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Treating People Well: How to Master Social Skills and Thrive in Everything You Do
Two White House Social Secretaries offer “an essential guide for getting along and getting ahead in our world today…by treating others with civility and respect. Full of life lessons that are both timely and timeless, this is a book that will be devoured, bookmarked, and read over and over again” (John McCain, United States Senator).
Former White House social secretaries Lea Berman, who worked for Laura and George Bush, and Jeremy Bernard, who worked for Michelle and Barack Obama, have learned valuable lessons about how to work with people from different walks of life. In Treating People Well , they share tips and advice from their own moments with celebrities, foreign leaders, and that most unpredictable of animals—the American politician.
Valuable “guidance for finding success in both personal and professional relationships and navigating social settings with grace” ( BookPage ), this is not a book about old school etiquette. Berman and Bernard explain the things we all want to know, like how to walk into a roomful of strangers and make friends, what to do about a colleague who makes you dread work each day, and how to navigate the sometimes-treacherous waters of social media.
Weaving “practical guidance into entertaining behind-the-scenes moments…their unique and rewarding insider’s view” ( Publishers Weekly ) provides tantalizing insights into the character of the first ladies and presidents they served, proving that social skills are learned behavior that anyone can acquire. Ultimately, “this warm and gracious little book treats readers well, entertaining them with stories of close calls, ruffled feathers, and comic misunderstandings as the White House each day attempts to carry through its social life” ( The Wall Street Journal ).
Former White House social secretaries Lea Berman, who worked for Laura and George Bush, and Jeremy Bernard, who worked for Michelle and Barack Obama, have learned valuable lessons about how to work with people from different walks of life. In Treating People Well , they share tips and advice from their own moments with celebrities, foreign leaders, and that most unpredictable of animals—the American politician.
Valuable “guidance for finding success in both personal and professional relationships and navigating social settings with grace” ( BookPage ), this is not a book about old school etiquette. Berman and Bernard explain the things we all want to know, like how to walk into a roomful of strangers and make friends, what to do about a colleague who makes you dread work each day, and how to navigate the sometimes-treacherous waters of social media.
Weaving “practical guidance into entertaining behind-the-scenes moments…their unique and rewarding insider’s view” ( Publishers Weekly ) provides tantalizing insights into the character of the first ladies and presidents they served, proving that social skills are learned behavior that anyone can acquire. Ultimately, “this warm and gracious little book treats readers well, entertaining them with stories of close calls, ruffled feathers, and comic misunderstandings as the White House each day attempts to carry through its social life” ( The Wall Street Journal ).
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 9, 2018
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February 13, 2018
Treating People Well is bland and not particularly useful, but it isn't unpleasant. That's... about the strongest praise I can give it.
I guess I was unclear about the purpose of the book going in. I thought it would be similar to How to Win Friends and Influence People, but more modern. I thought it would have concise ways to be a better person in the internet age. I thought it would also have advice on being more social and throwing the kinds of events the authors did as White House Social Secretaries. And... I guess it sort of approximates those ideas, but in mishmash where the different parts don't stand out from each other.
In the book, the authors explain that they've determined that there are something like twelve different elements of treating people well. Then each chapter investigates those elements. Except for each chapter, the authors also determine that there are three to five important sub-elements of that element. And then there are sub-elements to those sub-elements. I got lost in the vast quantity of topics. Then, even more frustratingly, the topics are really not all that useful. Some of them are really, really obvious, along the lines of "think before you make big decisions" and "try not to lose your temper." The topics can also be really difficult to implement in your life. Early in the book, they talk about having confidence, but not too much confidence that you're cocky. How can you work on getting more confidence? How can you avoid being too cocky? These are tough questions, but it feels like the authors don't really attempt to answer them, nor offer practical tips on how to figure out the answers yourself.
Along with the "tips," the authors tell some stories about their careers working in the White House. These were probably some of the best parts of the book, but I would have preferred less but longer stories with more detail. It's really cool to hear about how the White House functions, but I wanted more of it. And some of the stories wandered into some really vague territory, where the experience wasn't really all that special or clear, which made me think "why am I reading a book by these people?"
One thing really irritated me about their stories, though: there's the sense that the White House is just such a special place that if people don't love it or get annoyed by it, they are these super shitty people. For example, the White House tries to book some really big acts, but they don't have any money to pay these acts and the White House itself isn't exactly a great performing space. Still, a number of the author stories have to do with artists asking for this "crazy" stuff, like special privileges and venue improvements (the author's don't go into too much detail here), and the authors are like "what jerks! They should just be honored to be at the White House!" But, to me, it just felt like the White House people felt entitled to all these special privileges themselves. Another area this popped in was unsatisfactory guests. Many times, the authors complained about guests who were annoyed or distracted when at the White House. These people should feel so special just to be at the White House, right?! Again, I felt like the authors should have come down off of their high horses.
Despite my gripes, though, I found the general message about trying to be nice to people to shine through. The authors themselves come across as super nice. It makes me feel kind of bad writing this mostly negative review (but I'm trying to be honest!). As I read, I genuinely liked the people I was reading about, which is kind of a rare experience.
But I wouldn't recommend this book. I think it's mostly fluff, without useful information or particularly engaging stories.
I guess I was unclear about the purpose of the book going in. I thought it would be similar to How to Win Friends and Influence People, but more modern. I thought it would have concise ways to be a better person in the internet age. I thought it would also have advice on being more social and throwing the kinds of events the authors did as White House Social Secretaries. And... I guess it sort of approximates those ideas, but in mishmash where the different parts don't stand out from each other.
In the book, the authors explain that they've determined that there are something like twelve different elements of treating people well. Then each chapter investigates those elements. Except for each chapter, the authors also determine that there are three to five important sub-elements of that element. And then there are sub-elements to those sub-elements. I got lost in the vast quantity of topics. Then, even more frustratingly, the topics are really not all that useful. Some of them are really, really obvious, along the lines of "think before you make big decisions" and "try not to lose your temper." The topics can also be really difficult to implement in your life. Early in the book, they talk about having confidence, but not too much confidence that you're cocky. How can you work on getting more confidence? How can you avoid being too cocky? These are tough questions, but it feels like the authors don't really attempt to answer them, nor offer practical tips on how to figure out the answers yourself.
Along with the "tips," the authors tell some stories about their careers working in the White House. These were probably some of the best parts of the book, but I would have preferred less but longer stories with more detail. It's really cool to hear about how the White House functions, but I wanted more of it. And some of the stories wandered into some really vague territory, where the experience wasn't really all that special or clear, which made me think "why am I reading a book by these people?"
One thing really irritated me about their stories, though: there's the sense that the White House is just such a special place that if people don't love it or get annoyed by it, they are these super shitty people. For example, the White House tries to book some really big acts, but they don't have any money to pay these acts and the White House itself isn't exactly a great performing space. Still, a number of the author stories have to do with artists asking for this "crazy" stuff, like special privileges and venue improvements (the author's don't go into too much detail here), and the authors are like "what jerks! They should just be honored to be at the White House!" But, to me, it just felt like the White House people felt entitled to all these special privileges themselves. Another area this popped in was unsatisfactory guests. Many times, the authors complained about guests who were annoyed or distracted when at the White House. These people should feel so special just to be at the White House, right?! Again, I felt like the authors should have come down off of their high horses.
Despite my gripes, though, I found the general message about trying to be nice to people to shine through. The authors themselves come across as super nice. It makes me feel kind of bad writing this mostly negative review (but I'm trying to be honest!). As I read, I genuinely liked the people I was reading about, which is kind of a rare experience.
But I wouldn't recommend this book. I think it's mostly fluff, without useful information or particularly engaging stories.
December 17, 2018
The basic of civility. This book should be required reading on how to treat others.
December 20, 2017
I was lucky enough to read an advance copy of this book, and it is one of my favorites of the year - I think it is going to be a true shining star of 2018. Part nonfiction - stories of Berman and Bernard's time at the White House, as well as other morsels of interesting presidential history - part self-help - the book is divided into fluidly written chapters that each instruct delicately on the art of being a kind person - and part must-read for everyone - and, seriously, EVERYONE in this world needs to read this book - it's a kind of guide of how to navigate the challenges of our harsh world with grace under pressure. I cannot recommend this enough; I know that I'll be referencing it time and again in my own life.
April 7, 2018
This book was not what I expected. It was more about how people made 'things' work while they were employed at the White House. It was like "See. Crisis averted because we used common sense." While I found the first few stories okay, it became monotonous real quick. I'm all for celebrating the little things in life that are special, but this covered so much minutia and felt too long. I'm thinking pamphlet....not book.
October 29, 2017
This is an interesting "how-to" guide to manners, a collaboration between two former White House Social Secretaries. I found it to be a balanced mix of suggestions and anecdotes.
While the focus is primarily professional, many of the pointers translate well to personal life, too.
Many of the chapter titles would seem to be just good common courtesy and common sense, but sadly those things are often lacking in today's world, even in a professional setting. Topics covered include the importance of confidence, consistency, calmness, listening, conflict resolution, taking responsibility for mistakes, and an eye for detail.
After reading this book, one gets the sense that very few jobs are as high-pressure as that of White House social secretary. Not only are there the high-stakes events to plan, there are the endless variety of personalities to welcome and work with. The authors do a good job of showing why it is so important to always handle people with respect and civility, and how it very often smooths the way to decent future relationships.
These are some vital workplace principles (and indeed, life skills). In this book, they are broken down into many manageable components and helpful examples.
*** I received an advance digital copy of this via NetGalley. Goes on sale January 2018.
While the focus is primarily professional, many of the pointers translate well to personal life, too.
Many of the chapter titles would seem to be just good common courtesy and common sense, but sadly those things are often lacking in today's world, even in a professional setting. Topics covered include the importance of confidence, consistency, calmness, listening, conflict resolution, taking responsibility for mistakes, and an eye for detail.
After reading this book, one gets the sense that very few jobs are as high-pressure as that of White House social secretary. Not only are there the high-stakes events to plan, there are the endless variety of personalities to welcome and work with. The authors do a good job of showing why it is so important to always handle people with respect and civility, and how it very often smooths the way to decent future relationships.
These are some vital workplace principles (and indeed, life skills). In this book, they are broken down into many manageable components and helpful examples.
*** I received an advance digital copy of this via NetGalley. Goes on sale January 2018.
May 7, 2018
Social secretaries plan all kinds of events, from state dinners and the Easter egg roll to Congressional picnics and private lunches. The authors speak from their own experience about how it's done while dispensing advice on, as the title suggests, treating people well.
Berman and Bernard talk about their time at the White House under presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, respectively. The tips they give aren't groundbreaking (begin with confidence, be consistent, listen first and talk later) but they're things we should all be reminded of. I learned some new things, too, like good ways to start a thank you note. (Hint: it's not "Thank you for...")
What I enjoyed most were the anecdotes about working in the White House. Both authors have a glowing admiration for the presidents and first ladies they served and it shows.There are tales of near disaster, like Berman who, when an interpreter refused to move to their proper seat, tipped them out of their chair (!).
Fitting presidential quotes round things out. I listened to Treating People Well on audio and like that the authors narrate their own stories and experiences. A third narrator covers the introduction and interstitial text.
While I wouldn't say it's an authoritative volume about being your best at work nor the best White House memoir, it is an enjoyable combination of the two.
Berman and Bernard talk about their time at the White House under presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, respectively. The tips they give aren't groundbreaking (begin with confidence, be consistent, listen first and talk later) but they're things we should all be reminded of. I learned some new things, too, like good ways to start a thank you note. (Hint: it's not "Thank you for...")
What I enjoyed most were the anecdotes about working in the White House. Both authors have a glowing admiration for the presidents and first ladies they served and it shows.There are tales of near disaster, like Berman who, when an interpreter refused to move to their proper seat, tipped them out of their chair (!).
Fitting presidential quotes round things out. I listened to Treating People Well on audio and like that the authors narrate their own stories and experiences. A third narrator covers the introduction and interstitial text.
While I wouldn't say it's an authoritative volume about being your best at work nor the best White House memoir, it is an enjoyable combination of the two.
May 14, 2018
I expected much more from this book. Overall, the examples and advice from two social secretaries of the last two administrations did not have significant impact on me nor had in depth analysis of events', actions, etc. The idea behind the book was great, but the execution was average, perhaps because it was written in haste? Some of the examples, especially from Lea Berman, reminded me of the examples one gives during the job interview to support their statements about mistakes and accomplishments at their prior place of employment.
March 26, 2018
Some useful stuff, but I was hoping for more. I found there were too many examples used that, while good stories, being specific to White House social functions, etc., made them impractical for a “normal” person like me to apply in my workplace. E.g., I’ve never had the weight of the POTUS behind me in my interactions with business contacts, etc.) Another problem I thought of while reading is that those people who would benefit the most (I.e. those who DON’T treat people well) from reading a book like this would never bother to read it.
February 15, 2018
Entertaining and educational! This book should be required reading for all College students. So much great advice on dealing with difficult people, conflict resolution, and modern day etiquette which seems to be a lost art. I highly recommend this book!
April 1, 2018
An easy book to read if you’re in need of a little positive energy. I like that the authors emphasized the points they were trying to make by sharing stories from their time in the White House.
August 9, 2019
"You can respect and honor another's perspective without subscribing to it. That's the essence of civility."
This book is a little different from what I would normally pick up, but after hearing a couple of friends recommend it, I decided to read it myself. Written by former White House social secretaries to George W. Bush and Barack Obama, this book is a sort of primer on "soft skills" that are essential to success in any field. The authors focused on twelve elements of treating people well. While these "tips" weren't groundbreaking (be consistent, listen before you speak, emanate self-assurance rather than self-importance, etc.), they are good reminders for work and for life.
The authors illustrated their points with stories from their days at the White House, and while this is what piqued my interest in the book, I was left somewhat disappointed. I wish there had been more fleshing out of their stories, or a greater depth of analysis. Some of the stories were interesting and conveyed applicable wisdom, but some I had trouble relating to, i.e. "I almost faced disaster because a fancy soup I served didn't have the proper flaky crust on top -- oh nooooo!" But I suppose if I were a social secretary I'd be more worried about flaky crust in my day to day life ;)
Dinner anecdotes aside, this is a worthwhile read. As the authors point out, "So much of success, however you define it, hangs on how we treat others from all walks of life." We would all do well to remember this message.
This book is a little different from what I would normally pick up, but after hearing a couple of friends recommend it, I decided to read it myself. Written by former White House social secretaries to George W. Bush and Barack Obama, this book is a sort of primer on "soft skills" that are essential to success in any field. The authors focused on twelve elements of treating people well. While these "tips" weren't groundbreaking (be consistent, listen before you speak, emanate self-assurance rather than self-importance, etc.), they are good reminders for work and for life.
The authors illustrated their points with stories from their days at the White House, and while this is what piqued my interest in the book, I was left somewhat disappointed. I wish there had been more fleshing out of their stories, or a greater depth of analysis. Some of the stories were interesting and conveyed applicable wisdom, but some I had trouble relating to, i.e. "I almost faced disaster because a fancy soup I served didn't have the proper flaky crust on top -- oh nooooo!" But I suppose if I were a social secretary I'd be more worried about flaky crust in my day to day life ;)
Dinner anecdotes aside, this is a worthwhile read. As the authors point out, "So much of success, however you define it, hangs on how we treat others from all walks of life." We would all do well to remember this message.
January 13, 2018
This book is written by former White House Social Secretaries, Lea Berman and Jeremy Bernard, who served during the Bush (43) and Obama administrations, respectively. Having absolutely no personal experience in politics or relationship with anyone in Washington, I probably would not have given the book a second look, except for the fact that the title contained the word “civility”, which is in short supply these days, and I was intrigued by what two such partisans might agree on. Or perhaps I was subconsciously hoping for a mud fight, which I most definitely did not find.
This is a book about civility, not etiquette. “In this book, we share the lessons that made us better at our jobs and, at the same time, happier in our lives.” And that’s exactly what they do. “There is real power in civility because it’s about so much more than etiquette.” And why, no matter what you do for a living, this book is written for you. “So much of success, however you define it, hangs on how we treat others from all walks of life.” How true that is.
My primary observation about the book is that the authors took their task very seriously. It would have been easy to just slap down a few inside stories and collect the royalties from sales to all of the political insiders who undoubtedly want to see if they are mentioned. That is not at all what this work is, however.
While the advice may not rise to the level of earth shattering, it is earth changing. It is spot on, extremely well organized, and developed with an open mind and from a lot of experience. This was a book that took considerable effort in the making. The writing is very crisp, you can’t miss the salient points and themes, and each chapter builds on the prior chapters. Just what you'd expect from two very organized people.
A few of my favorite tidbits:
“Insisting on your own importance rarely works.”
“By creating a template of how we should behave on the outside, they shape who we are on the inside.”
“…the most effective leaders emanate self-assurance, not self-importance.”
“There is no trust without consistency.”
My favorite: “There is an established correlation between listening and leadership.” And, “We live in a world of constant communication but lackluster listening.”
All told, this is a very worthy read by two people who come off the page as competent, professional, and very human. Whoever you are and whatever reason you are looking for a book to read, I am quite sure you will both enjoy it and learn from it.
This is a book about civility, not etiquette. “In this book, we share the lessons that made us better at our jobs and, at the same time, happier in our lives.” And that’s exactly what they do. “There is real power in civility because it’s about so much more than etiquette.” And why, no matter what you do for a living, this book is written for you. “So much of success, however you define it, hangs on how we treat others from all walks of life.” How true that is.
My primary observation about the book is that the authors took their task very seriously. It would have been easy to just slap down a few inside stories and collect the royalties from sales to all of the political insiders who undoubtedly want to see if they are mentioned. That is not at all what this work is, however.
While the advice may not rise to the level of earth shattering, it is earth changing. It is spot on, extremely well organized, and developed with an open mind and from a lot of experience. This was a book that took considerable effort in the making. The writing is very crisp, you can’t miss the salient points and themes, and each chapter builds on the prior chapters. Just what you'd expect from two very organized people.
A few of my favorite tidbits:
“Insisting on your own importance rarely works.”
“By creating a template of how we should behave on the outside, they shape who we are on the inside.”
“…the most effective leaders emanate self-assurance, not self-importance.”
“There is no trust without consistency.”
My favorite: “There is an established correlation between listening and leadership.” And, “We live in a world of constant communication but lackluster listening.”
All told, this is a very worthy read by two people who come off the page as competent, professional, and very human. Whoever you are and whatever reason you are looking for a book to read, I am quite sure you will both enjoy it and learn from it.
May 8, 2018
How to succeed as an employee, a friend, a parent, a spouse, a citizen? Why, civility, of course. Plus some grace, self confidence and self deprecating humor as your sides. Common sense, for sure, but lately missing in DC, as we know. Written by 2 former White House Social Secretaries, 1 from a Republican Presidency, 1 from a Democratic one, they emphasize that their common success was due to their primary values and really nothing to do with political party.
Well written, with interesting stories about near misses and some poor behavior on the part of the powerful, This was an uplifting read.
Well written, with interesting stories about near misses and some poor behavior on the part of the powerful, This was an uplifting read.
November 14, 2017
This is a Goodreads win review. This is a wonderful book written by two people that worked at the White House. I was raised to treat all people in my path of life well so I loved this book. This is the most important points I loved in the book. Let It Go: When you find the compassion to forgive someone it is very freeing. You do not excuse thier behavior but you forgive them. Also forgive yourself when you are not perfect. Showing loyalty to people in so important. The third thing is to pass your blessings forward. Loved this book.
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May 29, 2018Excellent and easy reading! Light-hearted accounts of how the two authors did coped with the stresses of managing the social lives of two different First Ladies, each pointing out how treating people well worked for them and for those around them, enhancing trust and yet improving performance. It's not an essential read for everyone but I do recommend it for those of us who sometimes find it difficult to know just how to work with others to the benefit of all.
June 18, 2019
This book is by both Lea Berman and Jeremy Bernard, social secretaries for the Bush and Obama administrations, respectively. They share a lot of their experiences in the White House, and how they handled their jobs and the multitude of demands, at the same time sharing lessons they've learned, both from experience and from being with their bosses, who at that time held the highest status in America during the course of their presidencies.
They give you very simple advice on multiple cornerstones of civility and how we should treat each other as human beings, and their recommendations can apply to any setting. It's remembering that we are all different and we all have different perspectives, however, we can "adjust our expectations and behavior without giving up our own identities."
A lot of the things they talked about were practical approaches, and they laid it out like bullet points in between chapters and stories. This makes it simple to understand and easy to adapt. I probably could use a lot more depth, which is just my preference as I'd like more substance especially in certain topics, I feel like there could be a big benefit from providing more of a "how to" guide, as opposed to merely stating to do the recommendations, but this is alright too. There are lots of stories about events in the White House, which are mostly good examples, and some I can probably do without.
Overall it's a book you'd be coming back to for reference and pointers if you're meaning to change certain aspects of the way you feel you are in relation to others, and are looking for a good starting point.
I highlighted a bunch of stuff, still good to tie everything together, as there were a bunch of elements. I'm glad we chose this as one of our leadership book club picks, and I'm looking forward to the discussion and what others think about it.
They give you very simple advice on multiple cornerstones of civility and how we should treat each other as human beings, and their recommendations can apply to any setting. It's remembering that we are all different and we all have different perspectives, however, we can "adjust our expectations and behavior without giving up our own identities."
A lot of the things they talked about were practical approaches, and they laid it out like bullet points in between chapters and stories. This makes it simple to understand and easy to adapt. I probably could use a lot more depth, which is just my preference as I'd like more substance especially in certain topics, I feel like there could be a big benefit from providing more of a "how to" guide, as opposed to merely stating to do the recommendations, but this is alright too. There are lots of stories about events in the White House, which are mostly good examples, and some I can probably do without.
Overall it's a book you'd be coming back to for reference and pointers if you're meaning to change certain aspects of the way you feel you are in relation to others, and are looking for a good starting point.
I highlighted a bunch of stuff, still good to tie everything together, as there were a bunch of elements. I'm glad we chose this as one of our leadership book club picks, and I'm looking forward to the discussion and what others think about it.
September 11, 2019
I came for the anecdotes, and stayed to learn something.
A peek into the White House is the backdrop of this book about how to treat people well, which is the perfect setting for this material. Wow, it's eye-opening sometimes at what kinds of things go on behind the scenes to keep things moving smoothly in what has got to be one of the most complicated places to work on earth.
Told in a chatty, easy to read way the authors set out to illustrate certain points, talking well about the reasons why we do things as much as how. I hope I learned something, and maybe am a little more thoughtful in my actions after reading this.
Overall, I'm glad I picked this book up, and would highly recommend it in a variety of settings, whether you want to learn something of how to treat people in a business or social standpoint. My only complaint? That the book ended when it did. I would have loved to have kept reading just to see what else the authors had to say
A peek into the White House is the backdrop of this book about how to treat people well, which is the perfect setting for this material. Wow, it's eye-opening sometimes at what kinds of things go on behind the scenes to keep things moving smoothly in what has got to be one of the most complicated places to work on earth.
Told in a chatty, easy to read way the authors set out to illustrate certain points, talking well about the reasons why we do things as much as how. I hope I learned something, and maybe am a little more thoughtful in my actions after reading this.
Overall, I'm glad I picked this book up, and would highly recommend it in a variety of settings, whether you want to learn something of how to treat people in a business or social standpoint. My only complaint? That the book ended when it did. I would have loved to have kept reading just to see what else the authors had to say
July 27, 2019
Picked this up at the little free library near Alvarado Elementary and it far exceeded my expectations. This was a welcome light read full of fairly basic interpersonal communication and event planning tips interspersed with eyebrow raising stories that made me incredibly grateful that all the event planning I do for my job is of the low-stakes variety. In the current political mess and with all the horrifying "new normals" we're experiencing, it was restful for the mind to dwell on the fact that there are many people who care and who do their small bit of work every day to make huge political engines keep running, and that individuals are capable of navigating tough situations and growing from the experience.
January 28, 2019
How you read the book will define what you think of the book. What I mean is if you go in with a negative mindset or think that the title has a hidden meaning, you probably will hate it. If you go in with the mindset that you want to find little steps to make yourself a better person and take the title at face value, it’s an amazing book. One that stuck out to me is to change how we respond to employees that are not performing, and more importantly, how to be professional during hard times. I think this is a wonderful book that suits the purpose of “I want to do little things to change my mind frame to be a better person”. Bravo!
September 14, 2020
I liked this book. It was charming, wise, and amusing. It was worth the time. I also appreciated the view of the humans who did their best among the typical gaffes, goofs, and issues that happen even in the most coordinated and secure events.
March 3, 2018
Loved this book!
February 17, 2018
I was very entertained by the stories from The White House. The advice was not new, but I liked seeing how it played out on such a large scale.
November 5, 2018
I listened to the audiobook of this title. It was a great substitution to the political ads we are bombarded with during election season. All politicians should listen to this, over and over again.
July 27, 2020
Perhaps nothing ground-breaking here but this book is exceedingly pleasant – something we can all use in a dark and depressing time.
July 12, 2019
Filled with insights on how to relate and communicate with people.
January 31, 2018
I don't know, I've been alive a long time and there is nothing new here. Maybe this book is intended for very young and inexperienced people, but that should be stated up front. The advice was frankly so superficial! Respect for others. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't gossip. Even "be careful on social media." Really? What is needed is not advice to DO these things, but HOW to do it.
Just NOT ORIGINAL material here, it is warmed over Internet blog posts from no-one-we've-heard-of. About halfway through I started skimming for useful nuggets. The concept is great, so much potential for a great advice book, but I can't imagine much effort was put into it, the title WAY oversold the content. If it has value, it's perhaps for kids whose parents did not teach or value etiquette, and whose work experience is limited to Burger King.
I appreciated hearing the backgrounds of prior social events coordinators, and how these folks' backgrounds differed. Some of the anecdotes were interesting and fun -- others I have heard multiple times, and it seemed stale. It felt like getting the same forwarded email meme for the fifth time, except you pay for it.
I'm an easy rater, and I just can't give this a good rating. Sorry.
Just NOT ORIGINAL material here, it is warmed over Internet blog posts from no-one-we've-heard-of. About halfway through I started skimming for useful nuggets. The concept is great, so much potential for a great advice book, but I can't imagine much effort was put into it, the title WAY oversold the content. If it has value, it's perhaps for kids whose parents did not teach or value etiquette, and whose work experience is limited to Burger King.
I appreciated hearing the backgrounds of prior social events coordinators, and how these folks' backgrounds differed. Some of the anecdotes were interesting and fun -- others I have heard multiple times, and it seemed stale. It felt like getting the same forwarded email meme for the fifth time, except you pay for it.
I'm an easy rater, and I just can't give this a good rating. Sorry.
January 13, 2018
Will be heartily recommending this book to anyone whose ear I can bend. This is common sense, but the type that seems to elude too many people. Who will benefit from reading this?
anyone who deals with a variety of personalities (egos) among coworkers or customers
anyone who wants to get ahead in their business
anyone in a troubled relationship at home or the workplace
anyone juggling a million responsibilities
anyone working with the homeless, narcissists, and others who may provide special challenges
anyone who needs to pull off the impossible and do it well.
Two White House social secretaries share their experiences using anecdotes of inviting dignitaries, actors, singers, and politicians to formal events and all that can go wrong. But this is not just a string of stories. It is treating people the way they deserve to be treated even when they are hard to deal with, realizing it makes your own life easier in the process. They provide practical advice about preparing, grooming, using humor, defusing situations, networking, and much more. There is something to take away from this for all. Excellent etiquette and customer service advice predicated on the Golden Rule of "Do Unto Others..."
anyone who deals with a variety of personalities (egos) among coworkers or customers
anyone who wants to get ahead in their business
anyone in a troubled relationship at home or the workplace
anyone juggling a million responsibilities
anyone working with the homeless, narcissists, and others who may provide special challenges
anyone who needs to pull off the impossible and do it well.
Two White House social secretaries share their experiences using anecdotes of inviting dignitaries, actors, singers, and politicians to formal events and all that can go wrong. But this is not just a string of stories. It is treating people the way they deserve to be treated even when they are hard to deal with, realizing it makes your own life easier in the process. They provide practical advice about preparing, grooming, using humor, defusing situations, networking, and much more. There is something to take away from this for all. Excellent etiquette and customer service advice predicated on the Golden Rule of "Do Unto Others..."
April 27, 2021
I enjoyed Treating People Well. There are tips and wisdom on treating others well interwoven with stories from the authors’ time serving in the White House. This book would be useful for all, young and old. Useful for younger people entering their careers, and a good read for those who are older, navigating a landscape that seems to be increasingly uncivil.
I appreciated the useful reminders on how to navigate difficult situations with grace. Also, tips on how to treat others who might be difficult, or who happen to have differing views or opinions. White House guests were made to feel special and welcomed. This is a great way to approach people in our everyday lives.
There is an obvious effort put into this book. It's organized and well-thought-out. Recommended if you wish to feel inspired and entertained and hear little anecdotes about life in the White House.
I appreciated the useful reminders on how to navigate difficult situations with grace. Also, tips on how to treat others who might be difficult, or who happen to have differing views or opinions. White House guests were made to feel special and welcomed. This is a great way to approach people in our everyday lives.
There is an obvious effort put into this book. It's organized and well-thought-out. Recommended if you wish to feel inspired and entertained and hear little anecdotes about life in the White House.
February 13, 2018
I liked this book a lot. The stories about the Bush and Obama White Houses were my favorite parts. Yet, the information about treating people well, being kind, and navigating the workplace were fantastic. Done with style and grace while still retaining humor.
This is a great book for young people starting out in the corporate career. Also, a good book if you keep banging up against a wall and seem to be getting nowhere at work.
The tips on courtesy, tact, diplomacy, and grace under pressure are so valuable. Buy this book and pass it along to someone in need. I wish someone had given me this book when I was in my early twenties and then said "read it!" There's a lot of sage advice written in a super gentle manner.
This is a great book for young people starting out in the corporate career. Also, a good book if you keep banging up against a wall and seem to be getting nowhere at work.
The tips on courtesy, tact, diplomacy, and grace under pressure are so valuable. Buy this book and pass it along to someone in need. I wish someone had given me this book when I was in my early twenties and then said "read it!" There's a lot of sage advice written in a super gentle manner.
March 26, 2021
Written by former White House social secretaries George W. Bush and Barack Obama, this book is a sort of primer on "soft skills" that are essential to success in any field. The authors focused on twelve elements of treating people well, such as emanate self-assurance rather than self-importance, humour, consistency, listening before you speak, smile, etc.), they are good reminders for work and for life.
The most important thing I have learnt is: There is one basic rule for how to conduct yourself that fits any interaction, and it's the underlying principle of this book: at as if the entire world is watching, and you cannot fail to do the right thing. Most of us like to think of ourselves as good people, and if we sense that we're doing is public, we're more likely to behave reasonably. Over time, we become more balanced, calm, and confident, which makes our connections with others stronger and more positive. We came to realize this because so much of our job was to be on display. We were the greeters at events, the ones who tiptoed up before an expectant crowd to show a performer where to stand. When you know people are watching everything you do, you stand a little straighter, smile a little more patiently, and try to anticipate the best possible outcome in any interaction.
A few of my favourite tidbits:
A few of my favourite tidbits:
"To become accomplished in any pursuit require dedication."
"Being consistent is a critical ingredient in achieving success in life because most things worth doing require time, repetition, and prolonged effort."
"We have found that the four most important elements of consistency are created efficient routines, be decisive, anticipate the unexpected, and become closer."
"The basis for every behaviour we've discussed requires each of us to begin with an open-minded attitude. You don't have to sail through life with the joie de vivre of a Disney forest creature, but you won't experience positive outcomes if what you're putting into the world is negative. Fear and anger circumscribe our actions, affect how others perceive us, and diminish our ability to change the things we don't like in our lives. Abe Lincoln said that 'most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.' If you're optimistic enough to accept that treating people with kindness and respect will make them likely to do the same, then you're already on the right path."
"You can respect and honour another's perspective without subscribing to it. That's the essence of civility."
"It's important to take the long view when considering how honest you want to be with someone. Remember that many working relationships need to continue, even if there's been a conflict, so build for the future."
"When they go low, we go high."
“We close with two final observations about difficult people. The battles they seek and the conflict they create aren't really with you but with themselves. Remembering that makes it easier to view them with some level of compassion. And continuing to treat such a person with equanimity, despite the abuse he or she hands out, is a reflection of your own good character and integrity.”
"So much of success, however you define it, hangs on how we treat others from all walks of life."
All told, this is a very worthy read by two people who come off the page as competent, professional, and very human. Whomever you are and whatever reason you are looking for a book to read, I am quite sure you will both enjoy it and learn from it.
The most important thing I have learnt is: There is one basic rule for how to conduct yourself that fits any interaction, and it's the underlying principle of this book: at as if the entire world is watching, and you cannot fail to do the right thing. Most of us like to think of ourselves as good people, and if we sense that we're doing is public, we're more likely to behave reasonably. Over time, we become more balanced, calm, and confident, which makes our connections with others stronger and more positive. We came to realize this because so much of our job was to be on display. We were the greeters at events, the ones who tiptoed up before an expectant crowd to show a performer where to stand. When you know people are watching everything you do, you stand a little straighter, smile a little more patiently, and try to anticipate the best possible outcome in any interaction.
A few of my favourite tidbits:
A few of my favourite tidbits:
"To become accomplished in any pursuit require dedication."
"Being consistent is a critical ingredient in achieving success in life because most things worth doing require time, repetition, and prolonged effort."
"We have found that the four most important elements of consistency are created efficient routines, be decisive, anticipate the unexpected, and become closer."
"The basis for every behaviour we've discussed requires each of us to begin with an open-minded attitude. You don't have to sail through life with the joie de vivre of a Disney forest creature, but you won't experience positive outcomes if what you're putting into the world is negative. Fear and anger circumscribe our actions, affect how others perceive us, and diminish our ability to change the things we don't like in our lives. Abe Lincoln said that 'most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.' If you're optimistic enough to accept that treating people with kindness and respect will make them likely to do the same, then you're already on the right path."
"You can respect and honour another's perspective without subscribing to it. That's the essence of civility."
"It's important to take the long view when considering how honest you want to be with someone. Remember that many working relationships need to continue, even if there's been a conflict, so build for the future."
"When they go low, we go high."
“We close with two final observations about difficult people. The battles they seek and the conflict they create aren't really with you but with themselves. Remembering that makes it easier to view them with some level of compassion. And continuing to treat such a person with equanimity, despite the abuse he or she hands out, is a reflection of your own good character and integrity.”
"So much of success, however you define it, hangs on how we treat others from all walks of life."
All told, this is a very worthy read by two people who come off the page as competent, professional, and very human. Whomever you are and whatever reason you are looking for a book to read, I am quite sure you will both enjoy it and learn from it.
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