, deny, threaten, or make guilty such natural tendencies will most likely not succeed and will cause pain and confusion.

In the 60's and 70's, when the majority of these nuns entered the convent, the cloistered walls offered a perceived haven from marriage, an opportunity to obtain a college education, and a sanctuary/respite from dating pressures for those with confused sexual identities. Dad said it was my life to choose, but he wasn't thrilled about convent life. Nor did they think much of the Air Force. And they couldn't afford to send me to college to become a physical education teacher, although my younger brother went. Girls studied typing, boys went to college. At least, if I went to the convent, I would get to go to college."113 I entered religious life at eighteen. I did not want to get married, and in those days my only alternative was religious life.139

Some priests were also acting out, sexually, in the convent, with nuns.

Not all nuns are lesbians, and many nuns, including lesbian nuns, remain celibate. The vow of celibacy is a tall spiritual order (gay or straight), and some do attain it.

It's important, healthy, and natural to be true to yourself.

I remain hopeful that the church can move from an attitude of "don't ask, don't tell", to full, welcoming acceptance in the convents and the pews.



Profile Image for Emma.
Author 7 books25 followers
September 16, 2015
Not erotica. It covers the psychological conflicts tearing women apart who believe they are lesbian nuns. Published in 1985 the language was considered to be highly controversial, however, it felt a little boring at times for today's more exposed liberal audiences. The fascinating insight into the mentality of the women, before, during and after their devotion to the church is worth the old brittle pages it's printed on. Read it to learn something about the struggle of being gay and celibate or convent values verses lesbian ethics. If this book was a movie staring Jessica Lang, Kathy Bates, Sally Field, Jane Seymore and Betty White reflecting upon their lives... we would all be at the theatre.
Profile Image for Pearl.
312 reviews33 followers
February 6, 2021
This book has a lot of emotions...but it feels very dated. These are autobiographical tales from women nearly two generations removed from me, and while I appreciate their bravery, their writing often falls into 1960s women’s studies platitudes.

The chapters all run along the same vein: I grew up in a close-minded American town, joined the convent, had a nervous breakdown, now live and love in [insert big liberal city here]

Second wave feminism is very much at work here, and while I can stomach the self-empowering language (and can ignore the rampant appropriation of Indigenous cultures once these women ‘find their way’), I can’t ignore the fact that this anthology needed a better editor.

It’s not a bad book, it’s just not a good book either.
Profile Image for Anna Gaffney.
13 reviews2 followers
July 17, 2022
While it’s necessary to read this book critically and take the perspectives with a grain of salt (the very last passage being an interview with a vocal TERF 🤢🤬) especially for the time it was written, it was a very interesting perspective into convent life. The first hand accounts of inner turmoils and interpersonal relationships showcased strong commonalities as well as the uniqueness in each experience. It’s fascinating to see so many women look back on a time in their life and reflect on their motivations, loves, and sexuality.
Profile Image for Stephy.
271 reviews52 followers
October 11, 2008
I actually learned obout this book because my sister's lover of some 40+ years wrote something for it. I loved the book. Even among the most invisible women, lesbians are invisible!
Profile Image for Sucre.
552 reviews45 followers
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September 23, 2024
this isn't a book I feel particularly comfortable rating, so I'm choosing not to.

the things i get out of reading works like these is a sense of community, of at least knowing that there have always been people out there that have felt as I did, that have dealt with extreme homophobia and misogyny and still chosen to follow their true selves despite the immense pain. it also felt calming to read about these women who have job hopped and changed their careers so frequently and are still happy with their lives. im currently unemployed and have been struggling, so it was surprisingly comforting to read the lists of the many different jobs these women have held. I also really liked the photos being included - it's fun seeing older lesbian fashion and hairstyles!

this isn't a book i'd recommend reading all in one go, or even over the course of two days like I did. a lot of the beats are the same, even though the perspectives are all unique, and it can start to run together quickly. the writing quality is a mixed bag. i did feel like I learned a lot about Catholicism and nuns, subjects I'm not very well-versed in. it was interesting learning about how different all of their experiences could be, and how the idea of lesbianism or "particular friendships" was handled in different convents. a few of the sections that really lost me focused more on mysticism, and one in particular was just a woman's dream diary + her own interpretations of her dreams that was incredibly tiring to read.

reading any kind of historical lesbian work requires a good understanding of the politics of the time as well as different movements that existed in the community. this book, being published in the 80s and largely speaking to lesbians who came out in the 60s or 70s, pays a lot of lip service to lesbian separatist movements and feminine spirituality. one of the former nuns interviewed is Janice Raymond, author of the Transsexual Empire and notorious TERF and SWERF (she claims to be the first person to be given the TERF label) who is responsible for a lot of the current talking points around trans identities and transitioning. these talking points have led to very real bodily harm inflicted on trans women, both by their communities and their governments. by now I'm used to running into these issues while reading historical lesbian texts, but felt it's worth mentioning for anyone who maybe was interested in this and wouldn't be as aware. I think it's important to know the history that precedes us, including the incredibly harmful parts, so I find merit in reading these works even though I do not agree with a lot of the beliefs the women in them uphold. however I do not blame anyone who does not want to touch a work associated with such a notoriously vile person. her interview being the closing chapter was was a truly sour ending to the collection.
137 reviews28 followers
March 8, 2021
I related to this book so much. I grew up Catholic and closeted, and there were so many moments and passages in this book that reflected my own experiences exactly. The particular brand of homophobia within Catholicism is illustrated beautifully here, offering many perspectives from people from different backgrounds.

Many of the personal accounts and essays included in this book are similar, which can become a bit repetitive, but the similarities shared by so many different women are eye-opening and part of what makes the book so fascinating and important. The shared experiences of these women matter, and their experiences in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s can be reflected and seen today among lesbian/bi women.

I think it's so important to look at history and see ourselves, and Catholic/ex-Catholic women in the lesbian/bi community can definitely find parts of their histories in this book to relate to.

Profile Image for Juniperus.
481 reviews18 followers
February 28, 2022
This book took me forever to finish. Not in a bad way, I’m not saying the writing was inelegant, but that it was so emotionally difficult to read that I would have to put it down for a few days after a chapter or two or else I would get extremely depressed. After finishing it, I’m completely convinced that Catholicism is a cult.

My next film will be an adaptation of Kate Chopin’s short story “Lilacs” (inshallah!) which is about lesbian nuns. As I am culturally atheist, I feel the need to do a lot of research to ensure the convent culture I depict onscreen is fairly accurate. So, I decided to pick up this book, which contains 48 seemingly unedited testimonials from ex-nuns and current nuns. In classic Chopin fashion, it’s very ambiguous whether the women in “Lilacs” are in a lesbian relationship or what the church calls “particular friends,” and before reading Lesbian Nuns I was struggling with how to handle this ambiguity. But so many of the true stories are rife with duality, because in many ways the existence of lesbian nuns relies on contradictions. As the pseudonymous Sister Agatha says in the book, “don’t be so rigid in your understanding of chastity.”

Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence is not an analytical work that’s been edited to analyze its subject; rather it’s formed of primary sources, mostly unedited, but these take many forms, from simple straightforward narratives to interviews to diaries and dream journals. They range from the extremely bitter to the accepting of a past that may have regrets, and I appreciated hearing from women of many different backgrounds and points of view. My favorite sections were “Journal of a Novice” by Barbara MacKenna, which was a contemporaneous journal and gave lots of useful details about daily life in a convent, and “Second Generation” by Mary Alice Scully, which was about a mother and a daughter who were both coincidentally lesbian nuns. That amazing story alone could make a movie itself! My one wish is that the focus of the book was not so America- (and Canada-)centric; my film takes place in France and I am curious to know how cultural differences impact homophobia in the church. But aside from my research, the stories in this book were overwhelmingly those of strength and overcoming, not resignation, which is ultimately very inspiring to me. The intersection between “lesbian” and “nun” may not seem very large, but the editor Rosemary Curb makes the logical connection on the first page:

"If our culture defines normality in terms of male experience and values only women who relate to men, both nuns and Lesbians tend to be ridiculed or dismissed as irrelevant to the strides of history."

