This Does Not Leave This House

by Julie Coons

How does a little girl survive an abusive mother, Catholic school, rape, and a near-death experience? Raised by an abusive, narcissistic mother (who once tried to trick her into having an abortion), Julie Coons was also raped in college by a stranger and later married an abusive man who threatened to kill her if she ever tried to leave. Suffering from physical and mental torment resulting in very low self-esteem, Julie often felt so completely alone during the many struggles of her life, she tried to take her own life. This book is her true story ... telling all the secrets she was never allowed to tell to encourage and motivate others to heal their own lives and break the cycle of abuse. Her story shows that there is hope and life after abuse. Now that the secrets are finally out, Julie has found freedom. So can you. This Does Not Leave This House is a raw, poignant, and secret-revealing memoir written to lead a movement to break the silence of abuse and finally end its vicious cycle. With strength and resiliency, Coons provides a voice for the silent abused, letting them know they’re not alone. Justice and hope can prevail. The abused can become victorious. Read the heartbreaking true story of her journey to triumph above overwhelming obstacles. "This is the autobiography of Julie Coons where she survives child mistreatment, parental slander, brutal rape, marital exploitation, life-threatening diseases and a lot more; all this time holding herself together for her daughter until she finally breaks the vicious cycle of abuse with the hope that she inspires others to do the same. So, in the end when she advises us to listen to our hearts and get out of anything abusive, it grills through our heads and we are left to praise her undying and fighting spirit". - Few Good Reads "I personally felt like the story was extremely conversational, like I was having a glass of wine with the author and swapping life stories. This lent more authenticity to the story and made it even more heartbreaking to hear. I truly commend Julie for the fact that while she's sharing her story, she's also bringing to light societal shortcomings for victims of abuse. While sharing her stories of growing up left-handed at a Catholic school ( according to a brief google search was considered inferior at best and 'servants of the Devil' at worst), she also took the chance to address the pain experienced by her classmates. Psychological abuse and emotional manipulation resonate with so many people and I definitely believe her story is one worth sharing." - Kaylie (Shihtzu's and book reviews).

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, True Crime, Biography, Abuse

188 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 9, 2018

About the author

Award-winning author Julie Coons lives in a small town in Oregon. This Does Not Leave This House was her debut memoir. Amy’s bookshelf
reviews awarded it the #1 position for top 10 books of 2018. Her second book, Why She Lied, is based on a true story and winner of the 2019 Readers’ Favorite International Book Award bronze medal. Her third book, Haunted: A Paranormal Awakening, is also a true story about Julie’s paranormal journey. Julie plans to stay in the paranormal genre for a while.
If you wish to connect, ask a question, or invite Julie to speak to your group or organization, contact her at: connect@juliecoons.com.
So much more coming in 2021! Julie also plans to make YouTube videos sharing more of her story. Subscribe to Julie's YouTube channel JULIE COONS and get to know her even better.
Website: juliecoons.com
YouTube: Julie Coons
Twitter: @JulieCoons1
Facebook: Julie Coons Author

Reviews

[Vishnu Chevli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall Verdict:- A silver lining of a dark journey

“This Does Not Leave This House” is the autobiography of Julie Coons where she survives child mistreatment, parental slander, brutal rape, marital exploitation, life-threatening diseases and a lot more; all this time holding herself for her daughter Stephanie until she finally breaks the vicious cycle of abuse with the hope that she inspires others to do the same.

For Julie Coons’ well inspiring autobiography, my overall rating would be 4/5.

Detailed Review Link - http://chevusread.blogspot.in/2018/05...

Author Interview Link - https://chevusread.blogspot.com/2019/...

[Vanessa Teixeira · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 stars. A very hard, important and impactful read. Everyone should read this book, Julie's testimony of abuse and rape, among other topics, is guaranteed to move you in some way.
Full review on my blog

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did the author have an editor?

The writing is not good, unless you’re in the 6th grade. The story jumps all over the place and It’s not even a compelling story - just victim-hood. The author likes to tell us what a great Mother she is but all the while giving her deeply disturbed Mother constant access to her daughter for her entire life. She tells the readers that she Does this because she wanted the fantasy of a family, (give her daughter the grandparents she never had), even if that means subjecting her daughter to abusive people. Really? It’s called block the phone number and move away. I do not recommend this book - nothing to learn here.

[Jen Hart · Rating 1 out of 5]

"Oh, by the way, get off my planet and take your skanky friends with you"- This is how most of the book is written. Extremely childish with no timeline of events. She painted everyday normal acts such as bringing her child and their belongings to day care and getting calls from bill collectors as acts of heroism and a place to claim victimization. There are very few books I haven't been able to make it through- this is one of them. I gave up at 100 pages or so.

[Charisse Peeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Read

Such an honest look at a young woman’s struggles that she didn’t define her. Breaking a dysfunctional cycle with a great attitude.

[Rhonda Parrish · Rating 2 out of 5]

Notes to author: Editors - not just nice, but a necessity. Tense - Pick one and stick to it. Continuity- Extremely important. This read like one disastrously long blog post just vomiting words and random memories. The book is proof that just because you have the material for a memoir, you don’t necessarily have the talent or skills. It was a real stretch to give this 2 stars.

[Kade Gulluscio · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was definitely a difficult book. It's always difficult to read about anyone's trauma, especially as a victim yourself.
This Does Not Leave This House is a memoir by Julie Coons about her personal trauma and struggles. Julie was a victim of child abuse, sexual abuse, illness and more.
She thankfully breaks the cycle of abuse with her own daughter, and they live a better life than Julie was able to live with her own parents.

I do think this book needed another round or two of editing. The writing is not great, and there were a lot of errors. Nonetheless, it was a heartbreaking story.

[Sherrie Crim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent book of a story of survival of abuse.

I give this book a 3 star rating because, in my opinion, it seems like the author wanted to have a certain number of pages and in order to achieve that goal she repeats so many stories and phrases over and over again. There was no good detailed account of the abuse in any chronological order. The story jumped from being a child to a college student to an adult to a mother back and forth throughout the entire book. She"disowned" her abusive mother time and time again, yet she kept going right back when she needed a babysitter for her daughter or money to buy cereal. You never know when the crazy mother is going to reenter the story. Somewhat hard to follow because of no chronology. However this book does make you realize that abuse comes in various forms. Also a good representation of the torture that children in Catholic schools went through.

[Ashton Nance · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of the things that bothered me most about this book is that the author often repeated the same thing, with almost the exact same wording, multiple times throughout the book. It often felt like the author was regurgitating the same information to feel empty space. While I was touched by what the author endured, I didn’t feel a strong emotional connection to the story as I have with other memoirs of abuse. Much of the book felt like fluff, and took away from what could have been a powerful story of enduring and escaping abuse.

[Katey · Rating 1 out of 5]

This rating is not based on the events that This woman had to go through throughout her life, but based on the writing. I think it jumped around to much. It would have benefited more to have more in depth story telling then all over the place motivation. I think it would have been better if the novel was broken down by incident (chapters) and at the end the lesson to the learned. More structure that way.

[Julie Coons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story about my life. I wrote it to inspire positive change in the world. I’m hoping to encourage others to want to end the cycle of abuse in their own families. I’m also hoping to help other victims heal through my story. This is a raw, poignant and secret revealing memoir written to start a movement to break the silence of abuse and end its vicious cycle.

[carol stiefel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful

This was a wonderful book with a powerful message.I would recommend this to anyone looking for a way out.So moving

[Theresa Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you for the free copy of this book from Goodreads Giveaway. I struggled to get through this book. There are many cliches and generalizations in the writing. My heart breaks for her suffering and I hope she finds peace.

[Frank Frisson · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is more to the title of Julie Coons’s memoir This Does Not Leave This House. Growing up, she used to hear those words a lot. I personally know the effect abusive words can have on a person’s mind and the damage that words can really do. Coons starts readers off with two really disparaging sentences being spoken to her. “Your father never wanted you” and “I wish you had died at birth”. Convinced by a legitimate spiritual medium, Coons went on to write a book in the hopes that she will be able to help others heal.

