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The Devil At Home: The horrific true story of a woman held captive
‘He pushed open the door, and I saw that he was pulling something out of a bag he was carrying. It was a gun – a sawn-off shotgun.’Featured on ITV's Lorraine with Michael Sheen and Rachel Williams. Darren was funny and attractive, and 21-year-old Rachel fell head-over-heels for him; it wasn’t long before they moved in together, and she fell pregnant with his child. But his inner demons soon surfaced... Weakened and alone, Rachel was beaten and tormented by him for 18 years, until one day, Darren turned up at her place of work with a shotgun and left her for dead. But her ordeal wasn’t over… Devastating yet inspiring, Rachel’s story of hope tells of how you can always find the light, even in the very darkest of times.‘Incredibly poignant and powerful.’ – Victoria Derbyshire ‘Transformative. Life changing.’ – Michael Sheen
202 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 8, 2018
47 people are currently reading
260 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Williams
1 book4 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
May 2, 2018
The only sympathy I have after reading this book is for her sons and the animals Darren killed and tortured ( whilst Rachel stood by and watched and did nothing except go buy another dog)
This woman is seriously deluded and takes no responsibility for anything she did including any blame for her sons suicide. The poor lad 16 had just lost his dad ( who yes was a complete monster) but still his dad and asked the police to take his house keys off him and then when the police came back and asked for some of his clothes and belongings she refused.
I don't understand why a woman who was so scared of him would after a few days of leaving him ring up a family friend who was a solicitor and sleep with him knowing it would get back to darren.
I do wonder why a woman who was so apparently scared of him would want to prevoke him further?
Towards the end when she met another man who then said he was leaving her due to him wanting a more religious life, she suddenly then found god that night, I just thought really?
The fact she was on dating sites a couple of weeks after her son died just came across as disrespectful and self centered.
I also don't understand why she as kept the last name of her abusive ex when she is apparently happily married again? By some of her comments in the book and the name I believe she thinks she is some kind of celebrity. I have never read a book where I couldn't stand the author, so this is a first.
This woman is seriously deluded and takes no responsibility for anything she did including any blame for her sons suicide. The poor lad 16 had just lost his dad ( who yes was a complete monster) but still his dad and asked the police to take his house keys off him and then when the police came back and asked for some of his clothes and belongings she refused.
I don't understand why a woman who was so scared of him would after a few days of leaving him ring up a family friend who was a solicitor and sleep with him knowing it would get back to darren.
I do wonder why a woman who was so apparently scared of him would want to prevoke him further?
Towards the end when she met another man who then said he was leaving her due to him wanting a more religious life, she suddenly then found god that night, I just thought really?
The fact she was on dating sites a couple of weeks after her son died just came across as disrespectful and self centered.
I also don't understand why she as kept the last name of her abusive ex when she is apparently happily married again? By some of her comments in the book and the name I believe she thinks she is some kind of celebrity. I have never read a book where I couldn't stand the author, so this is a first.
April 14, 2018
This may not be the best written book from a technical point of view, but it was so emotionally raw and honest that I struggled to put it down. Rachel is a normal working class girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Her message is powerful and emotional. I hope that her strength is contagious for anyone reading her story - an inspiration.
November 28, 2019
An honest and shocking true story of an abusive relationship.
Darren was attractive and charming when Rachel first met him. After a very short amount of time, Rachel was in love - but Darren's inner demons started to come to the surface. After 18 years of daily torment, he turned up at Rachel's place at work with a shotgun and left her for dead.
Rachel's story was told bravely and I admire her for telling it.
Darren was attractive and charming when Rachel first met him. After a very short amount of time, Rachel was in love - but Darren's inner demons started to come to the surface. After 18 years of daily torment, he turned up at Rachel's place at work with a shotgun and left her for dead.
Rachel's story was told bravely and I admire her for telling it.
August 20, 2023
A well written, devastating memoir about abuse, survival and loss.
March 31, 2018
The author has done an amazing job by telling her story of domestic abuse and the devastating impact it can have on a woman and her family.
Was horrified to read that once the abuse was over that she still was the targeted by her husband's family, judging her rather than him.
Domestic abuse is about power and control and is never the victim's fault and sadly women are at their most vulnerable when they try to leave the relationship as was the case with Rachel
This book will help so many women who read it to spot the signs that their relationship may also be abusive but also will offer hope that there is life after abuse too
Was horrified to read that once the abuse was over that she still was the targeted by her husband's family, judging her rather than him.
Domestic abuse is about power and control and is never the victim's fault and sadly women are at their most vulnerable when they try to leave the relationship as was the case with Rachel
This book will help so many women who read it to spot the signs that their relationship may also be abusive but also will offer hope that there is life after abuse too
did-not-finish
January 14, 2021I wasn't that into the book when I read the questionable reviews of this story. From what I gather it is not something I want to waste my time on, especially if it is largely poor judgement on the author's part.
April 22, 2019
My thoughts are with Joshua and I hope he has a peaceful life ahead of him
Sadly, somethings do not add up in the book
I wish Rachel all the very best in her campaigns against domestic abuse.
Sadly, somethings do not add up in the book
I wish Rachel all the very best in her campaigns against domestic abuse.
April 11, 2025
This story had me in tears. I don’t usually write reviews, but after reading some critical reviews, here are my thoughts:
I can see how this is the understanding you might have if you’ve never been a victim of domestic abuse. If you’ve never experienced psychological terror so acute that even witnessing animal violence feels less dangerous than trying to stop it and risking the safety of your children. If you’ve never been conditioned by years of trauma to feel powerless, or learned that any act of defiance could provoke catastrophic consequences.
What’s often misunderstood is how psychological abuse over nearly two decades, like what Rachel endured, can lead to something called trauma bonding—where a victim, through cycles of abuse and manipulation, becomes emotionally tethered to their abuser. It’s a survival response, not a conscious choice. Many people also don’t understand how abusers isolate their victims, stripping away support systems, independence, and even the sense of what “normal” is. That’s why judging Rachel for not stopping Darren sooner completely misses the point: she was systematically broken down over years.
Also, not understanding how being bound to a bed, physically unable to search for your child, would drive a desperate mother to try any means to reach him. Imagine that agony. When you’re living in that state of helplessness, and you’re still trying to protect your other child—who did nothing to deserve this—it forces impossible choices. And yes, clinging to your son’s clothes might seem irrational from the outside, but to someone who hasn’t seen her child since the worst day of her life, it becomes a symbol of hope and connection.
People also question her decisions after escaping, like contacting a solicitor who was also a friend, or starting to date again not long after. But leaving an abuser doesn’t just bring freedom—it brings a rush of urgency to reclaim your life. Every moment feels precious. Survivors often make rapid moves toward healing and independence because they’ve spent years having that stolen. What might seem “too soon” to you might feel like survival to someone else.
Criticising someone from the outside is always easier than imagining what it’s like to be in the thick of it. When you’re trying to provide for your family, keep your abuser at bay, and ensure your children are physically safe—all while stuck in constant survival mode—your capacity to prioritise their emotional and mental wellbeing can become severely compromised. What might look, in hindsight, like neglect or emotional absence is often the result of years spent living in an environment where fear and dysfunction became normal. Over time, your tolerance for chaos increases, and things that would alarm others might not even register.
That’s not to say she’s absolved of responsibility—it doesn’t excuse her from reflecting on the impact this had on her children—but it does help explain why it was so difficult to have that clarity. When you don’t even have a sense of self-worth or self-preservation, it’s incredibly hard to fully grasp the emotional needs of those around you. Her trauma didn’t make her a perfect parent, but it made her a mother doing the best she could in circumstances most people couldn’t survive. No one operating in survival mode gets everything right—and expecting flawless parenting in the midst of abuse is not only unrealistic, it’s deeply unfair.
And as for her “finding God”—people find faith in all kinds of ways, especially in moments of abandonment and grief. It’s easy to mock, harder to understand that coping mechanisms don’t always make sense to others, but they help people get through the worst of what life throws at them.
Finally, Rachel has turned her experience into a platform to help others. She didn’t write this book to make herself a celebrity—she wrote it to shine light on the hidden realities of domestic violence, to push for real change, and to give voice to women who don’t survive to tell their stories.
Unless you’ve lived through it, it’s incredibly difficult to comprehend the decisions made under coercion, fear, grief, and survival mode. But I hope this helps you understand why judging a victim through the lens of an outsider doesn’t just miss the truth—it risks reinforcing the very silence that lets abuse thrive.
