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Тайният език на малките деца
Да бъдеш добър родител е удовлетворяващо и самоутвърждаващо, но е и усилен труд, особено когато детето е между една и три години. Всеки ден носи смайваща промяна и залогът изглежда по-висок, отколкото в доброто старо време, когато нахранването или смяната на памперса бяха достатъчни да ощастливят детето. Сега проблемите са по-сложни. Правилно ли ходи? Достатъчно ли говори? Ще има ли приятели? Хората ще го харесват ли? Как ще приеме първия си ден в детската градина? И как да направя така, че всичко това да се случи… сега? Тази книга е посветена на всичко, което можете да направите, за да помогнете на детето да премине през този период. Написана духовито, с безграничен ентусиазъм и заразителна енергия за реални деца и поведението им във всекидневието, тя ще се превърне във ваш постоянен спътник през магическите, изпълнени с предизвикателства втора и трета година от живота на вашето дете.
372 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
170 people are currently reading
642 people want to read
About the author
Tracy Hogg
41 books42 followersTracy Hogg obtained her nursing degree in England, specializing in maternity and neonatal care. Her uncanny ability to understand and calm babies led to her nickname "The Baby Whisperer." In 1997, she founded Baby Technique, through which she consults with parents individually, organizes and teaches group classes, and provides nanny training and referrals. She is the mother of two daughters.
Tracy Hogg died of melanoma in November 2004.
Tracy Hogg died of melanoma in November 2004.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 159 reviews
January 8, 2025
Original review here, update down below.
When my son was four months old, a friend recommended Tracy's book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems for us to learn how to deal with the frustration of his difficult sleeping. Following her technique in that book saved me and my wife from going insane.
Now that my son is two, he's presenting a whole new set of challenges, particularly that we are not really sure how to properly discipline him so he learns good lessons. I decided this time I needed to dive in and read this book cover-to-cover, and I'm so glad I did. In a very short time I feel like I understand my son so much better, and as a result, I have far more patience with him and handle his outbursts more maturely. As a result, he is better behaved and doesn't need to be disciplined as often! Talk about a win.
A lot of the advice in this book boils down to recognizing who your child is, respecting his or her personality, setting good boundaries and limits, and teaching self-control. Sounds simple, right? Well, it is, but it's not always easy to know how to do these things properly, and sometimes the concepts run counter to what any individual parent may be naturally inclined to do.
UPDATE: It's been a few years since we've used this book and our kids have grown up a bit so I have more perspective now and I think there's a caveat to one of the primary pieces of advice Tracy gives. She is regularly saying "start as you mean to go on," which sounded great at the time, but I see now that you can absolutely drive yourself nuts trying to implement things for children before they are developmentally ready. So while I agree that you don't want to allow bad habits to begin, it's important to realize that sometimes what would be considered a bad habit for a 5-year-old is a developmentally normal and necessary behavior for a 2-year-old. We specifically struggled a lot with sleep training our child based on how we eventually wanted him to sleep rather than what he clearly needed at that age, and we suffered a lot of misery as a result.
I still think there's a lot of good advice in these books, but I'd also say that sometimes you just have to be willing to do things you might not want to do forever if that's what your child needs at the time.
When my son was four months old, a friend recommended Tracy's book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems for us to learn how to deal with the frustration of his difficult sleeping. Following her technique in that book saved me and my wife from going insane.
Now that my son is two, he's presenting a whole new set of challenges, particularly that we are not really sure how to properly discipline him so he learns good lessons. I decided this time I needed to dive in and read this book cover-to-cover, and I'm so glad I did. In a very short time I feel like I understand my son so much better, and as a result, I have far more patience with him and handle his outbursts more maturely. As a result, he is better behaved and doesn't need to be disciplined as often! Talk about a win.
A lot of the advice in this book boils down to recognizing who your child is, respecting his or her personality, setting good boundaries and limits, and teaching self-control. Sounds simple, right? Well, it is, but it's not always easy to know how to do these things properly, and sometimes the concepts run counter to what any individual parent may be naturally inclined to do.
