Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage

by Kay Bratt

When her family relocated to rural China in 2003, Kay Bratt was thrust into a new world, one where boys were considered more valuable than girls and poverty and the one-child policy had created an epidemic of abandoned infants. As a volunteer at a local orphanage, Bratt witnessed conditions that were unfathomable to a middle-class mother of two from South Carolina.

Based on Bratt's diary of her four years at the orphanage, Silent Tears offers a searing account of young lives rendered disposable. In the face of an implacable system, Bratt found ways to work within (and around) the rules to make a better future for the children, whom she came to love. The book offers no easy answers. While often painful in its clear-sightedness, Silent Tears balances the sadness and struggles of life in the orphanage with moments of joy, optimism, faith, and victory. It is the story of hundreds of children and of one woman who never planned on becoming a hero but became one anyway.

Genres: Nonfiction, China, Adoption, Memoir, Asia, Biography, Biography Memoir

430 pages, Paperback

First published July 3, 2008

About the author

Writer, Rescuer, Wanderer


Kay Bratt is the powerhouse author behind 40 internationally bestselling books that span genres from mystery and women’s fiction to memoir and historical fiction. Her books are renowned for delivering an emotional wallop wrapped in gripping storylines. Her Hart's Ridge small-town mystery series earned her the coveted title of Amazon All Star Author and continues to be one of her most successful projects out of her more than two million books sold around the world.


Kay's literary works have sparked lively book club discussions wide-reaching, with her works translated into multiple languages, including German, Korean, Chinese, Hungarian, Czech, and Estonian. 


Beyond her writing, Kay passionately dedicates herself to rescue missions, championing animal welfare as the former Director of Advocacy for Yorkie Rescue of the Carolinas. She considers herself a lifelong advocate for children, having volunteered extensively in a Chinese orphanage and supported nonprofit organizations like An Orphan's Wish (AOW), Pearl River Outreach, and Love Without Boundaries.

In the USA, Kay served as a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for abused and neglected children in Georgia, as well as spearheaded numerous outreach programs for underprivileged kids in South Carolina. Most recently Kay spent a year volunteering as a Hospice volunteer.


As a wanderlust-driven soul, Kay has called nearly three dozen different homes on two continents her own. Her globetrotting adventures have taken her to captivating destinations across Mexico, Thailand, Malaysia, China, the Philippines, Central America, the Bahamas, and Australia. Today, she and her soulmate of more than 30 years find their sanctuary in St. Augustine, Florida.


Described as southern, spicy, and a touch sassy, Kay loves to share her life's antics with the Bratt Pack on social media. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to join the fun and buckle up for the ride of a lifetime. Explore her popular catalog of published works at Kay Bratt Dot-Com and never miss a new release (or her latest Bratt Pack drama) by signing up for her monthly email newsletter. 
For more information, visit www.kaybratt.com.


Reviews

[Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was another Kindle Unlimited audio. I've really been enjoying my "free" audios lately.

I had listened to about half the book before I read some of the reviews. I probably should not have read the reviews! Up to that point, I was listening with my whole heart to Kay Bratt's experience volunteering in a Chinese orphanage. It was written (and narrated) in a journal-type style, and some some of thoughts were scattered, but for the most part it seemed organized. Much of what Kay witnessed was heartbreaking. She made a note at the end of the book that this was her experience at one orphanage, and this was not meant to represent what all orphanages are like in China.

What I found particularly heartbreaking was the treatment of children with disabilities, but there were many things in this book that were heartbreaking. It is a tough read. That said, there are also specific children discussed who had happy outcomes, and there were updates on some of those children at the end of the book.

All in all, I found this a worthwhile read, but I understand that the difficult subject matter won't be for everyone.

[Caroline · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave this a one star.
Wish I could give it less.
I am only on page 401 of 4655 of this ebook.
Why? Prepare for my rant:

I don't like the author. At all. Some white woman coming to a foreign non-white country expecting a silver spoon, expecting everyone to make her feel like she is back in the US. Fuck you, lady.

Thought it was interesting how she never mentioned having a bad back during the 21hr plane trip, the 2 uncomfortable hotel stays. Until we get to the housekeeper. She'd rather do her cooking and cleaning, but oh her back, let the Chinese maid scrub the floors. She feels so uncomfortable around the maid she tries to avoid being in the room with her. Yet she is lonely. Gee I wonder why? Your high horse- get off it.

I was officially DONE on page 401 with the sentence [We had only been in China for a few months and I was miserable, but I did not want to return to "civilization" without my husband.]

a DECENT person would have said return HOME. But she doesn't come from the decent kind I don't think.

As a minority, I have heard white people utter this phrase one too many times. And I know EXACTLY what they intend to say when they say it. Like they are out in the middle of a gotdamn primordial jungle instead of around other human beings. Human beings that might be the coolest SOBs they'd ever met, if they'd give them a gotdamn chance. And it has hit a serious nerve. This no account woman has a mansion with a chauffeur and a maid. None of which she had at home, yet China is uncivilized? The US owes China how many billions of dollars? Most of the shit we have is made in China. They are excelling in math and science, yet they are uncivilized. Middle. Finger.

I wish I could get my money back I spent on this book. I knew I should have bought Before We Were Free. When I read that sentence I wanted to throw my Kindle Fire against a wall. Then I remember it wasn't a paper back and it cost too much to break because I'm throwing a hissy. But if it were a paper back, it'd be fodder for my bunny fur-son.

[Diem · Rating 3 out of 5]

This going to be a tough read. Because of the excruciating subject matter? No. Because the author is annoying and unskilled? Yes.

I'm not the PC sort and I laugh in the face of tolerance but this depiction of China and its people says more about the writer than it does about the culture of which she writes. She hasn't had a nice thing to say about anyone since the plane landed. She even seems upset when they speak to her in Chinese at the Chinese fast food restaurant. In China. She even insists that her blonde hair should have been an automatic sign for them to speak to her more slowly and less Chinesely.

She mocks the outfit of a fellow volunteer for being too stylish and takes a dig at her for being physically fit. This is like being at a play group and getting trapped next to the mom who is so relentlessly gossipy and negative that you almost regret everything you ever did to bring you to that moment in your life. Including having the kids. It's just like that only you then realize that you paid $8 for the privilege which will compel you to finish the book.

I can't even begin to speak to the writing.


********************************

Update: Around chapter 16 an abrupt change occurs. The author goes from fiercely jingoistic to...something else. Sympathetic to the harsh circumstances that have shaped the lives of the people around her. Understanding of the difficult task of dividing this many adults among THIS MANY needy, helpless children. Appreciative of the differences between Chinese and American culture in a less judgmental, knee-jerk fashion. If I had known that I was going to be led through her "evolution" in such a manner would have made her earlier behavior more tolerable but the surprising transformation would have been less profound.

She is not a highly skilled writer. She doesn't craft her story the way some authors can but she employs an interesting literary device, intentionally or not, and she does tell a compelling story. She is also fiercely dedicated to these children, as she reminds you repeatedly until you almost can't stand it but for which you forgive her because, damn, it just could not have been easy to work there.

********************************
Final Analysis:

Despite some promising revelations in the middle part of the book the author eventually reverts back to her sense of victimhood and imagines every offhanded comment or look to be a slight of some nature. Her attitude toward China and the Chinese people is altered but her default is always to mistrust them and question their motives. I never could get used to the random sprinkling of her family issues intertwined with the stories from the orphanage. They are unrelated and often uncomfortably intimate.

None of which detracts from the enormous effort she seems to have put into the lives of these children. I'm even for giving the devil his due and this if Bratt's work is accurately chronicled here she's a lot closer to angel than I'll ever be. A somewhat self-pitying, annoying angel perhaps but it takes all kinds.

Ultimately the book leaves you with more questions than answer but the questions open a dialogue that could improve the lives of thousands of children so the book for all its flaw does serve a noble purpose.

[Courtney Jimmie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The writing is bad; no one can say otherwise. In fact, it seems that the author compiled blog posts/journal entries without editing them for focus. That is the smallest of this books problems, though.

This book is NOT about orphanages nor about orphans. This book is about a self-important woman going on and on about herself. Granted, it's commendable that she volunteered at an orphanage, but the book reads like, "Look at me! I'm doing volunteer work! Aren't I wonderful and selfless?" Again, this isn't even the worst part of the book.
Throughout the book, the author makes it no secret that she disliked China and Chinese culture. (I'm not sure that she even liked the people!) Most of the Chinese people that she mentions could easily be considered villains when compared to the way that she describes herself and the other foreign volunteers: Oh, such Saints!