I can see how this is the understanding you might have if you’ve never been a victim of domestic abuse. If you’ve never experienced psychological terror so acute that even witnessing animal violence feels less dangerous than trying to stop it and risking the safety of your children. If you’ve never been conditioned by years of trauma to feel powerless, or learned that any act of defiance could provoke catastrophic consequences.
What’s often misunderstood is how psychological abuse over nearly two decades, like what Rachel endured, can lead to something called trauma bonding—where a victim, through cycles of abuse and manipulation, becomes emotionally tethered to their abuser. It’s a survival response, not a conscious choice. Many people also don’t understand how abusers isolate their victims, stripping away support systems, independence, and even the sense of what “normal” is. That’s why judging Rachel for not stopping Darren sooner completely misses the point: she was systematically broken down over years.
Also, not understanding how being bound to a bed, physically unable to search for your child, would drive a desperate mother to try any means to reach him. Imagine that agony. When you’re living in that state of helplessness, and you’re still trying to protect your other child—who did nothing to deserve this—it forces impossible choices. And yes, clinging to your son’s clothes might seem irrational from the outside, but to someone who hasn’t seen her child since the worst day of her life, it becomes a symbol of hope and connection.
People also question her decisions after escaping, like contacting a solicitor who was also a friend, or starting to date again not long after. But leaving an abuser doesn’t just bring freedom—it brings a rush of urgency to reclaim your life. Every moment feels precious. Survivors often make rapid moves toward healing and independence because they’ve spent years having that stolen. What might seem “too soon” to you might feel like survival to someone else.
Criticising someone from the outside is always easier than imagining what it’s like to be in the thick of it. When you’re trying to provide for your family, keep your abuser at bay, and ensure your children are physically safe—all while stuck in constant survival mode—your capacity to prioritise their emotional and mental wellbeing can become severely compromised. What might look, in hindsight, like neglect or emotional absence is often the result of years spent living in an environment where fear and dysfunction became normal. Over time, your tolerance for chaos increases, and things that would alarm others might not even register.
That’s not to say she’s absolved of responsibility—it doesn’t excuse her from reflecting on the impact this had on her children—but it does help explain why it was so difficult to have that clarity. When you don’t even have a sense of self-worth or self-preservation, it’s incredibly hard to fully grasp the emotional needs of those around you. Her trauma didn’t make her a perfect parent, but it made her a mother doing the best she could in circumstances most people couldn’t survive. No one operating in survival mode gets everything right—and expecting flawless parenting in the midst of abuse is not only unrealistic, it’s deeply unfair.
And as for her “finding God”—people find faith in all kinds of ways, especially in moments of abandonment and grief. It’s easy to mock, harder to understand that coping mechanisms don’t always make sense to others, but they help people get through the worst of what life throws at them.
Finally, Rachel has turned her experience into a platform to help others. She didn’t write this book to make herself a celebrity—she wrote it to shine light on the hidden realities of domestic violence, to push for real change, and to give voice to women who don’t survive to tell their stories.
Unless you’ve lived through it, it’s incredibly difficult to comprehend the decisions made under coercion, fear, grief, and survival mode. But I hope this helps you understand why judging a victim through the lens of an outsider doesn’t just miss the truth—it risks reinforcing the very silence that lets abuse thrive.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 11, 2020
I know people are going to hate this review but these are my honest feelings after finishing this book.
I really wanted to empathize with the author but throughout most of the book I found myself distracted from Rachel's story because I was worrying about the kids. They seemed like an afterthought for most of the story. And in the end when she said “It’s only now, doing the work I do, that I understand just how much children are affected by violence in the home. If I’d know this when my boys were young, maybe I would have tried to leave Daren sooner.” Did she really think her kids would grow up unscathed? And “maybe” she would have left Darren sooner? If looking back she knew what this was doing to her kids there should have been no "maybe." She should have done anything to get them out of there. Yet when she left Darren and hid at a friends house she left the boys with the “monster.”
The thing that bothered me the most was in every chapter I got the impression that this wasn't meant to be an honest account of Rachel's story but rather the author attempting to paint herself in the best possible light in every situation, both big and small. It seemed that pieces of the story were glossed over or omitted to for this reason. And EVERYTHING was someone else's fault. Fault was placed at the hands of her husband, his family, the police, government agencies, etc and there was blame to go around for sure, but not once did she say "I could have done something differently." I would have liked this book much more and been able to empathize if the author would have taken just a little responsibility, for anything. And in case anyone is getting the wrong idea I'm not talking about her being abused obviously, but I can't go into details without spoiling some of the story.
