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His Whole Life

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The captivating new novel by the #1 Canadian bestselling, Giller Prize-winning author of Late Nights on Air and Alone in the Classroom .Starting with something as simple as a boy who wants a dog, His Whole Life takes us into a richly intimate world where everything that matters to him is at family, nature, home.At the outset ten-year-old Jim and his Canadian mother and American father are on a journey from New York City to a lake in eastern Ontario during the last hot days of August. What unfolds is a completely enveloping story that spans a few pivotal years of his youth. Moving from city to country, summer to winter, wellbeing to illness, the novel charts the deepening bond between mother and son even as the family comes apart.Set in the mid-1990s, when Quebec is on the verge of leaving Canada, this captivating novel is an unconventional coming of age story as only Elizabeth Hay could tell it. It draws readers in with its warmth, wisdom, its vivid sense of place, its searching honesty, and nuanced portrait of the lives of one family and those closest to it. Hay explores the mystery of how members of a family can hurt each other so deeply, and remember those hurts in such detail, yet find openings that shock them with love and forgiveness. This is vintage Elizabeth Hay at the height of her powers.

320 pages, Paperback

First published April 14, 2015

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About the author

Elizabeth Hay

28 books313 followers
From Elizabeth Hay's web site:
"Elizabeth Hay was born in Owen Sound, Ontario, the daughter of a high school principal and a painter, and one of four children. When she was fifteen, a year in England opened up her world and set her on the path to becoming a writer. She attended the University of Toronto, then moved out west, and in 1974 went north to Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories. For the next ten years she worked as a CBC radio broadcaster in Yellowknife, Winnipeg, and Toronto, and eventually freelanced from Mexico. In 1986 she moved from Mexico to New York City, and in 1992, with her husband and two children, she returned to Canada, settling in Ottawa, where she has lived ever since.

In 2007 Elizabeth Hay's third novel, Late Nights on Air, won the Scotiabank Giller Prize. Her first novel was A Student of Weather (2000), a finalist for the Giller Prize, the Ottawa Book Award, and the Pearson Canada Reader's Choice Award at The Word on the Street, and winner of the CAA MOSAID Technologies Inc. Award for Fiction and the TORGI Award. Her second novel, Garbo Laughs (2003), won the Ottawa Book Award and was shortlisted for the Governor General's Award. Hay is also the author of Crossing the Snow Line (stories, 1989); The Only Snow in Havana (non-fiction, 1992), which was a co-winner of the Edna Staebler Award for Creative Non-fiction; Captivity Tales: Canadians in New York (non-fiction, 1993), and Small Change (stories, 1997), which was a finalist for the Governor General’s Award, the Trillium Book Award, and the Rogers Communications Writers’ Trust Fiction Prize. Hay received the Marian Engel Award for her body of work in 2002."

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 334 reviews
Profile Image for Debra .
3,275 reviews36.5k followers
April 2, 2021
Received from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

"What's the Worse thing you have ever done?"

This novel begins when ten year old Jim and his Canadian mother, Nan, and American father, George, are on a road trip from New York City to visit his Mother's family at a lake in eastern Ontario during the late summer in the 1990's. Jim asks his parents the above question, "What is the worst thing you have ever done?" Each in turn answer him, but he does not want to share his own answer. He is silent and what he has done worries him. Throughout the book that theme comes up with various characters tell the worst thing they have ever done.

After they return from their late summer trip, the family gets bad news and Jim and his Mother, Nan return to Ontario where her best friend Lulu makes an appearance and sticks around. Nan is unhappy in her Marriage and is estranged from her oldest son, and reconnecting with her friend and her old home seems to be just what she needs. Thus begins the novel. Jim is 17 when the book ends. He is a sweet and knowing child, sensitive and often appeared wise beyond his years.

His Whole life is about the characters. This not a "nail biter" of a book, you will not be "on the edge of your seat", it is not a "bodice ripper" or a "page turner". It is a tender character driven book with many themes. At times a coming of age novel and a love story. A love story, in the sense, as it is a story about love between a Mother and child, between a husband and wife, a brother and sister, a boy and many dogs, and love between friends. This book is also about loss.

The struggles in Jim's life, county vs. city, Mother vs. father, also reflect the struggle within Quebec at the time of the 1995 referendum of independence.

As I was reading this book, I could visualize everything. The writing was very descriptive and beautiful. There are so many passages in the book that I loved. Here is one of the first that I thought was touching "Jim was never sure when to stop patting him. Even when he tired of it, he didn't want to hurt the dog's feelings and so he kept on. When finally he stopped, Pog lay down, not having wanted to hurt the boy's feelings either." This book felt like a small independent movie to me. One made out of love.

A very enjoyable read. Not a fast read. A read to be read over some time. Slow and lazy like a warm Canadian Summer. That is not to mean it is a boring book. It is not. But this is not a book to be rushed. It is a book to be savored. The writer is so gifted. The phrases and sentences are quite beautiful. At times I wondered if this Author also wrote poetry. As I stated above, this is a character driven book. Jim and Lulu were my favorite characters in the book.

"They went down to the water's edge and stood watching and listening. The leaves fell like rain. It was the weight of the hoarfrost, melting in the sun, that made them break away. His whole life Jim would remember the sound and so would Nan"

See more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com
Profile Image for Elyse Walters.
4,010 reviews12k followers
November 16, 2015
Presenting a primary question....."What is the worse thing you have ever done?", as an early opening at the near start of this novel ...( a background setting that never vanishes from the readers mind), is brilliant.

While I never quite forgot that question - which was asked more than once - I soon noticed ..."oh, there sure are a lot of things the characters are not forgetting in 'their'
lives.
Jim, who is only 10 years old, remembers the day he and his family discover a bullet
hole in the back passenger door of their Chevette. He also remembers a painful event which he doesn't share with his family.
Jim's father, George, remembers punching another kid in the mouth and his lip bled when he was a kid.
Jim's mother, Nan, remembers when a school friend hurt her feelings deeply.
Lulu, a friend Nan reconnects with after 25 years, remembers that their parents loved her brother, Guy, more than her. She remembers that when her parents died, their land and house went to her brother - not her.

The author explains in the preface that this novel is set against the background of the 1995 referendum on Quebec Independence, which succeeded by the skin of their teeth. The image of the countries disunion and dividing themselves apart becomes a metaphor in the families ...yet also a dual sub-plot ( which was a great part of the book because frankly being American I really never thought about this period in history and how citizens of Canada were deeply affected). I felt it through Elizabeth Hay's storytelling to a point where I wanted to comfort my friends in Canada. If this were to happen today, I would be at their side as much as possible - cry and or cheer with them.
I get it... This marked a huge day - a day to remember!
More messages on 'remembering'...( reflect and remember)... I think this is the strongest theme in this novel! Reflect and remember is a strong message in my Jewish culture, too.

The other thing I loved about this book was the intimacy and vulnerability of the characters.
It was especially meaningful for me - as a mother - to observe Jim's thought process.
I had a lengthy conversation with my husband about this character. (One of the best-family- coming-of age books I've read in a long time).

When I was raising my daughters - day to day rush of life- I can 'now' look back and see 'where' their questions and things they shared where sometimes coming from a bigger context. But, as a busy mom - there were things I missed and simply didn't 'observe'.
For example...one day, Katy came home from her private school - 7th grade - she said,
"Leah's mother has called the principle several times trying to get Steven tossed out of our school .. because she is sick and tired of Steven pulling her bra strap every day, hiding her notebook so she can't turn in her work, and saying nasty things".
I heard my daughter .. and I'm not sure of everything I said that day... but I never for one minute thought Katy was trying to tell me there was no Leah involved. I didn't find out the 'truth' of that story until a couple years later when Katy was in Michigan attending a private High School - only to find out she was 67lbs in the hospital diagnosed anorexic.

There were so many beautiful things about this book...but my favorite was the gift of observing Jim observe life. I think every parent who has kids at home can learn from Jim. ( or let's be honest ....from Elizabeth Hays)

Many other themes.....regret, forgiveness,(how much to forgive & self protection), marriage, ( separation), friendship, ( boundaries), loss,
compassion, love

I really loved this book - as you probably can see!
I have one 'small' problem ..,( my husband and I argued over this). There was a small scene that I felt was inappropriate...( enough where I at least want to talk about it)..,
but my husband says I'm silly. He admitted to double standards .. and that's just the way life is!!
Note: I'm not saying Hays should have left out 'my problem' scene.... I just want to talk about it... (but obviously I can't in this public review)... but I'm open to talking later with readers who read the book.

Thank You, MacLehose Press, Netgalley, and Elizabeth Hays
Profile Image for Jill.
Author 2 books2,069 followers
August 11, 2015
Elizabeth Hay has long delighted and transported me with her work: the lost souls working together in a small Yellowknife radio station (Late Nights on Air), the two tempestuous sisters in the fairytale-like A Student of Weather, the interweaving of human relationships in Alone in the Classroom.

This is a writer who has never been afraid of cross-fertilizing her style, creating that perfect hybrid of an intimate mastery of words with a splendor of vision and always focusing on the power of place and the power of the human voice. Needless to say, I was delighted to become an early reader of her newest work.

The theme of the book is the schisms that divide us and sometimes bring us together. Jim is an American boy who is torn between his Canadian mother Nan’s love of eastern Ontario and his dour father George’s desire to remain in New York City. As a young boy, Jim is constantly torn between life’s dichotomies: nature vs. urban life, hurt vs. forgiveness, independence vs. duty, life vs. death. All of this plays out against the backdrop of Quebec’s squeaky close 1995 referendum on sovereignty vs. unity, as a divided country held its breath.

