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Even if you don't.: A love story
EVEN IF YOU DON'T is not a cancer story - it's a love story. And even more than that, it's the awe-inspiring life story of Kailen Combs Taylor.
Kailen lived with a perpetual sense of wonder, maintaining immutable joy and resilient hope in the midst of some of life's most barbaric trials.
Narrated with heartrending candor, this harrowing love story will make you laugh, cry, and frantically turn the page, often all at once. And long after you finish the book and fall back into the hectic fray of life, you may find Kailen's message still resonates in your heart: that life can be a fairytale, even when it's a tragedy.
"Bryan has written a book which proves that even in the face of impossible odds, love never fails."
-Christina Rasmussen, Author of Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again
Kailen lived with a perpetual sense of wonder, maintaining immutable joy and resilient hope in the midst of some of life's most barbaric trials.
Narrated with heartrending candor, this harrowing love story will make you laugh, cry, and frantically turn the page, often all at once. And long after you finish the book and fall back into the hectic fray of life, you may find Kailen's message still resonates in your heart: that life can be a fairytale, even when it's a tragedy.
"Bryan has written a book which proves that even in the face of impossible odds, love never fails."
-Christina Rasmussen, Author of Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
302 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 17, 2018
68 people are currently reading
220 people want to read
About the author
Bryan C. Taylor
1 book10 followersBryan C. Taylor grew up on a farm in small-town western Kentucky, where his dreams of becoming an author had their origins on an ancient Dell desktop.
Quite a lot has changed since then - Bryan moved to a larger (albeit slightly) town in Kentucky, and upgraded from the old Dell to a new iMac, but the dream has always stayed the same.
Bryan has a Bachelor of Science in Biology and a Doctor of Pharmacy degree, both from the University of Kentucky. He was married for five years before his late wife, Kailen, the inspiration for his book EVEN IF YOU DON'T, passed away from breast cancer at the age of 25.
In addition to his books, Bryan also maintains a blog about grief, where he seeks to teach others the lessons that Kailen taught him - namely, that life can be a fairytale, even when it's a tragedy.
Find your fairytale here: www.bryanctaylor.com/blog
Bryan lives in Frankfort, Kentucky with his dog, Rupp.
Quite a lot has changed since then - Bryan moved to a larger (albeit slightly) town in Kentucky, and upgraded from the old Dell to a new iMac, but the dream has always stayed the same.
Bryan has a Bachelor of Science in Biology and a Doctor of Pharmacy degree, both from the University of Kentucky. He was married for five years before his late wife, Kailen, the inspiration for his book EVEN IF YOU DON'T, passed away from breast cancer at the age of 25.
In addition to his books, Bryan also maintains a blog about grief, where he seeks to teach others the lessons that Kailen taught him - namely, that life can be a fairytale, even when it's a tragedy.
Find your fairytale here: www.bryanctaylor.com/blog
Bryan lives in Frankfort, Kentucky with his dog, Rupp.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
April 3, 2018
Wow. Just wow.
Every once in a while you connect with a character in a book and they stick with you after you’re finished reading. This time, it wasn’t a character, it was a real person. I came across Kailen’s story a couple years ago through the Tone It Up community and I was so excited to learn more about this incredible woman through this book. This story is absolutely heartbreaking, but it also shows resilience and strength. The world needs more Kailens. The story is very well written and you can sense the love that Bryan has for his wife on every page. Read this book, but make sure to have tissues on hand!
Every once in a while you connect with a character in a book and they stick with you after you’re finished reading. This time, it wasn’t a character, it was a real person. I came across Kailen’s story a couple years ago through the Tone It Up community and I was so excited to learn more about this incredible woman through this book. This story is absolutely heartbreaking, but it also shows resilience and strength. The world needs more Kailens. The story is very well written and you can sense the love that Bryan has for his wife on every page. Read this book, but make sure to have tissues on hand!
June 6, 2018
WOW! I read this book in almost 2 hours. I couldn't put it down once I started it.
It is a beautifully written love story that will touch your heart. I knew there would be no happy ending, because I personally knew of Kailen, but I didn’t expect to cry, and laugh as much as I did. Bryan told their story from when they meet, until the very end. Through all the fun, good, and bad times. It was so easy to read. They loved unconditional and never gave up. Kailen's faith always stayed strong through out all her ordeals. This book is truly what true love looks like.
It is a beautifully written love story that will touch your heart. I knew there would be no happy ending, because I personally knew of Kailen, but I didn’t expect to cry, and laugh as much as I did. Bryan told their story from when they meet, until the very end. Through all the fun, good, and bad times. It was so easy to read. They loved unconditional and never gave up. Kailen's faith always stayed strong through out all her ordeals. This book is truly what true love looks like.
January 29, 2018
Bryan C. Taylor notes in the blurb detailing his first book that this is not a cancer story, but a love story. That is an odd statement when you first enter the world of Bryan and his future bride’s (Kailen) life. What starts out as a run-of-the-mill love story turns quickly into a cancer story. When Bryan and Kailen decide to get married, there is an understanding that he is marrying into her numerous health problems. The health of Kailen continues to decline in their marriage as she battles first numerous digestive ailments and then later breast cancer. The narrative turns abruptly from a heartwarming story into a tragedy. The subtitle of the book becomes almost ironic as you get deeper into it, a fact that you don’t fully appreciate until the end.
As Taylor brings the characters to life, the hardships he and particularly Kailen had to endure are excruciating. He separates his experience into four parts: “The Hand and Heart,” about falling in love and eventually marrying Kailen, “The Bend in the Road,” the beginning of Kailen’s health problems, “War,” the worsening of her conditions, and finally, “The Gloaming,” the resolution. Throughout the book, every hospital experience, every unknown, every shot and illness gives you pause to consider the bravery and strength of these two young lovers; too young to have this weight thrusted upon them. In Part 3 of the book, “War,” Taylor chronicles the continual battle for Kailen’s life through chemotherapy and managing her aggressive cancer. Her doctor says, in one poignant section of the book, “But this is war. It’s going to be brutal for a while. Make no mistake, you’re in a fight for your lives. Staying alive is a conscious choice you’ll have to make, and it won’t always be preferable. But I can promise you one thing – I’ll fight alongside you every step of the way” (Taylor, Kindle Locations 1165-1167).
And this, more or less, is much of what the book is about: the fight to stay alive with someone by your side every step of the way. But the book is not dull by any stretch of the imagination (in fact, I read it within one day; it is definitely a page turner). While it may be a chronicle of events, it is done in such a way that expresses much grander themes:
1) As a newlywed, the love that Taylor had for Kailen despite anything that may have happened or would happen to her stands out to me. At the beginning of their marriage, Taylor had a steep learning curve to understanding his new life. But after that, no embarrassing moment or vulnerability could make him love her any less, and he provided for her every need. I think this is an important lesson for picking your future mate; would they be willing to see you at the lowest low and still want to be with you? Have you chosen someone who would dote on you in your time of need?
2) The positivity and fight that Kailen had in ever insurmountable odds are traits that, had I been placed in this situation, I would want. In my own opinion, the sovereignty of God is such that everything happens for a reason. Reading through this book makes you give pause to how horrific this fallen world is. But even so, to think about how many people’s lives Kailen changed forever makes you think: was it worth it? At one point, Taylor states that people in over 54 countries had seen her blog. She had been an inspiration for people living in a quarter of the world’s countries. In my estimation, I believe it was worth it.
3)One of the most intriguing themes of this book is something I have thought about a lot. Taylor and Kailen are professing Christians, but I love his honesty in writing this account. He expresses everything from joy, to sadness, to anger, to the brink of insanity in some instances. He doesn’t hesitate from stating his true feelings, recognizing God’s sovereignty and ability to take away Kailen’s pain juxtaposed with the reality that He didn’t and He won’t. This leads to some directed anger towards God which displays a frank and honest view of this fallen world that Christians sometimes don’t have the courage to own.
These are just some of the themes that stuck out to me throughout this book. I am by no means an emotional person, in general. In saying that, it seemed like every single page of this book had me on the brink of tears. At the end, I have no shame in saying that I wept. The true events in this book are filled with so much wisdom about suffering, death, and love. It was only at the end of the book that I could say no, it is not a cancer story; it really is a love story. Thank you Bryan for your courage and for writing this marvelous book.
As Taylor brings the characters to life, the hardships he and particularly Kailen had to endure are excruciating. He separates his experience into four parts: “The Hand and Heart,” about falling in love and eventually marrying Kailen, “The Bend in the Road,” the beginning of Kailen’s health problems, “War,” the worsening of her conditions, and finally, “The Gloaming,” the resolution. Throughout the book, every hospital experience, every unknown, every shot and illness gives you pause to consider the bravery and strength of these two young lovers; too young to have this weight thrusted upon them. In Part 3 of the book, “War,” Taylor chronicles the continual battle for Kailen’s life through chemotherapy and managing her aggressive cancer. Her doctor says, in one poignant section of the book, “But this is war. It’s going to be brutal for a while. Make no mistake, you’re in a fight for your lives. Staying alive is a conscious choice you’ll have to make, and it won’t always be preferable. But I can promise you one thing – I’ll fight alongside you every step of the way” (Taylor, Kindle Locations 1165-1167).
And this, more or less, is much of what the book is about: the fight to stay alive with someone by your side every step of the way. But the book is not dull by any stretch of the imagination (in fact, I read it within one day; it is definitely a page turner). While it may be a chronicle of events, it is done in such a way that expresses much grander themes:
1) As a newlywed, the love that Taylor had for Kailen despite anything that may have happened or would happen to her stands out to me. At the beginning of their marriage, Taylor had a steep learning curve to understanding his new life. But after that, no embarrassing moment or vulnerability could make him love her any less, and he provided for her every need. I think this is an important lesson for picking your future mate; would they be willing to see you at the lowest low and still want to be with you? Have you chosen someone who would dote on you in your time of need?
2) The positivity and fight that Kailen had in ever insurmountable odds are traits that, had I been placed in this situation, I would want. In my own opinion, the sovereignty of God is such that everything happens for a reason. Reading through this book makes you give pause to how horrific this fallen world is. But even so, to think about how many people’s lives Kailen changed forever makes you think: was it worth it? At one point, Taylor states that people in over 54 countries had seen her blog. She had been an inspiration for people living in a quarter of the world’s countries. In my estimation, I believe it was worth it.
3)One of the most intriguing themes of this book is something I have thought about a lot. Taylor and Kailen are professing Christians, but I love his honesty in writing this account. He expresses everything from joy, to sadness, to anger, to the brink of insanity in some instances. He doesn’t hesitate from stating his true feelings, recognizing God’s sovereignty and ability to take away Kailen’s pain juxtaposed with the reality that He didn’t and He won’t. This leads to some directed anger towards God which displays a frank and honest view of this fallen world that Christians sometimes don’t have the courage to own.
These are just some of the themes that stuck out to me throughout this book. I am by no means an emotional person, in general. In saying that, it seemed like every single page of this book had me on the brink of tears. At the end, I have no shame in saying that I wept. The true events in this book are filled with so much wisdom about suffering, death, and love. It was only at the end of the book that I could say no, it is not a cancer story; it really is a love story. Thank you Bryan for your courage and for writing this marvelous book.
April 26, 2023
I had to choose a cancer memoir to read for my advanced oncology elective course in pharmacy school. To say I could find myself relating to the writer's messages because of its aspects of pharmacy, calls to unfailing faith, and depth of Christianity written throughout the book is an understatement. The memoir gave me a better insight on the choices, pain, and trials that cancer patients and their loved ones have to undergo after getting the initial diagnosis. I shed so many tears throughout the book just by the sheer acts of human kindness sprinkled and presented throughout Bryan and Kailen's journey. I was inspired by Kailen's steadfast faith and love for God despite experiencing doubt and constant setbacks throughout her health journey. I felt grief and loss for the life that the young couple could have had. It was extremely difficult to push through the book, knowing how it would eventually end. However, each page was written with such heartfelt honesty and emotion that enabled me to push through. Overall, this was such a raw and enlightening read that accurately depicted the simultaneous harshness and beauty of true love.
April 5, 2018
I gave this a shot because an author I've read recommended it and I'm a pretty big fan of love stories. This was overall a good book. It's a heartstab for sure with it's cloud of the wife's sure-to-come death hanging over the book from the very beginning. It worked for it. At times it made the sweet moments all the more precious and at other times it made them feel like continuous endings. There were a few moments that felt like they dragged a bit and got lost in the description and could have been more simply put. The writing style is very detailed and it's great for some parts and causes me to lose the feeling in others. It is a beautiful story for sure, and anyone with a romantic heart would eat this up. It has some feels since it includes excerpts from the wife's blog too. Not a light read but a good one.
March 9, 2018
Just WOW! I dare you to read this and not come away from it changed. A beautifully written love story that will touch your heart. I knew there would be no happy ending, yet I didn’t expect to cry my way through the whole last chapter. Bryan has a writing style that is so easy to read. You instantly connect with the story & find yourself very invested in his relationship with Kailen & all the struggles they go through. THIS is what true love looks like. Kailen’s life was not an easy one, but she never lost her faith.
“Even if God didn’t do all these miracles, I knew I was going to be better off for believing. Even if He didn’t, God would still have a plan. Even if He didn’t, I was still going to believe, and ask, and expect miracles.” - Kailen Combs Taylor
“Even if God didn’t do all these miracles, I knew I was going to be better off for believing. Even if He didn’t, God would still have a plan. Even if He didn’t, I was still going to believe, and ask, and expect miracles.” - Kailen Combs Taylor
February 5, 2018
Beautiful and Tragic
This book affected me deeply. I felt a range of emotions as the book flowed: happiness, sadness, and remembrance of the times of grieving in my own life. Though Kailen's life ended tragically, her life and death are inspiring, and prove that faith in God, love of family and friends, and between soul mates is greater than any worldly woe.
One of the best books I have read, not only for its prose and message of hope and love, but also because it made me feel on a level no other book has ever done.
This is a love story, just as the author describes, and it is one that even this previously jaded and cynical reader highly recommends.
This book affected me deeply. I felt a range of emotions as the book flowed: happiness, sadness, and remembrance of the times of grieving in my own life. Though Kailen's life ended tragically, her life and death are inspiring, and prove that faith in God, love of family and friends, and between soul mates is greater than any worldly woe.
One of the best books I have read, not only for its prose and message of hope and love, but also because it made me feel on a level no other book has ever done.
This is a love story, just as the author describes, and it is one that even this previously jaded and cynical reader highly recommends.
August 15, 2020
A Heartfelt Page Turner
Thank you for writing a book that made me a part of your family for the past couple of weeks. What a beautiful story that brought me joy and tore my heart apart all at the same. As a senior aged woman, I was with my beloved husband during his journey with prostate metastasized to bone cancer so I could relate to so much. Even though his suffering was off the chart, I would have to say Kaelin's complications made her ordeal so much worse. Please continue to trust and believe in God's mercy for you have inspired me greatly and made my faith so much stronger.
Thank you for writing a book that made me a part of your family for the past couple of weeks. What a beautiful story that brought me joy and tore my heart apart all at the same. As a senior aged woman, I was with my beloved husband during his journey with prostate metastasized to bone cancer so I could relate to so much. Even though his suffering was off the chart, I would have to say Kaelin's complications made her ordeal so much worse. Please continue to trust and believe in God's mercy for you have inspired me greatly and made my faith so much stronger.
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July 10, 2020Heart wrenching and beautiful
People like Kailen never cease to amaze me. Just like in I Still Believe the faith these women had was boundless. Did she have moments of anger, despair, doubt, sure! But she never stopped loving and believing in Jesus Christ. She died as she lived. Strong, determined, kind, witty, loving and full of Jesus. Many will say how could God not answer her prayers and heal her body. I would say he did. Just not here on earth. His will be done. This is an difficult but excellent read.
People like Kailen never cease to amaze me. Just like in I Still Believe the faith these women had was boundless. Did she have moments of anger, despair, doubt, sure! But she never stopped loving and believing in Jesus Christ. She died as she lived. Strong, determined, kind, witty, loving and full of Jesus. Many will say how could God not answer her prayers and heal her body. I would say he did. Just not here on earth. His will be done. This is an difficult but excellent read.
January 21, 2018
I literally could not stop reading this book until I finished it. It is truly one of the best love stories that I have read in a long time, and it is real, and it is raw, and it is emotional. It has truly made me look at life a little differently. Who knew that 3 hours later, I would somehow be this changed?
A beautiful tribute to an even more beautiful woman.
A beautiful tribute to an even more beautiful woman.
February 23, 2018
Beautiful story of true love
Wow! Beautifully and honestly written this is a love story not only between a young man and his young bride but between God and us. We are reminded that bad things happen to good Christian people and we are reminded by this beautiful young woman to never loose our faith. Thank you Bryan for sharing your story with us.
Wow! Beautifully and honestly written this is a love story not only between a young man and his young bride but between God and us. We are reminded that bad things happen to good Christian people and we are reminded by this beautiful young woman to never loose our faith. Thank you Bryan for sharing your story with us.
April 5, 2018
If you're a fan of Nicholas Sparks, sweet yet tragic love stories, or strong Christian-themes, this book is right up your alley. You won't get through it without a few tears, and you'll end the book feeling inspired to love fully, to pray a little deeper, and to embrace life in all of it's moments-good and bad-and take them as opportunities to feel a little longer and love a little more.
February 2, 2019
A real journey of faith
Really good and realistic telling of perseverance, faith and love in the face of impossible odds. Having recently taken a similar journey with a dear friend, this book brought back so many memories of how strong people of faith get through a devastating illness all the while blessing those around them.
Really good and realistic telling of perseverance, faith and love in the face of impossible odds. Having recently taken a similar journey with a dear friend, this book brought back so many memories of how strong people of faith get through a devastating illness all the while blessing those around them.
January 26, 2018
A must-read!!
Began reading this book around mid-morning and had it finished by around midnight. I don’t think I could put together enough words to describe what this book has done to me. An emotional uproar and renewal of spirit. I am forever changed after reading this.
Began reading this book around mid-morning and had it finished by around midnight. I don’t think I could put together enough words to describe what this book has done to me. An emotional uproar and renewal of spirit. I am forever changed after reading this.
March 17, 2018
Beautiful! <3
Such a beautiful story on so many levels. Unimaginable what they went through during their short time together. A beautiful story of love with a sobering reminder of the preciousness of our Earthly time together. Thank you for sharing your story.
Such a beautiful story on so many levels. Unimaginable what they went through during their short time together. A beautiful story of love with a sobering reminder of the preciousness of our Earthly time together. Thank you for sharing your story.
May 8, 2018
So raw and intimate.
Loved how he brought the reader into the most private and painful times and painted a beautiful picture of the love they shared for one another but also the love for their Savior!!!
Loved how he brought the reader into the most private and painful times and painted a beautiful picture of the love they shared for one another but also the love for their Savior!!!
March 19, 2020
This was a heartbreaking,yet beautiful story. The author tells the story of the health challenges that his wife suffered. It is an inspiring story of strong faith and the love of God. It's difficult to read at times, but I'd definitely recommend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 11, 2020
Thank you for sharing
This is quite an emotional and inspiring read, and a worthy tribute to an amazing warrior that was Kaillan. Thank you for your story of her unfailing faith amidst unfathomable pain
This is quite an emotional and inspiring read, and a worthy tribute to an amazing warrior that was Kaillan. Thank you for your story of her unfailing faith amidst unfathomable pain
November 30, 2023
Recommended by a friend who is vaguely connected to the family. I felt weird reading it because I grew up in the area where everything took place. So as he tried to romanticize the places I didn't see them that way. Not the most polished writing, but I still enjoyed it.
May 3, 2024
It IS Well and if you didn’t believe it before, Bryan and Kailen will make you believe it after.
What a beautiful story of love and hope ; heartbreak and loss. Thank you. I am devastated, shattered and eternally grateful for the reminder that God waits.
What a beautiful story of love and hope ; heartbreak and loss. Thank you. I am devastated, shattered and eternally grateful for the reminder that God waits.
March 2, 2018
One of the best, yet most heart wrenching books I've ever read. It touches on so many emotions, and spoke to me in a way very few books can.
April 13, 2018
3.5 stars, sweet story of faith and love, several grammatical/continuity errors
June 12, 2018
Beautifully heartbreaking!
December 19, 2018
Truest of love
Perfect love story based on faith! Great read for anyone who's experienced true love!! Did not want their story to end!
Perfect love story based on faith! Great read for anyone who's experienced true love!! Did not want their story to end!
February 12, 2019
Beautiful
February 20, 2019
Outstanding, sweet love story!
April 24, 2019
This book is remarkable story about faith. It you don't understand what faith looks like in action you should read this book.
July 29, 2019
True story. Sweet love story of Bryan and Kailen. Kailen continued to praise God, even if he doesn't heal her. (Kailen's parents are long-time friends and I remember when Kailen born.)
September 19, 2019
Amazing story
I would recommend this book to anyone afflicted with cancer or a care giver. Even in struts live shines bright
I would recommend this book to anyone afflicted with cancer or a care giver. Even in struts live shines bright
April 8, 2020
Very powerful book of true love
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews