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Lose Well: A Hilarious Manifesto on Embracing Failure, Finding Purpose, and Living Life on Your Own Terms
A laugh-out-loud, kick-in-the-pants self-help narrative for anyone who ever felt like they didn’t fit in or couldn’t catch a break—comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard shows us how to get over our fear of failure and start living life on our own terms.
Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
Setting flame to vision boards and tossing out the "seven simple steps" to achieving anything, the host of the eponymous Trutv talk show and the wildly popular podcast Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People illustrates his personal and professional manifesto with hilarious and ultimately empowering stories about his own set-backs, missteps, and public failures, from the cancellation of his Comedy Central sitcom after seven episodes to rediscovering his comedic voice and life’s purpose on a public access channel.
With his trademark wit and inspiring storytelling—a cross between David Sedaris and Jenny Lawson—Gethard teaches us how to power through our own hero’s journey, whether we’re a fifteen-year-old starting a punk band or a fifty-year-old mother of three launching an Etsy page. In the process, he shows us how to fail with grace, laugh on the way down, and as we dust ourselves off, how to transform inevitable failures into endless opportunities. It might get a little messy, but that’s exactly the point. Because the first step in living on your own terms is learning how to lose well, and more often than not, the revolutionary act of failing lets us witness firsthand what awaits us on the other side.
Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
Setting flame to vision boards and tossing out the "seven simple steps" to achieving anything, the host of the eponymous Trutv talk show and the wildly popular podcast Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People illustrates his personal and professional manifesto with hilarious and ultimately empowering stories about his own set-backs, missteps, and public failures, from the cancellation of his Comedy Central sitcom after seven episodes to rediscovering his comedic voice and life’s purpose on a public access channel.
With his trademark wit and inspiring storytelling—a cross between David Sedaris and Jenny Lawson—Gethard teaches us how to power through our own hero’s journey, whether we’re a fifteen-year-old starting a punk band or a fifty-year-old mother of three launching an Etsy page. In the process, he shows us how to fail with grace, laugh on the way down, and as we dust ourselves off, how to transform inevitable failures into endless opportunities. It might get a little messy, but that’s exactly the point. Because the first step in living on your own terms is learning how to lose well, and more often than not, the revolutionary act of failing lets us witness firsthand what awaits us on the other side.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published October 16, 2018
119 people are currently reading
1892 people want to read
About the author
Chris Gethard
12 books118 followersPHOTO CREDIT: Zac X Wolf
Chris Gethard is an actor, comedian, and writer, who most recently starred in Comedy Central’s series Big Lake. Longtime performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, he lives in Queens, New York.
Chris Gethard is an actor, comedian, and writer, who most recently starred in Comedy Central’s series Big Lake. Longtime performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, he lives in Queens, New York.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 146 reviews
November 18, 2018
It’s honestly probably just a 3-star book, but I find Gethard just so damn charming that it earns the book another star. This books teeters between self-help and autobiographical humor. Unfortunately, the chapters seem to focus on just one or the other genres, making the book seem disjointed and unrelated at some points. Don’t get me wrong, the self-help portions are genuinely helpful and inspiring and the autobiographical chapters are funny and engaging, but it’s just trying to do a little too much. You can really see the skeleton of a more cohesive book here. Also Gethard does need to rely a little less on the antiquated and disproven, neoliberal tenet that hard work will get anything done at any time by any one. We all know and understand the value of hard work, but putting so much emphasis on grinding tends to devalue the impact that other, uncontrollable factors have on folks’ lives. Whatever. It’s still a solid book, easy read, and truly fun! Definitely recommend to people who need an extra push to do something good and stupid.
October 25, 2018
I got a copy of the audiobook, which surprisingly included a whole 2 hours and 32 minutes of bonus content! After the book there were a bunch of interviews with people who were mentioned in the book, who had some significant impact on Chris's life. I think the bonus interviews were a real treat, and it was interesting to hear other perspectives from people who shared certain experiences with him.
I've seen some reviewers saying that The Chris Gethard Show got cancelled after this was written, so they think that is somehow retroactively sad, or that it changes the book in some way... Not true! The audiobook was recorded after he made the announcement that TCGS was over, and it's not a topic he shies away from at all. (And in my opinion, that announcement was far from tragic. It's an ending, so of course there is going to be sadness that comes with that, but he seemed - and seems, throughout this book - quite content with the outcome of things, the run of the show, and the experiences he got to have in doing it over the years.) He also mentioned that the audiobook was even recorded in the room where he announced he was ending the show. I look forward to following his career beyond TCGS.
I've seen some reviewers saying that The Chris Gethard Show got cancelled after this was written, so they think that is somehow retroactively sad, or that it changes the book in some way... Not true! The audiobook was recorded after he made the announcement that TCGS was over, and it's not a topic he shies away from at all. (And in my opinion, that announcement was far from tragic. It's an ending, so of course there is going to be sadness that comes with that, but he seemed - and seems, throughout this book - quite content with the outcome of things, the run of the show, and the experiences he got to have in doing it over the years.) He also mentioned that the audiobook was even recorded in the room where he announced he was ending the show. I look forward to following his career beyond TCGS.
August 5, 2019
Loved it. Outright funny and frank. I didn’t know Chris Gethard before this. His show isn’t available here, but I’m definitely going to listen to his podcast.
October 27, 2018
3.5 stars.
I really wasn’t looking for an inspirational book (and didn’t realize that’s what the book was when I bought it), I just wanted to support Chris Gethard as a small payment for the hours of entertainment he’s provided me with. It’s a good book... I dig the sentiment. I guess I’d rather hear about his life than have him give me an inspirational speech though. So maybe I’ll just stick to his podcast and tv show... I DEFINITELY appreciated all his extra content on the audio version. More authors should do that!
So......not mind-blowing, but worth reading if you like his work!
I really wasn’t looking for an inspirational book (and didn’t realize that’s what the book was when I bought it), I just wanted to support Chris Gethard as a small payment for the hours of entertainment he’s provided me with. It’s a good book... I dig the sentiment. I guess I’d rather hear about his life than have him give me an inspirational speech though. So maybe I’ll just stick to his podcast and tv show... I DEFINITELY appreciated all his extra content on the audio version. More authors should do that!
So......not mind-blowing, but worth reading if you like his work!
October 24, 2020
“I don’t think you can change the world. But I do think you can change your world, in subtle ways, small ways, ways that remain internal and known only to you.”
so many incredible pieces of advice in this book, i loved it 🥺 Chris Gethard is so gentle and kind and his focus on the creative process & mental health made me more open to being gentle with myself. a must-read for creatives.
so many incredible pieces of advice in this book, i loved it 🥺 Chris Gethard is so gentle and kind and his focus on the creative process & mental health made me more open to being gentle with myself. a must-read for creatives.
November 8, 2018
About 30% humblebrag, 70% useful. I think I would have gotten more out of it if I shared Gethard's rather liberal definition of "failure," but overall it was an encouraging, warm and funny book about pursuing your dreams, even if they don't make sense to anyone but you.
January 26, 2019
An excellent read for fans of Gethard's comedy, his popular Beautiful Anonymous podcast, and writers/creative-types of all stripes. As far as entertainers go, Gethard is as genuine as they come. His advice is also sound; he has a gift for inspiring and motivating others without ever being preachy. Empathy is the word I always tend to think of when I describe his work to other people, and I think 'Lose Well,' particularly the audiobook version, encapsulates this, and so many of the other things that people love about him.
December 13, 2019
*Listened to the audio book*
Full disclosure - when I downloaded this audio book I had no idea who Chris Gethard was. I actually thought this book had something to do with weight loss because of the title and the white specks falling down that look like salt if you're in a food/weight loss frame of mind.
I can see why people like listening to this guy (I gleaned that he has his own podcast) because he has an interesting in a good way voice, and he's a great story teller. He also seems to be a very likable person and I respect his attitude toward life, which made me want to take his advice. And the advice is objectively good! I'm a tough love person, and he gives tough love advice, so it landed well with me on a number of points.
I give it a solid 4 stars, not five because it wasn't about weight loss.
Full disclosure - when I downloaded this audio book I had no idea who Chris Gethard was. I actually thought this book had something to do with weight loss because of the title and the white specks falling down that look like salt if you're in a food/weight loss frame of mind.
I can see why people like listening to this guy (I gleaned that he has his own podcast) because he has an interesting in a good way voice, and he's a great story teller. He also seems to be a very likable person and I respect his attitude toward life, which made me want to take his advice. And the advice is objectively good! I'm a tough love person, and he gives tough love advice, so it landed well with me on a number of points.
I give it a solid 4 stars, not five because it wasn't about weight loss.
Read
November 19, 2018Had Gethard on the podcast, and it was a ton of fun. As such, I read this book before doing so. It's the sort of thing I needed more at 19 than I do in my 30s, but I still got great insights into the way he sees the world!
February 3, 2020
I saw a review of Lose Hard that described this book as 70% good advice, 30% humblebrag. I think the reverse would be more fair. Chris Gethard is an extremely gifted comedian (I’ve seen him do improv and it’s amazing,) but this book was not funny. I smiled in amusement perhaps twice, and was otherwise mildly irritated the entire time that this very successful performer with a self-described amazing wife and home kept somehow also expecting his readers to accept him as a loser who has been rejected from mainstream success, but also as someone to whom we should look to for life advice. I found his stories entertaining but entirely without true vulnerability, as all of his stories meant to teach us a lesson about perseverance were also stories that make him seem like a well-liked, normal, successful person from a loving family. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not how he sells himself. I was frustrated with what this book could have been more than I was bothered reading it.
There’s some good advice. We SHOULD all go for what we want, and not let the fact that there isn’t a clear path get in the way of our effort. However, much of it is quite limited. What about the people whose passions aren’t creative, but rather involve reading more or spending more time with friends? What about people who want to do their job well, and wouldn’t benefit from flitting around from gig to gig the way a comedian can? This book is clearly geared toward the creative professions, and for someone who does creative work as a hobby and doesn’t want to make money at it, much of this did not feel like it applied to me.
The review on Goodreads where some woman thought this book was about weight loss, read the book, enjoyed it immensely, and docked it a star because it wasn’t about weight loss was more genuinely funny than any stories in this book, by the way. That shit’s hilarious.
There’s some good advice. We SHOULD all go for what we want, and not let the fact that there isn’t a clear path get in the way of our effort. However, much of it is quite limited. What about the people whose passions aren’t creative, but rather involve reading more or spending more time with friends? What about people who want to do their job well, and wouldn’t benefit from flitting around from gig to gig the way a comedian can? This book is clearly geared toward the creative professions, and for someone who does creative work as a hobby and doesn’t want to make money at it, much of this did not feel like it applied to me.
The review on Goodreads where some woman thought this book was about weight loss, read the book, enjoyed it immensely, and docked it a star because it wasn’t about weight loss was more genuinely funny than any stories in this book, by the way. That shit’s hilarious.
March 5, 2019
This book was not meant for me, at least not at my current state in life: content working by day and cooking dinner with my partner at night. Despite that, every story was so enjoyable, and each chapter had a nugget of wisdom I wanted to save. Even when I felt the book was starting to feel too prescriptive, Gethard says "Even this book. Examine every rule...Consider whether or not it works for you. If it does, keep it. If it doesn't, throw it out." The book's advice might not work for me now, but I look forward to rereading it in the future when I feel the desire to pursue something scary and need a small push to get over the fear of failure.
April 3, 2019
When I learned that Geth narrated his own book, the audiobook version was the only option for me. To hear his words in his own voice with candor and inflection, felt more like a conversation with a trusted old friend. I’ve read a few “self help” books, but in all honesty, this one beats them all for me. Geth is a real person with flaws. He’s nearly 40 & still trying to make his mark. He’s failed more times than he can count, but he uses those failures as stepping blocks. He doesn’t try to sugar coat anything. All of his stories felt familiar & relatable & I felt inspired each time I listened to a chapter. If you only have time for one self help book in your life, make it be this one.
June 21, 2019
I had never heard of Chris Gethard before this book came across my radar (I think as a library suggestion?). Also, I absolutely should have listened to this instead, because hearing him read it would be SO good. I loved this book. It was ridiculously entertaining, and his many failures that took so much effort and energy and commitment blew me away and inspired me. His desire to create regardless of the audience (or lack thereof) is awesome. Definitely a great book for a hesitant or unmotivated creative.
November 13, 2019
I went into this book feeling skeptical, but it's one of the best books on productivity and creativity I've ever read. Not only does Gethard have an interesting life and funny stories to tell, but he also has wonderful insight into the creative process. He's a standup comic, and as a result knows a lot about taking risks and processing failure. But most importantly he's get a clear sense of WHY you should be doing anything worth doing, and it has to do with creating opportunities for other people.
January 22, 2021
It’s great if you’re a Geth-head and probably good if you’re not! Geth already changed my life like 6 years ago when I started watching TCGS and discovered his community, but I still found this book to be very enlightening. Definitely full of advice and guidance for creatives that you or may not find elsewhere. It’s a breezy read and it’s engaging. For a “life advice” book this is not at all stale or dry.
September 24, 2024
I’ve owned this book for years and years and never read it, but I needed it right here and now. This is a mounted defense of the TBR pile.
Tested up multiple times throughout, especially during the “Public Access” chapter.
We’re going for it. Thanks, Gethard.
Tested up multiple times throughout, especially during the “Public Access” chapter.
We’re going for it. Thanks, Gethard.
October 21, 2018
Chris Gethard is probably one of the coolest and most original human beings alive. This book, while being a “self help” book is also part memoir, and made me laugh SO hard numerous times. I listened to the audiobook, but plan on purchasing a hardcover as well. No spoilers- but the audiobook extra content is the absolute BEST. So glad I downloaded it. Thanks Chris for several hours of a good time.
April 1, 2019
While I am probably not the target audience, which I suspect is under 50, I still found this book entertaining and inspirational.
February 6, 2022
I'm a fan of a lot of what Chris Gethard does, and his spirit behind doing it, and this book is no exception. I really enjoyed the audio especially, and his interviews afterwards.
May 30, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. It was fast, funny, and genuine. For fans of Chris Gethard and Beautiful anonymous, it’s a must read.
April 17, 2019
Pre-ordered this book back when Chris Gethard (pronounced Ge-thard, not Get-hard) emailed his newsletter list about it. I've been a fan of Gethard ever since I started taking improv classes at Upright Citizens Brigade in NYC. I've seen his improv many times, his stand up once, and even took an improv class with him. I watched a few clips of his public access Chris Gethard Show and watched all the episodes that were on TruTV (I never had Fusion to watch that season). I thought this book might be a fun read, but I was too busy trying to complete my 2018 Reading Challenge that I had to wait until 2019 to start this one.
I've been "reading" it for over two months... It wasn't horrible, but it definitely wasn't very compelling. Lose Well is basically half self-help book, half memoir—Gethard describes his theory on life in hopes it will help others. If you've seen his stand-up or watched his TV show, you'll already know most of the self-help details (Try hard, Accept failure, Never give up, Avoid rock bottom, etc.) and you may have already heard some of the memoir stories.
The book would probably be great on audio, given Gethard's excellent storytelling, but as a hardcover book, it was difficult to keep going. There were many weeks when I didn't open it at all... I'd probably have preferred a full memoir as those were my favorite parts of the book. His self-help advice is pretty cliche (which he admits) and in the end, he states that these rules don't apply to everyone and each reader should consider his advice & take whatever they feel would work for them.
I've been "reading" it for over two months... It wasn't horrible, but it definitely wasn't very compelling. Lose Well is basically half self-help book, half memoir—Gethard describes his theory on life in hopes it will help others. If you've seen his stand-up or watched his TV show, you'll already know most of the self-help details (Try hard, Accept failure, Never give up, Avoid rock bottom, etc.) and you may have already heard some of the memoir stories.
The book would probably be great on audio, given Gethard's excellent storytelling, but as a hardcover book, it was difficult to keep going. There were many weeks when I didn't open it at all... I'd probably have preferred a full memoir as those were my favorite parts of the book. His self-help advice is pretty cliche (which he admits) and in the end, he states that these rules don't apply to everyone and each reader should consider his advice & take whatever they feel would work for them.
July 1, 2019
Uniquely real and heartfelt account of Chris's experience with the world of comedy and failing gracefully in the entertainment industry. Chris takes a raw approach in this book to kick you in the ass and get going on that project you have been putting off because you are afraid to fail. Lose Well is encouraging, funny and well written.
May 15, 2018
I received a complimentary advance copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
While Gethard is known for The Chris Gethard Show and the Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People podcast, I’m only familiar with him as musical-guest-Jeff-Rosenstock-host and author of the consistently funny A Bad Thing I’m About To Do.
My stomach dipped a little upon quick realization that Lose Well would not be following the humorous essay format, but was a “self-help narrative.” I had just read Failing Up, which shared the same crux and I found a little lackluster – in short, I was burnt out on the theme of learning from your failures.
At times more self-help than narrative, and other times vice versa, overall Gethard maintains a palatable mix of the two (especially to a reader who was only interested the narrative). Gethard knows his audience well (at one point suggesting the reader might be thinking, “I’m going to skip to the funny parts”). The encouragement is a bit on the . . . not jaded side, but tempered? Gethard is no Pollyanna, but recognizes the extent that attitude and motivation (and learning from failure) play in moving ahead. This is no “Keep trying and you’ll eventually get there!” This is “It’s statistically unlikely that you’ll, but even if you don’t, wouldn’t you rather faceplant in a blaze of glory?”
For those who feel out of place in their small town / backwards community / dead end job, Gethard intersperses plenty of inspiring non-Gethard example figures into the text. From the Shaggs to street artists to friends who launched their dream careers late in life, Gethard gives plenty of counterexamples to the self-limiting ideas that you’re too old / too weird / too x to make a creative change in your life.
While the book is as funny as A Bad Idea…, the stories are (unsurprisingly) spread out a bit and used to support the self-help advice. Gethard’s anecdotes are great – which can make it a little maddening when you have to read an extra two or three pages to get to them (…again, coming from someone not really receptive or interested in advice at the moment). Gethard’s fluid writing style makes it easy to find oneself immersed in the tales, whether it’s a long, winding journey to a great twist, or just a few simple paragraphs. (High points include Gethard’s early foray into theatre via Bye, Bye, Birdie; his investigations while employed by Weird New Jersey; and a family road trip interrupted by a nose-diving falcon.)
Even though you already know that Gethard has found himself a degree of success, you still find yourself rooting for his character. He underscores the importance of hard work (as told through one of the funniest turns in the book, his pre-Y2k line job amid factory workers cum survivalists).
It’s refreshing to write a book review where, when it gets to the shortcomings, you really need to dig deep. Somewhere in my psyche I feel I’m not writing a “balanced” review if I don’t include some shortcomings, so here’s my best attempt:
*Was expecting a larger coup de grace in the Dusty story. Dusty seemed inept and inconsiderate, but didn’t quite come across as the complete “fuck scum” Gethard described him as.
*Should include an activity sheet with a connect-the-dots or maze page.
TLDR: Gethard’s humorous stories give an enjoyable arc to a self-help book that speaks to reluctant creatives and the atypical.
While Gethard is known for The Chris Gethard Show and the Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People podcast, I’m only familiar with him as musical-guest-Jeff-Rosenstock-host and author of the consistently funny A Bad Thing I’m About To Do.
My stomach dipped a little upon quick realization that Lose Well would not be following the humorous essay format, but was a “self-help narrative.” I had just read Failing Up, which shared the same crux and I found a little lackluster – in short, I was burnt out on the theme of learning from your failures.
At times more self-help than narrative, and other times vice versa, overall Gethard maintains a palatable mix of the two (especially to a reader who was only interested the narrative). Gethard knows his audience well (at one point suggesting the reader might be thinking, “I’m going to skip to the funny parts”). The encouragement is a bit on the . . . not jaded side, but tempered? Gethard is no Pollyanna, but recognizes the extent that attitude and motivation (and learning from failure) play in moving ahead. This is no “Keep trying and you’ll eventually get there!” This is “It’s statistically unlikely that you’ll, but even if you don’t, wouldn’t you rather faceplant in a blaze of glory?”
For those who feel out of place in their small town / backwards community / dead end job, Gethard intersperses plenty of inspiring non-Gethard example figures into the text. From the Shaggs to street artists to friends who launched their dream careers late in life, Gethard gives plenty of counterexamples to the self-limiting ideas that you’re too old / too weird / too x to make a creative change in your life.
While the book is as funny as A Bad Idea…, the stories are (unsurprisingly) spread out a bit and used to support the self-help advice. Gethard’s anecdotes are great – which can make it a little maddening when you have to read an extra two or three pages to get to them (…again, coming from someone not really receptive or interested in advice at the moment). Gethard’s fluid writing style makes it easy to find oneself immersed in the tales, whether it’s a long, winding journey to a great twist, or just a few simple paragraphs. (High points include Gethard’s early foray into theatre via Bye, Bye, Birdie; his investigations while employed by Weird New Jersey; and a family road trip interrupted by a nose-diving falcon.)
Even though you already know that Gethard has found himself a degree of success, you still find yourself rooting for his character. He underscores the importance of hard work (as told through one of the funniest turns in the book, his pre-Y2k line job amid factory workers cum survivalists).
It’s refreshing to write a book review where, when it gets to the shortcomings, you really need to dig deep. Somewhere in my psyche I feel I’m not writing a “balanced” review if I don’t include some shortcomings, so here’s my best attempt:
*Was expecting a larger coup de grace in the Dusty story. Dusty seemed inept and inconsiderate, but didn’t quite come across as the complete “fuck scum” Gethard described him as.
*Should include an activity sheet with a connect-the-dots or maze page.
TLDR: Gethard’s humorous stories give an enjoyable arc to a self-help book that speaks to reluctant creatives and the atypical.
December 3, 2018
winning by losing what you don't want (or need)
A sort of self-help love letter to weirdos with nascent creative ambitions, this book is a blend of advice, anecdote, and a philosophy of productive failure. For those of you who don’t know Gethard, a primer: he’s a comedian-improviser known for his call-in podcast Beautiful/Anonymous, a HBO comedy special called Career Suicide, and one of the zaniest variety shows to ever be produced, the recently canceled Chris Gethard Show.
Perhaps the best way to crystalize this book is to focus on the latter of the three—a beloved cult show that went from public access to small channel cable to national cable only to get canceled by the suits. You see, Gethard reps the underground unapologetically. He’s had some mainstream success, landed his own sitcom, been the number one podcast in the country, performed before crowds of thousands. But he’s not a household name. Not an A-List Celebrity. Maybe not even B-List. In fact, he proudly identifies as a loser. So what advice does he have to offer to anyone when he hasn’t rocketed to fame and fortune himself? Frankly, a lot. Gethard’s career is about integrity and hard work. And those things, along with a lot of luck, are the difference between success and failure. No one can teach you about being lucky. But if anyone can teach you about hard work and resilience, it’s Gethard.
The first part of this book focuses on breaking down the stigma of failure. It’s not unlike some of the things you’ll read from serial entrepreneurs—failure is a way of finding out what doesn’t succeed. Those who can stomach failure can find the recipe for success, so long as they have the time and energy to do it. In this regard, the book doesn’t tread new ground, though its familiar platitudes are offered in the language of DIY outsiders. Where it really delivers is on Gethard’s frank recounting of his own personal failures and how they reoriented him to his current success, as well as his confrontation of the paralyzing fear that stemmed from an inability to honestly commit to his dreams. This advice for creators is from someone who’s lived the life, in the trenches, toiling in obscurity, making his break instead of waiting for the impossible.
And that’s where Lose Well resonates, particularly for me and this channel where I review things for single digit views with my cat as a prop for an audience of ten subscribers. If you were to ask me honestly why I do this, I don’t think I could articulate it well. It probably boils down to some version of I have some things to say, my cat is cute, and this is an outlet for those two things. It’s not done for a zillion views or ad monetization or to propel me to some career as a book reviewer. I make these videos because I think they should exist their its own right. And this book is a love letter for folks who do what they do for the same reason, whether they have found success or not. It provides solace for when we inevitably fail, because failure is part and parcel of success. It provides support for the weird things, because weird things are signal, not noise. It encourages us to do what we dream, because while stalling protects us from the vulnerability of trying, it is also succumbing to failure without any risk of success. Most importantly, this book is permission to not apologize for having dreams. Rated 4 stars and 9 rubs.
A sort of self-help love letter to weirdos with nascent creative ambitions, this book is a blend of advice, anecdote, and a philosophy of productive failure. For those of you who don’t know Gethard, a primer: he’s a comedian-improviser known for his call-in podcast Beautiful/Anonymous, a HBO comedy special called Career Suicide, and one of the zaniest variety shows to ever be produced, the recently canceled Chris Gethard Show.
Perhaps the best way to crystalize this book is to focus on the latter of the three—a beloved cult show that went from public access to small channel cable to national cable only to get canceled by the suits. You see, Gethard reps the underground unapologetically. He’s had some mainstream success, landed his own sitcom, been the number one podcast in the country, performed before crowds of thousands. But he’s not a household name. Not an A-List Celebrity. Maybe not even B-List. In fact, he proudly identifies as a loser. So what advice does he have to offer to anyone when he hasn’t rocketed to fame and fortune himself? Frankly, a lot. Gethard’s career is about integrity and hard work. And those things, along with a lot of luck, are the difference between success and failure. No one can teach you about being lucky. But if anyone can teach you about hard work and resilience, it’s Gethard.
The first part of this book focuses on breaking down the stigma of failure. It’s not unlike some of the things you’ll read from serial entrepreneurs—failure is a way of finding out what doesn’t succeed. Those who can stomach failure can find the recipe for success, so long as they have the time and energy to do it. In this regard, the book doesn’t tread new ground, though its familiar platitudes are offered in the language of DIY outsiders. Where it really delivers is on Gethard’s frank recounting of his own personal failures and how they reoriented him to his current success, as well as his confrontation of the paralyzing fear that stemmed from an inability to honestly commit to his dreams. This advice for creators is from someone who’s lived the life, in the trenches, toiling in obscurity, making his break instead of waiting for the impossible.
And that’s where Lose Well resonates, particularly for me and this channel where I review things for single digit views with my cat as a prop for an audience of ten subscribers. If you were to ask me honestly why I do this, I don’t think I could articulate it well. It probably boils down to some version of I have some things to say, my cat is cute, and this is an outlet for those two things. It’s not done for a zillion views or ad monetization or to propel me to some career as a book reviewer. I make these videos because I think they should exist their its own right. And this book is a love letter for folks who do what they do for the same reason, whether they have found success or not. It provides solace for when we inevitably fail, because failure is part and parcel of success. It provides support for the weird things, because weird things are signal, not noise. It encourages us to do what we dream, because while stalling protects us from the vulnerability of trying, it is also succumbing to failure without any risk of success. Most importantly, this book is permission to not apologize for having dreams. Rated 4 stars and 9 rubs.
August 30, 2021
Pulled quotes...
"But if you ask me, failure is the secret to success. The road to your dreams is paved with asphalt that's composed of a combination of your fear, shame, desperation, and misery. This is not a book that will teach you how to hit a home run. It shows you instead how to become world class at striking out." (11)
"Sometimes success means sitting in a pile of garbag3e, and sometimes failure means you get to put on the best show of your life" (14)
"We fear failure. Our instinct is to avoid it. We have this faint feeling that failure is like a fire that will burn everything down." (16)
"We live in a culture where there appear to be two options: win or lose. Because of this, we often fall into the trap of pursuing a hidden, insidious third option. We don't chase the glory of the win. Instead, we set out to not lose. This is one of the most detrimental behaviors to achieving a desired goal. Not losing is not the same as winning." (19)
"You want to get out there and go for it. That's great. Failure is your friend. Winning is your goal, or losing is your goal. You never want to land in that sad middle ground where you haven't failed." (31)
"Working-class dreamers are a rare breed of people who know the intrinsic value of effort and honesty. Never forget that living your dream doesn't mean walking away from your working-class ethic." (64)
"One of the least productive mind-sets for creativity is the dangerous middle ground of half in and half out. Sitting around with vague self-imposed deadlines never helps." (75)
"There will be days when you think no one else in this world believes in you or your dreams, and you will be right. During those times, you must find a way to be your own greatest champion." (86)
"My greatest asset is that I'm a total f***ing weirdo." (93)
"You have to learn to turn off the self-doubt about [your most unique] ideas. They are the greatest currency you have. Until you learn to erase the self-doubt surrounding them, you will never truly be able to bet on yourself." (94)
"All the good shit started for me when I stopped apologizing for who I was and what I wanted." (96)
"Failure is a beautiful, inspiring starting point. Punk proves this through and through, time and time again." (108)
"It's easier to survive beautiful disasters when you have allies in the cause. Friends and compatriots remind you that when your world burns you should stand right next to the flame. Fires are warm and, sometimes, they light the way." (141)
"Venting frustration is healthy and necessary. Directing anger at undeserving targets isn't the same thing. One is an honest way to let negativity go so you can move on. The other is a way to make an excuse for your own failure. When you make excuses for your failures, you lose the potential to let failures teach you something." (162)
"I walked into a public access station and I met my wife. She has my back harder than anyone ever has. She once had a dream that someone messed with me and she killed them with a fork." (198)
"[I]f you're not terrified, you're not challenging yourself. Put in the work and see where you can really take this thing. If you're not feeling scared, you're not growing. If there's no room to grow, then there's no room to breathe. Things that can't breathe die, even ambitions." (225)
"But if you ask me, failure is the secret to success. The road to your dreams is paved with asphalt that's composed of a combination of your fear, shame, desperation, and misery. This is not a book that will teach you how to hit a home run. It shows you instead how to become world class at striking out." (11)
"Sometimes success means sitting in a pile of garbag3e, and sometimes failure means you get to put on the best show of your life" (14)
"We fear failure. Our instinct is to avoid it. We have this faint feeling that failure is like a fire that will burn everything down." (16)
"We live in a culture where there appear to be two options: win or lose. Because of this, we often fall into the trap of pursuing a hidden, insidious third option. We don't chase the glory of the win. Instead, we set out to not lose. This is one of the most detrimental behaviors to achieving a desired goal. Not losing is not the same as winning." (19)
"You want to get out there and go for it. That's great. Failure is your friend. Winning is your goal, or losing is your goal. You never want to land in that sad middle ground where you haven't failed." (31)
"Working-class dreamers are a rare breed of people who know the intrinsic value of effort and honesty. Never forget that living your dream doesn't mean walking away from your working-class ethic." (64)
"One of the least productive mind-sets for creativity is the dangerous middle ground of half in and half out. Sitting around with vague self-imposed deadlines never helps." (75)
"There will be days when you think no one else in this world believes in you or your dreams, and you will be right. During those times, you must find a way to be your own greatest champion." (86)
"My greatest asset is that I'm a total f***ing weirdo." (93)
"You have to learn to turn off the self-doubt about [your most unique] ideas. They are the greatest currency you have. Until you learn to erase the self-doubt surrounding them, you will never truly be able to bet on yourself." (94)
"All the good shit started for me when I stopped apologizing for who I was and what I wanted." (96)
"Failure is a beautiful, inspiring starting point. Punk proves this through and through, time and time again." (108)
"It's easier to survive beautiful disasters when you have allies in the cause. Friends and compatriots remind you that when your world burns you should stand right next to the flame. Fires are warm and, sometimes, they light the way." (141)
"Venting frustration is healthy and necessary. Directing anger at undeserving targets isn't the same thing. One is an honest way to let negativity go so you can move on. The other is a way to make an excuse for your own failure. When you make excuses for your failures, you lose the potential to let failures teach you something." (162)
"I walked into a public access station and I met my wife. She has my back harder than anyone ever has. She once had a dream that someone messed with me and she killed them with a fork." (198)
"[I]f you're not terrified, you're not challenging yourself. Put in the work and see where you can really take this thing. If you're not feeling scared, you're not growing. If there's no room to grow, then there's no room to breathe. Things that can't breathe die, even ambitions." (225)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 10, 2019
I'm a fan of Chris Gethard's work, especially his podcast (Beautiful/Anonymous) and his HBO special (Career Suicide), so I was probably prone to enjoy this book. It's a treatise on the ways in which failure can sometime lead to success in unexpected ways, based on Chris's lived experience.
If you're looking for a true self-help book with step-by-step instructions for how to get what you want, this is not it. But if someone promises you such a thing, they're probably being dishonest at worst and overly simplistic at best.
I enjoyed learning about Chris's personal circuitous path to a fulfilling, gainful career. I appreciate his belief in the value of working hard in order to be ready to take advantage of opportunities that may come your way. He also stresses the importance of not being afraid to fail and of using failure as a learning experience.
It's an inspiring and enjoyable read. There aren't any truly unique insights here, but Chris's anecdotes about his own life made the read worth it for me.
I recommend the audiobook. Chris, as a comedian, is a wonderful storyteller, so this is fun to listen to in his own voice. In addition, the audiobook has some cool bonus material.
If you're looking for a true self-help book with step-by-step instructions for how to get what you want, this is not it. But if someone promises you such a thing, they're probably being dishonest at worst and overly simplistic at best.
I enjoyed learning about Chris's personal circuitous path to a fulfilling, gainful career. I appreciate his belief in the value of working hard in order to be ready to take advantage of opportunities that may come your way. He also stresses the importance of not being afraid to fail and of using failure as a learning experience.
It's an inspiring and enjoyable read. There aren't any truly unique insights here, but Chris's anecdotes about his own life made the read worth it for me.
I recommend the audiobook. Chris, as a comedian, is a wonderful storyteller, so this is fun to listen to in his own voice. In addition, the audiobook has some cool bonus material.
June 13, 2019
This book is an epic tale for anyone feeling discouraged. It was a joy to read and to get a glimpse of how someone with “overnight success” takes a decade or so of sacrifice and blood sweat and tears to get that success. I first saw Gethard by stumbling upon his HBO special and couldn’t take my eyes from the TV set. He’s a master storyteller and I hope he continues to scare himself and fail more and ever rise to new heights of greatness. And even before this book hit the shelves, The Chris Gethard Show was canceled by its cable overlords. I watched an episode or two, it’s not for everyone of course, but it is wonderful to see all the contributors in TCGS cult reveling in their weirdness. And it’s amazing what he built from a public access TV show. I’m so happy to live in a time when people can do crazy stuff like that and can make a living at it and make so many people happy. If you are the kind of person who hopes someday to make something and just haven’t done it yet, read this book and then go do the thing that you are afraid to do. Fail big. And then do it again. I hope ChrisG stays weird and keeps making stuff.
March 2, 2023
As a massive fan of Chris Gethard's for several years now, I've had this on 'my list' since it came out. Admittedly, the rating would probably be a 3.5 but I will gladly round up to 4 in this case.
The reasons I've long been in Gethard's corner (even though he has zero idea who I am) are on full display throughout this book. He's authentically himself, he's got an incredible work ethic, his sense of humor is very much in line with mine (goes without saying), and he's got a level of determination that only few possess.
Throughout Lose Well, he tells stories that illustrate those qualities, that explain the origin stories of some of those traits, and reflects on how he found success.
I'll leave you with this, if you like rooting for the underdogs, this book is for you. Oh, and if you haven't yet, you should definitely go watch the Dumpster episode of The Chris Gethard Show. You won't regret it.
The reasons I've long been in Gethard's corner (even though he has zero idea who I am) are on full display throughout this book. He's authentically himself, he's got an incredible work ethic, his sense of humor is very much in line with mine (goes without saying), and he's got a level of determination that only few possess.
Throughout Lose Well, he tells stories that illustrate those qualities, that explain the origin stories of some of those traits, and reflects on how he found success.
I'll leave you with this, if you like rooting for the underdogs, this book is for you. Oh, and if you haven't yet, you should definitely go watch the Dumpster episode of The Chris Gethard Show. You won't regret it.
July 17, 2023
I did not expect to laugh out loud so many times while reading a self-help book.
Chris Gethard (pronounced geth-ard, not get hard) is an almost famous comedian/actor and author. He admits a few times that he’s had things pretty easy, due to the way that society treats white men, but most/all of his advice can be used by anyone. And if it doesn’t work for you, Gethard advises getting rid of it.
The audiobook features a few half-hour interviews with people who played prominent parts in his life (and also this book). Unfortunately, his wife and parents are not included in these interviews. But his brother, a friend from fourth grade, and a former boss are; and they are all the nicest and most gracious people.
CWs: threat of child rape, dead animal, hand injury, and admiration for punk music. (OK, the last one doesn’t require CW, but you will still come away with a love for the genre).
Chris Gethard (pronounced geth-ard, not get hard) is an almost famous comedian/actor and author. He admits a few times that he’s had things pretty easy, due to the way that society treats white men, but most/all of his advice can be used by anyone. And if it doesn’t work for you, Gethard advises getting rid of it.
The audiobook features a few half-hour interviews with people who played prominent parts in his life (and also this book). Unfortunately, his wife and parents are not included in these interviews. But his brother, a friend from fourth grade, and a former boss are; and they are all the nicest and most gracious people.
CWs: threat of child rape, dead animal, hand injury, and admiration for punk music. (OK, the last one doesn’t require CW, but you will still come away with a love for the genre).
November 22, 2020
The most underestimated source of power is losing.
There’s a difference in winning and in playing not to lose.
The goal is not to avoid losing. The goal is learning how to lose well.
Lose. Lose proudly. Lose often. Lose well.
The only way to break a habit is to make a new one.
Remind yourself every day that you make thousands of choices every day. Those choices are yours.
They are also your choices to change.
A dream is worth the sacrifice when it shows up in your life
and leaves you no choice but to pursue it.
Why this? Why here? Why now?
As long as you ride your efforts out to the edge of your comfort zone, you are allowed to walk away.
Seeds get planted every day. Apologizing for them stomps their ability to blossom.
Make an active effort to live a life filled with outlandish, unexpected, disruptive moments.
There’s a difference in winning and in playing not to lose.
The goal is not to avoid losing. The goal is learning how to lose well.
Lose. Lose proudly. Lose often. Lose well.
The only way to break a habit is to make a new one.
Remind yourself every day that you make thousands of choices every day. Those choices are yours.
They are also your choices to change.
A dream is worth the sacrifice when it shows up in your life
and leaves you no choice but to pursue it.
Why this? Why here? Why now?
As long as you ride your efforts out to the edge of your comfort zone, you are allowed to walk away.
Seeds get planted every day. Apologizing for them stomps their ability to blossom.
Make an active effort to live a life filled with outlandish, unexpected, disruptive moments.
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