Would I recommend this? No, because I don't feel like the author was always being honest with both large and small details. This is just my impression but it stayed with me throughout the entire book.
I really wanted to empathize with the author but throughout most of the book I found myself distracted from Rachel's story because I was worrying about the kids. They seemed like an afterthought for most of the story. And in the end when she said “It’s only now, doing the work I do, that I understand just how much children are affected by violence in the home. If I’d know this when my boys were young, maybe I would have tried to leave Daren sooner.” Did she really think her kids would grow up unscathed? And “maybe” she would have left Darren sooner? If looking back she knew what this was doing to her kids there should have been no "maybe." She should have done anything to get them out of there. Yet when she left Darren and hid at a friends house she left the boys with the “monster.”
The thing that bothered me the most was in every chapter I got the impression that this wasn't meant to be an honest account of Rachel's story but rather the author attempting to paint herself in the best possible light in every situation, both big and small. It seemed that pieces of the story were glossed over or omitted to for this reason. And EVERYTHING was someone else's fault. Fault was placed at the hands of her husband, his family, the police, government agencies, etc and there was blame to go around for sure, but not once did she say "I could have done something differently." I would have liked this book much more and been able to empathize if the author would have taken just a little responsibility, for anything. And in case anyone is getting the wrong idea I'm not talking about her being abused obviously, but I can't go into details without spoiling some of the story.
Would I recommend this? No, because I don't feel like the author was always being honest with both large and small details. This is just my impression but it stayed with me throughout the entire book.
July 26, 2018
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ THIS BRAVE WOMAN'S BOOK. IN MY MIND SHE IS A HERO. SHE FACED EVERY CHALLENGE WITH STRENGTH. EVENTUALLY AFTER YEARS OF PAIN AND INTENSE SUFFERING SHE FINDS HAPPINESS AND SPEAKS NOW ON BEHALF OF ALL WOMEN BEING ABUSED. I CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS BOOK HIGHLY ENOUGH. I READ IT ON MY KINDLE. I HAVE SENT FOR A HARD COPY, I WANT TO MAKE SURE MY HUSBAND READS IT AND REALISES HOW LUCKY WE HAVE BEEN. WE DO ARGUE, AT LEAST WE CAN TALK AND EVENTUALLY FIX THINGS, MOST OF ALL THEIR IS NO VIOLENCE. FOR ME THIS IS MAGIC, BECAUSE LIKE THIS LOVELY LADY SUFFERED IN HER MARRIAGE I SUFFERED AS A CHILD BROUGHT UP BY PARENTS WHO WERE ABUSIVE TO EACH OTHER. IT AFFECTED ME FOR YEARS. I HAVE HAD HELP. I LIKE READING A GOOD BOOK LIKE THIS AS IT REMINDS ME JUST HOW LUCKY I AM. I WISH NOTHING ONLY HAPPINESS AND LOVE TO RACHEL...THE REAL HERO
March 19, 2019
WOW! Truly crying my eyes out at this book. What a truly inspiring book. Feel absolutely overwhelmed y this book and how truly courageous Rachael was in this book about her like and the affect that domestic violence has not only on oneself but also on the friends and family around the person who is being abused. The truly phenomenal strength that was shown by Racheal against all the odds that was thrown at her by being shot in public , to her youngest child hanging himself like his father. But like all story there is an end and the most fantastic thing about this ending is that she gets her dream man her Prince Charming and a saviour of her dreams couldn’t of ended a perfect way for me
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 1, 2018
Excellent.
Where to start with this emotional book? Firstly, Rachel is such a strong woman and has gone on to do so much good after her awful experience. Halfway through this book I got so angry with her for putting up with the nonsense and then thought back to my youth when I got engaged to a control freak who tried to isolate me. The follies of youth! I was horrified when I realised what happened to her son and I'm so pleased she has now found a good man to share her life with.
Where to start with this emotional book? Firstly, Rachel is such a strong woman and has gone on to do so much good after her awful experience. Halfway through this book I got so angry with her for putting up with the nonsense and then thought back to my youth when I got engaged to a control freak who tried to isolate me. The follies of youth! I was horrified when I realised what happened to her son and I'm so pleased she has now found a good man to share her life with.