UPDATE: It's been a few years since we've used this book and our kids have grown up a bit so I have more perspective now and I think there's a caveat to one of the primary pieces of advice Tracy gives. She is regularly saying "start as you mean to go on," which sounded great at the time, but I see now that you can absolutely drive yourself nuts trying to implement things for children before they are developmentally ready. So while I agree that you don't want to allow bad habits to begin, it's important to realize that sometimes what would be considered a bad habit for a 5-year-old is a developmentally normal and necessary behavior for a 2-year-old. We specifically struggled a lot with sleep training our child based on how we eventually wanted him to sleep rather than what he clearly needed at that age, and we suffered a lot of misery as a result.
I still think there's a lot of good advice in these books, but I'd also say that sometimes you just have to be willing to do things you might not want to do forever if that's what your child needs at the time.
February 16, 2021
Mah. Cosa posso dire su questo libro? Sicuramente è carino e qualche trucchetto utile l'ho trovato al suo interno. Però...sarà che avevo enormi aspettative, o che la mia bimba aveva ormai già 3 mesi quando l'ho iniziato (e quindi il periodo critico era già stato superato), o che forse sono stata fortunata e non ho avuto dall'inizio particolari problemi con lei, fatto sta che l'ho trovato un pochino banale e facilone su molti aspetti, ripetitivo su altri. Non sono particolarmente soddisfatta, forse anche e soprattutto per la traduzione non brillante.
Consiglio a chiunque voglia leggerlo, di farlo poco prima della nascita, sicuramente sarà più utile.
Consiglio a chiunque voglia leggerlo, di farlo poco prima della nascita, sicuramente sarà più utile.
October 6, 2007
I have not read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer but this book was great. Granted, since I read so much, I already knew most of these tactics even before my children were born but it is different actually putting them into practice sometimes.
Chapter Headings: Toddler Whispering, Loving the Toddler You Have, H.E.L.P. to the rescue, R&R (Routines and Rituals), Nappies No More, Toddler Talk, The Real World, Conscious Discipline, Time Busters and When Baby Makes Four.
However, before I go on about what I liked about this book, I must state the one thing that I HATED about this book. I'm not your luv or your ducky. I hate it when people call me hun or luv and it's even worse through a book when it's someone you've never even met. Every time she said luv or ducky I wanted to hurl the book across the room. When she does a reprint, I STRONGLY advise her to take those terms out. It's degrading and makes me feel like a stupid girl who knows nothing about the subject of child rearing. However, as annoying as that is, it doesn't have anything to do with the actual information in this book which is why it's still 5 stars.
I think the Loving the Toddler You Have chapter is THE most important. A lot of toddler troubles start because parents aren't accepting the type of child they have and are expecting them to be someone they are not. Tracy Hogg puts children into one of 5 categories, Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Grumpy and Spirited. Depending on which category your child falls into, will depend on how they react to certain situations. For example an Angel toddler will make new friends easily and will have little problem sharing toys and playing with others. A touchy or grumpy child however won't want to be looked at or touched, let alone sharing toys. However, there is NOTHING you can do to change your child.
All throughout the book, real-life stories are told along with how Tracy helped the family with their problem(s.) Also tips are woven throughout as well. I always find real-life stories much easier to identify with than hypothetical ones.
I STRONGLY recommend this book to ALL parents of toddlers, preferably once your child turns 8 months. Don't wait.
Chapter Headings: Toddler Whispering, Loving the Toddler You Have, H.E.L.P. to the rescue, R&R (Routines and Rituals), Nappies No More, Toddler Talk, The Real World, Conscious Discipline, Time Busters and When Baby Makes Four.
However, before I go on about what I liked about this book, I must state the one thing that I HATED about this book. I'm not your luv or your ducky. I hate it when people call me hun or luv and it's even worse through a book when it's someone you've never even met. Every time she said luv or ducky I wanted to hurl the book across the room. When she does a reprint, I STRONGLY advise her to take those terms out. It's degrading and makes me feel like a stupid girl who knows nothing about the subject of child rearing. However, as annoying as that is, it doesn't have anything to do with the actual information in this book which is why it's still 5 stars.
I think the Loving the Toddler You Have chapter is THE most important. A lot of toddler troubles start because parents aren't accepting the type of child they have and are expecting them to be someone they are not. Tracy Hogg puts children into one of 5 categories, Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Grumpy and Spirited. Depending on which category your child falls into, will depend on how they react to certain situations. For example an Angel toddler will make new friends easily and will have little problem sharing toys and playing with others. A touchy or grumpy child however won't want to be looked at or touched, let alone sharing toys. However, there is NOTHING you can do to change your child.
All throughout the book, real-life stories are told along with how Tracy helped the family with their problem(s.) Also tips are woven throughout as well. I always find real-life stories much easier to identify with than hypothetical ones.
I STRONGLY recommend this book to ALL parents of toddlers, preferably once your child turns 8 months. Don't wait.
December 17, 2010
This book is making me very uncomfortable. For a start, the subtitle is 'how to control' your toddler. Really wary of books that purport to teach 'control' of children. The word 'Guide', for example, might have had more positive overtones. There's also a strange presumption that all babies/families follow the same routines/have the same lifestyles. There's absolutely no suggestion in here that some families co-sleep, for example, not because they have failed to get their child into a cot, but because they have made a considered, thought-through decision.
I also loathe how the author recounts all these 'anecdotes', which she presents as observations but which are actually loaded with subtle subtexts about good and bad parenting (according to Hogg).
Some of the ideas in here are interesting - good advice on loving the child you have; and I love the idea that you can sort children into five Types, but I think her practical advice doesn't actually allow for much variation from the HoggBot school of parenting.
Altogether: too prescriptive, patronising and smug for me.
I also loathe how the author recounts all these 'anecdotes', which she presents as observations but which are actually loaded with subtle subtexts about good and bad parenting (according to Hogg).
Some of the ideas in here are interesting - good advice on loving the child you have; and I love the idea that you can sort children into five Types, but I think her practical advice doesn't actually allow for much variation from the HoggBot school of parenting.
Altogether: too prescriptive, patronising and smug for me.
August 31, 2009
I think this lady has good ideas, but because I don't feel like I match up with her ideal parent (which really does sound amazing) I find them slightly overwhelming. The first day I read this book in large doses I did not feel good about myself. I've decided I've read enough of this book and it's time to return it. I am trying to apply the ideas that I came across that seemed useful. But I just couldn't handle an intensive reading of this book because it didn't really help me.
January 28, 2020
Clearly, the degree to which one likes a parenting book will correspond with how well it reflects one's own parenting philosophy. I find myself largely in agreement with Tracy Hogg, and therefore her practical suggestions mostly strike me as helpful.
Her focus on children being enculturated into family life (rather than families manically revolving around the needs of their youngest members) soothes my tendency to over-concern. Although her obsession with acronyms can become a bit excessive, the H.E.L.P. one really is helpful, as it reminds parents to balance between allowing toddler independence and intervening when needed. Overall, I appreciate Hogg's insistence that parents really do have hard responsibilities to oversee their children and provide them with routine and ritual, and yet that this preparation and forethought can actually make life with a toddler less stressful than it would otherwise be.
Her focus on children being enculturated into family life (rather than families manically revolving around the needs of their youngest members) soothes my tendency to over-concern. Although her obsession with acronyms can become a bit excessive, the H.E.L.P. one really is helpful, as it reminds parents to balance between allowing toddler independence and intervening when needed. Overall, I appreciate Hogg's insistence that parents really do have hard responsibilities to oversee their children and provide them with routine and ritual, and yet that this preparation and forethought can actually make life with a toddler less stressful than it would otherwise be.
August 6, 2019
Dropped it for two years as we had difficulty growing our family, and finished now that another is finally on the way. Had stopped at the last section, about preparing toddler for the new addition. Pretty helpful insights and suggestions for managing behaviours and helping understand why they happen. Wouldn't rave and say it's a must read, but I'm glad I read it.
March 24, 2022
Донякъде хубава книга, даваща много отговори на родителите, но не ми хареса непрестанното препращане към други глави, в които да си отговоря на въпроси, повдигнати в текущо четената глава. Определено ми даде доста ценни насоки, но не ми остави уау усещане. :)
March 6, 2008
I finally finished this book! Not that it's a hard read, it's just not a priority with a kid and nap opportunities (or, let's be honest, American Idol on). It was good though. I definitely am happy to have any tips on making my life run more smoothly since this is the first time I've had a kid and I'm sure the next one will be different anyway. I think it's always beneficial to read varying tips and insights.
February 23, 2010
Love it. Christian is a spirited baby. I love her positive ideas about discipline (teaching). Just reading this makes me calm down and be a better mom.
November 15, 2020
This book is a very interesting read for parents of children aged one to three years. This is not a manual with rules, but a book with tips and many examples that could help some parents. I admit that I was reading the book for a long time and it amazed me, because I usually read a novel with the same volume relatively quickly. But talking to a close friend of mine, who is also a mother, and recommended the book to me, I realized for myself that the information inside is too much and takes time to think and understand.
The book presents us with many different situations in which we can find ourselves as parents. I liked that there were shared examples of other families. The information is systematized in different chapters and so you can quickly find exactly what excites you the most. In the beginning, you can do a test to find out what temperament your child has, and it may be a combination of more than one. It turned out that my little one was an energetic child, which did not surprise me at all. I also liked the fact that each temperament is well described and we see how each type reacts in different cases.
In addition to the typical dramas of eating, sleeping and playing, there are plenty of tips for dealing with daily activities. And, again, this is not a manual. Everyone can get what he or she needs. I certainly saw myself in one or two scenarios. There are also tips that I will try in terms of some difficulties in my daily life with the little gentleman.
Last but not least, although in the last chapter, a topic for the second child opens up. Do we want and why do we want one. How to help the firstborn accept the change. How to survive as husbands and parents. The information was interesting and useful to me personally. Of course, not everyone would like such a reading, but I recommend it so that you can look at each situation from a different point of view. We can also borrow ideas that we didn't think of.
The book presents us with many different situations in which we can find ourselves as parents. I liked that there were shared examples of other families. The information is systematized in different chapters and so you can quickly find exactly what excites you the most. In the beginning, you can do a test to find out what temperament your child has, and it may be a combination of more than one. It turned out that my little one was an energetic child, which did not surprise me at all. I also liked the fact that each temperament is well described and we see how each type reacts in different cases.
In addition to the typical dramas of eating, sleeping and playing, there are plenty of tips for dealing with daily activities. And, again, this is not a manual. Everyone can get what he or she needs. I certainly saw myself in one or two scenarios. There are also tips that I will try in terms of some difficulties in my daily life with the little gentleman.
Last but not least, although in the last chapter, a topic for the second child opens up. Do we want and why do we want one. How to help the firstborn accept the change. How to survive as husbands and parents. The information was interesting and useful to me personally. Of course, not everyone would like such a reading, but I recommend it so that you can look at each situation from a different point of view. We can also borrow ideas that we didn't think of.
January 9, 2024
Provided me with great language for the toddler years. The examples provided are relatable.
Tools:
H.E.L.P. (Hold back, Explain, Limit, Praise) reminds you of the four elements that foster growth and independence and, at the same time, keep your toddler safe.
With T.L.C. ( Talk, Listen, Clarify), you’re better able to figure out what your little one is thinking.
R & R ( Routines and Rituals) gives structure and predictability to your little one’s daily life and a sense of continuity to his or her early year
ABC Technique
Antecedent
What came first? What were you and doing at the time? What else going on around her?
Behavior
What is baby’s part in this – crying? Does she look/sound angry? Scared? Hungry? Is what she’s doing something she usually does?
Consequences
What kind of pattern has been established? The key is to introduce a new behavior to allow the old one to fade out. This takes 3 days of consistency. Solve one problem at a time, slowly and in small steps.
Tools:
H.E.L.P. (Hold back, Explain, Limit, Praise) reminds you of the four elements that foster growth and independence and, at the same time, keep your toddler safe.
With T.L.C. ( Talk, Listen, Clarify), you’re better able to figure out what your little one is thinking.
R & R ( Routines and Rituals) gives structure and predictability to your little one’s daily life and a sense of continuity to his or her early year
ABC Technique
Antecedent
What came first? What were you and doing at the time? What else going on around her?
Behavior
What is baby’s part in this – crying? Does she look/sound angry? Scared? Hungry? Is what she’s doing something she usually does?
Consequences
What kind of pattern has been established? The key is to introduce a new behavior to allow the old one to fade out. This takes 3 days of consistency. Solve one problem at a time, slowly and in small steps.
January 20, 2024
Lots of hate for this and any parenting book on GR. But as a guy who knows nothing about raising kids and is eager (desperate?) to learn more, I find these books to be insightful, and I generally try to take the best and leave the rest for any advice giving book. And no exception here. But I love the practical and thoughtful ideas for establishing routines and dealing with some common issues we’re having. It’s nice to get a framework to help learn how to maturely set and keep boundaries with our little ones. This one made me want to share with my wife and then brainstorm how to apply it for our day to day.
June 16, 2021
I liked this book much more than the first. It contains more useful informations. You can avoid with it to be the servant of your hysteric child. You can learn how can you help that the children become calmer, politer and more kind-hearted even in their 2nd-3rd ages.
Sokkal jobban szerettem ezt a könyvet, mint az első részt. Több hasznos információt tartalmaz. Elkerülhető vele, hogy az ember a hisztis gyereke rabszolgájává váljon, és megtanulható, hogy hogy lehetnek a gyerekek nyugodtabbak, udvariasabbak és jószívűbbek akár már 2-3 éves korban.
Sokkal jobban szerettem ezt a könyvet, mint az első részt. Több hasznos információt tartalmaz. Elkerülhető vele, hogy az ember a hisztis gyereke rabszolgájává váljon, és megtanulható, hogy hogy lehetnek a gyerekek nyugodtabbak, udvariasabbak és jószívűbbek akár már 2-3 éves korban.
March 18, 2017
This book was recommended to me. I don't particularly like 'baby advice books' but there was some good tips in here and I particularly like the way that the baby's were categorised as I certainly know one of each type and it's true all babies are different. However a lot of the advice is outdated in relation to weaning etc !
March 11, 2020
The advice is in several categories:
1) Too high level - "Don't let you child rule your life"
2) Perfect level and good - "Hold back, Explain, Limit, Praise" - a good way to evaluate your own role in your child daily life.
3) Too low level bragging - "I help this mother in this way"
I would recommend Harvey Karp or Polly Moore instead
1) Too high level - "Don't let you child rule your life"
2) Perfect level and good - "Hold back, Explain, Limit, Praise" - a good way to evaluate your own role in your child daily life.
3) Too low level bragging - "I help this mother in this way"
I would recommend Harvey Karp or Polly Moore instead
March 1, 2023
As with the last book, I take all the advice with a pinch of salt. My boy has eczema, so there are some methods that aren't practical for us. Then again, Tracy always emphasizes flexibility in routines. For the most part though, this book is really useful in helping especially first time parents get a clue on tactics and methods to use and how to speak to your child.
May 23, 2020
Questo libro è stata la mia bibbia. Letto e riletto mi ha aiutato tantissimo a capire “tutto”, a non avere paura, a entrare in sintonia da subito con un esserci o che dorme-piange-fa-pupù è ha stabilire delle regole per tutti noi.
July 30, 2020
Non male come libro. Personalmente ho tratto molti spunti interessanti. In alcuni passaggi condivido di più metodi basati sulla disciplina dolce ma nel complesso ho trovato utili molti suggerimenti anche in questo libro.
October 27, 2020
So I finished this book awhile ago and forgot to mark it as complete. Oops! It was definitely helpful at times but again I feel like I read this book a little late. Definitely if there are moms out there that have the time before baby turns into a toddler read this book. It's great.
March 2, 2021
Finalmente lo terminé.
En realidad es buena guía aunque no concuerdo con varias cosas. La verdad sirve mucho para entender las reacciones de una pequeñín y recordar que tu eres su guía y si ejemplo.
Mucha paciencia y amor. No hay más.
En realidad es buena guía aunque no concuerdo con varias cosas. La verdad sirve mucho para entender las reacciones de una pequeñín y recordar que tu eres su guía y si ejemplo.
Mucha paciencia y amor. No hay más.
October 18, 2024
Invaluable book for new parents who want to avoid common pitfalls of parenting. It comes with helpful case studies and exercises. If only I finished reading it a year ago I would have made my life so much easier
October 20, 2025
Every toddler parent should read this! It’s intensely practical and just plain common sense. She also includes helpful real life examples and easy-to-remember advice for daily life. I love her approach—cannot recommend her enough.
June 1, 2017
Good stuff! Same principles as Baby Wise (but with a British accent!)
November 16, 2017
I got as far as the temperament sorter (which groups toddlers into the ridiculous categories of angel, textbook, touchy, spirited, and grumpy) and abandoned the book.
March 18, 2018
this is exactly the kind of parenting book that makes moms everywhere hate parenting books. horrible.
December 24, 2018
I loved her Baby book but her advice here just didn’t quite feel as in tune as she is with babies.
March 13, 2019
Read half of it.
January 27, 2021
Не е лоша, особено, ако си американец.
June 5, 2021
I know I read this book, but looking back three years I don't remember anything in particular about it so I guess it wasn't all that impressive.
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