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Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life In The Balance, A Love Story
A memoir unlike any you’ve ever read before.
When Holly wakes up with a debilitating headache, confusion soon turns to panic as she suffers a seizure and is rushed to hospital. Diagnosed with a ruptured brain aneurysm and Grade IV hemorrhage, the 39-year old college professor soon finds herself fighting for her life as her heart and lungs fail en route to emergency treatment.
As family and friends rush to be by her side, former students and close friends from around the country write memories to be read at her bedside, detailing a life and legacy that has influenced so many.
Experience what loved ones did in real-time as texts and e-mails sent during the medical crisis form the narrative for this compelling journey through the eyes of Holly and her boyfriend who kept vigil through it all.
A book that will challenge and compel you to reflect not just on love and death, but also the hundred micro-reflections nestled in between as you ponder what constitutes a life well lived, and how one impacts others along the way.
EDITORIAL REVIEWS:
“Unforgettable. Readers not only receive insights into their (own) lives and connections to it; but on the medical challenges of aneurysms and the recovery process and prognosis. A(n) invigorating celebration of life unexpected in a memoir that depicts a close encounter with death: one which pulls heartstrings, educates about aneurysm and disability, and is replete with emails, text messages, and a peppering of black and white photos throughout. Readers who seek uplifting stories of recovery and life challenges will relish the tone, presentation, and surprisingly multifaceted story of Holly and Greg's journey from the brink in a saga that proves hard to put down.” (D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review)
"The book is touching and engrossing, and much more than a memoir of an illness, telling a timeless story of a devotion among family and friends. The story becomes less about one couple than a universal story of endurance and love, which is at once harrowing and inspiring. Please Stay is a powerful message of love in the face of tragedy and how in times of hardship, people can rally around each other to reveal a deeper humanity." (Self-Publishing Review)
“As anyone who has suffered the shocking loss or illness of a loved one will tell you, time is precious. This is a lovely meditation on that theme, a way to try and get to the bottom of that most complex idea - the "accident", the bolt out of the blue, the unforeseen event. Like grief, like asking why, like losing people - sometimes we can't understand things, we just have to learn to live with them. Life just is.” (James Hartley Books 5*)
“Please Stay is a smoothly written memoir about what it’s like to live through a health crisis— a worthy, sometimes tear-inducing, and highly inspiring read.” (BlueInk Review)
“Heartbreaking and heart-lifting.” (Reader Views)
When Holly wakes up with a debilitating headache, confusion soon turns to panic as she suffers a seizure and is rushed to hospital. Diagnosed with a ruptured brain aneurysm and Grade IV hemorrhage, the 39-year old college professor soon finds herself fighting for her life as her heart and lungs fail en route to emergency treatment.
As family and friends rush to be by her side, former students and close friends from around the country write memories to be read at her bedside, detailing a life and legacy that has influenced so many.
Experience what loved ones did in real-time as texts and e-mails sent during the medical crisis form the narrative for this compelling journey through the eyes of Holly and her boyfriend who kept vigil through it all.
A book that will challenge and compel you to reflect not just on love and death, but also the hundred micro-reflections nestled in between as you ponder what constitutes a life well lived, and how one impacts others along the way.
EDITORIAL REVIEWS:
“Unforgettable. Readers not only receive insights into their (own) lives and connections to it; but on the medical challenges of aneurysms and the recovery process and prognosis. A(n) invigorating celebration of life unexpected in a memoir that depicts a close encounter with death: one which pulls heartstrings, educates about aneurysm and disability, and is replete with emails, text messages, and a peppering of black and white photos throughout. Readers who seek uplifting stories of recovery and life challenges will relish the tone, presentation, and surprisingly multifaceted story of Holly and Greg's journey from the brink in a saga that proves hard to put down.” (D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review)
"The book is touching and engrossing, and much more than a memoir of an illness, telling a timeless story of a devotion among family and friends. The story becomes less about one couple than a universal story of endurance and love, which is at once harrowing and inspiring. Please Stay is a powerful message of love in the face of tragedy and how in times of hardship, people can rally around each other to reveal a deeper humanity." (Self-Publishing Review)
“As anyone who has suffered the shocking loss or illness of a loved one will tell you, time is precious. This is a lovely meditation on that theme, a way to try and get to the bottom of that most complex idea - the "accident", the bolt out of the blue, the unforeseen event. Like grief, like asking why, like losing people - sometimes we can't understand things, we just have to learn to live with them. Life just is.” (James Hartley Books 5*)
“Please Stay is a smoothly written memoir about what it’s like to live through a health crisis— a worthy, sometimes tear-inducing, and highly inspiring read.” (BlueInk Review)
“Heartbreaking and heart-lifting.” (Reader Views)
- GenresMedicalNonfiction
307 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 29, 2018
262 people are currently reading
291 people want to read
About the author
Greg Payan
1 book6 followersGreg Payan was born and raised in Queens, NY. While currently working full time as a journalist, fate intervened when his then partner, now wife, was struck by a sudden brain hemorrhage. He detailed the health crisis in his memoir, Please Stay (2018), his only full-length book. Employing actual correspondence which updated friends, colleagues and loved ones through long emails at the end of each of 24 ICU days; text messages sent back and forth to to family as things unfolded; and photos documenting events as they happened the reader experiences the fears and prayers of all involved in a medical crisis.
Please Stay is a book that one person described as ‘more of a love letter at times, than a memoir.’ It’s a unique story of love and survival that speaks to people across boundaries of health and wellness; a story of faith and hope and love. Replete with tender anecdotes, the book calls readers to question their own legacies and to celebrate their lives and the love of the people in them.
