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Time and Despondency: Regaining the Present in Faith and Life
Idleness. Apathy. Restlessness. Procrastination. These are symptoms, of what early Christian theologians called despondency (acedia), a spiritual sickness rooted in a lack of care or effort. A condition as old as the ancients, despondency thrives in today’s culture of leisure, anxiety, and digital distraction. Time and Despondency is a penetrating synthesis of ancient theology, spiritual memoir, and self-help practicality. It envisions despondency as the extension of a broken relationship with the experience of time. Driven by the fear of death and the anxiety of living, despondency drives us to abandon the present moment, forsaking the only temporal realm in which we have true fellowship with Christ. The remedies offered by time-honored Christian thinkers for this predicament constitute not only an antidote to despondency but also stepping stones back to the present moment. In regaining the sacredness of time, we re-encounter the Resurrection of Christ in the dark and restless moments of our lives.
179 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 11, 2018
118 people are currently reading
321 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
January 15, 2018
I find thinking about time really fascinating, so I have been a big fan of Dr. Nicole Roccas' podcast, Time Eternal, on Ancient Faith Radio since it began two years ago. When she announced that she'd be writing a book, I was very excited -- but when she said the topic was despondency, I thought, "well that's nice but it's probably not really for me." I have my struggles, but I didn't think they included despondency. I am a fairly optimistic person and have not much grappled with depression (she covers the difference and relationship between depression and despondency in the book.) Reading this book, however, has completely opened my eyes to the fact that my primary spiritual battle is actually despondency; I get these ambivalent feelings and they immobilize my spiritual life -- but I would never have called them despondency myself.
This book is really helpful because it describes despondency in a way that really brings it to life for me. It's such an old concept, and as Dr. Roccas points out, it is all mixed up with ideas about depression, which is a modern medical idea. Once I saw how she delineated and defined the two, I could begin to understand what despondency is -- and I saw with a start that not only have I struggled with it, but my husband has as well, and it's really the root of some problems we had been dealing with in our marriage! Funny enough, when I realized that this book was talking to some of the most important struggles in my life, I was so excited!
The good news is that this book didn't just help me diagnose my problem, but it actually continues to explain how to effectively fight despondency and offers a way to pray that will really work for those periods of despondency. I am so pleasantly surprised! I was reading this book because I love to think about time, and I accidentally stumbled into something I really needed. Of course, we Christians know that there accidents are rare, and that God probably dropped this book onto my path because it's what I needed now. I'm so glad He did.
So whether you know you struggle with despondency or not, you might want to take a look at this book. We are modern people in a modern world, and we don't always have a lot of understanding of the spiritual illnesses that have always plagued human beings. Dr. Nicole Roccas is a natural teacher. She takes a complex subject and articulates it in a clear way that we can all understand, helping us to see both the problem and its solution. I'm so grateful for this book, because I understand myself better and now I have a clear strategy for handling what has become my biggest spiritual challenge.
This book is really helpful because it describes despondency in a way that really brings it to life for me. It's such an old concept, and as Dr. Roccas points out, it is all mixed up with ideas about depression, which is a modern medical idea. Once I saw how she delineated and defined the two, I could begin to understand what despondency is -- and I saw with a start that not only have I struggled with it, but my husband has as well, and it's really the root of some problems we had been dealing with in our marriage! Funny enough, when I realized that this book was talking to some of the most important struggles in my life, I was so excited!
The good news is that this book didn't just help me diagnose my problem, but it actually continues to explain how to effectively fight despondency and offers a way to pray that will really work for those periods of despondency. I am so pleasantly surprised! I was reading this book because I love to think about time, and I accidentally stumbled into something I really needed. Of course, we Christians know that there accidents are rare, and that God probably dropped this book onto my path because it's what I needed now. I'm so glad He did.
So whether you know you struggle with despondency or not, you might want to take a look at this book. We are modern people in a modern world, and we don't always have a lot of understanding of the spiritual illnesses that have always plagued human beings. Dr. Nicole Roccas is a natural teacher. She takes a complex subject and articulates it in a clear way that we can all understand, helping us to see both the problem and its solution. I'm so grateful for this book, because I understand myself better and now I have a clear strategy for handling what has become my biggest spiritual challenge.
January 16, 2018
What more can I say than that this book represents timeless wisdom delivered at an opportune time?
In my pastoral and counselling work with people, especially with young adults--and, truth be told, at the heart of my own life--I am confronted on a daily basis with the frustration and despair of our age. We are imprisoned in lives bereft of purpose, moving from anxious moment to anxious moment, haunted by the past, worried about the future. So many of us end up simply drifting through life, only vaguely aware there could be something more to it all, and consumed by the guilt that we are not actually doing anything about it. When into this toxic mix we mindlessly pour the prescriptions of faith--directives to trust in God, to pray, to turn from vices to virtues--these just end up weighing us down all the more; they become yet more things we never quite get around to doing.
What Dr Nicole Roccas has done in this book is remarkable. She cuts through our modern illusions and shows the perennial character of so many of our contemporary paradoxes and problems. Drawing on the wisdom of early church fathers and Orthodox Christian tradition, she guides us into profoundly practical advice to recover something that is at once awe-inspiring and simple, the "kairos" opportunity of the present moment, our capacity to lean into the "now" and respond fully to God, and thereby becoming fulfilled (and fully-filled) human beings.
If you've ever been sad and been told to pray about it, but didn't know where to begin--if you've ever struggled or suffered and been told to have faith, but didn't think you had the capacity to conjure that up--if you've ever wondered how Christianity can really represent the transformation of sorrow into joy and darkness into light, then this book may well change your life.
I highly recommend this book to all--to pastors, parents and counsellors working with people who are struggling with anxiety and despondency, to small groups looking for a highly readable book for edifying study and spiritual growth, to anyone affected by the malaise of human life not lived to its potential. Thank you, Dr Roccas, for making such a practical and helpful book available to us all.
In my pastoral and counselling work with people, especially with young adults--and, truth be told, at the heart of my own life--I am confronted on a daily basis with the frustration and despair of our age. We are imprisoned in lives bereft of purpose, moving from anxious moment to anxious moment, haunted by the past, worried about the future. So many of us end up simply drifting through life, only vaguely aware there could be something more to it all, and consumed by the guilt that we are not actually doing anything about it. When into this toxic mix we mindlessly pour the prescriptions of faith--directives to trust in God, to pray, to turn from vices to virtues--these just end up weighing us down all the more; they become yet more things we never quite get around to doing.
What Dr Nicole Roccas has done in this book is remarkable. She cuts through our modern illusions and shows the perennial character of so many of our contemporary paradoxes and problems. Drawing on the wisdom of early church fathers and Orthodox Christian tradition, she guides us into profoundly practical advice to recover something that is at once awe-inspiring and simple, the "kairos" opportunity of the present moment, our capacity to lean into the "now" and respond fully to God, and thereby becoming fulfilled (and fully-filled) human beings.
If you've ever been sad and been told to pray about it, but didn't know where to begin--if you've ever struggled or suffered and been told to have faith, but didn't think you had the capacity to conjure that up--if you've ever wondered how Christianity can really represent the transformation of sorrow into joy and darkness into light, then this book may well change your life.
I highly recommend this book to all--to pastors, parents and counsellors working with people who are struggling with anxiety and despondency, to small groups looking for a highly readable book for edifying study and spiritual growth, to anyone affected by the malaise of human life not lived to its potential. Thank you, Dr Roccas, for making such a practical and helpful book available to us all.
April 19, 2025
A beautiful book, and one that everyone should read.
January 17, 2018
A fine contribution by Roccas to the Orthodox conversation.
Though Roccas is an accomplished scholar, this is not a scholarly text. That is largely to the good, but there are a few moments where a bit more rigour and exactitude might be helpful. This is true particularly in Roccas’ approach to despondency (acedia) in the early chapters; her definition of the concept is something of a mixture between modern and ancient approaches that does not always do full justice to either, and her discussion of its relationship to clinical depression is rather slack—it may have been better to leave this out entirely. I also must admit I did not connect deeply to the section on humour late in the book. I can’t disagree with anything Roccas says here, but it felt a little less incisive than other sections; humour is a very idiosyncratic phenomenon and Roccas’ approach might feel foreign to many (it did to me).
So much for my criticisms. Much to praise here. When talking about time, in particular, Roccas’ expertise and insight really shine through. These are the best sections of the book. Roccas explores the spiritual significance of time with elan and rich insight. Chapter 3, which offers something of a spiritual/theological definition of time, is alone worth the purchase. The book is also very strong on the topic of “counter-statement,” a spiritual technique that well deserves some revival and is given solid treatment here. I also enjoyed the discussions of rumination, and gratefulness (very good here), and many of the bits of practical advice. The concluion is well-wrought and deeply inspiring.
My thanks to Dr Roccas for this one. Many of her insights will (God willing) be permanent fixtures in my own spiritual life.
Though Roccas is an accomplished scholar, this is not a scholarly text. That is largely to the good, but there are a few moments where a bit more rigour and exactitude might be helpful. This is true particularly in Roccas’ approach to despondency (acedia) in the early chapters; her definition of the concept is something of a mixture between modern and ancient approaches that does not always do full justice to either, and her discussion of its relationship to clinical depression is rather slack—it may have been better to leave this out entirely. I also must admit I did not connect deeply to the section on humour late in the book. I can’t disagree with anything Roccas says here, but it felt a little less incisive than other sections; humour is a very idiosyncratic phenomenon and Roccas’ approach might feel foreign to many (it did to me).
So much for my criticisms. Much to praise here. When talking about time, in particular, Roccas’ expertise and insight really shine through. These are the best sections of the book. Roccas explores the spiritual significance of time with elan and rich insight. Chapter 3, which offers something of a spiritual/theological definition of time, is alone worth the purchase. The book is also very strong on the topic of “counter-statement,” a spiritual technique that well deserves some revival and is given solid treatment here. I also enjoyed the discussions of rumination, and gratefulness (very good here), and many of the bits of practical advice. The concluion is well-wrought and deeply inspiring.
My thanks to Dr Roccas for this one. Many of her insights will (God willing) be permanent fixtures in my own spiritual life.
January 15, 2018
I was so excited to get a review copy of Time and Despondency because that meant I didn’t have until January to read it :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and learned a lot about myself, human nature, and how the present moment is where we can know Christ and his Resurrection.
Despondency might seem like a big, abstract subject, but Nicole makes it concrete and personal through her abundant (often brilliant) metaphors and warm writing style.
She also gives many practical, even lighthearted, suggestions to help us get out of the prison of despondency and live in the present of our everyday lives.
It’s a wonderful book, and I highly recommend it!
P.S. Time and Despondency also includes a discussion guide and the questions are illuminating—the kinds of questions that will have your small group or Bible study really engaged with each other, or that will give you a lot to journal about.
Despondency might seem like a big, abstract subject, but Nicole makes it concrete and personal through her abundant (often brilliant) metaphors and warm writing style.
She also gives many practical, even lighthearted, suggestions to help us get out of the prison of despondency and live in the present of our everyday lives.
It’s a wonderful book, and I highly recommend it!
P.S. Time and Despondency also includes a discussion guide and the questions are illuminating—the kinds of questions that will have your small group or Bible study really engaged with each other, or that will give you a lot to journal about.
January 1, 2020
I don't read Christian self-help or devotional books. Most of them are either shallow or poorly written (so many would do more good summarized into a single page) or downright careless. I've dogeared almost every page of Time & Despondency, underlined or otherwise marked several dozen passages, and will be revisiting it as often as I can. Roccas is a true scholar and a good thinker, who, like a few other writers in Christian history, genuinely understands human nature, especially the struggle with existential anxiety and depression. This will be one of the centerpieces, for me, of the path through/with death anxiety.
November 25, 2023
A lot of this book is really good. Nicole does a really good job of bringing together the best Orthodox writings about acedia and despondency, and I found that a lot of them resonated with me and feelings I couldn't articulate before. However, some parts of the book were almost too casual for my liking. Not that I don't appreciate it being written from a personal perspective, but stuff like "my editor told me to add this section so here it is" felt a bit odd to me.
August 2, 2022
Is it possible to give a book more than 5 stars?! This book challenged me and gave me hope and pushed me into places I have been avoiding. It has become a book that I will read many times over.
did-not-finish
January 16, 2019DNF at 31%
Not without its good points, but this is the sort of book that should have been a rather more concise essay.
Not without its good points, but this is the sort of book that should have been a rather more concise essay.
May 11, 2019
I heard so much about this book and decided it was time to read it myself. It serves as both an excellent overview of the topic of despondency, or "acedia," covering some of the key modern works (Kathleen Norris, "Acedia and Me" https://amzn.to/2vOz5O7 and "The Noonday Devil" by Dom Jean-Charles Nault O.S.B. https://amzn.to/2Hijvkt) as well as important writings of the Early Church Fathers. I also appreciated how she made it very clear that she takes this topic from an historical and theological perspective, staying away from any incomplete statements about clinical depression, which, while it might overlap with despondency, must still be considered from a clinical perspective as well (however, I am sure that if Nicole Roccas were to investigate this topic from a clinical perspective, she would do a just as thorough and thoughtful job with it).
However, the book is also very practical, with each section followed by a set of "stepping stones" to help readers practice some of the topics she addresses. One of my favorite sections is where she overviews Evagrius of Pontus' Antirrhaªtikos ("Talking Back": https://amzn.to/2YjUbA7), which is on my bookshelf waiting to be read - now it will be. This is an extremely practical way of addressing despondent thoughts, and while I am certainly familiar with arrow prayers as a way of dealing with them, Antirrhatikos takes this a step further, equipping us with the verses and statements of truth that answer specific "noonday demons" or thoughts (logismoi).
I appreciated Roccas' authenticity - she shares sometimes painful stories of her own foibles, reassuring us that she is not speaking from a pedestal but from a place of struggling with despondency with us, her readers. I listened to the audio book version of this book, and enjoyed listening to the author narrate it, but I will be buying the hard copy as well because this is a book I will be returning to often.
However, the book is also very practical, with each section followed by a set of "stepping stones" to help readers practice some of the topics she addresses. One of my favorite sections is where she overviews Evagrius of Pontus' Antirrhaªtikos ("Talking Back": https://amzn.to/2YjUbA7), which is on my bookshelf waiting to be read - now it will be. This is an extremely practical way of addressing despondent thoughts, and while I am certainly familiar with arrow prayers as a way of dealing with them, Antirrhatikos takes this a step further, equipping us with the verses and statements of truth that answer specific "noonday demons" or thoughts (logismoi).
I appreciated Roccas' authenticity - she shares sometimes painful stories of her own foibles, reassuring us that she is not speaking from a pedestal but from a place of struggling with despondency with us, her readers. I listened to the audio book version of this book, and enjoyed listening to the author narrate it, but I will be buying the hard copy as well because this is a book I will be returning to often.
May 23, 2018
Well written and worth reading for those who suffer from the spiritual disease of despondency or who know others who do. Probably a good read for those who are trying to get a better grasp on the Orthodox sacrament of confession.
November 21, 2020
“...let us have the courage to profess with St. Paul that today is the day of salvation—not two thousand years ago, not happily ever after in heaven, not when we finally manage to get ourselves sorted out, but today. And in ten years, it will still be today. And every year and day and moment hereafter, from now until ‘the last syllable of recorded time,’ it will still be the today of salvation.”
Not sure the last time a book had such an impact, made such a monumental shift in and on my life. Thank you, Nicole! A book I needed, but didn’t deserve, and am so grateful to have received.
Not sure the last time a book had such an impact, made such a monumental shift in and on my life. Thank you, Nicole! A book I needed, but didn’t deserve, and am so grateful to have received.
February 6, 2021
A wonderful work! I was expecting good (I am allergic to anything that smells of self-help) but Dr. Roccas exceeded even that expectation. I can see this work helping many. I especially like tying acedia to time and how we can stunt the former by redeeming the latter.
May 24, 2019
This is a book I'll come back to time and again.
Read
March 14, 2021This is one of the more challenging reviews I've attempted to write in awhile. The author has written a solid book on despondency, a topic that is not written about as often as it deserves, and explores its connection with time. Many reviews have already attested to the value of this book, so I'd like to address a different aspect of the work which I have not seen covered. Specifically, I'm concerned that this work is neither trauma informed, nor do I remember any statement acknowledging this absence. (Please correct me if my memory has failed me.)
Most books written by or for Christians aren't trauma informed, so why pick on this book? Seems a bit unfair, or even nit-picky, right? Setting aside my belief that this is a general failing of the Christian book market as a whole--writing to a non-traumatized default is usually ignorance of how many people deal with some form of trauma, or belief that engaging in spiritual practices will always be enough to heal from trauma--the topics of time, specifically the ability to remain in the present, and despondency are very much intertwined with the experience of the trauma survivor. As such, if a person struggling with the impact of trauma picks up a book like this, recognizing the topics as important to their struggle, they are not going to find the kind of soul care that may be needed to facilitate healing.
Again, the author didn't set out to write a book for people with trauma, so it's not a failing on her part. But I am concerned that the unaware reader with trauma will mistake for sin in their lives--intolerance for experiencing the present--what is actually a neurobiological process designed to both protect a person and sound the alarm bells that they are not safe and well. A person with trauma has very different needs than those without it (particularly if they are also neurodiverse, which increases the odds of trauma reactions significantly), and especially when being challenged on how we live our lives. The risk is retraumatization or worsening disconnection from their bodies and the present without the right kind of care. And if the person has experienced trauma in a religious context, there is further reason for concern.
This is where I wish there was a warning or acknowledgement of the differences at the start of the book. Or even a thread throughout, if the author had sufficient trauma informed training to weave it in, that made room for the reality of despondency and difficulty with the present for those who are not only Christians in need of a waking or changes in their spiritual practice.
So, am I saying don't read this book? That it will traumatize you? No, not at all. I'm sending up an alert for those who live with trauma to be gentle with yourself as you read, and maybe read it with someone who can help you sort out the spiritual gold from points that don't fit your situation. These are valuable topics to explore, but some of us need a little extra care while navigating them.
********
If you'd like to learn a bit more about trauma, here are a few entry points:
- Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy << A great starting point for those who prefer a Christian author and context.
- The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity << A good introduction to the long term effects of childhood adversity.
- In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness << Especially relevant if trauma is held in the body and not so much in the mind. Ex: ongoing anxiety and bodily reactions after a car accident.
- My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts << An excellent book for recognizing what we carry in our bodies, but then also going beyond that to community/cultural context and experience.
- The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma << This book can be too much for some trauma survivors, but it's a good intro for everyone else.
Most books written by or for Christians aren't trauma informed, so why pick on this book? Seems a bit unfair, or even nit-picky, right? Setting aside my belief that this is a general failing of the Christian book market as a whole--writing to a non-traumatized default is usually ignorance of how many people deal with some form of trauma, or belief that engaging in spiritual practices will always be enough to heal from trauma--the topics of time, specifically the ability to remain in the present, and despondency are very much intertwined with the experience of the trauma survivor. As such, if a person struggling with the impact of trauma picks up a book like this, recognizing the topics as important to their struggle, they are not going to find the kind of soul care that may be needed to facilitate healing.
Again, the author didn't set out to write a book for people with trauma, so it's not a failing on her part. But I am concerned that the unaware reader with trauma will mistake for sin in their lives--intolerance for experiencing the present--what is actually a neurobiological process designed to both protect a person and sound the alarm bells that they are not safe and well. A person with trauma has very different needs than those without it (particularly if they are also neurodiverse, which increases the odds of trauma reactions significantly), and especially when being challenged on how we live our lives. The risk is retraumatization or worsening disconnection from their bodies and the present without the right kind of care. And if the person has experienced trauma in a religious context, there is further reason for concern.
This is where I wish there was a warning or acknowledgement of the differences at the start of the book. Or even a thread throughout, if the author had sufficient trauma informed training to weave it in, that made room for the reality of despondency and difficulty with the present for those who are not only Christians in need of a waking or changes in their spiritual practice.
So, am I saying don't read this book? That it will traumatize you? No, not at all. I'm sending up an alert for those who live with trauma to be gentle with yourself as you read, and maybe read it with someone who can help you sort out the spiritual gold from points that don't fit your situation. These are valuable topics to explore, but some of us need a little extra care while navigating them.
********
If you'd like to learn a bit more about trauma, here are a few entry points:
- Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy << A great starting point for those who prefer a Christian author and context.
- The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity << A good introduction to the long term effects of childhood adversity.
- In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness << Especially relevant if trauma is held in the body and not so much in the mind. Ex: ongoing anxiety and bodily reactions after a car accident.
- My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts << An excellent book for recognizing what we carry in our bodies, but then also going beyond that to community/cultural context and experience.
- The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma << This book can be too much for some trauma survivors, but it's a good intro for everyone else.
June 16, 2022
Not a difficult read but a good one to take in bite size chunks and ponder the truths and how to apply them to everyday life.
May 8, 2023
This book was deep, helpful, full of wisdom, challenging and encouraging. Reading it stretched my thinking.
January 17, 2018
Some would say it's better to go to the original sources, such as reading Evagrius, et al, directly. After reading Dr. Roccas's book, I quickly loaded up with the reference materials she used and recommended. However, the riches of these original works would not have been as accessible to me had she not taken us on her personal journey through despondency.
This is more than a masterfully written book. A friend's sharing it with me will prove to have been a watershed event for me. Its reading has genuinely been a supreme Kairos moment in my life.
I cannot say that everyone reading this will receive the same impact. Only someone who is desperately drowning in despondency will gasp with shock and gratitude when this unexpected life preserver is tossed their way. Yet, I think almost any human being reading this book will resonate with the struggle against despondency, and rejoice with the hope and overcoming perspectives she shares.
Thank you, Dr. Nicole Rocca! You have already saved my life in the present! :)
This is more than a masterfully written book. A friend's sharing it with me will prove to have been a watershed event for me. Its reading has genuinely been a supreme Kairos moment in my life.
I cannot say that everyone reading this will receive the same impact. Only someone who is desperately drowning in despondency will gasp with shock and gratitude when this unexpected life preserver is tossed their way. Yet, I think almost any human being reading this book will resonate with the struggle against despondency, and rejoice with the hope and overcoming perspectives she shares.
Thank you, Dr. Nicole Rocca! You have already saved my life in the present! :)
March 12, 2018
This book is incredible, delving into Despondency, quoting everyone from Evagrius, Augustine and Wendell Berry. This is a book I hope to read every Lent.... There is so much depth to it.
December 19, 2018
I think this is a modern classic of Orthodox thought. Dr. Roccas covers the little covered area of despondency, a disease that plagues many men and women in our modern, secular age (myself included). The description of despondency relies on patristic and contemporary sources, and her remedies for it are unique, thoughtful, and deeply personal. Many passages had me contemplating not only my life and actions, but particular nuances and passages of scripture.
I highly recommend this book and will return to it again and again over the years (God-willing!)
I highly recommend this book and will return to it again and again over the years (God-willing!)
May 27, 2023
Quotes:
"behind the symptoms of despondency - behind even the stubborn apathy - is pain. It is the pain of existing in a world that has become haunted by impermanence and marred by fragmentation. We cease caring once the act of caring wounds us or becomes too heavy a burden to bear. The restlessness, the rumination, the distraction - they crop up to fill the empty spaces within us where meaningful concern and effort once dwelled."
"Anger is a covering for our pain; we stop caring when we are wounded by the laceration of existence - whether that comes in the form of sadness, fear, disappointment, or shame. The human condition - the condition of bearing the image of God in a world of brokenness - could be summed up as learning to live (and love) in the midst of pain, learning to dwell where there is shame, toil, and adversity."
"To turn inward toward ourselves and our sins is to fall into our own proverbial slough of despond. In this mode of being, it is not so much that we waste time as that we turn time into a prison, enslaving us to the worst and most insular tendencies in ourselves. Eventually, we (like the fabled Narcissus) become virtually incapable of true relationship - with God or anyone else."
"Second chances are powerful and life-giving because they allow us to recover time that has been lost, or at least time we thought was lost. They lend us new eyes to envision a more spacious future, a possibility that may not have been available to us before we were given a second chance. In relationships, second chances occur only once in a while, but in time, they are granted perpetually. Every moment that trickles forth from the reservoir of time is a new, fresh possibility that wasn't there before. Yet it may not always appear that way. Instead of the reservoir of second chances, time may seem rather like the giver of more of the same - more of the same old drudgery, the same old mistakes, the same old hurts. We must cling to the knowledge, though, that time doesn't keep score or award us based on merit; it dishes out yet another moment just as ripe with possibility as the last, regardless of how many similar moments we've squandered before."
"However often we may fall backward in this life, time remains the path waiting and willing to press us forward."
"Whatever the present looks like at any given moment, there are only two possible ways of responding to it: to enter or exit it, to respond or despond. To enter the present is to surrender with thanksgiving to the time and circumstances God has placed before us, to abide in God's presence in time and space. To exit, by contrast, is to reject this gift - really, to reject reality. Despondency begins when we step away from the present and fashion reality on our own terms."
"To give anything our best - most of all prayer - means facing our inadequacy. It means facing the reality that our attempts will be messier and more circuitous than we'd like to think. Also, it means accepting that prayer does not boil down to some black and white measurement of success versus failure - love, after all, keeps no record of wrongs. If anything, success (if it can be called that) in prayer, as in any relationship, is about coming back after we've screwed up, and continuing to come back."
"Foul-smelling caves aside, we have other kinds of cells we long to escape. They are constructed not of rock or mold, but of the unseen threads hemming us into relationships, tasks, expectations, obligations, unmet desires, and routines. Such threads, while not prone to undue moisture, are subject to their own kind of staleness, which tempts us to cross to the other side of the street, where the grass seems always greener and the air always cleaner. We may even be convinced that such a relocation would be the healthy thing to do. After all, a bit of the fresh air never did anyone any harm. Yet perhaps the novelty we seek can come by exercising our freedom to stay where we are. 'For I have Chosen It.' Too often, we equate choice and freedom with abrupt change, forgetting we can also exercise free will by accepting, surrendering, or submitting to our circumstances. In the face of the tedium I long to escape from, I can choose to stay."
"I frequently remind myself of whenever trying to make changes in my life: resist the pull to make (or fantasize about making) too many improvements at once. As Evagrius reminds us, healing emerges from doing things 'at the proper time and with moderation,' not impulsively or excessively."
"Let's face it: healing is not easy. It's fine if someone (ideally ourselves) can fix us, but our pride will sneak to our defense the moment healing threatens the status quo. Healing entails opening rather than closing ourselves, stretching rather than cowering, engaging rather than silencing, surrendering rather than controlling. And it almost always brings our skeletons out of the closet."
"In another sense, healing is not a matter of gaining something new but of letting go of what has been distorted - having the courage to allow the scales to fall from our eyes so we may see and be seen by the Lover of our souls."
"behind the symptoms of despondency - behind even the stubborn apathy - is pain. It is the pain of existing in a world that has become haunted by impermanence and marred by fragmentation. We cease caring once the act of caring wounds us or becomes too heavy a burden to bear. The restlessness, the rumination, the distraction - they crop up to fill the empty spaces within us where meaningful concern and effort once dwelled."
"Anger is a covering for our pain; we stop caring when we are wounded by the laceration of existence - whether that comes in the form of sadness, fear, disappointment, or shame. The human condition - the condition of bearing the image of God in a world of brokenness - could be summed up as learning to live (and love) in the midst of pain, learning to dwell where there is shame, toil, and adversity."
"To turn inward toward ourselves and our sins is to fall into our own proverbial slough of despond. In this mode of being, it is not so much that we waste time as that we turn time into a prison, enslaving us to the worst and most insular tendencies in ourselves. Eventually, we (like the fabled Narcissus) become virtually incapable of true relationship - with God or anyone else."
"Second chances are powerful and life-giving because they allow us to recover time that has been lost, or at least time we thought was lost. They lend us new eyes to envision a more spacious future, a possibility that may not have been available to us before we were given a second chance. In relationships, second chances occur only once in a while, but in time, they are granted perpetually. Every moment that trickles forth from the reservoir of time is a new, fresh possibility that wasn't there before. Yet it may not always appear that way. Instead of the reservoir of second chances, time may seem rather like the giver of more of the same - more of the same old drudgery, the same old mistakes, the same old hurts. We must cling to the knowledge, though, that time doesn't keep score or award us based on merit; it dishes out yet another moment just as ripe with possibility as the last, regardless of how many similar moments we've squandered before."
"However often we may fall backward in this life, time remains the path waiting and willing to press us forward."
"Whatever the present looks like at any given moment, there are only two possible ways of responding to it: to enter or exit it, to respond or despond. To enter the present is to surrender with thanksgiving to the time and circumstances God has placed before us, to abide in God's presence in time and space. To exit, by contrast, is to reject this gift - really, to reject reality. Despondency begins when we step away from the present and fashion reality on our own terms."
"To give anything our best - most of all prayer - means facing our inadequacy. It means facing the reality that our attempts will be messier and more circuitous than we'd like to think. Also, it means accepting that prayer does not boil down to some black and white measurement of success versus failure - love, after all, keeps no record of wrongs. If anything, success (if it can be called that) in prayer, as in any relationship, is about coming back after we've screwed up, and continuing to come back."
"Foul-smelling caves aside, we have other kinds of cells we long to escape. They are constructed not of rock or mold, but of the unseen threads hemming us into relationships, tasks, expectations, obligations, unmet desires, and routines. Such threads, while not prone to undue moisture, are subject to their own kind of staleness, which tempts us to cross to the other side of the street, where the grass seems always greener and the air always cleaner. We may even be convinced that such a relocation would be the healthy thing to do. After all, a bit of the fresh air never did anyone any harm. Yet perhaps the novelty we seek can come by exercising our freedom to stay where we are. 'For I have Chosen It.' Too often, we equate choice and freedom with abrupt change, forgetting we can also exercise free will by accepting, surrendering, or submitting to our circumstances. In the face of the tedium I long to escape from, I can choose to stay."
"I frequently remind myself of whenever trying to make changes in my life: resist the pull to make (or fantasize about making) too many improvements at once. As Evagrius reminds us, healing emerges from doing things 'at the proper time and with moderation,' not impulsively or excessively."
"Let's face it: healing is not easy. It's fine if someone (ideally ourselves) can fix us, but our pride will sneak to our defense the moment healing threatens the status quo. Healing entails opening rather than closing ourselves, stretching rather than cowering, engaging rather than silencing, surrendering rather than controlling. And it almost always brings our skeletons out of the closet."
"In another sense, healing is not a matter of gaining something new but of letting go of what has been distorted - having the courage to allow the scales to fall from our eyes so we may see and be seen by the Lover of our souls."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 12, 2021
I’m often if not always attended by acedia (spiritual carelessness, despondency), something I never felt as a child but exponentially developed in adolescence with greater attention to my own (and others’) human failure, what I perceived as this lack of having time enough to perfect ourselves, our action-in-being. I’m often caught wondering how this developed for me so rapidly, so crushingly, and with such ferocity. Much of this problem has something to do with how we perceive time socioculturally in the West; many have observed this in recent literature and it’s not specific to the West but does feel endemic, as we’ve globalized much in our imperial image. The other half of this is my own incomprehensibility of eternity in the Christian life, an incomprehensibility shared by most people religious or not. The vast majority of people see eternity as quantitative (not qualitative) and therefore useless, an unthinkable prolongation that in fact becomes more horrifying and troublesome as one considers it linearly. Most people do not contemplate at the metaphysical level that God simply is Eternity: fullness of personhood in the fulfillment of time (He just is kairos, AKA, time suffused by grace-in-opportunity rather than futility). This call and response from us to God and from God to us in the present is key.
The author deftly exposes the various shades and shadows of despondency in ancient and contemporary life and then points to prayer, an absolute moment of contact with Eternity, God’s eternal presence, as a crucial antidote. I still have some chapters left to read here, but I’ve been healed in part by the clear reflection and attention to the void of this experience, one that, for me, is nearly impossible to express to others, and thus is kept to myself. I found it odd and almost funny how the author calls back to a time where monastics, caught by acedia, whiled their time away by listlessly “staring at the sun”, something I’ve literally found myself doing during quarantine, lol. It’s comforting to know that our listlessness, as overwhelming as it is, is not simply a modern condition but a spiritual condition found throughout history. I worry often that acedia will only virally promulgate as time goes on, and this is yet another facet of the whole thing. To know the ancient ones have dealt with the same darkness and even defeated it in small measure is a victory worth rehearsing.
The author deftly exposes the various shades and shadows of despondency in ancient and contemporary life and then points to prayer, an absolute moment of contact with Eternity, God’s eternal presence, as a crucial antidote. I still have some chapters left to read here, but I’ve been healed in part by the clear reflection and attention to the void of this experience, one that, for me, is nearly impossible to express to others, and thus is kept to myself. I found it odd and almost funny how the author calls back to a time where monastics, caught by acedia, whiled their time away by listlessly “staring at the sun”, something I’ve literally found myself doing during quarantine, lol. It’s comforting to know that our listlessness, as overwhelming as it is, is not simply a modern condition but a spiritual condition found throughout history. I worry often that acedia will only virally promulgate as time goes on, and this is yet another facet of the whole thing. To know the ancient ones have dealt with the same darkness and even defeated it in small measure is a victory worth rehearsing.
December 23, 2023
A learned, wholehearted book that I felt was limited by its writing. Roccas's research is extensive, her tone is winsome, and her advice is clear-sighted.
The back cover blurb calls the book a "synthesis of ancient theology, spiritual memoir, and self-help practicality." I thought it was all of those things save synthesis. Too many genres at once, a garment with too many seams showing. The book reads as an extended blog post (which makes sense, as Roccas is a successful blogger and a podcaster). Unfortunately, I felt the book would work better as blog posts. I loved the first couple chapters, but I began to tire out halfway through. Alas, perhaps a sign of my own acedia ;)
I had similar sentiments about Liturgy of the Ordinary, another strong book that fell flat for me. There's also a particular brand of millennial humor--epitomized by jokes about coffee dependency and cute animal video addiction--that runs through both books and puts me in an indefensibly bad mood. Says more about me than the books, though.
I would recommend this book to many people! There is much good in it. Three stars reflects my preferences more than the quality of the book. I imagine acedia will become a well-worn topic in churches going forward (I've heard some thinkers identify it as "the sin of a digital age), so kudos to Roccas for writing thoughtfully about it in 2018.
The back cover blurb calls the book a "synthesis of ancient theology, spiritual memoir, and self-help practicality." I thought it was all of those things save synthesis. Too many genres at once, a garment with too many seams showing. The book reads as an extended blog post (which makes sense, as Roccas is a successful blogger and a podcaster). Unfortunately, I felt the book would work better as blog posts. I loved the first couple chapters, but I began to tire out halfway through. Alas, perhaps a sign of my own acedia ;)
I had similar sentiments about Liturgy of the Ordinary, another strong book that fell flat for me. There's also a particular brand of millennial humor--epitomized by jokes about coffee dependency and cute animal video addiction--that runs through both books and puts me in an indefensibly bad mood. Says more about me than the books, though.
I would recommend this book to many people! There is much good in it. Three stars reflects my preferences more than the quality of the book. I imagine acedia will become a well-worn topic in churches going forward (I've heard some thinkers identify it as "the sin of a digital age), so kudos to Roccas for writing thoughtfully about it in 2018.
June 23, 2023
typo: p. 19 - “T sections” should be “two sections”
Notes:
+ Pattern of sin = thought -> consent -> action (commission or omission)
Potent Quotables:
The moments we spend grumbling about God or our fellow man are moments we failed to act - we failed to love or respond to love.
The liturgies of the Orthodox Church are punctuated countless times by a simple supplication: " Lord, have mercy.” To modern ears, such a prayer may sound stifling and self-diminishing: is God really so vengeful we must beg His forbearance at every turn? But in orthodox conceptions, mercy is the balm of salvation, and to ask it of God affirms that He is merciful and loving in the first place. In fact, to make any deep request of anyone is to stand naked and defenseless before that person. We will pray “Lord, have mercy” hundreds of thousands of times over the course of our lives, because that's how many times it takes to relearn how to stand that way before our Creator. Redundant as it seems, worship in the liturgy turns time into a pilgrimage back - not back to our shame and feebleness, but through our feebleness and back to engagement, back to communion, back to Christ, one Kyrie eleison at a time.
November 3, 2020
Dr. Nicole Roccas’ Time and Despondency is a refreshing look at how our lived experiences intersect with the intangible concept of “time”. Read by the author, this was an enjoyable and thought provoking text. Frequently citing both church fathers and more modern monastic sources, Dr. Roccas helps frame their “timeless” advice within the lens of our modern lives. I was particularly impressed by the practical advice, including actionable steps we can take to more correctly experience time as God intended. The advice presented is both actionable, and backed up by the sayings of Orthodox hierarchs and monastics. While we may not all be called to a monastic life governed by the services of the hours, we are all called to live our vocations within the vocations to which God has called us. Time and Despondency offers a thorough analysis and toolbox for steadily, one moment at a time, turning our lives towards Christ.
January 27, 2020
This was so, so, so, so good. I always knew I would like this book whenever I finally got to it because time and despondency are both things I struggle with in my Orthodox faith. I struggle with feeling like I'm losing time, with boredom during prayer, with trying to escape the present, etc etc. But I did not expect this book to hit me just as hard as it did. The reflections were so profound and beautiful and relatable, but they were paired with fantastic practical truths! I listened to this on audiobook, which I highly recommend because Nicole's voice is like a lullaby. Her podcast is the same way. However, I definitely need to get a physical copy so I can underline all of my favorite quotes and post them everywhere! Definitely one of my favorite Orthodox books I've read!
March 2, 2021
This book started with a good overview of the concept of despondency as taught by several eastern church fathers. I think it provided a good framework for differentiating between spiritual illnesses (like despondency) and clinical illnesses (like depression and anxiety). The second half of the book contained a helpful introduction to some orthodox practice and thought on prayer and ways to fight and escape despondency. This book didn’t supply anything earth shattering, but I don’t think that was the author’s intent and it was nonetheless a good book.
April 16, 2019
This is an excellent book regarding a difficult topic. The free downloadable discussion guide (available at the Ancient Faith Store) provides an excellent framework for reading through this book. There are deep concepts here but it is presented in a way that is understandable. The early church Gathers have a great deal to teach us and to help us understand scripture. Highly recommended. A must read for anyone who has ever felt discouraged in their faith.
May 19, 2020
I had a lot to learn from this book on the comme toon between God and humanity and how it functions in a temporal context. It also introduced me to Evagrius and his book on battling thoughts.
À friend told me it can cause harm in the way in which it portrays sin as illness, which renders you passive before your own behaviour. I can see how it can harm those who feel like fighting a losing battle.
À friend told me it can cause harm in the way in which it portrays sin as illness, which renders you passive before your own behaviour. I can see how it can harm those who feel like fighting a losing battle.
August 18, 2018
The concepts in this book were not new to me, but the way in which they were presented was like a breath of fresh air. I come away from the book encouraged and inspired, and most of all aware of this moment, right now, and the intersection of time and eternity present within each moment. I pray I may continue in this awareness.
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