At times, the parallelisms between Jim’s life and the Quebec seemed a little too neatly telegraphed. Take this, for example, referring to Nan: “She wanted to feel more alive, that’s what she wanted. To live an independent and courageous life. And with that bracing thought something clicked in her brain and she understood Quebec. She understood a place torn between staying and leaving, and therefore always dissatisfied.”

In other places, the book shines as it teases the reader with the rhythm and flow of natural and connective life. The rivalry of two brothers, a mother and oldest son estrangement, blended families that struggle to define their individual places, a sister and brother who can’t quite bring themselves to reconciliation, a complicated husband-wife marriage that becomes even more complicated when a best friend shows up…all of these are ordinary events and yet form a tapestry of life as it moves forward.

For a great part of this novel, I was waiting for something to happen, a collision between characters that would result in something entirely life-transforming. It was only when I was into the beautifully-crafted last third of the book that I recalled the old adage: life happens within and without you. Indeed, as these characters navigate their competing loyalties, they recognize (to quote Four Quartets) that “the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” Jim’s life is not by any means complete, but in integral ways, he is whole.
Profile Image for Krista.
1,469 reviews861 followers
November 21, 2015
His Whole Life is an odd bit of Canadiana. As the story opens, Jim is ten-years-old and sitting in the back seat of his parents' old Chevette as they make their annual trek from NYC – where they live because of his American father George – to eastern Ontario – where his Canadian mother's family owns a secluded lakeside cabin. Attempting to slip in his most pressing question as just one more long drive conversation starter, Jim asks his parents, “What's the worst thing you've ever done?”, and this book then spends all of its remaining pages revealing the answer to that question for these three central characters. Along the way there are repeated themes of estranged siblings, broken friendships, prodigal sons, women who serve as end-of-life caretakers who then find themselves cut out of wills, men who are violent or resentful or sneaky-mean, dying dogs, and through it all, young Jim is the observer, the conciliator, the glue. In the end it would seem that author Elizabeth Hay's point is that for a people who stereotypically spend all of our time apologising, it would seem we Canadians have little capacity for actual forgiveness. Sorry, but I didn't love this book.

When Nan inherits her brother's property in the summer of 1995 – at the same time that she's feeling unhappy in her marriage – she decides to take Jim up to Canada for his entire summer vacation. Nan reconnects with her childhood friend Lulu, and with the second Quebec referendum on separation looming, the two women find themselves on opposite sides of the debate: Nan (the Canadian now living in America) is a passionate federalist who continuously trots out the retired-from-public-life Pierre Trudeau as the ultimate symbol of national unity and Lulu (born in the States, raised in Canada with a Québécois Grand-Mère, and recently living in Mexico ) is all for separation, holding up the now crippled Lucien Bouchard as the saint and martyr of Quebec's cause. Jim himself is a big fan of René Lévesque (dead by this time, but who Jim knows from his repeated readings of The Story of Canada), and it was so strange to me that these characters rarely brought up the two men who were actually on the opposing sides of the debate that summer: Prime Minister Jean Chrétien and Quebec Premier Jacques Parizeau. No matter, though, because the Quebec referendum seems to only be present in order to serve as a repeating knock-over-the-head metaphor about estranged families and failing marriages:

She wanted to feel more alive, that’s what she wanted. To live an independent and courageous life. And with that bracing thought something clicked in her brain and she understood Quebec. She understood a place torn between staying and leaving, and therefore always dissatisfied.

Canada beckoned to her, such a stable and reasonable country. Yet always on the verge of coming apart, because Quebec was so unhappy. As unhappy as I am in
 my marriage, she thought.

George hung on the edges, ill-defined, less important. He was “the rest of the family” the way English Canada was “the rest of Canada.” R.O.C. for short. That summer Quebec seemed serene in its power, secure, as if all packed up and ready to leave.

Even years after Quebec narrowly voted down the question of separation, Nan regarded George's post-surgical face and mused:

His mutilated face reminded her of a reconfigured map, a country carved up, her country without la belle province.

Um, your side won, so get over it? In the same way that Hay made all of these obvious political connections, she also would repeatedly come right out and name key character traits, as though not trusting herself to “show, not tell”:

Jim enjoyed watching people take sides. It increased the drama and he loved the drama. Yet it worried him too, since he wanted people to like each other and he wanted to be on the right side, the brave and exciting side.

That was a very obvious statement about Jim that I found annoying after watching him repeatedly demonstrate exactly those aspects of himself, as was the following when Jim returns to NYC and breathes deeply of its unique air:

It was like smelling an American dollar bill, thought Jim, and he loved it. These returns to New York at the end of August were a powerful part of his life.

Well, duh. These returns are shown many times, and besides, couldn't that be inferred? And sometimes, I didn't really know what Hay was getting at:

The son works forgiveness for the father. It felt like two rivers meeting inside her, one blue, one brown. The brown of “George, you hurt me,” and the blue of “I'm still breathing. I must have hurt you too.” If forgiveness could be considered a kind of movement in one's chest that made it easier to breathe.

His Whole Life ends the summer that Jim turns seventeen – set right after Pierre Trudeau's death and state funeral – and although there were many interesting vignettes along the way (I liked everything about the bizarre Isaac) and while, yes, Hay has a piercing eye for scene-setting, in the end, I don't know what this book was really about. I thought that Jim – with his group hugs and his knack for saying just the right thing – was too good to be true, and I grew weary of all the references to Homer and Shakespeare and Treasure Island (and if you're going to mention more than once that Jim was named after Robert Louis Stevenson's scamp of a narrator, why not explain the why of that?), and although I love me a book set in Canada, I didn't understand why Trudeau's life and death was the framing backdrop for what is otherwise a domestic drama. And don't even get me started on how annoying it was for Nan to rub the scar on her forehead every time she felt cornered, or the way she stroked the area over her heart whenever she was hurt.

I didn't get this book and I didn't really like it, but being more okay than downright bad, I won't dip below three stars on it.
Profile Image for Laima.
210 reviews
scheduled
September 1, 2015
I was just reading an article in our hometown newspaper about the author, Elizabeth Hay, and wanted to pick up her latest novel. Well, now I don't have to. Lucky me just won a free copy here on Goodreads!! Can't wait to read it!
Profile Image for Lori Bamber.
464 reviews16 followers
October 3, 2015
I have a new favourite novel of all time. If you were raised, as I was, during the Trudeau years - if you cried with joy, pride and vulnerability when the buses arrived in Quebec just before the referendum - if you have children you've watched with wonder and terrifying love - well, this book will feel like home. Like a beautifully crafted, searingly detailed home.

There are probably 100 sentences in this book that made me stop and marvel at Elizabeth Hay's ability as a reader.

I can't wait to read it again. If you haven't read it yet, I'm so happy that you have this experience waiting for you.
Profile Image for Ruthie.
653 reviews4 followers
August 12, 2016
Others have written great outlines and reviews. This is not my favorite book by Hay despite it taking place in two locales very familiar to me. The author seems to be trying too hard to create analogies and her attempts to let the backstory unfold slowly kept the characters at a distance. It felt like a book written specifically for book club discussions.

***Spoiler Alert!!***

While the relationship between a boy and his dog is a reliable coming-of-age mechanism, having three dogs die in the timeframe of the novel, and two of the deaths being so horrible is more than I could accept!
Profile Image for Tamye.
99 reviews10 followers
July 28, 2015
Highly recommended! I was fortunate to have received an advance copy of this book from the publisher. I think it is Elizabeth Hay's best novel yet. What a wonderful summer read! I especially loved the style of her writing, which, to me, was so gentle. Nothing particularly earth shattering happens in this book, but it doesn't really matter. You get a real sense of family and relationships that evolve over the years, set against the backdrop of the Quebec referendum on sovereignty in the 1990's. Jim is such a sensitive character who has a close bond with his mother, Nan, yet is also loyal to his father, George. They all are living with disappointment in some form or another and it is interesting to me to see how they deal with it and overcome it. The insertion of the characters of Lulu and Guy and at the end of George's brother Martin round off the storyline perfectly.

Pick up a copy of this wonderful coming of age story by a skilled Canadian author.
Profile Image for Juniper.
1,039 reviews387 followers
March 29, 2016
4 ½-stars, really.

oh how i adore elizabeth hay! i found this to be a wonderful novel - sensitive, wise and poetic. i enjoyed how hay juxtaposed the potential fracturing of canada, through the quebec referendum of 1995, with the fracturing of family. it could come across as too ham-fisted, this contrast, but i feel hay did well with it. for me, even though the real life referendum outcome was known, the currents of anxiety hay created - would quebec separate? is nan's marriage over? can lulu and her brother, guy, ever reconcile? - were so good!! and i enjoyed the timing of this read in the context of our current political climate in canada. pierre trudeau is featured, and we have recently elected one of his sons, justin, as prime minister of canada. though our country is facing so many challenges, there is a feeling of hope tied to this new government that has been absent for a long time. (sorry for that wee tangent.)

covering 7 years, and split between cottage country of eastern ontario (not too far west of ottawa), and new york city, i felt hay did a great job with her time and settings; they were so vivid in their details and mood/feel. in this coming-of-age tale, the themes of identity and forgiveness are very strong. and if this novel works well for you it may leave you pondering many things about your own self or place within your family. "what's the worst thing you've done?" is the question posed by 10yo jim, to open the story. it's a question that arises again, and is explored often in the story. the characters are a contemplative lot with long memories. and i felt they were each well developed, save for blake. (whose storyline and character were really the only weakness for me in the book, and the reason for it not being a 5-star read.)

this is also a bookish novel: nan and jim are both big readers, and lulu is an actor. books and plays are mentioned and quoted throughout, and used as sources of comfort and escape - and i loved this!

overall - i really liked this book a lot. my in-person book club chose it for the january gathering, and it's a great choice for the many discussion topics it offers. though the book covers several years and the changing seasons, i think i would have loved to read this one in the summer... at the cottage. :)

aside, possibly spoiler-y:

there is a curiosity for me concerning animals in this novel. if you are a dog person, you may find a few scenes emotionally difficult (by the third occurrence, i let out some kind of audible 'OH NO!' which caused my husband to be worried about what i had just read in the book.). i am sure there is a deeper meaning going on, and the importance of a dog for a boy is conveyed a couple of times during the story. but, man! life is hard and reality sucks! bears, loons, otters, porcupines, fish, and a rumour of wolves feature too. most being the usual suspects in cottage country.

2,001 reviews110 followers
September 10, 2016
Despite hurt, anger, betrayal, even self-imposed absence, family bonds survive and are often most evident at times of pain. This is the thesis of this mediocre novel. My primary complaint was the author’s choice to play tour guide to the reader, pointing out every motivation, thought, feeling and perception of each character. I suspect this is an easier and safer way to construct a novel. The reader is never in danger of an incorrect assumption or developing an opinion different than the author intended. But, it is a far less interesting experience for the reader. Blake was the one exception to this pattern. We were never told why this zealous born again Christian blamed his mother for his parents’ divorce and how he could persist in a refusal to even entertain the possibility of forgiving her.
Profile Image for Lolly K Dandeneau.
1,933 reviews253 followers
November 18, 2015
A slow moving character driven novel during the times Quebec was trying to leave Canada. A story about a mother's messy love (is there any other kind) and the struggle to understand your child, and your marriage while denying your own needs. Jim is a unique 10 year old who sees the world with deeper meaning than the average child. When he asks his parents on a road trip to Canada "What is the worst thing you've ever done?" both parents know just how loaded such a question is. Here we go back through incidents and moments- one important aspect that sort of flirts on the edge is that Jim's mother (Nan) has a grown son and there is an estrangement. I spent time wondering, did she hold on tighter to Jim because of the mistakes she made with her firstborn? There is a moment towards the end of the story that spoke volumes about the sort of boy Jim is.
"Jim, " she said, "are you taking notes?"
He was. He was noticing everything.

That could be the summary right there- Jim notices everything and sees far beyond his years. He has a father (George) he loves dearly but is in turns ashamed of and disappointed by. His mother 'I am never alone. I go for a walk and my thoughts crowd me off the sidewalk." is conflicted and hasn't always made the right choices in love. Did she love Jim's father as givingly as she should ( (ツ)_/¯ a okay, it may not be an official word, but givingly it is) probably not, and he feels the stinginess of it. But she is there, when he needs her- he in his fatally stubborn decisions that again arrange the lives of both Jim and his mother. "He courted unhappiness." George, is the reader to believe he chose Nan because of her distance, because he enjoyed courting unhappiness by wanting to squeeze more love from her than she really could feel? People certainly do make such choices.
Lulu is Nan's dear friend, in and out of her life through the years. With her brother Guy, who she says 'He has always demolished me" she has her own fight. There is still a need to win over a brother who has created a rupture between them. While she fights him, too there is yearning to be loved and accepted by him. This is a story about the destructiveness of choices and mistakes, missteps so to speak. It is a young boy learning about relationships through the messiness of his elders. Some people need to understand and dissect, Jim is such a person. "Jim read the air around people, the calm and the seasick air." While this is a coming of age, Jim isn't the only one growing. This isn't action packed and nothing BIG happens, it's more an exploration in relationships and all it's complications. People are flawed but trying. If nothing else, it certainly makes you think about the worst thing you've ever done and could open quite a book group discussion.
Profile Image for Jennifer Hicks.
301 reviews34 followers
August 23, 2015
This is a beautifully written book with some really interesting themes. It's a ten year old boy's take on the dissolution of his family against the background of the potential dissolution of his country (Canada during the mid-1990s when Quebec was on the verge of leaving Canada). Set in New York City and an eastern Ontario cottage, Elizabeth Hay is a master at describing time and place. I think this novel needed a little more editing as sections seemed drag and in some places dialogue was clunky. Her fans will love it, andHay is a masterful storyteller, but I think she needed more help than she got in this one.
Profile Image for Krista.
576 reviews13 followers
September 14, 2015
This was a slow, wise book. There wasn't an action packed plot line, but I still enjoyed the story of the main characters. Quite enjoyable.
Profile Image for Jenn.
74 reviews2 followers
October 27, 2015
Found the book slow and hard to get into. The characters were bland except for Lulu. I especially struggled to relate or empathize with the two main characters. The Canadian history was interesting and informative, well researched.
Profile Image for Kathy Stinson.
Author 58 books77 followers
October 13, 2015
Reading parts of His Whole Life was like holding onto summer for a little while longer, but oh the quiet agony and devastating cruelties in the lives of this book's characters! Loved it.
Profile Image for Peter.
568 reviews51 followers
April 21, 2017
There is much to discuss in Elizabeth Hay's novel His Whole Life. Where to begin is the first puzzle. How can a person who is only 15 years old be considered to have had his whole life? Perhaps the title suggests that the novel is only meant to trace Jim's life to date, his whole life up to the age of 15. Let's look at an early and obvious phrase that leaps from the page. A child named Jim, who turns out to be the protagonist of the novel, asks his parents "what is the worst thing you have ever done?" An interesting question for a young boy to ask. As we read through the novel we discover that Jim is a boy beyond his chronological age. In fact, at times he is more mature and grounded than either of his parents.

Nevertheless, I think the best place to begin this ramble is at the end of the novel. Its last sentence contains multitudes of possibilities and demands the reader to both reflect back on the novel and gaze forward into the novel's unwritten future to the life that Jim has yet to meet. To reflect on the title once again, to realize that as a 15 year old, Jim still has his whole life ahead of him.

The final words of the novel are:

--- yet everything was changing. Jim put his hand around her, closing briefly the space that was opening between them. All morning the leaves kept falling on their lake of bays.

Here we find the essence of the novel. As a fifteen year old, Jim is at the stage of life where everything is indeed changing. Change is the central troupe of the novel. From one's health, to one's relationships with parents, relatives, and even friends, Jim experiences both the long drawn out march of change and change that occurs with lightning speed. These changes are mirrored within the context of historical events that occur within the time frame of this novel. The novel is set in the mid 1990's when the possibility of Quebec separating from Canada was headline news. As the referendum question lurched its way towards the vote that would determine the fate and future of Canada, so the lives of Jim and his parents stumble towards their collective and individual futures. The vote to remain in Canada was razor thin; the fate of the Jim is left unclear at the end of the novel.

It is instructive to pay closer attention to the ending in order to appreciate how creative and suggestive it is. When Hay writes that Jim's arm closed briefly "the space that was opening between them" we realize that love can be both enduring and fleeting. Jim will move away from his mother. Loss is a part of life and the amount of loss that the mother and son have endured has both brought them together and also made them aware that they will, at some time, necessarily move away from each other. This concept of bonds that exist and bonds that will be broken is consistently reinforced throughout the novel. For example, if we take a look at the dogs that are part of Jim's life we see how with each loss of a dog Jim not only mourns a loss but also gains an important insight into the world.for example, when Jim's dog Moon is found dead, Jim mourns its loss. In a wonderfully evocative metaphor, Hay has Jim look at the moon and come to the realization that the lunar moon is an object that is at some times full, then has chunks bitten from it until it is almost gone, only to add parts until the moon is again seen full and round in the night sky. What Hay has accomplished with this metaphor is to transform the fact that Jim's dog was partially eaten into an understanding of how the greater world works. Thus, for each loss Jim learns there will be a renewal and for each pain there will come a pleasure and for each step in his painful adolescent growth will come an understanding. This understanding may be raw and may even be incomplete, but we realize that just as the moon seems to magically heal itself, so can an individual.

I was surprised at the number of times the idea of loss and then renewal or understanding and insight was repeated. Everything from trees that are blown down, to crops and flowers, to relationships between individuals and families, to the French-English backdrop of history in this novel get repeated and repeated again. I think Hay could have used fewer examples coupled with a longer exploration of meaning and insight for better effect in the novel. There is, however, no question that Hay's prose, her ability to draw effective images in the reader's mind, and to please the reader with evocative style is consistent and impressive. One of my favourite sentences in the novel was the final one. Its rich denseness of image and purpose coupled with a subtle phrasing was remarkable. The last sentence "All morning the leaves kept falling on their lake of bays" can be unpacked in many ways. The lake has been the place where the family were headed when Jim first asked his question "what is the worst thing you have ever done?" Now, at the end of the novel, we find ourselves back again at the lake. In the interval we have experienced an entire novel of revelations of people's actions that are misplaced, wrong, hurtful, morally suspect and perhaps even evil at times. The "leaves kept falling." The leaves are suggestive of people's actions. The people in the novel all seemed to drop surprises, pain, and distress on one another. We are told that these leaves fall into "their lake of bays." For Nan and Jim, as they hold each other closer, even as they know that there is a space widening between them, they can watch their lives in the movement of the leaves. Life keep falling for them as well.

When I consider the phrase "lake of bays" I see the novel in its entirety. A lake is an expanse, and Jim's experiences on the lake have been exhilarating, informative and, at times, sad and frightening. Each of these experiences has, however, helped inform Jim of the world he lives in. A bay within the topography of a lake is an indent, an inlet, an imperfection within the space of a lake. All lakes have bays as all people have flaws. Everyone has a metaphorical lake of bays. As Jim and his mother hold each other and watch the leaves fall into the lake they are actually watching their past and their future lives. Nan and Jim both hold on to each other and, by necessity, are at the same time in the act of letting go.

Consider the title --His Whole Life -- this novel is not Jim's whole life as he is only fifteen at the end of the novel. On the other hand, it is Jim's whole life because within the short span of time that this novel encompasses he has experienced life and death, love and hate, compassion and revenge. The historical template of Canada's referendum shadows the events of this novel.

Could it be that Elizabeth Hay is asking her readers if Jim's life will be any more secure than Canada's?

Profile Image for Virginia.
1,288 reviews167 followers
January 10, 2023
Fragility itself, the camaraderie between a parent and child after the child leaves home. blown down by the least rebuff.
How very much we learn about parenting, reading books like this years after it would have been useful and timely knowledge. This is certainly a book about being a parent, being a sibling, being a survivor. Not only a survivor of life's events, but a survivor in the sense of being the one left behind after a death, of what we inherit - and don't inherit. I loved the Canadian-getaway element of this book and celebrate its Canadian author. 4 stars.
Profile Image for Roxy.
302 reviews8 followers
May 20, 2019
I fell into this book so deep, that I was very sad to see it end. It has wonderfully complex characters, a lake cottage I wanted to live in, and a brief history lesson on Quebec’s fight for independence.
69 reviews2 followers
February 14, 2021
Though Elizabeth Hay earned the Giller for Late Nights on Air, I feel that this book is head and shoulders above it in so many ways. Her capability of seeing and writing about the strengths and flaws in the characters she has created--their flaws and unspoken truths in relationships--makes it a wonder to read. I loved learning how universal it is to feel deeply about a distant memory that has caused hurt and how important "self respect" is.
43 reviews1 follower
January 27, 2024
Taking place in the mid to late 90s between New York and Ottawa [or greater Ottawa area], this book follows the life of 10 year old Jim and a few years to follow.

Jim's life is clearly imperfect, as is his unconventional, split family. But there is an obvious love and appreciation he has for his family and for the life he leads, no matter how out of the ordinary. During a summer he'd never forget, Jim and his family visited his Aunt and Uncle in their cabin in a rural area outside of Ottawa. He learned to greatly love their very old and very kind dog, where he would decide that he wanted his own dog.

Upon his return to New York, his family received some shocking news that would start a succession of loss, change, and chaos which would carry out for years in Jim's life.

The reader will follow Jim through moral lessons, coming of age, and an ongoing mourning to the very end.

To be clear: this book sucked.

I would say my expectation of maxing the rating of this book at 2 stars happened on the second page, when I could immediately tell that Elizabeth Hay hoped that this would be made into a movie. "They were moving through beautiful country. The landscape opened up and closed in, opened up. into valleys then closed in with mountains but she was somewhere else now, on the back roads of her heart. Into view (dimming the green hills and valleys and turning them grey) came that article she had edited to make someone rich and successful look vain, poor slob; occasions when she had shaken her children and squeezed their young arms as hard as she could; abusive..." . That part, especially in bold, was a director's note: that's how she wanted it to look on the movie screen. Newsflash: your book won't be a movie if it's a shit book.

Let's move on from her sad choice of writing style: plot points, so many plot points.

Tragedies

This book although [I think] primarily a coming of age story, it certainly also is a tragedy. It's at least 3, 4, 5 tragedies? Is it more that that? I'm not even sure because we quickly hit the point where the only reason to keep reading was to figure out the next tragedy. The shock value of who or what will die in the upcoming chapter or two is the only thing that held this story together. Otherwise, most things were very predictable. And although plenty of people hav had tragic lives and experienced significant loss, what happened to Jim was almost a parody of overwhelming tragedy.

Useless Allusions

The primary references in this story are to the Quebec referendum of 1995, and to The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.

Referendum: I don't know if this brought her nostalgia, perhaps Elizabeth Hay feels something in her heart for when that was happening but it felt overplayed. Originally I could understand given the fact that Nan grew up so close to the Ontario/Quebec border. She then left Canada to live in the US and felt like her country was falling apart. That was fine. But for her weird son to have an obsession with one book about Canada where he hyper focused on the separatist movement of the 80s was starting to push things a bit for me. Then when we tried to make the comparison throughout the whole book between Canada falling apart and Jim's family/life falling a part really got tired. Because this story dragged on so much I really didn't want to hear even more about the upcoming referendum.

