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Zerbrochenes Glas
Im Alter von sechsundzwanzig Jahren geht Gordon Stafford davon aus, dass seine Tage gezählt sind. Zumindest hofft er das. Vor zwei Jahren kam durch seine Schuld bei einem Autounfall ein Mann ums Leben. Seither plagen ihn Schuldgefühle und Selbstmordgedanken.
Dann bewahrt ihn Squirt – ein Obdachloser, der sein eigenes Päckchen zu tragen hat – vor einem schrecklichen Schicksal. Über Nacht findet Gordon nicht nur ein neues Licht, dem er folgen kann und vielleicht sogar den Mut, zu leben, sondern er begreift auch, dass vielleicht am Ende des Tunnels die Liebe auf ihn wartet.
Gordon hätte nie gedacht, dass er einen Weg finden würde, sich selbst zu vergeben. Doch indem er das tut, öffnet er sein Herz – für die Liebe eines Mannes, den er am meisten verletzt hat.
Dann bewahrt ihn Squirt – ein Obdachloser, der sein eigenes Päckchen zu tragen hat – vor einem schrecklichen Schicksal. Über Nacht findet Gordon nicht nur ein neues Licht, dem er folgen kann und vielleicht sogar den Mut, zu leben, sondern er begreift auch, dass vielleicht am Ende des Tunnels die Liebe auf ihn wartet.
Gordon hätte nie gedacht, dass er einen Weg finden würde, sich selbst zu vergeben. Doch indem er das tut, öffnet er sein Herz – für die Liebe eines Mannes, den er am meisten verletzt hat.
280 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 8, 2014
4 people are currently reading
410 people want to read
About the author
John Inman
42 books441 followersA Lambda Literary Award finalist and the author of over forty novels, John has been writing fiction for as long as he can remember. Born on a small farm in Indiana, he now resides in San Diego, California where he spends his time gardening, pampering his pets, hiking and biking the trails and canyons of San Diego, and of course, writing. He and his partner share a passion for theater, books, film, and the continuing fight for marriage equality. If you would like to know more about John, check out his website at----
http://www.johninmanauthor.com/John_I... or follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/john.inman.79
http://www.johninmanauthor.com/John_I... or follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/john.inman.79
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 95 reviews
November 17, 2014
2 stars. DNF @51%. Review posted November 17, 2014
Not.
In a nutshell
Gordon Stafford, dubbed the Most Accurate Weatherman, was totally shit-faced when he caused a horrible accident with his car. The other driver was dead instantly. Gordon was convicted and spent a year in prison. Now with his career destroyed, he's working at Mama's Soup Kitchen, doing community service and trying to atone for his wrongs.
So, these are the bare bones. It started off good and I actually liked the writing except when the author took a few detours into Sapsville Light. It's unfortunate, however, that Sapsville Light turned into something much worse. Some of you know that I have no tolerance for cheesy writing. And Head-on plowed right into Cheese Fest…er…head-on. Forgive me the little pun. Gordon didn't appeal very much to me because, while he was willing to atone for his deadly mistake, he came off as pretty pathetic, wallowing in a heap of shards, unable to put his life back together. As a matter of fact, he was in a relentless downward spiral, mulling over suicide on a regular basis. But then, will wonders never cease! Gordon, who said of himself that he wasn't an alcoholic, yet his hands were shaking from withdrawal symptoms nonetheless, went from flat out drunk to stone cold sober within a blink of an eye (yep, I'm slightly exaggerating but still). I thought that was quite astounding considering the fact that he was slurping liquor all the time. We'll have to give credit to Squirt and his gentleness that worked miracles, though.
It's bad enough that I'm breaking a court order by drinking every night of the week.
What bugged me as well was how the author made use of Squirt's shy and innocent personality, which stood out in stark contrast to Gordon's selfish (former) behavior, and construed a cheesy backdrop. Everything Squirt did was altruistic, gentle and sweet. Thus, Gordon found his savior…in Squirt.
"Maybe I did find God," Gordon said. "Or the next best thing."
Mama Davis tilted her head, her own eyes misting up now. "What's the next best thing to God, honey? Tell me. I wanna know."
"A friend," Gordon said. "The next best thing to God is a friend."
I found it strange that Squirt was portrayed in a very childlike way. He was pristine and beautiful. The author mentioned Squirt's assets numerous times. Squirt was so sweet, kind, innocent and shy. He took Gordon's hand softly in his. He spoke softly, he was pure.
BTW, Squirt giggled. He. Giggled. *eye-roll*
Squirt's pale, pale hair…
Gentle Squirt with the white-blond hair and the expressive hands. The simple way he lived his life. The kindness. The sweet smile and heart-stopping beauty. The childlike innocence.
Gordon gave a deep, shuddering sigh, expending all his effort to center his thought on Squirt's face. On Squirt's goodness. And it was as if Squirt helped him do it, pulling Gordon's thoughts toward him. Bringing Gordon closer to Squirt's heat, letting Gordon gather strength and comfort from it.
The last thought that touches his mind before sleep overtook him was Squirt's easy smile and crystal clear eyes, as innocent and blue as a California sky. Both exhibited such innocence, such clarity of goodness, it was almost heartbreaking to contemplate them.
And he succeeded in keeping the memories at bay by remembering Squirt: how he spoke, how he ate, how he reached out so often just to touch. The kindness in his eyes, the softness of his voice, the warmth of his hand.
It was during one of those smiling moments of remembering Squirt's goodness, Squirt's sweetness, Squirt's sexiness, that the gun in Gordon's bathroom drawer was banished to a shoebox, and the shoebox was stuffed all the way to the back of the top shelf in his bedroom closet.
Squirt's slight body and big dick created a perfect storm of beauty in Gordon's eyes.
Excuse me but what kind of analogy is that? Of course the short (he's only 5.5) and childlike man did have a big dick. *eye-roll*
Squirt emitted a bubbling giggle since the water was aimed directly at his face.
His mouth played a melody of desire that stirred Gordon to new heights.
And Baba's mouth played the swan song.
The cheesy writing wasn't my main reason to throw in the towel. I had my suspicions that A friend confirmed my theory and I'm glad I didn't read the entire book because I'm just not a believer in fairytales. As I saw it, the plot was simply too predictable and unrealistic. Looking at the glowing reviews, you shouldn't feel put off by my opinion, though. I can see why so many readers loved it. It just wasn't for me.
To wrap it up on a conciliatory note I will say this: compared to my latest read Out of the Box Awakening, Head-on was pretty much stellar. There is that.
Not.
In a nutshell
Gordon Stafford, dubbed the Most Accurate Weatherman, was totally shit-faced when he caused a horrible accident with his car. The other driver was dead instantly. Gordon was convicted and spent a year in prison. Now with his career destroyed, he's working at Mama's Soup Kitchen, doing community service and trying to atone for his wrongs.
So, these are the bare bones. It started off good and I actually liked the writing except when the author took a few detours into Sapsville Light. It's unfortunate, however, that Sapsville Light turned into something much worse. Some of you know that I have no tolerance for cheesy writing. And Head-on plowed right into Cheese Fest…er…head-on. Forgive me the little pun. Gordon didn't appeal very much to me because, while he was willing to atone for his deadly mistake, he came off as pretty pathetic, wallowing in a heap of shards, unable to put his life back together. As a matter of fact, he was in a relentless downward spiral, mulling over suicide on a regular basis. But then, will wonders never cease! Gordon, who said of himself that he wasn't an alcoholic, yet his hands were shaking from withdrawal symptoms nonetheless, went from flat out drunk to stone cold sober within a blink of an eye (yep, I'm slightly exaggerating but still). I thought that was quite astounding considering the fact that he was slurping liquor all the time. We'll have to give credit to Squirt and his gentleness that worked miracles, though.
It's bad enough that I'm breaking a court order by drinking every night of the week.
What bugged me as well was how the author made use of Squirt's shy and innocent personality, which stood out in stark contrast to Gordon's selfish (former) behavior, and construed a cheesy backdrop. Everything Squirt did was altruistic, gentle and sweet. Thus, Gordon found his savior…in Squirt.
"Maybe I did find God," Gordon said. "Or the next best thing."
Mama Davis tilted her head, her own eyes misting up now. "What's the next best thing to God, honey? Tell me. I wanna know."
"A friend," Gordon said. "The next best thing to God is a friend."
I found it strange that Squirt was portrayed in a very childlike way. He was pristine and beautiful. The author mentioned Squirt's assets numerous times. Squirt was so sweet, kind, innocent and shy. He took Gordon's hand softly in his. He spoke softly, he was pure.
BTW, Squirt giggled. He. Giggled. *eye-roll*
Squirt's pale, pale hair…
Gentle Squirt with the white-blond hair and the expressive hands. The simple way he lived his life. The kindness. The sweet smile and heart-stopping beauty. The childlike innocence.
Gordon gave a deep, shuddering sigh, expending all his effort to center his thought on Squirt's face. On Squirt's goodness. And it was as if Squirt helped him do it, pulling Gordon's thoughts toward him. Bringing Gordon closer to Squirt's heat, letting Gordon gather strength and comfort from it.
The last thought that touches his mind before sleep overtook him was Squirt's easy smile and crystal clear eyes, as innocent and blue as a California sky. Both exhibited such innocence, such clarity of goodness, it was almost heartbreaking to contemplate them.
And he succeeded in keeping the memories at bay by remembering Squirt: how he spoke, how he ate, how he reached out so often just to touch. The kindness in his eyes, the softness of his voice, the warmth of his hand.
It was during one of those smiling moments of remembering Squirt's goodness, Squirt's sweetness, Squirt's sexiness, that the gun in Gordon's bathroom drawer was banished to a shoebox, and the shoebox was stuffed all the way to the back of the top shelf in his bedroom closet.
Squirt's slight body and big dick created a perfect storm of beauty in Gordon's eyes.
Excuse me but what kind of analogy is that? Of course the short (he's only 5.5) and childlike man did have a big dick. *eye-roll*
Squirt emitted a bubbling giggle since the water was aimed directly at his face.
His mouth played a melody of desire that stirred Gordon to new heights.
And Baba's mouth played the swan song.
The cheesy writing wasn't my main reason to throw in the towel. I had my suspicions that A friend confirmed my theory and I'm glad I didn't read the entire book because I'm just not a believer in fairytales. As I saw it, the plot was simply too predictable and unrealistic. Looking at the glowing reviews, you shouldn't feel put off by my opinion, though. I can see why so many readers loved it. It just wasn't for me.
To wrap it up on a conciliatory note I will say this: compared to my latest read Out of the Box Awakening, Head-on was pretty much stellar. There is that.
January 30, 2015
4.5 Lost and Found Again Stars
There are not enough words.
John Inman used them on.
Brilliant, evocative, poignant, heartrending: This is the story of two lost souls whose lives are intertwined in inexplicable ways and who, against the odds, make each other whole.
This is a love story.
This is a story about forgiveness. And redemption.
And about pain so deep, all you can do is forget.
Gordon is going through the motions. Once cocky, rich, and living the high life, Gordon made one grave error in judgement, and it changed his life forever.
Now Gordon works at a soup kitchen during the day and falls asleep with the bottle every night. Shame and guilt eat away at his soul, and the gun is always there, waiting.
Then Gordon meets Squirt, a destitute young man, at the soup kitchen. Squirt is innocent and beautiful, but there's something shattered inside him that calls to Gordon. He wants to hold Squirt, heal him, and maybe heal himself.
Inman writes beautifully. His characters are richly drawn, and there are several sensual, tender scenes as the men explore their love for each other. I also liked the secondary characters, particularly Mama Davis, the woman who runs the soup kitchen, who was a gem and so damn wise.
This is not an easy story. It will make you think, and it will make you cry.
It will force you to tackle an ethical dilemma. It will ask you to judge and forgive. But it will also make your heart sing, and give you hope.
There are not enough words.
John Inman used them on.
Brilliant, evocative, poignant, heartrending: This is the story of two lost souls whose lives are intertwined in inexplicable ways and who, against the odds, make each other whole.
This is a love story.
This is a story about forgiveness. And redemption.
And about pain so deep, all you can do is forget.
Gordon is going through the motions. Once cocky, rich, and living the high life, Gordon made one grave error in judgement, and it changed his life forever.
Now Gordon works at a soup kitchen during the day and falls asleep with the bottle every night. Shame and guilt eat away at his soul, and the gun is always there, waiting.
Then Gordon meets Squirt, a destitute young man, at the soup kitchen. Squirt is innocent and beautiful, but there's something shattered inside him that calls to Gordon. He wants to hold Squirt, heal him, and maybe heal himself.
Inman writes beautifully. His characters are richly drawn, and there are several sensual, tender scenes as the men explore their love for each other. I also liked the secondary characters, particularly Mama Davis, the woman who runs the soup kitchen, who was a gem and so damn wise.
This is not an easy story. It will make you think, and it will make you cry.
It will force you to tackle an ethical dilemma. It will ask you to judge and forgive. But it will also make your heart sing, and give you hope.
It was as if he were balanced on the edge of a knife and could fall either way - into happiness or back to hell.
July 28, 2014
BR HERE - MONDAY 07/14/2014 - with Friends
Can't wait to dive in!
After the dive with my friends, the review!
AMAZING story, amazing book!!
“Two wounded souls…”
This book is about life changes, in a minute life can turn in to hell, and leave interior wounds that don´t stop bleeding, and even punishment and atonement are not enough, they eat away at your soul until it strangled the very life out, but sometimes is possible to risen above it and still managed to find goodness, compassion, kindness and a future.
That was what Gordon found in Gentle Squirt with the white-blond hair and the expressive hands - the kindness, the sweet smile and heart-stopping beauty, the childlike innocence, a way to learn to heal… made peace with his wounds!
An absolute amazing beautiful heart wrenching story … read it HIGLY, HIGLY and HIGLY recommended!
Can't wait to dive in!
After the dive with my friends, the review!
AMAZING story, amazing book!!
“Two wounded souls…”
This book is about life changes, in a minute life can turn in to hell, and leave interior wounds that don´t stop bleeding, and even punishment and atonement are not enough, they eat away at your soul until it strangled the very life out, but sometimes is possible to risen above it and still managed to find goodness, compassion, kindness and a future.
That was what Gordon found in Gentle Squirt with the white-blond hair and the expressive hands - the kindness, the sweet smile and heart-stopping beauty, the childlike innocence, a way to learn to heal… made peace with his wounds!
An absolute amazing beautiful heart wrenching story … read it HIGLY, HIGLY and HIGLY recommended!
July 22, 2014
Simply stunning...
It's a stunning and heart wrenching story about second chances, forgiveness and redemption. A story about two broken men who bring each other back to life and together find forgiveness and love.
I loved both Gordon and Squirt, how sweet and tender are with each other, how they want to heal each other, how in the end love was what changed everything for them. This story was definitely emotional and sometimes oh so heart breaking.
STUNNING
LOVED
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
BR with lovely friends here
"Is there a possibility of love waiting at the end of the tunnel? "
"Gentle Squirt with the white-blond hair and the expressive hands. The simple way he lived his life. The kindness. The sweet smile and heart-stopping beauty. The childlike innocence."
"It was as if he were balanced on the edge of a knife and could fall either way—into happiness or back to hell where he was before Squirt came along to save him."
It's a stunning and heart wrenching story about second chances, forgiveness and redemption. A story about two broken men who bring each other back to life and together find forgiveness and love.
"I know you love me, Gordon. I knew it before you spoke the words just now. I can sense your love for me every time we’re together.
I loved both Gordon and Squirt, how sweet and tender are with each other, how they want to heal each other, how in the end love was what changed everything for them. This story was definitely emotional and sometimes oh so heart breaking.
"Meeting you gave me my life back. Loving you gave me a reason for living it."
STUNNING
LOVED
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
BR with lovely friends here
July 12, 2014
I am already a fan of John Inman, I have read a number of his books. This one for me is the best yet! I loved this book! Maybe i haven’t read enough of his books, but I have come to expect sweet romances, humor and generally lighter reads. This story was nothing like any of those. It was a story about tragedy, guilt, redemption, forgiveness, and finding your way out of the darkness.
Gordon is at the top of his game, but one bad decision has tragic repercussions. While Gordon is paying his debt to society by working in a soup kitchen, he is trying to drown his emotions and his body in alcohol. Then while breaking up a fight he meets up with Squirt, who immediately adds some light to Gordon’s dark existence. And I have to mention Squirt of course, how I loved this simple, sweet young man. *sigh*
I found myself immersed in this story, i absolutely couldn’t put it down. The writing was brilliant, the issues difficult, the romance sigh worthy. This is a story I will not forget.
Gordon is at the top of his game, but one bad decision has tragic repercussions. While Gordon is paying his debt to society by working in a soup kitchen, he is trying to drown his emotions and his body in alcohol. Then while breaking up a fight he meets up with Squirt, who immediately adds some light to Gordon’s dark existence. And I have to mention Squirt of course, how I loved this simple, sweet young man. *sigh*
I found myself immersed in this story, i absolutely couldn’t put it down. The writing was brilliant, the issues difficult, the romance sigh worthy. This is a story I will not forget.
July 27, 2014
I've read some John Inman books, but this one is so different from the others... so different... but one of the best I've read lately!!!
This is the story of moments. A moment in Gordon Stafford's perfect life took everything away from him. But also another moment, brought him a even better life. A more simple one, without luxuries, but not less perfect.
Guilt, regret, redemption and atonement, that's what Gordon has to live with. But destiny had something prepared for him... not something... someone!
This book, although heartbreaking, is the fabulous story of Gordon and "Squirt". These two men, been through so much suffering, that we could only wish the best for both of them. All the characters are amazing, the plot absolutely brilliant and the writing magnificent.
It went to my best-ever book shelf, and I will certainly never forget it!
Another fabulous BR
This is the story of moments. A moment in Gordon Stafford's perfect life took everything away from him. But also another moment, brought him a even better life. A more simple one, without luxuries, but not less perfect.
Guilt, regret, redemption and atonement, that's what Gordon has to live with. But destiny had something prepared for him... not something... someone!
This book, although heartbreaking, is the fabulous story of Gordon and "Squirt". These two men, been through so much suffering, that we could only wish the best for both of them. All the characters are amazing, the plot absolutely brilliant and the writing magnificent.
It went to my best-ever book shelf, and I will certainly never forget it!
Another fabulous BR
July 7, 2014
Full review can be found at -
This is a real story about real issues that are all too common in the world today. You will have sympathy for Gordon even when you don't want to. You'll fall in love instantly with Squirt, who doesn't have a mean bone in his body. You will be eager to see the two most unlikely characters find each other and work like hell to have their happily-ever-after. In the end, you'll be applauding John Inman for writing about a subject that needs to be written about.
Another outstanding book by John Inman. Keep tissues close if you plan to read this. You'll need them throughout.
This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange for a fair and honest review.
This is a real story about real issues that are all too common in the world today. You will have sympathy for Gordon even when you don't want to. You'll fall in love instantly with Squirt, who doesn't have a mean bone in his body. You will be eager to see the two most unlikely characters find each other and work like hell to have their happily-ever-after. In the end, you'll be applauding John Inman for writing about a subject that needs to be written about.
Another outstanding book by John Inman. Keep tissues close if you plan to read this. You'll need them throughout.
This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange for a fair and honest review.
July 9, 2014
I am a huge fan of John Inman’s writing (one of a handful of my automatic-buy authors), and HEAD-ON is another hit for me. I couldn't wait to get my hands on this book, and was thrilled to dive right in the moment it was released. The stunning cover gives you a hint of what’s to come… then from reading the blurb, I knew that this would not be one of John Inman’s lighthearted, funny, witty stories. This one is different; the plot line is heavier - intense and emotional. That being said, HEAD-ON still has plenty of clever lines and characters you will fall in love with, and yes there are some funny moments too. We first meet Gordon, an up-and-coming TV weatherman who has a promising future until one night when a series of bad decisions lead to a moment that changes his whole life. It happens just that quickly. This is a super-intense scene and it will send a chill down your spine and a wake-up call to your brain. At this point, Gordon’s life is over, though he’s still alive. He’s dead inside, going through the motions of life for the sake of others, not himself. This was a hard part to read, it’s gut-wrenching. I really was pained for Gordon, but it makes sense for the story. We then meet Squirt, who seems to be living his life outside the norm, seemingly almost invisible to others. Another series of incidents occur that bring these two forsaken men together. Gordon sees something in Squirt, and Squirt sees something in Gordon... And it’s as if the sun rises again for both men. However there are secrets that need to be shared before they can really be what they want to be for each other and these secrets are going to make your head explode. In sum, this book is about love, pain, gratitude, strength and forgiveness. Sit down; grab your tissues and your soft fuzzy blanket because you’ll need them. 5-star read; highly recommended!
May 29, 2019
An intense story of forgiveness, redemption and love, with a surprising twist. The love between Squirt and Gordon bordered on insta-love, But for me it was believable because it felt more like two broken people finally finding happiness and embracing it wholeheartedly.
July 25, 2014
Taking a step away from your usual MO isn't always a good move, especially when your fans know and love you for a certain style. In John Inman's case it's his ability to take any type of story line and infuse it with a mixture of heart felt emotion and laugh out loud humour that can sometimes be slapstick, sometimes a bit on the black side but always a perfect blend for whatever subject matter he chooses, whether it's a crime/mystery/thriller, spooky ghost story, zombie invasion or just a good old fashioned m/m contemporary romance filled with his loveable, trademark quirky characters and their equally memorable pets.
If anyone gets funny right it's Mr Inman but this time he HAS taken that step and really pulled back on the hilarity we know him best for. Producing a truly heart rending, thought provoking, emotional love story set around two broken men and their journey to becoming whole again. One barely surviving because of a self inflicted tragedy and the terrible guilt arising from it that threatens to break him as each day passes. And the other a sweet fragile soul; homeless and emotionally scarred to the point where he's mentally shut himself away from real life. A sad but endearing trait that gives him an innocent, almost childlike quality. It's this that draws the two of them together and starts the healing process that will hopefully fix them...but it isn't without its heart wrenching trials and tribulations.
"That boy's got an angel in him Gordon. I can feel it. And he's fragile. I don't know what he's been through in his life, but whatever it was, I think it left him pure, if you understand what I'm saying. He's a good but damaged soul, Gordon. Treat him with care. Will you promise me you'll do that?"
And it all starts when successful, up and coming weather man Gordon Stafford makes two stupid decisions that end in the death of a young, innocent man. First of all to drive totally shit faced and secondly to pick up his phone and text whilst on the move, causing a terrible car accident that puts Gordon in jail for a year. Losing him his career and setting him on a path to self destruction and a guilt trip that drives him to indulge in meaningless sex and alcohol to try and forget the painful memories of the screams that haunt him from the night of the accident. The only thing that stops him from hitting total rock bottom (a state he's teetering on the brink of as the loaded gun he keeps in his bathroom sink drawer reminds him every day) is the community service he's been ordered to serve at a local homeless shelter, run by a wonderful warm, sympathetic, loving character called Mama Davis, and it's there he first sets eyes the beautiful, homeless Squirt, saving him from being beaten by some punk, teen hustlers. Almost instantly something about this small, sweet helpless man calls to him, igniting the tiny spark of life inside him, and he begins to look forward to his days at the shelter, hoping he'll see Squirt again instead of reaching for the mind numbing booze he's fast becoming reliant on. Unfortunately Squirt disappears off the scene for a while, until one night a frightening nightmare causes Gordon to lapse and drink again. He wanders off in a drunken state and the result is a situation that puts him in the path of real danger until Squirt suddenly appears and saves him. The experience they share is really sad and traumatic but it brings them closer. However it sets the ball rolling towards a very poignant, tear jerking event which then leads to an extremely moving ending that touched me deeply and had me reaching for handfuls of tissues....
For the rest of my review follow link~ http://bit.ly/1jq91Qa
September 30, 2015
4.5 - 5 STARS
Head-on by John Inman is a beautiful, heart wrenching story about second chances, forgiveness and redemption. It’s a story about two broken men who bring each other back to the world and who find together what love and forgiveness are.
A car accident in which a man was killed changed Gordon’s life forever. One night…and Gordon lost everything, his job, his reputation, his sanity. One year and a half later, he is still consumed by guilt and he's barely being able to hang on. Every day when he wakes up he’s surrounded only by misery and every time he close his eyes, there’s only shame.
Gordon hides from the world and from himself and drinks to forget. But sometimes he feels drinking is not enough.
He needs to breathe and he needs a light in his life.
Squirt is a simple homeless man. He’s a lost soul who doesn’t know his past or who he is. After they meet at the kitchen soup, where Gordon works, they meet again when Squirt saves Gordon’s life. They become friends very fast and begin to spend their time together. Squirt is a beautiful man with a big heart, he’s fragile and shy, sweet and childlike and he’s exactly what makes Gordon to reclaim his life.
Gordon is drown to Squirt from the beginning, he wants to heal Squirt and maybe heal himself too. With Squirt he’s a better person, with Squirt maybe he will find happiness again. Squirt likes Gordon and he’s attracted to him from the start, he likes him because Gordon really sees him.
Gordon and Squirt are great together. They were real, they were sweet, they were loving with each other; they are tender and what to protect each other.
This story was definitely emotional and sometimes heart breaking. I really liked how the author presented Gordon’s road to redemption and how Gordon tried to be a better man. I enjoyed both main characters, how sweet and tender are with each other, how they want to help each other, how in the end love was enough for them. In the end - love can change and be everything!
The side characters play an important role in Gordon and Squirt’s journey and all are enjoyable. I didn’t expect the twist in the end, but I liked how things evolved in the end for Gordon and Squirt.
Overall, Head-on by John Inman was a great read, with an intriguing premise and lovable characters!
There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. - Bryant H. McGill
Head-on by John Inman is a beautiful, heart wrenching story about second chances, forgiveness and redemption. It’s a story about two broken men who bring each other back to the world and who find together what love and forgiveness are.
A car accident in which a man was killed changed Gordon’s life forever. One night…and Gordon lost everything, his job, his reputation, his sanity. One year and a half later, he is still consumed by guilt and he's barely being able to hang on. Every day when he wakes up he’s surrounded only by misery and every time he close his eyes, there’s only shame.
Gordon hides from the world and from himself and drinks to forget. But sometimes he feels drinking is not enough.
There was nothing in his mind but the memory of the revolver in his bathroom drawer. The way it felt in his hand. The heaviness of it. The comfort.
He needs to breathe and he needs a light in his life.
Squirt is a simple homeless man. He’s a lost soul who doesn’t know his past or who he is. After they meet at the kitchen soup, where Gordon works, they meet again when Squirt saves Gordon’s life. They become friends very fast and begin to spend their time together. Squirt is a beautiful man with a big heart, he’s fragile and shy, sweet and childlike and he’s exactly what makes Gordon to reclaim his life.
Gordon is drown to Squirt from the beginning, he wants to heal Squirt and maybe heal himself too. With Squirt he’s a better person, with Squirt maybe he will find happiness again. Squirt likes Gordon and he’s attracted to him from the start, he likes him because Gordon really sees him.
As long as I’m with you, I don’t mind much of anything.
Gordon and Squirt are great together. They were real, they were sweet, they were loving with each other; they are tender and what to protect each other.
I know you love me, Gordon. I knew it before you spoke the words just now. I can sense your love for me every time we’re together.
This story was definitely emotional and sometimes heart breaking. I really liked how the author presented Gordon’s road to redemption and how Gordon tried to be a better man. I enjoyed both main characters, how sweet and tender are with each other, how they want to help each other, how in the end love was enough for them. In the end - love can change and be everything!
The side characters play an important role in Gordon and Squirt’s journey and all are enjoyable. I didn’t expect the twist in the end, but I liked how things evolved in the end for Gordon and Squirt.
Overall, Head-on by John Inman was a great read, with an intriguing premise and lovable characters!
Meeting you gave me my life back. Loving you gave me a reason for living it.
October 28, 2014
Two years back Gordon's life changed with a Car crash
With a broken soul & gun waiting in a Bathroom drawer, Gordon wakes up every morning with thoughts of suicide.
While the law puts Gordon to work atoning for his sins, personal redemption is far harder to come by.
Then comes Squirt,a simple homeless man with his own crosses to bear—saves Gordon from a terrible fate. Overnight, Gordon finds not only a new light to follow.... and maybe even a purpose to his life, but also the possibility of love waiting at the end of the tunnel.
Very Highly Recommended Book!!! Read it a must read story,may not be a very new plot but perfectly executed.
This story made me feel....
Made my heartbeat a little faster....
Made my jaw drop.....in shock
And finally exhausted from continuous reading, I sighed in relief in last chapter
and got a content sleep finishing it.
So how can I not give it
With a broken soul & gun waiting in a Bathroom drawer, Gordon wakes up every morning with thoughts of suicide.
While the law puts Gordon to work atoning for his sins, personal redemption is far harder to come by.
Then comes Squirt,a simple homeless man with his own crosses to bear—saves Gordon from a terrible fate. Overnight, Gordon finds not only a new light to follow.... and maybe even a purpose to his life, but also the possibility of love waiting at the end of the tunnel.
Very Highly Recommended Book!!! Read it a must read story,may not be a very new plot but perfectly executed.
This story made me feel....
Made my heartbeat a little faster....
Made my jaw drop.....in shock
And finally exhausted from continuous reading, I sighed in relief in last chapter
and got a content sleep finishing it.
So how can I not give it
February 1, 2018
Für einen Autounfall mit Todesfolge musste Gordon Stafford für ein Jahr ins Gefängnis. Nun ist er wieder in Freiheit und leistet seinen Sozialdienst in einer Suppenküche ab. Um einen neuen Job bemüht er sich aber nicht und irgendwie lebt er einfach in den Tag hinein. Alkohol ist sein bester Freund, die Anrufe seiner Mutter fürchtet er und seine Wohnung, wie auch seine Person vernachlässigt er. Gordon ist tief gefallen. Vom gefeierten Star zum Totschläger, mit Selbstmordgedanken.
Bei seinem Sozialdienst lernt er den Einzelgänger Squirt kennen. Still, scheu und zurückhaltend. Doch Squirt ist ein Überlebender und hat ein gutes, großzügiges Herz. Und er ist mutig und klug, denn er rettet Gordon aus einer äußerst gefährlichen Situation, die für ihn hätte tödlich enden können. Aus einer flüchtigen Bekanntschaft, wird langsam eine zarte und zerbrechliche Freundschaft. Gordon und Squirt gehen sehr vorsichtig miteinander um und lernen sich langsam kennen und auch zu vertrauen. Gleichzeitig wächst zwischen ihnen eine sexuelle Spannung.
Das erste Mal seit Jahren erlebt Gordon so etwas wie Glück und auch Hoffnung. Erst ist Squirt ein Projekt, doch dann wird er mehr. Viel mehr. Ein Freund, ein Liebhaber, seine große Liebe. Doch Gordon spürt auch, dass Squirt etwas verbirgt und vor allem über seine Vergangenheit nicht reden möchte. Doch auch Gordon spricht nicht darüber. Zu groß sind Scham und Angst. Und noch immer quälen ihn die Schuldgefühle einem jungen Menschen das Leben genommen zu haben.
Zerbrochenes Glas ist ein unglaublich intensives Buch. Ich konnte es nicht in einem Rutsch lesen, auch wenn es sehr spannend und dicht geschrieben ist. Doch die Fülle an Emotionen haben mich fast erdrückt. Hier kommt die große Kunst des John Inman zum Vorschein. Ich habe viele Bücher von ihm gelesen, doch er schaffte es immer wieder mich zu überraschen und auch zu begeistern.
Auch hier dreht sich viel um Schuld, Verlust, Trauer, Sühne, Reue, Vergebung und Verzeihen. Nicht nur die Vergebung der Opferfamilie und -angehörigen sind Thema, sondern auch die Fähigkeit sich selbst vergeben zu können und einen Neuanfang zu wagen. Gordon und Squirt sind zwei zerbrochene Persönlichkeiten, die sich finden und wohl am tiefsten Punkt ihres Lebens angelangt sind. Sie sind auch beide sehr einsam, vorsichtig und misstrauisch. Doch sie tun einander auch gut und erleben Glück, das sie sich wohl nicht mehr erhofft oder erwartet haben.
Doch kein Geheimnis bleibt je verborgen und das Ende des Buches könnte nicht dramatischer und emotionaler sein. Ganz großes (Kopf)Kino, aber auch sehr intensiv und anstrengend.
Bei seinem Sozialdienst lernt er den Einzelgänger Squirt kennen. Still, scheu und zurückhaltend. Doch Squirt ist ein Überlebender und hat ein gutes, großzügiges Herz. Und er ist mutig und klug, denn er rettet Gordon aus einer äußerst gefährlichen Situation, die für ihn hätte tödlich enden können. Aus einer flüchtigen Bekanntschaft, wird langsam eine zarte und zerbrechliche Freundschaft. Gordon und Squirt gehen sehr vorsichtig miteinander um und lernen sich langsam kennen und auch zu vertrauen. Gleichzeitig wächst zwischen ihnen eine sexuelle Spannung.
Das erste Mal seit Jahren erlebt Gordon so etwas wie Glück und auch Hoffnung. Erst ist Squirt ein Projekt, doch dann wird er mehr. Viel mehr. Ein Freund, ein Liebhaber, seine große Liebe. Doch Gordon spürt auch, dass Squirt etwas verbirgt und vor allem über seine Vergangenheit nicht reden möchte. Doch auch Gordon spricht nicht darüber. Zu groß sind Scham und Angst. Und noch immer quälen ihn die Schuldgefühle einem jungen Menschen das Leben genommen zu haben.
Zerbrochenes Glas ist ein unglaublich intensives Buch. Ich konnte es nicht in einem Rutsch lesen, auch wenn es sehr spannend und dicht geschrieben ist. Doch die Fülle an Emotionen haben mich fast erdrückt. Hier kommt die große Kunst des John Inman zum Vorschein. Ich habe viele Bücher von ihm gelesen, doch er schaffte es immer wieder mich zu überraschen und auch zu begeistern.
Auch hier dreht sich viel um Schuld, Verlust, Trauer, Sühne, Reue, Vergebung und Verzeihen. Nicht nur die Vergebung der Opferfamilie und -angehörigen sind Thema, sondern auch die Fähigkeit sich selbst vergeben zu können und einen Neuanfang zu wagen. Gordon und Squirt sind zwei zerbrochene Persönlichkeiten, die sich finden und wohl am tiefsten Punkt ihres Lebens angelangt sind. Sie sind auch beide sehr einsam, vorsichtig und misstrauisch. Doch sie tun einander auch gut und erleben Glück, das sie sich wohl nicht mehr erhofft oder erwartet haben.
Doch kein Geheimnis bleibt je verborgen und das Ende des Buches könnte nicht dramatischer und emotionaler sein. Ganz großes (Kopf)Kino, aber auch sehr intensiv und anstrengend.
January 23, 2018
Darum geht’s:
Gordon Stafford ist am Ende. Vorbestraft, täglich betrunken, von Alpträumen geplagt, seine Karriere als Wettermann im lokalen Fernsehen ruiniert, muss er mit der riesigen Schuld leben, einen Autounfall verursacht zu haben, der einem Menschen das Leben kostete. Als letzten Ausweg hat er eine geladene Pistole im Nachttisch und überlegt regelmäßig, wann er sie benutzen soll. Erst als er bei seinen Sozialstunden in der Suppenküche den Obdachlosen Squirt kennenlernt, erwachen in Gordon langsam wieder positive Gefühle.
So fand ich’s:
Wie oft ist man ein paar Minuten unkonzentriert, macht etwas ganz Blödes und denkt hinterher, oh, das hätte jetzt aber auch schief gehen können? Davon kann sich bestimmt niemand ausnehmen. Bei Gordon ist seine gedankenlose Euphorie eines erfolgreichen Tages schief gegangen und ein anderer Autofahrer ist dabei gestorben. Nun muss er damit leben und trägt schwer an dieser Schuld.
Einerseits fand ich es gut, dass Gordon einsieht, dass er etwas sehr Dummes getan hat und weder versucht, die Schuld jemand anderem zuzuschieben noch sein Verhalten zu beschönigen. Andererseits war es aber auch schwer mitanzusehen, wie Gordon sich pausenlos geißelt, fast täglich das Grab des Mannes besucht, an dessen Tod er Schuld ist, und sich ansonsten in regelmäßige Alkoholexzesse rettet. Man wünscht ihm dringend, dass etwas Positives in seinem Leben auftaucht und als er Squirt kennenlernt, passiert genau das.
Squirt ist sanft, wirkt psychisch angeschlagen und zerbrechlich, aber auch sehr geradinig und Gordon fühlt sich sofort wohl in Squirts Nähe. Sonst hat er nichts gegen schnelle, anonyme One Night Stands, doch bei Squirt wagt er nicht einmal, ihn zu küssen, um ihn nicht zu verschrecken. So bleibt ihre Freundschaft eine Zeit lang ziemlich unschuldig, auch wenn Gordon durchaus auch sexuelles Interesse an Squirt hat.
Es scheint, die beiden sind gut füreinander und können sich gegenseitig helfen und heilen. Doch der nächste Tiefschlag wartet schon auf sie. Wie realistisch oder eher unwahrscheinlich dieses Szenario (ich bleibe nebulös, um nicht zu spoilern) ist, darüber wollte ich nicht ausführlicher nachdenken. Manchmal spielt einem das Leben eben solche Streiche und ich habe diesen Aspekt einfach hingenommen.
Diese Erzählung ist voller intensiver Emotionen und sie lässt einen nicht kalt. Heftiger Schmerz und Selbstmitleid wechselt sich ab mit sanfter Liebe und zarter Hoffnung. Es geht um Schuld und Vergebung und darum, mit den Konsequenzen seines Handelns leben zu müssen – und das dann auch zu akzeptieren und zu tun. Und auch wenn es zwischendurch mal nicht so aussieht, als würden Gordon und Squirt die Kurve kriegen, wartet auf sie doch ein Happy End.
Insgesamt habe ich jetzt drei Bücher von John Inman gelesen, die alle völlig unterschiedlich waren. „Payback“ hat mir trotz des überzeugenden Schreibstils nur eingeschränkt gefallen, weil ich Probleme mit einer Wendung in der Handlung hatte. Doch „Ein Ständchen für Stanley“ und „Zerbrochenes Glas“ haben mich auf ihre unterschiedliche Art doch beide komplett überzeugt. Man muss definitiv mehr Bücher von John Inman lesen, um die Bandbreite seiner Erzählungen kennenzulernen und mit „Zerbrochenes Glas“ habe ich eine interessante und emotional packende neue Facette dazu bekommen.
Gordon Stafford ist am Ende. Vorbestraft, täglich betrunken, von Alpträumen geplagt, seine Karriere als Wettermann im lokalen Fernsehen ruiniert, muss er mit der riesigen Schuld leben, einen Autounfall verursacht zu haben, der einem Menschen das Leben kostete. Als letzten Ausweg hat er eine geladene Pistole im Nachttisch und überlegt regelmäßig, wann er sie benutzen soll. Erst als er bei seinen Sozialstunden in der Suppenküche den Obdachlosen Squirt kennenlernt, erwachen in Gordon langsam wieder positive Gefühle.
So fand ich’s:
Wie oft ist man ein paar Minuten unkonzentriert, macht etwas ganz Blödes und denkt hinterher, oh, das hätte jetzt aber auch schief gehen können? Davon kann sich bestimmt niemand ausnehmen. Bei Gordon ist seine gedankenlose Euphorie eines erfolgreichen Tages schief gegangen und ein anderer Autofahrer ist dabei gestorben. Nun muss er damit leben und trägt schwer an dieser Schuld.
Einerseits fand ich es gut, dass Gordon einsieht, dass er etwas sehr Dummes getan hat und weder versucht, die Schuld jemand anderem zuzuschieben noch sein Verhalten zu beschönigen. Andererseits war es aber auch schwer mitanzusehen, wie Gordon sich pausenlos geißelt, fast täglich das Grab des Mannes besucht, an dessen Tod er Schuld ist, und sich ansonsten in regelmäßige Alkoholexzesse rettet. Man wünscht ihm dringend, dass etwas Positives in seinem Leben auftaucht und als er Squirt kennenlernt, passiert genau das.
Squirt ist sanft, wirkt psychisch angeschlagen und zerbrechlich, aber auch sehr geradinig und Gordon fühlt sich sofort wohl in Squirts Nähe. Sonst hat er nichts gegen schnelle, anonyme One Night Stands, doch bei Squirt wagt er nicht einmal, ihn zu küssen, um ihn nicht zu verschrecken. So bleibt ihre Freundschaft eine Zeit lang ziemlich unschuldig, auch wenn Gordon durchaus auch sexuelles Interesse an Squirt hat.
Es scheint, die beiden sind gut füreinander und können sich gegenseitig helfen und heilen. Doch der nächste Tiefschlag wartet schon auf sie. Wie realistisch oder eher unwahrscheinlich dieses Szenario (ich bleibe nebulös, um nicht zu spoilern) ist, darüber wollte ich nicht ausführlicher nachdenken. Manchmal spielt einem das Leben eben solche Streiche und ich habe diesen Aspekt einfach hingenommen.
Diese Erzählung ist voller intensiver Emotionen und sie lässt einen nicht kalt. Heftiger Schmerz und Selbstmitleid wechselt sich ab mit sanfter Liebe und zarter Hoffnung. Es geht um Schuld und Vergebung und darum, mit den Konsequenzen seines Handelns leben zu müssen – und das dann auch zu akzeptieren und zu tun. Und auch wenn es zwischendurch mal nicht so aussieht, als würden Gordon und Squirt die Kurve kriegen, wartet auf sie doch ein Happy End.
Insgesamt habe ich jetzt drei Bücher von John Inman gelesen, die alle völlig unterschiedlich waren. „Payback“ hat mir trotz des überzeugenden Schreibstils nur eingeschränkt gefallen, weil ich Probleme mit einer Wendung in der Handlung hatte. Doch „Ein Ständchen für Stanley“ und „Zerbrochenes Glas“ haben mich auf ihre unterschiedliche Art doch beide komplett überzeugt. Man muss definitiv mehr Bücher von John Inman lesen, um die Bandbreite seiner Erzählungen kennenzulernen und mit „Zerbrochenes Glas“ habe ich eine interessante und emotional packende neue Facette dazu bekommen.
January 4, 2015
Well…that was unexpected.
Like, seriously, I am used to John Inman of the quirky humor and bellyful of laughs. I have yet to pick up something so serious from him. And while there is certainly the Inman humor lurking in these pages, it is so much more than that.
When this books starts out I have to say I wanted to slap Gordon. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so reckless? And yet, I know I have taken stupid risks while I have been driving. I also know the cost of those stupid risks. Slamming into the car of a pregnant lady on the freeway is something I will never forget. So yeah, I might want to slap Gordon, but only as much as I want to slap myself. Luckily, and by the grace of all the gods, fairies, and just dumb stupid luck, everyone walked away from my crash. Gordon was not so lucky. He killed a man, and hurt so many others-–himself included–-and that is not something you can just walk away from.
So now he has to live with that. And I think it can be said that he is not doing so well with that. The guilt is nearly killing him, but if the guilt misses, I sure the alcohol will be all too willing to lend a hand. Gordon is drifting thru life, trying to find even a brief moment of happiness, but everything is being smothered under the guilt and the pain.
I really liked the first section of this book-–despite the nasty flashbacks that I got kicked with from Gordon’s accident. The pain, the depression that Gordon has to deal with, is very well written. You can feel his hopelessness. But also there is a kernel of hope. Something that keeps him from reaching for that last escape. And it’s Squirt that nudges that kernel into life. That keeps Gordon safe, keeps him from falling apart long enough to see that there might be something worth hanging around for.
I loved Squirt, loved the innocence that was wrapped around this broken man. But he was a lot stronger than anyone believes. He would have to be after all that has happened to him. Still the way he smiles, the way he makes Gordon smile, is really nice. I did have a hard time with the whole name Squirt, though. It kept making me think ‘child’ when Squirt is not that at all. That coupled with the descriptions of him, just kept nudging my ‘ick’ factor a bit too much. I know in my head that he is an adult, and by the time I got to the end it really wasn’t a big deal, but still, at the beginning it just felt like Gordon was perving on a kid. Even though he wasn’t.
There was also a bit too much lovey-dovey talk for my taste. I think some of it was just who the guys were, but I think there were times when it made the scene a little too much of a romantic cliché, when what I really wanted was the down and gritty reality. It didn’t throw me off a whole lot, but there were some scenes where the love felt too fast, too soon, or just too much.
Still…it also felt right. Like everyone in this story was tied to each other in complicated and ridiculous ways. And that is the way it was supposed to be. Like the only way to fix it–-fix all of them-–was to gather all the pieces and try to find a new picture to create out of the broken original. Would I have liked to not have guessed the twist from almost the beginning? Yes. But I like how it turned out anyways.
I liked this story. Liked how the words were not always what they seem–-that they have depth and meaning if you just look a little harder. I liked how I was able to laugh, and still hurt at the same time. I liked that not everything was expected, but even those parts that were, felt right. I liked how the homeless lifestyle was not glossed over, or treated lightly. I liked watching Gordon and Squirt fall in love, and then fall apart. And then fall back together. I liked finding more from John Inman than I expected.
I just really liked this.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
Like, seriously, I am used to John Inman of the quirky humor and bellyful of laughs. I have yet to pick up something so serious from him. And while there is certainly the Inman humor lurking in these pages, it is so much more than that.
When this books starts out I have to say I wanted to slap Gordon. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so reckless? And yet, I know I have taken stupid risks while I have been driving. I also know the cost of those stupid risks. Slamming into the car of a pregnant lady on the freeway is something I will never forget. So yeah, I might want to slap Gordon, but only as much as I want to slap myself. Luckily, and by the grace of all the gods, fairies, and just dumb stupid luck, everyone walked away from my crash. Gordon was not so lucky. He killed a man, and hurt so many others-–himself included–-and that is not something you can just walk away from.
So now he has to live with that. And I think it can be said that he is not doing so well with that. The guilt is nearly killing him, but if the guilt misses, I sure the alcohol will be all too willing to lend a hand. Gordon is drifting thru life, trying to find even a brief moment of happiness, but everything is being smothered under the guilt and the pain.
I really liked the first section of this book-–despite the nasty flashbacks that I got kicked with from Gordon’s accident. The pain, the depression that Gordon has to deal with, is very well written. You can feel his hopelessness. But also there is a kernel of hope. Something that keeps him from reaching for that last escape. And it’s Squirt that nudges that kernel into life. That keeps Gordon safe, keeps him from falling apart long enough to see that there might be something worth hanging around for.
I loved Squirt, loved the innocence that was wrapped around this broken man. But he was a lot stronger than anyone believes. He would have to be after all that has happened to him. Still the way he smiles, the way he makes Gordon smile, is really nice. I did have a hard time with the whole name Squirt, though. It kept making me think ‘child’ when Squirt is not that at all. That coupled with the descriptions of him, just kept nudging my ‘ick’ factor a bit too much. I know in my head that he is an adult, and by the time I got to the end it really wasn’t a big deal, but still, at the beginning it just felt like Gordon was perving on a kid. Even though he wasn’t.
There was also a bit too much lovey-dovey talk for my taste. I think some of it was just who the guys were, but I think there were times when it made the scene a little too much of a romantic cliché, when what I really wanted was the down and gritty reality. It didn’t throw me off a whole lot, but there were some scenes where the love felt too fast, too soon, or just too much.
Still…it also felt right. Like everyone in this story was tied to each other in complicated and ridiculous ways. And that is the way it was supposed to be. Like the only way to fix it–-fix all of them-–was to gather all the pieces and try to find a new picture to create out of the broken original. Would I have liked to not have guessed the twist from almost the beginning? Yes. But I like how it turned out anyways.
I liked this story. Liked how the words were not always what they seem–-that they have depth and meaning if you just look a little harder. I liked how I was able to laugh, and still hurt at the same time. I liked that not everything was expected, but even those parts that were, felt right. I liked how the homeless lifestyle was not glossed over, or treated lightly. I liked watching Gordon and Squirt fall in love, and then fall apart. And then fall back together. I liked finding more from John Inman than I expected.
I just really liked this.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
October 28, 2017
Habt ihr euch schon jemals gefragt, was passiert, wenn ihr nur eine dumme Entscheidung trefft und damit nicht nur euer sondern auch das Leben eines anderen zerstört? Nun ja, genau das ist Gordon, einem sehr bekannten Wettermoderator, passiert, als er betrunken einen Unfall baute und eine Person im anderen Auto starb.
Zwei Jahre später steht Gordon vor den Scherben seinen Lebens und ist von Schuldgefühlen zerfressen. Jeder Tag ist für ihn eine Qual, bis er eines Tages Squirt in der Suppenküche kennenlernt, in der er seine Sozialstunden ableisten muss. Squirt übt so eine Faszination auf ihn auf, dass er langsam wieder in ein Leben zurückfindet - und nicht nur das, auch langsam seine Schuldgefühle verarbeitet. Doch was er nicht weiß ist, dass Squirts und sein Leben enger miteinander verknüpft sind als ihm lieb ist.
Gordon ist ein sehr eigenwilliger Charakter. So sehr man ihm seine Schuldgefühle auch ansieht und man mit ihm fühlt, so schwer ist es auch ihn von Anfang an zu 100% zu mögen. Seine ständige Ich-bezogenheit ist nicht gerade eine förderliche Charaktereigenschaft, doch das ändert sich als er Squirt kennenlernt.
Und Squirt ist einfach wunderbar. Er ist ehrlich und ... unschuldig, doch auch ihn umgibt ein Geheimnis. Zusammen sind die beiden ein wunderbares Paar und verleihen dieser Geschichte einfach Leben. Man wünscht ihnen ein Happy End vom ganzen Herzen. Und John Inman hat damit eine wunderschöne Geschichte um Liebe und Vergebung geschaffen, die einen auf eine Achterbahnfahrt mitnimmt.
Volle Leseempfehlung. :)
Zwei Jahre später steht Gordon vor den Scherben seinen Lebens und ist von Schuldgefühlen zerfressen. Jeder Tag ist für ihn eine Qual, bis er eines Tages Squirt in der Suppenküche kennenlernt, in der er seine Sozialstunden ableisten muss. Squirt übt so eine Faszination auf ihn auf, dass er langsam wieder in ein Leben zurückfindet - und nicht nur das, auch langsam seine Schuldgefühle verarbeitet. Doch was er nicht weiß ist, dass Squirts und sein Leben enger miteinander verknüpft sind als ihm lieb ist.
Gordon ist ein sehr eigenwilliger Charakter. So sehr man ihm seine Schuldgefühle auch ansieht und man mit ihm fühlt, so schwer ist es auch ihn von Anfang an zu 100% zu mögen. Seine ständige Ich-bezogenheit ist nicht gerade eine förderliche Charaktereigenschaft, doch das ändert sich als er Squirt kennenlernt.
Und Squirt ist einfach wunderbar. Er ist ehrlich und ... unschuldig, doch auch ihn umgibt ein Geheimnis. Zusammen sind die beiden ein wunderbares Paar und verleihen dieser Geschichte einfach Leben. Man wünscht ihnen ein Happy End vom ganzen Herzen. Und John Inman hat damit eine wunderschöne Geschichte um Liebe und Vergebung geschaffen, die einen auf eine Achterbahnfahrt mitnimmt.
Volle Leseempfehlung. :)
January 31, 2018
In Zerbrochenes Glas schildert John Inman, wie ein dummer Fehler viele Leben zerstören kann.
Zur Handlung. Gordon Stafford war noch vor zwei Jahren ein bekannter und beliebter Wetterfrosch. Doch dann fuhr er betrunken mit dem Auto und schrieb dabei noch SMS auf seinem Handy. Dieser Leichtsinn führte zu einem schweren Unfall, bei dem ein Mann ums Leben kam. Gordon verlor seinen Job beim Sender und musste für ein Jahr lang ins Gefängnis. Da er noch zu Sozialstunden verurteilt wurde, arbeitet er täglich in der Suppenküche für Obdachlose. Doch seine Schuldgefühle quälen ihn Tag und Nacht. Immer wieder sieht er das Opfer des Ungl��cks vor sich und hört die furchtbaren Schreie des Beifahrers. Er sucht Vergessen im Alkohol und denkt sogar an Selbstmord.
Squirt ist ein junger Obdachloser, der eines Tages in die Suppenküche von Mama Davis kommt. Da er von mehreren Jugendlichen bedrängt wird, hilft ihm Gordon. Dadurch lernen sich die beiden kennen und verlieben sich letztendlich ineinander. Doch Squirt leidet unter einem Gedächtnisverlust und hat sogar seinen Namen vergessen.
John Inman zählt schon seit Payback zu meinen Lieblingsautoren. Auch diesmal ist es ihm gelungen, eine dramatische und mitreißende Geschichte zu erzählen, bei der es mir schwer fiel, eine Lesepause zu machen.
Gordon und Squirt teilen eine erschütternde Vergangenheit, die erst nach und nach aufgelöst wird. Auch die Nebenfiguren haben mir sehr gut gefallen. Besonders Mama Davis, die das Herz auf dem rechten Fleck hat. Aber auch Gordons Mutter und sein Bewährungshelfer wurden sympathisch dargestellt.
Die Story erhält von mir 5 Sterne und eine Leseempfehlung.
Mein Dank geht an Dreamspinner Press für das erhaltene Rezensionsexemplar.
Zur Handlung. Gordon Stafford war noch vor zwei Jahren ein bekannter und beliebter Wetterfrosch. Doch dann fuhr er betrunken mit dem Auto und schrieb dabei noch SMS auf seinem Handy. Dieser Leichtsinn führte zu einem schweren Unfall, bei dem ein Mann ums Leben kam. Gordon verlor seinen Job beim Sender und musste für ein Jahr lang ins Gefängnis. Da er noch zu Sozialstunden verurteilt wurde, arbeitet er täglich in der Suppenküche für Obdachlose. Doch seine Schuldgefühle quälen ihn Tag und Nacht. Immer wieder sieht er das Opfer des Ungl��cks vor sich und hört die furchtbaren Schreie des Beifahrers. Er sucht Vergessen im Alkohol und denkt sogar an Selbstmord.
Squirt ist ein junger Obdachloser, der eines Tages in die Suppenküche von Mama Davis kommt. Da er von mehreren Jugendlichen bedrängt wird, hilft ihm Gordon. Dadurch lernen sich die beiden kennen und verlieben sich letztendlich ineinander. Doch Squirt leidet unter einem Gedächtnisverlust und hat sogar seinen Namen vergessen.
John Inman zählt schon seit Payback zu meinen Lieblingsautoren. Auch diesmal ist es ihm gelungen, eine dramatische und mitreißende Geschichte zu erzählen, bei der es mir schwer fiel, eine Lesepause zu machen.
Gordon und Squirt teilen eine erschütternde Vergangenheit, die erst nach und nach aufgelöst wird. Auch die Nebenfiguren haben mir sehr gut gefallen. Besonders Mama Davis, die das Herz auf dem rechten Fleck hat. Aber auch Gordons Mutter und sein Bewährungshelfer wurden sympathisch dargestellt.
Die Story erhält von mir 5 Sterne und eine Leseempfehlung.
Mein Dank geht an Dreamspinner Press für das erhaltene Rezensionsexemplar.
May 4, 2015
Another excellent novel by John Inman, "Head-On" takes its time exploring the world of Gordon Stafford, whose reckless behavior two years earlier killed a man and destroyed Gordon's life as well. He is obsessed with the accident, visiting the grave of the man he killed nearly ever day, and contemplating suicide so often he has a gun in his bedstand waiting for the day he decides to finally pull the trigger. I loved the way the author delved into Gordon's psyche, and I found the prose to be very polished and emotionally affecting.
One thing gave me pause, and it appears to be something not noticed by most readers -- the psychiatric ward, which seems to have been pulled out of movies from the 70s and earlier. I've spent a fair amount of time visiting friends in psych wards, and unless things are very different in California, their primary characteristic is boredom. Also, the patients are generally people like my friends, who were depressed or having serious issues, but otherwise capable of having intelligent conversations.
That quibble, however, didn't really affect the story. I thoroughly enjoyed "Head-On" and would recommend it to anyone in the mood for something dark, but still romantic.
One thing gave me pause, and it appears to be something not noticed by most readers -- the psychiatric ward, which seems to have been pulled out of movies from the 70s and earlier. I've spent a fair amount of time visiting friends in psych wards, and unless things are very different in California, their primary characteristic is boredom. Also, the patients are generally people like my friends, who were depressed or having serious issues, but otherwise capable of having intelligent conversations.
That quibble, however, didn't really affect the story. I thoroughly enjoyed "Head-On" and would recommend it to anyone in the mood for something dark, but still romantic.
April 10, 2015
This story was heart-wrenching amazing and beautifully told. Loved it!
Read it a while ago and never rated it?!
September 30, 2019
Head On to me is cliché ridden and completely predictable. Wait a minute, sometimes when I get sucked in, I feel like: What's wrong with predictable? The character Squirt is one of the sweetest, most angelic characters I've read in a long time he kept making me smile. The flipside was watching the angst Gordon puts himself through while he deals with the horrific accident HE caused was heart wrenching. He was self-loathing and so completely self-destructive. I stayed up late into the night to finish this book and see how Gordon would find his redemption and how Squirt could find peace or himself or solid ground. Oddly enough knowing how predictable this book was I was still on the edge of my seat worrying that suddenly the writer would take a left turn in and do something unpredictable to these characters.
I hear birds I guess it's time to go to bed now and I'll sleep feeling satisfied.
I hear birds I guess it's time to go to bed now and I'll sleep feeling satisfied.
June 27, 2023
wow....I don't know what to say about this one...I actually stayed up till 2.30 in the morning after work to finish it....I just couldn't leave it at that spot....Gordon (so weird reading a book with my hubbys name) is living in hell after killing someone in a car accident.....Squirt is living a homeless life after shutting down his past....They were both good for each other....In fact Squirt saves Gordons life I think in more than one way.....They soon fall in love and move in together but I think the worst of Gordons life is about to happen.....When Squirt finds his memories...hell breaks loose....This was a harder book to read than some of this authors others but I still loved it.....I think it was all done so well....I was sat staring into space half way through before something clicked and I realised who Squirt might be.....A really well written book and be prepared for tears.....esp as soon as you open the book....this is heart wrenching x
March 12, 2016
First things first - if you are a fan of John Inman, don't mind me. You will probably like this book.
This is my first book by this author, and as it turns out, I'm not a fan.
Squirt, the love interest is a beautiful, small, fragilegirl man, who is angelically sweet and described as "innocent" no less than twelve times. I know I'm a jaded, old cynic but I practically could feel the cavities growing in my teeth.
The plot is cliché-ridden and utterly predictable. If the description gives you a hunch what Squirt's "cross to bear" might be, you are probably right. I had the same hunch but I thought there was no way the story could be so soap-operatic. But, oh yes, Baby, it could and then some. There was even a coma. *sigh*
Definitely not my cup of tea.
This is my first book by this author, and as it turns out, I'm not a fan.
Squirt, the love interest is a beautiful, small, fragile
The plot is cliché-ridden and utterly predictable. If the description gives you a hunch what Squirt's "cross to bear" might be, you are probably right. I had the same hunch but I thought there was no way the story could be so soap-operatic. But, oh yes, Baby, it could and then some. There was even a coma. *sigh*
Definitely not my cup of tea.
June 12, 2018
Wenn dieser Autor eines kann, dann sind es Dramen. Ganz besonders solche, wo ich beim Lesen immer wieder Tränen in den Augen habe. Auch bei der Geschichte von Squirt und Gordon war das der Fall und ich konnte das Buch immer nur stückchenweise lesen.
Das lag vor allem an Gordon, mit dem ich nur schwer Mitgefühl oder überhaupt irgendeine Sympathie entwickeln konnte. Der Mann fährt besoffen und telefonierend einen anderen Menschen tot und ist anfangs so Ich-bezogen und ständig am Jammern, dass ich mehr als einmal die Augen über ihn verdreht habe, denn mMn kam er für den Mord an einem Unschuldigen noch viel zu milde davon. Denn genau das war es für mich, als er sturzbetrunken und nebenbei auch noch am Telefon hängend Auto fährt und dabei den Unfall baut, bei dem ein Mensch stirbt.
Erst nach und nach, als Squirt in sein Leben tritt, und dank der echt sympathischen Nebencharaktere, wird die Geschichte für mich flüssiger und auch Gordon langsam kein No-Go-Typ mehr für mich. Denn als er Squirt hilft, kommt mit der Zeit sein richtiger Charakter deutlich heraus und Gordon ist ein sehr netter, hilfsbereiter Mensch, der im Suff eine furchtbare Fehlentscheidung getroffen hat. Leidtragender davon ist Squirt, auch wenn Gordon lange nicht zwei und zwei zusammenzählt. Dabei gibt es genug Hinweise, aber vielleicht lag es auch an mir, denn mir war ruckzuck klar, wer Squirt wirklich ist.
Und irgendwann erkennt dann auch Squirt, mit wem er sich da eingelassen hat, was für ihn gesundheitlich ernste Folgen hat. Mehr wird nicht verraten, einfach selbst lesen. Es lohnt sich definitiv. Ich vergebe überzeugte 5* und packe eine dicke Leseempfehlung obendrauf. Drama hin und her, die Geschichte ist großartig.
Ein ganz liebes Dankeschön geht zusätzlich an den Dreamspinner Verlag für das Rezensionsexemplar.
Das lag vor allem an Gordon, mit dem ich nur schwer Mitgefühl oder überhaupt irgendeine Sympathie entwickeln konnte. Der Mann fährt besoffen und telefonierend einen anderen Menschen tot und ist anfangs so Ich-bezogen und ständig am Jammern, dass ich mehr als einmal die Augen über ihn verdreht habe, denn mMn kam er für den Mord an einem Unschuldigen noch viel zu milde davon. Denn genau das war es für mich, als er sturzbetrunken und nebenbei auch noch am Telefon hängend Auto fährt und dabei den Unfall baut, bei dem ein Mensch stirbt.
Erst nach und nach, als Squirt in sein Leben tritt, und dank der echt sympathischen Nebencharaktere, wird die Geschichte für mich flüssiger und auch Gordon langsam kein No-Go-Typ mehr für mich. Denn als er Squirt hilft, kommt mit der Zeit sein richtiger Charakter deutlich heraus und Gordon ist ein sehr netter, hilfsbereiter Mensch, der im Suff eine furchtbare Fehlentscheidung getroffen hat. Leidtragender davon ist Squirt, auch wenn Gordon lange nicht zwei und zwei zusammenzählt. Dabei gibt es genug Hinweise, aber vielleicht lag es auch an mir, denn mir war ruckzuck klar, wer Squirt wirklich ist.
Und irgendwann erkennt dann auch Squirt, mit wem er sich da eingelassen hat, was für ihn gesundheitlich ernste Folgen hat. Mehr wird nicht verraten, einfach selbst lesen. Es lohnt sich definitiv. Ich vergebe überzeugte 5* und packe eine dicke Leseempfehlung obendrauf. Drama hin und her, die Geschichte ist großartig.
Ein ganz liebes Dankeschön geht zusätzlich an den Dreamspinner Verlag für das Rezensionsexemplar.
December 11, 2015
Oy, the sap. Oy, the unbelievability.
Let me say this up front: for a more emotionally believable mm romance about vehicular homicide and its consequences, read Breathe by Sloan Parker.
There. I've said it. Now back to Head-on.
You know you're in trouble when you start writing notes saying "Seriously??" while you're in the middle of the book. First, lines like:
Two stars, and too annoying for words in too many ways to mention.
Let me say this up front: for a more emotionally believable mm romance about vehicular homicide and its consequences, read Breathe by Sloan Parker.
There. I've said it. Now back to Head-on.
You know you're in trouble when you start writing notes saying "Seriously??" while you're in the middle of the book. First, lines like:
The lonely twang of steel guitars was like the plucking of heartstrings, playing the music of loss and need and never-ending sorrow. A melody Gordon knew all too well.had me rolling my eyes. And then insta-love had me doing the same. And then there was the insta-cure from alcohol addiction after months of living in the bottom of a bottle, with no withdrawals. And then there was the MC -- who is still on probation after **killing a guy while DUI** -- somehow magically still having a driver's license, with no explanation as to how that could possibly happen anywhere in the real world on planet Earth. AND there is no mention anywhere of any court-ordered alcohol rehab, which you can bet your butt there would have been. And then the magic penis cures his PTSD nightmares instantly. And then -- well, you get the picture. I won't spoil the rest of the story, but it continues in the same general vein.
Two stars, and too annoying for words in too many ways to mention.
August 25, 2015
Sometimes fate, God, kismet, whatever you want to call it, intervenes and throws people into an unlikely situation. This is a hard book to discuss without giving too much away, so I'll just say this: John Inman knows how to create living, breathing characters that the reader can connect with.
I could perfectly picture Gordon and Squirt, and felt their pain and anguish. No, they weren't perfect people. Far from it. But who is? One tiny, tiny niggle. The name Squirt. When you're reading a sex scene and one of the guys is named Squirt... Let's not go there. Heck, I know two people who go by Peanut, and one Scooter. Not as nicknames, really, this is what they're called by everyone.
Another lovely book from John Inman.
I could perfectly picture Gordon and Squirt, and felt their pain and anguish. No, they weren't perfect people. Far from it. But who is? One tiny, tiny niggle. The name Squirt. When you're reading a sex scene and one of the guys is named Squirt... Let's not go there. Heck, I know two people who go by Peanut, and one Scooter. Not as nicknames, really, this is what they're called by everyone.
Another lovely book from John Inman.
August 18, 2014
Well, I finished this so it was definitely worth the read. But for some reason I didn't completely mesh with this story. Something in the writing. Lots of words and internal dialog and internal struggles inside of Gordon's head and not enough external interaction for me I think. It was hurt-comfort I suppose, but a little light on the actual hurt (except for what went on in Gordon's thoughts) and a little heavy on the insta-comfort and insta-love. Not really enough actual struggle. I liked the characters when they were together, but there wasn't much of it that wasn't lovey-dovey time and overall it just wasn't my favorite.
October 18, 2022
DNF about 35%
God I hated this fucking mess. I'm so disappointed, because the prologue was brilliant, tbh. I do like reading about the redemption of horrible people, so Gordon started off well. But then... I JUST HATED HIM SO MUCH and not because he was horrible, don't get me wrong. It was because he's an arsehole. He was an arsehole before, and he's an arsehole after 1 year in the can and Mama wasting her wisdom on him for months on end. I HATED the way he describes homeless people, with this incredible attention to how they smell (Gordon, for fuck's sake, you drink your breakfast lunch and dinner, you probably smell like a fucking distillery yourself, so come down off your fucking high horse alright mate). I HATED the way he talks about Mama, like we need another stereotypically wise and street-wise and maternal old black lady (I mean, go on with it, but here it read like such a stereotype it was honestly painful). And then, behold, Squirt.
Squirt, the purest angel ever created. The most perfect. With silky hair and soft hands and a pure heart and the emotional span of a sugar-iced yum-yum. Ew. He's described constantly in this childlike way, which made me cringe and eventually stop reading. It was borderline disturbing reading about a grown man pining over a man who's obsessively depicted like an altar boy from those old Italian movies my grandmother liked to watch.
Anyway. It was fucking painful. Couldn't care less about carrying on, and as you can tell, I'm enraged by this for no reason than I hate this with all my heart
bye now
God I hated this fucking mess. I'm so disappointed, because the prologue was brilliant, tbh. I do like reading about the redemption of horrible people, so Gordon started off well. But then... I JUST HATED HIM SO MUCH and not because he was horrible, don't get me wrong. It was because he's an arsehole. He was an arsehole before, and he's an arsehole after 1 year in the can and Mama wasting her wisdom on him for months on end. I HATED the way he describes homeless people, with this incredible attention to how they smell (Gordon, for fuck's sake, you drink your breakfast lunch and dinner, you probably smell like a fucking distillery yourself, so come down off your fucking high horse alright mate). I HATED the way he talks about Mama, like we need another stereotypically wise and street-wise and maternal old black lady (I mean, go on with it, but here it read like such a stereotype it was honestly painful). And then, behold, Squirt.
Squirt, the purest angel ever created. The most perfect. With silky hair and soft hands and a pure heart and the emotional span of a sugar-iced yum-yum. Ew. He's described constantly in this childlike way, which made me cringe and eventually stop reading. It was borderline disturbing reading about a grown man pining over a man who's obsessively depicted like an altar boy from those old Italian movies my grandmother liked to watch.
Anyway. It was fucking painful. Couldn't care less about carrying on, and as you can tell, I'm enraged by this for no reason than I hate this with all my heart
bye now
October 12, 2017
Well, this story was certainly interesting. I enjoyed it, but I honestly don't know if I can put it on my Favorites shelf. Maybe because a good part of it was depressing as Gordon struggled to come to terms with the death of the driver of a car he hit head-on when he was drunk and texting. He spent his year in jail, though he freely admits he got off easy, and he's spending his time in community service by serving in a soup kitchen, and in the early part of the story, he spends the rest of his time in a drunken stupor, too fearful to kill himself and too guilty not to. Death by alcohol seems to be his choice.
It's not until he meets a beautiful young man named Squirt that his life turns around. Squirt saves him from a group of roving teens who are setting fire to homeless men, and from that moment on, Gordon knows he has found his soulmate. The major problem is that Squirt has suffered a memory loss and doesn't go by any name other than Squirt. He asks Gordon for time before he reveals any of his past.
Of course it all comes to a head when Squirt learns who Gordon is because you guessed it -- not going to say here but honestly if you don't guess you can't have read this far into the story -- and their worlds come tumbling apart, so much so, that Squirt lands in the hospital. More heartache ensues for Gordon, more heartwarming encounters and positive changes come his way though, and eventually the author brings us to their HEA.
I'm giving this 3.5 stars but rounding up because I love this author's work and because I suspect that after I think about this for a while longer, my enjoyment of it may easily increase.
It's not until he meets a beautiful young man named Squirt that his life turns around. Squirt saves him from a group of roving teens who are setting fire to homeless men, and from that moment on, Gordon knows he has found his soulmate. The major problem is that Squirt has suffered a memory loss and doesn't go by any name other than Squirt. He asks Gordon for time before he reveals any of his past.
Of course it all comes to a head when Squirt learns who Gordon is because you guessed it -- not going to say here but honestly if you don't guess you can't have read this far into the story -- and their worlds come tumbling apart, so much so, that Squirt lands in the hospital. More heartache ensues for Gordon, more heartwarming encounters and positive changes come his way though, and eventually the author brings us to their HEA.
I'm giving this 3.5 stars but rounding up because I love this author's work and because I suspect that after I think about this for a while longer, my enjoyment of it may easily increase.
August 14, 2014
“It is not "forgive and forget" as if nothing wrong had ever happened, but "forgive and go forward," building on the mistakes of the past and the energy generated by reconciliation to create a new future.” ~ Carolyn Osiek
It's infinitely harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive someone else, as Gordon Stafford is learning in 'Head-On' by John Inman. Gordon has a head-on collision with another car, but he also has one with his life in general. Gordon is learning a hard lesson in humility, caused by his arrogant, prideful, conceited past and it's coming at a very high price. Gordon loses everything he has considered important to him; his job, his house, his reputation, and worst of all, his self-respect. Gordon is humiliated and depressed, but, he's still alive; and, as long as he breathes, there is a chance for him to receive forgiveness and redemption.
Gordon is a lost soul. Once he had so much, and now, he barely has anything, including his will to live. He spends a year in jail for killing a man in a car crash and he's now doing community service at a soup kitchen. He accepts his penance with as much grace as he can muster. Humility comes easier than he'd ever imagined it could. This whole disaster has given him quite a lot to think about. He's lonely, but doesn't feel worthy of having someone to care about him. He's existing, biding his time until he can get the nerve to end his misery. Gordon's pain is so well described that it is palpable. He tries so hard to do penance for what he did wrong, but nothing seems like it's enough to even dull the ache he feels. When he meets Squirt, it's as if the clouds open up and sunshine begins to pour through them. Gordon rides in, a knight in tarnished armor with a spatula instead of a sword, to save Squirt from three bullies. Afterward, he sits Squirt down and brings him a huge breakfast, all the while, wondering where this sudden burst of protectiveness is coming from. Gordon is so grateful for the opportunity to be close to Squirt, that he takes things very slowly, giving them lots of time to get to know each other. Although Squirt doesn't talk too much, Gordon simply enjoys being with him and goes along with whatever Squirt wants to do. If and when their relationship becomes something more, it's Squirt who has to take the next step. Squirt has given Gordon a reason to live and he no longer thinks of suicide. He never dreamed that he would ever be able to feel such joy again.
Squirt is an enigma. He is different from other people who live on the street. There's an ethereal quality about him; but there's also a great sadness barely hidden just under the surface. Squirt has selective amnesia; he can remember everything except for what has happened two years ago. He has scars on his arms but doesn't know where they came from. It's clear that Squirt has lived through some horrible trauma, but he can't remember what. Squirt doesn't trust easily, but Gordon's kindness is endearing; slowly, but surely, Squirt begins to believe in Gordon. When he saves Gordon's life, getting him out of a deadly situation when he is too drunk to care, Gordon is deeply grateful. Squirt is very fragile, easily swayed, and in danger of breaking at any time. He never talks about his past and Gordon never pushes him because he's afraid to rock the boat and scare him away. Squirt and Gordon move in together and fall into a domestic routine and are in love. Things seem to be going well, but secrets from the past threaten to destroy all that they've so tenuously built.
This story is different from the others I've read by John Inman, but it is every bit as good. It's serious, even sad at times. I became extremely emotionally involved with the characters and, in spite of the seemingly unsolvable difficulties they faced, was hoping that they would find a way to work things out and be happy. The theme of healing forgiveness is huge for both Gordon and Squirt and, as impossible as it seems, they are the only ones who can forgive each other and themselves. I recommend this book to those who enjoy intense, angsty, stories with damaged characters who find forgiveness and redemption. Thanks, John, for reminding me that it's only in forgiving yourself that you can accept the forgiveness of others.
NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
It's infinitely harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive someone else, as Gordon Stafford is learning in 'Head-On' by John Inman. Gordon has a head-on collision with another car, but he also has one with his life in general. Gordon is learning a hard lesson in humility, caused by his arrogant, prideful, conceited past and it's coming at a very high price. Gordon loses everything he has considered important to him; his job, his house, his reputation, and worst of all, his self-respect. Gordon is humiliated and depressed, but, he's still alive; and, as long as he breathes, there is a chance for him to receive forgiveness and redemption.
Gordon is a lost soul. Once he had so much, and now, he barely has anything, including his will to live. He spends a year in jail for killing a man in a car crash and he's now doing community service at a soup kitchen. He accepts his penance with as much grace as he can muster. Humility comes easier than he'd ever imagined it could. This whole disaster has given him quite a lot to think about. He's lonely, but doesn't feel worthy of having someone to care about him. He's existing, biding his time until he can get the nerve to end his misery. Gordon's pain is so well described that it is palpable. He tries so hard to do penance for what he did wrong, but nothing seems like it's enough to even dull the ache he feels. When he meets Squirt, it's as if the clouds open up and sunshine begins to pour through them. Gordon rides in, a knight in tarnished armor with a spatula instead of a sword, to save Squirt from three bullies. Afterward, he sits Squirt down and brings him a huge breakfast, all the while, wondering where this sudden burst of protectiveness is coming from. Gordon is so grateful for the opportunity to be close to Squirt, that he takes things very slowly, giving them lots of time to get to know each other. Although Squirt doesn't talk too much, Gordon simply enjoys being with him and goes along with whatever Squirt wants to do. If and when their relationship becomes something more, it's Squirt who has to take the next step. Squirt has given Gordon a reason to live and he no longer thinks of suicide. He never dreamed that he would ever be able to feel such joy again.
Squirt is an enigma. He is different from other people who live on the street. There's an ethereal quality about him; but there's also a great sadness barely hidden just under the surface. Squirt has selective amnesia; he can remember everything except for what has happened two years ago. He has scars on his arms but doesn't know where they came from. It's clear that Squirt has lived through some horrible trauma, but he can't remember what. Squirt doesn't trust easily, but Gordon's kindness is endearing; slowly, but surely, Squirt begins to believe in Gordon. When he saves Gordon's life, getting him out of a deadly situation when he is too drunk to care, Gordon is deeply grateful. Squirt is very fragile, easily swayed, and in danger of breaking at any time. He never talks about his past and Gordon never pushes him because he's afraid to rock the boat and scare him away. Squirt and Gordon move in together and fall into a domestic routine and are in love. Things seem to be going well, but secrets from the past threaten to destroy all that they've so tenuously built.
This story is different from the others I've read by John Inman, but it is every bit as good. It's serious, even sad at times. I became extremely emotionally involved with the characters and, in spite of the seemingly unsolvable difficulties they faced, was hoping that they would find a way to work things out and be happy. The theme of healing forgiveness is huge for both Gordon and Squirt and, as impossible as it seems, they are the only ones who can forgive each other and themselves. I recommend this book to those who enjoy intense, angsty, stories with damaged characters who find forgiveness and redemption. Thanks, John, for reminding me that it's only in forgiving yourself that you can accept the forgiveness of others.
NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
August 10, 2014
Gordon Stafford was young and successful, had his whole life to live, until one stupid mistake change not only his life, but the lives of everyone involved in the accident. Two years later he is broken, depressed and working off his community service hours at a local soup kitchen. He visits the grave of the man’s life he took daily, some sort of penance, but he’s still plagued by nightmares and suicidal thoughts. Until he meets the Squirt.
Being jumped at the soup kitchen by three immoral teenagers wanna be thugs, Gordon steps in and saves Squirt, then feeds him. In a manner of minutes everything in Gordon’s life shifts. His focus, his want to live, and a need to protect Squirt from whatever haunts him. But Squirt is gone by the time Gordon finishes his shift, days later though, Squirt saves Gordon from a terrible fate and unlikely love story takes root.
Gordon can’t forgot that horrible night, the night that he killed a man by texting and driving while he was also slightly intoxicated. The smell of blood on the warm asphalt, the shrill screeching of metal, breaking glass and that ear piercing scream that he still hears ringing in his ears every damn day. Squirt isn’t without his secrets either, the problem is, Squirt himself doesn’t know what they are. He has scars, but he doesn’t remember how they got there. People call him Jerry, but he doesn’t remember that name, he only knows Squirt, and how much he wants to be with Gordon.
Gordon takes his time, afraid to move too fast and scare Squirt away. But soon enough they are loving each other and living together. But Gordon never tells Squirt about his past, so when he finds out on his own, it triggers something that has devastating consequences for both men.
This was a tragically beautiful love story with a fantastic ending. I laughed, I cried, I shouted at my kindle several times. In the end it was all worth it. Inman has written a story with one of the most flawed and imperfect characters I’ve ever read in Gordon who did something reckless and life altering, not even realizing at the time that the stretch of the pain would reach as far as it did. And everything and everyone was connected in some way, some of the lines I saw intersecting, but some of the connections were surprising. I do love a great storyline that keeps me guessing!
Well written story with three dimensional characters that conveyed their part in the story flawlessly. The passion was on point, but not over the top as Squirt was so young, innocent, naive and fragile that Gordon had to handle him with kid gloves. This only made their characters more endearing not only to the reader, but to each other. The moral story hidden in the words of this book speak volumes as well. Life is short, make the right choices because they can and will come back to you, and they have consequences that will bleed into your future.
Yes, this is a must read.
*I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through http://www.mmgoodbookreviews.wordpres...*
Being jumped at the soup kitchen by three immoral teenagers wanna be thugs, Gordon steps in and saves Squirt, then feeds him. In a manner of minutes everything in Gordon’s life shifts. His focus, his want to live, and a need to protect Squirt from whatever haunts him. But Squirt is gone by the time Gordon finishes his shift, days later though, Squirt saves Gordon from a terrible fate and unlikely love story takes root.
Gordon can’t forgot that horrible night, the night that he killed a man by texting and driving while he was also slightly intoxicated. The smell of blood on the warm asphalt, the shrill screeching of metal, breaking glass and that ear piercing scream that he still hears ringing in his ears every damn day. Squirt isn’t without his secrets either, the problem is, Squirt himself doesn’t know what they are. He has scars, but he doesn’t remember how they got there. People call him Jerry, but he doesn’t remember that name, he only knows Squirt, and how much he wants to be with Gordon.
Gordon takes his time, afraid to move too fast and scare Squirt away. But soon enough they are loving each other and living together. But Gordon never tells Squirt about his past, so when he finds out on his own, it triggers something that has devastating consequences for both men.
This was a tragically beautiful love story with a fantastic ending. I laughed, I cried, I shouted at my kindle several times. In the end it was all worth it. Inman has written a story with one of the most flawed and imperfect characters I’ve ever read in Gordon who did something reckless and life altering, not even realizing at the time that the stretch of the pain would reach as far as it did. And everything and everyone was connected in some way, some of the lines I saw intersecting, but some of the connections were surprising. I do love a great storyline that keeps me guessing!
Well written story with three dimensional characters that conveyed their part in the story flawlessly. The passion was on point, but not over the top as Squirt was so young, innocent, naive and fragile that Gordon had to handle him with kid gloves. This only made their characters more endearing not only to the reader, but to each other. The moral story hidden in the words of this book speak volumes as well. Life is short, make the right choices because they can and will come back to you, and they have consequences that will bleed into your future.
Yes, this is a must read.
*I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through http://www.mmgoodbookreviews.wordpres...*
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