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The Veterinarian's Field Guide to Rabid Unicorns
Jurassic Park meets Lucky Charms and unicorns
Bertie’s veterinary career is in the pits. He's up to his eyeballs in debt, and his boss drives him bonkers. So when a scientist offers him a job at a Caribbean park, he takes the leap.
But no textbook can prepare him for what carnivorous unicorns. This is one scientific advancement that could very well turn tropical paradise into an island deathtrap.
Now Bertie must find a way to keep these beasts from spiraling into madness. But will he rise to the challenge? Or will it be lights out for Bertie?
The Veterinarian’s Field Guide to Rabid Unicorns is the first book in the St. Quiche Island Archives. For readers who love hapless heroes, mad mutants, and madcap villains.
Bertie’s veterinary career is in the pits. He's up to his eyeballs in debt, and his boss drives him bonkers. So when a scientist offers him a job at a Caribbean park, he takes the leap.
But no textbook can prepare him for what carnivorous unicorns. This is one scientific advancement that could very well turn tropical paradise into an island deathtrap.
Now Bertie must find a way to keep these beasts from spiraling into madness. But will he rise to the challenge? Or will it be lights out for Bertie?
The Veterinarian’s Field Guide to Rabid Unicorns is the first book in the St. Quiche Island Archives. For readers who love hapless heroes, mad mutants, and madcap villains.
339 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 24, 2018
37 people are currently reading
65 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
June 22, 2022
Here’s a fun novel inspired by a combination of Jurassic Park and ancient mythology. It’s a little bit long in getting started, probably so we understand that our hero is not the assertive type. He’s the “everyone takes advantage of me type”. He’s in a terrible job situation and gets offered a new job with a fantastic salary that involves his skills as a veterinarian, but the new employer won’t tell him what his “patients” will be or where the job is.
So, pushed to the limit, he ends up accepting the job and finds out that he is working at a “Jurassic Park” style zoo for unicorns—carnivorous unicorns whose craving for meat is out of control because the mad scientist who created them can’t accept that they are really meat eaters. He doesn’t think the kids he wants to frolic with the unicorns will like them so much if they are meat eaters. (And yes, I think we, the reader, can agree that the kids probably wouldn’t enjoy frolicking with animals who spear them on their horns and then eat them.) Our hero has to get them to accept not being meat eaters, which doesn’t look like a realistic possibility to either the hero or the reader. But it’s fun watching him try to keep a disaster from happening and watching him learn that some things are worth asserting himself for.
This book had two surprises I just didn’t see coming which is always a good thing. It’s a fun romp from beginning to end. If you’d rather read about man-eating unicorns instead of dinosaurs and laugh while you do it, I think you’ll find this a good read.
If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.
So, pushed to the limit, he ends up accepting the job and finds out that he is working at a “Jurassic Park” style zoo for unicorns—carnivorous unicorns whose craving for meat is out of control because the mad scientist who created them can’t accept that they are really meat eaters. He doesn’t think the kids he wants to frolic with the unicorns will like them so much if they are meat eaters. (And yes, I think we, the reader, can agree that the kids probably wouldn’t enjoy frolicking with animals who spear them on their horns and then eat them.) Our hero has to get them to accept not being meat eaters, which doesn’t look like a realistic possibility to either the hero or the reader. But it’s fun watching him try to keep a disaster from happening and watching him learn that some things are worth asserting himself for.
This book had two surprises I just didn’t see coming which is always a good thing. It’s a fun romp from beginning to end. If you’d rather read about man-eating unicorns instead of dinosaurs and laugh while you do it, I think you’ll find this a good read.
If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.
April 20, 2019
Fun premise about carnivorous unicorns and a mad scientist. The hero, Bertie, a vet who actually wrote a little book about unicorns, thinks of himself as a loser, and then his job--and his boss--sinks him even lower, so he decides to try for the job offer Dr. Om (not his real name) made him--because he came across the book--and takes Hessy, who really needs help too, with him. They take off to an island in the Caribbean, where it's really hot and humid and the unicorns are really hungry. The other characters on the island are interesting too, especially Saint (my favorite).
Dr. Om has great plans for his park; he also plans to change the unicorns' diet (bad idea), and he wants the park to open asap. This does not bode well for the unicorns--or tourists... Bertie and Hessy must circumvent Dr. Om's plans and smuggle meat to the unicorns. Well, it's complicated and sometimes bloody, and they have to cope with the unicorns, the security guards, Dr. Om, ... The DNA list explains a lot, btw. And there's an interesting epilogue. This is the first of the series.
Dr. Om has great plans for his park; he also plans to change the unicorns' diet (bad idea), and he wants the park to open asap. This does not bode well for the unicorns--or tourists... Bertie and Hessy must circumvent Dr. Om's plans and smuggle meat to the unicorns. Well, it's complicated and sometimes bloody, and they have to cope with the unicorns, the security guards, Dr. Om, ... The DNA list explains a lot, btw. And there's an interesting epilogue. This is the first of the series.
January 14, 2019
Oh My Giddy Aunt! This is the first book I have read by this author and I can tell you it will not be the last. I just lucked out and stumbled upon this book on Bookstrouts while looking for a book to read and wow was I ever the lucky Ducky. This book had me hooked from the very start. As an adult who has worked many jobs and understands where Bertie's head was at at Dr Roderick's vet clinic. Well we should say "Not really there" Bertie is that person who knows what he needs to do but is scared to do it. Then there is Hessy one of the Vet Techs. Let's just say she is everything that Bertie is not. Life at Dt Roderick's clinic gets out of hand and because it does it pushes these 2 into taking up Dr Om's offer. Well at least the offer he made to Bertie. And this was the start of one wild and crazy adventure. In this adventure we meet people and see places we never would imagine. Not only that our author explains unicorns in a way that makes sense. Yep, really makes sense. Oh my stars they could be out there somewhere waiting for us to simply come by and see them. OR add the right combo together in a lab.
This book is listed as a young adult book but to me it's a bit bloody and wild to be young adult. Maybe older teens, yes and adults who like Harry Potter would go for this book in a heartbeat. I am already getting ready to read the second book in this series especially since I adore dragons.
This book is listed as a young adult book but to me it's a bit bloody and wild to be young adult. Maybe older teens, yes and adults who like Harry Potter would go for this book in a heartbeat. I am already getting ready to read the second book in this series especially since I adore dragons.
October 17, 2023
A fun read
Open a theme park with genetically engineered creatures not seen on earth in eons? What can go wrong? The creatures in question are an imaginative take on one our culture's dearly held fantasies (and with a nod to Charles Stross). Slapstick action can be hard to write, but this author handles it well. The characters, except for the evil non-genius of course, are likeable. Under the silliness, the characters face the questions of what's really important to them and why they make the choices they do. Like all of us. But read it for the rabid unicorns.
Open a theme park with genetically engineered creatures not seen on earth in eons? What can go wrong? The creatures in question are an imaginative take on one our culture's dearly held fantasies (and with a nod to Charles Stross). Slapstick action can be hard to write, but this author handles it well. The characters, except for the evil non-genius of course, are likeable. Under the silliness, the characters face the questions of what's really important to them and why they make the choices they do. Like all of us. But read it for the rabid unicorns.
March 29, 2023
A fun read!
A Veterinarian's Guide.. is cleverly and freshly plotted. You'll enjoy the flight of imagination that takes you to a Caribbean island where science meets art meets fantasy. The characters aren't deep, but they are fun to get to know and the story moves swiftly as events escalate. I chose this book to escape from reality for carefree few hours, and that's exactly what I got. Looking forward to the next installment from Saint Quiche!
A Veterinarian's Guide.. is cleverly and freshly plotted. You'll enjoy the flight of imagination that takes you to a Caribbean island where science meets art meets fantasy. The characters aren't deep, but they are fun to get to know and the story moves swiftly as events escalate. I chose this book to escape from reality for carefree few hours, and that's exactly what I got. Looking forward to the next installment from Saint Quiche!
July 15, 2023
It's craziness like this that keeps me going
Insanity vs. Jurassic Park, brilliant stuff.
I saw a review that mentioned Jurassic Park, and I see why. This has been in my library for over a year before I got around to reading it. What a wasted year.
Very well written by a truly twisted imagination - absolutely zero offence meant, that is a huge compliment.
It's craziness like this that keeps me going. Thank you Elise Loyacano Perl.
Off to read your other works right now.
January 20, 2019
A bit of humor, a lot of imagination. This is Jurrasic Park meets My Little Pony (or something like that). What a great story. I love Bernie and how he lives in someone else's basement but it might as well be his mother's. This is a great story and I highly recommend it!
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
May 31, 2020
This is a tale about a get failing when he goes after a new job. He thinks it will be great until he finds out he needs to keep rabid unicorns from breaking out. Can he do it? How will he do it? Will he fail?.See if he can
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
August 1, 2019
Writing style similar to Christopher Moore. Some good humor.
I struggled to finish this. The tertiary character, Saint, is the one worth reading about. The main villain is generically, chaotically bad. The main hero is very passive and the main heroine is remarkably patient.
Not my thing, YMMV.
I struggled to finish this. The tertiary character, Saint, is the one worth reading about. The main villain is generically, chaotically bad. The main hero is very passive and the main heroine is remarkably patient.
Not my thing, YMMV.
August 14, 2022
Quirky and fun
Fun, quirky story. Not so hung up on plot twists & characters as to be confusing, or hard to keep track of. Totally out of range of what I usually read, but thoroughly enjoyable
Fun, quirky story. Not so hung up on plot twists & characters as to be confusing, or hard to keep track of. Totally out of range of what I usually read, but thoroughly enjoyable
March 18, 2023
Fun Reading
Cast your cares aside, take a break from life’s stresses, and follow Bertie on a Caribbean adventure. I laughed, I cried, I discovered that unicorn drool in rainbow colors.
Cast your cares aside, take a break from life’s stresses, and follow Bertie on a Caribbean adventure. I laughed, I cried, I discovered that unicorn drool in rainbow colors.
May 21, 2023
Fun read
As a review notes this book is a kid’s tale for Adults with a shot of rum. Was fun to read and the unicorns are priceless. I am excited to see how the series continues.
As a review notes this book is a kid’s tale for Adults with a shot of rum. Was fun to read and the unicorns are priceless. I am excited to see how the series continues.
May 10, 2018
I adore the opening lines: "I know what you're thinking. 'Unicorns can't get rabies.' Think again." To say more would give away spoilers.
Looking forward to book two.
Looking forward to book two.
November 29, 2023
This was a cute story. I liked the people and animals a lot. I thought it was a well done story and I look forward to the sequel.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews