What kind of fucking assigned reading
Edit:
TW/ very brief mention of SH
I decided that I couldn’t in good conscience leave my review for a book THIS bad as a one-liner, so here goes nothing.
This is one of the hardest reads I’ve ever had to get through. This book genuinely does not deserve its reviews for a moment, nor does it deserve to be mandatory reading in a grade 11 class. Why create an entire curriculum dedicated to dismantling Indigenous stereotypes, just to force students to read terrible books that do nothing but perpetuate them? Especially when it barely even delves into the intergenerational trauma and circumstances that caused these behaviours. And I say “caused” instead of “may have caused” because his mother literally tells him randomly that her mom was traumatized due to a residential school and it was a partial reason she was kicked out as a teenager. This alone is something worth going into detail about, but it’s literally mentioned in passing. This is just one of many examples where this book is an unfocused mess.
According to the synopsis, the plot of this book is supposed to be that Jared, a 16 year old drug dealer, finds out he’s the son of the Trickster. Except, you wouldn’t really get this impression after reading the first half. Sure, there are elements of fantasy here and there, but really it’s 60% some teenager doing (What are supposed to be) regular teenager things, and 40% “Apparently I’m magic?” and even then, Jared spends half this time doubting the fact that he’s magic. This would make perfect sense if the two blended properly, but I really can’t say they did. They’re really poorly intertwined and half the time, I forgot what book I was supposed to be reading. Half the characters aren’t even necessary, either; they literally serve as plot armour. More on that later, though. It really just reads to me like two completely separate books, and neither one of them are executed well.
In fact, this book does nothing well. It doesn’t have a single round character, no cohesive plot, no interesting ideas; nothing. Not only is it terribly boring, but it’s completely inappropriate for no reason.
First of all, every single character boils down to, at most, three personality traits. In fact, the book’s blurb literally starts out with the phrase “Everyone knows a guy like Jared.” Of course, as an author, you want your reader to feel a connection to the material. However, this book does it in the blandest, most generic way possible. Jared is a 16 year old pothead who pays for his dad’s rent. He’s mouthy, sarcastic, sympathetic (I guess?) and that’s about it. There’s nothing more to the protagonist of this book. His mom, a supporting character, is a junkie who loves her son. Then halfway through, she disappears. Then she randomly comes back conveniently when Jared is about to go live with his grandmother, but she’s now always on hard drugs. Then she plucks out all her eyebrows during a bad trip. Then suddenly she just decides to stop doing hard drugs. Magic. Because that’s how addiction works. Her mom’s boyfriend is an abusive addict. There’s not much more to him and he doesn’t really do anything. He’s just there all the time yet the story could have gone on without him. Then there’s some kid who goes by Crashpad. He’s a nerd and serves no purpose besides being some guy Jared is magically allowed to stay with when his mom disappears. He is literally plot armour in character form. There’s some girl Sarah he likes. She’s a manic pixie dream girl archetype who isn’t written believably whatsoever. She’s written to be an activist who cares a lot about the state of the world but is dating some guy who doesn’t know the difference between being trans or bi, and her response to this is somehow “You’re so not getting laid tonight.” Apparently this is believable. And don’t forget the fact that she talks about not abiding by gender norms and then literally tells Jared to learn to “speak girl.” The dialogue between characters is just incredibly unbelievable throughout the whole book and this is demonstrated even further in the terrible texting conversations. Apparently our author thinks teenagers text like:
U mad?
R u?
Missed u this weekend.
Family drama. Nothing 2 do wit u.
Whatz wit da radio silence then?
In the rez. No cell towers.
Ah. R u wit Crashpad?
On bus on way 2 skool.
Wanna hang @ lunch?
Kk.
Another line I think displays how bizarre these texts are:
U no wut I think re monogamy.
Ah, yes. Because people are lazy enough to abbreviate every single goddamn word to the point that it’s practically unreadable, but simultaneously go the extra mile to punctuate every line of text. At least be consistent. The icing on the cake is that EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER BESIDES HIS GRANDMOTHER TEXTS LIKE THIS. It makes no sense and goes to show how little understanding our author has for the characters they’re writing. Nobody even texts like that. Nobody.
Additionally, it’s incredibly vulgar for no reason. Every other line, especially at the beginning of the book, just has to incorporate some sort of profanity for no reason. It’s so senseless and annoying. And not to mention the sex in this book. It’s WEIRD to not FADE TO BLACK when writing about SEX WITH MINORS. This is especially true because it has nothing to really do with the plot. Yes, teenagers have sex. But you don’t need to write about it like it’s Wattpad fan-fiction.
“She unzipped his jeans with her teeth, holding his eyes with hers. [..] Her tongue, soft, warm, and wet, her tongue, her teeth, the slippery perfection of her mouth. He sighed. She held his hips, her fingers, she, she, the tip of her tongue, the soft underside of his cock, his wrists. […] He laughed as his erection became painful, thumped like a hopeful dog’s tail, and then moaned as she lowered her mouth.”
16 year olds, by the way. In case you forgot. I wouldn’t blame you if you did, because what? Not only is it just creepy, but it is written inexcusably horribly. Thumped like a hopeful dog’s tail? What?? Oh, and he almost has sex with his step-sister. And then it’s never referred back to. On top of being wildly inappropriate, there’s literally a scene where Sarah cuts herself in front of him after sex. Like she just pulls out an X-acto knife and just cuts herself. Jared goes:
“As long as she didn’t cut him, he was fine with it. Well. Maybe not fine. Maybe weirded out. She got lost in the cutting and he became a piece of furniture, something she sat on.”
So basically, the reader is supposed to believe Jared is in love with Sarah and is also very sympathetic because he literally pays rent for his addict father, but somehow, when the girl she loves literally starts self-harming ON TOP OF HIM, his thought is “Damn shawty u weird ass he’ll.” and that’s the end of it? Sure… If that isn’t weird enough, the book is 30% people clearly struggling with substance abuse, except it isn’t written as a struggle; it’s just a coping mechanism. As I said prior, his mom does meth and after plucking all her eyebrows out, she just decides to stick to “good old fashioned weed and cocaine.” Jared craves alcohol when he’s sad. Sarah does shrooms. Jared and his friends smoke loads of weed. His friend drinks heavily after a breakup and is always showing up to his house shit-faced. This book clearly wants to be relatable to teenagers who struggle with or have family members who struggle with substance abuse, but simultaneously doesn’t display any of the struggles that come with it. The worst thing to happen as a result of drugs is literally his mom pulling her eyebrows out. His mom is also abusive, but it’s never implied that this is because of her addiction. It’s just such a weird thing to incorporate, because if you’re going to tackle serious issues in your book, then, I don’t know, tackle them? Don’t just put them out there for a second and then take them out whenever it’s convenient. To have a book that literally normalizes drugs throughout practically its entirety in a SCHOOL CURRICULUM is insane. I’m not opposed to having books about drugs in the curriculum; Lullabies for Little Criminals is one of my favourite books. The difference between these two books, though, is that Lullabies actually showcases the negatives of drug addiction because it’s not just something you can brush off? That should go without saying.
Another problem I have with this book is that, on top of all this, it’s just written plain bad. The timeline, especially at the beginning, is extremely confusing. It jumps between present day and flashbacks with no warnings at all. The writing is so convenient. He drunkenly tells some kid to stop bullying Crashpad and suddenly he’s allowed to just sleep at his house for days, and the character serves no other purpose. His mom magically shows up right before he’s about to move out. It’s just so lazy. And then there’s just plain bad lines, like the “hopeful dog’s tail” line I mentioned earlier, or “His heart was a bruise because Baby’s heart was full of worms.” It’s such a turn-off when a book has lines as cheesy as those. Jared’s mom even calls her own mom a cuntosaurus and more explicit variations of the r-slur on multiple occasions. These are just a few examples of the writing being utter garbage, but I don’t have the energy to turn through more pages to fund more instances, although there are many.
Coming back to the beginning of this book after fully reading it is so strange because lots of the people mentioned are hardly ever referred back to, like his friends Kelsey and Blake, that are apparently really close to him and have been his friends for years. The only reason I can think to do this is to display development, but what goddamn development? Jared doesn’t change. He’s the same throughout the book. On top of this, there are so many loose-ends that it just makes no sense. I suppose this is justified because it’s a trilogy, but as you may or may not be able to tell yet, I have zero goddamn interest in reading the next book, which makes this feel like an even bigger waste of time. I just have nothing good to say about this book.
You can’t write a book with two plots and not do either of them justice. Jared and everyone showing serious signs of addiction is basically half the book, yet is never really addressed and has nothing to do with the fantasy arc, besides Jared being really high and assuming this is why birds are talking to him. Fucking hell. This review doesn’t even get into all the problems I have with this book. I didn’t even touch on the fantasy aspect. I just don’t even have the energy anymore. This review is way longer than this book deserves. I just don’t see enough people talking about how AWFUL it is.