I will warn you though that the last interview in this book is with Janice Raymond, with whom I disagree with her views on gender, and there’s a passing reference to her book The Transsexual Empire. I’m not one to ‘cancel’ the entire book based on that, because this book has nothing to do with that, but just in case you wanted to be aware, it was a little jarring for me!
Profile Image for Morgan.
183 reviews8 followers
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March 11, 2025
wow. this was a great read.

this book is a collection of first hand accounts from lesbian nuns that was published in ‘85. each story varied in really beautiful way. it definitely healed some religious trauma. i’ve always made jokes that i was a nun in another life, and i see so much of myself in these stories. joyous, shameful, funny, heart-wrenching, and, at times, deeply horny. kinda checks all the boxes if you ask me.

also: some of the stories have pics of the writer from when they were in the convent vs. “now” and i gotta say. some of them are SMOKIN’
Profile Image for aud.
87 reviews1 follower
August 12, 2025
nuns are true lovers and sensualists i will admire them forever
Profile Image for npc gr(an)dm(a).
86 reviews
February 19, 2024
En realidad la puntuacion exacta sería 9/10, porque al final son entrevistas muy chulas, diferentes pero con muchas similitudes entre sí. Me ha gustado muchisisismo pero quería una reflexión de las autoras al final, pero bueno, la verdad es que me alegro de haber podido leer esta reliquia. Espero que la próxima persona que lo coja de la biblioteca lo disfruté tanto como lo he hecho yo.
Profile Image for Sandy.
387 reviews12 followers
June 16, 2009
These are the stories, told in their own words, of 50 lesbian nuns. Most have left the convents but there are several in the 50 who were still active nuns at the time. The book was published in 1985 and definitely is dated but still a unique look at religious life and lesbians at a particular time and place. The prevalence of "particular friendships" (who knew there was a euphemism?) and how the sisters/postulants/novices dealt with their spirituality/sexuality conflicts was interesting. It would be interesting to have a follow-up "where are they now" volume for those still living. I debated between 3 and 4 stars for this and decided on 3 because it does seem a bit dated.

As a humorous aside, I was watching a 3rd season L-Word the other day and this book was featured in the opening flashback snippet about nuns in the 80s.
Profile Image for Jess.
998 reviews68 followers
September 16, 2017
This was an interesting and enlightening read with great personal stories, lots of background information for those who aren't familiar with Catholicism, and decent additions for this more current Spinsters Ink edition. It's just incredibly dated at this point--in language, it attitude, and in scope. I wish we got to hear from the women now and we where they're at. It reads as unfinished.

I can totally see how groundbreaking it was at the time, though.
9 reviews2 followers
March 21, 2007
If you ever went to catholic school, got check this out.
Profile Image for Mat.
251 reviews45 followers
July 7, 2024
3.5**

“My lesbianism is more than my sexuality. It is my vocation!”

I loved reading this. It is incredibly eye opening to read about the process of self discovery for this generation, especially for those who chose such a religiously devout path early.

The parallels between lesbianism and being a nun were so interesting to read about, it was unsurprising why a lot of women were drawn to that life (honestly can see myself being drawn to the convent if I was born 50 years earlier lol).

Downsides: ….. it is obviously incredibly dated but that is to be expected.
It is also a bit tough to get through towards the end because it gets a bit repetitive once you’ve read a variation of the same story 30+ times.
Profile Image for Lizzy P.
30 reviews
February 11, 2025
Although this is about nuns, the universal themes of self discovery, gender, and sexuality make it relatable regardless of the religion aspect. I really liked this book and I think it can be a valuable read for all women whether they’re gay or straight or somewhere in between.
Profile Image for Sonia.
26 reviews
July 11, 2024
8/10 "mi lesbianismo es más que mi sexualidad. ¡es mi vocación!" ¡!! es que dilo
Profile Image for Cristina.
103 reviews3 followers
November 26, 2018
Many first hand accounts from current and former nuns. An interesting peek into the proto-lesbian-separatist institution that is the Christian convent.
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