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130 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 11, 2018
I read this passage over and over. It still seems to me a fresh and useful description of what poetry (“sound-colored secrets”) can do and why we read and need it (“proof against our fear of emptiness”). It is also a beautiful—and, I think accurate—description of what an experience of God can be and do in our lives… It’s also why poetry is so important in the world, even if few people read it. Its truth is irreducible, inexhaustible, atomic; its existence as natural and necessary as a stand of old-growth trees so far in the Arctic that only an oil company would ever see it…This resonates deeply with me as I experience daily the tension between my desire to create and my sense of inadequacy as a writer, amidst a renewal of my Christian faith.
The real issue, for anyone who suffers the silences of God and seeks real redemption, is that art is not enough. Those sorts of time are not enough to hang a life on. At some point you need a universally redemptive activity. You need grace that has nothing to do with your own efforts, for at some point—whether because of disease or despair, exhaustion or loss—you will have no efforts left to make.
I don't really believe in atheists. Nor in true believers, for that matter. One either lives toward God or not. The word God is of course an abyss, bright or dark depending on the day. But there is no middle ground, no cautious agnosticism in which to settle, no spiritual indifference that is not, even when accompanied by high refinement and exquisite intelligence, torpor. I know the necessity of religion. I know the need for communal ritual and meaningful creeds. And yet I know, too, that all of this emerges from an intuition so original that, in some ultimate sense, to define is to defile. One either lives toward God or not.