Overall a good book on lykke. If only it did not include weird political references... it might have gotten 5 stars.
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I thought it might cheer me up to see the victory speech of the first female US president, so I turned on the news....
I was tired, and I was sad to hear that a lot of Americans would be facing four difficult years. In short, I was angry, tired, and sad. (с) For Christsake, how does the gender of the president fit into the happiness of the country. The electorate was 50/50, no matter who won, someone would have been disappointed and 'facing 4 difficult years'. Whining much? -2 stars for this
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These days, it is easier to notice the fighting rather than what is fine. (c)
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Her dad decided to change that and he took her on a treasure hunt around the city: to look for color, for beauty, and for the good in the world. (c)
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Books are wonderful idea-spreaders. (c)
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That is essentially my job as CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen: to measure, understand, and generate happiness. At the institute, we explore the causes and effects of human happiness and work toward improving the quality of life of people across the world. (c)
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The summer solstice may be a pagan ritual, but to this day it remains my favorite tradition. The Nordic sun sets into a night without darkness and the bonfires are lit throughout the country to celebrate midsummer. Remember: Danes are the direct descendants of Vikings, so we enjoy watching things burn: bonfires, candles, villages. It’s all good. (c)
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A couple who are sharing their fifty-two weeks of paid maternity and paternity leave are strolling along the waterfront. A group of students are swimming in the clean water in the harbor, carefree, because not only are there no university tuition fees, students also receive the equivalent of $790 (after tax) every month from the government. Everything runs smoothly in Denmark. Well, almost. Four years ago, one train did arrive five minutes late. The passengers each got a letter of apology from the prime minister and a designer chair of their choice as compensation. (с)
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Whether you look at the English word companion, the Spanish word compañero, or the French copain, they all originate from the Latin com and panis, meaning “with whom one shares bread.” (c)
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However, I believe the Danes are happy not despite the high taxes but because of the high taxes—and most Danes would agree. Almost nine out of ten people living in Denmark say they happily pay their taxes, according to a Gallup survey undertaken in 2014. It’s all about knowing that happiness does not come from owning a bigger car but from knowing that everybody you know and love will be supported in their time of need. What works well in the Nordic countries is an understanding of the link between the good life and the common good. We are not paying taxes; we are purchasing quality of life. We are investing in our community. (c)
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In Danish, the word for community is fællesskab. Fællesskab can be split up into fælles, meaning “common” or “shared,” and skab, which can mean either “cabinet” or “create.” Not only is community our common cabinet (our shared supplies), it is also something we create together. I think there is some beauty in that.
Like the Germans, we Danes love compound words. Maybe it is because of the cold climate, but Danish words like to spoon. Råstofproduktionsopgørelsesskemaudfyldningsvejledning is the word for a manual to fill out a questionnaire about the production of raw materials. It is also the reason why Scrabble in Denmark is considered an extreme sport and is the number-one cause of wrist injuries. There are seventy words in the official Danish dictionary by the Society for Danish Language and Literature that have the word fællesskab in them. (c)
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Bofællesskab:
A cohousing scheme
Fællesgrav:
A shared grave, e.g., where several people are buried together
Fællesskabsfølelse:
A sense of community
Fællesøkonomi:
A shared economy, e.g. when couples have a joint bank account
Skæbnefællesskab:
A shared destiny
Fællesskøn:
A shared gender. Whereas most languages divide nouns into masculine and feminine, Danish nouns are divided into no gender and common gender—they are the hermaphrodites of nouns, if you will. (c)
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BOFÆLLESSKAB—HAPPINESS OF THE COMMONS
...
The place is called Fælleshaven. Yes, it is another compound word. Fælles means “common” and haven means “garden.” It is a bofællesskab. Fællesskab means “community” and bo means “to live.” A bofællesskab is a cohousing scheme, which originated in Denmark but rapidly spread to the rest of Scandinavia and onward.(c)
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...Bodil Graae, who wrote an opinion piece called “Children Should Have One Hundred Parents” in one of the major papers in Denmark... (c)
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A couple of years ago, the Danish anthropologist Max Pedersen did a large study of seniorbofællesskaber, cohousing for the elderly, and found that “it is difficult to see the data and statements as other than a success for the bofællesskaber”: 98 percent reported feeling safe in their community, 95 percent were satisfied with their living situation—but I think the most interesting data was that 70 percent reported having at least four friends among their neighbors. (c)
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How many languages do you speak? (Three on average. After a bottle of wine: five; before my morning coffee: barely one.) (c)
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There is a bench in my courtyard right outside my kitchen window where I often sit and read. From the bench, you can see a tall chestnut tree and hear the wind in the leaves. The bench also functions as a semiprivate space—I can be by myself, but I am still close enough to the public space that people will say hello and ask about the book I’m reading. You won’t ever get to know your neighbors if you never see them. Spaces like this—front gardens and porches—are called soft edges, and studies show that streets with soft edges feel safer and people tend to stay in them longer. Just being out in front of your house gives a welcoming vibe that encourages interaction. Few people would dare come into your kitchen to say hello, but if you are in your front garden, people may get to know you and you them. Because of my outdoor reading spot, I’ve learned that, upstairs from me, live Peter and his daughter Katrine, and further up lives Majed, who has a fruit store (with delicious peaches), and the last time I met him he was going on his first bike ride in twenty years. Interestingly, noise from neighbors ceases to be annoying once you get to know their names and stories. (c)
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A couple of years ago, I called my bank to see if I could borrow some money to buy a place to live. When I said that I studied happiness for a living, the man on the other end of the line went awfully quiet. Long story short, I was in my mid-thirties, single, and spent the next couple of months on my friend’s couch with his two cats. You know, living the dream. But I didn’t despair: I knew people had my back. (c)
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One December around a decade ago, the British Medical Journal published an article called “Why Danes Are Smug: Comparative Study of Life Satisfaction in the European Union.” It concluded that the key factor in the high level of life satisfaction among the Danes was consistently low expectations for the year to come. “Year after year, they are pleasantly surprised to find that not everything is getting more rotten in the state of Denmark.” This conclusion has been repeated by the BBC and CNN, among others. There is only one tiny issue: the article was meant as a joke.
The December issue was a Christmas edition that also featured explanations for why Rudolph has a red nose (apparently, it is due to a high density of capillaries in his nose); and the article about the happy Danes also looked at the impact of a high share of blondes living in the country, the level of beer consumption (a reviewer suggested that Danes are happy because they are drunk when they participate in the surveys), and concluded that another reason was that beating Germany 2–0 in the Euro 92 Championship football final put Denmark in such a state of euphoria that the country has not been the same since. (c)
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Expectation makes the heart grow fonder. ...
Imagine you could have a kiss from anyone you want. Any celebrity. ...
Do you have someone in mind? If you do, then consider this: When would you want that kiss? Now? In three hours? In twenty-four? In three days? In one year? In ten years? ...
If you are like the respondents in a study undertaken by George Loewenstein, professor in economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon University and director of the Center for Behavioral Decision Research, you would want the kiss three days from now. Yes, someone actually researched this question. ...
The point is, in some circumstances, expectation can be a source of great joy. However, we must also be aware that, in others, expectation and ambition can be a source of misery. (c)
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In Denmark, and throughout the Nordic countries, conspicuous consumption is being somewhat curbed because of Janteloven, or the Law of Jante. The “law” comes from a 1933 novel by Danish Norwegian Aksel Sandemose and can be boiled down to “You’re no better than us.” It promotes a culture where people of high status are criticized because they have been classified as better—or pretend to be better—than their peers. In English, this is known as tall poppy syndrome.
...
Where success may be enthusiastically flaunted in the US, humbleness is the bigger virtue in Scandinavia. Buy a luxury car with a personal license plate saying “SUCCESS” (as I saw in Riga, Latvia), and you can expect to have your car keyed within a day or two. (с)
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the belief in the healing power of books is said to go as far back as ancient Egypt and Greece, where signs above libraries would let readers know that they were entering a healing place for the soul. More recently, psychologists at the New School for Social Research found that fiction books improve our ability to register and read others’ emotions and, according to an article in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, research also shows that literary fiction enhances our ability to reflect on our problems through reading about characters who are facing similar issues and problems. Basically, reading is free therapy. (c)
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CREATE A SMILE FILE
Ruby Receptionists has been named the number-one small company to work for in the US by Fortune magazine. When a new employee starts there, they are handed a “Smile File” and asked to write down every nice comment they receive from coworkers, clients, and their bosses. Why? Because people remember criticism far better than praise. It is an inexpensive approach we can apply in our personal lives to become more aware of the things that we do have, instead of focusing on what we don’t. Once a week, write down three to five things you are grateful for. Anything from “My family and friends are healthy” to “Coffee and the Rolling Stones,” but try also to elaborate on how they impact your life in a positive way. Studies show that translating our thoughts into concrete written language has advantages, compared to just thinking about it. It makes us more aware and increases the emotional impact. In recent years, “gratitude journals” have become more and more popular, but it is important not to treat these exercises as just another item on your to-do list. Also, studies show that it is better to do it occasionally—say, once a week—than every day, to keep it from becoming a routine. (c) This, I definitely want to do. It's immensely better than the annoying 'buddies' who are supposed to drag you aaround for a week, when you start working at some fucking companies!
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HOW MUCH MONEY DOES HAPPINESS BUY?
...
“We have thousands of siblings in the study—so we can remove the effect of the parents. The happier brother is going to make more money later in life.” (c)
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... great public spaces—like beautiful parks, bike paths, and walkable streets—function as social blenders; as equalizers in our cities and societies. We usually meet under the same conditions of social hierarchy. (c)
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Moreover, when I ask our barista for a cup of coffee, I then walk five floors up to the top of the building and back down again, and the coffee is ready. It doesn’t take any more time and, as I drink four cups a day, it means I climb the stairs of a hundred-story building every week. Similarly, every two hours in front of the computer “costs” twenty-five push-ups.
Do I get embarrassed when colleagues catch me doing this?
Totally.
Do I believe it is worth the embarrassment?
I do. (c)
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Shinrin-yoku literally translates to “forest bathing,” or taking in the atmosphere of the forest, and refers to soaking up the sights, smells, and sounds of a natural setting to promote physiological and psychological health. The term was first coined in 1982 but, today, millions of Japanese walk along forty-eight “forest therapy” trails, to get their dose of what I guess could be labeled “outdoorphins.” (c)
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Until the US addresses this issue, according to Oliver, the only message that should go out on Mother’s Day is: “Mothers—we owe everything to them. They gave birth to us, they nurtured us, and they made us who we are. And this Mother’s Day, we have just one thing to say to all the mothers out there: Get the fuck back to work.” (c)
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DO-NOT-DISTURB INITIATIVES
Try out initiatives like Tuesday-morning quiet time, which may improve your sense of freedom at work. (c) Another cool takeout to promote efficiency and satisfaction at workplace.
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ENCOURAGE PRAISE AMONG COWORKERS TO INCREASE TRUSTEmployee of the week is the one who has made their colleagues shine or told other people about their achievements. (c) This is likely too la-la land to be implementable anywhere with the possible exception of some companies in some countries.
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Lars AP is the son of an American father and a Danish mother and the founder of the Danish movement Fucking Flink. Flink is Danish for “kind,” “nice,” “friendly,” “good-natured.”
In 2010, he published the book Fucking Flink: Can the Happiest People in the World Also Become the Fucking Friendliest? (c)
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In fact, I think there should be a word for “the joy of complaining,” so let’s invent one: Beschwerdefreude. Obviously, it has to be in German, a language that has not only given us words like Weltschmerz (literal meaning, “world pain”; sadness caused by the state of the world) and Schadenfreude (joy experienced when others are suffering) but also has a word for a present you give as an apology (Drachenfutter—literally, “dragon fodder”) and the feeling you get when you are getting older and fear that opportunities are slipping away (Torschlusspanik), and Kopfkino (literally, “head cinema”; the act of playing out an entire scenario in your mind). (c)
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Let’s put a positive spin on the phrase “If you see something, say something.” If you see something that increases the happiness of you, your community, or the world as a whole, talk about it, write about it, film it, photograph it—and pass it on.
...
Most important, find out how you can have a positive impact on your world. On our world. We need more dreamers and doers. We need more creators of kindness, heroes of happiness, and champions of change.
...
The way the world is going, some might call this false hope—but there has never been anything false about hope.
And remember: there is no point in being a pessimist—that shit never works anyway. (c)