Please Stay is a book that one person described as ‘more of a love letter at times, than a memoir.’ It’s a unique story of love and survival that speaks to people across boundaries of health and wellness; a story of faith and hope and love. Replete with tender anecdotes, the book calls readers to question their own legacies and to celebrate their lives and the love of the people in them.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
April 16, 2018
This is a very sweet, moving, honest record of what happened to the author when his girlfriend suffered a brain aneurysm one day, out of the blue. The story is told via a series of texts, emails and social media messages, which works well as a way of demonstrating how much we mean to other people and how much other people mean to us. It also provides a very visceral, vicarious way of reliving the events told in the story - we cannot help but be there with Greg, Holly and their family and friends.
Often we leave it too late or we simply don´t bother telling people we love how we feel about them while they are alive. We take our and their life and health for granted. The fact that everything can change in an instant - and did - is something which you can tell still haunts the author. As anyone who has suffered the shocking loss or illness of a loved one will tell you, time is precious.
This is a lovely meditation on that theme, a way to try and get to the bottom of that most complex idea - the "accident", the bolt out of the blue, the unforeseen event. Like grief, like asking why, like losing people - sometimes we can´t understand things, we just have to learn to live with them. Life just is.
Often we leave it too late or we simply don´t bother telling people we love how we feel about them while they are alive. We take our and their life and health for granted. The fact that everything can change in an instant - and did - is something which you can tell still haunts the author. As anyone who has suffered the shocking loss or illness of a loved one will tell you, time is precious.
This is a lovely meditation on that theme, a way to try and get to the bottom of that most complex idea - the "accident", the bolt out of the blue, the unforeseen event. Like grief, like asking why, like losing people - sometimes we can´t understand things, we just have to learn to live with them. Life just is.
April 8, 2018
Holly is a beautiful, vibrant woman with a rich and wonderful life, a college professor with so much life ahead of her, and then the unthinkable happens. A brain aneurysm puts her into intensive care, clinging to life by a thread.
The story of the impact she has had on others throughout her life is told through the letters and emails of encouragement sent to be read to her at her bedside to encourage her to keep fighting for life. Sweet, touching, occasionally tear-jerking, Please Stay is a love letter to life itself.
The story of the impact she has had on others throughout her life is told through the letters and emails of encouragement sent to be read to her at her bedside to encourage her to keep fighting for life. Sweet, touching, occasionally tear-jerking, Please Stay is a love letter to life itself.
April 21, 2018
I dare anyone to read this book and not fall in love with Greg and Holly. Reading more like a gut-wrenching personal diary with personal notes, emails, and texts, "Please Stay" grabs you immediately with its raw vulnerability and humor sprinkled throughout such an uncertain time in this couple's life. This story will challenge you on every page. Not just by compelling you to reflect on life's biggest themes of death and love – but also a hundred micro reflections nestled in between: How could I rid myself of anxiety after such trauma? How would I face death with a partner of different faith? Would my own relationships hold up under such uncertainty and stress? I'm so thankful for Greg's courage, both in the moment of Holly's emergency, and for the courage he had to recount it here.
March 7, 2018
As you follow this true story of a young heroine’s battle to survive, you not only see her beauty and strength, but the incredible positive force of those around her. Her partner (author) reveals his innermost thoughts and this sensitivity has you rooting for him as much as you do her. Typically, I would avoid reading a book that was full of sadness. This one is not!
As someone who had my partner go through traumatic medical situations, yet none like this, I deeply identified with the writer and was amazed at the way he could pour out his real feelings right in the thick of things. In the midst of unknown chaos and uncertainty of death, life and perhaps permanent disabilities, we feel the author’s human side. His writing is clear, heartfelt and vulnerable even in the text and email messages sent during the initial hospital stay.
Throughout, we are shown the resilience of Holly and get to know her personally through this retelling. The author does a superb job of allowing us to visualize this woman before, during and after the aneurysm. With incredible willpower, she never seems to take a “poor me” attitude about her situation.
I do not want to put in spoilers but if you read this book, it will make you think of many things in your own life. How would you handle a medical emergency of this magnitude if it happened to you? Who would be there to support you? What community and feelings of camaraderie are you building now so that if you needed that energy back in the future, you could have it? What would you do if you were in the position of Greg? How would you cope with the vast changes, occasional guilt, even anger at times at what life was dishing up for this couple? Who would be there to support you in your role of support person? This book really makes you think of those things and definitely leaves you kissing each new day.
The photographs and messages within the text added greatly to the book and made you connect even more with the story. This is the best love story I had read in a very long time! The love is strong, true, and unconditional, all while walking into the unknown.
As someone who had my partner go through traumatic medical situations, yet none like this, I deeply identified with the writer and was amazed at the way he could pour out his real feelings right in the thick of things. In the midst of unknown chaos and uncertainty of death, life and perhaps permanent disabilities, we feel the author’s human side. His writing is clear, heartfelt and vulnerable even in the text and email messages sent during the initial hospital stay.
Throughout, we are shown the resilience of Holly and get to know her personally through this retelling. The author does a superb job of allowing us to visualize this woman before, during and after the aneurysm. With incredible willpower, she never seems to take a “poor me” attitude about her situation.
I do not want to put in spoilers but if you read this book, it will make you think of many things in your own life. How would you handle a medical emergency of this magnitude if it happened to you? Who would be there to support you? What community and feelings of camaraderie are you building now so that if you needed that energy back in the future, you could have it? What would you do if you were in the position of Greg? How would you cope with the vast changes, occasional guilt, even anger at times at what life was dishing up for this couple? Who would be there to support you in your role of support person? This book really makes you think of those things and definitely leaves you kissing each new day.
