They Like Jesus but Not the Church: Insights from Emerging Generations

by Dan Kimball

Many people today, especially among emerging generations, don’t resonate with the church and organized Christianity. Some are leaving the church and others were never part of the church in the first place. Sometimes it’s because of misperceptions about the church. Yet often they are still spiritually open and fascinated with Jesus. This is a ministry resource book exploring six of the most common objects and misunderstandings emerging generations have about the church and Christianity. The objections come from conversations and interviews the church has had with unchurched twenty and thirty-somethings at coffee houses. Each chapter raises the objection using a conversational approach, provides the biblical answers to that objection, gives examples of how churches are addressing this objection, and concludes with follow-through projection suggestions, discussion questions, and resource listings.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Church, Religion, Christianity, Theology, Faith

272 pages, Paperback

First published February 2, 2007

About the author

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/dankimball
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/dankimball
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/dankimball

Dan is the author of several books on leadership, church, and culture. He was one of the founders of Vintage Faith Church in Santa Cruz, California where he still serves on staff. He is also a faculty member at Western Seminary and leads the ReGeneration Project, which exists to equip and encourage new generations to think theologically and participate in the mission of the church. He is married to Becky and has two daughters, Katie and Claire. His passion is to see Christians follow and represent Jesus in the world with love, intelligence, and creativity.

He has a master’s degree from Western Seminary and a doctorate degree from George Fox University.

He enjoys comic art, punk and rockabilly music, big band jazz, pre-1960 gospel roots music, Ludwig drums and Zildjian cymbals, Ford Mustangs, bowling, Sun Records and 1930’s though 50’s Universal Monster Movies.

Reviews

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book can be summarized as follows: "Evangelism works a lot better if you're not an asshole about it."

Of course, Episcopalians are frightened as all get-out of the "e" word, as we call it, but at some point, we've got to deal with the Great Commission of Matthew: Go out into the world and make converts. Besides for our own diffidence, we also have to deal with the loss of the community-based aspect of church. There was a time, even in the United States, when church was where it was happening. If you were born, you went to church; got married, went to church; had babies, went to church; got old, went to church; died, went to church. And in between these signposts of life, we all went to church to support one another, to cry and rejoice together. Or at least, in theory. But it was certainly true in the Episcopal tradition; church was a community place.

Kimball points out that the church is not so much a place of community anymore. It's a place that a lot of people have learned to feel really uncomfortable. Women, told to keep their heads covered and their mouths shut; African-Americans, who, into the twentieth century, were still being told they were ordained inferior in some places (not least in my own Virginia); the poor, who even now in many churches are considered unworthy because God has not sufficiently blessed them materially; homosexuals, who often get patronizing 12-step recovery programs at best, and are told they are hell-bound at worst; and of course the many young people whose sex lives have caused them harm in one way or another, and need nurture, rather than hellfire. Oh, and let's not forget the sexual and emotional abuse clergy have been guilty of. It's not a pretty picture. The pew, in short, can easily seem like a place of hate.

To his credit, Kimball does not discount this reality. He is, however, a conservative evangelical Christian. This fact carries a lot of freight, taking foundationalist and rationalist hermeneutics with it. Consequently, Kimball takes a rationalist hermeneutic that leads him to what we would call "conservative" stances on many social issues. His task is to explain how he makes his church relevant—how he makes it even work—when it's focused on ethics that are troubling at best, and a hermeneutic more suited to Descartes or Kant than Augustine or Aquinas.

The answer appears to be that because the church is no longer the locus of community, he will move the church to the locus of where community is. This means simply being in coffee shops; in libraries; going to concerts and gatherings; having * gasp * non-Christian friends. Trust, in other words, is how one moves the wall of the church out.

With all that explained, the upshot of his book remains: Don't be an asshole. In that respect, I think we Episcopalians could do a little better. But we're doing more or less OK.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you haven’t read Dan Kimball’s latest book, They Like Jesus, but Not the Church, grab your keys and head to the nearest bookstore. It is hailed by Lee Strobel as “a powerful and passionate wake-up call for the American church.” Kimball has a message you and I need to hear.

In a matter of years, America has rapidly become a pluralistic society. There are more religions practiced in the United States than any other country in the world (Eck 2002). This has profound significance for church ministry and evangelism. Our society is no longer based primarily on a Judeo-Christian worldview. Kimball writes: “In an increasingly post-Christian culture, the influence and values shaping emerging generations are no longer aligned with Christianity. Emerging generations don’t have a basic understanding of the story of the Bible, and they don’t have one God as the predominate God to worship. Rather, they are open to all types of faiths, including new mixtures of religions” (p. 15).

Christianity is a strange and uncomfortable religion for those who have grown up watching harsh media portrayals of the church or have been exposed to a wide variety of spiritualities. There is a trend of emerging generations leaving the church. Young people, more often than not, view Christians as negative and even harmful. They like what they know of Jesus, but they don’t like the church. After spending countless hours with 20/30-somethings (usually in coffee shops), Kimball found six common perceptions emerging generations have of the church:

The church is an organized religion with a political agenda
The church is judgmental and negative
The church is dominated by males and oppresses females
The church is homophobic
The church arrogantly claims all other religions are wrong
The church is full of fundamentalists who take the whole Bible literally
While some of these perceptions are based on distorted media, many of the individuals quoted in the book have had first hand negative experiences with Christians. Kimball exhorts us to listen to their voices, and in doing so, learn how to more accurately convey Jesus to them. This means breaking out of the Christian subculture bubble. The church is often a self-enclosed world; many of us rarely have meaningful relationships with non-Christians. This, in turn, forces emerging generations to rely on media to formulate views of Christianity.

This book is not always easy to read. It is difficult to hear the negative perceptions many have of Christians. It is also challenging to examine ways we have contributed to alienating people from Jesus. Yet, Kimball does a great job of offering practical advice on how we can better respond. Read They Like Jesus but Not the Church, and let me know what you think. What would it mean for us to accurately represent Jesus to society? How can the church balance its conviction on certain issues, while conveying gentleness and respect for others? What kind of relationships do you have with people of other faiths or worldviews?

[Joseph Dalton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great testimony of the emerging generation. It's so refreshing to hear words from their own mouths received with a Christian's listening ear and open and honest heart. I am encouraged that we are not required to back down from the Truth that we hold to be most valuable and we need not run from difficult ideas or things we don't understand or questions we can't answer.

Thank you, Dan, for drawing out the Truth in Scripture showing the loving way that Jesus longs to engage with this world without fear. Perfect love drives out fear, after all (1 John 4:18), and I believe that a community practicing the love of Christ within itself and reaching out to share it with the culture in which it exists will drive out the fears keeping the emerging generation (and all generations) from the church. The love of Jesus will defeat the fear in the hearts of both the lost and the found.

This book presented a clear picture of a problem that the the church has connecting with and sharing the love of Jesus with the emerging generation. Left there it would have been depressing, but Dan Kimball does not leave a reader without hope that we CAN repair the relationship that the church has with the world. My prayer is that the hope that was communicated in this book will be the catalyst to spur us on in a life of faith to pursue loving, intentional, Jesus-centered relationships with those presently outside of the church that they may be drawn to Jesus and gladly enter His church in celebration to the glory of God!

[Thomas Freeman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable. The title sounded like this would be a liberal controversial book. Instead, I found it to only be a controversial book. His primary goal is to open the eyes of the church regarding how the western world views Christianity. He correctly points out that we live in a "post-christian" world today.

Dan Kimball definitely values the church and gathering of believers. He likes to use emergent terms like "missional", "emerging generations", "kingdom living",and last but not least "beer". However, he believes that homosexuality is a sin, that God has an ordained structure for how men and women should fit into the church, that the Bible is God inspired and should be studied literally, that Faith alone in Christ alone is the only way of salvation, and other conservative views.

I was very encouraged by the gracious and respectful manner in which he handled these topics. He provides several good balanced thoughts regarding how to better approach the world around us. I certainly don't agree with all of his conclusions but he did a great job of helping me to think through this.

I do recommend this book.

[Dottie Parish · Rating 5 out of 5]

They Like Jesus but not the Church is a must read for those who want to reach emerging generations while speaking the truth. The book is divided into three parts – Why Emerging Generations are Changing, What Emerging Generations Think About the Church, and How the Church Can Respond.

I was especially helped by an illustration of syncretism in our culture he observed in a TV sitcom. Kimball emphasizes the need to form friendships first, listen to what others believe, understand what attracts them to their “faith,” and be respectful. We know this, but don’t always practice it. Only when we do these things should we attempt to explain the Christian faith.

Kimball has interesting visuals in his book—a historical map of when each faith began, and pictures of three different mountains to God showing why all roads don’t lead to God. He says various faiths have similar teachings at the base of the mountain, but they each climb a different mountain leading to a different God.

This is an excellent book!

[Tom Bazan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book has three parts: (1) "Why Emerging Generations are Changing;" (2) "What Emerging Generations Think About the Church;" and (3) "How the Church Can Respond."

He makes some good points about the changing culture. One of the premises of the book is that we live in a "post-Christian" culture. Although it might have been safe to assume that everyone--regardless of whether a person was a Christian, went to church, or had ever been to church--knew the basic ideas of Christianity, sin, etc., that is no longer the case. We are now foreigners in our culture. And, there are a lot of (mis)perceptions about Christianity in that culture. He points out that many (if not most) of those perceptions are based on few interactions, few relationships. Rather, they are based on something larger and more abstract, maybe television commentators or movie characters. Regardless, Christianity is becoming less and less mainstream. And, he argues, Christians are doing little to stop this. The "Christian bubble" essentially takes people from society and puts them into a subculture that wants nothing to do with the larger culture. Instead, he argues, the Church needs to go out and be a part of the greater culture. Bring the Gospel to people, rather than expecting the culture to come to church.

As a means of how churches can do this, he gives six negative things that "emerging generations" (people in their teens and twenties, mainly) think about the church. He claims that the people he interviewed for the book (upon which the six things are based) "like" Jesus but don't really like the church. He says that if the Church (or churches) could work on some of these things, then it might be more attractive to people outside of it. He says--later in the book--that the Christian subculture is a stumbling block (just like the cross is a stumbling block) to people even hearing the Gospel message. Yes, sin is a stumbling block; but the perception of Christianity is preventing people from hearing about sin, he argues.

The six negatives are:
(1) The church is an "organized religion" with a political agenda
(2) The church is judgmental and negative
(3) The church is dominated by males and oppresses females
(4) The church is homophobic
(5) The church arrogantly claims all other religions are wrong
(6) The church is full of fundamentalists who take the whole Bible literally

Kimball, in response to these claims, tries to say that the Church should hold to what it believes--to hold to fundamentals (and other beliefs)--but might want to consider changing the way it projects those beliefs. The way that churches come across to visitors and outsiders could change some of these perceptions, he argues (even though the perceptions are mostly based on few--or no--interactions with Christians). In his defense, most of the suggestions that Kimball makes are good ones. Churches should watch how they are perceived, if for no other reason than because some of those perceptions might be true. Now he does say that churches should not change what they do based on what people outside of the church wish a church would be--and that needs to be echoed, because if they Church does not have something different, it is going to blend in and be irrelevant--but that doesn't mean that there is nothing that churches can do.

The biggest point I got from the book is similar to the purpose of Hybels' Just Walk Across the Room (and I know I'm using quite a few references to his books, even though I've only read two). Kimball was able to change some people's perceptions of the church because he interacted with them--built relationships with them. That is what I get from the book. We need to not stay inside our "holy huddle." Get outside of the building--the church is the people. And, the Church needs to train people for that purpose. Give people opportunities to learn, lead, and build each other up. That type of community will be something that people will go out and invite people to. And people will be attracted to it.

The book, he notes at the end, is not about getting better music or preaching or programs, but about having (and developing) a missional heart. We are all missionaries. A missionary doesn't just go into a foreign culture and not adapt to the local languages, practices, etc. Why, then, do we expect that we can be foreigners here and still be useful? That, I think, is his point.

Kimball's I Like Jesus But Not the Church (a pro-church book) is the companion to They Like Jesus . . ., but with answers to many of the questions he raises here. It is a book for those grappling from outside the church.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though this was made years ago, it feels relevant today. How much benefit to the Kingdom of we were to connect and create relationships with one another.

[Remi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book, though I think I'd enjoy I Like Jesus But Not The Church because that book is directed towards people like myself whereas this book is directed towards church leaders trying to coax people like myself back to the church. My only critique of this book was when it came down to views of controversial topics such as women's roles in the church and whether or not you believe homosexuality is a sin. The author was basically telling church leaders, "Yes they're all going to hell for not living their lives like us, but say it in a nicer way." It really bothered me. I have no right to demand he change his mind but he can't expect LGBT people or modern women to want to convert to Christianity or return to the church if they're being told they're second-class citizens with a smile. I will say that my favorite chapters were What They Wish The Church Were Like and A Great Hope For The Future but I can admit that it was only because I agreed with him. I will definitely be purchasing the companion book to this one to see how he addresses people who are Christians but do not attend church. A good read.

[Kevin Rogerson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay... I bought this a while ago because it looked interesting enough to get me to pull it off the shelf. I just started reading it yesterday and today I am finished. I kid you not when I say this book was so very interesting that I could not barely put it down. I was intrigued by the topics that Dan brings up and how I too shared some of those same beliefs or feelings about the church today. Don't get me wrong I am pro-church without a doubt. However, at times I do struggle with these issues and wonder if the church we represent today was the church Jesus intended. The issues in this book are some things I definitely feel need to be addressed in the world today. If we are the church and are to reach lost souls we need to reevaluate what "we" think is important and focus on Jesus and what was important to him.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

While a lot of the material in this book is repeated, and then repeated again, this book was an eye opener. With a clear and engaging writing style, the author shows the reader how the new generation views the church and where many churches are going wrong in their evangelism attempts. An important book! Unfortunately, the less formal writing style might have many in the books target demographic overlook it as a serious reference.

[Rick Robie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are serious about reaching people for Christ, then you need to do your homework and start with this book. The author has done a lot of work to paint the drastic picture of what this generation really thinks what the church is like. Excellent interviews and some great information, with which we need to arm ourselves and really befriend non Christians for Jesus.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another terrific book that nails it when it comes to reaching postmods and the next gen with the good news of Christ. Kimball has a way of talking plain about the need and the urgency of doing ministry differently without becoming critical of current methods.

[Rick · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that unsettles you because it hits close to home. Very thought provoking and challenging. Plus living overseas it was a good glimpse into North American culture - especially US culture.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written. Provacative and thoughtful. You won't agree with every page, but ought to read it anyway. I've recommended it to at least 2 people.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

every Christian should read this. great insight into those who don't go to church (40-50% of Americans!)

[Andre · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for all those who are concerned about moving the good news of the Gospel of Christ to the unbelieving generations. Very thought provoking.

[Carole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I think this particular book was geared toward pastors, but I think every Christian would benefit from reading this.

[Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a life changer.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

FANTASTIC and undeniably important - A MUST READ!

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very insightful book for me. My District Youth Director sent it to me a couple of years ago. But, I have not finished reading it yet.

[A. J. Land · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic...great conversation about talking to people who may be interested in God but not interested in church. loved it.

[Daryl Watts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan Kimball does a fantastic job of keeping it simple, yet challenging. See my full review at http://cybertsunami.typepad.com

[Ron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Teaching a class on the emerging generation and this book was a great resource.

[Kevin Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was a really good group study

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. I thought it offered great insight into what the people outside the church think and believe about the body of Christ, better known as the church.

[Bambang Widyanarko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome good

[Colin Weeks · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read for a class in 4th year of a Bachelor of Biblical Studies.

Dan Kimball, a pastor based out of Santa Cruz, California, writes a desperate plea to American Church leaders in They Like Jesus but Not the Church. Published in 2007, Kimball desires that Christians would “awaken to the fact that most people in our emerging culture are not listening to us anymore.” He wants Christians to reflect on the reputation the Church currently has among the unbelieving world and learn from it.

The author writes in a kitschy, pop-funk style—something that is further emphasized by the formatting of the book (ink splashes and edgy artwork on each page), and the black leather jacket and pompadour haircut rocked by Kimball himself. While there is a time and place for this style of delivery, I think it diminished Kimball’s impact; the hyper-informal, anecdotal writing style only makes him harder to take seriously, especially as an older man.

This book was at the centre of the early 2000’s “Emergent Church” movement, which Google defines as, “a Christian movement…characterized by its attempt to engage with postmodern culture, often challenging traditional Christian understandings of faith and practice. It’ sometimes called a ‘conversation’ to emphasize its developing and decentralized nature.” This description accurately fits the themes undergirding Kimball’s book.

I would like to give Dan Kimball some credit. He has a clear and passionate heart for evangelism and the lost. The whole book is saturated with a heart cry that wants to see non-Christians experience the warmth of a life with Christ. Kimball does a great job at identifying problems in the Church, many of which I agreed with. He criticized the tendency Christians have to retreat from the world and form their own echo-chambers. He also lamented how many stories he has heard from non-believers about the arrogance and judgement they experienced at the hands of Christians. I stand with Kimball in disapproval of these things, however the solutions he proposed were disappointing.

One of the challenges in discerning a person is that their actions and words do not always line up. Kimball wrote carefully to keep his conservative readers from erupting, but his arguments and proposals exposed a very liberal lean. One of the major mistakes Kimball makes in this book is sometimes called the “Sin of Pragmatism,” where practicality becomes the highest virtue by which Christians makes their decisions. While he routinely defended that Scripture must be our guide, the central premise of his book was to rethink how the Church conducts herself based on what works. Pragmatism can certainly be a good thing, but it cannot be the first thing. To give a few examples, Kimball explains how his church is fighting against establishing any perceived organizational hierarchy in leadership because that can be off-putting for people. He also praises another church that setup couches and comfortable chairs in their sanctuary so that the worship gathering feels more like a family room. The third section of the book was a series of interviews about what non-Christians wished church was. Sadly, Kimball’s ideal worship service seemed to be more focused on evangelism rather than equipping the saints. Despite the author restating numerous times that we should not change to suit the world’s preferences, the main flow of the book is almost entirely focused on what non-Christians think. Someone can tell you they do not care about others' opinions, but if they are constantly talking about what other people are saying, maybe they do.

The most disappointing section of this book was the chapter on women in the Church. Kimball says, “I’m not going to try to resolve this issue by defending either the egalitarian or the complementation viewpoint. I’m not going to try to convince you to change your viewpoint.” He then spends the rest of the chapter arguing that women either need to be in positions of pastoral leadership, or if not, they need to be in the highest levels of leadership possible so that “emerging generations won’t have as big of an issue with all male elders and pastors.” Again, pragmatism. Kimball straw-manned conservatives, only engaging with people that could not defend their positions well and he insisted that the usual justification against women in leadership is “based more on church subculture than on Scripture.” He also demonstrated a superficial, truncated understanding of feminism, suggesting that he has “yet to hear any female [make this debate] a feminist issue.” On this subject, frankly, Kimball seemed intellectually lazy and unhelpful.

This book is written by a man who, no doubt, loves Jesus and wants to see change. However, I believe he is more influenced by his Californian neighbours than he might realize. I would not recommend this book to others.

[Fred · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard book.
It was hard to hear.
It was challenging.
It made me squirm.
And made me uncomfortable.
It provoked me to think more deeply.
It challenged me to care more freely.
It stretched me.
And I loved it.

I know it's a tired cliche but, really, this is a book that I really think that all mature, established, Western Christians should listen to. This book challenges the modern Evangelical Church in general and the American Evangelical Church in particular. And Lord knows we need it!

Christian Psychologist Henry Cloud has a great saying, "Be curious, not condemning." And in a nutshell that is this book. The author clearly adheres to biblical orthodoxy and authority - and challenges the reader to do the same - but still drives that point home again, again, again, and again. Chapter after chapter after chapter.

Or, as another reviewer said so well (using language more 'colorful' than I'm comfortable with), "The central message of this book is, 'don't be a jerk'." And friends, all too often, the Evangelical Church is the biggest jerk in the neighborhood that it's supposed to love and reach with the Gospel, isn't it?

To that point, my mentor, and greatest influence, Francis Schaeffer, used to get on his soapbox and rail against what he called, "The Christian Ghetto Mentality" back in the day in which he correctly saw that the Evangelical Church was so inwardly focused and piety-driven that was becoming more and more culturally irrelevant. The net result is that we have retreated from the world rather than reach it with the gospel and disciple it - as we were missioned to do by the Master in His parting words. So, thanks to Dr. Schaeffer, I've never wondered why and how that is, but I've often wondered about how to fix it. Unfortunately, and in my opinion, Dr. Schaeffer didn't live long enough to finish what he had begun.

Well, what Dr. Schaeffer started Dan Kimball finishes in this great book: He gives us the blueprint for breaking out of the Christian Ghetto Mentality and leavening God's world with the gospel so that in the end, "The earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea." (Habakkuk 2:14 NKJV)

No, it won't be easy. But, yes, it will be worth it. This book tells us how.

Get it.
Struggle with it.
Let it unsettle you.
Cringe again, again, and again through it.
And join us out here past the Church Ghetto walls.

But don't be a jerk!
Jesus wasn't.
And they like Jesus.
But, right now, they don't like us.

So let's change that, shall we?

[Chesli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was the second book that I've read for my weekly church group/support group meeting. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy or get as much out of this book compared to the last Dan Kimball book we read. I will note that this book was directed more at church leaders and people in leadership positions, so I wasn't/we weren't the target audience; however, I was still hoping for something more substantial directed towards people in positions of power. (There was a different book we wanted to read but weren't able to get it so we defaulted to the closest thing.)

Overall, the book boils down to: show respect to others, keep an open dialogue, and be open to understanding and apologizing for things the church and members of the church have done. Kimball pushes for church leaders to get out and leave the church bubble to better understand emerging generations and why people have lost their truth in the church. This is a good thing, but I wish I got to see more of the struggle when Kimball showed scenes of him talking to other people. It seemed like most everyone was easy to talk to and didn't have any difficult paths of logic or questioning or trauma which would provide a barrier towards visiting a church. I wish there had been a bit more variety so that I could see myself or my friends/family members and better understand why we think what we think from an outside perspective so to speak.

Unfortunately, this book wasn't quite for me and didn't really provide me with anything new or novel to reflect on that I hadn't already been aware of... I might look at some of the suggested readings but that might be it for future reflections.

Rating: 2.5/5 rounded up to 3

[Les Wolf · Rating 4 out of 5]

They Like Jesus but Not the Church is a thought-provoking exploration of the perceptions and attitudes of emerging generations toward the Christian church.
The author, a pastor himself, discusses six major objections obtained through extensive interviews. Kimball discusses how Christians may come across as callous and repugnant with regard to the beliefs and opinions of those outside of the faith.
Kimball offers suggestions and provides examples from his own efforts to help Christians find ways to connect to people of varying backgrounds, lifestyles and beliefs.
This book is worth reading and designed to be used in real world situations.