She harshly judges the workers without really trying to empathize with them. Yes, a lot of what she saw was inhumane, cruel, etc. when viewed from the lens of a privileged white woman who only works there once or twice a week for a few hours. This book is essentially an opinion piece. She described events that happened, but is not shy about judging anything un-American. Once or twice, she admitted that a few things the ayis do, which she once thought was cruel, actually served a purpose. (Note: She failed to point out that her realization, at least once, came after she went behind their backs to intervene and found that she was the one in the wrong.)

On top of all this, the author only talked of showing the children affection and kindness at the beginning of the book. By the end, she had made a pet of a certain child; taking her home on weekends (initially, it was to get her ready for surgery, but became a regular vacation away from the orphanage), giving her potato chips & fast food, buying her clothes and shoes apart from the other children, making it known at the orphanage that the child was her favorite. And she had the gall to repeatedly question whether this was right or wrong. With the orphanage repeatedly saying that the child couldn't be adopted, I definitely think it was cruel to show her the kind of life that she may never have! I think that this may have been the cruelest and saddest part of the entire book: a woman comes to China, takes a child into her home treating her as if she were her own (but only for the weekend), spoils her, and eventually returns to the US for good; leaving the child behind in the orphanage.

I just kept wondering what that girl must have been thinking. A family lets you stay with them, but never keeps you. Is it because you're not good enough? Do they not love you enough? Did you do something wrong?

I don't doubt that Kay Bratt did a lot of good at that orphanage, but I think that instead of patting herself on the back, she ought to take a moment to think about the damage she may have done. This book would've been better if it were an honest view of the situation with some consideration of perspectives other than just her own.

[Kelli Oliver George · Rating 1 out of 5]

A few chapters into this and it officially became a Hate Read. Was this author self-published? I personally know AMAZING authors struggling to get published, yet this horrible dreck seemingly passed off as a BOOK oddly got published. What the hell??

I was hoping to get a sensitive, thoughtful analysis of the situation in Chinese orphanages. What I got instead was an author so self-absorbed she seemed to have forgotten that she was in CHINA, a Communist country with a population of over a billion people. A country that has a long history of struggling to meet the demands and food supply needs of its immense population.

Throughout the entire book the author displayed the White American Savior attitude so prevalent these days. SHE was going to save those kids because apparently no one else cared about them. And time, after time, she put down the Chinese people while sneeringly commenting about how she couldn't understand how they could just give their children up. Hmmmm, maybe because they are desperate? Maybe because their country limited them to ONE child and having a boy is important because that is their retirement? (like it or not.)

The constant cultural generalizations grated endlessly. Her constant pronouncements as something "being the Chinese way" got old by the 2nd chapter. (Yes, it seems that folks like Tilly were nasty individuals. Newflash for you, Kay. There are sucky people everywhere.)

How ironic that the author's last name matched much of her attitude toward Chinese culture and many other things that she simply did not understand. Did she even consider that folks living in destitution simply do not have the privilege of doing things "just right" and that folks living in desperate times, DO DESPERATE things. Her complete lack of consideration of the struggles that Chinese people go through, much less what the country is going through rendered anything else she had to say as useless.

Her inept distillation of population over a billion people into this small, trite book was astounding.

[Jade C · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was very excited to read this book after reading "messages from an unknown Chinese mother" because it gave me great closure being adopted from china around the same time some of her comments took place. However I was greatly disappointed to read this book ( and by read I mean struggle to read past the first five chapters without wanting to throw this book out the window) and find that it was the whining diarys of a middle class white woman.

I really hate being such a bum in my review but this was terrible writing. I got the sense that she was putting herself on a high horse for helping out and saying that she "understood" what the people where going through, yet she keeps a house maid and live a very rich life there. She then goes on to criticize most of the orphanages nannies. In MY experience the nannies were the nicest women and truly cared about me and my fellow adoptees. Her writing makes it sound like she was desperate for us to think "wow she save the fricken world". I wasted my one library request on this book.

I'm sorry I trolled on goodreads but this book honestly pissed me off. Maybe if I had read more it would have redeemed itself, but I just couldn't stand another second. Sorry.

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm hesitant to use a pop culture term, but it's what immediately comes to mind - this book in deeply rooted in a "first world problems" perspective. Although I enjoyed the sections that focused on the orphanage, the author's ego got in the way of the book as a whole. She clearly considers upper-middle class American culture to be vastly superior to Chinese culture and makes no effort to hide it, and it takes over the narrative. I selected the book as my Amazon library pick for August - thank goodness I didn't waste any money on this tribute to one woman's close mindedness.

[Sara_2 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Occasional interesting glimpses of orphanage life are present in this book - but difficult to find amidst her proclamations of how only her volunteers show the babies any tenderness, and where would everyone be without her?

I have seldom been so offended by the point of view from which a book was written. I plan to return my copy.

I believe this falls in the category of "Great White Hope" literature.

[Michelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

The living conditions are truly abhorrent in at least one Chinese orphanage. However, as much good as the author did in volunteering her time, acquiring badly-needed supplies for the children, and convincing others to volunteer, I got the following impressions of the author:

* She did not seem to make a single Chinese friend during the years she was there, instead predominantly interacting with those in her expatriate community.
* She repeatedly mentioned her "passion" with working with children (if you have a passion for something, it should be apparent in your actions, and should not necessarily be something you feel compelled to repeat); this became tiresome.
* She was dismissive of the local population, either consistently having something detrimental to say, or noting the "poor old country woman who did not know any better."
* She did not take care of herself (having gone back to the States, she received a diagnosis that warranted medication/pain pills, which of course she refused to take, for no discernible reason).
* She noted the Westernization of Beijing - a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there, apparently - but was apparently relieved when more Western-style restaurants opened up in her neighborhood.
* She did not seem to like any actual Chinese food (nor did she seem interested in even trying any, dismissing using chopsticks and just waiting for the rice to show up).
* She repeatedly remarked on the "chaos" of living in China, to the extent that one might get the impression that she is not good at handling any level of disorder.

I got tired of her stories pretty quickly, not because the story itself was not worth telling, but because her stories were effectively a variation of the same story, told the same way, with identical reactions. I'd be as curious as to the development of the culture that led to an acceptable treatment of these orphans; there was no real examination or interest of culture by the author anywhere throughout the memoir.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This kindle book was on sale and I was interested in the subject so I bought it despite reading reviews that the author is really annoying. And YES she is really annoying and unaware of her privileged status. (An example is that at one point she mentions a Chinese nanny earns four dollars a day. Later the author goes shopping and buys some fruit and vegetables and feels it is a great deal at less than two dollars. HELLO, do the math. Those purchases are almost equivalent to half a nanny's daily wages.)

However, even though the author is VERY annoying, I do think she speaks the truth about what she sees at the orphanage she volunteered. (I think she volunteered two hours a week caring for babies.) It is important to hear how horrible those children have it. And if you are considering adopting from China, this is a book you probably should read.

Editted to add: As I think about it, "annoying" may be a little harsh. The author seems like a caring person, but she is annoying in the way so many people are when they live in another country, especially an incredibly wealthy person in a poor country.
I wish she would have given more background information in this book. She criticizes some Chinese nannies beause they treat the children poorly--yet doesn't provide any reasons why. Could it be because a nanny makes a measly four dollars a day? Could it be because they are overworked and underappreciated? (It is obvious that they are.) Could they be resentful beause the rich volunteers can afford to bring cookies and chips to the children, and afford to work there only two hours a week?
And I was left wondering other things: In a country that is supposed to be the next superpower that is taking over America, how could their system be so broken?

[Helen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some painful and touching glimpses of a Chinese orphanage from the inside, buried in haystacks of mundane details of a American trying to live like an American in China. It's a vanity press book and the names and places have all been obscured, so there is no way of verifying the story in any way, which means it could be pure fiction...

[Jen from Quebec :0) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh- does a good deed still count as a good deed when you write an entire book about it, patting your own back THIS MUCH in the writing? This author is almost insufferable. Worst of all, her writing is not even great. This COULD have been an uplifting read, but instead- it pissed me off! I only finished it to get through a reading challenge requirement. --Jen from Quebec :0)

[Marcy · Rating 5 out of 5]

First timers to a Chinese orphanage have the same questions: "Why do babies share bottles when they are sick? Why are the toddlers using the same spoons? Why aren't there any toys to play with? Why do the ayis refuse to show compassion?" Kay Bratt had the same questions when she began to volunteer at the orphanage. She learned that her role was giving love and compassion to the babies and toddlers. The orphanage was bleak and dirty. Babies lived in cribs most of the time with fevers, wearing soiled diapers, living with bed bugs and heat rashes. Toddlers did not have toys and were expected to sit quietly most of the day.

These babies and toddlers were abandoned. Some were abandoned because they were born as girls instead of boys, some had disabilities or health issues that were looked down upon by the Chinese culture. Kay Bratt spent days in the orphanage, biting her tongue when caretakers were abusive and babies were being bathed in cold water and left to starve because babies with cleft palettes could not suck on the bottles. Depression overtook her, but she continued to get out of bed to try and change these orphans' lives, one by one. Kay began to ask for donations from overseas and tackled the Chinese bureaucracy red tape in order to help some of the orphans receive medical care: operations for Spinal Bifida and heart defects, and find permanent homes for them. The children in the orphanage were taken very good care of when the media would come for pictures and interviews. Life would return back to normal the next day...Many children died... This story is heartbreaking. Chinese orphanages have gotten somewhat better since Kay was a volunteer there, but they have a long way to go....

[Evlyn Vander Vliet · Rating 1 out of 5]

After now finishing "Wish You Happy Forever" by Jenny Bowen, I'm changing my 3 star rating of "Silent Tears" to 1 star, mainly due to my disgust with Kay Bratt.

If you've read "Silent Tears," please go NOW and read Jenny Bowen's much more inspiring account of how she saw a need within China's orphanages and actually reached across cultures to do something about it, instead of simply whining and blaming the Chinese, to finally give up and go home (as Kay Bratt did).

I understand not all of us (certainly not me) have the energy to start a non-profit foundation to revolutionize China's child welfare system, as Kay Bratt clearly didn't. But what I can't stand is her inability to escape her American superiority complex. In the years she lived in China, she never once made a Chinese friend, never made any effort to build any connections within their culture, and only ever pointed her finger at them and their perceived ineptitude.

Seriously, spare yourself the self-righteous whining and put Silent Tears down. Just go read Wish You Happy Forever.

[Aja: The Narcoleptic Ninja · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book covers a serious topic that really should be discussed, so it’s unfortunate that the author and narrator of this book is so damn insufferable that it makes me NOT want to read it. From the start of this book the author makes it very clear that this memoir is really one big self-pat on the back while she strives to reach brilliant new levels on condescension and xenophobia. She even STARTS the book by saying “we live in relative comfort, far removed from such horrors and perhaps perhaps feeling we are doing our part to help suffering children by sending an annual tax-deductible check to some charitable organization.” Now granted, I’m no expert on non-profits, but I’m pretty sure that’s NOT the way to get people to donate. And in true narcissistic fashion, she goes on to say, that’s not a bad thing to do, but she did MORE than that.

Throughout the book, she constantly speaks of Chinese people as though they are somehow lesser than her. Occasionally, she tries to qualify her thoughts by saying “but it’s okay, they’re from another culture” and then turns around and says things like “but they don’t know any better,” or “they want to be just like us,” and “we need to help teach them with leadership and guidance.” Even when she discovers their reasoning for doing things a certain way, she still stubbornly maintains that she’s right about everything and they just don’t understand things as well as she does. She claims that she adjusted to life in China and started embracing the culture, while… never trying new foods, never speaking to anyone outside of her expat community, and continuously doing things that she knew was offensive. The one that sticks out the most in my mind was going with her husband to a company dinner. Halfway through the evening she stormed out and said that he could either go back in alone or leave with her to go home. He explained that it was impolite for him to leave early and he might upset people, but it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to return without her, and instead of dealing with ONE NIGHT, she complained that he was being mean to her because it was loud and people were drunk and there was too much smoke and she made him go home even though the entire reason they had gone to China in the first place was because of his job.

On top of all of this, her pacing for telling this story was very… odd. All the way up until the end of the book she talks about the squalor of the orphanage, how terrible and incompetent the workers are, etc. She says it over and over and over again that even though every change and donation she makes is a fight, her passion keeps her going, her passion won’t allow her to give up the fight. And then suddenly in the last chapter, the orphanage has made a complete transformation, it’s painted and has loads of new supplies, the staff are friendlier and nicer with the children and she’s leaving her position because she’s become too jaded to continue.

I got this book on Amazon during a Kindle sale for 99 cents. I toyed with the idea of maybe returning it and ultimately decided against it because I would just be getting 99 cents back. So no, I wouldn’t recommend it. Not even on sale was this a worthwhile book. The actual subject deserves some recognition, but I’m sure there are better books to cover it. Another reviewer has recommended a book “Wish You Happy Forever” by Jenny Bowen and I look forward to trying that one in the future and leaving this mess of a book behind me.

[wally · Rating 3 out of 5]

22 jul 16,1st from bratt for me. musta been one of those advertising pages on the kindle...you open the kindle up, turn it on, there it is, something like that. looked like a possible, cover, title, so i took a chance. change of pace.
onward, ever onward.

25 jul 16, finished.

ummm.
reading this, i wondered why the author never once considered the perceived hostility from the orphanage workers, other than to recognize there was hostility. why? the author was able to leave china numerous times, vacation in thailand, fly back and forth to the states. the workers? okay, so maybe they didn't have the hallowed union to see after their needs. but here we had someone who had the luxury to volunteer--her other needs were met--clothing, housing, food, family. the workers?

and no doubt there was, as the author indicated, the perception on the part of the workers that they were being criticized. the author uses the phrase "third world country"...not once, not twice, but at least three times. china existed when columbus stumbled on america trying to find a route to china and india. third world? so, what? is it new world, old world, third world? connotations of colonialism, connotations of "i am right because i have more money and money makes might and might makes right". so, yeah, no doubt hostility.

but the author never approaches anything that could be considered movement past that...not much in the way of give-and-take. other than giving up to the rules and regulations set in place.

and i thought about this country. in this country we abort millions. what is it? 30 million since the hallowed day, baby? you've come a long way? baby

i wonder what the status of abortion is in china? perhaps they also sell baby hearts, livers, lungs, and the oh so valuable baby brains, as we do. third world?

much of what is described is horrible, dreadful, depressing. and no doubt honestly described.

it'll all come out in the wash.

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh, I can't explain how irritated I was reading this book. One of the most annoying things the author chose to do was to write about happy things or things that she got something out of in the first person singular using "I", however, if a child "went missing" aka died (even though for some reason the author likes to put in alot of suspension of disbelief and thinks they went somewhere else other than the orphanage) she would talk in third person plural using "we." It made the book feel disingenuous. Also, alot of the book was basically about not respecting Chinese culture or practices (which she even says during the fancy dinner that she was invited to but made her husband leave after 2 hours), and alot of blaming the ayi's and Chinese culture for being what she seems to make them out as terrible human beings while the volunteers or the foreigners were so much smarter and better than the Chinese caretakers and would swoop in and save the day. This was especially annoying about this book. While I realize that maybe Chinese orphanages are terrible places for children to grow up, especially from the way that the author of this book talks about them, the author never took any time to get to know the culture or get to know any of the reasons for this behavior from the adults who have those traditions and feelings deeply rooted in their culture. She is also quick to point out which people in the book are "Christians" lifting them up to a higher level than those other volunteers that aren't specifically Christian and especially portraying them as much better than the Chinese caretakers. The only part of this book that helped me to even understand maybe the audience that this is directed to were the letters to the author at the end of the book, but again it was clear that she had picked even those based on who she determined to be "good Christians" and were raising their adopted Chinese children to be as well.

[Lori Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband and I considered adoption from a Korean or Chinese orphanage and had heard a lot about the neglect that was prevalent there. I accidentally ran across this memoir by Kay Bratt and learned a lot.

Kay followed her husband to China with her young daughter and while her husband worked at setting up a new facility for his work in China, Kay threw herself into working to bring about change in a Chinese orphanage.

One thing Kay emphasized -- don't go into a Chinese orphanage going gangbusters and expect things to work. They'll bar you from coming back. Rather, volunteer, keep quiet, and let the nannies get to know you.

I also realized that a lot of the neglect has to do with not enough nannies per baby. There never seemed to be enough time in the day between rapid feedings, quick cold rinse-offs, changing diapers, and dressing the children. Imagine two people trying to deal with 22 babies -- that gives you some idea.

Eventually, Bratt was able to start a fund-raising campaign in the US to help severely hurt children get operations (for cleft lip/palette and heart problems, predominantly). The book showed the massive amounts of red tape involved in what we as Americans would consider a no-brainer.

I came out of this book with not only an appreciation for all the expat volunteers, but for the Chinese nannies as well. The majority of them want to help -- they just can't.

A quick read, and worthwhile.


Lori Anderson


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[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I admire Kay for getting up and actually doing something and bringing these horrors to my attention I didnt really like the book and it became a chore to finish. The decision to go to China was very hurriedly dealt with and for such a big move they seemed poorly prepared.

The book starts with promise with a chinese woman abandoning her baby near the orphanage. However the rest of the book is a diary format of Kay's time in China and it became boring and repetitive. I was uneasy hoping to read more of the horrors just to liven it up a bit. I think the book would have been improved if her diary was just used for reference and an actual story emerged.

Alternate chaptors between Kay, Ben, Amanda and Heather would have added a great deal of insight into how this affected everyone. For me Ben's experience was missing from this book who surely must have encountered much red tape and cultural difficulties setting up the new manufacturing facility. I think together as a family they had a great story to tell.

There is a web site given at the end of the book for readers who want to help raise awareness but somehow this doesnt seem enough. Do any of the proceeds from the sale of the book go to the orphanage, I think this needs to be made clearer, I assume as with her website her purpose is to raise awareness and I wish her every success with that.

[Larry Bassett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have just finished reading this book for the second time this time through the audible format. I found this book filled with experiences that I could easily identify with because of my experience adopting A Chinese girl child who was born at about the time this author was volunteering at an orphanage in China.

The book shares the experience of a western white woman Who found herself in an eastern culture and who found herself over time a much changed and more sensitive and aware person.

[Selfisher · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I can give it less than 1 star.And I wish I had never read this book. All this book is about the author's hate to China, and she describe herself as a saint, every Chinese she met is disgusting, and what she need to do is save every life in China. --Thank you , Chinese people don't need a white woman like you , you can get back to your own "civilization".

[OjoAusana · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars

2 stars for the story itself, thought this story would have ended differently (from the description) but can't choose endings for real life 🤷 wasnt a huge fan of the letters at the end tho some of them sure had a "white saviour" kinda feel going on . It was just a really odd read tbh.

[Sylvia Dominick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review of SILENT TEARS

SILENT TEARS by Kay Bratt has brought an entirely different
dimension to my personal world, as well as a new, perspective on the many layers of human kindness to an author for whom I have the utmost respect, and admiration. I wasn't sure when I started this book if I would be able to finish it! So much sadness and cruelty to babies and little children made me broken-hearted as well as depressed, overwhelmed, and physically nauseous! I wondered time and again how she endured returning to a place where she was forced to observe these atrocities, and be forced to keep her mouth closed, in order to slowly, but surely make an enormous difference in the lives of these little ones who are so helpless! I won't lie and say that it was an easy book to read...it nearly broke me into little pieces, but due to all the help she has given as well as recruited, risking her own welfare is the story of a superhero! Kay, you give with all of your heart, and for that, you'll always remain at the top of my list for the person we should all emulate! You are an amazing woman, and I am so glad that I didn't give up on this one! Thanks for making this world a better place to live with all that you do for others! Superbly written!

[DC · Rating 3 out of 5]

You open your eyes, and see darkness.

Wait, no, it's not exactly darkness. It's the moment before the sunrise, soon peering from the windows. It will be morning soon.

It's cold, very cold. They did not turn on the heaters again.

You shift uncomfortably on your wooden bed. You have bed sores all over, and you feel too stiff to move. Besides, you wouldn't really be able to move, as you're fastened to the bed with a clasp.

You long to get up, to be held, to feel human warmth. You, however, dread the incoming footsteps, because you know it will be them, with only their harsh words and unbearably painful slaps in tow.

You cry silent tears. Even though you are only a few months old, you know that this is how your life will be, ever since your mother abandoned you, since you are not a boy, or because of your handicap.

The door opens, and you stifle your cries. (They will only hit you harder if they hear you.) Instead of the usual cold words, you hear a pleasant foreign voice, speaking as if trying to reach out to you - and reach out to you it has.

Gently, very gently, someone carries you in their arms. She clicks her tongue as she feel your backside, murmuring angry words that seem to not be directed to you. She presses her lips on your cheek, and carries you around. You think she has named you as a girl, but you do not mind. You only feel the warmth of her touch, and wish that this moment will never end.

You smile.

---

This is a compilation of diary entries from an American woman who volunteered at an orphanage in a seemingly rural Chinese district. She enters the chaotic area with nothing but an idealistic whim - that she wants to spend her idle time helping out the social workers with unfortunate kids. Little does she know that there is much more, oh, so much more to take care of than just a handful of children.

Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage is not exactly an easy book to read, especially if you're new to the problems that plague today's society. If you've never known what it means to be hungry, to lose a home, to have a death in the family... if you've always had a comfortable life (such as the author herself), this book will be very difficult to take in.

In these halls, you see no color, only a drab gray that these children stare at - day in and day out. In these halls, you see babies who do not even cry, because they know that with each tear a sharp slap on the face will immediately come. In these halls, you will see tired social workers, whose workload is so large that they hurry so much so they could get all their chores done before they go home (and thus have no time for actually caring for the children). In these halls, you see no hope.

It is frustrating to listen to the author, as she tries to make little changes to better the lives of these little ones - and gets hampered almost every step of the way. It is heartbreaking to hear her try to get herself together, especially after a baby she has been holding on to only yesterday dies the next day. It is tear-jerking to know of her struggles to get through to director after director, if only to get to the hospital a little girl who is desperately in need of the ICU.

I admire her for her courage, and I salute her for her not giving up in her quest for giving hope to this orphanage.

This book will tackle, in particular, the kids of the orphanage - from baby, to toddler, to special needs children. It does not dwell much on the abandoned adults, although they are also mentioned in passing.

This book also tells of an expatriate's journey of getting across the language barrier in order to buy groceries, of getting over the theft of their brand new bicycle, of getting stares and unkind words because she is a foreigner. It looks into her life as she struggles to learn Mandarin, as she tries to ask the driver to pay her the attention that he pays her husband (because he is a man while she is a woman), as she soothes herself knowing she won't be home to be there for her daughter's birthday.

It's kind of like a growing up novel, but with a grown woman playing the part of a person waking up to reality.

While, of course, the struggle for care is unending, I like how a single woman, by using baby steps to get the word out, has been able to organize a group of volunteers from all over the world to help the kids out - from a group of only 2-4 people.

My heart goes out to all these poor children, and I'm glad there are bourgeois people who can afford to help them out.

It's difficult to read, but the message is very beautiful. It is so nice to know that in such a hopeless place, there IS a silver lining behind the clouds - but you need to work too, not just stare at the opportunity to work it all out.

---

It is written well enough, although the entries are sometimes too random and different from each other. The mixed themes of expat living + orphanage caring come together okay, although I originally thought that it would be mostly about the orphanage. I feel that need to spend more time volunteering again, too.


EDIT: I've been to China lately, and I've seen for myself how the One Child Policy has affected the lives of these people. It gives more perspective for the book to actually be there, and see these people with one or two children. (They have to pay an exorbitant amount to have more than one, especially if the first child is female.) It's very heart-wrenching to thus think of the poor orphanages.

[Theresa Revilak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not the kind of book you just relax and read. It was a hard read, from the first page on to the end. I do a lot of orphan advocacy and I thought I knew a lot about orphanages, but reading it first hand, as someone who was there regularly and allowed in the rooms they normally do not allow people in, oh wow. I just have no words of the daily life for these kids. Kay worked with the babies especially and would try so hard to ease their life in every way she could. The workers in the orphanages, the ayis, would work hard but there was so many kids and so little ayis they could not be affectionate or give the children any more than basic care. A lot of the ayis were just cruel and uncaring. Reading about China culture and how a lot of this attitude towards orphans is rooted in superstition and ancient beliefs and the different reasons couples may abandon their children was heartbreaking. As she goes on and moves through the book, she grows as a person and spiritually, and by the end is advised for care of the orphans. She advocated for the medical care for so many orphans on things like heart surgery, cleft palate surgery, spinal bifida surgery, etc. I highly recommend this book because we cannot just go through life and be uninformed. Children all over the world suffer daily and this book is just one place it happens in. It's hard to put it down, as hard as it is to read. I'll be keeping this one after it makes the rounds.

[Sparrow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bought this from a Goodreads/Amazon sale for cheap. Seemed like a light easy ready, and it was - I read it mostly in a few days while I was in Europe.

It's clear that Kay Bratt is not a great writer. This book easily could have been self published; it clearly looked like a slightly edited journal.

Bratt's description of culture shock is informative, especially in relation to the situation of the orphanage. I felt a lot of parallel with LA government run animal shelters (not that babies are comparable to dogs, but that gov't systems that have little money, employees, or understanding suffer greatly and in turn, negatively affect those who need the most compassion). I was also able to relate to Bratt's compassion fatigue and was also touched by the improvements she made in the system.

All in all, not the best written book, but worth the read.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tough to read for a few reasons. I’ve had this book for years and finally decided to read it. Glad I waited all these years to read. Not sure I would recommend reading it unless you have a child adopted from China.

[diane wight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can't say enough about this book.. No wonder this author has so much compassion for both humans and animals. This compasion is reflected in everything she writes.

[Abby Irwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the book!!! I liked how it was her diary entries. It was very inspiring and I also liked how it included some letters she has gotten at the end.

[Mirissa Walters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not to criticize someone’s story; it is a beautiful story. However, it gives me a very god complex feel. I also don’t like the way it is written, but that’s just a personal opinion.