First Person Plural: My Life as a Multiple

by Cameron West

A Note from Dr. Cameron West

... First of all, for those of you who have read First Person Plural, thank you. Rikki, Kyle, and I have been very moved by the kind words many of you have sent, and for the stories some of you have shared about overcoming your own challenges.

I'd like to share something with you that Leonardo da Vinci wrote, which I think of as "Leonardo's Rule." He said, "Every object yields to effort." I remind myself of that every day, and when I'm having a difficult time, Rikki reminds me that this rule applies not only to the obstacles "out there," but to the more important ones-the ones we face in our own minds. Rikki lives by Leonardo's Rule; it comes to her naturally. Even though they are Leonardo's words, it is Rikki's actions that guide me and inspire me to work toward becoming a healthier and better person.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Memoir, Mental Health, Biography, Mental Illness, Autobiography

368 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cameron West is not a great author, but his life makes for a great story. First Person Plural tells the autobiographical tale of a man coming to grips with his multiple personalities. The narrative overflows with revelations and complex interplay. And, despite moving back-and-forth in time, the progression of scenes proves logical and emotionally effective. I felt West's shock as he learned the extent of his other selves and the chilling events that may have created them.

And while the spotlight remains on Cameron's deeper psychology, he also weaves in elements of everyday life. You witness West's wife and son react to his struggles (and try to love him despite those struggles) but you also get a sense of their lives and interests. This story gains from being true because truth necessitates these details.

West's greatest weakness is his awkward wordplay. In particular, he owns a fascination with ill-conceived metaphors. The most prominent example: "Denial is a pointy rake that slices a jagged music stall into your naked back and plays its screeching, crimson melody over and over and over until you die." If you can handle these grandiose turns-of-phrase, this is a journey well worth taking.

Edited in September of 2015, then again in June of 2025

[Soraya Putri Aprilla · Rating 3 out of 5]

True story about the life of a man who had 24 personalities, Cameron West. The disease is called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). He suffered traumatic events in his childhood. He got sexually abused by his mother and grandmother. But he was lucky, he had a wife and children who accompanied. Strengthened his spirit for struggling in creating comfortable place for his personalities. Cameron West thought he was crazy. But, with the help from doctors and therapists he accepted his illness. Even, Cameron West holds a doctorate in psychology. Cameron West wrote a dissertation based on suffering DID experience. He managed to control his subordinates (personalities). When they should appear. His wife and son understand about his condition. His life feels lighter. He could write down his experiences in this book. Giving a lesson that child sexual abuse is something evil and cruel. We must protect children from sexual abuse. That's our duty!

[Rocio Voncina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Titulo: Mis multiples personalidades
Autor: Cameron West
Motivo de lectura: #PopSugarReadingChallenge2023
Lectura / Relectura: Relectura
Mi edicion: Tapa blanda, 288 paginas, Plaza & Janes
Puntuacion: 5/5

..Los muros de mi pena temblaron y se estremecieron, y las viejas reliquias de la angustia se tambalearon y cayeron de sus clavos y estantes, haciendose añicos en el suelo. El suelo cedio, los cimientos se resquebrajaron, el cemento se agrieto y la tierra se abrió dando paso a los borbotones de lava que envolvieron y calcinaron las ruinas de mi corazon y mi mente..

Hay tematicas que encuentro muy dificil de leer, y sin dudas el abuso infantil es una de ellas. Si hablamos de ficcion, directamente no me gusta porque siento que muchas veces es un elemento que se usa desde el morbo absoluto y realmente dentro de la ficcion considero innecesario usar esa tematica.
Pero cuando hablamos de no ficcion (como es el caso de este libro), el leer el testimonio de sobrevivientes es catartico para ellos, para mi, para todos.

Este caso es una relectura para mi, necesitaba cumplir con una premisa de un desafio de lectura donde pedian una relectura de un libro que leiste hace mas de 10 años, recorriendo mi biblioteca vi este libro, y no dude que este seria mi relectura.

El autor de este libro es Cameron West, un hombre exitoso que en apariencia no presenta ningun problema serio. Esta felizmente casado con Rikki West, y tienen un hijo pequeño llamado Kyle West.
Este libro es el testimonio de Cameron en primera persona, donde vemos su descenso al infierno de la locura, de la mano de 24 personalidades (si, Cameron desarrollo un trastorno de disociacion, antiguamente conocido como trastorno de la personalidad multiple). Cameron no solo debe lidiar con su trastorno, sino tambien con sus temores personales, y con la presion familiar por parte de su esposa.


Cameron West nacio en Chicago (USA) en el año 1955. De adulto fue diagnosticado con un trastorno de disociacion. Mientras lidiaba con su condicion entre internaciones estudio una licenciatura en psicologia y hoy en dia da charlas para concientizar a las personas sobre este trastorno.

..Toda mi vida me he sentido desconectado de la mayoria de las personas. Desde siempre, que yo recuerde, he evitado mirar demasiado fijamente a los ojos de los demas, porque era de temer que, si ellos me miraban a mi, si miraban con profundidad suficiente, verian mi alma y descubririan que estaba vacia.

Una de las primeras señales que note es el nulo recuerdo que Cameron tenia sobre su niñez. Las personas que no pueden recordar su niñez tienen un alto porcentaje de probabilidad de haber pasado por traumas severos. Con el tiempo Cameron comenzara a recordar a traves de la manifestacion de sus personalidades a modo de flashbacks. Es desgarrador el testimonio, leer este libro te rompe el corazon. Cameron es la prueba viviente que el daño perpetrado sobre niños repercute en la adultez. El abuso infantil te roba el proyecto de persona que pudiste haber sido, es aprender a caminar con un alma hecha jirones, intentando dar lo mejor de vos (a veces se logra, a veces no).

Cameron West escalo las paredes del infierno y logro tomar aire..



..y esa es la enseñanza que nos aporta Cameron. A traves de su testimonio aprendemos la importancia de reconocer que hay un problema, aceptar que ese problema existe, y prepararse para batallar (que no sera facil). Cameron es un resiliente que no se rinde. Su libro ayuda a poner sobre la mesa el asunto de la salud mental y la importancia de abordarla no desde el prejuicio o la negacion, sino mas bien de la lucha por un objetivo claro..el sentimiento de intentar sentirse bien.


Quisiera mencionar el rol de su esposa durante el diagnostico de Cameron y el tratamiento.
Rikki West es diplomada en psicologia..como es posible que no se diera cuenta de ciertas señales? Y teniendo las herramientas que tiene (debido a su diplomatura) es pesima para lidiar con el trastorno de Cameron. En todo momento lo presiona emocionalmente y en ningun momento senti realmente empatia de ella para con Cameron.

Pero una de las cosas que mas me irrito con respecto a Rikki es como ella lleva la vida sexual con Cameron. Como ya mencione Cameron es sobreviviente de abuso infantil y Rikki no respeta los tiempos de Cameron, para Rikki la vida sexual de pareja es ella subiendo a horcajadas de Cameron (sin importar como haya sido el dia de Cameron) y sin importar si Cameron disfruta de estos encuentros o no (basta con leer el capitulo 35 para darnos cuenta. Plot twist: Cameron no disfruta de estos encuentros). Que Rikki no tenga en cuenta el pasado de Cameron, como el va de internacion en internacion, lo dificil del dia a dia, el estress, la angustia. No hace falta ser un genio para saber que las personas que lidian con condiciones de salud mental el tema de la sexualidad es un asunto complejo.

Si Rikki no cuida la parte sexual de Cameron, tampoco cuida la parte emocional. Lo somete continuamente a una presion y a un terror que realmente me hizo dudar del supuesto amor de Rikki. A que me refiero con el terror? Me refiero a Andy (lean el libro y entenderan).


Volviendo a Cameron, el es la clase de persona que me genera admiracion, por su lucha, por su espiritu inquebrantable, por su mensaje esperanzador que..quizas, en algun momento, de alguna manera tendremos la oportunidad de estar bien.

..Debemos comprender que quienes han sufrido malos tratos en la infancia, y en particular las victimas de incesto, casi invariablemente padecen sensaciones de vergüenza y remordimiento que no se resuelven por el mero procedimiento de desenterrar esos recuerdos o analizar el contenido del material traumatico. Echando la culpa a otros, no se recupera el sentido de la integracion ni la paz de espiritu, ni perdonando a quienes consideramos autores de la vejacion. Solo se consigue mediante la comprension, la aceptacion y la reinvencion del yo..

[Simon Cleveland · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've always been fascinated with the intricacies of the human mind. After completing a book about a patient with schizophrenia, I picked up for a change this book about Disassociative Identity Disorder. I've to tell you, in sharp contrast to the effort it took me to comprehension the symptoms of schizophrenia, DID required challenging- no, scratch that- almost mind-bending attempt on my behalf to comprehend how the brain could invent such a mechanism to cope with abuse.

The story spans over the course of several months and examines in detail tribulation after tribulation. The author, Dr. West, paints a picture of a painful and chaotic existence, beginning with the emergence of several male and female identities and ending with his treatment. Thankfully, readers are spared the details of his childhood abuse. And who would want to read about the worst kind of sin? Of course, it must have taken a superhuman effort on his part to complete this heartbreaking book. How could one retain control of his own fragile mind when so many identities constantly struggle to burst out in the open and retain control of his body? Truthfully, it's beyond my imagination.

Despite Dr. West's attempts to keep a level of sanity within the pages, readers should be prepared for a quite confusing narrative. As identities came out, one is forced to struggle to understand the intricate emotions of each personality. There were times when I wanted to stop reading as my interest wavered during certain dialogues. At other times I was fully captivated in the story (especially towards the end when the author finally accepts the reality of his misfortune).

For someone who wasn't very familiar with this type of psychological disorder, I found the book very informative. For those interested in learning about how the disorder manifests itself in the beginning, what impact it has on a patient, and how the person learns to cope with it, pick up a copy of the book.

[Fenix Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written in an easy flow story style, this story is easy to read.
The triggering aspects as kept short and dont go into great detail,
just enough to let you know what was experienced.
It was honest about the effect on his marriage, the struggles his wife
was having as his world tumbled apart into chaos.
Real life stories of people can be more helpful when you are struggling
then a treatise by a doctor. A basic definition for DID is included
as part of a conversation.
This book as it is written is a good way for people to understand what
it is like being a multiple. Though each multiple is different of course
there are basics that all share.
It is hard to not see all the personalities as one person since you only see one body.
But they really are separate individuals with their own feeligns,thoughts, experiences,
needs, abilities, inabilities, wounds. The "body" is the house through which they interact
with the outside world in. Yet like any community that shares space they need to learn to
cooperate and respect one another, learn how to live together,and that isnt always easy.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book with not a little concern about my being able to read this book. While I can handle people's suffering and pain in fiction, I have a hard time with a true story along the same lines. But this book was impossible to put down or to let go of. I'm sure this one will be processing in my head for quite some time to come.
The pain and confusion that Cameron and his wife, Rikki, suffered is wrenching. Cameron was in his late 30s when he started exhibiting his multiples and being around the same age that struck a chord with me. How could he possibly handle finding out that everything he knew about himself wasn't really the truth? It wasn't easy or simple, but he has done an amazing job at piecing his "guys" together. His writing made me ache for each one of his alters. I'll be looking for a copy of this book for my permanent collection.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating true story about a man with Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is both fascinating and tragic. As a lover of psychology I was drawn into his disorder, what caused it and the effect on those around him.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loving the pchychological aspect

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW! If you like this kind of stuff it is extremely interesting and informative.

[Haley Trudeau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. Heart wrenching. It gives great insight to DID.

[Ashley Lau · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took me through the author's 24 different alters, going into an experience that was truly unimaginable. It was difficult to empathize with his constant changes in his personalities, but I definitely felt the internal frustration that the author felt as the alters overtook his body. In the end it was inspiring to see Cam West, the author, push through his alters and succeed in the goal of becoming a psychologist to help others who may also be suffering from dissociative identity disorder like the author himself.

[Ari Shaffer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating book for anyone wanting to explore what it is like to be a multiple from the inside. Cameron's story is poignant and frightening. He is very descriptive in his style and the context of family gives this book an interesting angle. Interesting.

[MonicaEmme · Rating 5 out of 5]

”Io sono quello che siamo.”

[Rachael]

My mom was diagnosed with DID when I was a kid, and it was so disorienting and destabilizing for me; I wanted to read this to help me process the confusion of what happened to me.

The intensity was both dysregulating for me, and also validating about what that whirlwind was like.

I'm grateful to see how the author handled parenthood, in spite of his wounds. I wish my mom could've read this 30 years ago. It definitely gives an inside look to a very complex disorder.

[Penny · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the psychological standpoint, this is an excellent book. It describes how DID manifests and why, as well as what is seen from the outside and what is felt on the inside of the person with the disorder. However, the author spends a lot of time on unnecessary and strange metaphors and similes throughout the book. It got a little bit annoying at times, but the book is worth reading.

[Kenzie Fischer · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most raw, gut- wrenching memoirs I’ve read to date. Cam bares his soul in the most unbelievable way while letting denial overtake him.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Major trigger warnings for child sexual abuse/incest.

[阿庶_噗噜噗噜pessoa · Rating 3 out of 5]

没想到这是真实存在的

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Look, the first half of this book has some scenes of abuse that are pure evil and I wish I hadn’t read. Dr. West uses metaphors like “my stomach felt like a Maytag full of old overalls” and others that are at times funny, and at other times make it hard for me to take him seriously. But I give this book four stars because it does what I believe a good book should: tells a story that no one else can tell, in a manner only that author could tell, and it tells the story so as to help others. Dr. West ends on a positive scene, with salient points on the dangers inherent in any and all treatments: that no matter who you open yourself to treatment from, “there is a risk in saying “Ahhh.””

While I can’t say I’d recommend this book for light reading, I certainly learned something and I am better for having read his story of getting through hell to find life.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was reading "The Drowning Girl" (see other review) when a waitress recommended I read this. I guess she thought a novel featuring a Schizophrenic makes me a fan of mental illness! Being I'll read anything and she gave it such a high review, I picked it up at my local library.
The plot is fascinating. Cameron West is a multiple with 24 distinct personalities. These personalities were formed as a coping mechanism for having experienced physical abuse from his grandmother and mother among others. The plot focuses on his denial at being a multiple/having DID as well as the effect this illness has on his immediate family, his wife Rikki and son Kyle. At the very basics this is a novel about relationships and if it wasn't for the fact that Cameron has so many personalities by which to create relationships (among each other and the outside world), this work may be dull.

I didn't enjoy the writing here. It was an obvious case of trying too hard with similes and metaphors floating in places unnecessary. Sure they're valuable tools of the trade, but less is more and I honestly found myself skipping over the worst of them. I also found that Cameron was trying too hard to establish himself as an awesome family man. Again, give us a scene and let it speak for itself. Less would have also been more here. It confused me initially how the story is told from Cam's perspective but then in a future chapter you find yourself looking in on Rikki's interactions beyond Cam. I appreciated the attempt at giving her struggles a voice as this is so critical to do, but perhaps Cameron should have limited things to show only those struggles that he would have found out from her via their conversations or her actions with him directly. It would have been more appropriate and believable than having us readers eavesdropping on conversations Rikki had with friends, coworkers and possibly one lover/potential lover. I'm left with the confusion of how far Rikki did get involved with Andy and uncertain whether any of this Andy business was just a product of Cam's mind or it actually existed. It's not a major point for the reader, but something to consider when looking at the overall writing of the piece.

This said, again, I'd never read anything about DID before and certainly not a first person account of it. The idea that a person could switch into someone else before your very eyes and with no obvious sense of control of it is terrifying and amazing. This method of brain splitting (let's say) DID help Cam to be completely unaware of what had happened to him for years. This work did show how fascinating our brains can be and it's for this reason that I'm giving it three stars.

[Toby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really did enjoy this book - it really gave a glimpse into the life of someone who has DID - but I had to knock down the rating due to the utter clunkiness of some of West's writing. I mean, okay, so being original with simile/metaphor is good... but not when it's everywhere in the book. There seemed to be either an increase in the weird simile/metaphor usage in the latter half of the book, or else I just became more aware of it... but I mean, stuff like saying that his sex life wasn't "mangoes in Maui - it was more like mukluks in Minsk" - I mean, okay, the readers get it. But what the hell do fuzzy boots in a place in Belarus have to do with Cam's intimate life?....

...Okay, maybe I don't want to know the answer to that. Haha. But still.

However, if you are a multiple and you're looking for a book that will have you smiling, laughing, frowning, and cheering Cam and his wife on the entire time... then I definitely recommend this one. If you're a professional who is treating multiples or are just someone who wants to understand more about DID, this might be an interesting read. I can see how it would be confusing to some, though... the process of switching is not easily explained by anyone who's never experienced it.

[John Bragg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was insane. I loved learning about this disorder through Dr. Wests perspective(s) and it was so inspiring and interesting to watch him work through this trauma. I learned so much from this book and definitely recommend it! It is definitely a bit heavier and darker but I read it on the beach in two days it was that good.

[Li · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this book in high school. By now, I probably have read it five times. It is one of a kind. (Later, I watched Sybil and read other books about DID, but this one was my very first.) I was shocked by its raw human cruelty, but in the mean time, intrigued by our omnipotent brain. My curiosity eventually drove me to study psychology and then neuroscience.

[Baubo Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book lead me to fall in love with memoirs. It’s such a gift when someone shares their life story, their struggle... and I remember being captivated by Cameron West’s self reflection well over 20 years ago.

[Sara Croft · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story is 5 stars. The writing is 4, as someone else mentioned Cam is not an author. Read this to understand how everyone is battling their own enemies and that as humans, we need to remember to be kind to one another and ourselves.

[David M Speak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally an Answer

I over the course if twenty years had three different therapists attempt to help me with DID, they failed.
I am now 55 y.o. and am again working with someone
with a therapy dog trained to know when someone switches between their alter's. I am hopeful.

[Marla · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book as it's very informative about psychology and i'm very interested in that field. I was also touched by the author and i really enjoyed his story and narration.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

True story of a man with DID. This was very good! Couldn’t put it down. It emphasized more of his experience and how he dealt with having alters, rather than on the trauma he endured as a child.

[Z Cat]

This book allowed me for the first time, to be able to show others what life is like for me. It finally put into words what I had been trying for so long to tell.

[Rainbowgardener · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up. How you rate this depends on what qualities you are prioritizing. He really is not that good a writer. As many people have noted he squeezes similes and metaphors until they scream, sometimes until they hardly make sense any more . It is over written, at times sort of clunky. What saves it is that he has a very compelling story to tell and it is his own story.

If you know anything about multiple personality disorder (now called dissociative identity disorder), you know it always has its origin in severe chronic abuse, starting in childhood, perpetrated by someone(s) the child otherwise loves and trusts and depends on. In order to survive this, the child splits off the abuse, the feelings, the memories into a separate personality. So for people that have not dealt with, talked about, read about these kinds of child abuse, including child sexual abuse, just having to read about what happened to the author can be shocking and painful/ upsetting. And it certainly could be triggering if you have your own abuse issues.

I was a therapist and did a lot of work with sexually abused children and teenagers. So I am very used to hearing these stories, from the young victims when the abuse was not very far in the past. From my vantage point, the author included no more graphic abuse description than was really necessary for the reader to understand his reactions and his disorder at all.

I thought it ended a little too soon . I would have liked to hear more about his recovery and how he is functioning now. Apparently, unlike some multiples post treatment, he never fully integrated, continues to live with the sense of having several people inside him. But he is now a PhD and I think a therapist himself. How does that work?

As someone with some issues about class and money and always broke, I felt he could have said more about his money situation. There clearly is lots of money in the background. As the story opens he owns a silver Mercedes and a silvery blue Volvo (or something like that). He has what seems to be a big fancy house with a big deck, a hot tub, no neighbors in sight ... He and his brother own their own advertising/ marketing agency, but it seems to be very small scale, mostly just the two of them and a few assistants. For a good part of the story, neither Cameron nor his wife Rikki were working and Cameron was getting lots of very expensive treatment. Where did all the money come from? He very frequently mentions (as well he should) his gratitude for Rikki and her extreme patience and supportiveness through a long and difficult illness. He never once acknowledges his position of privilege or expresses any gratitude that all these financial resources were available to him. I found that a bit irritating.

But these are all relatively minor quibbles. If you are interested in the workings of the mind, this is a fascinating book, that will keep your attention all the way through.