The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself (Expanded Edition): How Loving Yourself the Way God Does Can Bring Healing and Freedom to Your Life

by Jerry Basel

What Keeps You from Loving Someone God Loves So Much? How might your life change if you really believed God loves you—not just in your head but down where it counts, in your heart? Imagine how different things could The lies you’ve believed about yourself all these years, dispelled. The wounds of abuse, healed. Your future lit with hope, peace, and purpose. Your closeness with God and others deepened immeasurably. The true, heaven-born you, free at last to live a life unclouded by shame, guilt, and fear and empowered to love others fully. That can be you. The truth is far, far better than you’ve known. Used both individually and in Bible studies, recovery groups, men’s and women’s retreats, and private counseling across the country, The Missing Love Yourself invites you on a journey of God-discovery, self-discovery, and truth-discovery. This expanded edition sheds still greater light on some of life’s most wounding influences—and the way to move beyond them. Drawing on their many years of biblical counseling practice, Jerry and Denise Basel help you experience God’s love as the daily, motivating force in your life. And they show you how to stop punishing and start loving someone whom your heavenly Father loves very much—YOU. You see, the missing commandment has never been missing from the Bible, only from your life. But that can change, starting now.

Genres: Nonfiction

210 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 29, 2013

About the author

Jerry and Denise Basel, who have been married for over 40 years, have co-directed The Father’s Heart Intensive Christian Counseling Ministry for over twenty years, counseling individuals and couples worldwide. Both completed Master's Degrees in Christian Counseling at Regent University in Virginia Beach, with Jerry completing an additional Master's Degree in Theology, and Denise, a Post Master's Certificate with a Biblical Counseling emphasis. The Basels also hold Master's Degrees in Higher Education from Michigan State University. Prior to committing their lives to pastoral ministry, they both held teaching and administrative positions at the college and university level for almost 20 years. Jerry is also an ordained pastor.The Basels reside in Cleveland, Georgia. Visit their website at www.fathersheart.com and www.jerryanddenisebasel.com.

Reviews

[Adam Jarvis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a little skeptical of this book. I thought it might be full of seeker sensitive, humanistic, watered-down theology. But that is not what this book is at all. It is solid, biblical, and theologically sound.

The authors use their own personal experience as examples throughout this book, as well as including the testimonies of many of their clients.

The main point of this book is that if we look at ourselves as worthless, that is a biblically wrong perspective, because we are to love what God loves, and God loves us. The authors go on to show the negative impact that comes when refuse to see things the way God sees them, and how a false humility can damage not only our own lives, but the lives of those we love as well.

There is a lot of emphasis on the formation of our worldview, and thus a lot of focus on our childhood beliefs and understandings.

A beautiful, biblical, refreshingly hopeful book that truly glorifies God and encourages humankind.

[Kimberlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was balm to my soul. I love the author's choices to balance between quotes from other authors, personal stories of the authors, and their own clinical work. I like Stasi and John Eldredge, and this book is very consistent with their message. This book was a gift from a good friend, and it was so good!

[Krista Yurchak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book so much I am teaching from it this weekend and in January with a small group. The concepts in this book while familiar to me were presented in a new way. This has caused me to feel God's grace in new and refreshing ways. Well written with examples from the authors' own experience and testimony from clients.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Top of the tops! 🌟 "The Missing Commandment: Love Yourself" by Jerry Bassel is an absolute treasure. This book is a must-read for anyone embarking on an emotional and Christian spiritual healing journey. It sets a solid foundation for all related aspects and is incredibly useful for counselors, providing insight into the integration of various themes in the healing process. What I found particularly helpful was the detailed content on shame—an area often missing from other healing books. This book is truly transformative and life-changing.

[Wesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

The insights encouraged me to release shame and step into a freedom I never believed was within reach, guiding me through truths that softened old wounds and reminding me in the most reassuring way that God’s love remains constant, unshakable, and fully present even when my heart struggles to accept it.

[Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

The insights encouraged me to release shame and step into a freedom I never believed was within reach, guiding me through truths that softened old wounds and reminding me in the most reassuring way that God’s love remains constant, unshakable, and fully present even when my heart struggles to accept it.

[Gabriel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book opened my heart in ways I didn’t expect, gently uncovering years of hidden pain and replacing them with the deep, quiet awareness that God has loved me steadily through every season of my life.

[Cameron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our Book Club is thrilled to introduce this book during the spotlight, and I was deeply moved by how it opened my heart in ways I didn’t expect, gently uncovering years of hidden pain and revealing that God has loved me steadily through every season of my life.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our Book Club is proud to feature this book during the spotlight, and I discovered that the truths in this book slowly unraveled lies I had carried for far too long, helping me see myself through the tenderness of God’s eyes.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our Book Club is honored to present this book during the spotlight, and I experienced guidance through fears and insecurities I had buried, reminding me that God’s love is always stronger than the shame I once believed was permanent.

[Zoey · Rating 5 out of 5]

With every chapter, I felt layers of fear, doubt, and self-criticism slowly lift away, creating space inside me for a deeper sense of hope and strength, while opening my eyes to the reality that I am cherished by God with a tenderness far greater than anything I had imagined or believed possible.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our Book Club is honored to feature this book during the spotlight, and I appreciated how it guided me to release guilt and embrace self-love as an expression of God’s truth, transforming the way I perceive myself and my relationship with Him.

[Melanie Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every Christian should read this book, especially those who had hurtful childhood experiences. I wish I would have had the knowledge and understanding in this book 20+ years ago.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every page felt like a gentle invitation to breathe again as the truths within slowly unraveled lies I carried for far too long and helped me see myself through the tenderness of God’s eyes.

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

These words met me in places I rarely touch, guiding me through fears and insecurities I buried, and reminding me that God’s love has always been stronger than the shame I thought would never leave.

[tamera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book felt like sitting in a warm light that slowly softened the hardened corners of my heart, showing me that healing is not only possible but already unfolding inside me.

[Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

With every chapter, I felt myself rediscovering the person God originally designed me to be, realizing that my wounds are not my identity and my story still carries purpose.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The gentle honesty in these pages helped me see how deeply God cares for every fractured part of me, inviting me into a healing journey that felt both humbling and beautifully freeing.

[Arigib · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I read, I found layers of guilt dissolving and a fresh understanding emerging, that learning to love myself is an act of agreeing with God’s truth rather than resisting His kindness.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Each insight touched a different wound in my story, helping me release what was never meant to stay and reminding me that God’s love is strong enough to restore even the oldest places of pain.

[Favour · Rating 5 out of 5]

The writing carried such gentle authority that it opened my heart to truths I had pushed away, giving me the courage to believe that healing is meant for me too.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every chapter wrapped around my heart with a compassion that made me feel seen, reminding me that God has never overlooked the parts of me that ache the most.

[Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book became a mirror that reflected not my failures but God’s intentions for my life, awakening a sense of worth, identity, and hope I thought I had lost.

[Mine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found myself slowing down, rereading lines that felt like personal whispers from God, calling me back to a version of myself that shame had tried to silence.

[Liam · Rating 5 out of 5]

The honesty in this book gently exposed the fears shaping my decisions, helping me recognize that God has been patiently guiding me toward freedom all along.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

These pages held my heart with such tenderness that I felt layers of old pain lifting, allowing me to see God’s love not as an idea but as a living comfort.

[Loveth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book illuminated places where I believed lies about myself, replacing them with truths that helped me step into a healthier and more hopeful way of living.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished each chapter feeling lighter, as if burdens I carried for years were quietly being lifted by God’s gentle reassurance that I am deeply loved.

[Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

The reflections helped me confront emotions I avoided, and with every page I felt God’s kindness drawing me toward a more whole version of myself.

[Theodore · Rating 5 out of 5]

The insights felt like light entering the dark corners of my heart, bringing clarity, peace, and a renewed sense of who I am in God’s story.