Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples

by H. Norman Wright, Wes Roberts

Is marriage on your mind? Have you found "the one"? This popular and helpful interactive workbook is designed to strengthen your love relationship and deepen your bond. You'll find all you need for fun and thoughtful discussions as you explore vital areas, Drawn from years of marriage preparation seminars and counseling sessions, these insightful questions will help you build a solid future together. With Jesus as your cornerstone, your partner and you can create a loving, successful marriage. More than 500,000 couples helped!

Genres: Marriage, Relationships, Christian, Christian Living, Nonfiction, Reference, Counselling

96 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 1978

About the author

H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. www.hnormanwright.com

Reviews

[Chejo · Rating 4 out of 5]

No soy de este tipo de lectura pero por los días que ando viviendo toca cambiar haha.

El libro me gusta dado a que no se refiere a si mismo como la guía definitiva del matrimonio, sino que trata de abarcar los temas siempre poniendo a Dios y la Biblia de primero, por lo que te hace buscar varios pasajes para meterte de lleno en la lectura. Los ejercicios también logran que puedas hacerlos con tu pareja y nos la pasamos bastante bien y nos demostraron que estamos de acuerdo en muchas cosas y en las que no ya las hemos platicado desde antes (creo que por eso se nos hizo fácil).

Ahora bien, siento que el libro puede modernizarse más y la traducción no digamos, ya que hablan de cosas de la cultura norteamericana que no aplica tanto a los hispanohablantes. Por todo lo demás es una buena guía que lastimosamente podría ser más larga.

[Kindra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very helpful study manual for couples who are wanting more than the more 'traditional' questions you may ask each other through your relationship. If you already live together, it will probably not be very useful. Talks through financial, sexual, spiritual, theoretical, Biblical, relational and communication based topics, all focused specifically on your relationship. My now husband and I used this while we were long distance for most of our engagement, and it helped us prepare for our marriage more than almost anything else we did. Great tool to help focus and clarify, as well as facilitate closeness in your relationship.

[Latonya · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are getting married, this workbook is a must. It will make you think about things that most people who are dating don't think about because they are wrapped up in their emotions. When you finish, you'll discover just how warped your perception of what real love is. Hint: It's far more than an emotion, butterflies in the stomach or giggles. I would also suggest H. Norman Wright's book, "So, You're Getting Married".

[Lakisha Dockett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I prefer this over the original workbook, but my fiancé and I are going through the workbook too as part of our pre-marriage counseling. This book was good to use for daily "quiet times" with God. They also sparked some good introspection and conversations with my fiancé to get to know ourselves and each other better and make plans and promises that will help lay the foundation for a life together where we're unified and meeting each other's needs.

[Mark A Hoffer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Little teaching

I found this book to be somewhat helpful, but the teaching and principles covered are fairly superficial. Many of the pages are worksheets and numerous Bible references. There is not much opinion offered, and therefore it's not the greatest premarital counseling reference.

[Shauna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good to read before you get married. I recommend it to everyone who is engaged or thinking about it!

[Larry Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for premarital counseling

[Nia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great premarital counseling book. It addresses a lot of areas that most people would think are small and trivial. Those small things can become big things in the future.

[Kelsey Ross]

Jeffrey and I's marriage workbook before the BIG day!!!

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

We loved this book!!! Highly recommend it!!!!!

[areadersjourney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting take on relationships, love and communication before and after marriage. Will definitely reread if needed.

[Angela Rueger · Rating 5 out of 5]

My daughter is soon to be engaged, so I purchased this book to give to her and her boyfriend. They have been chomping at the bit to begin premarital counseling, but since they are not yet officially engaged, it's too soon to meet with a counselor. However, it isn't too soon for them to read a book.

This is actually a workbook with a strong foundation of Scripture for each issue that is addressed. While space is provided in the book for most of your answers, you will also want to have a binder or spiral notebook handy for the questions he asks you to answer "on a separate piece of paper." Each chapter includes questions and/or quizzes for you to answer individually, and then discuss with your prospective spouse. It could work equally well whether you are seated together at a table to work chapter by chapter, or whether you work on your own time and then come together to discuss and share your answers. In fact, it might be a good idea to do a little of both as you work your way through the book.

One thing I particularly like about this author's approach is the fact that he often asks you to write down how you think your potential mate would answer the question. This becomes a really good gauge of how well you know the person you intend to marry.

This is a great book for anyone planning to be engaged or married in the near future. Does it cover every potential hurdle? No. One topic I noticed was absent was that of pets. What if one of you loves pets and the other hates them or is severely allergic to them? What if you already have pets? While this may or may not be a deal-breaker, it certainly is something you need to talk about before marriage. There may be other things you will have thought about that are not covered in this book, but this is an excellent place to start, and the format lends itself very well to helping you develop great communication skills, which is vital to a successful marriage. I highly recommend this book for yourself or your loved one.

[Samuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Než povieš "áno" bola jednou z najužitočnejších kníh, aké sme s mojou manželkou počas predmanželskej prípravy prečítali...alebo teda skôr s akou sme pracovali, lebo je to kniha plná zamyslení, ale tiež úloh a otázok, na ktoré si aj vo svetle zamyslení navzájom odpovedáte. Všetko je to doplnené o odkazy na Bibliu, ktorých je naozaj požehnane a všetky sa nejakým spôsobom dotýkajú manželstva a manželského života.

Teda, ak sa niekto rozhodne ísť touto cestou v príprave na manželstvo, spolu s touto knihou otvorí otázky "Čo je to manželstvo?", akú úlohu má jedinečnosť a prijatie v manželstve, akú povahu ma láska v manželstve, aké sú moje očakávania od manželstva, čo je víziou nášho manželstva, aké sú potreby, role, zodpovednosti. Otvoríte tému toho, kto bude hlavou rodiny a čo to vlastne znamená, aký bude váš vzťah so širšou rodinou jedného aj druhého, ako správne komunikovať, ako riešiť konflikty, financie, sexuálny a duchovný život. Myslím, že je tam vari všetko podstatné a dôležité, otázky sú veľmi dobré a nápomocné. Vrelo odporúčam. My sa ku knihe s manželkou stále vraciame.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

The lessons were very valuable for the most part. The mentality of the writing and even some of the examples seem very dated. I would love to see an updated version that reflects today's culture and worldview, and the general preconceptions about marriage itself. Still, it's helpful for people who are thinking seriously about marriage.

[Gabriela Hanusch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Woohoo! Marriage! Our pastor uses this book throughout our pre-marital counseling and it had been such a blessing. The questions and conversation topics that are covered bring forth discussions that Cody and I probably wouldn’t have thought about without it. Reading scriptures together and talking about how we want our marriage to look has already been so much fun and incredibly beneficial.

[Tanvi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect read for couples in christ or even those looking/already married. There is so much you need to know when it comes to marriage and making it work as a team & the writer has explained it perfectly in this book. Definitely a worthy purchase. 💙

[Jaalah Schuring · Rating 4 out of 5]

Execelent for those preparing for marriage!

[Alex Akpodiete, JD, PMP · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Recommend it for all engaged couples or those thinking about marriage.

[Megan Ferguson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good basic text, nice to have the information.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good resource for premarital counseling.

[Anthony Montalvo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marriage counseling required reading

Very informative for couples. Going to read after I say I do aslo. Will be married in June 2023
Amen

[Morgan Raymond · Rating 1 out of 5]

This workbook is really creepy in the sense that it almost asks questions you 1000% should know about your partner before marriage. Noah & I didn't like it at all. Not for us, we're too close 💀

[tyleana cripe · Rating 5 out of 5]

we got married too fast to ever finish this lolll but solid book to read with your to be husband / wife!

[Rebekah Snyder]

How does one review such a book? I’d say it did nothing for me, but my fiancé and I bonded over our shared disdain for this manuscript so maybe that counts for something? I guess I don’t know what I expected from pre-marital counseling, but it was not all this superficial get-to-know-you kind of stuff. Chapter after chapter, we read through it and said, “Duh.”

We came to the conclusion that this book was not written for us, and if there are people who are getting married without being aligned on these keys things then, yes, this conversation needs to happen. But if you ask me, that begs the question, why were they even considering getting married to begin with?

Overall review: Not helpful for mature couples.

[Chad CG · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has been the best workbook I’ve done or read leading up to marriage. My fiancé and I did it as our premarital counseling book and it was chalk full of wisdom and conversation starters. Bible verses are behind every point and question and there are many helpful charts and diagrams in there as well. I recommend this to any for preparing for marriage and I think that I would come back to this in a few years and find it has more to offer and reinforce.

[Samuel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bethany and I went through a lot of pre-marital counseling material (some of which we didn’t finish before marriage 😅🐸) and this workbook was one of them.
There’s good stuff in here, but to be honest it all ends up bleeding together into one conglomerate of homework to read…
This workbook has a lot of questions for you to answer and discuss, but I’d say too many. It’s a bit overwhelming.
It’s worth keeping because it has some great prayers within it though!

[Bethany Baker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my favorite workbook. Mostly because the topics were ones we had already discussed before starting the book. There are lots of questions that become repetitive. I don’t think it really got to the heart level material that would be ideal to prep for marriage.

It did spark a few good discussions and had a prayer that we appreciated.

[Cristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This workbook was super super helpful for my husband and I. We would work on it almost all of the time that we met up while engaged. It helped us talk about topics that we never brought up before.

[Angela Platt · Rating 3 out of 5]

An excellent, practical guide for some "self-counselling" before you marry. However, keep in mind that this book (and all books like it) can only provide a guide, not a rule of law by which to abide. Keep that in mind, and use it with a grain of salt. All recommendations will not be equally helpful to all people. Nevertheless, it is a very useful starting point, and very practical.

[Iris Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great resource for couples.

I strongly recommend this book for couples as they prepare for marriage. This was required by our church along with counseling. Awesome resource!