What do you think?
Rate this book
I Hate Everyone
In spare, poignant, direct prose, I Hate Everyone paints a nuanced and honest portrait of the complex emotional lives of children.
"I hate everyone." In your worst mood, it's a phrase you might want to shout out loud, even if, deep down, you don't really mean it. Set at a birthday party, this disgruntled, first-person story portrays the confusing feelings that sometimes make it impossible to be nice, even-or especially-when everyone else is in a partying mode. A gorgeous, poetic contemplation, sure to elicit a reaction from readers. A worthy successor toAlexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
"I hate everyone." In your worst mood, it's a phrase you might want to shout out loud, even if, deep down, you don't really mean it. Set at a birthday party, this disgruntled, first-person story portrays the confusing feelings that sometimes make it impossible to be nice, even-or especially-when everyone else is in a partying mode. A gorgeous, poetic contemplation, sure to elicit a reaction from readers. A worthy successor toAlexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
32 pages, Hardcover
Published May 1, 2018
1 person is currently reading
177 people want to read
About the author
Naomi Danis
9 books11 followersI HATE EVERYONE (2018) illustrated by Cinta Arribas. Is narrated by a little girl who, at her birthday party, wants everyone to go away and leave her alone. I've been delighted by the number of enthusiastic people who've said more or less these words: "Hey, somebody wrote a book about me!"
WHILE GRANDPA NAPS (2019), illustrated by Junghwa Park, was inspired by a true story about my late husband when he was a little boy and his grandfather asked him to sit by his side and make sure no flies would bother him while he napped in a backyard hammock.
MY BEST FRIEND, SOMETIMES (2020) , also illustrated by Cinta Arribas, was described as "An emotionally honest take on the complexities of (childhood) friendship" in a Kirkus starred review.
BYE, CAR illustrated by Daniel Rieley comes out September 2021, Exciting though they are, many vehicles also have a damaging impact on the environment. This very young picture book asks if there is a better way to get around, a greener alternative.It takes a positive look into the future.
Long ago I earned a BA and MA in English at Stony Brook, and then an MSEd at Bank Street College. I was an early childhood teacher in Israel for a few years in the 1970s, and continue to visit often.
WHILE GRANDPA NAPS (2019), illustrated by Junghwa Park, was inspired by a true story about my late husband when he was a little boy and his grandfather asked him to sit by his side and make sure no flies would bother him while he napped in a backyard hammock.
MY BEST FRIEND, SOMETIMES (2020) , also illustrated by Cinta Arribas, was described as "An emotionally honest take on the complexities of (childhood) friendship" in a Kirkus starred review.
BYE, CAR illustrated by Daniel Rieley comes out September 2021, Exciting though they are, many vehicles also have a damaging impact on the environment. This very young picture book asks if there is a better way to get around, a greener alternative.It takes a positive look into the future.
Long ago I earned a BA and MA in English at Stony Brook, and then an MSEd at Bank Street College. I was an early childhood teacher in Israel for a few years in the 1970s, and continue to visit often.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews
June 24, 2018
Childhood is riddled with contradictions. Wait. No. Scrap that thought. Let’s rewrite it slightly. Childhood’s fine it’s the CHILDREN that are riddled with contradictions. In the same breath a child can scream that they hate you and yet want a hug so badly they shake with the need. New parents will often find themselves flummoxed with these contradictory instructions. You are to both leave the child alone and never leave them again. This starts to become noticeable in the kid around the age of three (never let them tell you it’s the “terrible twos” because the “threes” clearly cornered the market in awfulness) when your previously sunny bundle of delight starts exploding over the smallest imaginable grievances. On the one hand, you want to be the wise, all-knowing parent who calmly guides the child out of their screaming catfit. On the other hand, it’s hard to reason with illogic. Small children (and older ones as well, let’s admit it) have a hierarchy of needs that is entirely different from old Maslow’s. And maybe you want a picture book that acknowledges all of this. A picture book that isn’t afraid to name what it is that a child is thinking, feeling, needing, even if those three things are at complete odds with one another. I’ve never read a picture book like I Hate Everyone by Naomi Danis before and, I’ll level with you, it may not be for every parent out there. That said, it fills one of those great gaping gaps in the children’s picture book marketplace you didn’t even knew existed until you saw the book. Extra Bonus: It’s funny. Now how about that?
The little girl at her own birthday party is in, what could only kindly be described as, a mood. You know this mood. You have, perhaps, seen it firsthand. Everything irritates her, from the guests to the hats, to the singing and laughing and smiling. Repeatedly she assures her parents and everyone else that she hates them. As her litany of complaints increases she gives away some of the reasons why she might be so cranky. She’s tired. She’s hungry. But because she is so young she also gives away a lot of what she’s actually feeling. “Can you stay even if I hate you?” And finally, “Somehow even while I am busy hating you, at the same time, deep down, it’s hard to understand, and I hate to say it, but . . . I love you!” Hugs are bestowed and in a moment grand acquiescence she say, “Okay, go ahead. Sing.”
And I get it. I get why this book might be hard for some people. For parents that live on that other side of the looking glass mirror, picture books offer the balm of sanity where everything makes sense, parents guide children, children listen to parents, and life is well-ordered and logical. Picture books don’t offer just an escape for child listeners, but an escape for adult practitioners as well. The last thing that parent is going to want is a mirror of their own lives. And yet, the greatest humor comes from familiarity. If you’re a parent that just spent the last fifteen minutes explaining to your child why the animal cracker that is missing the tip of its tail is still edible in spite of this egregious error that could only occur in a cold universe in which there is no loving God, this book’s familiarity will comfort you by letting you know that you are not alone. And for kids, there’s that strange moment of both recognition and rejection. The girl in this book is like me, but I would NEVER be this bad. They can laugh at her foibles either in recognition or ignorance of their own, making the book ideal for both younger and older child readers.
However, I can’t go much further without addressing the elephant in the room. You know the one I mean. The H-word. It’s like the four-letter-word of the kingdom of children. Parents will go out of their way to teach kids right from the start that there is no situation in which this word is permissible. Do you happen to remember the Robie H. Harris book The Day Leon Said, I Hate You and how controversial that book was in some circles? Like the word “stupid”, many parents honestly feel that by even saying this word in the presence of their children, they are legitimizing it for their kids. If it’s in a book then it has to be an okay thing to say, right? And I sympathize with this predicament. There is no all-encompassing answer. Not all parents feel this way, but many do, and for the ones that cringe every time they read the title of this book, I honestly have to say that it may not be for you. Now you can do the usual protective parental route of renaming it every time you read it to your kids. I’m reminded of parents that change Maurice Sendak’s book Pierre and the titular character’s catchphrase to “I care” throughout the text, or the well-meaning individuals that paint White-Out underpants on Mickey in In the Night Kitchen. You are the parent. What you want to do with your own kid is your business. But, likewise, not every parent is going to find the word “Hate” objectionable and for some of them that already have kids screaming it every other sentence, this book could actually do quite a lot of good. For others, it’s just going to be another funny book for their shelves. Total parent call here.
But why even use the word “hate” at all? Because that is one of the few words a child can use to exercise what little power they have. They are these tiny beings being told what to do every moment of the day. Initially, they discover that their power can come through refusing to eat. You can fight being dressed or changed, but grown-ups are stronger than you are. Eating, however, isn’t something someone can make you do. Then, later, they acquire language and with it a new kind of power. Now they are capable of making their parents feel one way or another through words alone. Can you imagine what that kind of a discovery must feel like to a child for the first time? And really “hate” is the uzi in their arsenal. Even “stupid” can’t hold a candle to it. Danis could have used another word in this book, but she went for the granddaddy of all little kid bad words. The toddler equivalent of swearing. The book simply doesn’t work without it, you have to admit.
I can’t imagine how hard this text must have been to write (let alone to edit). Because in many ways Danis has to tap into some essential core of child brattiness and a kind of need that you sympathize with (even if you have to dig a little deep to find that sympathy). Consider this great pair of lines: “I hate when the balloons pop. And I hate when you say stop popping the balloons.” The whole front of the book proceeds in that way. Contradictions that, on the surface, make no sense to adults and that, to kids, will strike some of them as kind of hilarious. Then Danis has to transition the story into something more than just a series of observations. The little girl’s fury, is so well put in sentences like, “You say I am perfect, I am just right. But I am not. I don’t feel just right. I feel like a fight.” Then, when people begin to do what she asks, she breaks down. “I hate you but I want you to love me.” This makes the final pages where she repeats over and over that she really does love “you” all the more poignant. It was probably hard to resist the urge to end the book on a joke after that. Some authors would have included a capper where something bad happens and the little girl goes right back to hating on everyone around her, but instead Danis lands the book with a nice, sweet moment that is come by honestly.
Recently a friend of mine wrote an opinion piece about why it is that we, as parents, always search for the “moral” in every picture book we read. Many of us find it incomprehensible that a picture book could even exist without some kind of instructional use. Viewed in that light, this book is bound to disappoint. The parents in this book are never seen taking the little girl to task over her actions. To be honest, they’re not really in the book much at all. And while she does correct her own behavior by the story’s end, she’s never punished in any way. Some would insist that the parents take the reigns here and model good behavior for . . . other parents I guess? Honestly, I think there’s a great deal of benefit to seeing a kid work through her own frustrations. Maybe her methods are poor (that whole drawing on the wall thing would certainly turn me into a screaming banshee if my kids tried to get away with it) but you can’t argue with that end result.
Man, I don’t envy the editor of this book. Imagine trying to think up the perfect artist to accompany this text. Realism could have been the way to go. Ditto complete cartoonish buffoonery. The selection of Cinta Arribas straddles that line a little bit in-between. Arribas hails from Madrid and in this book she makes the choice of limiting her color palette to an interesting mix of purple, red, pink, and blue. She also, thank the stars, has a sense of humor. My favorite two-page spread is undoubtedly the moment when the text reads, “Don’t look at me. No! Look at me!” In one image she is sitting with what appears to be a bowl of Cheetos on her lap. In the next the bowl is on her head, Cheetos scattered to the winds around her. Also, I don’t know the degree to which Arribas is aware of how controversial the word “hate” is in picture books, but I suspect she may have an inkling, when you look at that moment when the girl says, “You say hate is not a nice word. I don’t feel nice.” She is, at that very moment, using the alphabet blocks to spell the word “HATE”. That’s just cheeky. Maybe it’s why Arribas was chosen for the project. She’s able to straddle that line between bratty and funny/sympathetic.
Interesting too to look at how she draws the people at the party. It is significant that at no point does any parent look cheesed off at the titular girl. That is not to say that her behavior goes unnoticed. When she wrests her stuffed bunny from the arms of an enamored baby, the infant is distinctly distressed (I should quickly add that she gives it back later in the book). But the parents, whose faces are only glimpsed in passing, are bestowed with this kind of beatific serenity in their actions that many of us would envy. Then there’s how Arribas sets the tone of the book, before you open it up. The choice of typeface and font, meant to look like handwriting, give it a more natural feeling than something that looked like it was spit out of a typewriter ever could.
Like I say, not for everyone, but isn’t that the case for a lot of great picture books out there? There are parents that worry about Where the Wild Things Are and get squeamish at Mr. Mallard’s deadbeat dad-i-tude in Make Way for Ducklings. Fortunately, the very title of this book chooses its own audience. Any parent with a knee-jerk reaction to the word “hate” is going to immediately avoid the book when they see it. And any parent curious to see how an author and illustrator can verbalize what, in many children, can only be expressed through frustrated fire and fury, will find in “I Hate Everyone” a balm and a friend they never knew they could have. Funny, quirky, brave, and strange, this little book takes its two tiny hands and furiously beats out a space for itself on your children’s bookshelves. Selective and snappy. What a pair.
For ages 5 and up
The little girl at her own birthday party is in, what could only kindly be described as, a mood. You know this mood. You have, perhaps, seen it firsthand. Everything irritates her, from the guests to the hats, to the singing and laughing and smiling. Repeatedly she assures her parents and everyone else that she hates them. As her litany of complaints increases she gives away some of the reasons why she might be so cranky. She’s tired. She’s hungry. But because she is so young she also gives away a lot of what she’s actually feeling. “Can you stay even if I hate you?” And finally, “Somehow even while I am busy hating you, at the same time, deep down, it’s hard to understand, and I hate to say it, but . . . I love you!” Hugs are bestowed and in a moment grand acquiescence she say, “Okay, go ahead. Sing.”
And I get it. I get why this book might be hard for some people. For parents that live on that other side of the looking glass mirror, picture books offer the balm of sanity where everything makes sense, parents guide children, children listen to parents, and life is well-ordered and logical. Picture books don’t offer just an escape for child listeners, but an escape for adult practitioners as well. The last thing that parent is going to want is a mirror of their own lives. And yet, the greatest humor comes from familiarity. If you’re a parent that just spent the last fifteen minutes explaining to your child why the animal cracker that is missing the tip of its tail is still edible in spite of this egregious error that could only occur in a cold universe in which there is no loving God, this book’s familiarity will comfort you by letting you know that you are not alone. And for kids, there’s that strange moment of both recognition and rejection. The girl in this book is like me, but I would NEVER be this bad. They can laugh at her foibles either in recognition or ignorance of their own, making the book ideal for both younger and older child readers.
However, I can’t go much further without addressing the elephant in the room. You know the one I mean. The H-word. It’s like the four-letter-word of the kingdom of children. Parents will go out of their way to teach kids right from the start that there is no situation in which this word is permissible. Do you happen to remember the Robie H. Harris book The Day Leon Said, I Hate You and how controversial that book was in some circles? Like the word “stupid”, many parents honestly feel that by even saying this word in the presence of their children, they are legitimizing it for their kids. If it’s in a book then it has to be an okay thing to say, right? And I sympathize with this predicament. There is no all-encompassing answer. Not all parents feel this way, but many do, and for the ones that cringe every time they read the title of this book, I honestly have to say that it may not be for you. Now you can do the usual protective parental route of renaming it every time you read it to your kids. I’m reminded of parents that change Maurice Sendak’s book Pierre and the titular character’s catchphrase to “I care” throughout the text, or the well-meaning individuals that paint White-Out underpants on Mickey in In the Night Kitchen. You are the parent. What you want to do with your own kid is your business. But, likewise, not every parent is going to find the word “Hate” objectionable and for some of them that already have kids screaming it every other sentence, this book could actually do quite a lot of good. For others, it’s just going to be another funny book for their shelves. Total parent call here.
But why even use the word “hate” at all? Because that is one of the few words a child can use to exercise what little power they have. They are these tiny beings being told what to do every moment of the day. Initially, they discover that their power can come through refusing to eat. You can fight being dressed or changed, but grown-ups are stronger than you are. Eating, however, isn’t something someone can make you do. Then, later, they acquire language and with it a new kind of power. Now they are capable of making their parents feel one way or another through words alone. Can you imagine what that kind of a discovery must feel like to a child for the first time? And really “hate” is the uzi in their arsenal. Even “stupid” can’t hold a candle to it. Danis could have used another word in this book, but she went for the granddaddy of all little kid bad words. The toddler equivalent of swearing. The book simply doesn’t work without it, you have to admit.
I can’t imagine how hard this text must have been to write (let alone to edit). Because in many ways Danis has to tap into some essential core of child brattiness and a kind of need that you sympathize with (even if you have to dig a little deep to find that sympathy). Consider this great pair of lines: “I hate when the balloons pop. And I hate when you say stop popping the balloons.” The whole front of the book proceeds in that way. Contradictions that, on the surface, make no sense to adults and that, to kids, will strike some of them as kind of hilarious. Then Danis has to transition the story into something more than just a series of observations. The little girl’s fury, is so well put in sentences like, “You say I am perfect, I am just right. But I am not. I don’t feel just right. I feel like a fight.” Then, when people begin to do what she asks, she breaks down. “I hate you but I want you to love me.” This makes the final pages where she repeats over and over that she really does love “you” all the more poignant. It was probably hard to resist the urge to end the book on a joke after that. Some authors would have included a capper where something bad happens and the little girl goes right back to hating on everyone around her, but instead Danis lands the book with a nice, sweet moment that is come by honestly.
Recently a friend of mine wrote an opinion piece about why it is that we, as parents, always search for the “moral” in every picture book we read. Many of us find it incomprehensible that a picture book could even exist without some kind of instructional use. Viewed in that light, this book is bound to disappoint. The parents in this book are never seen taking the little girl to task over her actions. To be honest, they’re not really in the book much at all. And while she does correct her own behavior by the story’s end, she’s never punished in any way. Some would insist that the parents take the reigns here and model good behavior for . . . other parents I guess? Honestly, I think there’s a great deal of benefit to seeing a kid work through her own frustrations. Maybe her methods are poor (that whole drawing on the wall thing would certainly turn me into a screaming banshee if my kids tried to get away with it) but you can’t argue with that end result.
Man, I don’t envy the editor of this book. Imagine trying to think up the perfect artist to accompany this text. Realism could have been the way to go. Ditto complete cartoonish buffoonery. The selection of Cinta Arribas straddles that line a little bit in-between. Arribas hails from Madrid and in this book she makes the choice of limiting her color palette to an interesting mix of purple, red, pink, and blue. She also, thank the stars, has a sense of humor. My favorite two-page spread is undoubtedly the moment when the text reads, “Don’t look at me. No! Look at me!” In one image she is sitting with what appears to be a bowl of Cheetos on her lap. In the next the bowl is on her head, Cheetos scattered to the winds around her. Also, I don’t know the degree to which Arribas is aware of how controversial the word “hate” is in picture books, but I suspect she may have an inkling, when you look at that moment when the girl says, “You say hate is not a nice word. I don’t feel nice.” She is, at that very moment, using the alphabet blocks to spell the word “HATE”. That’s just cheeky. Maybe it’s why Arribas was chosen for the project. She’s able to straddle that line between bratty and funny/sympathetic.
Interesting too to look at how she draws the people at the party. It is significant that at no point does any parent look cheesed off at the titular girl. That is not to say that her behavior goes unnoticed. When she wrests her stuffed bunny from the arms of an enamored baby, the infant is distinctly distressed (I should quickly add that she gives it back later in the book). But the parents, whose faces are only glimpsed in passing, are bestowed with this kind of beatific serenity in their actions that many of us would envy. Then there’s how Arribas sets the tone of the book, before you open it up. The choice of typeface and font, meant to look like handwriting, give it a more natural feeling than something that looked like it was spit out of a typewriter ever could.
Like I say, not for everyone, but isn’t that the case for a lot of great picture books out there? There are parents that worry about Where the Wild Things Are and get squeamish at Mr. Mallard’s deadbeat dad-i-tude in Make Way for Ducklings. Fortunately, the very title of this book chooses its own audience. Any parent with a knee-jerk reaction to the word “hate” is going to immediately avoid the book when they see it. And any parent curious to see how an author and illustrator can verbalize what, in many children, can only be expressed through frustrated fire and fury, will find in “I Hate Everyone” a balm and a friend they never knew they could have. Funny, quirky, brave, and strange, this little book takes its two tiny hands and furiously beats out a space for itself on your children’s bookshelves. Selective and snappy. What a pair.
For ages 5 and up
April 18, 2019
A young girl, gripped by strong and conflicting emotions during the course of her birthday party, alternately declares that she hates everyone, and that she loves them. She doesn't want people to watch her, but gets angry when they look away. She tells them to go away, and then to stay. In short, she is a mass of contradictions...
I wasn't quite sure that I liked I Hate Everyone, especially at the beginning, as the text felt somewhat scattered, the subject matter (not to mention title) was a bit off-putting, and I found the artwork unappealing. In the end, though, I did appreciate the fact that author Naomi Davis attempted to explore the often visceral and conflicting emotions that grip us when we are very young, and which we, because of our youth, often lack the ability to control. I can imagine that many parents and educators will be unwilling to introduce this one to the young children in their charge, especially if they feel that the topic of "hating" has not yet arisen. That said, for the child who does express strong negative emotions, I think I Hate Everyone might be a helpful book, one that affirms that sometimes we can feel hateful, but still be capable of love. Although not destined to become a personal favorite, this is one that convinced me, through the reading of it, that it has a place in some libraries. Recommended to parents and caregivers looking specifically for stories addressing strong negative emotions like hate, and how to deal with them.
I wasn't quite sure that I liked I Hate Everyone, especially at the beginning, as the text felt somewhat scattered, the subject matter (not to mention title) was a bit off-putting, and I found the artwork unappealing. In the end, though, I did appreciate the fact that author Naomi Davis attempted to explore the often visceral and conflicting emotions that grip us when we are very young, and which we, because of our youth, often lack the ability to control. I can imagine that many parents and educators will be unwilling to introduce this one to the young children in their charge, especially if they feel that the topic of "hating" has not yet arisen. That said, for the child who does express strong negative emotions, I think I Hate Everyone might be a helpful book, one that affirms that sometimes we can feel hateful, but still be capable of love. Although not destined to become a personal favorite, this is one that convinced me, through the reading of it, that it has a place in some libraries. Recommended to parents and caregivers looking specifically for stories addressing strong negative emotions like hate, and how to deal with them.
January 5, 2019
I was drawn to this book because of the title, and the narrative was one that kids and adults alike will find familiar. The little girl of the story is grumpy & upset at everything and everyone, yet what she really wants is to be loved.
May 23, 2018
For adults and kids alike, if you ask me. It's not easy to let people into your emotions and even adults struggle with "I hate you" actually meaning "I need you". The art was as on point and perfect as the message.
May 2, 2018
This is a lovely, relatable and heartwarming book to read with little kids who have big emotions (all of them)!
July 1, 2018
This might be my new birthday book. Because this little girl is me. On my birthday. We are both terrible people who are bound by our unreasonable/possibly reasonable emotions about our birthdays.
March 12, 2020
Great. Feeling this one very deeply today.
April 29, 2023
Awwwww, I hate everyone, too, bby.
June 25, 2018
Whee, it's full of rage, rudeness, and hilarious/maddening lack of logic! Friends, MEET THE HUMAN TODDLER!
Or preschooler.
This book is an amusing depiction of a tiny-big storm of fury and the sudden evaporation thereof. The color palette and hip oversized art are delicious.
Or preschooler.
This book is an amusing depiction of a tiny-big storm of fury and the sudden evaporation thereof. The color palette and hip oversized art are delicious.