The author had been married to an abusive man. To make readers understand why she was in a relationship with such a man in the first place, she first gives readers a glimpse of her childhood. In Catholic School, she would learn what tragic outcomes bullying can lead to. In her own home, she would live with a mother who showed no signs of loving her. At the age of fifteen, she would have a kidney attack and an out-of-body experience. As a premed student at the University of Oregon, she would be raped and loose her dream of becoming a doctor. She would quit school and go on to have a good job in a bank. She would eventually marry and have a daughter by a man who would physically abuse her.

Two years old in the 1960s, the author was diagnosed with an illness that affected her kidneys. Though the author would eventually recover, she would always find herself battling with extremely painful kidney infections. The author goes on to give us a good example of her mother’s uncaring behavior towards her and we can clearly see – through various other examples too – that her mother was the type who made it a point to break down her daughter’s confidence every time she opened her mouth.

Luckily for the author, there were women in her family that gave her the love that her mother didn’t. “They showed me an example of what a good, loving parent looked like, and I always patterned myself after these fine women.” With her own daughter, she could follow the examples set by women which included two of her aunts and her grandmother. From this, I could easily see that the author’s mother did indeed dislike her and she would continue to say and do things just to hurt the author. Her mother would eventually be diagnosed with some form of depression. Further questions are brought up for the reader when the author shows that her mother actually hated her own parents.

The author’s father is an interesting figure to take a look at. I actually laughed thinking about him and its all thanks to the author and how she usually writes of a clothing store her father managed, never naming it. Because her mother liked to keep up a prosperous appearance by “dripping in diamonds”, her father worked hard to keep her mother doing just that. The author reveals that she suspected that her father was working for the Mafia. Thinking about this revelation, and exactly how the author would write about him, you know, I had to wonder myself. Like I said, interesting. “You are not hamburger, you are steak.” Something the author’s old man says that sticks with her throughout her adult years.

The good thing that came out of the author’s marriage to Steve – the husband that abused her and told her that if she ever left he would kill her – is Stephanie, the daughter they had together. It’s horrible to learn what Steve did to her, but I felt that there was still more the author could’ve done to drive home the impact and scale of the emotions she felt. At least one chapter should’ve been entirely dedicated to show the side of Steve that the author fell in love with and chose to marry. Often, what hurts abused victims the most is that their abusers are people they had a different opinion of. A good opinion that, when the abuser finally shows his true colors, the abused feels a deep sense of betrayal.

When you are young and you start getting abused and you don’t know how to handle it, you start blaming yourself for being too weak or stupid to defend yourself. As you grow older, you start to repeat things to yourself and in a way, you start to belittle yourself along with everyone else that doesn’t like you. Thus, the author offers the following solution: “Change the message in your head from negative to positive and a whole new world of opportunities will open up.” I will definitely try this from now on because I’ve always felt like I’m a guy living in an eggshell. A soft tap with a fork, and I break. I’m still learning to turn that eggshell exterior of mine into concrete and this book has helped me see a lot of faults of my own that I need to work on if I am to prevent people from getting in my head so easily.

The trouble with non-fiction memoirs such as these that I’ve always found is that when you, as a reader, are yourself dealing with such things as anxiety and depression, reading becomes a journey filled with gloomy thoughts. The author scatters various humorous scenes throughout to help battle the thoughts such readers might have. Her mother hitting on her boyfriend being a good example.

Julie Coons offers her story with a real person approach, thus a person looking for those well-educated type of narrative voices might want to look elsewhere. The pages are packed with emotion. Even those subtle ones where something clearly hurtful is said and you can see how used to those type of words the author has gotten. Truly, I would recommend this book not just to victims of abuse, but to those that are inclined to verbally or physically bully those that they are supposed to care about too.

[Liz Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of hope

The truth of this type of abuse comes from the survivors, not a textbook written by someone who has never experienced it. She stopped the cycle of abuse. She left the victim role behind instead of using it as an excuse to stay stuck and repeat the cycle. Although my story is different I have also survived this type of abuse. It brings hope to ones still trying to escape. It can be done.

[Alma · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author said she put herself “out there” in this tell-all book about her horrible childhood and equally horrible adulthood, but her rollercoaster emotions towards herself and others, her constant repetitions and rehashing of the same stories, and her lack of chronology as she jumped all over the place in the book quickly got tiresome. Read the rest of the review on my blog: https://shouldireaditornot.wordpress....

[Brooke Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh So so

I really enjoyed the first hand story about how the author lived through and survived abuse but then the complete plot twist with spirits and demons totally lost my interest. Kinda ruined the book for me. Also wasn't a fan of how the time line jumped around but i could put up with that.

[Christine Cazeneuve · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

I wanted to like this book but I have to agree with the other reviewers, the story just jumps all over. It's very confusing to follow and the author repeats stories several times. I do understand what she was trying to accomplish, but she lacked the professional advice to achieve it.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heart wrenching story! Page turner, as I was so intrigued to learn more about how you overcame your experiences. Reading this story has even gotten me to think about the possibility to write my story.

[Stacy Meireles · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I only read 60% of this book before I put it down for good. So I can’t speak to the last 40% of it.

Basically, this is a story about a person who picks constantly at a sore then complains that it won’t heal.

[Donna Smoot · Rating 2 out of 5]

Difficult book to read. The author’s story is important, but often hard to follow. This feels like each chapter was written separately then pieces together without thinking about any sort of timeline.

[Cheryl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not like it

Very poorly written, seemed to have every cliche abuse story captured. Feels Inauthentic. Happy you found love in your life.

[Michael Doughty · Rating 1 out of 5]

BAD

This was the most redundant, poorly written book I have ever read. The actual story was not bad; but the writing was all over the place.

[Hiren Samtani · Rating 4 out of 5]

A silver lining of a dark journey

A 1970’s album like cover, a colophon describing the author’s journey from torment to recovery.
I didn’t knew Julie Coons and I was sceptical of what was to come (The title had two “This”’ after all).

“This Does Not Leave This House” is the autobiography of Julie Coons where she survives child mistreatment, parental slander, brutal rape, marital exploitation, life threatening diseases and a lot more; all this time holding herself for her daughter Stephanie until she finally breaks the vicious cycle of abuse with the hope that she inspires others to do the same.

Be it the trauma of rape or be it the happy memories with her Grandma Eva, the author successfully depicts the same in a manner that captures your soul. It wrings your heart and hits you in the right spots as you journey with her through her social injustice, experience her shattered dreams and feel her renewed hope till she pulls through and succeeds.

“This Does..” is well written in first person narrative. Be it the lunatic mother, the abusive ex husband, the almost absentee brother and father, her dearest daughter Stephanie or the divine angel/saviour Grandma Eva, the author is successfully able to channel her emotions through our minds. She successfully narrates her life where she faces the worst and the best of humanity has to offer.

There were times when it became so gut wrenching that I had to put book down and stop reading.
There are some portions of the book which I felt were repetitive. Personally I would had loved some more of her life with her loving husband Jeff. So in the end when she advices us to listen to our hearts and get out of anything abusive, it grills through our heads and we are left to praise her undying and fighting spirit.

Julie Coons really needs to thank her healer Theresa for bringing out the writer in her. Her autobiography can serve as a guideline to people who complain that they have suffered much and a beacon of hope to the ones that actually do. Personally I am thankful that the book was shared with me and it was my privilege to read her, understand her and admire her through her book.

For Julie Coons’ well inspiring autobiography, my overall rating would be 4/5.

[Alicia Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you so much Julie Coons for writing your book. It has inspired me to try harder to "change my ways". You and your story are an inspiration to me. Life is certainly hard. Staying positive is challenging at times however in your book you emphasized "breaking the cycle" and I am determined to not act like my mother. My husband constantly let's me know when I am. Having a narcissistic parent is not fun. You have helped me realize that I can change- no matter how hard it may be.. I used to think how am I supposed to control my brain / actions. When you said "write down a list of all the things that were done to you when you were a child that you hated, then vowed to never repeat those behaviors" I took that to heart and I am going to do that. Thank you for the advice. I cannot believe how many similarities between your book and my life there are. It has been a blessing to read. For example of the thinks I read that I can relate to: I am 4'8 very short lol, my husband got sick at 21 years old Panic Disorder, stomach pains that doctors couldn't diagnosis (kept asking about alcohol even though he never drinks). My other favorite quote is " you can't change anything if you don't acknowledge it" and " you can't control how others behave but you can control how you react to it" Beautiful, heartfelt, and inspiring book. By the way my husband and I got married at Squire's Castle in Willoughby, Ohio for $20 in 2007. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this book.

[Raegan Graft · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was over this book 30% in

This was hard to get through. Not because of the content, but because of the way it is written. Nothing is in chronological order and it jumps back and fourth way too much. At one point she is discussing an incident that happened after her father passed away but in the same paragraph discusses her fathers reaction to this incident??? Still confused by this one.
The author definitively has a victim mentality and while she has been put in situations where she was a victim, it gets a little much to constantly hear her talk about being a victim and then claiming to be a hero in the same sentence. It would be empowering to hear it once but when you hear it multiple times in one story it begins to lose its effect.
There was potential for this author's story if they would have consulted an editor to assist them in writing in a more chronological way without repeating details over and over again.
I was over this book at 30% in but I do not give up easily and persisted through. What should have taken me 2 weeks to read 179 pages ultimately took me a month and a half.

[Ally Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Better than some of these type of books

BUT....
whilst the author obviously did not have the best childhood/ early adulthood, I have certainly read stories about people who have experienced a lot worse. Not that the above makes the book rubbish, nor am I trying to rubbish the authors feelings.
It's just that the book is in no way written in chronological order of her life and this makes it hard going as the timeline jumps around all over the place making the message the author wants to get across a lot more difficult to read.
I'm glad the author is proud of her achievements and respect her ideas and ideals, however, there are many books such as this one out there, written by people who have experienced and done the same thing, so maybe if "stopping the cycle " is her ultimate goal she would be far better placed to read of other's experiences and make contact in order to build a strong support base for her platform.
Having said all of that, this book is worth a read if you can get over the lack of linear event telling

[Pam Camel · Rating 2 out of 5]

The actual story wasn't bad and had the. Promise to be a compelling story.
The writing was all over the place, she was the victim in every single senerio, parents, husband, rape at school, cousin, her extended family, etc....
Talks about how her daughter saved her and she eventually write her mom off. Blames her dad for a lot. Sounds like he was a victim as well she never went into that part just that he did nothing to help her even as a adult, yet she co tines to allow her mother not only access to her kid but unsupervised.
Says she broke the cycle. I'm not sure she has yet. Allowing your child to be with a abusive person is not breaking the cycle. It appears as an adult her daughter separated her self from mom's family.
She expects to total loyalty to her and only her.
The story bounces all over the place. Sounds like she has had a rough life.

[Azura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Less than a year ago, I found this book on the shelf at Covenant House CA a shelter where I used to live at (And ultimately saved my life). Julie's book, This Does Not Leave This House, was donated and signed by Julie herself. Firstly, for someone to go to great lengths to donate their book for others to be inspired by, is humbling. From start to finish I couldn't put down this book. Her story of abuse and overcoming tragedies captivates you from the start. I read the entire thing and took down over 5 pages of quotes that resonated with me. Julie, keep your books and message coming and make sure that everyone who has a story to tell reads yours so they may have the inspiration to make their own tale known. I won't leave any spoilers due to the fact that her ending says it all.

[Allyson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is so poorly written it feels like I’m reading a high school essay. The author changes tenses so often that in the space of one paragraph you don’t know if she is talking of the past, present, or future. In addition, her whole attitude is that she is the victim. Pretty much everyone she encounters- including an entire town- goes out of their way to bully, harm, intimidate, and abuse her. We never know why the town, for instance, “hates” her. Or why a random woman started screaming at her in the middle of a store. Or why the nuns went out of their way to spank her.
She is always the victim, always in the right, and never develops past the mindset of a teenage girl retelling HER version of events.