April 1, 2020
Don’t know what to say really?! I thought she was quite self absorbed. Didn’t really convey to me just how devastating the suicide of her son was... didn’t really do enough regarding his welfare in hospital or now ....then straight to match.com to find a date 🙄 something off about it all. Also why has she still got her dead abusive ex-husbands surname?????? Too many questions....quite annoyed reading it!!!!
June 3, 2020
A lot of hurt.
I cannot imagine how you have come out of the most horrific marriage that you have put up with, I would have left the marriage long before you did it is not a man that hits a woman I hope this helps others that is going through the same as you . through.thank goodness I am in a good marriage,we have our ups downs but we soon make up.I hope you will have a better life soon.
I cannot imagine how you have come out of the most horrific marriage that you have put up with, I would have left the marriage long before you did it is not a man that hits a woman I hope this helps others that is going through the same as you . through.thank goodness I am in a good marriage,we have our ups downs but we soon make up.I hope you will have a better life soon.
September 23, 2020
😪
Such a sad story of abuse prevalent in families throughout the ages, Rachel had a horrendously abusive marriage that ended in suicide of husband and son. Her strength of character shines through, she is a very strong character 💪 the other side of victim to survivor is so hard, its hard to get there a d hard to stay there. Her work with domestic abuse survivors gives others hope
Such a sad story of abuse prevalent in families throughout the ages, Rachel had a horrendously abusive marriage that ended in suicide of husband and son. Her strength of character shines through, she is a very strong character 💪 the other side of victim to survivor is so hard, its hard to get there a d hard to stay there. Her work with domestic abuse survivors gives others hope
December 23, 2025
A truly heartbreaking read. Rachel shares her experience of coercive control that just didn’t end the day her ex husband killed himself but beyond this due to utter devastating fall over after that no person should ever have to go through. I couldn’t believe how other people treated her after when she was the victim. It certainly is a worthwhile read for those who work with victims and survivors of domestic and their families
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 30, 2018
Totally enthralled
I thoroughly enjoyed the book and was totally enthralled by Rachel's story. I am so happy that she survived her ordeal and is finally happy. She is an inspiration to others in her situation.
I thoroughly enjoyed the book and was totally enthralled by Rachel's story. I am so happy that she survived her ordeal and is finally happy. She is an inspiration to others in her situation.
May 28, 2025
A powerfully written book which really shows the dangerous and risk of domestic abuse but it's wider impact on the family and children. A very strong women whose bravery has made a positive impact to those around her.
January 28, 2026
This book was heartbreaking and shocking. What this woman, family went through ontop of loosing her son. This took courage to write what she endured and now helping others how important it is to recognise signs of abuse. This story will stay with me.
March 14, 2018
Such a good book
Really good book although it did bring some horrible memory' s back from my childhood and there is help after all.
Really good book although it did bring some horrible memory' s back from my childhood and there is help after all.
March 18, 2018
This is a brilliant book. Telling the abuse that Rachel went through without an ounce of self pity. What an inspirational woman.
April 29, 2018
Sad book.
Lovely and emotional book. So sad to hear all the things that goes on behind closed doors. A must read
Lovely and emotional book. So sad to hear all the things that goes on behind closed doors. A must read
May 27, 2018
Outstanding read
What an amazing lady I’m so glad she told her story her way. I read this book in a day I could not put it down, a truly inspirational woman
What an amazing lady I’m so glad she told her story her way. I read this book in a day I could not put it down, a truly inspirational woman
June 14, 2018
Well written, really describes life with a domestic abuser. Thank you for sharing your story
August 17, 2018
Beatings
A brilliant book, a true horrific story that will have you on the edge of your seat, a book i couldn't put down
A brilliant book, a true horrific story that will have you on the edge of your seat, a book i couldn't put down
August 26, 2018
Sad story about a woman & her abusive ex husband. Very well written. Really worth reading.
September 29, 2018
I enjoyed reading the book but it got very dramatic and I was wondering how much did Rachael bring upon herself? Tragic to lose a child but why did she stay with her brute of a husband?
April 22, 2019
Great read
Didn’t want to put this book down.
Great book.
Great read
Great true story
5 star rating
Would recommend this
Didn’t want to put this book down.
Great book.
Great read
Great true story
5 star rating
Would recommend this
March 11, 2019
Read this in a couple of days. Gripping account of someone who has experienced abuse within a relationship. However, this could also be a trigger to someone who has also experienced abuse.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews