What do you think?
Rate this book
Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot
Sex. In a world overwhelmingly obsessed with it, why is the church so silent about it? While our secular culture twists, perverts, cheapens, and idolizes sex, there are gaping holes in the church's guidance of young people. The result is generations of sexually illiterate people drowning in the repercussions of overwhelming sin struggles.Enough is enough, says Mo Isom. With raw vulnerability and a bold spirit, she shares her own sexual testimony, opening up the conversation about misguided rule-following, virginity, temptation, porn, promiscuity, false sex-pectations, sex in marriage, and more and calling readers back to God's original design for sex--a way to worship and glorify him. This book is for the young person tangled up in an addiction to pornography, for the girlfriend feeling pressured to go further, for the "good girl" who followed the rules and saved herself for marriage and then was confused and disappointed, for the married couple who use sex as a bargaining tool, for every person who casually watches sex play out in TV and movies and wonders why they're dissatisfied with the real thing, and for every confused or hurting person in-between. Sex was God's idea. It's time we invited him back into the bedroom.
194 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 6, 2018
497 people are currently reading
3488 people want to read
About the author
Mo Isom
4 books100 followersMo (Isom) Aiken is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker and blogger. Not only an accomplished writer, Mo was an All-American goalkeeper for the Louisiana State University soccer team, as well as the first female to train with and tryout for an SEC men's football team. She has been featured in Sports Illustrated and appeared on Ellen, ESPN, CBS, The 700 Club, and countless other platforms. Mo speaks nationally and internationally on a variety of faith-based topics, and facilitates a faith-centered blog that has garnered millions of views to date.
Her first book, Wreck My Life: Journeying from Broken to Bold, was a New York Times Bestseller. Her second book, Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot, transformed the climate of conversations around sex in the body of Christ. And her third book, Fully Known: An Invitation to True Intimacy with God, released to powerful reviews in April of 2021. Mo and her husband, Jeremiah, live in Atlanta with their four children.
Read more at moisom.com and follow her on instagram @MoIsom.
Her first book, Wreck My Life: Journeying from Broken to Bold, was a New York Times Bestseller. Her second book, Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot, transformed the climate of conversations around sex in the body of Christ. And her third book, Fully Known: An Invitation to True Intimacy with God, released to powerful reviews in April of 2021. Mo and her husband, Jeremiah, live in Atlanta with their four children.
Read more at moisom.com and follow her on instagram @MoIsom.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 332 reviews
July 29, 2019
I want to start out by saying, I think it is brave of Isom to put her story out there. I think our stories are important and I think people connect with our stories in ways we will never really understand. I think that by her putting her story out there, she is trying to be her authentic self and that is the best we can give the world.
That being said, the best part of this book was the title. I think the title is extremely catchy and needed. But I feel like the book failed to deliver on the "Conversations the Church forgot" part. Honestly, it was the same tired script and Christian jargon that I have heard Evangelicals throw at sex for decades and that was truly disappointing.
I found myself crying and raging at this book as I read, I would argue with the content that offered modesty as an option to fight rape culture, and the bypasses she gave trauma, and coercion. Not to mention that the language used in this book is reductive, outdated and female blaming, which is nothing new in the story of church and sex. Instead of her owning pieces of her story and saying, "I felt this, because of this." she states pushes that experience out like it is hard fact backed up by scripture, which feels manipulative and a little emotionally exhibiting, rather than vulnerable.
I was hoping for a book that talked about how trauma effects the brain, how a culture centered on sexualizing a female body is damaging in both modesty and rape culture ideations. I was hoping for a conversation that Females are sexual beings not sex objects, I was hoping for there to be a larger conversation about the sexual, spiritual and physical intermingling of relationships and they should all develop at relatively the same pace. I was hoping for there to be a conversation about the beauty of sex and consent. What consent is, what it isn't and why the Church is not talking about it. I was hoping for there to be a conversation about the trauma that we cause with secrecy and dishonesty and hypocrisy about purity in the church. This book did not do that, but I think it does a great job a spiritually bypassing instead of dealing with all of those things. Is think the only difference from this book and every other "purity book" written in the 90's and early 00's was that it was a female author.
There is so much in this story that could address where the christian church is and how to change and shift the culture, but it falls short.
That being said, the best part of this book was the title. I think the title is extremely catchy and needed. But I feel like the book failed to deliver on the "Conversations the Church forgot" part. Honestly, it was the same tired script and Christian jargon that I have heard Evangelicals throw at sex for decades and that was truly disappointing.
I found myself crying and raging at this book as I read, I would argue with the content that offered modesty as an option to fight rape culture, and the bypasses she gave trauma, and coercion. Not to mention that the language used in this book is reductive, outdated and female blaming, which is nothing new in the story of church and sex. Instead of her owning pieces of her story and saying, "I felt this, because of this." she states pushes that experience out like it is hard fact backed up by scripture, which feels manipulative and a little emotionally exhibiting, rather than vulnerable.
I was hoping for a book that talked about how trauma effects the brain, how a culture centered on sexualizing a female body is damaging in both modesty and rape culture ideations. I was hoping for a conversation that Females are sexual beings not sex objects, I was hoping for there to be a larger conversation about the sexual, spiritual and physical intermingling of relationships and they should all develop at relatively the same pace. I was hoping for there to be a conversation about the beauty of sex and consent. What consent is, what it isn't and why the Church is not talking about it. I was hoping for there to be a conversation about the trauma that we cause with secrecy and dishonesty and hypocrisy about purity in the church. This book did not do that, but I think it does a great job a spiritually bypassing instead of dealing with all of those things. Is think the only difference from this book and every other "purity book" written in the 90's and early 00's was that it was a female author.
There is so much in this story that could address where the christian church is and how to change and shift the culture, but it falls short.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2018
As a single, late twenty-something, I honestly think this was one of the most important books I could have read this year.
March 27, 2018
Okay. So first I want to say that it's incredibly brave and honest of Mo to share her story so openly with others. There's a lot about my own past that I'm still struggling to talk openly about even to family, so I really admire her being able to do it on a very public scale. It's great and if people who struggle with similar sexual sin can find encouragement and hope in her redemption story, that's amazing.
But that's not what I thought I was going to get with this book. I thought she was going to talk about what God meant for sex to be and how we should celebrate it instead of shunning it or not even discussing it. There's an entire book of the Bible devoted to sex between a husband and wife, so I would recommend people reading Song of Solomon to have a better idea of how God intended us to see sex. She does eventually get into how sex should be a holy act and how husband and wife should find joy in it and use it as an act of worship. The problem is this isn't discussed until almost the end.
The majority of the book is focusing on our sexual sin, or what sex isn't. Which is fine and definitely worth discussing. We get so saturated in sex that sometimes we forget the boundaries that God designed for us and we let things slide. But here's the thing: that's exactly what she was saying the church was doing, giving out a list of "do" and "don't", focusing largely on the negative. I get that it's her realm of experience, but if this is to be a conversation maybe she could've enlisted people who struggled with sex in other ways. Like those who suffered sexual abuse or assault, or those who've been obediently abstinent for a long time and struggle with sexual desire that way, something like that.
Again, I have no problems with what she chose to write in this book. It's very eye-opening and I admire her for being so candid about her personal struggles and experiences. But I was hoping for more of what God designed sex to be and how we should be celebrating it and using it to glorify Him, less of what sex isn't meant to be and how the world has glorified that version rather than the truth.
But that's not what I thought I was going to get with this book. I thought she was going to talk about what God meant for sex to be and how we should celebrate it instead of shunning it or not even discussing it. There's an entire book of the Bible devoted to sex between a husband and wife, so I would recommend people reading Song of Solomon to have a better idea of how God intended us to see sex. She does eventually get into how sex should be a holy act and how husband and wife should find joy in it and use it as an act of worship. The problem is this isn't discussed until almost the end.
The majority of the book is focusing on our sexual sin, or what sex isn't. Which is fine and definitely worth discussing. We get so saturated in sex that sometimes we forget the boundaries that God designed for us and we let things slide. But here's the thing: that's exactly what she was saying the church was doing, giving out a list of "do" and "don't", focusing largely on the negative. I get that it's her realm of experience, but if this is to be a conversation maybe she could've enlisted people who struggled with sex in other ways. Like those who suffered sexual abuse or assault, or those who've been obediently abstinent for a long time and struggle with sexual desire that way, something like that.
Again, I have no problems with what she chose to write in this book. It's very eye-opening and I admire her for being so candid about her personal struggles and experiences. But I was hoping for more of what God designed sex to be and how we should be celebrating it and using it to glorify Him, less of what sex isn't meant to be and how the world has glorified that version rather than the truth.
August 9, 2018
SUCH TRUTH. SUCH LOVE.
March 13, 2018
I’m glad I read this book, and I’m glad Mo Isom wrote it. She’s absolutely right when she says that the church doesn’t talk enough about sex to counter the world’s image of sex with God’s purpose for sex. However, I think there is something of a mismatch between what this book promises to be and what it is—and I think I would rather read the book that it promises to be.
Probably because of the second half of the title, I was expecting a critique of how specifically the modern church has fumbled the message on sex. Isom focused mainly on her story and how her particular religious upbringing failed her—and to be fair, that makes sense because that’s her experience. But I was hoping there might be more exploration of others’ parallel experiences and how her story represents just one of a larger trend. There was a researched chapter on the prevalence of sexual sin, but it was all statistics and little story (and didn’t connect back to the church much, except to say that, well, everyone’s doing it so Christians are doing it too). I guess I was expecting her to explore the middle ground between her personal story and the statistical story at some point, and that time never really came.
In the same vein, Isom spent some good time talking about God’s plan for sex and shouting the beauty and sanctity of sex within marriage. But there wasn’t a follow-up of “and this is how we should communicate all that to our young people” or “we should continue preaching these truths to married people!” In both cases I felt like she stopped one step short of discussing the “conversations” of the title that the church should be having.
My last unmet expectation was that only a small portion of the book covered sex within marriage—for some reason I expected there to be a lot more discussion about the issues that married Christians face in their sex lives. But maybe that’s the subject of another book.
Again, I’m so glad that Isom shared her redemptive story as well as some great thoughts on what God means sex to be. I’m sure others coming to this book with different experiences than mine will learn and appreciate different things than I did. It’s worth it just to start “the conversations that the church forgot” about sex, even if Isom doesn’t guide those conversations as much as I would have liked.
Probably because of the second half of the title, I was expecting a critique of how specifically the modern church has fumbled the message on sex. Isom focused mainly on her story and how her particular religious upbringing failed her—and to be fair, that makes sense because that’s her experience. But I was hoping there might be more exploration of others’ parallel experiences and how her story represents just one of a larger trend. There was a researched chapter on the prevalence of sexual sin, but it was all statistics and little story (and didn’t connect back to the church much, except to say that, well, everyone’s doing it so Christians are doing it too). I guess I was expecting her to explore the middle ground between her personal story and the statistical story at some point, and that time never really came.
In the same vein, Isom spent some good time talking about God’s plan for sex and shouting the beauty and sanctity of sex within marriage. But there wasn’t a follow-up of “and this is how we should communicate all that to our young people” or “we should continue preaching these truths to married people!” In both cases I felt like she stopped one step short of discussing the “conversations” of the title that the church should be having.
My last unmet expectation was that only a small portion of the book covered sex within marriage—for some reason I expected there to be a lot more discussion about the issues that married Christians face in their sex lives. But maybe that’s the subject of another book.
Again, I’m so glad that Isom shared her redemptive story as well as some great thoughts on what God means sex to be. I’m sure others coming to this book with different experiences than mine will learn and appreciate different things than I did. It’s worth it just to start “the conversations that the church forgot” about sex, even if Isom doesn’t guide those conversations as much as I would have liked.
February 2, 2018
FORGOTTEN CONVERSATIONS!!
Finally someone has been obedient and bold enough to step forward and write a book on the conversations churches have long neglected to have with young people. Unfortunately, it seems so have most of their parents. The conversations are about SEX. Just saying the word out loud will raise the eyebrows of everyone around you! As the church we’ve forgotten to talk about the whys. Mo Aiken tackles this task in a soul bearing book that proves she’s paid her dues in the area of dealing with sexual temptations and pornography. More importantly she knows there’s a way out of the bondage that comes from being a slave to that temptation. She writes that we should strive for purity above all because it is a condition of the heart. Nothing is sugarcoated in this book! The good news is that she reveals the answer to your soul’s deepest longings, desires and needs. It’s not an easy path but it’s the only path to true freedom and redemption.
We’ve forgotten to start from the beginning and share why and what should frame and guide our sexual understanding. She writes, “We need to hear more than ‘do this, don’t do that.’ We need to know why it matters to listen and obey in the first place. Because most of our sexual sin struggles grow out of our lack of a deep-rooted understanding of what sex is, how God sees us, why God calls us to what He does, and why obedience to that calling is worth the sacrifice.”
Aiken points out that most people see the holy and hope-filled Word of God as a rule book rather than a love letter written to our hearts. As you peruse this book, Aiken will leave you with no doubt that the Bible is a layered and wisdom-soaked love letter gently explaining the deep-rooted whys that compel us to live differently from the start.
I was provided an ARC of this book by the Publisher and NetGalley. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own and without influence.
Finally someone has been obedient and bold enough to step forward and write a book on the conversations churches have long neglected to have with young people. Unfortunately, it seems so have most of their parents. The conversations are about SEX. Just saying the word out loud will raise the eyebrows of everyone around you! As the church we’ve forgotten to talk about the whys. Mo Aiken tackles this task in a soul bearing book that proves she’s paid her dues in the area of dealing with sexual temptations and pornography. More importantly she knows there’s a way out of the bondage that comes from being a slave to that temptation. She writes that we should strive for purity above all because it is a condition of the heart. Nothing is sugarcoated in this book! The good news is that she reveals the answer to your soul’s deepest longings, desires and needs. It’s not an easy path but it’s the only path to true freedom and redemption.
We’ve forgotten to start from the beginning and share why and what should frame and guide our sexual understanding. She writes, “We need to hear more than ‘do this, don’t do that.’ We need to know why it matters to listen and obey in the first place. Because most of our sexual sin struggles grow out of our lack of a deep-rooted understanding of what sex is, how God sees us, why God calls us to what He does, and why obedience to that calling is worth the sacrifice.”
Aiken points out that most people see the holy and hope-filled Word of God as a rule book rather than a love letter written to our hearts. As you peruse this book, Aiken will leave you with no doubt that the Bible is a layered and wisdom-soaked love letter gently explaining the deep-rooted whys that compel us to live differently from the start.
I was provided an ARC of this book by the Publisher and NetGalley. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own and without influence.
April 29, 2018
Written with refreshing honesty while grounded in Biblical truth, "Sex, Jesus and the Conversations The Church Forgot" is a book that everyone would be wise to read. The author writes in an engaging manner where it feels like you are sitting down with her in a coffee shop and talking about sex and Jesus in a totally natural way. She doesn't hesitate to share her own past mistakes and struggles, and because of this you feel like you can trust what she's telling you. Readers will be given the courage to take a look at their own lives, to examine the decisions that they've made and probably the excuses that they've given themselves over the years. Although women will be especially comfortable with the stories that Isom shares, male and female readers alike will benefit from the spiritual truths that she writes about. One takeaway in particular that has blessed me is where Isom talks about the importance of teaching people to pursue purity and not just concepts like keeping one's virginity. This is something that the next generation especially needs to hear, as youth in the church are struggling to look any different than their cultural counterparts in terms of their sexual choices. Isom's experience of technically remaining a virgin while crossing the line into sexual sin will no doubt resonate with countless readers. I really appreciate the way that she weaves scripture into what she writes. The topics she raises may be difficult for readers to consider if they are dealing with unacknowledged sin in their own lives and have perhaps been justifying their sinful choices for sometime. Yet at the same time, Isom points people to grace, and to the fact there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. That is a powerful truth indeed!
I hope that many people in the church will take the time to read this book, and that it will spark honest and real conversations about sex and purity and about welcoming Jesus into our bedrooms. I award this book a high 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
I hope that many people in the church will take the time to read this book, and that it will spark honest and real conversations about sex and purity and about welcoming Jesus into our bedrooms. I award this book a high 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
October 22, 2019
While I appreciate the author's humility and vulnerability in sharing her story, this book was not what I expected from the title, nor was it something I would recommend to others.
Throughout the book, the author made many troubling comments. She suggests that modest apparel would combat rape/rape culture. She repeatedly blames women for the sin of men. In many instances, she makes blanket statements as if they are fact from the Bible, where it is really something that she experienced personally in her story.
In one instance, she talks about a time she wore clothes that she was not comfortable in and she stated more than once that men were "obviously" thinking about having sex with her. She assumes people's motives, whether it is the motives of men or motives of women regarding what they chose to put on that day.
In another place, she makes a pretty appalling analogy, likening girls to either a Walmart girl (cheap and easy) or a Dolce and Gabbana girl (classy, only lets in serious, classy people, guarded by security, etc).
The author does, however, make some very good points about the wonderful design of sex and how God has created each woman and each person as a precious, wonderful person in his image.
Throughout the book, the author made many troubling comments. She suggests that modest apparel would combat rape/rape culture. She repeatedly blames women for the sin of men. In many instances, she makes blanket statements as if they are fact from the Bible, where it is really something that she experienced personally in her story.
In one instance, she talks about a time she wore clothes that she was not comfortable in and she stated more than once that men were "obviously" thinking about having sex with her. She assumes people's motives, whether it is the motives of men or motives of women regarding what they chose to put on that day.
In another place, she makes a pretty appalling analogy, likening girls to either a Walmart girl (cheap and easy) or a Dolce and Gabbana girl (classy, only lets in serious, classy people, guarded by security, etc).
The author does, however, make some very good points about the wonderful design of sex and how God has created each woman and each person as a precious, wonderful person in his image.
July 20, 2021
Okay listen. I know I´m touching a controversial topic here, but hear me out.
Warning: I´m gonna talk about sex so if it´s a trigger for you, just don´t read it.
The whole point of this book:
- sex before marriage = bad
- sex in marriage = good but also can be bad
Yes, I´m a christian myself and if I read this book a few years ago it would probably encourage me in my faith and the "wait till marriage" thing, but my opinions changed and I disagree with a lot of things this book talks about. Also I have no friends so I´m gonna share my frustration here.
The author said that sex is one of the biggest declarations of love when it comes to couples and I completely agree.
HOWEVER. The example she mentioned was completely off. She said that the Evil wants to break the bond between husband and wife which can be solved by sex. She also mentioned a couple -their young kid died and when they found out, they immediately went to... u know. I don´t think this is the best and most human reaction when your effin child dies, but she was somehow praising them?
This book also gives some advice. Basically:
If u are not ready for marriage, don´t get married.
If u are not ready for marriage but u can´t or don´t want to control your sexual urges, go get married. Because u will never feel like u are ready for marriage.
So are u saying that I should just go get married only because I have urges and needs as every human being on this earth?
Now excuse my language but what the fawk.
She also said that love for her husband wasn´t the main reason she said yes. It was because they both loved God so much that they didn´t want to sin so they just got married???
Also that relationships are not like cars. Before u buy a car u should try it out first?
Excuse me but I´m not sleeping with my partner to "test" if his sexual performance is good enough for me. I won´t make the big decision based on... yes exactly. And if something doesn´t match my expectations I´m not yeeting my partner to "test" someone else. Cuz I can frikkin communicate.
Which is another thing that left me with a wtf face.
She said that sex before marriage doesn´t work because people don´t communicate and don´t talk about sex, what they like or dislike. Yes, that´s a big problem. But she thinks it gets suddenly magically solved by getting married?? "Excuse me I´m not your wife yet, we shouldn´t talk."
Why 2 stars? I love how she opened up and was able to share her experience. That´s it. Amen.
Warning: I´m gonna talk about sex so if it´s a trigger for you, just don´t read it.
The whole point of this book:
- sex before marriage = bad
- sex in marriage = good but also can be bad
Yes, I´m a christian myself and if I read this book a few years ago it would probably encourage me in my faith and the "wait till marriage" thing, but my opinions changed and I disagree with a lot of things this book talks about. Also I have no friends so I´m gonna share my frustration here.
The author said that sex is one of the biggest declarations of love when it comes to couples and I completely agree.
HOWEVER. The example she mentioned was completely off. She said that the Evil wants to break the bond between husband and wife which can be solved by sex. She also mentioned a couple -their young kid died and when they found out, they immediately went to... u know. I don´t think this is the best and most human reaction when your effin child dies, but she was somehow praising them?
This book also gives some advice. Basically:
If u are not ready for marriage, don´t get married.
If u are not ready for marriage but u can´t or don´t want to control your sexual urges, go get married. Because u will never feel like u are ready for marriage.
So are u saying that I should just go get married only because I have urges and needs as every human being on this earth?
Now excuse my language but what the fawk.
She also said that love for her husband wasn´t the main reason she said yes. It was because they both loved God so much that they didn´t want to sin so they just got married???
Also that relationships are not like cars. Before u buy a car u should try it out first?
Excuse me but I´m not sleeping with my partner to "test" if his sexual performance is good enough for me. I won´t make the big decision based on... yes exactly. And if something doesn´t match my expectations I´m not yeeting my partner to "test" someone else. Cuz I can frikkin communicate.
Which is another thing that left me with a wtf face.
She said that sex before marriage doesn´t work because people don´t communicate and don´t talk about sex, what they like or dislike. Yes, that´s a big problem. But she thinks it gets suddenly magically solved by getting married?? "Excuse me I´m not your wife yet, we shouldn´t talk."
Why 2 stars? I love how she opened up and was able to share her experience. That´s it. Amen.
February 15, 2023
Such a strong and brave testimony. I've always wanted to read something like this by a Christian woman as these topics are usually covered by men and rarely directed to girls and young women, leaving a large demographic of Christians vulnerable to myths and false beliefs. We as the collective body of Christ need to address the matter of sex now in the modern era more than ever because someone always will and it's either the church or the media, there's no other way. That's why I admire this testimony and all it entails. I would have been beyond ashamed to share a testimony of sexual sin as the one Mo Isom shares in her book, which is incredibly vulnerable and honest without any polishing or twisting of the raw ugly truth of the devastating effects of following the world's model of sex instead of the Word i.e. God intended for it to be. That's the whole point of the book; to bring to light the conversations that are rarely discussed in church surrounding sex and purity especially when it concerns girls and women and I think she successfuly accomplished this task by weaving together what the Bible has to say with her personal experience from the depths of sin.
I loved the whole book especially that it heavily relies on scripture and quotes the Bible multiple times in each chapter to make its point, it just goes to show how the author wants to deliver the message of God, not her own words. My only issue was the first 2 chapters had a lot of redundancy to the point where I considered I'd drop reading the whole thing and could have been more concise.
I just wanna include some quotes that I loved from the book
We use sexual power and prowess and pleasure to search for affirmation and love because we’ve unknowingly cut ourselves off from the true affirmation and love we have already received from the start. We fail to see our own worth so we search for someone to assign it to us. We seek attention and praise—missing all that God has already said about us. Longing to know and feel that we’re worth something because we never knew we were originally worth everything through God’s incredible design.
From the need for affirmation that isn’t met comes a willingness to compromise in order to get the feedback we want. And from a willingness to compromise comes our desensitized ability to use our sexuality as a tool to get the attention we want. Since we long for an identity and are terrified of anonymity, we become willing to compromise anything for someone to tell us we’re good enough. And the easy, repetitive, and addicting use of our sexual power to leverage the selfish need we have for an affirmation of our worth ends up tangling us, as well as others, in the stranglehold of sin patterns that eventually prove to own us.
I know from my own life and from my personal testimony that what I was listening to, watching, being entertained by, and mindlessly consuming had a direct, devastating, and bondage-forming effect on me. The more I consumed visually, the more I was desensitized sexually. The more I used my right, freedom, and desire for visual fulfillment to rationalize my conviction, the riskier my behavior became. The more I thought I was competent and in control of the effects certain things were capable of having on me, the tighter the grip of the sin-braided rope around me. And as a result, even into college, porn was a massive struggle for me.
I think one of the most detrimental effects of sexual overexposure is that it ultimately changes the way we think about people. Far more than we even realize. Humans become objects and people become body parts. Individuals made in the image of a holy God ultimately become things to be used rather than people to be loved, valued, and seen. And when we come to a place where we are capable of dehumanizing others for our own sexual fulfillment and fixation, we’re ultimately at the point of not only harming others but draining our own soul of vitality.
Hurting people commune with hurting people. Dwellers in darkness find ease around others who “get it” and dwell in the darkness too. We don’t want to be asked hard questions. We don’t want to be challenged. We don’t want to be held accountable. Ultimately, it’s why, in the wake of my involvement with infidelity, I opted to stay mute. Temptation, peer pressure, and the settings we put ourselves in are some of the most dominant catalysts for the sin we find ourselves in. In 1 Corinthians 15:33 we are reminded not to be deceived, that “bad company corrupts good character.” But when we live a good percentage of our lives in the dark—and most, if not all, of our sexual lives in the darkness too—the bad company is exactly who we are drawn to.
Those who have never known any restraint, sexually—whether physically or by viewing pornography anytime the urge compelled them to—can step into marriage with the false sexpectation that their partner will always be able to meet their needs when they desire and just as they desire them to. The false sexpectation that sex is designed solely to pleasure you, to meet your needs, and to always be erotic, enticing, and adrenaline-filled can cause disappointment, tension, and complete divisiveness in marriage, especially. That kind of constant, illicit sex is just not the consistent reality when you’re mingling hearts and bodies with the same person for the rest of your life, rather than unpredictable hookups or the ease of a computer screen. A lack of sexual restraint in singleness can actually serve as one of the biggest false sexpectations in marriage. Those coming in with the most experience are surprisingly often the same ones who wrestle with the most disappointment when false sexpectations aren’t met.
God calls us to surrender and to self-control in singleness because surrender and self-control in marriage are required of us every single day. Sex is not a performance-based or self-serving act that is purely there to serve our own individual wants. It is the ultimate act of service to our partner. It’s an act of genuine love and generosity and vulnerability with the one we love. Ephesians 5:21 even calls us, as husband and wife, to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. If we don’t choose to submit our lives to God in singleness or dating relationships, we won’t know how to submit to one another in unity and marriage. Singleness is our training ground in discipline and perseverance. Struggles with sexual deviance in singleness only reflect a lack of self-control that will inevitably rear itself in marriage when the true tests from the enemy come.
I loved the whole book especially that it heavily relies on scripture and quotes the Bible multiple times in each chapter to make its point, it just goes to show how the author wants to deliver the message of God, not her own words. My only issue was the first 2 chapters had a lot of redundancy to the point where I considered I'd drop reading the whole thing and could have been more concise.
I just wanna include some quotes that I loved from the book
We use sexual power and prowess and pleasure to search for affirmation and love because we’ve unknowingly cut ourselves off from the true affirmation and love we have already received from the start. We fail to see our own worth so we search for someone to assign it to us. We seek attention and praise—missing all that God has already said about us. Longing to know and feel that we’re worth something because we never knew we were originally worth everything through God’s incredible design.
From the need for affirmation that isn’t met comes a willingness to compromise in order to get the feedback we want. And from a willingness to compromise comes our desensitized ability to use our sexuality as a tool to get the attention we want. Since we long for an identity and are terrified of anonymity, we become willing to compromise anything for someone to tell us we’re good enough. And the easy, repetitive, and addicting use of our sexual power to leverage the selfish need we have for an affirmation of our worth ends up tangling us, as well as others, in the stranglehold of sin patterns that eventually prove to own us.
I know from my own life and from my personal testimony that what I was listening to, watching, being entertained by, and mindlessly consuming had a direct, devastating, and bondage-forming effect on me. The more I consumed visually, the more I was desensitized sexually. The more I used my right, freedom, and desire for visual fulfillment to rationalize my conviction, the riskier my behavior became. The more I thought I was competent and in control of the effects certain things were capable of having on me, the tighter the grip of the sin-braided rope around me. And as a result, even into college, porn was a massive struggle for me.
I think one of the most detrimental effects of sexual overexposure is that it ultimately changes the way we think about people. Far more than we even realize. Humans become objects and people become body parts. Individuals made in the image of a holy God ultimately become things to be used rather than people to be loved, valued, and seen. And when we come to a place where we are capable of dehumanizing others for our own sexual fulfillment and fixation, we’re ultimately at the point of not only harming others but draining our own soul of vitality.
Hurting people commune with hurting people. Dwellers in darkness find ease around others who “get it” and dwell in the darkness too. We don’t want to be asked hard questions. We don’t want to be challenged. We don’t want to be held accountable. Ultimately, it’s why, in the wake of my involvement with infidelity, I opted to stay mute. Temptation, peer pressure, and the settings we put ourselves in are some of the most dominant catalysts for the sin we find ourselves in. In 1 Corinthians 15:33 we are reminded not to be deceived, that “bad company corrupts good character.” But when we live a good percentage of our lives in the dark—and most, if not all, of our sexual lives in the darkness too—the bad company is exactly who we are drawn to.
Those who have never known any restraint, sexually—whether physically or by viewing pornography anytime the urge compelled them to—can step into marriage with the false sexpectation that their partner will always be able to meet their needs when they desire and just as they desire them to. The false sexpectation that sex is designed solely to pleasure you, to meet your needs, and to always be erotic, enticing, and adrenaline-filled can cause disappointment, tension, and complete divisiveness in marriage, especially. That kind of constant, illicit sex is just not the consistent reality when you’re mingling hearts and bodies with the same person for the rest of your life, rather than unpredictable hookups or the ease of a computer screen. A lack of sexual restraint in singleness can actually serve as one of the biggest false sexpectations in marriage. Those coming in with the most experience are surprisingly often the same ones who wrestle with the most disappointment when false sexpectations aren’t met.
God calls us to surrender and to self-control in singleness because surrender and self-control in marriage are required of us every single day. Sex is not a performance-based or self-serving act that is purely there to serve our own individual wants. It is the ultimate act of service to our partner. It’s an act of genuine love and generosity and vulnerability with the one we love. Ephesians 5:21 even calls us, as husband and wife, to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. If we don’t choose to submit our lives to God in singleness or dating relationships, we won’t know how to submit to one another in unity and marriage. Singleness is our training ground in discipline and perseverance. Struggles with sexual deviance in singleness only reflect a lack of self-control that will inevitably rear itself in marriage when the true tests from the enemy come.
June 13, 2018
Though there are a few things that didn’t exactly align with my personal beliefs I did really appreciate the authors lessons she taught about intimacy in marriage and the sacredness and important-ness of sex in marriage. It was a good reminder of things I’d thought before, and a perspective I hadn’t thought before. I’m grateful for Gods plans and His blessings he gives us in the sacred marriage relationship.
July 16, 2020
I just finished this. And I literally have no words. Nope. Just kidding. I have one: needed. This book is so necessary. Thank you Mo, for speaking up about a topic the Church has forgotten.
I received an ARC of this book via the Publisher and NetGalley. Thoughts are my own.
I received an ARC of this book via the Publisher and NetGalley. Thoughts are my own.
April 16, 2018
You have to appreciate and be thankful for people like Mo Isom who bares her soul and worst secrets in Sex, Jesus and the Conversation the Church Forgot. She clearly has a compassion for young people and a concern for Christians who have jumped on board the secular idea that sex before marriage is okay. It isn't, and Isom gets to the heart of the matter by bravely sharing her own sexual testimony and pointing out why.
The secular refrain that "It's our body, our life, and our choices" is, as Isom points out, what everyone, especially Christian young people, have been conditioned to believe and therefore it has affected their behaviour and beliefs in regards to sex. As Isom says, "We compartmentalize our faith from our actions to serve our own desires. We often disregard the rule list and act according to impulse." And this is one of the main problems with sexuality promiscuity in the church today. The church says to its young people, "Just be good. Don't have sex until you are married." But they do not emphasize the reason why! It isn't about keeping yourself pure for "the one" it is so much more than that and until our young people (and older unmarried Christians as well) realize that, they will continue to fall into sin.
Sex is God's invention. It's comprised of physical, mental, emotional, and above all spiritual acts of connection designed by the Creator for the unity, pleasure, and reproduction of the very lives He created. Sex is a holy gift purely designed by a God who delights in lavishing His creations with every good and perfect blessing. It is a pure act given to us as a gift to enjoy and delight in under the divine guidance of the appropriate context, circumstances, and boundaries.
The author says, "When we exalt virginity as the goal and disassociate how purity plays any role, it's way too easy to lose ourselves in that gray area in between. I had missed the three most beautiful layers of purity. I had missed (1) the purity in God's design and design of me, (2) the purity in His redemption of me through Jesus, and (3) the true purpose of His call to purity in my conduct as a vessel He desired to use. . . Because of God's perfect and unobstructed purity, impurity and immorality simply can't exist in His presence. He is too holy. Too faultless. Too righteous to coexist with darkness. So impurity in our lives separates us from a perfectly pure God."
The church needs to stop emphasizing that sex is wrong and instead emphasize the purity of God and that as Christians we are now part of that purity, "called to be the very vessels responsible for reflecting God's truth, His love, and His instruction and design to the world."
I believe this is an important book for Christian parents to read with their teenagers and for Youth Leaders to use as a discussion guide on sexual morality and purity. I gave it four stars because the author tended to repeat herself and her point was made early on so that it seemed like the rest of the book was just filler. But I still believe in its message and that it should be a book in every Christian home.
Book provided courtesy of Baker Publishing and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
The secular refrain that "It's our body, our life, and our choices" is, as Isom points out, what everyone, especially Christian young people, have been conditioned to believe and therefore it has affected their behaviour and beliefs in regards to sex. As Isom says, "We compartmentalize our faith from our actions to serve our own desires. We often disregard the rule list and act according to impulse." And this is one of the main problems with sexuality promiscuity in the church today. The church says to its young people, "Just be good. Don't have sex until you are married." But they do not emphasize the reason why! It isn't about keeping yourself pure for "the one" it is so much more than that and until our young people (and older unmarried Christians as well) realize that, they will continue to fall into sin.
Sex is God's invention. It's comprised of physical, mental, emotional, and above all spiritual acts of connection designed by the Creator for the unity, pleasure, and reproduction of the very lives He created. Sex is a holy gift purely designed by a God who delights in lavishing His creations with every good and perfect blessing. It is a pure act given to us as a gift to enjoy and delight in under the divine guidance of the appropriate context, circumstances, and boundaries.
The author says, "When we exalt virginity as the goal and disassociate how purity plays any role, it's way too easy to lose ourselves in that gray area in between. I had missed the three most beautiful layers of purity. I had missed (1) the purity in God's design and design of me, (2) the purity in His redemption of me through Jesus, and (3) the true purpose of His call to purity in my conduct as a vessel He desired to use. . . Because of God's perfect and unobstructed purity, impurity and immorality simply can't exist in His presence. He is too holy. Too faultless. Too righteous to coexist with darkness. So impurity in our lives separates us from a perfectly pure God."
The church needs to stop emphasizing that sex is wrong and instead emphasize the purity of God and that as Christians we are now part of that purity, "called to be the very vessels responsible for reflecting God's truth, His love, and His instruction and design to the world."
I believe this is an important book for Christian parents to read with their teenagers and for Youth Leaders to use as a discussion guide on sexual morality and purity. I gave it four stars because the author tended to repeat herself and her point was made early on so that it seemed like the rest of the book was just filler. But I still believe in its message and that it should be a book in every Christian home.
Book provided courtesy of Baker Publishing and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
February 8, 2023
this book was SO GOOD & i don’t know how else to say it! i have never read anything that describes sex & relationships in a more beautiful & God-ordained way!! i have had the privilege of going to church since birth & feel these conversations have been alarmingly left out for most of my life. through this book, a lot of lies i was believing regarding sex came to light and caused me to have a much different view of this gift that ultimately came from God. i cannot recommend this read enough & think anyone—no matter where you are in life—should grab a copy asap! mo’s testimony was so vulnerable & so real, something that i feel you can’t find much of today. i’m so thankful she has chosen to speak up surrounding this topic & i already know it will be one of the best books i’ve read this year!!
April 8, 2020
4.5 stars. This was amazing! Would highly recommend it.
January 18, 2025
I started reading this as a parent, but it's incredibly applicable as a wife as well. I would say this is a must read for everyone. Highly recommended for the 18-20 year old window. It was heartbreaking and relatable. Her opinion and points about purity and modesty were spot on.
March 18, 2018
This is not the typical book I review, simply because I try to avoid having to write reviews on these subjects, but I think this is a very pertinent book with some thoughts we would do well to listen to. There are some practical things here both relating to sexuality as well as relating to life in general.
Mo is a former All-American goalkeeper for the Louisiana State University soccer team. She was also very sexually promiscuous while boldly proclaiming her commitment to virginity. Exposed to pornography at 8 years old by finding pictures in her dad's truck, she became addicted. This led over into her relationships with boys where she would go as far as she could while still being able to hold on to her virgin title. This would be one conversation the church could do better at. She was told it was good to remain a virgin until she got married, but neither the church nor her parents gave the deeper reason: purity. She saw it as a thing to accomplish, not a heart matter or a commitment to God. She missed the why of remaining a virgin.
I was blown away by the stats she gave on pornography. Yeah, I knew it was a big money making industry, but I had no idea how big. In one single calendar year, "people watched 4.6 billion hours of pornography at just one website. That is 524,000 years of porn - 17,000 complete lifetimes. Just in 2016." The other thing that staggered me a bit was how many women are exposed to porn and view porn regularly. Moving into adulthood, about 18% of women will admit to viewing porn once a week and 49% of those who view porn see it as a healthy way of expressing their sexuality. Clearly, we have a big problem on our hands.
This was good for me to realize that we need to have these difficult conversations. Our children need to know the why behind the "don't do this" rules. We need to be looking out for the next generation both male and female. Mo will say she was just another statistic, she fit right into these categories. Then God got a hold of her. She goes into that more in her first book called "Wreck my Life" She was able to stay single and free until she met her future husband, then the cycle of going as far as she could began again. And I don't want to tell her whole story.
Another thing she touches on is sexpectations in marriage, both for those who are virgins and those who are not. She has some good things to say there as well.
A lot of the things she says can be applied to other areas of life as well. In two of the final paragraphs in the book, she says this and I think this is so applicable to all of life and the temptations we face and sins we commit. "I don't blame the conversations that the church forgot as the catalysts of the roller-coaster ride that was my sexual testimony. I don't blame the men involved....I don't blame family....
"My sexual struggles were a result, from the very beginning, of my sin-nature. My wants. My thoughts. My actions. My pride. My choices. My rebellion. My desperation for affirmation. My desires. My decision to make myself the god of my own story."
I appreciated how she took the full responsibility and that is what all of us must do. God is willing to redeem our stories just as He was willing and ready to redeem Mo's story.
I received this book from Baker Books and was not required to write a positive review.
Mo is a former All-American goalkeeper for the Louisiana State University soccer team. She was also very sexually promiscuous while boldly proclaiming her commitment to virginity. Exposed to pornography at 8 years old by finding pictures in her dad's truck, she became addicted. This led over into her relationships with boys where she would go as far as she could while still being able to hold on to her virgin title. This would be one conversation the church could do better at. She was told it was good to remain a virgin until she got married, but neither the church nor her parents gave the deeper reason: purity. She saw it as a thing to accomplish, not a heart matter or a commitment to God. She missed the why of remaining a virgin.
I was blown away by the stats she gave on pornography. Yeah, I knew it was a big money making industry, but I had no idea how big. In one single calendar year, "people watched 4.6 billion hours of pornography at just one website. That is 524,000 years of porn - 17,000 complete lifetimes. Just in 2016." The other thing that staggered me a bit was how many women are exposed to porn and view porn regularly. Moving into adulthood, about 18% of women will admit to viewing porn once a week and 49% of those who view porn see it as a healthy way of expressing their sexuality. Clearly, we have a big problem on our hands.
This was good for me to realize that we need to have these difficult conversations. Our children need to know the why behind the "don't do this" rules. We need to be looking out for the next generation both male and female. Mo will say she was just another statistic, she fit right into these categories. Then God got a hold of her. She goes into that more in her first book called "Wreck my Life" She was able to stay single and free until she met her future husband, then the cycle of going as far as she could began again. And I don't want to tell her whole story.
Another thing she touches on is sexpectations in marriage, both for those who are virgins and those who are not. She has some good things to say there as well.
A lot of the things she says can be applied to other areas of life as well. In two of the final paragraphs in the book, she says this and I think this is so applicable to all of life and the temptations we face and sins we commit. "I don't blame the conversations that the church forgot as the catalysts of the roller-coaster ride that was my sexual testimony. I don't blame the men involved....I don't blame family....
"My sexual struggles were a result, from the very beginning, of my sin-nature. My wants. My thoughts. My actions. My pride. My choices. My rebellion. My desperation for affirmation. My desires. My decision to make myself the god of my own story."
I appreciated how she took the full responsibility and that is what all of us must do. God is willing to redeem our stories just as He was willing and ready to redeem Mo's story.
I received this book from Baker Books and was not required to write a positive review.
May 29, 2021
I feel like the title of this book is misleading. I personally feel that the Church has dropped the ball when it comes to speaking about sex - to all ages, not just teenagers. And I also think Christian "purity culture" can be very damaging to young women. But, in this book Isom talks more about her own personal story and basically how she fell into bad behaviors because the Church didn't really talk to her about her own worth to God and the Biblical reasons behind purity (not just sexual purity either). While her story is sadly common, I don't think she gave a lot of real advice on how things could be taught better in churches today. I was also surprised to find that at the end of the book she's only been married for 3 years - I guess I expected a little more longevity from someone offering advice on sex in the godly view of marriage.
She also had several passages that seemed to imply modesty would prevent sexual assault/lust which just further blames women for men's behavior. Biblical purity is not just for women - it's for EVERYONE. And there was an off-putting analogy about are you a Walmart girl or a Dolce & Gabbana girl - basically cheap and easy vs. classy and pricey? I kind of see her point, but again this puts all the onus on women. I thought she was brave to tell her personal story, but otherwise I didn't feel like this would really help anyone trying to do better addressing these issues with their own children or in their church. She also brought up that her father had pornography in the house and she was exposed to it (accidentally) at a young age, but she never addresses did her mother know about this? Her father committed suicide - did it have anything to do with an addiction to pornography? etc. Overall, not great in my opinion other than she did a good job of pointing out that so many of us fail to recognize our inherent God-given worth and try to find validation from others (often in a sexual way) instead of through God.
She also had several passages that seemed to imply modesty would prevent sexual assault/lust which just further blames women for men's behavior. Biblical purity is not just for women - it's for EVERYONE. And there was an off-putting analogy about are you a Walmart girl or a Dolce & Gabbana girl - basically cheap and easy vs. classy and pricey? I kind of see her point, but again this puts all the onus on women. I thought she was brave to tell her personal story, but otherwise I didn't feel like this would really help anyone trying to do better addressing these issues with their own children or in their church. She also brought up that her father had pornography in the house and she was exposed to it (accidentally) at a young age, but she never addresses did her mother know about this? Her father committed suicide - did it have anything to do with an addiction to pornography? etc. Overall, not great in my opinion other than she did a good job of pointing out that so many of us fail to recognize our inherent God-given worth and try to find validation from others (often in a sexual way) instead of through God.
February 23, 2025
I liked the way she broke down society’s expectations for how we value ourselves versus the way God values us. She did a good job of explaining the impact social media, pornography, and other social constructs have on our self-worth and the impact they have on our relationships with those around us.
Overall, very good book. But I will admit that I didn’t like the way she writes; something about her syntax and verbiage. I lost count how many times she used the word “dehydrated.”
Overall, very good book. But I will admit that I didn’t like the way she writes; something about her syntax and verbiage. I lost count how many times she used the word “dehydrated.”
April 7, 2019
It is so hard to write a review when you are under so many impressions. But I'll try. Finally someone was bold enough to speak up: to say that girls are fighting with same issues as guys; to state what is the difference between virginity and purity; to be vulnerable and courageous at the same time and share intimate details that will touch and speak to others, and move their broken hearts towards healing; to name the conversations about sexuality that churches have forgotten to address: real why(s) for waiting? purpose of sexuality and sex? how to deal with wrong sexpecations? and many more; For all this reasons Mo, I am grateful for you, and your story/journey, it touched my heart in so many ways. And I will ponder on some of the highlighted parts for longer time, that's for sure. If you are looking for an honest book about the topics I mentioned above - I highly recommend you this book. In my life, it was brought just on time.
June 7, 2019
A great read for any season -single, dating, married. God is using her story to bring healing to many women, no doubt, as well as a fresh perspective on what God-honoring marriage is. It’s worth a read!!
January 14, 2023
Wow what a book. Left me so inspired!
The female author is super courageous to openly share her journey through sexual sin and struggles and eventual redemption and healing. She covers a wide range of topics like porn, physical intimacy in relationships, dressing immodestly, the feminine obsession with guys, hiding in shame and isolation, virginity, purity, and unrealistic sexpectations in marriage.
She also uncovers the wounds, insecurities, motives, cravings for worth and connection that drive sinful sexual behaviour and how oftentimes the problem is not the behaviour itself but that which lies beneath the surface.
Her tone of voice was full of empathy and non-judgement but over and over again she communicated the mercy and love of God amidst our sin.
I LOVED the female perspective because too often in church the conversation is by men and for men. It amazes me how the fact that women are sexual beings too (surprise surprise, not just men!!) is completely overlooked in church upbringing. Like hello, women don't just become sexual beings after marriage, we are sexual beings before marriage as well, with desires, struggles and questions.
Where is the church in this conversation?
Throughout the book, I've been wondering how different the stories would be if written from the perspective of the average young Coptic woman living in Egypt, whose first experience of her sexuality is through the confusing voices of society and friends simulatenously telling her to cover up to protect herself on the streets AND show some skin to get a guy's attention AND/OR experiencing sexual harrasment, catcalling, female objectification in the media and shame due to struggling with sexual sin.
Imagine trying to cultivate a healthy view of sexuality in that climate. Wow.
Where is the church in this conversation?
This book is important for the individual and for the larger scale, as a church we can't keep silent about this because of the direction we're headed in as a society. For sunday school servants, who know that the younger generation are naturally more curious, we wouldn't afford the luxury of treating sex as a hush hush topic when it's being openly paraded in the media and schools with all the wrong motives.
We need more conversations on sex because it is not just a topic for married people. Unmarried people are also sexual beings and need to learn how to redirect their sexual energies NOT suppress them.
It was interesting when she mentioned that she thought that once she got married she wouldn't struggle anymore but she discovered that marriage was just the beginning of healing her sexual brokenness.
I absolutely loved the part at the end when she described the beauty and power of sex within marriage and its role in unifying the husband and wife in many ways.
The book is a beautiful reminder of redemption. The author shows through her own story how God does take people on a very personal journey to free them from sexual sin. How God can turn everything into good, even our sins. God can give chastity and virtuous expression of sexuality instead of weak impulses, a healthy holy view of sex instead of shame and guilt due to sin, purity instead of lust and an increased respect for the opposite sex rather than objectifying them selfishly.
I dream that one day I would work on something that opens up that dialogue in the church community.
Always remembering even in our weaknesses, our struggles, and the painful process of dying to self and turning from sin-filled sexual things "once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!"(Mic. 7: 19).
The female author is super courageous to openly share her journey through sexual sin and struggles and eventual redemption and healing. She covers a wide range of topics like porn, physical intimacy in relationships, dressing immodestly, the feminine obsession with guys, hiding in shame and isolation, virginity, purity, and unrealistic sexpectations in marriage.
She also uncovers the wounds, insecurities, motives, cravings for worth and connection that drive sinful sexual behaviour and how oftentimes the problem is not the behaviour itself but that which lies beneath the surface.
Her tone of voice was full of empathy and non-judgement but over and over again she communicated the mercy and love of God amidst our sin.
I LOVED the female perspective because too often in church the conversation is by men and for men. It amazes me how the fact that women are sexual beings too (surprise surprise, not just men!!) is completely overlooked in church upbringing. Like hello, women don't just become sexual beings after marriage, we are sexual beings before marriage as well, with desires, struggles and questions.
Where is the church in this conversation?
Throughout the book, I've been wondering how different the stories would be if written from the perspective of the average young Coptic woman living in Egypt, whose first experience of her sexuality is through the confusing voices of society and friends simulatenously telling her to cover up to protect herself on the streets AND show some skin to get a guy's attention AND/OR experiencing sexual harrasment, catcalling, female objectification in the media and shame due to struggling with sexual sin.
Imagine trying to cultivate a healthy view of sexuality in that climate. Wow.
Where is the church in this conversation?
This book is important for the individual and for the larger scale, as a church we can't keep silent about this because of the direction we're headed in as a society. For sunday school servants, who know that the younger generation are naturally more curious, we wouldn't afford the luxury of treating sex as a hush hush topic when it's being openly paraded in the media and schools with all the wrong motives.
We need more conversations on sex because it is not just a topic for married people. Unmarried people are also sexual beings and need to learn how to redirect their sexual energies NOT suppress them.
It was interesting when she mentioned that she thought that once she got married she wouldn't struggle anymore but she discovered that marriage was just the beginning of healing her sexual brokenness.
I absolutely loved the part at the end when she described the beauty and power of sex within marriage and its role in unifying the husband and wife in many ways.
The book is a beautiful reminder of redemption. The author shows through her own story how God does take people on a very personal journey to free them from sexual sin. How God can turn everything into good, even our sins. God can give chastity and virtuous expression of sexuality instead of weak impulses, a healthy holy view of sex instead of shame and guilt due to sin, purity instead of lust and an increased respect for the opposite sex rather than objectifying them selfishly.
I dream that one day I would work on something that opens up that dialogue in the church community.
Always remembering even in our weaknesses, our struggles, and the painful process of dying to self and turning from sin-filled sexual things "once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!"(Mic. 7: 19).
January 2, 2020
Genre: Christian Living, Christian non-fiction, relationships
Content: Well... obviously this book is all about sex, so there is conversation about rape, porn, seduction, etc. At one point she uses the analogy of sex being the middle finger and you use it against satan.
Age Range: I recommend it for 16+ or maybe 13+ with an adult reading it with them.
My Rating: 4 stars
Conclusion:
Want a book that will challenge you? This will do it. When I first started the book, I was wondering what type of conversations the church has forgotten. I've read many books on relationships, sex, and Jesus centered-relationships. But this is one of the few that is completely open and honest, yet centered around Jesus. It was upfront, brutal, yet full of love. Sex is a conversation the church rarely talks about (especially the topic that sex is a gift from God - not always a bad thing). I learned quite a bit more than I thought I would and definitely think any girl should read it (whether you are single, dating, or married). I highly recommend this book.
Content: Well... obviously this book is all about sex, so there is conversation about rape, porn, seduction, etc. At one point she uses the analogy of sex being the middle finger and you use it against satan.
Age Range: I recommend it for 16+ or maybe 13+ with an adult reading it with them.
My Rating: 4 stars
Conclusion:
Want a book that will challenge you? This will do it. When I first started the book, I was wondering what type of conversations the church has forgotten. I've read many books on relationships, sex, and Jesus centered-relationships. But this is one of the few that is completely open and honest, yet centered around Jesus. It was upfront, brutal, yet full of love. Sex is a conversation the church rarely talks about (especially the topic that sex is a gift from God - not always a bad thing). I learned quite a bit more than I thought I would and definitely think any girl should read it (whether you are single, dating, or married). I highly recommend this book.
July 14, 2021
I read this book with my wife, who’s already read it once. She insisted on reading it to me out loud. What a powerful, God-fueled, life-wrecking, grace-healing testimony of the uncomfortable truths that so much of Modern Christianity is so scared or disinterested in discussing; of the real truths of sex, of modesty, pornography, virginity, chastity, marriage, all of it! I would recommend this to the Christian most deeply entrenched in the Lord’s camp; to the parent that is afraid of talking about their child’s identity to God as a sexual being; to the man or woman so lost in the hurt of sexual sin, as I have been. Mo Isom’s conviction is not of telling her story; but to tell the world God’s story of his reckless, unending, glorious love. An amazing book.
June 23, 2020
Mo vulnerably shares her story as someone who held tightly to her virginity as a “good Christian should” yet totally missed the call for purity and the “why” behind it all. She illuminates the “why” behind the pursuit of purity and realigns our wandering hearts to Jesus. Mo also does not forget the married person & the struggles/temptations/sin/purity that comes with marriage. It is a breath of fresh air that the Church & Christians desperately need.
January 1, 2021
5 stars. This was so good. One of the best books I've read in the Christian nonfiction genre this year. Review to come.
May 28, 2018
This a great book on the topic of sexual purity. I think it relates well to women in all seasons of life, single or married!
September 25, 2024
I very much enjoyed this book. It was a condemning book in the good sense, the way that makes you think harder about yourself and about how God sees you and forgives you. A very encouraging book that gives better context and safe guards to sexual immorality than the standard “just don’t do it”; it also brings up how that approach can be a hindrance to a married couple. Would recommend
February 17, 2020
I deeply appreciate Mo's willingness to write this book, going into detail about her own struggles in order to bring this topic to light in the Christian realm. I love that she is brutally honest about sin, but that she is also constantly reminding Christians that their struggle in sexual sin is fully redeemed by Christ, and that there is forgiveness. She balances the struggle with sin and our redemption very well.
The reason I only gave this three stars is 1. I had a problem with several bits of her theology. It was nothing major, but it was consistent enough throughout the book that it troubled me; 2. She has a very traditional view of the purity culture, one that I grew up in. There are parts of the book that feel a bit fundamentalist (e.g. people who are sexually broken being "damaged goods") that seem to go against the rest of what she says about Christ's redemption.
Overall, this is a book that I am using and will continue to use as a resource in the ministry work that I do, but I would not recommend it to a less mature Christian who would be less likely to be able to parse through the little bit of problematic content found within the book. For someone who is more familiar with this topic and is willing to overlook the few bits that aren't great, this is an incredible resource to help Christian women discuss their sexual struggles.
The reason I only gave this three stars is 1. I had a problem with several bits of her theology. It was nothing major, but it was consistent enough throughout the book that it troubled me; 2. She has a very traditional view of the purity culture, one that I grew up in. There are parts of the book that feel a bit fundamentalist (e.g. people who are sexually broken being "damaged goods") that seem to go against the rest of what she says about Christ's redemption.
Overall, this is a book that I am using and will continue to use as a resource in the ministry work that I do, but I would not recommend it to a less mature Christian who would be less likely to be able to parse through the little bit of problematic content found within the book. For someone who is more familiar with this topic and is willing to overlook the few bits that aren't great, this is an incredible resource to help Christian women discuss their sexual struggles.
March 6, 2018
“Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot” - Mo Isom
Wow the title alone makes you stop in your tracks and think. Really think. This is a subject you don’t hear people talking about often or really at all. When in reality WE NEED TO BE. Thankfully someone did. Mo stepped up and used her story, a story that could be very similar to yours, or mine, someone you know, or maybe it’s nowhere close. I know for me personally this book hit home on so many different levels, I laughed, I cried, and I felt a HUGE HUGE weight lifted off of my chest when I was finished reading it.
“Redemption finds us where we are, and it’s waiting here for you.” - Mo Isom
It’s raw, emotional, REAL, and POWERFUL all in one. This book is going to help so many people and touch so many lives! There are NO AGE LIMITS!!! It’s for the single people, the married couple, the divorced people, the widowed, the moms, and the dads. THE LIST GOES ON! EVERYONE NEEDS THIS BOOK!
You've HELPED me more than you know. I feel like I’m a better person after reading this book. I will never be able to thank Mo enough for the opportunity she has given me. Being part of the launch team for this amazing book has been a life changing experience for me.
Wow the title alone makes you stop in your tracks and think. Really think. This is a subject you don’t hear people talking about often or really at all. When in reality WE NEED TO BE. Thankfully someone did. Mo stepped up and used her story, a story that could be very similar to yours, or mine, someone you know, or maybe it’s nowhere close. I know for me personally this book hit home on so many different levels, I laughed, I cried, and I felt a HUGE HUGE weight lifted off of my chest when I was finished reading it.
“Redemption finds us where we are, and it’s waiting here for you.” - Mo Isom
It’s raw, emotional, REAL, and POWERFUL all in one. This book is going to help so many people and touch so many lives! There are NO AGE LIMITS!!! It’s for the single people, the married couple, the divorced people, the widowed, the moms, and the dads. THE LIST GOES ON! EVERYONE NEEDS THIS BOOK!
You've HELPED me more than you know. I feel like I’m a better person after reading this book. I will never be able to thank Mo enough for the opportunity she has given me. Being part of the launch team for this amazing book has been a life changing experience for me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 332 reviews