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Say Hello
A forthright, honest and rousingly triumphant memoir from a woman who has to live with a highly visible different appearance due to a rare skin condition. Say hello to Carly.
'In fairytales, the characters who look different are often cast as the villain or monsters. It's only when they shed their unconventional skin that they are seen as "good" or less frightening. There are very few stories where the character that looks different is the hero of the story ... I've been the hero of my story - telling it on my own terms, proud about my facial difference and disability, not wanting a cure for my rare, severe and sometimes confronting skin condition, and knowing that I am beautiful even though I don't have beauty privilege.'
This honest, outspoken and thought-provoking memoir by award-winning writer and appearance activist Carly Findlay will challenge all your assumptions and beliefs about what it is like to have a visibly different appearance. Carly lives with a rare skin condition, Ichthyosis, and what she faces every day, and what she has to live with, will have you cheering for her and her courage and irrepressible spirit. This is both a moving memoir and a proud manifesto on disability and appearance diversity issues.
'Believe the hype - by turns frank, funny, and fearsome, Findlay's extraordinary memoir is an early contender for 2019's best Australian non-fiction ... a powerful and moving invitation to examine the structures of privilege and dehumanisation that we so desperately need address in this country.' Better Read Than Dead
'In fairytales, the characters who look different are often cast as the villain or monsters. It's only when they shed their unconventional skin that they are seen as "good" or less frightening. There are very few stories where the character that looks different is the hero of the story ... I've been the hero of my story - telling it on my own terms, proud about my facial difference and disability, not wanting a cure for my rare, severe and sometimes confronting skin condition, and knowing that I am beautiful even though I don't have beauty privilege.'
This honest, outspoken and thought-provoking memoir by award-winning writer and appearance activist Carly Findlay will challenge all your assumptions and beliefs about what it is like to have a visibly different appearance. Carly lives with a rare skin condition, Ichthyosis, and what she faces every day, and what she has to live with, will have you cheering for her and her courage and irrepressible spirit. This is both a moving memoir and a proud manifesto on disability and appearance diversity issues.
'Believe the hype - by turns frank, funny, and fearsome, Findlay's extraordinary memoir is an early contender for 2019's best Australian non-fiction ... a powerful and moving invitation to examine the structures of privilege and dehumanisation that we so desperately need address in this country.' Better Read Than Dead
346 pages, Paperback
First published February 23, 2019
48 people are currently reading
1145 people want to read
About the author
Carly Findlay
9 books539 followersCarly Findlay is a blogger, writer, speaker and appearance activist. She challenges people’s thinking about what it’s like to have a visibly different appearance.
Carly was named as one of Australia’s most influential women in the Australian Financial Review and Westpac 100 Women of Influence Awards for 2014. Carly received the 2010 and 2013 Yooralla Media Awards for Best Online Commentary for her body of disability focused writing. She also won the best personal blog category for Kidspot Voices of 2013, and the 2013 BUPA Health Activist award for Positive Life Change. She’s also been a finalist in the Best Australian Blogs competition in 2011, 2012 and 2014.
She organised Australia’s first Ichthyosis meet in 2015 – bringing together 75 people affected by the rare, severe skin condition Ichthyosis. 25 attendees had Ichthyosis. Friendships and support networks were formed.
Carly appeared on 'You Can't Ask That' and 'CyberHate' with Tara Moss on ABC TV in 2017.
Carly is writing her first book – a memoir – titled 'Say Hello: How I Became The Hero Of My Story' coming late 2018 with Harper Collins Australia. She is represented by Jacinta di Mase’s agency.
Carly was named as one of Australia’s most influential women in the Australian Financial Review and Westpac 100 Women of Influence Awards for 2014. Carly received the 2010 and 2013 Yooralla Media Awards for Best Online Commentary for her body of disability focused writing. She also won the best personal blog category for Kidspot Voices of 2013, and the 2013 BUPA Health Activist award for Positive Life Change. She’s also been a finalist in the Best Australian Blogs competition in 2011, 2012 and 2014.
She organised Australia’s first Ichthyosis meet in 2015 – bringing together 75 people affected by the rare, severe skin condition Ichthyosis. 25 attendees had Ichthyosis. Friendships and support networks were formed.
Carly appeared on 'You Can't Ask That' and 'CyberHate' with Tara Moss on ABC TV in 2017.
Carly is writing her first book – a memoir – titled 'Say Hello: How I Became The Hero Of My Story' coming late 2018 with Harper Collins Australia. She is represented by Jacinta di Mase’s agency.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 242 reviews
January 10, 2020
This is not a review of my book. It’s a review of how my book - that I wrote - has changed my life.
It’s almost a year since Say Hello came out.
A year of so many emotions, so much travel and meeting many, many wonderful people. I can’t keep track of the number of people who have posted the orange and pink cover on Instagram, or told me they’ve given it to their friend as a present, or who have asked me where they can buy my book for their school or workplace. I’ve signed hundreds, if not thousands of copies. People have been generous with their time (and money), coming to see me speak. Sometimes they give me presents. I marvel at the interest people have, and the kindness.
The book is selling well. I don’t know what well means to a publisher, but to me, it’s selling well because it’s changed lives.
It’s been distributed in workplaces - disability service providers, pharmacy organisations and even to the organisations who have funded my role in my workplace.
Strangers have stopped me in the street and in cafes to say they love my book. (I am yet to see anyone on the train reading it, but there’s still time!).
The media have been so kind in inviting me to talk about it on their radio and TV shows, and for their newspapers.
A mother of a little boy with ichthyosis sent me a photo of him watching me on The Project, talking about Say Hello, pointing to the screen. “That’s my friend Carly, she’s got the same skin as me”, he said. Other parents have told me it helps them understand their child’s condition more.
People who feature in the book are proud and thankful. They champion it. I am so glad they said yes to being involved.
Sometimes I read parts of it aloud at the end of speaking events. I find new things to love about it each time (and also bits that I wish I’d written differently).
I’ve been to so many writers festivals, libraries and book stores. The writing industry is lovely. My Mum has a new outlet as #FestivalMum.
Ensuring my book launches were as accessible as possible was really hard - I had to both impress book stores and also demand that my audience felt welcome - that they could get in the door, and use a toilet, and have access to Auslan. I want to do more work on this, because so much work needs to be done.
Disabled people relate to it. Some people have told me I’ve helped them accept their disability and appearance diversity. They tell me they’re more confident to tell their story, or share their photos. Those comments mean the most to me.
Non disabled people have recognised their privilege and ableism through reading it. These comments wow me, because I am actually getting somewhere.
People still ask me to work for free, but far less (because there’s a chapter in the book).
I’ve got to work with people I deeply admire - Ginger Gorman, Kevin Mitchell (Bob Evans), Annabel Crabb, Ruby Allegra, Tess Woods, Erin Somerville, Caroline Candusso and Elisha Matthews launched my book at events around the country. I’ve done panels with Maxine Beneba Clarke and Lindy West; chatted on my favourite podcasts and had incredible editors.
My agent, Danielle Binks, is the best support a woman could ever wish for. She’s a business support, and also an incredible friend. I’ve become close to my publisher, editor and publicist at HarperCollins too. They’re good people.
Taxi driver discrimination hasn’t stopped. But at least I can give them a card with my book cover on, and suggest they read it.
My husband hasn’t read all of my book yet. He’s up t9 to chapter 13. I should have included more Star Wars references.
Jealousy is rife. I’ve lost friends. I’ve told many people that they too can write a book if they don’t like my words. But I’m doing ok.
The ableism in some of the reviews is jarring but not surprising.
I will never stop my fangirling. I might be 38 years old but deep down I’m that 18 year old girl who squealed in the front row of the a Savage Garden concert.
I miss my best friend more than anything. She died in April. She features in the book - a photo and a passage that she wrote. She was the first person to order the book online - always supportive. I wish she was here.
Someone made a sculpture of Say Hello for Readings Bookstore’s 50th birthday. It was part of a bigger sculpture display of 50 Australian books. I was so delighted. He made me a sculpture to keep, and also two album covers - Bob Evans a s Savage Garden.
I don’t see Say Hello in airports much anymore, but I’m walking through airports because of Say Hello.
I miss writing. I’ve written very little since Say Hello was completed in November 2018. I cannot wait to write some real long, thoughtful pieces.
My next book, the Growing Up Disabled in Australia anthology, will be lit this June.
Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to buy, borrow, read, review, recommend and tell me what Say Hello has meant to you. I am forever grateful.
Say Hello has changed my life because I now have a physical resource I can give people that might help them in some way. It’s changed my life because I’ve become more connected with the writing community. It’s changed my life because it’s allowed me to travel and meet wonderful people - many of whom are now my friends. It’s changed my life because I’m now the person little Carly needed.
Five stars to me, and five million stars to you. 💗🧡
It’s almost a year since Say Hello came out.
A year of so many emotions, so much travel and meeting many, many wonderful people. I can’t keep track of the number of people who have posted the orange and pink cover on Instagram, or told me they’ve given it to their friend as a present, or who have asked me where they can buy my book for their school or workplace. I’ve signed hundreds, if not thousands of copies. People have been generous with their time (and money), coming to see me speak. Sometimes they give me presents. I marvel at the interest people have, and the kindness.
The book is selling well. I don’t know what well means to a publisher, but to me, it’s selling well because it’s changed lives.
It’s been distributed in workplaces - disability service providers, pharmacy organisations and even to the organisations who have funded my role in my workplace.
Strangers have stopped me in the street and in cafes to say they love my book. (I am yet to see anyone on the train reading it, but there’s still time!).
The media have been so kind in inviting me to talk about it on their radio and TV shows, and for their newspapers.
A mother of a little boy with ichthyosis sent me a photo of him watching me on The Project, talking about Say Hello, pointing to the screen. “That’s my friend Carly, she’s got the same skin as me”, he said. Other parents have told me it helps them understand their child’s condition more.
People who feature in the book are proud and thankful. They champion it. I am so glad they said yes to being involved.
Sometimes I read parts of it aloud at the end of speaking events. I find new things to love about it each time (and also bits that I wish I’d written differently).
I’ve been to so many writers festivals, libraries and book stores. The writing industry is lovely. My Mum has a new outlet as #FestivalMum.
Ensuring my book launches were as accessible as possible was really hard - I had to both impress book stores and also demand that my audience felt welcome - that they could get in the door, and use a toilet, and have access to Auslan. I want to do more work on this, because so much work needs to be done.
Disabled people relate to it. Some people have told me I’ve helped them accept their disability and appearance diversity. They tell me they’re more confident to tell their story, or share their photos. Those comments mean the most to me.
Non disabled people have recognised their privilege and ableism through reading it. These comments wow me, because I am actually getting somewhere.
People still ask me to work for free, but far less (because there’s a chapter in the book).
I’ve got to work with people I deeply admire - Ginger Gorman, Kevin Mitchell (Bob Evans), Annabel Crabb, Ruby Allegra, Tess Woods, Erin Somerville, Caroline Candusso and Elisha Matthews launched my book at events around the country. I’ve done panels with Maxine Beneba Clarke and Lindy West; chatted on my favourite podcasts and had incredible editors.
My agent, Danielle Binks, is the best support a woman could ever wish for. She’s a business support, and also an incredible friend. I’ve become close to my publisher, editor and publicist at HarperCollins too. They’re good people.
Taxi driver discrimination hasn’t stopped. But at least I can give them a card with my book cover on, and suggest they read it.
My husband hasn’t read all of my book yet. He’s up t9 to chapter 13. I should have included more Star Wars references.
Jealousy is rife. I’ve lost friends. I’ve told many people that they too can write a book if they don’t like my words. But I’m doing ok.
The ableism in some of the reviews is jarring but not surprising.
I will never stop my fangirling. I might be 38 years old but deep down I’m that 18 year old girl who squealed in the front row of the a Savage Garden concert.
I miss my best friend more than anything. She died in April. She features in the book - a photo and a passage that she wrote. She was the first person to order the book online - always supportive. I wish she was here.
Someone made a sculpture of Say Hello for Readings Bookstore’s 50th birthday. It was part of a bigger sculpture display of 50 Australian books. I was so delighted. He made me a sculpture to keep, and also two album covers - Bob Evans a s Savage Garden.
I don’t see Say Hello in airports much anymore, but I’m walking through airports because of Say Hello.
I miss writing. I’ve written very little since Say Hello was completed in November 2018. I cannot wait to write some real long, thoughtful pieces.
My next book, the Growing Up Disabled in Australia anthology, will be lit this June.
Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to buy, borrow, read, review, recommend and tell me what Say Hello has meant to you. I am forever grateful.
Say Hello has changed my life because I now have a physical resource I can give people that might help them in some way. It’s changed my life because I’ve become more connected with the writing community. It’s changed my life because it’s allowed me to travel and meet wonderful people - many of whom are now my friends. It’s changed my life because I’m now the person little Carly needed.
Five stars to me, and five million stars to you. 💗🧡
August 31, 2023
This review is long, as often happens I’ve a lot to say, and all views expressed here are my own, I hope I’ve interpreted impressions appropriately, and haven’t veered too far off track.
My first excitement was hearing the author’s voice. I don’t watch a lot of TV nor listen to the radio therefore I have never heard Carly speak. It was a lovely surprise, made more so as her story is so personal and intricate. The one radio interview (with a media professional that should have known better) had a dreadful outcome, which was not an isolated incident. I don’t know how one deals with that. Carly shows us here that she has.
This memoir/manifesto taught me a great deal. While the narrative progressed, a recurring internal dialogue buzzing around my head was what I would do if I stumbled across the author in our day to day lives. As the author recounts the immeasurable interactions endured due to her facial difference, some made me smile, but most made me upset, angry and emotional. I am removed, Carly is not.
I think these 9 words are my takeaway. I would look for the similarities, not the differences. I would (after a fan girl moment which may be a bit cringy) want to talk about books – THE BABYSITTERS CLUB – so excited this was a shared joy; filling in the Scholastic Book Club form sending it off to the school office and bringing it home to devour. Writing, study, clothes and fashion and how they make me happy.
Carly is an appearance activist. She lives, knows and breathes the challenge. There are exhausted moments that can’t prop up the happy ask me questions vibe (which is what many expect). This is what Carly refers to as emotional labour , which makes complete sense to me. Sometimes the questions asked of the author by strangers can be answered, sometimes not. Countless times the author tries hard to be courteous even when those strangers she faces are appallingly rude and abusive. Other times, it will be an ‘F you’ moment. All the while facing moments of silent and physical pain.
Taxi driver discrimination, strangers demanding proof of disability to sit in the designated area on the train when Carly is in tremendous pain. These stories shocked me, the treatment by fellow humans abhorrent. Disability agencies asking Carly to appear for free. There comes a point where being polite and taking it all with a smile is not possible.
At school kids wouldn’t make skin to skin contact during ‘heads up thumbs down’. I loved this game. Carly showed me what it would be like to not be included, and now I realise this reader without disability hasn’t put herself in those shoes. I believe if we don’t read stories like Carly’s, ignorance will still swirl. It saddens me but provides lessons in equal measure.
The author advocates in the ichthyosis community, and this example is a hard one for me to think about as I don’t use social media in this way. Families consistently document their children’s lives visually on social media, she tries in vain to dissuade this practice. There is no consent here. This advocacy work is never ending, also worryingly some out there in the ether rely on the authors immediate online response. There’s pressure here for Carly to always be on call, this is not right but of course, there will always be that callous demand for instant response/support/advice. We can't have immeasurable abilities to be on all of the time.
The author does not wish to be thought an inspiration. This is Carly, a capable smart woman, not a fluffy inspirational quote. Nor is she responsible for taking on the parental role of educating kids on their reactions to physical differences - parents talk to your kids, inform, and encourage kindness, isn’t this uncomplicated? It appears not, much of the time. Education is very important as ableism generally is rife. This book has taught me how much so.
Please don’t blurt questions, it’s not ok, your curiosity isn’t a welcome intrusion unless this happens holistically, and do not expect a pat on the back for doing so. Treat those with a facial difference, or any difference the way you would around anyone else.
Carly was raised by remarkable and humble parents. I picked up there was no real notice of difference for Carly as a child, not always identifying as having a disability. Savage Garden was her teenage vibe, loving her music, art, poetry and books. Always relying on these as her source of calm from the otherwise unreliability of people, perhaps. I know this feeling; they hold a special place.
If only we could see ourselves as our partners do, hey? The author found one of the good ones, that one to have your back. People that throw their ignorance and hate at me. Who deserves such treatment?
This was thought provoking. I wanted those people to see that the barriers caused between ableism and discrimination are more disabling than my body.
Say Hello is full of deep insight and reality with many confronting moments. The author draws on her own experiences combined with others amongst her peers in telling her story more fully. Her inner circle stems from all over the world as she tells us about their stories too. This book conveys an effervescent powerhouse of humanity, kindness, empathy and knowledge.
I love this from the acknowledgements while thanking her editor: Saying fuck in the margins at the right places. To be honest, there are bucket loads of moments if you were the swearing type that this is precisely what you would say.
This should be recommended reading for any levels from high school onwards. I listened to this on the BorrowBox platform via my local library, narrated skilfully by the author. Those who use the audio format will enjoy the personal connection of the author conveying her story, I felt it was almost a private conversation.
My first excitement was hearing the author’s voice. I don’t watch a lot of TV nor listen to the radio therefore I have never heard Carly speak. It was a lovely surprise, made more so as her story is so personal and intricate. The one radio interview (with a media professional that should have known better) had a dreadful outcome, which was not an isolated incident. I don’t know how one deals with that. Carly shows us here that she has.
This memoir/manifesto taught me a great deal. While the narrative progressed, a recurring internal dialogue buzzing around my head was what I would do if I stumbled across the author in our day to day lives. As the author recounts the immeasurable interactions endured due to her facial difference, some made me smile, but most made me upset, angry and emotional. I am removed, Carly is not.
I think these 9 words are my takeaway. I would look for the similarities, not the differences. I would (after a fan girl moment which may be a bit cringy) want to talk about books – THE BABYSITTERS CLUB – so excited this was a shared joy; filling in the Scholastic Book Club form sending it off to the school office and bringing it home to devour. Writing, study, clothes and fashion and how they make me happy.
Carly is an appearance activist. She lives, knows and breathes the challenge. There are exhausted moments that can’t prop up the happy ask me questions vibe (which is what many expect). This is what Carly refers to as emotional labour , which makes complete sense to me. Sometimes the questions asked of the author by strangers can be answered, sometimes not. Countless times the author tries hard to be courteous even when those strangers she faces are appallingly rude and abusive. Other times, it will be an ‘F you’ moment. All the while facing moments of silent and physical pain.
Taxi driver discrimination, strangers demanding proof of disability to sit in the designated area on the train when Carly is in tremendous pain. These stories shocked me, the treatment by fellow humans abhorrent. Disability agencies asking Carly to appear for free. There comes a point where being polite and taking it all with a smile is not possible.
At school kids wouldn’t make skin to skin contact during ‘heads up thumbs down’. I loved this game. Carly showed me what it would be like to not be included, and now I realise this reader without disability hasn’t put herself in those shoes. I believe if we don’t read stories like Carly’s, ignorance will still swirl. It saddens me but provides lessons in equal measure.
The author advocates in the ichthyosis community, and this example is a hard one for me to think about as I don’t use social media in this way. Families consistently document their children’s lives visually on social media, she tries in vain to dissuade this practice. There is no consent here. This advocacy work is never ending, also worryingly some out there in the ether rely on the authors immediate online response. There’s pressure here for Carly to always be on call, this is not right but of course, there will always be that callous demand for instant response/support/advice. We can't have immeasurable abilities to be on all of the time.
The author does not wish to be thought an inspiration. This is Carly, a capable smart woman, not a fluffy inspirational quote. Nor is she responsible for taking on the parental role of educating kids on their reactions to physical differences - parents talk to your kids, inform, and encourage kindness, isn’t this uncomplicated? It appears not, much of the time. Education is very important as ableism generally is rife. This book has taught me how much so.
Please don’t blurt questions, it’s not ok, your curiosity isn’t a welcome intrusion unless this happens holistically, and do not expect a pat on the back for doing so. Treat those with a facial difference, or any difference the way you would around anyone else.
Carly was raised by remarkable and humble parents. I picked up there was no real notice of difference for Carly as a child, not always identifying as having a disability. Savage Garden was her teenage vibe, loving her music, art, poetry and books. Always relying on these as her source of calm from the otherwise unreliability of people, perhaps. I know this feeling; they hold a special place.
If only we could see ourselves as our partners do, hey? The author found one of the good ones, that one to have your back. People that throw their ignorance and hate at me. Who deserves such treatment?
This was thought provoking. I wanted those people to see that the barriers caused between ableism and discrimination are more disabling than my body.
Say Hello is full of deep insight and reality with many confronting moments. The author draws on her own experiences combined with others amongst her peers in telling her story more fully. Her inner circle stems from all over the world as she tells us about their stories too. This book conveys an effervescent powerhouse of humanity, kindness, empathy and knowledge.
I love this from the acknowledgements while thanking her editor: Saying fuck in the margins at the right places. To be honest, there are bucket loads of moments if you were the swearing type that this is precisely what you would say.
This should be recommended reading for any levels from high school onwards. I listened to this on the BorrowBox platform via my local library, narrated skilfully by the author. Those who use the audio format will enjoy the personal connection of the author conveying her story, I felt it was almost a private conversation.
February 3, 2019
Another author I rep as literary agent; full-disclosure!
Normally I'd say that my liking and reviewing one of my agency's books can be taken with a grain of salt, because of that conflict-of-interest, but that there's also no BS to my opinion. BUT with *this* review, I really especially have to stress a (let's say - tablespoon?) of salt because I feel very affectionate towards this one in particular.
Carly’s book is both memoir & manifesto: about her life growing up with a Disability and facial difference in particular, but it’s also about her being a Disability Activist and constantly moving the needle on Activism for all in Australia, and the world. I am proud of this book for the way it's now making waves and having a positive impact, and will continue to do so as its audience grows.
But I am also very biased because I am so very grateful that the idea for this memoir introduced me and Carly and started this friendship of ours. I always say I'm very proud that I get to be a *very tiny* part of Carly's publishing journey, but I'm truly honoured to call her friend.
All in all - don't take my word for any of this.
Read the book for yourself.
I promise - you'll be better for it.
Normally I'd say that my liking and reviewing one of my agency's books can be taken with a grain of salt, because of that conflict-of-interest, but that there's also no BS to my opinion. BUT with *this* review, I really especially have to stress a (let's say - tablespoon?) of salt because I feel very affectionate towards this one in particular.
Carly’s book is both memoir & manifesto: about her life growing up with a Disability and facial difference in particular, but it’s also about her being a Disability Activist and constantly moving the needle on Activism for all in Australia, and the world. I am proud of this book for the way it's now making waves and having a positive impact, and will continue to do so as its audience grows.
But I am also very biased because I am so very grateful that the idea for this memoir introduced me and Carly and started this friendship of ours. I always say I'm very proud that I get to be a *very tiny* part of Carly's publishing journey, but I'm truly honoured to call her friend.
All in all - don't take my word for any of this.
Read the book for yourself.
I promise - you'll be better for it.
February 16, 2019
Self absorbed and whiny
January 10, 2020
This is not a review of my book. It’s a review of how my book - that I wrote - has changed my life.
It’s almost a year since Say Hello came out.
A year of so many emotions, so much travel and meeting many, many wonderful people. I can’t keep track of the number of people who have posted the orange and pink cover on Instagram, or told me they’ve given it to their friend as a present, or who have asked me where they can buy my book for their school or workplace. I’ve signed hundreds, if not thousands of copies. People have been generous with their time (and money), coming to see me speak. Sometimes they give me presents. I marvel at the interest people have, and the kindness.
The book is selling well. I don’t know what well means to a publisher, but to me, it’s selling well because it’s changed lives.
It’s been distributed in workplaces - disability service providers, pharmacy organisations and even to the organisations who have funded my role in my workplace.
Strangers have stopped me in the street and in cafes to say they love my book. (I am yet to see anyone on the train reading it, but there’s still time!).
The media have been so kind in inviting me to talk about it on their radio and TV shows, and for their newspapers.
A mother of a little boy with ichthyosis sent me a photo of him watching me on The Project, talking about Say Hello, pointing to the screen. “That’s my friend Carly, she’s got the same skin as me”, he said. Other parents have told me it helps them understand their child’s condition more.
People who feature in the book are proud and thankful. They champion it. I am so glad they said yes to being involved.
Sometimes I read parts of it aloud at the end of speaking events. I find new things to love about it each time (and also bits that I wish I’d written differently).
I’ve been to so many writers festivals, libraries and book stores. The writing industry is lovely. My Mum has a new outlet as #FestivalMum.
Ensuring my book launches were as accessible as possible was really hard - I had to both impress book stores and also demand that my audience felt welcome - that they could get in the door, and use a toilet, and have access to Auslan. I want to do more work on this, because so much work needs to be done.
Disabled people relate to it. Some people have told me I’ve helped them accept their disability and appearance diversity. They tell me they’re more confident to tell their story, or share their photos. Those comments mean the most to me.
Non disabled people have recognised their privilege and ableism through reading it. These comments wow me, because I am actually getting somewhere.
People still ask me to work for free, but far less (because there’s a chapter in the book).
I’ve got to work with people I deeply admire - Ginger Gorman, Kevin Mitchell (Bob Evans), Annabel Crabb, Ruby Allegra, Tess Woods, Erin Somerville, Caroline Candusso and Elisha Matthews launched my book at events around the country. I’ve done panels with Maxine Beneba Clarke and Lindy West; chatted on my favourite podcasts and had incredible editors.
My agent, Danielle Binks, is the best support a woman could ever wish for. She’s a business support, and also an incredible friend. I’ve become close to my publisher, editor and publicist at HarperCollins too. They’re good people.
Taxi driver discrimination hasn’t stopped. But at least I can give them a card with my book cover on, and suggest they read it.
My husband hasn’t read all of my book yet. He’s up t9 to chapter 13. I should have included more Star Wars references.
Jealousy is rife. I’ve lost friends. I’ve told many people that they too can write a book if they don’t like my words. But I’m doing ok.
The ableism in some of the reviews is jarring but not surprising.
I will never stop my fangirling. I might be 38 years old but deep down I’m that 18 year old girl who squealed in the front row of the a Savage Garden concert.
I miss my best friend more than anything. She died in April. She features in the book - a photo and a passage that she wrote. She was the first person to order the book online - always supportive. I wish she was here.
Someone made a sculpture of Say Hello for Readings Bookstore’s 50th birthday. It was part of a bigger sculpture display of 50 Australian books. I was so delighted. He made me a sculpture to keep, and also two album covers - Bob Evans a s Savage Garden.
I don’t see Say Hello in airports much anymore, but I’m walking through airports because of Say Hello.
I miss writing. I’ve written very little since Say Hello was completed in November 2018. I cannot wait to write some real long, thoughtful pieces.
My next book, the Growing Up Disabled in Australia anthology, will be lit this June.
Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to buy, borrow, read, review, recommend and tell me what Say Hello has meant to you. I am forever grateful.
Say Hello has changed my life because I now have a physical resource I can give people that might help them in some way. It’s changed my life because I’ve become more connected with the writing community. It’s changed my life because it’s allowed me to travel and meet wonderful people - many of whom are now my friends. It’s changed my life because I’m now the person little Carly needed.
Five stars to me, and five million stars to you. 💗🧡
It’s almost a year since Say Hello came out.
A year of so many emotions, so much travel and meeting many, many wonderful people. I can’t keep track of the number of people who have posted the orange and pink cover on Instagram, or told me they’ve given it to their friend as a present, or who have asked me where they can buy my book for their school or workplace. I’ve signed hundreds, if not thousands of copies. People have been generous with their time (and money), coming to see me speak. Sometimes they give me presents. I marvel at the interest people have, and the kindness.
The book is selling well. I don’t know what well means to a publisher, but to me, it’s selling well because it’s changed lives.
It’s been distributed in workplaces - disability service providers, pharmacy organisations and even to the organisations who have funded my role in my workplace.
Strangers have stopped me in the street and in cafes to say they love my book. (I am yet to see anyone on the train reading it, but there’s still time!).
The media have been so kind in inviting me to talk about it on their radio and TV shows, and for their newspapers.
A mother of a little boy with ichthyosis sent me a photo of him watching me on The Project, talking about Say Hello, pointing to the screen. “That’s my friend Carly, she’s got the same skin as me”, he said. Other parents have told me it helps them understand their child’s condition more.
People who feature in the book are proud and thankful. They champion it. I am so glad they said yes to being involved.
Sometimes I read parts of it aloud at the end of speaking events. I find new things to love about it each time (and also bits that I wish I’d written differently).
I’ve been to so many writers festivals, libraries and book stores. The writing industry is lovely. My Mum has a new outlet as #FestivalMum.
Ensuring my book launches were as accessible as possible was really hard - I had to both impress book stores and also demand that my audience felt welcome - that they could get in the door, and use a toilet, and have access to Auslan. I want to do more work on this, because so much work needs to be done.
Disabled people relate to it. Some people have told me I’ve helped them accept their disability and appearance diversity. They tell me they’re more confident to tell their story, or share their photos. Those comments mean the most to me.
Non disabled people have recognised their privilege and ableism through reading it. These comments wow me, because I am actually getting somewhere.
People still ask me to work for free, but far less (because there’s a chapter in the book).
I’ve got to work with people I deeply admire - Ginger Gorman, Kevin Mitchell (Bob Evans), Annabel Crabb, Ruby Allegra, Tess Woods, Erin Somerville, Caroline Candusso and Elisha Matthews launched my book at events around the country. I’ve done panels with Maxine Beneba Clarke and Lindy West; chatted on my favourite podcasts and had incredible editors.
My agent, Danielle Binks, is the best support a woman could ever wish for. She’s a business support, and also an incredible friend. I’ve become close to my publisher, editor and publicist at HarperCollins too. They’re good people.
Taxi driver discrimination hasn’t stopped. But at least I can give them a card with my book cover on, and suggest they read it.
My husband hasn’t read all of my book yet. He’s up t9 to chapter 13. I should have included more Star Wars references.
Jealousy is rife. I’ve lost friends. I’ve told many people that they too can write a book if they don’t like my words. But I’m doing ok.
The ableism in some of the reviews is jarring but not surprising.
I will never stop my fangirling. I might be 38 years old but deep down I’m that 18 year old girl who squealed in the front row of the a Savage Garden concert.
I miss my best friend more than anything. She died in April. She features in the book - a photo and a passage that she wrote. She was the first person to order the book online - always supportive. I wish she was here.
Someone made a sculpture of Say Hello for Readings Bookstore’s 50th birthday. It was part of a bigger sculpture display of 50 Australian books. I was so delighted. He made me a sculpture to keep, and also two album covers - Bob Evans a s Savage Garden.
I don’t see Say Hello in airports much anymore, but I’m walking through airports because of Say Hello.
I miss writing. I’ve written very little since Say Hello was completed in November 2018. I cannot wait to write some real long, thoughtful pieces.
My next book, the Growing Up Disabled in Australia anthology, will be lit this June.
Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to buy, borrow, read, review, recommend and tell me what Say Hello has meant to you. I am forever grateful.
Say Hello has changed my life because I now have a physical resource I can give people that might help them in some way. It’s changed my life because I’ve become more connected with the writing community. It’s changed my life because it’s allowed me to travel and meet wonderful people - many of whom are now my friends. It’s changed my life because I’m now the person little Carly needed.
Five stars to me, and five million stars to you. 💗🧡
February 2, 2019
I really wanted to like this book but unfortunately it didn’t meet my expectations. I borrowed a copy from a friend who picked it up at the book launch and kindly loaned it to me. Findlay generally writes well but on the whole it didn’t hold my attention. In my opinion there are far more engaging memoirs out there.
January 25, 2019
This book certainly lived up to the hype and TL;DR: everyone should read this book.
Carly is an Australian writer and blogger, appearance activist, speaker, television and radio star, podcast host, fashion icon and fangirl. This book is both her memoir and manifesto, detailing her life with Ichthyosis, a rare and severe skin condition.
I'll admit it, I do not like reading biographies or memoirs. They're usually too much like history for my taste (ugh) or I don't really care enough about a person to listen to their childhood exploits when I'm a fan of their adult work. Or they're just bad (even if they might be widely acclaimed... *cough*). Carly's, however, was absolutely lovely. The writing was engaging whilst remaining educational and informative, and at some parts I was laughing out loud. Several sections of the book also made me angry, where Carly discussed her daily existence facing ableism and frankly, really shitty people. There are and have been many wonderful people in Carly's life, including her parents. I would now consider myself a part of Carly's mum's fan club, which seems to be growing ever larger (and for good reason!). Carly also talks about her life growing up, school, work, dating, and possibly most importantly: music. Carly is a fan of Bob Evans and Darren Hayes (among others) and her discussion of fandom really resonated with me, even if my thing is Harry Potter.
The theme throughout the book, as per the title, is to say hello when you meet someone, especially before asking rude and personal questions. Remember your manners and be polite! A message that, unfortunately, a LOT of people need to hear in 2019. Although Say Hello focuses on Carly's own experiences as a disabled person, there are sections throughout the book with tips for parents, medical professionals, employers, and anyone who may interact with disabled people on a regular basis (which is likely, as 20% of the Australian population live with a disability). I cannot speak to what disabled people may or may not get out of the book, but I can imagine that the understanding and representation of Carly's lived experience will speak to many. As will her interactions with the media, and her tips for how you tell your story and to who.
As Carly herself has said this book is both for disabled and non disabled people. She succeeds in being the hero of her own story, and demonstrates just how vital representation is, really cementing that "you can't be what you can't see". For us non disabled folks, it's an invitation to sit down and listen, and to really examine both our privilege and our behaviour as we interact with others and the world at large.
Honestly, I stayed up til almost midnight to finish the book, and I really want to read it again. Mum's borrowed my copy though, so I might have to get it from the library. Read this book, listen to the audio version, buy it, borrow it, give it to your friends, family, school, library, enemies, strangers. And of course, remember to say hello!
(PS: subscribe to Refreshments Provided, the podcast Carly co-hosts with the delightful Jason. It's wonderful.)
Carly is an Australian writer and blogger, appearance activist, speaker, television and radio star, podcast host, fashion icon and fangirl. This book is both her memoir and manifesto, detailing her life with Ichthyosis, a rare and severe skin condition.
I'll admit it, I do not like reading biographies or memoirs. They're usually too much like history for my taste (ugh) or I don't really care enough about a person to listen to their childhood exploits when I'm a fan of their adult work. Or they're just bad (even if they might be widely acclaimed... *cough*). Carly's, however, was absolutely lovely. The writing was engaging whilst remaining educational and informative, and at some parts I was laughing out loud. Several sections of the book also made me angry, where Carly discussed her daily existence facing ableism and frankly, really shitty people. There are and have been many wonderful people in Carly's life, including her parents. I would now consider myself a part of Carly's mum's fan club, which seems to be growing ever larger (and for good reason!). Carly also talks about her life growing up, school, work, dating, and possibly most importantly: music. Carly is a fan of Bob Evans and Darren Hayes (among others) and her discussion of fandom really resonated with me, even if my thing is Harry Potter.
The theme throughout the book, as per the title, is to say hello when you meet someone, especially before asking rude and personal questions. Remember your manners and be polite! A message that, unfortunately, a LOT of people need to hear in 2019. Although Say Hello focuses on Carly's own experiences as a disabled person, there are sections throughout the book with tips for parents, medical professionals, employers, and anyone who may interact with disabled people on a regular basis (which is likely, as 20% of the Australian population live with a disability). I cannot speak to what disabled people may or may not get out of the book, but I can imagine that the understanding and representation of Carly's lived experience will speak to many. As will her interactions with the media, and her tips for how you tell your story and to who.
As Carly herself has said this book is both for disabled and non disabled people. She succeeds in being the hero of her own story, and demonstrates just how vital representation is, really cementing that "you can't be what you can't see". For us non disabled folks, it's an invitation to sit down and listen, and to really examine both our privilege and our behaviour as we interact with others and the world at large.
Honestly, I stayed up til almost midnight to finish the book, and I really want to read it again. Mum's borrowed my copy though, so I might have to get it from the library. Read this book, listen to the audio version, buy it, borrow it, give it to your friends, family, school, library, enemies, strangers. And of course, remember to say hello!
(PS: subscribe to Refreshments Provided, the podcast Carly co-hosts with the delightful Jason. It's wonderful.)
January 30, 2019
This is a bold, strong, vulnerable and real memoir on disability, visable difference, and being your own advocate.
A volume to educate us non-disabled about the experience of disability, from inside and out. The bullying experienced throughout school, the self doubt, the medicalised treatment Carly experienced and her reversing of power in that role from patient to educator. The search for love and acceptance, and the joy of fangirling and fashion.
Carly teaches, shares, and stands up for disabled people, while laughing at the everyday and ridiculous things that have happened along the way.
Teaching medical professionals about the impact of their treatment of people with disabilities, and educating on the medical and social model of disability. This book will be crucial reading for all health professionals to ensure we do better with every client we work with.
But this is also a book for the Little Carly's of the world, finding who they are and their voice and tribe - a powerful support and role model for so many. Carly taking charge and power of the telling of her own story is everything - and will change the perspectives and lives of kids with disabilities, parents of a child with a disability, and people keen to be better allies.
Hope is the other recurrent theme - of changing attitudes, of acceptance and advocacy from the wider population. And of more recent positives Carly has experienced in this regard.
I am totally in awe of this piece of work that Carly has put out there in the world - an incredible book to show for her tenacity to get her story heard, to raise a powerful voice for disabled people, and all the writing, blogging, and speaking work she has been doing for years to tell her story her way.
This book is a movement, a game changer in the way people will stand with, understand and amplify the voices of people with disabilities.
A volume to educate us non-disabled about the experience of disability, from inside and out. The bullying experienced throughout school, the self doubt, the medicalised treatment Carly experienced and her reversing of power in that role from patient to educator. The search for love and acceptance, and the joy of fangirling and fashion.
Carly teaches, shares, and stands up for disabled people, while laughing at the everyday and ridiculous things that have happened along the way.
Teaching medical professionals about the impact of their treatment of people with disabilities, and educating on the medical and social model of disability. This book will be crucial reading for all health professionals to ensure we do better with every client we work with.
But this is also a book for the Little Carly's of the world, finding who they are and their voice and tribe - a powerful support and role model for so many. Carly taking charge and power of the telling of her own story is everything - and will change the perspectives and lives of kids with disabilities, parents of a child with a disability, and people keen to be better allies.
Hope is the other recurrent theme - of changing attitudes, of acceptance and advocacy from the wider population. And of more recent positives Carly has experienced in this regard.
I am totally in awe of this piece of work that Carly has put out there in the world - an incredible book to show for her tenacity to get her story heard, to raise a powerful voice for disabled people, and all the writing, blogging, and speaking work she has been doing for years to tell her story her way.
This book is a movement, a game changer in the way people will stand with, understand and amplify the voices of people with disabilities.
March 23, 2019
I wasn’t impressed by this book and I’m glad that I managed to find it second hand and heavily discounted online. While Findlay seems like a very nice person, this doesn’t mean that she’s a good writer. In particular her “fangirling” irritated me by the end and to be honest I found myself rolling my eyes many times. I also feel like you can find out a lot about her story online at her blog and in various articles, so personally I wouldn’t recommend buying this book unless you really want to know more about her background.
May 26, 2019
The best part of this book is that it made me realise how lucky I am to have good skin and not have to endure horrible behaviour from others as a result of a visible disability. Even though I also have a disability that means I am in chronic pain much of the time, it really made me feel so grateful for my health. I realise Findlay doesn’t want to be pitied or seen as an inspiration but this was the result of reading the book for me - I often think of her story when I’m about to complain about something and it has helped me put everything into perspective.
February 2, 2019
I could relate to so much in this book, almost like I had written it myself. I hope those that really need to understand and develop empathy for people with disabilities read this. What I related to most is constantly feeling exhausted from having to battle for our needs to be understood and met and having the same discussions over and over. No wonder we get defensive. Thank you Carly for articulating your story so well.
April 26, 2019
I read this as part of a book club with several other women. I usually love memoirs and this was incredibly disappointing... to be honest I think it’s one of most boring books I’ve read all year. After reading these reviews I guess I had high hopes.
As others have mentioned, the tone of the book and the nonstop fangirling were irritating. The only part I thought was interesting was the discussion about skin hunger, which I experienced myself after suffering from severe eczema in my teens. Unless you really want to know Findlay’s story beyond the information in her blog, don’t bother with this one.
As others have mentioned, the tone of the book and the nonstop fangirling were irritating. The only part I thought was interesting was the discussion about skin hunger, which I experienced myself after suffering from severe eczema in my teens. Unless you really want to know Findlay’s story beyond the information in her blog, don’t bother with this one.
January 27, 2019
Having respected and admired Carly and her work for several years, I had been eagerly anticipating Say Hello since she announced that it was forthcoming, and it didn't disappoint.
This book offers a unique perspective on disability that mainstream Australia really needs, and that is equally important and valuable for both disabled and abled people.
Parts of the book resonated with me in such a profound and rare way that I've been thinking about them since I read them, and I'm sure they'll stay with me for a long time.
4.5 stars.
This book offers a unique perspective on disability that mainstream Australia really needs, and that is equally important and valuable for both disabled and abled people.
Parts of the book resonated with me in such a profound and rare way that I've been thinking about them since I read them, and I'm sure they'll stay with me for a long time.
4.5 stars.
February 21, 2019
I saw a Clementine Ford quote along the lines of "it's okay to be angry... All these years, people have been calling you 'angry' as if it's a shameful thing, when what they really mean is 'your refusal to be contained frightens me'. It is okay for you to be angry."
Carly Findlay's taken her absolute right to be very angry about a heap of stupid things, and turned it into an opportunity to point out some truths. The micro-aggressions, the blatant ableism, the intrusion, the mindless behaviour, the staring, the sniggering, the frankly slappable offences that she's faced for much of her life have made her very angry indeed, and it's a good thing that she's been as forthright with her reactions as the much missed Stella Young was on a similar range of experiences.
I learnt so much from reading Carly Findlay's excellent book. I was thrilled to see her anger, interested to see her understanding and ability to empathise with others (something we should all take note of). Couldn't help but cheer at some of the righteously pissed off responses to the flat out stupid and self-involved. Amazed to see her levels of acceptance and a willingness to reach out to those who are actively seeking engagement.
I am grateful that throughout this book there are lessons to be learnt, there are things that we all need to think about, and there are now bookmarks galore in my copy. Very pleased to see comments around that it's selling well. All power to the arms of angry young women everywhere, we need to be reading books like SAY HELLO.
Carly Findlay's taken her absolute right to be very angry about a heap of stupid things, and turned it into an opportunity to point out some truths. The micro-aggressions, the blatant ableism, the intrusion, the mindless behaviour, the staring, the sniggering, the frankly slappable offences that she's faced for much of her life have made her very angry indeed, and it's a good thing that she's been as forthright with her reactions as the much missed Stella Young was on a similar range of experiences.
I learnt so much from reading Carly Findlay's excellent book. I was thrilled to see her anger, interested to see her understanding and ability to empathise with others (something we should all take note of). Couldn't help but cheer at some of the righteously pissed off responses to the flat out stupid and self-involved. Amazed to see her levels of acceptance and a willingness to reach out to those who are actively seeking engagement.
I am grateful that throughout this book there are lessons to be learnt, there are things that we all need to think about, and there are now bookmarks galore in my copy. Very pleased to see comments around that it's selling well. All power to the arms of angry young women everywhere, we need to be reading books like SAY HELLO.
August 8, 2019
I DNFd this. While the intention was good, it had no structure, and felt like a series of blog posts, rather than a cohesive book.
To sum up:
1) Some people are dicks
2) Taxi drivers are dicks
3) Carly wouldn't want to change the way she is
4) Except the pain. The pain isn't good
5) Don't be a dick
I wanted to like this book, and I admire Ms Findlay and the work she is doing. She did give me some food for thought around disability and difference, but this wasn't the right book at the right time for me.
To sum up:
1) Some people are dicks
2) Taxi drivers are dicks
3) Carly wouldn't want to change the way she is
4) Except the pain. The pain isn't good
5) Don't be a dick
I wanted to like this book, and I admire Ms Findlay and the work she is doing. She did give me some food for thought around disability and difference, but this wasn't the right book at the right time for me.
February 28, 2019
Trigger warnings: ableism, ableist slurs
Carly's blog was one of the first I started reading back when I started a personal blog in 2009, because she was the first person I didn't know IRL to ever leave me a comment. So when I heard that she had a book deal, I was absolutely thrilled for her and I've been excited to read this ever since.
This is really a mixture of things wrapped up in one book. It's partly Carly's story of her life to date and learning to love herself. It's partly an open letter to able bodied people on how to not be shitty (and how to be good allies). And it's partly a love letter to the disabled community. And honestly, I loved it. It was passionate and heartfelt and beautifully written.
My one minor niggle is 100% a Me Thing and not a Book Thing, and that's that I prefer memoirs that are chronological rather than memoirs that jump around from theme to theme because I feel like there can be occasional repetitiveness. This is a theme to theme book. Don't get me wrong, it's still really great! But if you're like me and prefer chronological stories in your nonfiction (I blame my history nerd background), just be aware that this is thematic instead.
Carly's blog was one of the first I started reading back when I started a personal blog in 2009, because she was the first person I didn't know IRL to ever leave me a comment. So when I heard that she had a book deal, I was absolutely thrilled for her and I've been excited to read this ever since.
This is really a mixture of things wrapped up in one book. It's partly Carly's story of her life to date and learning to love herself. It's partly an open letter to able bodied people on how to not be shitty (and how to be good allies). And it's partly a love letter to the disabled community. And honestly, I loved it. It was passionate and heartfelt and beautifully written.
My one minor niggle is 100% a Me Thing and not a Book Thing, and that's that I prefer memoirs that are chronological rather than memoirs that jump around from theme to theme because I feel like there can be occasional repetitiveness. This is a theme to theme book. Don't get me wrong, it's still really great! But if you're like me and prefer chronological stories in your nonfiction (I blame my history nerd background), just be aware that this is thematic instead.
April 23, 2019
I save my 5 stars for books that change the way I see the world and are, therefore, life changing. Carly Findlay’s perspective on enduring despite ableism and discrimination should be read widely (along with other writers with disabilities). I laughed out loud during the chapter on activism - horribly familiar, but more often wept for the ignorance (my own included) that inflicts suffering. Now to turn these tears to change.
February 8, 2019
As a clergy abuse survivor with a disability caused by the abuse, I look for works that are not only validating, but give me a broader insight into my own recovery from my terrible abuse and the subsequent criminal trial. This book by Carly is, in honesty, in the same league of importance as Albert Facey’s book ‘A Fortunate Life’. In Australian biographies, it’s tricky to find a truly unique perspective that is fresh, profoundly intelligent but relatable. Carly’s work Is multi layered, completely unpretentious and will leave a powerful legacy that should be given equal attention in government policy, in the literary world and for ordinarily Australians who are interested in confronting their own behaviour and considering how and why we demonstrate discrimination in every day micro aggressions. I really hope Carly is contracted to write more books, preferably with the huge commissions she deserves. Thank you so much Carly. What a stunningly beautiful work- and person, you are.
March 27, 2019
This was a really great memoir/manifesto by disability activist and writer Carly Findlay who has ichthyosis, a skin condition with pretty severe symptoms including a facial difference. I've followed Carly's writing for a long time so was really excited for this and it didn't disappoint. It was a mixture of memoir (including a lot of the discrimination she has faced), her view of the social model of disability, practical tips for non-disabled people about how to not be ableist, (ie how to chat to disabled people, how to include them in things - and most importantly, to listen to and trust their experiences), and lots of advice/encouragement for other people with ichthyosis (she describes her book as the book she needed when she was a child). It's a very generous book even though it does NOT shy away from the hard stuff.
October 4, 2019
Came over here to write a glowing review of this illuminating and courageous book by a luminous and brave woman and have been floored by the negativity of some reviewers. If those commenting with vehement criticism are people with disabilities, all power and fair play to them for expressing their views on a subject with which they have personal experience.
If not, then the criticisms seem only to be proof of the painfully entitled ableism Carly describes having to deal with daily in the book. Ironic!
I highly recommend this book and would strongly suggest some deep self reflection would be useful for able-bodied critics. At the very least, a memoir of someone else's intensely difficult life would seem a reasonable matter on which to apply the principle 'if you haven't anything kind to say, don't say anything at all'.
If not, then the criticisms seem only to be proof of the painfully entitled ableism Carly describes having to deal with daily in the book. Ironic!
I highly recommend this book and would strongly suggest some deep self reflection would be useful for able-bodied critics. At the very least, a memoir of someone else's intensely difficult life would seem a reasonable matter on which to apply the principle 'if you haven't anything kind to say, don't say anything at all'.
February 1, 2019
This book is an honest and authentic read by a phenomenal woman. It is simultaneously heartbreaking, educational and amusing. The book itself discusses facial diversity and disability in relation to her own experiences and is highly relatable to anyone that comes from a marginalised group/minority. I had to pick my jaw off the floor after some of the stories about overt ableism as well as the microaggressions. In this memoir Carly's personality shines through the page while she not only narrates her experiences but brings it back to disability activism as a whole. Her rawness and honesty in this book are touching and I hope she's proud of the finished product because it was a stunning read. Please buy this books, it truly is amazing!
February 16, 2019
Carly's story had a real impact on me. I have a son who has a disability, but I would never have said that before reading this book. His medical condition is mild and I didn’t want him to associate with a word I felt was negative. Carly helped me understand what he will face because of the invisible symptoms if not the visible ones. I now realise how empowering it can be for him to identify as disbaled, ask for the changes he needs and find his tribe. There is something in this book for everyone, we could all do with understanding difference better.
February 27, 2019
This is a wonderful book about diversity, and I believe it will make me a better disability activist. I have had the pleasure to meet Carly and she is a wonderful and intelligent person. I hope you read and enjoy this book then I hope you share it with a friend . I can relate to many things she shares on employment, diversity, online dating and pride is growing in me (slowly).
February 3, 2019
Carly is a brilliant writer, and tells an important story - hers. My hope is that one day, this book will be part of the national high school curriculum. It’s so important in the realm of disability and ableism, and the more people who read it the better we will all be.
March 21, 2019
This is a powerful, honest and important book about disability and difference, and being your own champion. Carly is a compassionate and intelligent writer who also (quite rightly) doesn’t pull any punches. Say Hello, she explains, is the book that she needed when she was younger, that she hopes disabled readers will find useful and supportive. But Say Hello is also an invitation to non-disabled readers to really listen to the experiences of others, to reflect on and acknowledge our privilege, and to educate ourselves on how to do better and be better allies rather than expect the disabled community to do it for us. Prejudice and ableism are rife in our society and Carly shines a bright, much-needed light on them.
Enjoyable, engaging and educational - this book deserves a very wide audience indeed.
Enjoyable, engaging and educational - this book deserves a very wide audience indeed.
June 5, 2019
I will not get it entirely that she is anger at ableism , it became draining near the end that I had to skim pages in order to finish the book.
January 6, 2020
So beautiful and honest and challenging. I feel like this should be required reading for all medical professionals. I feel so overwhelmed right now with so many emotions, mainly with love for Carly and others, friends that I know resonate with much that she shares and wishes that the world was different.
With all that I found encouraging there was much that I found disheartening too. You can't help but feel angry and sad by the up hill battle of judgement and exposure that Carly and so many others endure. What I feel most saddened by is Carly's experiences with Christians, which hits me right in the heart because I am a Christian.
I want to say to anyone who has had a Christian tell them that God wants to heal them, that their faith isn't enough, or that the suffering in their life is their own fault, I'm so sorry you had to hear that. It's not what Jesus says. In fact, he explicitly teaches the opposite!
John chapter 9 tells a story of a man born blind. Jesus' disciples ask Jesus, who sinned that this guy was born blind, this man or his parents? What an insensitive cruel question, right? Jesus thinks so too, and he corrects his disciples. He says, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." Jesus challenges the idea that any kind of suffering is caused by something a person did wrong. Jesus, like Carly I think (I hope I'm not putting words in her mouth) teaches that disability can be a gift, to show wonderful glorious things.
I don't want to turn this review into a bible-bashing, if I haven't already, but I felt like Jesus has been misrepresented to hurting people and those people who have done so he calls to repent and to read his word and understand the love he actually wants you to show to people who are different from you. He wants you to talk to them, eat with them, get to know them, do life with them, see yourself as the SAME as them.
Carly, I'm sorry people have hurt you in the name of Jesus... that's just not right. I'm also sorry, because I can't help but pray for you. But I won't pray for your healing, because you don't want that and that's fine (good even!). I will pray that you continue to feel loved and accepted, that God would bless your mission to change the way the world treats people with facial differences and that you and others might know that Jesus doesn't send you messages of judgement asking you to feel responsible for any differences you have been born with. I will pray this because he asks me to, because he loves you.
I hope that if you read this little speech, it doesn't add more trauma to the damage done by Christians, it's not meant to. You are such an encouragement and a beautiful person and I would hate to make you feel anything less than beautiful.
Pslam 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
With all that I found encouraging there was much that I found disheartening too. You can't help but feel angry and sad by the up hill battle of judgement and exposure that Carly and so many others endure. What I feel most saddened by is Carly's experiences with Christians, which hits me right in the heart because I am a Christian.
I want to say to anyone who has had a Christian tell them that God wants to heal them, that their faith isn't enough, or that the suffering in their life is their own fault, I'm so sorry you had to hear that. It's not what Jesus says. In fact, he explicitly teaches the opposite!
John chapter 9 tells a story of a man born blind. Jesus' disciples ask Jesus, who sinned that this guy was born blind, this man or his parents? What an insensitive cruel question, right? Jesus thinks so too, and he corrects his disciples. He says, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." Jesus challenges the idea that any kind of suffering is caused by something a person did wrong. Jesus, like Carly I think (I hope I'm not putting words in her mouth) teaches that disability can be a gift, to show wonderful glorious things.
I don't want to turn this review into a bible-bashing, if I haven't already, but I felt like Jesus has been misrepresented to hurting people and those people who have done so he calls to repent and to read his word and understand the love he actually wants you to show to people who are different from you. He wants you to talk to them, eat with them, get to know them, do life with them, see yourself as the SAME as them.
Carly, I'm sorry people have hurt you in the name of Jesus... that's just not right. I'm also sorry, because I can't help but pray for you. But I won't pray for your healing, because you don't want that and that's fine (good even!). I will pray that you continue to feel loved and accepted, that God would bless your mission to change the way the world treats people with facial differences and that you and others might know that Jesus doesn't send you messages of judgement asking you to feel responsible for any differences you have been born with. I will pray this because he asks me to, because he loves you.
I hope that if you read this little speech, it doesn't add more trauma to the damage done by Christians, it's not meant to. You are such an encouragement and a beautiful person and I would hate to make you feel anything less than beautiful.
Pslam 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
May 2, 2019
Thank you Carly for writing this powerful book. You don't know what you don't know, and this book helped me realize how much I didn't know about life with a facial difference, really life with a disability.
Key takeaways for me:
- I'm going to start with one I knew, but have been challenged to go deeper on: it is my job to educate my children on diversity. This is not only responding to THEM, i.e. answering their questions and guiding them through a live interaction, but intentionally educating them on diversity every day. I do not want myself or my child to make someone embarrassed or face initial rejection, so advance planning/shaping is key :)
- I work in international development. We have disability as a cross-cutting theme which means we need to consider how projects listen to and respond to the needs of disabled people. How do we shift the power balance How do we support local DPOs?
Firstly, this book has made me more passionate about this.
Secondly, it has drummed home that REPRESENTATION IS KEY. We need to hear and see disabled people in all facets of projects, in all parts of life.
As I give feedback on how project designs & evaluations are done, how project priorities are mapped out, how partnerships are pursued - I want to push hard for disabled people to be there reviewing and reporting on projects, for disabled people to be given platforms to train staff, ideally to be ON staff... and DPOs to be seen as essential partners to ensure this perspective is not shifted to isolate parts of the project but has influence on the every-day operation.
So much to think about. This book really is powerful.
Only reason for 4 rather than 5 stars is that at times it can be repetitive, and I found myself lost within a chapter - unclear about it's direction and flow. This is insignificant really though since it is such an important and brave book... I will be promoting it widely.
Key takeaways for me:
- I'm going to start with one I knew, but have been challenged to go deeper on: it is my job to educate my children on diversity. This is not only responding to THEM, i.e. answering their questions and guiding them through a live interaction, but intentionally educating them on diversity every day. I do not want myself or my child to make someone embarrassed or face initial rejection, so advance planning/shaping is key :)
- I work in international development. We have disability as a cross-cutting theme which means we need to consider how projects listen to and respond to the needs of disabled people. How do we shift the power balance How do we support local DPOs?
Firstly, this book has made me more passionate about this.
Secondly, it has drummed home that REPRESENTATION IS KEY. We need to hear and see disabled people in all facets of projects, in all parts of life.
As I give feedback on how project designs & evaluations are done, how project priorities are mapped out, how partnerships are pursued - I want to push hard for disabled people to be there reviewing and reporting on projects, for disabled people to be given platforms to train staff, ideally to be ON staff... and DPOs to be seen as essential partners to ensure this perspective is not shifted to isolate parts of the project but has influence on the every-day operation.
So much to think about. This book really is powerful.
Only reason for 4 rather than 5 stars is that at times it can be repetitive, and I found myself lost within a chapter - unclear about it's direction and flow. This is insignificant really though since it is such an important and brave book... I will be promoting it widely.
March 24, 2019
This should be compulsory reading for everyone. It's a powerful, authentic, relatable moving and sometimes funny memoir on disability and on being true to yourself. The writing is brilliant and Carly is a phenomenal woman, storyteller and activist. I've been thinking about this book a lot since I finished it - and I'm sure it's one of those books that'll stay with me forever. Hands down, my favourite book of the year so far. READ IT!
April 27, 2021
Carly Findlay was born with a skin condition called ichthyosis - her skin sheds, is always irritated and she regularly suffers from infections.
Ichthyosis seems painful, Findlay details how her skin condition causes her pain and how much care she has to give it. However, in her memoir the pain of ichthyosis comes second to the pain of dealing with the disgust some people show when they meet her. Through personal memories and anecdotes she describes the ableism she faced and continues to face everyday. People make assumptions about her because of her appearance or her status as a disabled person. She has been bullied by peers and random strangers on the street; she has been the victim of online harassment from internet communities.
The title ‘Say Hello’ is Findlay urging readers to treat those with disabilities and disfigurements as people; to just greet disabled people like we would an able bodied person and try dispelling any intrusive thoughts and questions we may have about them. Findlay’s memoir also mentions her various successes in life: doing talks, writing, marrying a man she loves and who loves her and having loving family and friends. She didn’t grow up knowing many people with ichthyosis and she wants her book to be evidence that those with ichthyosis can overcome ableism and live a happy life.
I listened to the audiobook of the author reading her memoir. I did find the structure to be a bit fragmented and not flowing as nicely as I thought it could. There were some points that were repeated, so I think the memoir could have done with a bit more editing. That being said, it’s a necessary addition to OwnVoices accounts of living with disability and I’m glad I listened to it.
Ichthyosis seems painful, Findlay details how her skin condition causes her pain and how much care she has to give it. However, in her memoir the pain of ichthyosis comes second to the pain of dealing with the disgust some people show when they meet her. Through personal memories and anecdotes she describes the ableism she faced and continues to face everyday. People make assumptions about her because of her appearance or her status as a disabled person. She has been bullied by peers and random strangers on the street; she has been the victim of online harassment from internet communities.
The title ‘Say Hello’ is Findlay urging readers to treat those with disabilities and disfigurements as people; to just greet disabled people like we would an able bodied person and try dispelling any intrusive thoughts and questions we may have about them. Findlay’s memoir also mentions her various successes in life: doing talks, writing, marrying a man she loves and who loves her and having loving family and friends. She didn’t grow up knowing many people with ichthyosis and she wants her book to be evidence that those with ichthyosis can overcome ableism and live a happy life.
I listened to the audiobook of the author reading her memoir. I did find the structure to be a bit fragmented and not flowing as nicely as I thought it could. There were some points that were repeated, so I think the memoir could have done with a bit more editing. That being said, it’s a necessary addition to OwnVoices accounts of living with disability and I’m glad I listened to it.
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