How Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids

by Mark Bertin

What if simply relaxing and having fun with your kids is actually the best thing you can do for them? As it turns out, science says that it is. In How Children Thrive, Dr. Mark Bertin provides a comprehensive resource for parenting children of all ages.

A pediatrician and parent himself, Dr. Bertin teaches that by understanding healthy developmental stages, parents are better able to support their child’s well-being. Using new insights from the science of executive functioning (those skills that help us self-regulate and achieve goals), Dr. Bertin shows us that a supportive, fun, growth-promoting environment—not a hovering, high-pressure, overprotective one—is what kids actually need to thrive.

Parents will learn to: create simple routines that support independence in everything from homework to sleep; incorporate mindfulness practices for the whole family; understand the scientific benefits of free play; use developmental markers to know whether a child is maturing normally or needs professional support; and much more.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

256 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2018

About the author

Dr. Bertin is a developmental pediatrician and author of How Children Thrive, Mindful Parenting for ADHD and The Family ADHD Solution, which integrate mindfulness into the rest of evidence-based pediatric care. He is a contributing author for the book Teaching Mindfulness Skills to Kids and Teens. Dr. Bertin is on faculty at New York Medical College and the Windward Teacher Training Institute, and on the advisory boards for the non-profits Common Sense Media and Reach Out and Read. He is a regular contributor to Mindful Magazine, and his blog is available through Mindful.org and Psychology Today. For more information, please visit his website at www.developmentaldoctor.com.

Reviews

[Elaine Mullane || Elaine and the Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

I delve into parenting books from time to time, either reading them from cover to cover or dipping in and out of them as the need arises. Dr. Mark Bertin, a parent himself, believes that a supportive, fun, environment is what provides the best setting for a child to truly thrives, not a helicopter-parent, high-pressure, overprotective one.

In this book he demonstrates how to create routines that support a child's independence in everything from homework to play to sleep; incorporate mindfulness as a practice the whole family can benefit from; and use markers to track your child's development.

I found many of Bertin's theories and suggestions practical and useful, especially those around mindfulness and independent play. A knowledgeable and well-informed book on parenting.

[Teryn Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

My elementary-school-age son has been struggling lately at school (with focusing and general unhappiness) and a friend who knows the author suggested I read a copy of this book.
I'm not a frequent reader of parenting books, but I felt this one was genuinely helpful, clear, and reassuring. It had practical tips and advice that have been easy to incorporate into our lives, from simple self-assessments of what has been making life feel overly complicated to more detailed strategies on how you can become your child's "brain manager" until they are developmentally prepared to assume that role.
Though I have heard about executive function, Dr. Bertin's presentation of the material was very accessible and eye-opening. I particularly connected to the idea that a common consequence of pushing a child academically too early and expecting that a young child behave like an older child can be a misdiagnosis of ADHD. This hit home for me in terms of my own son's behavior and frustrations and led me to make some simple changes at homework time that have made a huge difference. Just taking a few minutes to talk him through the steps or providing a basic framework for an essay have helped tremendously. I realized that my son just wasn't quite there developmentally to make the mental leaps requested of him at school. I have no doubt he'll get there, as this book reassuringly points out, but until then there are so many simple things I can do to help and role-model behaviors.
The ultimate take-away: Do your best as a parent; drop the extra stuff that's complicating things; and then have fun with your family. I can get behind that.

[Kate Taelman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Much of book was common sense parenting advice. Some of it discussed the issue of being over scheduled, which included sports/activities and homework. He also focused on technology/screen time quite a bit. One criticism is that many assumptions are made when discussing screen time. Screen time is almost impossible to limit when they are using it throughout their school day and also at home (for their homework). I understand what the research says and I agree with the points the author made but that doesn't necessarily mean I can do anything to change that.

I think this book would be a good book for new parents or very overwhelmed parents that need to regroup a bit.

[E C · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read an advance copy of the book and I am so glad I did. As a parent and teacher, I've read a lot of books about child development/executive function and Dr. Bertin's is heads above the rest: wise, clear, and pertinent to my day to day life. It's got a lot of information that other books on the topic miss and while it's grounded in research, it helped me think about my life in the here and now. It's tone inspires perspective, empowers change, and offers a supportive anchor for dealing with the ongoing, often frustrating complex issues of being a person and a parent in this modern world.

[Ashley W · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book as part of a book club for parents with special education children. As someone with a 2E child who's already been through the wringer, I found these recommendations generic and basic. There was nothing more insightful than what one might read in Psychology Today articles (which are very helpful articles...but I'd rather just read Psychology Today articles rather than a book!) This book might be helpful for parents just starting to explore this topic and with neurotypical children, but it was not useful for parents in my book club (like me) who have offbeat kids.

[Kim Lydick · Rating 5 out of 5]

After parenting a child with ADHD for 7 years, being with at least 10 different doctors including multiple counselors, multiple psychologists, a social worker, teachers, this book finally got through to me like no one had. I now understand my ADHD child like never before.

[K Hue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice short chapters with helpful tips.

[Martine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I agree with a lot of what this author says. I wish there were more examples so I could grasp what he was saying better but I think I got the gist of it.

[Lidia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Practical concepts. I liked the focus on EF and mindfulness.

[Vcmc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Mark Bertin’s book, Mindful Parenting for ADHD because it was informative, evidence based, easy to follow and most importantly warm and compassionate. That is the best book for parents, carers and anyone with an interest in child development that I have read.

This book is good too, clear, informed, sensible, practical. Somehow though it lacks the warm, compassionate voice (at least until the final section on mindfulness) that made me love the other book so much.

Plenty to appreciate here and this would be extremely helpful for any parent struggling to maintain an even keel, I just missed the magic ingredient that I found in the other book.

[Ruksana · Rating 5 out of 5]

There a millions on parenting books out there each one telling us to do more of this or more of that. Thrive tells us that children haven’t changed even if our parenting style does over the years. Loved this book and would recommend it to anxious parents who are pressured to perform just as much as their child.

[Kristina Aziz · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first class I ever failed was Chemistry, at age 15. I ended the semester with a generously given 13/100. It wasn't until a few years later, when my mother was talking to me about brain development (family of nerds for the win) that I understood why: biologically, my brain simply wasn't ready to understand things like chemistry and calculus at fifteen years old.

This book isn't asking you to be supermom, and there isn't really any mention of 'good' or 'bad' parenting, just observations on how parenting in general has changed and an exploration into whether it needed to. There's an emphasis on age and developmentally appropriate activities and routines, from how to get your little one to do their own homework to how to help teens develop good judgement.

Definitely recommended.

[Ann T · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to sounds True Publishing and Netgalley for an ARC for this book.

This was an easy to read book that gave great, useful tips on parenting. I would recommend this book.

[RedRobinXXX · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am reviewing this book for Mark Bentin, Sounds True Publishing, and NetGalley who gave me a copy of their book for an honest review.
I found the majority of the book was very practical but predominantly common-sense.
Over commitments to numerous clubs is discussed and I do agree that lots of children are pushed into too many extra-curricular activities.
Another issue was the limitation of screen time. This is easy to say but not so easy to enforce especially as today’s children are part of the new generation and are expected to use technology to help them learn. If you made them look all the facts up in books, you are putting them at a disadvantage, as their classmates will have googled it and found the information out within seconds. Yes, I agree they shouldn’t sit on it all day but they should be allowed to have it as a choice of relaxation if that is their choice, as long as there are other activities available.