The Catcher in the Rye : I think it's possible that Jim was so some extent inspired by Holden Caulfield. That's fine. I love Holden. Jim was an ok character. But I couldn't help laugh at the nods made to The Catcher in the Rye only because one of the things which makes The Catcher in the Rye so unique is that it has essentially no plot. Much like the beloved classic, His Whole Life had minimal plot in itself. Yes many things happened, but at no point was there a goal we were trying to achieve. We weren't waiting for the protagonist to successfully do what it was they were set out to do. . The Catcher in the Rye had a uniquely angsty teenager who almost disturbed us as times who we loved because we saw ourselves in him. We went on a journey through the city streets with him to see his character develop in absolute hope that he would get somewhere in the end. Jim just had to endure higher than usual crummy life full of loss.

Final [Important] Note About How Much This Book Sucked

Unnecessary weird child sexuality.

I understand that some of the things I'm about to list can be normal in a coming of age story, especially about a young boy. However, in order for them to be normal, they have to serve the plot. Now this story had a confusing and sometimes nonexistent plot to begin with; what I am about to list I actually found served no purpose to the story.



1.

2. Jim, he was listening in on a conversation happening in the kitchen. It was described that the wind was cold on his skin and his penis was hard, or pointing up or something clearly describing an erection. Personally I don't want to look it up for clarification but we didn't need to get the 11 year old's boner described to us. There was no need for that.

3. Later in the story Jim masturbates. You could almost argue that #2 led us to #3 making it relevant. But I would only agree if #3 was relevant to the story. There was no reason to make Jim masturbate, it served no purpose to the story. Again, if there were certain coming of age themes like puberty I think there's a possibility that this wouldn't be weird. But all in all it just felt like she was thinking too much about little boy erections. I am NOT saying Elizabeth Hay is a pedophile by any means. I'm just saying that it was weird. These things did not add to the story and they seemed forced into the book for no reason.

All in all my recommendation for this book is don't read it, don't buy it. It got a second star instead of 1 (I considered 1 star) because she at least led me to want to continue so I could know how many characters would die by the end and how awful she could make Jim's life so she at least got points for keeping me reading.

However if I didn't have a horrible need to give every book I own a shot before closing it 2 pages in (I did close this book 2 pages in about 6 years ago) I probably wouldn't have ever gone back to it.
Profile Image for Nancy Croth.
375 reviews1 follower
September 15, 2015
This is a gorgeous book!!!! If you have ever spent any time in Canada's cottage country, you will experience the visceral sensation of being transported to the essence of nature in it's many changes of attire. That is the backdrop to this lovely story of the relationship between a mother, her son, her husband and her best friend, tied up in knots with all of the mucky-mucky that relationships tend to produce. I didn't want it to end!!!!
Profile Image for Rebecca.
948 reviews1 follower
January 29, 2016
This book was beyond awful, not sure why I even finished it. Just a story about an unhappy family, where nothing happens, with passing references to separatist Québec and Pierre Trudeau.
Profile Image for Kim Mayrs.
235 reviews
June 30, 2023
This book goes in the DNF list. I thought a book with some Canadian content would be good to read. I found it dull and boring. I also found the writing not very good. Time to move on.
Profile Image for Tricia Dower.
Author 5 books83 followers
January 9, 2018
Tenderly written story about breaking up and making up with friends and family, set in a lake community in Ontario and noisier New York City against the Quebec separation referendum of 1995. I loved it for the beauty of Hay's writing but felt the twinning of the family and political break-ups was forced in places. I remember that time well, though. On the night of the referendum, my husband and I were driving from Ontario to New Jersey to see to my mother who had gone to the hospital. We listened to the results on CBC as long as we could keep the station. One of my mother's doctor's was from Montreal and when we arrived, he was anxious to know what had happened.
Profile Image for Lulu Hennessy.
146 reviews
March 6, 2023
I wanted to like it more

I really wanted to like this book. It started with promise and intrigue. I was invested in the characters and what their stories were. However as the book progressed the characters did not. I found myself liking every character less and less with every page. It was not that the characters upset me or angered me . It was that they all seemed to display intense apathy for everything. Not one character had spark.
I enjoyed the writing, I enjoyed the settings. I felt I could really place myself along the characters but why would I want to when they were so meh. I am glad I finished it but honestly it left me unsatisfied.
Profile Image for Rennie.
1,013 reviews1 follower
June 3, 2022
It had some positives but it just missed the mark for me. It was overall a dreary story and I never really got why Nan would be with George which gave me a constant feeling of frustration. Jim was impressive, if a bit too good to be true, and while Lulu brought in some lightness, there was just too much heaviness for her to cure. An Epilogue to tell us how things turned out might have helped but as it is - I have to leave it at 2 stars.
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