Morning, Noon and Night

by Spalding Gray

A hilarious monologue about fatherhood by a unique comic voice In Morning, Noon and Night that master of the confessional, Spalding Gray, tells the event-filled, emotionally charged, and outrageously funny story of one day of his life in October 1997, after the birth of his son Theo. Horrified by the prospect of having another son, considering what he and his two brothers did to their father, and ambivalent about the idea of living in a small, quaint town on eastern Long Island that seems an odd detour for a man destined for California, Gray comes to feel, of course, a profound affinity for his baby boy, born with the looks of a "wet, blue beaver." But this is not merely a father's account of an infant son; it's the story of his new life with his girlfriend Kathie; his regally precocious eleven-year-old stepdaughter, Marissa ("Please don't let me die a virgin!"); and his older son, Forrest, who stymies Gray time and again with his metaphysical inquisitiveness-"Daddy, what's behind the stars?" "How do flies celebrate?" A richly comic work about parenthood, about adults who don't grow up and children who do, Morning, Noon and Night stands as Gray's most mature work to date.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Plays, Biography Memoir, Biography, Drama

160 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1999

About the author

Spalding Gray was an American actor, screenwriter, performance artist, and playwright.

Reviews

[Steven Schrader · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book provides amusing and poignant descriptions of his children and family life. This article describes the ensuing tragedy:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/20...

[Fred · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have read most of Spalding Gray's previous books, and I liked all of them. Some of them I much more than liked, which is why I kept coming back.

This one I did not finish, but not because I am yet another disillusioned or oddly angry fan who feels artistically betrayed by Gray's later suicide. On that point, I think it might be instructive for other readers to know that the depression that brought him so low that he took his life appears to have come on, at least in part, because of brain injury he suffered after a car accident in Ireland. For more on that, see the posthumous book LIFE, INTERRUPTED, which includes an unfinished (and rather interesting) monologue about the incident. I have also heard Gray's widow on This American Life explaining what life was like for him after the accident, and I think it's an element of his life story worth considering. Dismissing this book because the author's life ended in suicide seems strangely judgmental. A writer's works should not be discounted just because his last decision was misguided and irrevocable.

All that said, my problem with the book is somewhat summarized in Gray's own fears about the direction of his monologues: happiness and contentment can make for dull reading. The challenges of parenthood don't create quite the same kind of tension as his earlier problems, and it seems clear that he is also telling stories with greater self-consciousness. I don't blame him for taking into consideration the feelings of his wife and children when writing about them, but as a reader, I also don't feel compelled to read the results. I left this one unfinished, which was disappointing after following his work for so many years. It was more disappointing still since there will be no more monologues to look forward to, but I did appreciate the central story in LIFE, INTERRUPTED, and I think that one's definitely worth a read.

[Eve Lyons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, people's comments on this book show a shocking ignorance about mental illness. Yes, this book - Gray's last completed monologue - is ironic in that it is hopeful about his prognosis for coping with his depression. But it was also written years before he killed himself, and none of us can know what happened to him in those years, how much harder things got and how much he was suffering. What I do know is that we are all suffering for the loss of Spalding Gray, because he was a brilliant writer and man, and I miss his voice in the world.

This is one of my favorite monologues, along with Monster in a Box and Gray's Anatomy. His language is colloquial but subtly very clever and brilliant. His juxtapositions and narrative ability are unsurpassed. I consider myself lucky for getting to see him live - and this was the monologue I saw, in San Francisco in the 1990's - because that is the way to see his work.

[Justin Grimbol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book takes place in Sag Harbor, New York, where I grew up. He describes it well. Spalding Gray and I probably ran in different circles and experienced the place from very different angles. I was a doofy, angsty, chubby, weed smoking, female butt loving, pizza guzzling, badly dressed local. While he was a rich, artsy, and snobby eccentric, who vacationed in the town then moved there later in his life. Still, I think he catches the heart of Sag Harbor in this book. Its a Sag Harbor I recognize. Anyone that has spent any time in Sag Harbor, whether they vacationed there, or spent their whole life there, will appreciate this book.

[Callie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The monologue is, as a whole, very beautiful - melancholy and sentimental, more than a little funny and maybe even rather hopeful. He captures, his wife & kids, very completely. The writing is good and has an unedited / unpolished quality. Not sure how intentional that is. What he captures quite completely is the fabric of mental illness - the ability to be quite well and quite not all sometimes and sequence and sometimes at the same time. Glad I read it through, but maybe a little underwhelmed?

[Printable Tire]

Sort of reads like an extensive Christmas letter, but with more depressing thoughts on death (made more depressing considering how Gray died). Yet the existential bourgeois minutia is oddly readable and eventually uplifting:

I must forgive myself for not knowing what I wanted. For me, that is a natural state of mind because I am only living once. There is nothing, no other life of mine, to compare this one too. There is no way of knowing what the right decision in life is if you have no other life to compare it to. We are like blind people backing into the future, living for better or for worse lives only once, and so on.


Gray is so articulate and specific in his confessions you get attached to him. If I were one of his children, at first I'd be so embarrassed by the personal stories he exploits for this monologue, then I'd be angered that he'd abandoned me after leaving such a stirring homily to family. Hopefully, though, they've come to appreciate such a wonderful recording of this "immortality project" on a single day in October, 1997.

Local connection: I wonder if the Warren Five & Dime he mentions is that pharmacy with the still-operational soda fountain?

[Mary K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gray's writing is simply perfect. I don't know anyone else, except David Sedaris, who can mesmerize me by writing about a single day in his life. I was heartbroken when I googled the author and discovered he had taken his own life not long after this book was published. What a tragedy. But he left a beautiful tribute to his family through this book

[Ayden · Rating 4 out of 5]

The thing I find interesting about Morning, Noon and Night is how Spalding Gray blends both the idea of a single day in his life and how it fits ultimately into his whole life.

At the end of the book he describes living a bog standard day like the one he's depicted as being a Sisyphisian task and I appreciate how he uses that basic sense to tie a mundane day to that of a life story.

[Patrick Hanlon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wise, funny, and after SG's passing, poignant.

[Misha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spalding Gray committed suicide in 2004 by jumping off the Staten Island ferry. I still remember being stunned by the news, being a casual admirer of his work and having no knowledge of the car accident in Ireland that left him in so much pain. Reading Morning, Noon and Night with the specter of his death was odd—because it’s ostensibly a celebration of family life at a point when Spalding was welcoming the arrival of his second son, Theo. Spalding never thought he’d have kids or become a family man, and he says at one point in the book that he thought that if he did have children it would be late in life so that he would die before they became teenagers. Sadly, he got his wish. But Spalding brought great wit, thought and energy to his life while he lived and was clearly a great father. Reading Life Interrupted afterwards just made me cry copiously—it includes the last monologues he was working on and the eulogies that were read at the services in New York and Rhode Island.

[Julie Farrar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could hear Gray's voice in my head as I read it. It had all the rhythm and wryness of his stage performances. I read it holding back a tear, however, because he says so many things that presage his tragic end. Reading it is like watching a train barrel down the track toward a car and holding your breath as you wait for the inevitable deadly collision. But what a storyteller Spalding Gray was.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

This reminded me of a short chapter in Karl Ove Knausgaard's "My Struggle", but set on Long Island instead of Norway. Gray's meandering first person monologue reads like he's telling you a story. It's set on a single day after the birth of his second son. As a 55-year-old father of a newborn, Gray reminisces about his past while trying to work out his fears of being a father once again. I wouldn't describe it as hilarious, but it's witty and charming. Certainly, an easy conversational read.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only book I ever considered BURNING. His suicide makes what he says in the book so hard to deal with. Though there is a dark side to the book, it is overall a look at a day in his life and how he gets the strength to keep going and not kill himself. But you know he killed himself.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always loved his monologues. He was a neurotic man and one of the best storytellers around. This one is written two years before he was in a major car accident that left him physically challenged and in a major depression that (presumably) eventually led to his suicide.

[Heather Goff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spalding Gray is funny, funny; smart; self-deprecating; insightful.

[Aurora · Rating 4 out of 5]

My sissy knew that I would need a book about an older father raising his children. Thanks lovey!

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet, funny -- and now, of course, sad. It's standard neurotic, death-obsessed Spalding Gray, and if you like that sort of thing, you'll like this.

[Phoebe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pointless.

[Bradley Hanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monologist Spalding Gray shares his views of life as a parent. I laughed out loud and repeatedly. Brilliant. RIP to a great author.

[Ayelet Waldman · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's something just a little bit depressing about how privileged he is and how unhappy.

[Steven Spector · Rating 4 out of 5]

When we join our hero now, he is unexpectedly experiencing the joys of becoming and being a father. It couldn't have happened to a more imperfect guy!!

[Lucas Dispoto · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd like to see this performed (it was originally a monologue) because I think there is definitely an advantage to Gray's showmanship. Still interesting although I found it a bit rambling at times.