The photographs and messages within the text added greatly to the book and made you connect even more with the story. This is the best love story I had read in a very long time! The love is strong, true, and unconditional, all while walking into the unknown.
July 20, 2018
I won the Kindle version of this book in a Goodreads giveaway.
Boy, did this one hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s rare that a book makes me cry, but this one did. This memoir is uniquely done; the story of Holly’s fight to survive a grade IV ruptured aneurysm is told primarily through emails and text messages between Greg (Holly’s boyfriend) and Holly’s family and friends. I found it difficult to put down. Part of that is because I am also an aneurysm survivor. While my aneurysm was tiny and did not rupture (it was found incidentally on an MRI), it was still larger than Holly’s and this story serves as a reminder of what could have happened to me had mine ruptured. This quote from the book sums the whole thing up perfectly: “Although I know ‘difficult time’ cannot begin to describe this ordeal, I think this ‘difficult time’ has shown me another example of what true love should be.” This book is a deeply moving, candid, and intimate love story that really tugged at my heartstrings!
Boy, did this one hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s rare that a book makes me cry, but this one did. This memoir is uniquely done; the story of Holly’s fight to survive a grade IV ruptured aneurysm is told primarily through emails and text messages between Greg (Holly’s boyfriend) and Holly’s family and friends. I found it difficult to put down. Part of that is because I am also an aneurysm survivor. While my aneurysm was tiny and did not rupture (it was found incidentally on an MRI), it was still larger than Holly’s and this story serves as a reminder of what could have happened to me had mine ruptured. This quote from the book sums the whole thing up perfectly: “Although I know ‘difficult time’ cannot begin to describe this ordeal, I think this ‘difficult time’ has shown me another example of what true love should be.” This book is a deeply moving, candid, and intimate love story that really tugged at my heartstrings!
February 26, 2018
This is really quite a touching and powerful book. the cover is unassuming, just black and white and deceptively understated.
A story unfolds through with emails, text messaged, and letters with just enough narration to unify it all.
Holly, a vibrant college professor in her late 30's suffers a near fatal aneurysm and spends several weeks in the hospital on the brink of death.
The love of her friends and husband shines through their words of support and encouragement. As friends share with Holly what she has meant to them in their lives, you can't help but tear up. And its all a true story.
A story unfolds through with emails, text messaged, and letters with just enough narration to unify it all.
Holly, a vibrant college professor in her late 30's suffers a near fatal aneurysm and spends several weeks in the hospital on the brink of death.
The love of her friends and husband shines through their words of support and encouragement. As friends share with Holly what she has meant to them in their lives, you can't help but tear up. And its all a true story.
February 21, 2018
‘Please Stay’ proves a beautiful, raw account of hope and love for a woman whose well-being is jeopardized by a ruptured aneurysm. Payan’s account of his fiancée’s recovery consists primarily of emails and texts from various friends and family members that all read as love letters to her. Replete with tender anecdotes, the book calls readers to question their own legacies and to celebrate their lives and the love of the people in them.
February 23, 2022
Just Okay
While I’m sorry for everything Greg and Holly went through, I did not like the format of this book, page after page of emails from friends and coworkers and Holly’s former students. I wish the story would have been told more directly. I wouldn’t recommend this book. There are much better books to read if you want a memoir on surviving TBI.
While I’m sorry for everything Greg and Holly went through, I did not like the format of this book, page after page of emails from friends and coworkers and Holly’s former students. I wish the story would have been told more directly. I wouldn’t recommend this book. There are much better books to read if you want a memoir on surviving TBI.
July 16, 2018
An emotional roller coaster full of love, fear, heat ache, worry and hope.
January 2, 2019
I received this book in exchange for an honest review. I thoroughly enjoyed this raw, heartfelt, vulnerable memoir and have given it five out of five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
What an incredible, touching story.
First and foremost, Greg and Holly you are both so individually strong even when it may have been at the most difficult time and I would love to give you both huge hugs for that. You both have been through such a traumatic couple of years and I really hope that you both are doing well and happy together as you truly deserve to be. (I highly doubt that you are reading this however I can hope!)
This story is told through a series of emails, texts, photos and social media messages which I thought worked very well and became a very personal memoir between family and friends. The sequence of the events and the different messages shown across the book really helped to give a vivid look into the events that occurred over the years 2014 and 2015.
I really fell for Holly's personality and quirks that Greg portrayed about her throughout this book. I loved that this book was completely raw with honesty and vulnerable details of their tough and brave journey that took place when Holly experienced a ruptured aneurysm. To read over the ups and downs of the progress of Holly and what Greg saw of it firsthand was incredibly heartbreaking, but when things are starting to look brighter at the end of the tunnel I couldn't help but feel a sigh of relief and hope for them. It definitely made me think about how I would support and care for my partner, to be there when they need you the most, to be strong and courageous for the both of you and to have a lot of faith.
This story has such a powerful impact and I think everyone should read this memoir, to honour the strength and courage of both Greg and Holly and what they have overcome and achieved both individually and together.
September 13, 2020
Absolutely beautiful, honest, pained, and vulnerable: Greg Payan's book recounts they journey he took with his fiancee, Holly, and their loved ones as she first suffered then later survived a ruptured aneurysm. Through daily narratives, shared e-correspondence, shared prayers, he reveals how an entire community of support was necessary for Holly's hospital care and healing.
As a ruptured brain aneurysm survivor, I read this slowly over two months. Only a bit of reading each day - usually followed by my daily journal writing - allowed for me to read this not as an intellectual task but as an emotional, even spiritual journey. True, some sections made me shiver because recognition described processes I couldn't understand when they were happening to me. Just one example of this was reading about "vasospasms" which terrified me when I experienced them in my own ICU weeks, and I've had physical reactions these past four years every single time I've read or heard that word. Far beyond my times of personal discomfort, however, revelations of how Greg Payan's personal challenges and joys brought great hope and joy. I greatly appreciate his perspective as a caregiver. I admire his bravery first in standing by Holly and then seeking (and sharing) his own healing. I highly recommend this to all affected by brain aneurysms: survivors, caregivers, and loved ones who want to be supportive. "Please Stay" is full of honesty, hope, and bravery. These are the qualities we need on this extraordinary, lifelong journey.
As a ruptured brain aneurysm survivor, I read this slowly over two months. Only a bit of reading each day - usually followed by my daily journal writing - allowed for me to read this not as an intellectual task but as an emotional, even spiritual journey. True, some sections made me shiver because recognition described processes I couldn't understand when they were happening to me. Just one example of this was reading about "vasospasms" which terrified me when I experienced them in my own ICU weeks, and I've had physical reactions these past four years every single time I've read or heard that word. Far beyond my times of personal discomfort, however, revelations of how Greg Payan's personal challenges and joys brought great hope and joy. I greatly appreciate his perspective as a caregiver. I admire his bravery first in standing by Holly and then seeking (and sharing) his own healing. I highly recommend this to all affected by brain aneurysms: survivors, caregivers, and loved ones who want to be supportive. "Please Stay" is full of honesty, hope, and bravery. These are the qualities we need on this extraordinary, lifelong journey.
February 12, 2019
I am currently recovering from a SAH, so I'm trying to read as much as I can about other peoples' experiences. This one stands out for sure. I feel like I know this couple. And to experience it from a caregiver's perspective is what makes this book unique. I do have to admit, reading the emails became redundant after a while. It paints a picture of how wonderful this woman is, but I started skipping through them towards the end.
February 27, 2018
I purchased this book on Amazon to read on my Kindle. All opinions are my own. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟Please Stay A Brain Bleed, A Life in the Balance, A Love Story by Greg Payan. From the beginning this book will grab you by the heart and not let go of you. Just when you think you can relax something happens that will get the anxiety rushing again. Greg and Holly go to bed one night as usual in Greg's apartment only when morning comes everything is not normal. Greg calls family, 911 and then rushes to an ER with Holly. In a few shorts hours his world is turned upside down. Holly has suffered a brain bleed and her life is on the line. Days and days in ICU we watch Greg find everything he can to just hold onto Holly one more day. His lifeline becomes her sister, his parents, and a few close friends. With everything in him Greg struggles to find his new normal and keep friends updated with her progress or lack of. This is a nonfiction story of how love can prevail even in impossible odds and no one knows why or how. A true miracle unfolds on every page. Review also posted on Instagram @borenbooks, Library Thing, Goodreads/StacieBoren, Go Read, Amazon, Twitter @jason_stacie, and my blog at readsbystacie.com.
April 9, 2018
Miracles happen
Why and how miracles work is a mystery but when you experience one it's a wonder in itself. Most people see a birth of a child as miracle but when you come as close to dying and come out unscathed that is a sight to see. I give Greg kudos for documenting every note sent and writing this book. May he find peace as they go on to the next chapter.
Why and how miracles work is a mystery but when you experience one it's a wonder in itself. Most people see a birth of a child as miracle but when you come as close to dying and come out unscathed that is a sight to see. I give Greg kudos for documenting every note sent and writing this book. May he find peace as they go on to the next chapter.
Want to read
May 24, 2018#GoodreadsGiveaway
December 12, 2018
Reviewed by Kimberly Luyckx for Reader Views (11/18)
“Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life in the Balance, A Love Story” reads like a piece of personal history. By incorporating intimate email and text record communiqués, its author Greg Payan chronicles the tragic event that would change his life forever.
At age 39, Payan’s fiancée, Holly, experiences a ruptured brain aneurysm that leads to severe neurological and systemic complications. As Payan explains, a brain bleed is difficult to survive from let alone attain any type of recovery. Their catastrophe is fully laid out and explained at the book’s beginning, however, it is the details and repercussions of the ordeal that make up the story. Author Payan maintains that the notes he received from friends and family were “like oxygen” to him on his most dismal days. Believing these communications to be the backbone of his experience, he uses them as the foundation for a book that proves that it isn’t so much the event that grants us transformation but the journey itself.
Initially, as I skimmed through the pages of Payan’s memoir I anticipated a superficial record of messages from various people associated with the couple. However, this book is more than just a catalog of correspondences. There are photos of Holly appearing throughout the memoir along with copies of handwritten notes that she scribbles while going through her trauma. In addition, there are the words that Payan himself pens.
Right from the start, the author’s dedication and prologue create the heartstrings that bind you to this harrowing journey. Scattered between the emails, texts, medical documents, doctor’s reports and statistics are Payan’s own thoughts, observations and experiences. They provide a critical insight into the emotionality of the situation and lend a chilling reality to the account. As a reader, I felt as though I were a direct witness to the couple’s predicament. While the woman he loves fades in and out of consciousness, Payan is dedicated to keeping her from becoming a clinical number. He continues to hold onto the human connection and what Holly has meant to him and all of the friends and family she has impacted in the past.
This is a story of giving and receiving and how we need that symbiosis to survive. Greg Payan’s book, “Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life in the Balance, A Love Story” is inspiring and would be a healing balm for anyone experiencing a traumatic health event. It is a tale of how the life of just one person can affect so many others. And, it is a reminder that everyday should be lived to the fullest. Payan writes, “If her life was to end at thirty-nine, we had lived every bit of it. We had loved, laughed, eaten, drank, and given all we had to each day and to each other.” By the end of this account, you will feel as though you have gone on a long, significant journey - one that is filled with love, gratitude and hope. It will lift you up and give you faith in human kindness.
Reviewed by Rebecca Pauba for Reader Views (5/18)
In “Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life In the Balance, A Love Story,” Greg Payan describes the journey of enduring a traumatic event with the love of his life. The pages of this book are filled with both heartbreaking and heart lifting medical updates, joyous memories from friends and family, and one woman’s ICU experience from the perspective of her boyfriend. The reader learns the couple’s history of how they came to be, the struggles of both Holly and Greg throughout the ICU stay, recovery, and back to their life before the aneurysm took precedence. Throughout this telling, the reader also learns to love Holly through the many personal stories that Holly’s friends and family shared with Greg in response to his nightly updates about what happened that day with Holly, himself, or both of them.
I loved the real time, day by day, account of what was happening with both Greg and his love, Holly. The only thing I didn’t like about this book was that it ended! I found myself looking forward to each nightly update, just as Holly’s loved ones expressed within this book’s pages. Greg also included medical statistics which prove how much Holly’s story was that of a miracle! I felt like I was witness to the bond that Greg built with Holly’s family and loved ones, bonds that would forever change his relationship with Holly in the future.
Greg Payan creates an emotional attachment from reader to Holly and her progress. He created a page turner with his reality, both the good and the bad. Greg leaves no thought of his unwritten, doesn’t create superficial text, and only his heart is guiding his words throughout this book. “Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life in the Balance, A Love Story” is a book you won’t want to put down, even after you discover Holly’s fate.
“Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life in the Balance, A Love Story” reads like a piece of personal history. By incorporating intimate email and text record communiqués, its author Greg Payan chronicles the tragic event that would change his life forever.
At age 39, Payan’s fiancée, Holly, experiences a ruptured brain aneurysm that leads to severe neurological and systemic complications. As Payan explains, a brain bleed is difficult to survive from let alone attain any type of recovery. Their catastrophe is fully laid out and explained at the book’s beginning, however, it is the details and repercussions of the ordeal that make up the story. Author Payan maintains that the notes he received from friends and family were “like oxygen” to him on his most dismal days. Believing these communications to be the backbone of his experience, he uses them as the foundation for a book that proves that it isn’t so much the event that grants us transformation but the journey itself.
Initially, as I skimmed through the pages of Payan’s memoir I anticipated a superficial record of messages from various people associated with the couple. However, this book is more than just a catalog of correspondences. There are photos of Holly appearing throughout the memoir along with copies of handwritten notes that she scribbles while going through her trauma. In addition, there are the words that Payan himself pens.
Right from the start, the author’s dedication and prologue create the heartstrings that bind you to this harrowing journey. Scattered between the emails, texts, medical documents, doctor’s reports and statistics are Payan’s own thoughts, observations and experiences. They provide a critical insight into the emotionality of the situation and lend a chilling reality to the account. As a reader, I felt as though I were a direct witness to the couple’s predicament. While the woman he loves fades in and out of consciousness, Payan is dedicated to keeping her from becoming a clinical number. He continues to hold onto the human connection and what Holly has meant to him and all of the friends and family she has impacted in the past.
This is a story of giving and receiving and how we need that symbiosis to survive. Greg Payan’s book, “Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life in the Balance, A Love Story” is inspiring and would be a healing balm for anyone experiencing a traumatic health event. It is a tale of how the life of just one person can affect so many others. And, it is a reminder that everyday should be lived to the fullest. Payan writes, “If her life was to end at thirty-nine, we had lived every bit of it. We had loved, laughed, eaten, drank, and given all we had to each day and to each other.” By the end of this account, you will feel as though you have gone on a long, significant journey - one that is filled with love, gratitude and hope. It will lift you up and give you faith in human kindness.
Reviewed by Rebecca Pauba for Reader Views (5/18)
In “Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life In the Balance, A Love Story,” Greg Payan describes the journey of enduring a traumatic event with the love of his life. The pages of this book are filled with both heartbreaking and heart lifting medical updates, joyous memories from friends and family, and one woman’s ICU experience from the perspective of her boyfriend. The reader learns the couple’s history of how they came to be, the struggles of both Holly and Greg throughout the ICU stay, recovery, and back to their life before the aneurysm took precedence. Throughout this telling, the reader also learns to love Holly through the many personal stories that Holly’s friends and family shared with Greg in response to his nightly updates about what happened that day with Holly, himself, or both of them.
I loved the real time, day by day, account of what was happening with both Greg and his love, Holly. The only thing I didn’t like about this book was that it ended! I found myself looking forward to each nightly update, just as Holly’s loved ones expressed within this book’s pages. Greg also included medical statistics which prove how much Holly’s story was that of a miracle! I felt like I was witness to the bond that Greg built with Holly’s family and loved ones, bonds that would forever change his relationship with Holly in the future.
Greg Payan creates an emotional attachment from reader to Holly and her progress. He created a page turner with his reality, both the good and the bad. Greg leaves no thought of his unwritten, doesn’t create superficial text, and only his heart is guiding his words throughout this book. “Please Stay: A Brain Bleed, A Life in the Balance, A Love Story” is a book you won’t want to put down, even after you discover Holly’s fate.
February 7, 2018
Please Stay by Greg Payan is a powerful story, grounded in truth. One of the elements I always appreciate in a nonfiction book, being a visual learner kind of guy, is the use of photographs and images to remind me that what I am reading is true to life. Payan includes such images, and they pair well with the writing.
Payan gives us the details we need to know about the medical aspects of this story, without straying into jargon and diversion. The narrative is human, and captures experience, and that priority is followed through as the story unfolds.
The book also includes dates, letters, lists, and other pieces of life scattered throughout the narrative, often in epistolary fashion. These additional elements add further shading and detail to a story of crisis and hope in a way that brought to mind some of the research I enjoy reading most.
In the final analysis, what I appreciated most about Please Stay is that it is a human story, grounded in honesty, balanced with emotion and detail.
August 18, 2018
I won this giveaway book, so here is my honest review.
I loved it!
Greg's longtime partner, Holly, goes to bed like any other night, but is awoken by a brain bleed. Greg describes the entire journey he has with Holly, from her trip to the hospital, to the ICU, to rehab, and back home. He includes letters and emails from Holly's friends and loved ones, which he reads aloud to Holly while she's in the ICU. He also shared some texts messages he has with Holly sister. Holly's progress, as well as Greg's thoughts and worries, and excellently conveyed. I also enjoyed the photos of Holly, from past trips, to her recovery, that were strategically placed in the book.
It's a wonder and unique read. I would highly recommend it!
I loved it!
Greg's longtime partner, Holly, goes to bed like any other night, but is awoken by a brain bleed. Greg describes the entire journey he has with Holly, from her trip to the hospital, to the ICU, to rehab, and back home. He includes letters and emails from Holly's friends and loved ones, which he reads aloud to Holly while she's in the ICU. He also shared some texts messages he has with Holly sister. Holly's progress, as well as Greg's thoughts and worries, and excellently conveyed. I also enjoyed the photos of Holly, from past trips, to her recovery, that were strategically placed in the book.
It's a wonder and unique read. I would highly recommend it!
July 25, 2018
I absolutely loved this book. I met Holly in Kindergarten. Although I did not know all of the details of her hospital stay I kept her in my prayers. It was great to read this and get all the details of what went on. Greg and Sharley you did an amazing job being there for her!!
July 24, 2019
Captivating
I felt as though I was right beside Greg and Shar... Holly, too. I am appreciative that they let us in to these gut wrenching moments and am hopeful that they all will continue to heal.
I felt as though I was right beside Greg and Shar... Holly, too. I am appreciative that they let us in to these gut wrenching moments and am hopeful that they all will continue to heal.
June 16, 2018
Wonderful read
June 1, 2024
Inspiring
I found this book quite easy to read. The guy is very realistic the entire way through, obviously hoping for the best for his wife but realising that it could have been a completely different outcome But luckily this lady survived! And I hope she's thriving to this day.
Besides the doctors and nurses doing everything well for Holly, the only thing that really upsets me is the part near the end of the book where the doctors think Holly is in denial about her brain injury caused by the brain aneurysm causing all the back pain. to my mind it shows that at least one doctor really didn't care about this lady's prognosis or how she wanted to live her life and I find it quite disgusting. I understand doctors are human too, but to tell someone that they are deliberately lying and looking for attention when they're in obvious pain is horrible. eventually the back pain was discovered as an actual problem and not a psychosomatic condition at all. this is a book review so I can't offer my personal opinion about a couple of these doctors, but let's hope they are not affecting other people as badly as they have affected Holly. As for the rest of the doctors and nurses, good on them, they saved her life! Some things are extremely difficult to diagnose, but as I've gotten older, I've realised that just because something isn't visible doesn't mean it's not a problem. something that hasn't been diagnosed yet is still a problem and will eventually get diagnosed one way or the other. victim blaming isn't going to fix the issue, nor is claiming bad memories as a protective mechanism in the brain, going to fix the issue either. people have no control over what happens after they suffer from a life altering brain condition. some people get relatively well like Holly did, other people don't make it and it's very upsetting to know that. it's okay to accept that certain things can't be explained and some things just haven't been figured out yet. but the best thing we can do in these situations is to go at a steady pace, go with what people are able to accept at the given moment, and see what happens.
What I take away from the book is that people can find a way around almost every inconceivable hardship if they want to. That doesn't mean this is the case with every single individual because nobody is failproof. But Holly had the choice of giving up and letting everybody else work around her and be responsible for her life, or she could make the choice to move on as much as she could and try to get her life back, which she did. Again, I'm not saying everybody has the physical capacity to get their life back. But the fact that Holly's resilience shined through is not only amazing, but does show that at least most of the time, people can make the choice to regain as much of their previous living situation as possible. A positive attitude does make the difference.
I found this book quite easy to read. The guy is very realistic the entire way through, obviously hoping for the best for his wife but realising that it could have been a completely different outcome But luckily this lady survived! And I hope she's thriving to this day.
Besides the doctors and nurses doing everything well for Holly, the only thing that really upsets me is the part near the end of the book where the doctors think Holly is in denial about her brain injury caused by the brain aneurysm causing all the back pain. to my mind it shows that at least one doctor really didn't care about this lady's prognosis or how she wanted to live her life and I find it quite disgusting. I understand doctors are human too, but to tell someone that they are deliberately lying and looking for attention when they're in obvious pain is horrible. eventually the back pain was discovered as an actual problem and not a psychosomatic condition at all. this is a book review so I can't offer my personal opinion about a couple of these doctors, but let's hope they are not affecting other people as badly as they have affected Holly. As for the rest of the doctors and nurses, good on them, they saved her life! Some things are extremely difficult to diagnose, but as I've gotten older, I've realised that just because something isn't visible doesn't mean it's not a problem. something that hasn't been diagnosed yet is still a problem and will eventually get diagnosed one way or the other. victim blaming isn't going to fix the issue, nor is claiming bad memories as a protective mechanism in the brain, going to fix the issue either. people have no control over what happens after they suffer from a life altering brain condition. some people get relatively well like Holly did, other people don't make it and it's very upsetting to know that. it's okay to accept that certain things can't be explained and some things just haven't been figured out yet. but the best thing we can do in these situations is to go at a steady pace, go with what people are able to accept at the given moment, and see what happens.
What I take away from the book is that people can find a way around almost every inconceivable hardship if they want to. That doesn't mean this is the case with every single individual because nobody is failproof. But Holly had the choice of giving up and letting everybody else work around her and be responsible for her life, or she could make the choice to move on as much as she could and try to get her life back, which she did. Again, I'm not saying everybody has the physical capacity to get their life back. But the fact that Holly's resilience shined through is not only amazing, but does show that at least most of the time, people can make the choice to regain as much of their previous living situation as possible. A positive attitude does make the difference.
June 10, 2024
Very Good
Sometimes, one seemingly irrelevant detail, like sleeping late, living or visiting a certain area, deciding to cancel a trip etc, can make such a profound difference in outcome! Many of us read of situations like this about 9/11. For 39 year old healthy and vibrant Holly Hillgardner and her fiance Greg Payan (author of this book) they experienced their own catastrophic trauma where one change MAY have resulted in tragedy.
Holly, an intellectually gifted and esteemed college professor as well as yoga practitioner and instructor, she was in NYC due to fly home to West Virginia in a matter of hours when Greg woke to Holly suffering an intense headache and having unknowingly suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm as she slept, causing serious bleeding and leading to a seizure. Greg summoned an ambulance and followed it and Holly to the hospital where she was quickly transferred to a better equipped hospital, into surgery and the ICU that helped save her life. Brain aneurysms that rupture and are Grade IV are often deadly and on the off chance someone survives, they are left with major deficits that may leave them wishing they hadn't!
As Greg and Holly's sister Sharley sat vigil in shifts, Greg had the idea to send out an email to all their friends and family not only to keep them updated but also to ask them to email back and include a note saying something about what Holly means to them as a friend, mentor, coworker, former student etc. He wanted to be able to read them to her here and there when the time was right so no matter her mental state or complete awareness, the words of loved ones would encourage and sustain her as well as their prayers, photos etc. Holly stunned everyone with not only her survival but her progress so soon after the rupture. Though ultimately requiring some rehab in another facility, she fought tenaciously to get back to herself, to Greg, her sister and, ultimately to her career and academia.
The toll it took on the author and fiance, Greg (as well as Holly's sister Sharley) in a sense was just as if not more concerning. I hope and pray that Greg can recover his sense of well-being and peace, his ability to relax and trust that even in West Virginia where Holly is during the week, she will be fine and that worrying or obsessing about it is NOT going to change things for the better but COULD ultimately make things harder for both. I recommend EMDR therapy for Greg. I truly think it will ease or erase that residual trauma he experiences!
This book is well written -- I noticed just one mistake the editor missed where a couple words were repeated twice. This was nearing the end and was easily overlooked by this reader. I'd recommend the book!
Sometimes, one seemingly irrelevant detail, like sleeping late, living or visiting a certain area, deciding to cancel a trip etc, can make such a profound difference in outcome! Many of us read of situations like this about 9/11. For 39 year old healthy and vibrant Holly Hillgardner and her fiance Greg Payan (author of this book) they experienced their own catastrophic trauma where one change MAY have resulted in tragedy.
Holly, an intellectually gifted and esteemed college professor as well as yoga practitioner and instructor, she was in NYC due to fly home to West Virginia in a matter of hours when Greg woke to Holly suffering an intense headache and having unknowingly suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm as she slept, causing serious bleeding and leading to a seizure. Greg summoned an ambulance and followed it and Holly to the hospital where she was quickly transferred to a better equipped hospital, into surgery and the ICU that helped save her life. Brain aneurysms that rupture and are Grade IV are often deadly and on the off chance someone survives, they are left with major deficits that may leave them wishing they hadn't!
As Greg and Holly's sister Sharley sat vigil in shifts, Greg had the idea to send out an email to all their friends and family not only to keep them updated but also to ask them to email back and include a note saying something about what Holly means to them as a friend, mentor, coworker, former student etc. He wanted to be able to read them to her here and there when the time was right so no matter her mental state or complete awareness, the words of loved ones would encourage and sustain her as well as their prayers, photos etc. Holly stunned everyone with not only her survival but her progress so soon after the rupture. Though ultimately requiring some rehab in another facility, she fought tenaciously to get back to herself, to Greg, her sister and, ultimately to her career and academia.
The toll it took on the author and fiance, Greg (as well as Holly's sister Sharley) in a sense was just as if not more concerning. I hope and pray that Greg can recover his sense of well-being and peace, his ability to relax and trust that even in West Virginia where Holly is during the week, she will be fine and that worrying or obsessing about it is NOT going to change things for the better but COULD ultimately make things harder for both. I recommend EMDR therapy for Greg. I truly think it will ease or erase that residual trauma he experiences!