October 16, 2018
The Buddha said: “Hatred will never cease by hatred. It will only cease by love. This is an eternal law.” This includes the tendency toward self-hatred — it will never cease by more hatred. Bringing hatred to a hate-filled situation will add hatred. Bringing love will bring love. Amidst the maelstrom of her emotions, depicted with revolting clarity, this little girl finds a space in the middle of these extremes, neither fruitlessly clinging to her delusion of separateness, nor punishing herself from a place of self-hatred. Smart girl.
February 14, 2019
lol this made me laugh because how many times have we, as adults, also felt this same way? raging and throwing a fit, but really deep inside wanting people to be kind and soft and lovely to us even as we try to push them away. as the kids say these days, this is BIG MOOD.
July 31, 2018
I love this book immensely. Because we all have days like this, even when we're not preschoolers.
October 9, 2018
Girl, I can relate.
January 14, 2019
Bummer. I was really excited when I saw this picture book because this is a title I totally relate to. But the story was basically about a kid having a temper tantrum the way kids do. So... that was a let down.
January 11, 2019
#relatable
Read
June 2, 2022Full of mixed-up feelings indeed. From the get-go, the reader is thrown into the maelstrom of BIG feelings. For parents dealing with this on the daily, it might be too much. On the other hand, it might help open up a conversation about feelings and ways to navigate through them. Some grownups could use the practice in recognizing their feelings as well.
September 10, 2018
Unabashedly authentic in its swirling storm of emotions.
February 9, 2019
Brings up a good discussion on changing feelings and the complexity in young children's lives.
Read
May 8, 2022Kinda loved this one. I think we frequently default to "don't say hate, it's not a kind word" when children say it, but it's so full of meaning and feeling and maybe it's important to give them the space to say they hate everything, even if they don't fully mean it.
July 4, 2018
What a fantastic book! This is one of the most accurate descriptions of an emotion I've read. I know this is for children, but I think I could pass this book out to people to understand my moods better. It's so much more productive for children to understand their feelings rather than telling them not to use words such as hate.
June 20, 2018
I hate everyone... well not really. It's her birthday... Hers. not yours. So she's cranky and hates all of this. Until she calms down and realizes.... she really loves everyone.
May 18, 2018
Some children really struggle with this.
June 6, 2018
Perfectly captures the complicated conflicting emotions we all have from time to time.
September 11, 2018
I love this book. This book is me and I am this book.
May 20, 2019
A simple story with a very big message. This could be a great jumping off point to talk about feelings with kids. So often we forget to tell them that it is okay to have bad days.
June 28, 2022
I love this book. I love it so much! Lots of parents and educators do not like it and will not use it. Hate is a powerful word, and it’s a challenging time to think about hate when white supremacist/misogynist hatred is on the rise. Many of us wish our children wouldn’t use the word hate and we try to get them to use more descriptive words to articulate their feelings. And yet, our children do use it, and we need to find ways of speaking with them about hate. This book follows a little girl who is having a meltdown at her birthday party. She models so well the experience of when our emotions overwhelm us and nothing feels right. Also, a book that features a little girl who feels profound rage and is not shamed or talked out of her feeling is profoundly feminist (with thanks to my therapist for this point). It makes me laugh when the little girl says: “I hate when the balloons pop! And I hate when you say stop popping the balloons!” Revealing how difficult it is to be a child where you are bossed around continuously, our heroine yells: “Don’t tell me to stay when I want to go! And don’t tell me to say goodbye when I want to stay and play!” this book always reminds me how little control my children have over the world that grownups built for them. And yet, when her parents try to leave her, she articulates the ambivalence around connection so often at the heart of big feelings. The little girl needs to push her parents away so that they can show they love her by staying close. My eyes always well up at the end of the book when she says “I hate you but I want you to love me.” Isn’t this profound human desire to push people away just when we need them most something that persists into adulthood? How many times have we all told the people we love most: “I told you to leave! … Where are you going?” To me, this book does the profound human work of unpacking what lies beneath the words “I hate you” and the yearning for connection they often reveal, as well as opening up the possibilities for talking to our children about the complexities of hate. Simply telling children “you can’t say I hate you” (which I still do all the time) to me isn’t as helpful as the nuanced conversations that are made possible using this book. (For another great description of hate and its complexities, l’d also recommend the chapter titled “Hate” of Lynda Barry’s graphic memoir 100! Hundred! Demons! (Barry’s book is for grownups only though). SO many women suppress so much of their anger under patriarchy that we don’t even know when we are angry anymore. I Hate Everyone helps to remedy this failing while also suggesting that desire for connection is an intimate part of rage.
Read
September 10, 2018An accurate depiction of the contradictions that are the growing kid brain. It reminds me of a little anecdote at the end of this NPR article about tantrums:
Somethings just don't make sense in developing kid brains, and one of those things is the frequent concurrence of anger with other emotions.
The illustrations are beautiful. Sort of a mix between the angular, highly graphic style and softer comic style that is very in vogue right now. Also the color palette is basically bisexual lighting. Love it.
"Katrina often demanded things that made no sense in the course of tantrums, Noemi Doudna said. She once said, "'I don't want my feet. Take my feet off. I don't want my feet. I don't want my feet!'"
When nothing calmed the child down, Noemi Doudna added, 'I once teased her — which turned out to be a big mistake — I once said, 'Well, OK, let's go get some scissors and take care of your feet.''
Her daughter's response, Noemi Doudna recalled, was a shriek: 'Nooooo!!'"
Somethings just don't make sense in developing kid brains, and one of those things is the frequent concurrence of anger with other emotions.
The illustrations are beautiful. Sort of a mix between the angular, highly graphic style and softer comic style that is very in vogue right now. Also the color palette is basically bisexual lighting. Love it.
April 4, 2019
I wanted to like this one, because who doesn't feel that way sometimes? But after all the hilarious texts about hating everyone, wanting to be looked at while also wanting to be left alone, and not wanting to share, the girl doesn't really learn anything. The little girl says that ultimately she loves everyone she hated at the beginning of the book. She doesn't learn that her words hurt, or that the way she says she "hates" people can make them feel small and not want to be her friend. Ultimately (I know this is a huge stretch, but I feel it still) this book seems to normalize kind of terrible relationships. To parents, I bet this book is a reassurance that when your kid says they hate you they don't really mean it. But to kids, I'm not sure it's a great idea to tell them that when someone says they hate them what they really mean is that they love them. That's just...not great people skills!
October 12, 2019
A young girl is having a birthday party but is having trouble regulating her emotions. She doesn't want people to look at her unless she's doing something that warrants the attention, like dumping a bowl of snacks on her head. She's hungry, she's tired which leads to whining.
This book is valid. When children are in the middle of a meltdown they don't know what they want and they cannot assess their own behavior. But this book will allow them to see what is happening while they are having these big feelings. It will also open up discussion about other words that could be used instead of "hate" when a child doesn't feel "nice." The text is very jarring (as stated by the SLJ review 7/18), especially if you're used to the general sweetness of children's books. But I think that's the whole point.
This book is valid. When children are in the middle of a meltdown they don't know what they want and they cannot assess their own behavior. But this book will allow them to see what is happening while they are having these big feelings. It will also open up discussion about other words that could be used instead of "hate" when a child doesn't feel "nice." The text is very jarring (as stated by the SLJ review 7/18), especially if you're used to the general sweetness of children's books. But I think that's the whole point.
October 14, 2018
This book reveals the complicated feelings of a young child at her birthday party. When I read these kinds of books I always try to make connections to my own life and the children I know. I live with a toddler and see this tension between the need for closeness and the desire to have things their way. Even though she can't explain what's going on, we try to reflect her feelings back to her. I wish I had had this book when I brought my second child home from the hospital. It makes my heart ache to see how this book captures his older brother's conflict.
Give this book to parents of young children.
Give this book to parents of young children.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews