Beta: Quiet Girls Can Run the World: There is more than one way to be the boss

by Rebecca Holman

What does success look like? 5AM conference calls and late nights in the office? Winning every argument in the office and always getting your own way? What does a successful woman look like? The shoulder-pad wearing Alpha? The dogmatist who rules with an iron fist?

The reality is far more nuanced. Yet women are still pigeonholed as Alpha boss, or Beta secretary or assistant. When 47% of the workforce are reduced to two unhelpful stereotypes, how can you embrace your inner Beta and be a success on your own terms?

It's an important question because the world is changing, fast. Successful companies need people who can lead with emotional intelligence, be flexible to new ideas and adapt their plans when required, leaving their ego at the door. The Beta woman's time is now.

Beta celebrates the collaborators, the pragmatists, and the people who believe that being nice works and getting your own way isn't always the most important thing. It is a call-to-arms that explores the unsung workforce of Beta women who are being great bosses, great leaders and are still living their own lives: having relationships, making time for friends, having families. Beta inspires confidence and will help you in the workplace.

Fully researched and rich with interviews, anecdotes and case studies, Beta is a smart and entertaining read that really explores the role of women in the workplace today.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Personal Development, Audiobook, Leadership, Business

230 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2017

Reviews

[Nia Ireland · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not normally a great reader of non-fiction, particularly career-guide stuff but I decided to give this a go.

The book starts of strong, defining the difference between the Alpha and Beta women in the workplace and their different approaches. I really enjoyed the anecdotes that the author gathered from what I guess are friends, current and former colleagues. I don't remember any anecdotes from women over 40 though which is a pity because any woman with 20+ years of workplace experience is going to have some excellent advice on how to hold her own.

I have to say that this book did lose its direction by the end, it strayed from 'How to kick ass as a Beta' to 'Is that even possible?' which was a bit disconcerting. The overall view to me seemed that it's only possible if you've got a few Alpha tendencies in the mix to keep you balanced out.

I don't think this kind of book is for me, really, so take that into account as you read this review and my rating of the book.

Though I don't feel like this book had anything particularly applicable to me, it has encouraged me to really think about how to work to my strengths and get my own agenda/messages across without having to shout. If not a book with all the answers, it's definitely a conversation starter and a step in the right direction for finding balance between personality types in the workplace.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Being a quiet woman, I had high hopes for this book, but it was a big let down. I expected it to be a book about how introverted women can succeed at work, but it’s not. Instead Holman creates a nonsensical dichotomy between Betas (people who have the same personality as her) and Alphas (everyone else). In her Beta description, she equates being introverted with being insecure, not put together, not well-dressed, and caring more about work life balance than extroverts. But those things have nothing to do with each other. It makes absolutely no sense. The rest of the book rambles on about women in the workplace and social media with really no practical advice for introverts in the workplace.

[Emmy Hermina Nathasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always been fascinated by the alpha-beta traits. Previously, I've read Sonya Rhodess' book "The Alpha Woman Meets Her Match: How Today's Strong Women Can Find Love and Happiness Without Settling". I was always convinced that I am an alpha. But the test I took in this book proved me wrong, just a bit. I'm a 55% Beta and 45% Alpha.

So, when Alyssa offered me a free copy from Pansing, I am intrigue to know more. You see, before this, convinced that I'm an alpha, I read numerous articles on the subject and find myself nodding and agree with the points in them.

Now that I happen to realise that I'm leaning towards Beta, I am curious to read and understand what exactly a Beta is.

Before that, let's be clear on one thing. There's no such thing as an absolute ideals of classification for human being. We can predict, create names and try to put people in certain boxes, and the result might come out as almost true, but its not 100% absolute. Everyone has an Alpha and a Beta in them. The difference is the percentage of them in you, and where and when do you 'use' them.

So, reading this book is quite a revelation to me. I find myself 'boleh masuk' with the author since she is also 34 years old and have somewhat a certain amount of working experience as I do. This is a book that you read to understand what a Beta is, and why being a Beta is considered by society as second grade to an Alpha - in terms of working environment.

An Alpha is used widely to portrayed ambitious & bold women, a woman who knows what she wants and will go for it. Whereas a Beta is like, the secretary. The person in the meeting who doesn't speak much, seems timid and quiet. (More explanation can be found in the book)

Rebecca Holman, a self-profess Beta claimed that Betas can also succeed in the world, and that women doesn't have to be an Alpha (or pretend to be someone they're not) in order to be successful. (I agree to this as success is subjective, not everyone wants to be the CEO of a company).

What Holman disagrees with, is how society and media portrays that women have to be an Alpha to succeed. Women being raised thinking that they have to mould themselves to be daring, bold, speak out and speak up, become the superwoman that can do anything and looks flawless while doing it. She said that even though you don't speak out in a meeting, you can still discuss your ideas with your boss personally. Its just a different approach. She was quite disagree with the fact that you need to be loud to be heard. There are ways to convey what you do without creating attention.

While I was reading this, I find myself agreeing to some points of hers, and disagreeing in others. That's normal, I'm not a full Beta, I'm a mix of both. I am sure those who have read this (or plans to read this later) will feel the same way. A smart woman is someone who knows what to do and 'use' in a situation.

She knows that she has to portray confidence when presenting a proposal to a group of people - regardless of whether she's a Beta or an Alpha.

She knows when to express her ideas in a group of people, not merely voicing out opinions just for the sake of participating - regardless of whether she is a Beta or an Alpha.

And so on, and so forth.

Overall, this is a good book. It's easy to read, I finished this in two days (siap tagging cos I know I need to refer to it when writing my review, haha)

Totally recommend this to everyone so that we can understand more about the dynamics of Alpha and Beta classification, and in doing so, understand ourselves more.

My rating: 4/5

[Jo-Ann Duff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beta: Quiet Girls Can Run The World. There Is More Than One Way To Be The Boss

What does success look like for women in the workplace? Is it hitting the gym at 5 am every morning and then going from power meeting to presentation after presentation all day long? Is it working later than everyone else, scowling at anyone else who leaves on time? Can you only be successful if you rule your team by fear and by always getting your own way?

Women in business are far more individual, but the stereotypes are either that of a ball busting Alpha female who terrifies all who fall in her path, or the quiet secretary, nice to everyone, buzzing around getting stuff done but with little acknowledgment or fashion sense. The Devil Wears Prada is a classic example.

I found this out myself while creating the banner for this blog.  Typing in Canva and Pixabay search phrases such as 'women in business', or 'female boss' brought up images of old battleaxes in power suits and a stern faces devoid of emotion, or pretty young women looking wistfully at a laptop, or more worryingly, looking stressed or about to cry in a coffee shop, laptop at her table.

What's Beta About?

Author Rebecca Holman doesn't do much to challenge any of these stereotypes, merely reinforce that they are out there in the workplace today.  Beta is full of anecdotes and interviews from women who have had challenges in the workplace, with a focus on Beta females experiences with a general feel of 'it's fine to be a Beta female, don't beat yourself up about it.'

There are some positive messages in here, but nothing groundbreaking. Yes, Instagram influencers look like they have a perfect life, but they more than likely have their own insecurities, and if you feel jealous, or inadequate following these wonder women on Insta, then simply unfollow. Stop winding yourself up. If you work for a tiresome Alpha bully, leave and find your own beta tribe. If you don't get to the gym 5 times a week, it doesn't mean you are a failure at life. See? Not particularly eye opening.

Is Beta Worth The Read?

Although the book is clearly for the benefit of Beta women, and explains that Beta women are just as good at their jobs, I did feel that there was some bias against Alpha women and that Holman didn't do much to challenge that stereotype at all.  I, for example, would class myself as Beta. I like to just get on and do the job and maintain great workplace relationships, but that doesn't mean my Alpha personality remains hidden when push comes to shove. I can tap into my inner Alpha when needed, and this has brought about some stereotypical, sexist comments. If a guy adjusts his voice to communicate the seriousness of a matter, yet remains direct, clear and sets an expectation for the team is he emotional or scary? No, he's dominant, owning the situation and is the man to take control and get the project done.

Beta is certainly an interesting read, but it doesn't challenge us women to get out there and shake things up. It's more a book which reinforces the message that 'you're ok just the way you are.' Which is terribly Beta!

If you like this, you might like Amy Cuddy - Presence

2.5 out fo 5 from me.  An interesting read which is more reassuring than inspiring.

Given to me by Hachette in exchange for an honest review

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved the stated premise of this book, but I had lots of issues with its execution. I will note that the author shares a few reflections about her own experiences in the work world, and those were interesting.
However, I had lots of problems with the rest of the book.

First, its scope is not the same as the title’s scope. The title makes it sound like it’s about “quiet” women in the workplace. It’s actually about “beta” women in the workplace. Since I had wanted to read about quiet women in the workplace, this was a bit of a disappointment.

Second, the term “beta” isn’t really a proven term and isn’t a term the author defines adequately in the book. I think she’s actually just wanting to write about “non alphas”, but I’m not sure about that and I also don’t know for sure how she’d define an alpha precisely, anyway. So I’m not absolutely clear of what the intended scope of this book is supposed to be.

Third, many chapters stray from the stated scope (beta women at work). Some of the chapters were really just about being a woman in the workplace. They weren’t particularly bad; I was just really confused about why they were being covered in this book—they didn’t align with my hoped-for scope about quiet women, and they didn’t align with the author’s stated scope about beta women, and they didn’t align with the scope she actually wrote much of the book about (non alpha women).

After reading this book, I would still really like to read a book about how quiet girls can run the world! This book isn’t about that in any consistent way, and it would be a great topic to write a book about.

[kjade · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this would be similar to Susan Cain's "Quiet" which is why I picked it up (I love reading about non-traditional ways of being a leader/embracing the more introverted aspects of ourselves) but it was far from it. Although this book makes reference to Cain, there seems to be a lot less hard science or research to back up the term "Beta". It contains a lot of good info about navigating a male dominated workplace as a woman, and I think the book should be marketed as that. Although the author constantly says she does not want to be reductive in the Alpha/Beta labels, it comes across as reductive. Overall, a good book about being a woman in the workplace, but not specifically about being a "Beta" (using the word loosely as the term was never really fleshed out in the book) in the workplace.

[Fera Khalil · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a relatable book. Expected it to be more "factual" but it was a lot more anecdotal, which was fine too.

"We aren't one person all of the times for all our lives, & by sticking too dogmatically to who our authebtic self is, and by staying jn our comfort zobe, we risk stunting our development."

- Beta, Rebecca Holman

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Starts out somewhat informative, but seems to lose its way. I expected to find more tangible examples of how to be the boss as a beta, but after listening to the audio, I'm at a loss. While I appreciate there are differences between alpha and beta (and I buy Holman's premise it's more a spectrum), I also think there's more than a binary spectrum. Somewhere around the halfway point, much of her tone toward alphas turned outright negative and like an exaggerated caricature, and she often uses stereotypes about alphas. I'm still confused about her "fake it til you make it" message followed by the "be authentic, you can't fake it" messages. If you feel you really must read this book, read the first chapter or so and the last chapter.

[Kelly Moran · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got 30 pages in and had to stop. This book couldn't decide what it is: a critique on the unreasonable expectations put on women or an alternative to the (apparently real and very obviously present) examples of female success. The title and the description sold me on a book that would describe how being thoughtful, compassionate, and deliberate could be a powerful way to lead. Instead it almost held up the merits of being mediocre instead. I was not inspired to make my personality style work for me but instead to accept a supporting (and for some reason less stylish?) role. All in 30 pages.

[Dawn Wadeson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the writing style of this book and some of the concepts were interesting. I found that some chapters had no weight to the proposed purpose of the book (showing ways that women with Beta personality types can grow their careers into Leadership). I also found that some of the experience or “advice” shared around the books purpose was very one dimensional and open to bias as it was the authors personal views/experiences shaping it. I didn’t come away with a lot of learnings which was a little disappointing.

[Nanadhoi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Takes too long to finish this books. Bagi aku buku ni agak membosankan, aybe because too much fact or statistik yang diselitkan penulis. And sometimes aku rasa content buku ni some sort of lari dari topik. Bagi aku la. Probably because of my expectations seems not really fully met.



Part of the contents menarik, manage to highlight few points yang menarik. Cuma tu lah, statistic terlalu banyak buat aku rasa bosan and quite struggling untuk habiskan pembacaan.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are female and work, you are probably already aware of everything that’s touched on in this book. It is not so much a step-by-step “how to” manual, as a collection of essays about scientific studies and anecdotes. It would probably be a good read for men who want to be more aware.

[Peter Geyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're as interested in personality (pick your definition) as I am, then books like this can drag you in to check them out and see what they have to say.

Depending on your education and place of origin, the title "Beta" could imply "better" – at least that came to me just before I sat down to write this review.

The title apparently refers to constructs used by an organisation consultant called called Eddie Erlandson, who I had to look up. I should say at this point that a humble ex-consultant in this field, I don't think this helps the credibility of the ideas presented in this book. This is in part because the use of models is widespread whose claims are that they're useful, not that they necessarily relate to what human beings actually do or think of feel.

Holman demonstrates this by providing explanations of what Alpha and Beta mean and then proceeding to muddy the waters about the possible kinds of people that result. In fact, what I read of this book (about half and then I had to completely stop) largely undermined whatever distinctions she may have started off with.

For me, this book is better understood as the particular experiences of a woman of a particular age in the workplace, with all the problems of identity issues sparked by social media, influences and the like and the dilemmas of trying to fit in under particular situations, a number of which being gender-related i.e. a particular male stereotype, which some women express.

This means that the book isn't directed at me, because I'm not female, not ot of a particular age, and was never career driven.

"Fake it until you make it" is discussed at one point, for instance, which seems to be begging several questions regarding why "making it" requires you to be someone else and whether this is the environment for you to work in. Holman might respond that workplaces are such that you have to do that in order to survive, providing some anecdotes from herself and others in support of this contention.

Although personality models (some quite robust) can be used to explain and address cultural and organisational issues that she raises, Holman's Betas and Alphas are too flimsy to be of benefit, as I see it anyway. In some respects they are a sideshow to her own struggles with identity and confidence which is a theme she returns to throughout and made me try and finish the book because of the struggle she was describing, also referencing the struggles and experiences of others.

I gave this book a higher rating than I would be inclined to do because of that and hope she arrives at better explanations of her dilemma as a female in workplaces where being someone else appears to be a requirement and management or supervisory presumptions and abilities leave a lot to be desired.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book covers a series of topics regarding scenarios and events in the workplace that everyone has most likely gone through. Even though this is not a step-by-step book on how to become more Alpha or how to change who you are to fit into the typical Alpha leadership role. This book helps change your perspective on how you should look at yourself or others with beta traits in a positive light. If you are a quiet person who truly feels like a fish out of water within your work environment, if you are always wondering if you are doing the right things, this book is for you.

This book provides you with a pep talk through a series of encouraging statements that can help you build confidence in who you are within the work environment. The author uses data, statistics, theories, and stories of people's experiences.

I enjoyed the book much more when I realized that it wasn't a guide to becoming more alpha. It was entertaining and funny in places in regards to different stories and epiphanies that the author has about her journey in discovering her Betaness.
Even though, some parts of the book briefly shared data and research. I felt like it should have been explained in more detail to help support the idea and argument being presented.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book 45 of 2022. Format: Hardback. Genre: Non Fiction

1.5 stars. I am definitely a beta woman in the workplace. 100%. The first page had me excited to read more, I really thought I had found the book that spoke for me and would help me better understand myself and my colleagues.

Alas, not. I feel this book lost its way in its structure and arguments. Considering the author has a background in editing, I found the whole thing lacking in clarity, and often strayed off topic. It was far too general.

This book did not live up to its potential.

[Evelyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book because I thought it might help me understand a beta on my team, as well as myself. While the book seemed interesting at first, that quickly waned; I found it difficult if not impossible to relate to what Holman described: insecurity and Imposter Syndrome to the nth degree. It made me wonder if I’m not more alpha than I think. In the end I think it could be useful someone who thinks and feels the way Holman does, but that’s not me.

[Book Grocer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Purchase Beta here for just $8!

A great book to read, not just for the quiet girls, but the loud ones, and men too. Rebecca Holman breaks down the stereotypes and what one needs to command attention and be successful. It will make you reflect on your own personality and hopefully give you some tips as well.

Elisa - The Book Grocer

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't feel like I learned much from this book, but Holman's anecdotes were really inspiring and interesting. Overall, the title seems to be at odds with a lot of the book's message: shy or introverted girls aren't MEANT to lead, but you can learn how to emulate "alpha women", Holman says, while the title says there is more than one way to be a boss. It's really not what I had in mind when I picked this up, but I don't regret reading it, either.

[Leona · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is not for me. If you enjoy a long chatty lunch with a group of girl friends complaining about female bosses, then maybe this book is for you. On page 222, Rebecca admitted it was a lament. On page 203, she labelled this read as career manual. There is a summary chapter. There are research notes but no bibliography, so you could look them up. It was a relief on page 202 to know that she now knows her triggers and motivation

[Grainne Wrigley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This caught my eye on the library shelves and I was really interested to hear another perspective on leadership. It has a lot of really thoughtful discourse on the nature of a leader and the work environment. What stood out to me is the difference between the appearance of being a good leader and actually being a good leader. I've definitely taken away a lot of ideas and its good to see someone challenging the status quo of leadership.

[Shannon Murray-Arnold · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the insights of this book, having beta aspects in my personality myself. I was able to relate a lot of what Rebecca Holman discussed about the nuances of personality types and expectations within the work place to the relationships i've observed in professional school, my own various job experiences, and the experiences of others.

[Anis Suraya · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book which is authentic & something which you can relate to, with research & interviews with industry experts. It's a light and casual book. For introverts who think 1 million times about not taking that leadership role, you might discover yourself in this book because there's more than 1 way to be a leader

[Phillip Elliott · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book, but Ms. Holman misses the mark by slanting it to woman. I think a lot of the book is applicable to introverts regardless of sex.

Maybe her Beta Woman is a female thing, but men are the same. It just doesn't seem to be a woman only trade.

If guys look at it,, your should pick it up. Just Read it as a book for introverted people and not women.

[Halli Macdonald · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book being a self-proclaimed ‘beta’ however there is not much actionable advice in this book. I
There are plenty of stories and retelling did personal experiences of other betas but not much more than that. It’s nice to feel like there are others out there with similar personality traits but I was hoping for more advise for use in the workplace

[Bizzy Day · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of interesting insights into the heart and mind of a 'Beta' manager. Rebecca's experiences really resonated with me and I identified with many of her musings - much of which have been my own at some point!

[Mikki Brelu-Brelu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book! Got me thinking about concepts an show to be more confident in my own skin. Would have liked a little more real-world, how to apply those concepts examples though to really tie it into my work atmosphere.

[Suha Abdul · Rating 4 out of 5]

On the first half, I wasn't sure about this book. But after that it gets better. Even though this is not the best book that I've read, I truly enjoy the journey. It makes me comfortable about myself—as a Beta woman (if you preferred it). Such a wholesome experience with this one.

[Jess]

2021 PopSugar Reading Challenge: A book whose title starts with "Q," "X," or "Z" (Note: the title on the publisher's website is "Quiet Girls Can Run the World OWNING YOUR POWER WHEN YOU'RE NOT THE "ALPHA" IN THE ROOM")

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good at explaining the attributes and advantages o having quiet girls on your team. Also spends time on how they work and the power they bring. Don't underestimate them, use their strengths and make your team the strongest it can be.

[Aya · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 83%.

It feels very messy, with ideas that aren’t well-grounded. Much of the information is obvious and doesn’t offer anything new. I also don’t appreciate how the book indirectly criticizes other types of women, as if trying to suggest that only one kind is ideal.