This book is well written -- I noticed just one mistake the editor missed where a couple words were repeated twice. This was nearing the end and was easily overlooked by this reader. I'd recommend the book!
May 30, 2022
Emotionally captivating
Wow. Right from the start, the author lets us in on such a personal and emotional journey. As a healthcare worker (rehab therapist) it is truly eye opening to hear what this whole experience was like from a close family member's perspective. It is devastating, raw, emotional, full of fear and uncertainty. So many times, I just wanted to reach through the screen (kindle book) and give him a hug. He immediately takes on the role of Holly's primary health care contact, and is by her side practically the whole time she is in the ICU and in rehab. The many notes and emails from family and friends throughout are encouraging as well. Thank you for sharing your story, Greg. Your love and support for Holly are amazing and unshakeable. Hope things continue to go well for you and Holly, and may you both live every day to the fullest!
Wow. Right from the start, the author lets us in on such a personal and emotional journey. As a healthcare worker (rehab therapist) it is truly eye opening to hear what this whole experience was like from a close family member's perspective. It is devastating, raw, emotional, full of fear and uncertainty. So many times, I just wanted to reach through the screen (kindle book) and give him a hug. He immediately takes on the role of Holly's primary health care contact, and is by her side practically the whole time she is in the ICU and in rehab. The many notes and emails from family and friends throughout are encouraging as well. Thank you for sharing your story, Greg. Your love and support for Holly are amazing and unshakeable. Hope things continue to go well for you and Holly, and may you both live every day to the fullest!
May 1, 2025
Happy that Holly made a miraculous and pretty much full recovery despite all odds, but overall I didn’t like this book. The emails from Holly’s friends/colleagues/students etc were excessive, and easily skimmable if not entirely skippable. The text messages between Greg and Sharl were interesting enough, but got a bit excessive with mundane, meaningless responses. The email updates from Greg were good summaries and engaging, but felt really disjointed with the diary entries where Greg was essentially whining that he might have to care for someone whose main deficit (if recovery continued smoothly) would seem to be minor cognitive deficits. The anxiety ridden PTSD trauma-dump at the end was a bit tiring, I have empathy for Greg with having his wife nearly die in his arms, but dude, go see a therapist, yeah? Overall disappointing at a medical memoir.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 24, 2021
Surviving against all the odds
Greg Payan's wife Holly had a burst and should not have lived or if she did, should have.lived an impaired life. However, in the end all was well but the horror she and Greg endured make for harrowing reading.
In some ways it is odd how naive such obviously intelligent people were. Holly's recovery rate was unfeasibly swift. Greg is surprised that he still lives with anxiety. How could it be otherwise? Living with a recovering alcoholic I know that I am forever anxious if anything is the slightest bit out of the ordinary. How much worse must it be if your wife has so nearly died?
This is a salutary reminder never to take anything for granted.
Greg Payan's wife Holly had a burst and should not have lived or if she did, should have.lived an impaired life. However, in the end all was well but the horror she and Greg endured make for harrowing reading.
In some ways it is odd how naive such obviously intelligent people were. Holly's recovery rate was unfeasibly swift. Greg is surprised that he still lives with anxiety. How could it be otherwise? Living with a recovering alcoholic I know that I am forever anxious if anything is the slightest bit out of the ordinary. How much worse must it be if your wife has so nearly died?
This is a salutary reminder never to take anything for granted.
September 19, 2022
I found this book interesting, and it was a pleasure to get to know Holly from so many people's eyes. I also found the inclusion of medical records to be fascinating and a unique aspect of the book.
Greg Payan is a great writer, and I thoroughly enjoyed the prologue and epilogue he wrote for the book, but I wish more of the book contained his writing. Instead, most of the story is written through text message excerpts between Greg and his sister-in-law, and through email changes from countless people. This really made the memoir a little difficult for me to get into, and I think it was excessive.
That said, I'd love to read more of Payan's writing, and would definitely read a follow-up memoir to this. It would be great to find out more about Holly's long-term journey to recovery!
Greg Payan is a great writer, and I thoroughly enjoyed the prologue and epilogue he wrote for the book, but I wish more of the book contained his writing. Instead, most of the story is written through text message excerpts between Greg and his sister-in-law, and through email changes from countless people. This really made the memoir a little difficult for me to get into, and I think it was excessive.
That said, I'd love to read more of Payan's writing, and would definitely read a follow-up memoir to this. It would be great to find out more about Holly's long-term journey to recovery!
September 2, 2019
If you know me you know already that I had an aneurysm at 23 yrs old. I stll live with disabilities at 65. Why do I read these books? Don't know. Holly in the book had an aneurysm rupture. The story was so close to my story that I wondered sometimes if they knew me. Holly wasn't paralyzed as I was on my left side. If you like reading medical jargon you will like this book. I say like because it was mostly wrote in emails that Greg (her boyfriend) received while Holly was in the hospital and later rehab. That is why I gave it only 3 stars. I thought about quitting the book but, I very seldom quit a book and I was also interested to see if she made it and if she had any lasting disabilities.
November 21, 2023
Unfortunately I didn’t care for how this book was presented and ended up DNF. Mostly compromised of emails back and forth from family and friends, etc. It made the reading experience a challenge and not enjoyable for me. Too bad because my main interest is true medical stories.
August 12, 2022
fair
I would have preferred all first person- diary entree were laborious and repetitive.
Insightful story of a familY’s pain, suffering and jubilation.
I would have preferred all first person- diary entree were laborious and repetitive.
Insightful story of a familY’s pain, suffering and jubilation.
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